12/1/99

The Entertainment Weekly of Getting Fucked by Christ Punchers

Wednesday, December 01, 1999

“That’s one mean pussy”

Volume XXXI Number 7?

We can only speculate which species will survive Y2K Armaggedon...

But at least we know what they ll be reading

EDITORIALS

anish1@eden

Wednesday December 1, 1999

The human race is truly doomed. I did not come to this conclusion by studying ancient texts or giving in to millenium apocalypse myths was just in the bathroom and I saw a fucking dick and predictions. No, I came to this conclusion survey about size (hard and soft), cut or uncut, by reading the Targum last week (I come to that sexual orientation and age. My God is this stupid. same conclusion everyday after reading the You mean to tell me that the only way gay men have to find each other is through clandestine Targum.- Ops. Ed.). There was an editorial messages left on men’s room walls (That’s how I about Pokemon. In this editorial the confused writer somehow tied Pokemon in to the degrada- find gay men - What’s Shakin’ Ed.)? So where tion and bankruptcy of America’s children and does all this lead to? Stupid people will eventually society in general. She used such examples as a destroy us all. Now I’m the first to admit that I do man luring a little kid into his car with Pokemon a hell of a lot of stupid things in the course of a day.

But I’m smart enough to do something that most cards, and kids threatening each other with violence if they don’t come up off their Pokemon people don’t do. I LEARN FROM MY FUCKING MISTAKES!!! And I try not to do cards. Stupid, stupid girl. Kids have always them again. I also realize when I’ve been stupid ripped off other kids for whatever they had of value. If somebody steals candy are you going to and apologize for it. People like me are the ones who might be able to save the human race from blame the candy for being so sweet and delicious? NO! You blame the fucking criminal not itself (Are we still talking about Pokemon. Ops. Ed.). the object of the crime. Stupid.

But the ones who are the most dangerous, Another thing of stupidity; why is the men’s bathroom the hotspot for gay men to meet the ones who will get the rest of us completely fucked up, are the stupid people who are absoeach other. I can’t go piss without being aslutely certain that they are right. Most religious saulted by numerous offers of blow-jobs and people fall under this grouping. Now I don’t have jerk-offs and “come to ___ for ___ at ___’o clock”. What the sweet fuck is this all about. I a problem with religion, it’s the religious who scare

me. Example number 1: godhatesfags.com. If this isn’t the number one example of human stupidity I’ve ever seen, my name isn’t John.

It’s a website from Christians that preaches hate. Religious types are some of the most hateful stupid people around. If they were smarter they would realize that the religions they claim to espouse teach people to NOT hate others. Stupid people have gotten more non-stupid killed throughout history than any other people. Every major war can be traced to stupid people. So you say, who should decide who’s stupid and who isn’t? Who should decide who’s genes are fit enough to be passed on to the next generation? NATURAL FUCKING SELECTION that’s who. It’s about time that we as a people stop getting in the way of evolution and let stupid people die.

Because the meek may have been intended to inherit the Earth, but the Stupid people control the Earth. So in conclusion, never underestimate the human capacity for stupidity.

By John Minus, Arts Editor

The Aggie's Lesson to the Scarlet Knight I used to think that school spirit and a positive self-image was impossible for Rutgers. After all, this is a school of 35,000 students spread across a large campus in a fairly large town in a large state. Schools like this don't exactly evoke images of unity and community.

However, after looking at the aftermath of the Texas A&M bonfire tragedy, which happened in a school of 43,000 in an even larger state than this (Rutgers has 48,000 students, not 35,000 - Ops. Ed.), I have had to rethink that notion.

Allow me to backtrack a bit and explain what happened. Every year, Texas A&M University plays their biggest rivals, the University of Texas, in an endof-regular-season football game on Thanksgiving weekend. The build-up to this football game in the football-mad state of Texas is huge. Every year, Texas A&M holds this huge pep rally before the game, with the centerpiece being a 6 story bonfire, which is supposed to symbolize their burning desire to beat Texas. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, the wood for the bonfire, which was about two-thirds of the way to the desired height, collapsed while students were working on it. As a result, 12 people died, and more than two dozen people were injured. What amazes thought is the response to the accident (The concept of proofreading must amaze

by Todd Graham you, too. -Ops. Ed.).

The student body, even those who didn't know any of the people involved in the tragedy, actually mourned the deaths that resulted from the bonfire collapse. In most major media outlets, Texas A&M alum, famous or not, showed legitimate outpourings of grief. Despite the sheer size of the school, everyone connected with the school seemed to feel connected with the people in the tragedy.

Now let's look at Rutgers, where everyone gets along oh-so-joyfully. We spend so much of our time attacking other people involved in the university, we can't seem to get a sense of unity, community or, at the very least, pride. For example, let's look at the whole Flaming Cyclops controversy. While many people in the student body were, for once, united in a common cause, others were complaining about how dare they unite on what was to them a benign issue. Also, a month back when Joe Norton died on Cook, a lot of the letters of condolensces printed in the Green Print were prefaced with remarks complaining about how President Fran Lawrence and the Targum were going to go through the motions of

Page Page Page Page Page Page

2 3 4 5 6 7

Poop Shit Doodie Excrement Turd Poo poo

Page Page Page Page Page

8 9 10 11 12

Cover by: Luis Martinez

Log Mr. Hanky

Feces Crap What’s Shakin’

THE

MEDIUM

CONTENTS

continued on page 3 The Editorial Staff Editor in Chief Managing Editor Business Manager Opinions Editor News Editor Features Editor Arts Editor

Amanda Hoffman Chris Taylor Heather Thompson Anish Mehta Chris Taylor Garrett Glick John Minus

Personals Editors What’s Shakin’ Editor Staff Artist Online Editor?

Advertising Manager Senior Editor

Jason Postelnik & Mike Molino “Big” Cock DeSarnoc Hsing-Hsing Chris DeSarno Heather Thompson Anish Mehta

THE MEDIUM is the entertainment weekly of Rutgers University. All articles are the opinions of the authors and are not necessarily shared by THE MEDIUM. Submission and business deadline is Sunday at 12:00 pm. The office of THE MEDIUM was located in the Yorba Lounge of Tillett Hall, Livingston Campus. All correspondence may be addressed to THE MEDIUM L.P.O 16405 P.O Box 5064, New Brunswick, N.J. 08903-5064 or emailed to amandah@eden.rutgers.edu. Our phone number is (732) 445-7200. cac407 sucks.

OPINIONS OPINIONS

filler good, empty space bad

Each year, a new batch of freshmen grace the University with their presence. And each year these freshmen seem dumber than their predecessors. Most merely follow a daily regimen of skipping class, playing the latest version

NOT ONLY THE UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT

of Donkey Kong or some other computer game, trying to get laid, and jerking off to our personals section. Evidence of this can be seen in the general lack of knowledge in areas like world events, local politics, and issues that affect the University. In addition to this is their strange hunchback stature, low, sloping forehead, and the prominent brow ridge,that most freshmen have, which suggests their evolutionary regressive nature.

However, the physiological difference between freshman and humans is another matter which I will not go into right now. I am more concerned with the matter of how most students at Rutgers do not know who the President of the University is according to recent polls. The name Fran Lawrence (that’s the University President), besides its obvious bizarre androgynous aspects, means nothing to the masses of Rutgers.

Some people who do know who Fran is may remember the remarks that he made in 1994 about how African Americans don’t do well in

Fran in Brief 1987: Received PhD in Genetics from Hamburger University 1989: Man-Friend of the Decade - N.A.M.B.L.A. (North American Man-Boy Love Association) 1989-1991: Mickey Mouse Club (Cast Member) 1991-Present: Rutgers University President Hometown: Compton Favorite Food: “Denny’s Grits” Secret Crush: “Zack, the youngest Hanson. He’s so cute, how could you not want to shove him up your ass.”

Favorite part of body: “My full African lips.”

