Dedication

This issue is dedicated to, like, the Starbucks on Snelling in Saint Paul, where I did a bunch of the design work.

We hope you enjoy your spring. And that’s a threat. Signed,

Jess Parker

Things I Never Wanted To Know About Dinosaurs

There were abundant Pterosaurs but no Pterodactyl. Triceratops was discovered by a cowboy in Colorado, whose state dinosaur is diplodocus. Diplodocus is longer and thinner than Brontosaurus and Pteranodon had no teeth. Lambeosaurus was a duck-billed dinosaur with a bony, crest on its head and stegosauri were longer than a London bus but with lime-sized brains. My toddler knows all their names and corrects my meager impersonations of their throaty roars. After all, the seven-syllable Pachycephalosaurus makes more hum than howl. When I ask about his favorite dinosaur, he hesitates, turning the question over his tongue. Reluctant to narrow it down, he breaks into song, Dinosaurs marching one by one…