HONG KONG DATING

Beating the New Year blues

Valentina Tudose puts a positive spin on a tough start to 2021

After a quiet festive season where many of us couldn’t return home for the holidays, the New Year might not be looking so bright. Being single during the winter months may make you feel a little sorry for yourself, wishing you had already found that special someone to cuddle up with. Here are three ways to ensure you have a fabulous start to the new year, regardless of your relationship status.

1. Wake up and go to bed reminding yourself you HAVE everything

The truth about our pre-covid world is that it has turned many people into spoiled, entitled brats who had to have everything RIGHT NOW. Instant deliveries, instant dates, instant relationships – the expectation of instant gratification was the number one rule and if anything didn’t go our way, it was easier to drop it and move on to the next adventure. The mentality of always ‘wanting’ something is a sign we feel that we don’t ‘have’ anything, so we keep chasing the next high of a new purchase or a new Tinder match. Start and end your day with a five-minute meditation repeating the following affirmations to yourself: To help these affirmations take root in your mind, repeat every day for 21 days and pay attention to all the little signs everything IS really working to your advantage.

2. Make lots of time for self-care

In our constant chase for external validation, we often end up prioritising other people’s needs over our own, as a way of getting them to like us. This people-pleasing behavior, whether it is doing extra work to impress your boss (it won’t, he doesn’t care) or going out of your way to make things happen with a new guy, only results in us investing a lot less in ‘me time’.

This month do yourself a favor and put yourself at the top of your list. Not just by buying yourself that bag but also by making sure you eat better, sleep better, meditate, spend time in nature, make new friends and even deal with some of your old emotional wounds.

To give yourself a fresh start, spend some time setting goals, letting go of old attachments (yeah, stop stalking your ex on Instagram) and clearing up any baggage that’s holding you stuck in the past.

3. Express gratitude for everything and everyone in your life

Gratitude is like a magic wand that erases pain and struggles.There is nothing more powerful than feeling love and acceptance for yourself and others and showing that appreciation to everyone around you. If you do it constantly – say thank you to people you love for being in your life, you will notice your relationships will become stronger and deeper and you will always have people by your side. A great gratitude practice is to write down three things you are grateful for at the end of each day as well as three things you like about yourself.

You may struggle in the beginning, but it will soon become second nature and you will notice a transformation in your view of the world. These mental shifts will guarantee your New Year will be

I am exactly where I need to be in my life Everything is working to my advantage I am beautiful, powerful and independent I am in the right place at the right time

full of self-love, friends and laughter.

Valentina Tudose is a relationship coach and founder of Happy Ever After. For more information visit happyeverafter.asia