Least favorite part of body: “My ass. I have my mother’s ass, and I have to accept it.”

school because of inferior genetics. Besides being stupid enough to not only believe in this idea, but to also express the thought in public, Fran hasn’t exactly done very much to improve Rutgers since he started as President in 1991.

Professors, the school’s most important resource, had to work without a contract for years under the reign of Fran.

For some reason, third rate football players are treated better than teachers at this school. There are also other problems that students care about like bureaucracy and lack of parking which will never be an issue for Fran.

However, at least he’s learning how to become a better leader in the political sense. He’s getting the hang of making it look like he’s doing important work while getting nothing worth while completed. An example of this is his mission to “bring Rutgers into the 21st century” by exploiting the public’s interest in technology. He recently sent us all e-mails to send his “sincere” condolences over the deaths of two Rutgers students. It was a perfect opportunity to make it look like he cares about us and to seem like he’s embracing technolBUT ALSO THE HAIRCLUB ogy by using e-mail, although, PRESIDENT he was probably merely too cheap to spend money on paper.

I expect more from the President of a large University than depending on buzz words like “hi-tech” or “RUNet” to appease the mindless masses and keep them from looking at other lingering problems, but hell, he studied French literature in school. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing. Also, people seem to have stopped calling for his resignation and have completely forgotten about his whole existence. Besides, Fran’s so damn cute and sexy, I can’t stand to hate him for that long. That’s all the space I have left. This filler has been brought to you by Ultimate Experience. Look below.

continued from page 2 mourning. As one can clearly see, we clearly are not a united campus (It’s clearly clear now that you’ve clearly made yourself clear. - Ops. Ed.) Now that Anish (I’m only on a first-name basis with people who send me articles before the Sunday deadline. This doesn’t include you - Ops. Ed.)has made a few of his delightfully tasteful and timely comment (and now that Todd has made another grammatical error... - Ops. Ed.), allow me to make my point.

Simply put, we, as a school, can and should work to foster as much of a sense of unity and community as possible. Even though we come from many different

Wednesday December 1, 1999

backgrounds and perspectives, the one thing that unites us, our status as Rutgers students, should be a rallying point for us (Maybe if our football team was actually good, we’d have enough “school pride” to do ridiculously stupid things like building a 6 story tall bonfire resulting in the death of 12 Rutgers students so we look and feel “united” - Ops. Ed.) . I used to think that this wasn't possible at Rutgers. Then, Texas A&M proved me wrong, with the enormous strength in its community. Maybe we should stop trashing each other for a while, and give this pride thing a shot (Fuckin’ hippy - Ops. Ed.).

Medium Meetings are every Wednesday @ 9:30 PM. Livingston Student Center, Organizations Office, Room 113.

NEWS

Marge Simpson is a MILF.

Wednesday, December 1, 1999

By Christopher Taylor MEDIUM STAFF

stare into me--greybox

Alex Trebek: Big Man with a Gun

LOS ANGELES Jeopardy host Alex Trebek, angered by the success of upstart rival Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, opened fire upon host Regis Philbin late yesterday evening. Philbin, long time television personality and Kathie Lee Gifford s scratching post, died instantly.

After Jeopardy saw its ratings sapped by cable quiz shows like Win Ben Stein s Money, Trebek began to grow increasingly more agitated and irritable on the set, according to coworker (and host of Merv Griffin s other success, Wheel of Fortune) Pat Sajak.

When Jeopardy was humiliated by Millionaire s latest ratings, compounded with this past summer s stellar run, Trebek snapped.

He was running around the studio screaming about Regis being not fucking smart enough to host a quiz show. When he looked at me, he apologized and explained that Wheel doesn t count, said Wheel s aging sex symbol Vanna White, I wasn t offended, though he is completely right.

Trebek reportedly left the studio packing heat, for Philbin s nearby home. Thirteen shells were unloaded into Philbin s face at roughly 11:36 PM while Trebek sang the Disney classic, Whistle While You Work.

According to a spokesman at ABC claimed that the loss of Philbin would only slightly affect the schedule, and that a replacement host would be found before the next installment of the show would be taped.

We ve had several ideas Regis Philbin: Small Man with a Hole about replacements for Regis in the works since the phenomenal summer run. Mostly we have been thinking of various non-human animals to fill the position. We ve thought about [Monkey Trouble star] Koko or [SeaWorld s] Shamu in fact, had [The National Zoo s Giant Panda] Hsing Hsing been well enough, health-wise, we would have used him for this past run. Too bad he is dead now Trebek is being commended personally by William Bubba Clinton for his bravery in action and the great service he has bestowed upon this country.

Philbin is survived by two wives and four children. He was 66 years of age.

naziphallus@hotmail.com

Tony Blair s Labour Party does more than labour. They party like its 1999.

Trebek Kills Philbin Blair Condemns

US Transit Policy

By Christopher Taylor MEDIUM STAFF I sat down with British Prime Minister Tony Blair on Thanksgiving to discuss the United States transportation system. At first glance, one might wonder why I wouldn’t have discussed the topic with U.S. Transportation Secretary Rodney E. Slater or Neal Lane, assistant to the president for science and technology.

They did not return my calls. Regardless of the lack of immediacy of Blair’s knowledge, he is a very intelligent man, and so I believe somewhat qualified to discuss the topic.

Taylor: Good evening, Mr. Blair. I hope your Thanksgiving went well.

Blair: Actually, sir, I’m still in the midst of the holiday. I’m currently situated between several family members, waiting for pumpkin pie.

Taylor: Good, good. So, Mr. Blair…

Blair: May I interrupt?

Taylor: You just did.

Blair: Whatever. Are you even listening to me? It is after midnight and I’m British, yet you believed that I was still involved in that disgustingly gluttonous tryptophan-enriched meal? What paper did you say you were from again?

Taylor: The Medium, sir.

Blair: Ah, yes. The Medium. Clearly you are a stateside institution…from New York?

Taylor: New Brunswick, actually.

Blair: Canada?

Taylor: No, sir. New Brunswick, New Jersey.

Blair: Oh. And you wanted to talk about Northern Ireland, did you?

Taylor: No, sir. I was anxious to discuss with you issues surrounding the United States’ Department of Transportation.

Blair: What?

Taylor: Didn’t your press secretary tell you anything?

Blair: Only that you’d been repeatedly sending her harassing e-mails for the past nine months.

Taylor: That is how I operate. I always get the story…eventually.

Blair: Whatever. So you wanted to talk about the DOT? Taylor: Yes. Blair: What about it?

Taylor: Well, I was wondering what you thought about the relative size of each of its subdepartments.

Blair: I don’t follow.

Taylor: The DOT is divided into several sub-sections.

Blair: Yes? Taylor: Yes. There is a Federal Highway Administration, a Federal Aviation Administration, a Federal Railroad…

Blair: I get the idea. What about it?

Taylor: I was inquiring about your opinion of the respective sizes of these sub-departments.

Blair: Well…I don’t know a great deal about the DOT, but I suspect that there is most likely an excessive emphasis on the Highway Administration’s role.

Taylor: And why would you say that?

Blair: I don’t know the figures off-hand, but I believe they get something like three times more than all the other sub-departments combined.

Taylor: And they shouldn’t?

Blair: Well, in this modern day, there has been a great move on the part of most countries to

de-emphasize the role of oil and other fossil fuels in everyday life. Because Americans tend to drive more, neglecting more efficient modes of transportation like bikes, trains, buses and walking, the oil consumption for your country is ten times what it ought to be.

Taylor: I see.

Blair: Do you own an automobile sir?

Taylor: Actually, no.

Blair: Oh. How about your friends?

Taylor: Some of them.

Blair: And do they drive to places when they could take the train or a bus? Do they drive to work even though it is within walking distance?

Taylor: Sometimes.

Blair: Alright then.

Taylor: But why shouldn’t they be allowed to drive there…if they can afford it?

Blair: Because we live in an age in which these sorts of hedonistic self-centered acts affect other individuals, environmentally speaking. There are quality of life issues at stake.

Taylor: I see. But wouldn’t more roads lessen congestion on the roadways, thereby allowing people to get where they are going quicker, leaving the cars running for less time?

Blair: Studies have shown repeatedly that adding roads does not decrease traffic.

Taylor: What? How does that work?

Blair: What tends to happen when they build more roads is that they build them between places. They are not adding roads to the center of cities. And so people that had been previously living in the cities in which they work tend to gravitate towards the suburbs built along the new roads.

Taylor: Oh. So automobile usage is directly connected to suburbia?

Blair: Now you’re catching on.

Taylor: So that is why Britain still has farmland. It is the mass transit system that keeps the urban centers from sprawling throughout the countryside.

Blair: That and a hefty gas tax. Do you know how much we pay for gas over here? We’re not talking a buck, or anywhere near it…

Taylor: Alright Mr. Blair. Thanks for chatting.

Blair: It has been a pleasure.

Jerry Lewis died for your sins. Follow.

Wednesday, December 1, 1999

NEWS

naziphallus@hotmail.com

DOMINICAN REPUBLIC In a move previously only performed by Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary, Sammy Sosa appeared in a plate of beans last month in Boca Chica. Sammy was discovered by fisherman Jose Torres and his wife Marguerita.

I had finished making the beans for dinner right, and I was making the rice and baking the plantains, when mi esposa screamed Dios Mio! and passed out at the dinner table. I ran over to see what was wrong, and there staring up at me from her plate was Slammin Sammy , Torres explained.

Sosa has been a major star in the Dominican Republic ever since he signed his first pro contract at the age of 16. His popularity grew exponentially because of his home run race with Mark McGuire over the last two years. With the growth of his popularity among the

cats and dogs living together mass hysteria

Image of Sammy Sosa Seen in Plate

By John Minus of Beans STAFF WRITER

Drowned Sewer Rat Eats New York

By Christopher Taylor MEDIUM STAFF

273 career homers, two all-star games and the biggest cock you ve ever seen Sammy!

Latin community of America he has been elevated to near Sainthood by the people of his home country.

Sammy is the greatest man to ever walk the Earth after Christo that is. Next year we are going to build a 500-ft statue of him in marble in the

Jesus chatted with his pop (his father, not his magical bottle of carbonated sugar water) a few days ago. He asked when he could become an editor of The Medium.

His father didn t know. I do.

That makes me more intelligent? Perhaps. One thing is for sure: if you have had at least one article printed this semester, you re eligible to vote in the upcoming elections on Wednesday, December 8th, 9:30 PM, LSC 113 (regular meeting times, folks).

bay near Samana. We are going to call it The Colossus of Sosa. Marguerita explained.

Experts expect more sightings of Sammy in inanimate objects as his popularity grows even greater.

The plate of beans is currently on a 40-city tour of the United States.

Yemen Declares War on US

By Christopher Taylor MEDIUM STAFF

SAN’A—The Aden-Abyan Islamic Army, a small revolutionary band that has for years attempted to overthrow the oppressive oily dictatorship that rules Yemen, declared war upon the United States Sunday, claiming President Clinton made, “insulting comments about the Yemeni people.”

Headed by Zein Al-Abidine alMihdar, a would-be founding father figure that recently escaped from the lethal clutches of the Yemeni-backed British government, the Army 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 plans to “burn bridges” and “cause 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 automatic teller machines to 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 malfunction.” Their plans also 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 include “laughing at Hillary” and 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 “congratulating Sammy Sosa on 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789 his winning smile.”

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As the semester merrily hurdles towards the finish line, a number of students are asking where they can procure some of that nifty HamBone for their loved ones Christmas joy. The answer? Your grocers freezer, next to the Hot Pockets and the (whisper) Pillsbury Toaster Strudel.

NEW YORK A waterlogged rodent of the genus sewera mauled eighty thousand humans before engulfing the entire city into its acid-filled digestive tract. Ten residents reportedly survived the ordeal unscathed by coating themselves in Scrubbing Bubbles just before ingestion. The survivors warn that though the rat is not alive now, it managed to eat New York while dead, and its threat to have a Long Island Iced Tea before bed is therefore not idle. Be forewarned.

Solve this and you’ll win a prize! ∫ sin(x2) dx A recently exhumed Margaret Thatcher commented, “These hoodlums deserve no justice. String ‘em high with my rotting intestines!”

Attorney General Janet Reno reiterated, “I am not now, nor have I ever been, a Wookie,” before dubbing the Army “full of shit” and “completely without sincerity.”

Few Americans expressed concern, or even interest, in the oncoming war, leading Clinton to exclaim, “See? It doesn’t matter what I do. I am invincible!”

The Bill of Rights A Ten Week Series Week Seven

It has been shown with startling frequency that the citizens of the United States of America often are not aware of, or do not understand, the implications of our Constitution. Therefore, in a weekly series, The Medium is proud to present, the United States Constitution s first ten amendments, also known as the Bill of Rights, in sequential order.

Amendment 7: In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

FEATURES

You ve got to get up to get down!

Wednesday December 1, 1999

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 aggressive. These mother fuckers think they can fuck with my friends? They think I’m 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 some kinda joke? Well, no more, THE MAN is back and this bitch was going to find 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 this out firsthand. No more, well thought out plans and subtly, time for random 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 gratuitous VIOLENCE. “Where is she Ping, tell me now!” Johnny was holding poor 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 Ping a good 3 feet off of the ground. The experience had the effect of shaking him out 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 of his drug induced haze. “ARC! ARC! She in the ARC…she been there for long time, 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 Aedria called Lord Valoran’s dick Excalibur because it was truly as awe-inspiring and 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 that where she teach her students…they stoned out their minds and worship her as 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 grand as King Arthur’s sword. She took his great sword into her expert hands and put 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 their God. They go nuts long ago. They die for her, you must be careful.” Johnny 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 her full, dark lips to it. She was forced to learn to deep throat because it was the only 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 threw him at the ho cowering in the corner of the lab, frightened by Johnny’s awesome 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 way that she could get a decent amount of his shaft into her mouth. She worked his 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 fury. “Have fun with your whore you little prick shit. I’ll find her myself…and God help 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 cock slowly, for she knew that it was the best way to get him to cum buckets, which is 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 her when I do.” John Taurus entered Murry Hall…Captain Hetero exited it. The bus 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 exactly what she wanted. She gripped his dick with a kind of passive-firmness, letting 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 ride to the Arc seemed interminably long. He watched the warily, never knowing what 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 his veins and ripples glide easily back and forth beneath her hand. She looked up at him 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 kind of freak would exit from the buildings he passed. He had no other wish than to get 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 with her dark green eyes. He was on his way to where she wanted him to be. Here was a 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 out of Busch, but he had a job to do…Melissa…he had to see Melissa…but first…

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 great leader of men, who’s soldiers would follow him through the gates of Hades itself, 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 The ARC’s hideously modern architecture gleamed under the noonday sun. Cap Het 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 and she had him quite literally in the palm of her hand. She could play him like a 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 strode purposely through the doors. He was going to beat somebody, anybody. His 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 piano…or to be more exact, like a flute. She drilled her tongue hard right underneath the 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 original plan was to sneak in, but now, he wanted attention, he wanted to cut his way 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 base of his cockhead, his most sensitive spot. She increased her pace and pumped him 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 through wave after wave of guards. All he found was…well…he looked around. “Bio 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 harder. She massaged his balls gently, as softly as she touched herself when she was 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 majors”, he thought, “hundreds of them. They look like shit…they must have gone 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 away from him. She ran her thumb up and down between his huge testicles the same 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 months without bathing.” He grabbed one and lifted him to his feet. “Tell me where 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 way she ran her thumb across her clit. The thought of her own masturbation wade her 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 Zellwigger is…now.” He vaguely pointed upstairs and then went back to reading his 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 pussy even wetter. She had to male him cum soon so that she could get what she 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 molecular bio book as if it were a signed copy of the bible. Cap stepped over the 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 wanted. She decided to give up on style and simply jerk him off into her waiting mouth.

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 bodies of half conscious students, taking note of the many conversations that revolved 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 She sucked hard on his head and jerked him off with authority, in a few seconds receiv123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 around Zellwigger’s unsanctioned findings; “unsound theoretical experimentation” is 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 ing her just reward, a mouth full of warm semen. She held it in her mouth for a second, 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 what Lawrence called them. “They think she’s a God the way they’re talking about her.

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 savoring the flavor…and decided she did not like it at all. She ever-so-slowly ran her 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 A Scientific God…but she must be insane…to inspire all of this madness. I almost 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 mouth down the impressive length of his cock, coating it with his own juice. She got up 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 envy her force of character…look at the effect she’s had on these once normal, if geeky, 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 and ran her hand all over it, to make sure it was fully coated. She spit the remaining bit 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 students. Cap looked in room 212…it was filled with students…and candles…and 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 into her had, and quite calmly, stuck it up her ass. She anally thumb-fucked herself while 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 pictures of famous Biologists from the past…Pasteur, they were all there. Some of the 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 Valoran caught his breath. “So my dear,” he gasped, “I suppose you want it in your arse 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 students were praying to the pictures for good grades, others were paying homage to 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 now eh? My but you Greek women are all the same.”

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 their idols, still others were sacrificing lab rats on sacrificial Bunsen Burners to appease 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 Aedria got down on her knees and presented her beautiful, round, fully-packed ass 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 the MCAT Spirits. And there amongst a group of Honors Students, crouching like 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 up for his inspection. “Well, you know, when our men like doing something, they want 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 some diabolical Pharmaceutical Shaman, was Elizabeth Chen.

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 to do it all of the time. After a while, we get used to it. Now come over here and fuck me 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 “Captain Hetero…” her voice was like what you would expect from a snake should it 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 in the ass before thy prick dries off.” Well, who can refuse a command like that? Valoran 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 ever grow vocal chords. She was wearing a necklace of finger bones from the skeletons 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 rubbed his still-slimy dick against her expectant asshole, and crammed it into her, much 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 they keep in the labs. She played with a femur sharpened along one side into a vicious 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 to her delight…from his first thrust she came, the anticipation of his forceful thrusting 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 looking knife. It was obvious she was high off her ass on God knows what. She was 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 almost bringing her to orgasm. The sound of his hips slapping into her ass carried 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 probably normal once, but she moved to the Bronx as a child, and got involved in the 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 outside to where some of his best soldiers where guarding his tent. “Well”, said one 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 drug trade there. Ever since she’s been focused on drugs and nothing else. She’s got 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 guard, they’re at it again. “Yes”, said the other, “they most certainly are.” “Should we 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 every Pharm major at R.U. working for her in some way. The Head of the entire Drug 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 tell anyone?” said the first guard. “Who are we gonna tell? Everybody knows.” replied 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 Trade in Central Jersey. Pure evil hiding behind the most innocent face ever seen. “She 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 the second guard “You have a point there. So what should we do?” “The same thing 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 knew you were coming Captain Hetero. She wants you to come, it’s the only reason we 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 we do every time they get to romping like this,” he said, getting up, “we should watch.”

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 have not killed you yet. She is brilliant man, her mind works on another level that mere 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 “Capitol idea old boy, capitol idea.” answered the first guard. And so, Melissa vicari123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 humans like you and me cannot comprehend. She’s got a plan man, and that fascist 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 ously butt-fucked a former incarnation of the Hetero Hero. “This”, she thought, “is 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 non-scientist Lawrence does not even know it man. He is a fool, and he will pay when 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 definitely going into my diary.

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 the Professor has her way. Her mind leaves her body sometimes man, because her 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 *** 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 consciousness is to enlightened for this sick world. I am lucky, she let me see, let me 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 Johnny spent the night with the Japanese whore (Whose name happened to be Diku 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 see her formulas, her theories are brilliant man! She knows the carbon atom inside and 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 Sukalota) woke up in the morning feeling relaxed and very, very drained. She had a room 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 out man, she has mapped the double helix in her head man, she is the sane woman in 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 in the dorms near the student center, one of the most luxurious ones I’d ever seen (next 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 the insane world man. And when she breaks the chain, sees the whole thing, the 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 to my own on Easton) where he slept on a bed of the finest black silk. “Damn”, he 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 nucleic acids and the ribosome and the atoms and neutrons, when she sees it all man, I 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 thought, “ho’in must pay pretty good.” He had been on Busch for two days, and the 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 am going to be right there to make the most addictive drugs known to mankind, that 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 squalor and depravity was starting to get to him. Contrast of extreme poverty and 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 bond to DNA and make the urge for my drugs a biological imperative. From then on, no 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 extravagance was shocking, like driving through Atlantic City towards the boardwalk, 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 one will stop us man, no one.

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 only more so. He checked his email from her computer. The first message he got was 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 “Well, that’s all well and good Pharm Phreak…” Johnny was in no mood for the 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 from Melissa’s father, Ed O’Hare. It went something like this. >> John, Melissa told me 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 crazed ramblings of a stoned-psycho pharm major. “But I’m shutting down this twisted 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 that you know that she is Iron Dyke, so I know it’s ok to tell you this. Two days ago 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 little operation. Starting with you Ms. Chen.” Elizabeth popped a little blue crystal into 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 when you left for Busch, Melissa was attacked by a group calling themselves FR.A.T. 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 her mouth and grinned maliciously, swinging her bone-knife around her in a graceful 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 boys. She absorbed multiple energy weapon blasts…she’s been in a coma ever since.

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 arc. “Your 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 The doctors say there’s no brain activity, but I’m going to fly the best neurologists in 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 welcome to try Mr. 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 the world in if need be. We’re going to get her back. She’s at St. Peters…visit when you 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 Hetero, you are 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 can. Edward O’Hare. << Needless to say, Johnny didn’t take this well at all.

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 more than welcome 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 “PIIIIIING!!!!”

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 to try.”

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 In a dark rarely used lab of the Chemistry building Ping was sucking on some light 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 blue crystals with the ho he had last night. Turns out she was also a Chem major who 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 (Author John 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 paid her bills with her home grown drugs and a little ho’in on the side. Unfortunately, 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 Minus can currently be seen in the movie Minus Man. Go see it jerk!-features editor) 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 his little hippie session was broken up when Johnny found them. “Ping get up…we’re 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 finding Zellwigger NOW. I have a little aggression to get out.” Johnny was enraged.

123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234 He had been soft on these punks. Hanging around Melissa had made him soft and non123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234

Savages

by John Minus

Wow! The Medium makes my hands feel so silky and smooth!

Is this your Mom? Well I had sex with her! (oh no wait, that’s my mom)

Another good reason to write for The Medium.

ELECTIONS NEXT WEDNESDAY

The Medium

Wednesday December 1, 1999

Jimmy, my ass hurts!

Don’t Do Drugs

Erogenous Androgynous

by Jacob Ross

by Chris DeSarno When I was a lad I wanted nothing more than my very own Teddy Ruxpin doll (what kid didn’t?!). After days and days of begging and pleading my parents, they finally broke down and got me one. Something was wrong with my Teddy, though. My parents mentioned something about getting the expensive toy half-off. The homeless man on the street corner who sold it to my parents said it was “defective” but that really didn’t matter to me. I had a Teddy Ruxpin and that was all I cared about. It didn’t matter that instead of telling me wonderful stories like the I’ll lick other kids’ bears it would just your ass try to get me hooked on for four various drugs. I was happy dollars...

I need my Teddy was special. Only the cash! he hated it when I called him Teddy and would burn me with cigarettes if I didn’t refer to him as “Hempboy.” God knows he loved his marijuana...

I tried to “just say no” to Teddy (or, rather Hempboy) but he just wouldn’t hear of it. “Here man, drop some of this acid I got.”

Finally I caved-in and took the acid (which was in fact hydrochloric acid, not LSD). I suddenly felt a strange feeling as my internal organs were quickly dissolving. “That’s natural,” said Hempboy. “Just enjoy the feeling.” The pain soon became quite unbearable and I noticed a hole growing in my stomach where the acid was eating away. “HOLY SHIT. I’M GOING TO I’m a crack FUCKING DIE!” I screamed. “Oh shit.” addict. It’s really quite said Hempboy “You’re having a bad trip. tragic.

Quick, someone knock him out.”

Hempboy then proceeded to beat me unconscious with an aluminum bat.

Sometimes I’d laugh (or, rather cry) myself to sleep ... asking the gods above why my talking bear had to be so different. The other kids didn’t have bears who took bong hits all day and listened to Cypress Hill ... why did I?! But, looking back I wouldn’t have had it any other way. My bear had personality. He had style. He was my friend.

It was only years later that we discovered that my Teddy Ruxpin doll was really a hairy midget named Umberto who one night sold all our possessions for crack and a plane ticket to Mexico. Hempboy always was a prankster. Good one, Hempboy. Good one.

(OOOOh man! Reading this story made me ejaculate! Keep up the good work.-Fran L.)

There are more ways to love And more things to love And more shades of love than we know of.

There are more ways to wink And longingly link, There are more ways to sink than you’d think.

There are more ways to ride, To slide and to glide, More ways to subside than we’ve tried.

More ways to undress, Confess, de-repress There are more ways to bless than you’d guess.

There are more ways to cleave, To weave and unweave, There are more ways than we can conceive. . . . . . . . .

There are more ways to love Than we know of.

Is this poem good? No, I don’t believe it is. But clown wig is...-ed.

WIGS: NEVER FORGET We must never forget that men are still fighting, and dying for the right to wear wigs. As the struggle continues, let us never forget our fallen comrades, who fought the good fight only to come up short. In the name of freedom, in the name of justice, and in the name of the lord, let us wear our wigs with dignity, grace, and respect. (please ignore the advertisement below)

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LOVE WILL TEAR US APART!

FEATURES

ARTS & CULTURE

Back that ass up

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 1 1999

1.) Have lots of food handy. A well fed woman is a happy women.

2.)Tell her whatever she wants to hear. If you don’t know what she wants to hear, just shut the up. It’s the safest way out of a jam.

PMS SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR fuck 3.)This is related to no.2 If she asks you any MEN questions regarding your perception of her ass, tits, or weight in general, GET Note: If you are a man in a relationship it THE HELL OUT OF is Vitally Important that you read this THERE! Trust me, it’s the article. It could save your life. only safe way out of that Gentlemen, I have some vitally important situation. news for you regarding the most dangerous, 4.)If and when you do piss physically and emotionally damgaing event that her off, wait a minimum of will or has ever befallen you. This horrific event is one hour, and then go the significant woman in your life’s mestrual cycle, back and tell her your or to be more precise, PMS. Now, women will sorry. By then everything try and convince you that PMS is worse for them should be cool between than it is for you. Don’t you believe it though. you two again.

They know it’s coming, it comes around pretty C u t e , N o n - P M S - 5.)Be prepared to have the regularly each month. There are medicines to woman attack you in your ing Woman help them deal with it though. There is no medimost vulnerable psychocine for the pain that comes from your woman logical weak spot with no punching you in the nuts because she provocation whatsoever. For had a dream that you cheated on her. example, “Oh so you don’t want There is no treatment to deal with her to go to the movies tonight huh? announcing to all of your friends that That’s why your mother divorced you have the smallest dick she’s ever your dad, she was probably sick seen because she’s having cramps and of your shit.” is in a bad mood. And there is no 6.)Provide her with LOTS of warning for the sudden and unexsame woman dur- medication. Obtain Demerol or pected dumping you’ll recieve because ing PMS (artists Percaset if at all possible. rendering) you didn’t compliment her on her hair 7.)Learn to anticipate her mood that to you looks exactly the same as it swings. Watch for sings; words, did the day before. So, as a public looks she may give you, odors, a service, here are some ways to deal certain time of day, anything that will give you with a woman’s cycle that will leave your relationnotice to run like Oprah to a barbecue. ship (and genitals) intact for another month.

8.)Above all just stay the hell out of her way.

Avoid her at all costs.

When the dreaded period passes, chances are the woman will forgive you for whatever she imagined you did that pissed her off.

Follow these guidelines and you should escape PMS with no lasting mental or physical scars.

Hi. I m Bud Schwartz of Bud Schwartz s Wrecking and Towing. I want to be on the Medium staff, but my lust for young Indian boys covered in Cool Whip has stopped me from being elected time and time again. but that shouldn t stop you. Elections 9:30 next Wednesday LSC 113. If you ve gotten two articles printed over the year you re a shoe in.

All positions are Wide Open. And While you re at it, send your articles about music and movies to heterofrenzy@hotmail.com

Tell em Bud Schwartz sent ya!

FORGET MUMIA

FREE O.D.B.!

Come on people, everybody s all excited about freeing this Mumia guy, but why aren t we focused of freeing the man who really needs it...the Old Dirty Bastard. Well...he isn t currently in jail now, but we all know he soon will be again. I mean, look at the string of bad luck he s had. we simply point to the month of July, a 31-day span in which O.D.B. nursed a gunshot wound,stood accused of shoplifting, had his car stolen, kicked off a club tour, and skipped out on a court date prompting an arrest warrant. Over 1998's other eleven months, he stormed the Grammy podium, saved a girl who was pinned under a car, faced deadbeat dad charges, was tossed from a Berlin hotel for hanging from his balcony naked, and found himself charged with making terrorist threats not once but twice. Also, in a move that provided the crown jewel in his newsmaker crown, he adopted the moniker Big Baby Jesus.

After all the joy he s brung the world, included giving us the greatest moment in Grammy history by scaring the shit out of Shawn Colvin and that guy she had with her, we can t let his crazy ass get locked up again.

So let s do a premptive strike and get together a movement to get Osiris out of jail the next time he s locked down now instead of later.

Dirty will be glad ya did. Cuz Wu-Tang is for the chilren.

Is this you? Come to our meeting, ‘cause sex sells!

PERSONALS Has anyone actually seen the two queers that edit these personals (only when we come out of hiding)? I saw them in the computer lab one night and they are the biggest fucking dorks on campus (yup, thats us alright).

I would actually pay for the Medium if they would put a picture of these two pig-fuckers alongside the personals (see picture in bottom, right corner). One more thing; don't fuck with Biju!

(You must have been that fat, extra-value-meal eating whale sitting next to us... Fuck you) I want the Medium guys to take turns cumming on my cunt. I love you; you're so cool and funny. Alright, so I'm a guy but I still want your cocks. Please don't be mean or I'll have to mutilate you with my diseased, vicious penis. Rob (breasthouse 2). this goes out to that big green guy at cook at Let's Make a Deal. I know its not easy being green, so I want to give you a little sucky sucky to make it a little bit easier. I want to rub my huge tits all over your incredible hulk body and make your huge purple x-man blow his cool all over me. I think you are the sexiest guy on cook. Meet me at the cook recreation center next saturday night at 8 if you think you can handle me.

TO ALL THE ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH WEARING MOTHERFUCKERS! GET YOUR RICH ASSES OUT OF RUTGERS. wE ALL KNOW AT NIGHT YOU GUYS GET OUT YOUR AF GEAR AND PUT ON YOUR VICTORIA SECRET C CUP BRAS AND PINK PANTIES AND FURRY SLIPPERS. yOU GUYS GOT TO GET A LIFE. YOU GO TO PARTIES AND HAVE TWO BEERS AND GET WASTED. OR YOU GET A BEER AT THE BEGINNING AND SIT WITH LIKE ITS YOUR DATE. yOU FUCK FAT NASTY GIRLS AND TALK ABOUT ALL YOUR CONQUESTS. WELL THEN NEXT TIME TELL THE TRUTH AND TELL EVERYONE YOU CLIMBED MT EVEREST. NEXT TIME YOUR AT THE AF STORE THINK ABOUT THE LAST DICK YOU SUCKED. THAT'LL MAKE YOU SICK.

Wednesday, December 01, 1999 To those three idiots in Anthro MW6, CAC. Yeah, you know who we're talking about.Fucking, Fattie, RedFace, and the Follower. Yo, we just wunna fucking know why your face is always so fucking red. What the fuck, is that a personal thing? If you could, just write back and tell us what the fuck is up with your face.

FREAK!!!

To (face-fuck) and (bootycall) or whatever the fuck your dyke ass names are from Frelinghusen 6, what the fuck is wrong with you two fat shits?? All you do is eat each others fish all day and smell worse than a fuckin chinese market. Maybe if you werent so damn jewish you could afford real food. You stupid sluts think you are so hot when all you fuck are small mexican midgets who like fat beached whales. Your curves are not sexy! lose about 300 or more pounds and maybe you can do better than a band member!!

FUCK YOU WHORES! (That personal made fun of lesbians, the chinese, jews, mexicans, midgets. fat people, and band members... nice job!)

This goes out to that ppor excuse for a man (trunk-butt) on the third floor of Nicholas. Shut the Fuck Up! None of us here want to hear about your ugly ass beaten-with-a-stick girlfriend and her fucking soririty. By the way boatboy, you belong in a sorority cause you have an inverted pecker that enjoys exploring anal orifices. I'd rather fuck a sheep than your ugly ass mom that pays me. Go to hell and leave all of us alone you cum licking piece of shit asshole.

Love Always, you roomate B.J. To that annoying Italian ass hole in house (square-tit), second floor: please shut up. No one wants to hear your gay ass yell about everything. This house was so quiet last year without your loud girly scream. to that delicious girl jillian in davidson a. your breasts are fine your booty is bangin', i wanna fuck that straight from behind ghetto style. i wanna eat you for 2 hours straight, put some caramel all over your body and lick you until you feel the earth is moving and you get weak in knees. thats when is time for mr. ding-a-ling!!!!...is it me or does davidson a has the best undercover ass in rutgers. (gay sex sounds good to me)

hello spikey-haired cacc consultant who worked around 5am thurs morning, i'd like to fuck you if you're not busy getting my color prints for me. just don't put so much stuff in your hair, i like it messy and all over the place. just come by dell144.

(Gee...I’m not really sure if that should’ve been printed...I mean dell 144 is a pretty specific location...I hope no one feels threatened) To TITO, I love fucking you very much. I love your 8 inch and 2.5 inches wide stick of candy. It's time you let my tight ass have a taste.

--MELOCOTON (Now that’s a personal) To DJ and MALA, Embrace the notion of love as a spiritual connection that embodies the union of the heart, body, mind, and soul. When there is spiritual union, two distinct entities intertwine to become a single unit. Love is a flower - taste its sweetness.

(Love is actually nothing more than the connection of this dick in that ass) Rudimentraly, T4 is entirely too wasted. Basically, we all need to go toHurtado with Biju.

Pretty much shut your fucking face uncle fucker. Cowabunga Dude!!! (oatmeal creme pies)

to the person writing "love" everywhere, why are you doing it? it is a cute idea and makes me happy. and to the dick insulting hippies, its better then abercrombie and fitch (Boy do I have a strap on to pick with you. ...you are a fucking idiot next time keep your thoughts to yourself) To the fine Latina honey who drives the red Altima with the stripe on the side. I've been watching-waiting for you to leave that homothug from Livingston. I plan on embracing your lucious breasts and cuddling them. I'm tired of merely masturbating to thoughts of you and I. Now I shall seize the moment and have you for myself! -The Horny White Boy Smokey you fucking cocksucker. Next time you brag about aceing the bio exam, keep it to your fucking self.

Some of us don't spend every second of the day studying asshole. Nobody cares how fucking brilliant you are, so shut the fuck up you balding piece of shit.

I love the boys from Alpha Phi Get Some Ass. I want all of your bodies,especially the ones on Livingston.

To those crazy guys in Little McCormick. You must dance for us again...

This Shout Out Goes to the guys who live in the Crew House.

You all are fuckin pussies. Your parties suck, almost as much as your girlfriends suck our dicks every night when you can't hack it! Go to Hell. You think you guys are so fuckin hot, you're not. Get a reality check, and a brain along with that. (ewww...this personal was written by a girl...and she has a penis!!!)

This mesaage is for Steve and Shawn in Quad 3 House (penis-pop)! You guys are fucking hott as hell! I don't know what Armenian is, but I am willling to try it. Shawn you are so hott, and I want your body, especially your big fat cock in my ass!

Steve I'll suck your enormous johnston while your roomate slams me doggystyle. I hope you know who I am because I see you all the time, and I am not joking! Until then boys, I'll be dripping wett in my dreams.

(An Armenian is a toad that sucks cock all day long) To that sexy white boy in the Starkey's. I want you to gimme some sugar, and you can stick it where it's nice and tight (the pooper). We can do it on top of my German car. Yeah, see you in the parking lot baby.

(Get it... He’s hiding as a toilet... and she doesn’t see him)

Jay pulls a fast one on that sexy Mike

Wednesday, December 01, 1999 To the people jackhammering outside of silvers apartments at 7 AM: Please be considerate enough to take your jackhammering elsewhere. I can't take it anymore. Next time you are out there I shall ask you to leave. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

To that fucking goofy kid kyle in our organic chem recitation on livingston, tuesday period 8: please remove the stick from your asshole. you're a fucking moron. go ahead and suck our instructor's cock and maybe have some anal sex also. But please do not give him anal warts!

To the two fuckin loud freshemn bitches of the south tower - you know who you are.

You just never SHUT THE FUCK UP - ALL DAY, EVERYDAY. We have to put up with your loud-ass mouths 24/ 7, get a clue when someone tells you to shut up in the middle of the night for screaming your stank ass mouths for no fuckin reason. Yall think you're so cute, but guess what? You're not. We hate you, everyone on this floor hates you. Get the hint? Shut up or suffer the consequences...we're plotting now. You've been warned!!!

This gos out to all the girls at (titfuck) Easton Avenue (ESPECIALLY Jacqui, Annie, and Nicole). You girls are SO HOT! Everytime I walk to Jimmy's, I look foward to passing your house, hoping to see one of your beautiful faces. You girls make my day, (ACTUALLY my week). Meow!! Meow!!

Nicole, my little pusy cat, you are so fiesty and wild. Jacqui, your beautiful, bouncy curls make me want to jump all over you. By the way, you are one SEXY scarecrow. Annie, my little ballerina girl. I just want you to dance your way into my heart. You three girls are so HOT, I just want you to notice me and say Hi the next time I look by. You'll know who I am!!! Your eight other roomates aren't so bad themselves. Love your faithful admirer Another pathetic loser.

To that hot brunette (grey sweats on, silk wraps or something on those beautiful hands.)at the EE bus stop on Cook @ 3:00pm on saturday 11/ 13. You were one hell of a hoottie and I'd like to get your number. Reply via medium to AznKing

If only you knew what happened in Scott 120...

(chode: a penis that is as wide or wider than it is long.)

To my dearest triple nipple bunny on Voorhees 2, I don't care if you've been sleeping with another guy/girl. I miss you more than ever, and seeing cum stains on your bed has only strengthened my feelings. I may be a decade older than you, but you know I what I can do with the mighty chode! Your bitchboy, Shopright King. P.S. Are you sleeping with that Chef guy and if not why do you talk about his chocolate salty balls?

This is to the girls in Busch Dining Hall on Mon. the 15th that were carrying the fish around.

Why the hell were you carrying fish in a bag to dining hall?

Did you have to slash them in as guests? Reply to Fishboy via the Medium.

(The fish were recently caught in the olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Raritan by the afor mentioned girls. Being as that the river is polluted and the cause of several cancers prominent in the area, the fish were rejected by all local eateries. Unable to sell the fish anywhere else, the girls decided, in a last ditch effort to get something of value for their fishing efforts, to trade it with Rutgers University for a hit from its stash of crackcocaine. Do not eat this fish.

It can be identified by its putrid smell, worse than that of Douglass snatch, and the odd shade of brown it turns, similar to that of Douglass snatch, when it is in contact with actual water. And no, they were not guests as they are merely a horrible manifestation of nature gone awry, similar to Douglass snatch.)

To that faggot ass dutch homo tennis player Martijn from (hootchie-land), do you talk about anything else besides tennis or piano? stop talkin about how much better the weed in holland is cuz u probably never even smoked weed in your life you toolbox!! Too bad you couldn't get laid from that bitch you were trying to hit up on, but you have zero game--maybe your best hope at some sexual gratification is to put some hot wax on a tennis ball, turn it sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass. Also, if you ever play the piano again in the lounge, i am gonna take your rackets and smash them over your arian face!!!!!!

PERSONALS

To those tennis kids that live in To whoever found my CD's at To Johnny "just 'cause you're Easto Ave APts., i used your the Hale Center on 11/12 not fucking ass doesn't make bathroom the other day, and i PLEASE return them. $$$RE- you gay", every one on the team couldn't help but rrealize that WARD$$$ email me at knows that you are a hot monkey loving fairy. one of you is the haireiest go- rdk23@eden rilla fuck i have ever seen.

(The best way to deal with a Whats up with all those fuckin To that hot sexy muscular stud hot monkey loving fairy is to with the shaved head and the hair knots in your shower. Get have butt sex with him...in the someone to clean that shit up gorgeous eyes in my History butt) and get some electrolysis for Class TTH4 at Van Dyck...you know who you are!

You always fHeather is my goddess. All yourself, you fuckin wear spikes and chains, and you must worship her. She can arangatang!!! dress in all black. I want you Post Thanksgiving Factoid: so bad! Ignore that little blonde fly, she can fly, she can fly!

"Squaw" actually means "cunt" chick that's always flirting with Even if she canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hold her in Mohawk! Therefore, one you, come take me! I want to liquor. Thanks for ralphing all over my bathroom, you CAN have an orgy by putting have your baby! grappa-soaked Commuter! her finger in the squaw....

We love you Big Cock DeSarnoC.

Personals: unethical abuse of freedom for your amusement (an open letter to the Rutgers community) I have to admit, I read The Medium every week last year and always got a good chuckle out of the idiotic and absurd personals. It never occurred to me that these personals have very real effects on people's everyday lives -- until I was written about.

"To that dead squirrel on college ave. by the post office: why the fuck did you die right in the middle of the sidewalk. next time haul you fat little squirrel ass over to the grass where you can decompose in peace without disturbing every one around you. you're so fucking disgusting."

I was appalled. Who was this asshole to tell me where I could and could not decompose?! He didn't even have the nuts to tell me this to my face but instead had to hide behind that fucking rag, The Medium. It didn't stop there. As is usually the case, stupidity begets stupidity and more jackasses wrote in to complain about my final resting place (some even claiming that I was their pet). Cowards and jackasses! All of them!

That is why I will be leading the fight to get rid of the personals -- a stupid service through which anyone, anywhere can have a very loud voice to say whatever they feel (no matter how retarded).

It has been said that freedom of the press belongs to those who own one. Of course, that's the way it should be -- media should be left in the hands of a very small, able percent of the wellrespected community, not some fucko who can't string together a comprehensible sentence. Who the hell do the editors of The Medium think they are to give this voice to any ignorant shit on the street?! That's an abuse of freedom. To quote my hero, Michael Bagan, "writing in anonymity is a luxury -- one that must be treated with respect." Damn straight, brother.

Some say the obscene, indecent, racist, and downright worthless statements that you'll find in the personals are not meant to be taken seriously. That, somehow, they are all just a big joke. Ha Ha, fucking Ha Ha!!!!!! The editors'll say perhaps I'm a bit thin-skinned. I'm a fucking dead squirrel!

Of course I'm insecure and lack the good self-image it takes to shrug things off. The point is: insulting, racist, ignorant, crude, and hurtful opinions go away if we ignore them, right?

What makes the personals even worse are the editorial comments those two witless jerks interject. (Yeah, good job, guys. Like it takes a lot of effort to point out Rutger's dangerously obese band. Nice observational skills. A blind man could have told you that.) All I can do for those two bozos is pray for their damned souls. These are the same shits who hide behind the first amendment.

Some say the best way to judge a society is to look at its bathroom graffiti ... that that's where you'll find real truth. Bullshit. If you can't say something nice, then shut the fuck up, Rutgers.

-- the dead squirrel (channeled through Chris DeSarno) p.s. To Jason and Mike, personals editors. Me and the Campbell girls are gonna jump ya. Better watch your back, fools.

Wednesday, December 01, 1999

I reckon you didnt come here for gold, so quit mining my asshole

The Rules: 1) Personals should be sent to medium_personals@email.com.

2) Administrative matters should be sent to mmolino@eden.rutgers.edu or jsp51@eden.rutgers.edu. Do not send personals to these addresses.

3) Try and keep personals to 50 words or less. We don’t want to read your fuckin’ life story.

4) ALL SUBMISSIONS MUST BE SENT FROM AN OFFICIAL RUTGERS EMAIL ACCOUNT. We will no longer accept any submissions from Hotmail, Yahoo, AOL, or any other account. This means that personals are NOT anonymous and that the editors know who you are. This information is kept confidential -- don’t ask for it. It will be disclosed ONLY to the proper authorities (i.e. law enforcement) if necessary to save our asses and protect our readers. So basically, you’re responsible for what you write.

5) We don't print last names, room numbers, or phone numbers so don’t even try it--not even if they're yours.

Personals that threaten the safety of a specific individual will be altered to remove identifying characteristics. We also reserve the right to modify personals that harass a specific person based on one of the following traits: race, religion, color, national origin, ancestry, age, sex, sexual orientation, disability, marital or veteran status. We do NOT condone or promote harassment, but we do wish to uphold your right to free speech. To learn about University Policy on harassment, you can go to http://www.rci.rutgers.edu/%7Emsgriff/webdoc5.htm. (We must abide - otherwise we’re out of the jobs that we don’t get paid for) 6) If you have a serious and legitimate complaint about particular personal ads, contact Editor in Chief Amanda Hoffman at amandah@eden.rutgers.edu. If you're just looking for some warm apple pie, then email the_medium@hotmail.com 7) All submissions become property of the Medium. We can NOT guarantee that all submissions will get printed -we don’t have enough room to print those that aren’t funny.

8) The Medium is a very popular publication with roughly 8,000 readers. If you are interested in advertising space, please contact Heather Thompson at hthomp@eden.rutgers.edu.

to my sad hearted jewish friend josh... i hear that has filled its quota of north american jews already.. besides the fact that your not smart enough to get in.. oh well looks like you gonna have to stay in purgatory with the rest of us rutgers students. your computers sucks.

To that whore (nipple-piercing) on 3rd floor Nicholas. Stop inviting unsuspecting guys up to your room to make them eat you out. Everyone can smell your stinky cooch from here and we all know that it oozes juices cause we can all smell them. Stop being a cunt rag to all the people in the building you 17 year old cocksucking Canadian whore. Die and eat shit you cunt. P.S. Your hair looks like shit, and I hope you get deported.

(Ooohh.. thats it, I just jizzed in my pants!)

CLOTHIER FUCKIN ROCKS, to whoever wrote about the bangin 6th floor is completly right. At least we know how to fuckin party! To all those who feel the need to talk shit about anyone on floor 6, fuck yourselves real hard with razor blades (fuck me hard).

You're just jealous that you don't live here. Next time you skank ass bitches talk shit we're gonna hunt you down like the dirty ass dogs you are.

To that fat russian fuck in 252...

Turn off your cell phone before class. it goes off every fuckin lecture and you act all surprised... set it to vibrate and shove it in your ass

To that fat bitch (mochaccino) in Quad 3. What the fuck is wrong with you playing pool every fucking day. Get a fucking life. Take that pool stick out of your pussy and go to Jenny Craig. Then maybe you will get some real dick instead of riding a pool stick. But maybe not because nobody likes your fucking fat ass. Signing out Alpha Phi Get Some Ass! I want the Medium guys to take turns cumming on my cunt. I love you; you're so cool and funny. Alright, so I'm a guy but I still want your cocks. Please don't be mean or I'll have to mutilate you with my diseased, vicious penis. (I’m a big fat whore). (bring that tiny little dick of yours over to the LSC, Rm 113 Wed night at 9:30.... if you think you’re diseased now, wait till you leave!)

To that fucking kid on Cook who always got a rat on his shoulder: we hate you you stupid fuckerWho keeps a rat for a pet unless he wants to use a paper towel tube and shove it up his ass. You fucking loser I hope you get the plague!

(To that fuckin rat on Cook that always has that filth-ridden human... Why the fuck do you keep him around? The only use a human has is the occasional tasty undigested treat you can get from his colon... Corn is my favorite.) hotcakes, you know who you are. my sphincter still quivers at the thought of your beef genetalia. love, OmniRectal

Wanted: 3 hot chicks that wouldn't mind giving a hot piece of ass to 3 good old American boys with hard cocks. We're tired of beating it girls, where's the poontang at? Why can't the sluts from Campbell 2 or any sluts for that matter.. come here and give us a lapdance, we sure wouldn't mind.. And, any girls from Brigantine, we hear the "Brigantine Special" is a treat..

Respond through the personals.

(Note to possible respondants: If you want some of the previously mentioned cock, you shoud know you will first have to pry it out of the male rectum they are butt-fucking) to that sexy ass light skinned woman in Clothier 4, you are the sweetest person I know and I would love to taste that sweetness. every time I see you I want to get on my knees and please you. you are the type of person that should be made-love to. NICE and Slow. STOP going home to see your boyfriend and stay to enjoy a real man!

(What’s this nice and slow crap? I’ll bet her boyfriend rams it in her ass harder than a freight train every night..

Try that approach next time your sorry ass is trying to get a piece) True fuckin story. OK, so im laying around masturbationg to the latest backstreet boys single when this gigantic red-haired hampster breaks into my room... he shreds my expos paper and I’m all like “what the fuck” and he’s all like “suck it”..so i ate him

To that bitch that teaches earth systems in scott 123.. Who the hell do you think you are? You can go sift through new brunswicks trash you earth tone wearing whore! to John on Cook - it's disappointing to see that your sorry ass hasn't moved in with Todd yet behind CCC. i hear that you're kinda pissed at me - if so, reply and step up. Just try and sue me for 'Defamation of Character'. i'm gonna laugh at your Fu-Man Chu ass!! to that annoying ass boy who is always in my room im going to stomp you face in.... i wish you would learn how to stay in your room sometimes. get off of my roomates clit and stop sweating her.are you that scared that she wont wasnt your ugly ass anymore. thats why your bed was pissed on you fucking pervert. the next time you bother my sleep, there will be more than piss in your bed asshole!

To the girl in my Microec MT3 in BE-aud. You were wearing a blue bandana and you have chin length black hair. hook me up! I was the sleepy looking kid who hasn't shaved in a week at the test on 11/22. reply to qdogg.

To IKANOLLIE.... i talked to you online, im Jessica , 20 years old. You sound really good in bed. I want to get with you...

I'm just worried about you and this girlfriend girl...please tell me the deal with her...and i will get with you...I LOVE IKANOLLIE IKANOLLIE IKANOLLIE To those idiotic uncle fuckers on College Ave who try so desperately to sell cheap knock off "ghetto" imitation cologne.

Leave me the fuck alone, I'm tired of being approached by these cock suckers who feel good because they stick their cologne bottles up their assholes. To say you are fucking pathetic is a compliment. You "pssss" at me like you have crack or weed and what happens when you get my attention.. you try to sell me some knock off imitation cologne. You fucking shit for brains, need to get a fucking life. This goes to all the fucking Pathetic, Dumb, Monkeyfucker, Sluts and their cheap shit.

PERSONALS If I were to suck cock all day long and I swallowed so much that I had to get my stomach pumped would you still love me?

(Fran you know I’ll always love you) This goes out to that Medium editor with the rock hard abs and the scruffy little beard. You are so fooking hot and your cock is just absolutely wonderful. I say you should leave the Medium and lets see how far they go without you to carry them!!!

To that silly girl in New Gibbons I love you!!!

To that moron who goes to my Earth Systems class in Scott 123 and rubs his cock all over our professor, cut it out! The whole class hates that bitch of a professor as it is but we dont need to see your bare cock smacking her in the face. Its funny, but class might be less gross without that big cock flying around. The professor deserves to be rubbed down with a cock so maybe try going to her office hours and doing it there.

This week’s steamy debate: Bill Gate’s new hairdo - does it give you an erection????

Come to discuss, come to get a hard on, come to cum...

Livingston Student Center Rm. 113.

This Wednesday 9:30 P.M. It gives me an erection, h o w about you?

medium_personals@email.com

What’s Shakin’

The what?!

King Kong died for your sins.

I mean the messages are all there hidden in the open you just have to open your eyes and open yourself and, Oh, pen! see that the things from your childhood were sinister (even back then) remember Gumby? g-u-m-b-y. b-u-y-g-m. BUY GM -- it's the whole conveyer belt virusphilosophy penetrating our lives taking our minds and putting a fence around us and stay on your own damn side and you should learn not to be a square peg in a round hole and instead be a square hole in a round hole and it doesn't matter if you're a black hole we don't discriminate (but rather instigate) and remember to meditate after you masturbate cause we just say FUCK YOU and no offense but take offense and take a fense and shove it up your ass cause that's where you can shove your judgments as well and I am the fucking zen you read about, the buddhist monk who went to a hotdog stand and said "make me one with everything."

hi, I m the What s Shakin editor.

Wanna have sex?

The What s Shakin editor.

You know, the back page of The Medium.

The Medium has a back page?!

Whatever... I just read the personals ...

Wednesday December 1, 1999!

Uhm. Yeah.

Submit Event to DESARNOC@EDEN (you won’t even get herpes)

CHESS TOURNAMENT (Wednesday, 12/1) FREE to enter, FREE food, PRIZES for beginner, intermediate and advanced.

8:00pm in the Cook Campus Center room 202c

Find out more about womyn in AFGHANISTAN, and what you can do to help!!!

Happenings Sunday, December 5, 1999 the african new dawn broadcast on wrsu 88.7 fm (rutgers university radio) will be holding a two hour underground/independent hip-hop mix show special from 8 - 10 p.m. We will be interviewing the New Jersey rap group Crystal Lake (representing Crystal Lake Ent.) about their new project and afterwards there will be dj fusion mixing the latest underground and independent hip-hop on the turntables. we will be having call in giveaways for cds, magazines and shirts (dj line: 732-932-8800). this is also a special night because with radio ruckus and banned 4 your radio, it will be 6 striaght hours of hip-hop!! ***College Avenue Players presents*** Pendulum Facets (an original work by Josh Goldfond) Foreplay (by David Ives) Dec. 3&4 - 8:00 PM @ Scott 135 tickets available at the door!!!

MR. T WANTS YOU

Watch out, kids.

He pities the fool that doesn t take him seriously ...

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Come to the QUEER HEALTH FAIR in the RSC on Dec.3rd from 11am-3pm... FREE CONTRACEPTIVES, guest speaker AIDS ACTIVIST RIVER HUSTON!!, workshops, tabling and much more!!!

Everyone needs to kick back ...

TO COME TO A MEDIUM MEETING Wed. 9:30, LSC. Rm. 113

This page is dedicated to the king (and why the hell not?!)

Fun fact: The real Elvis was actually an Elvis impersonator

fnord