October 18, 2017 Issue

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october 18th, 2017

Volume LIV Issue VI 50¢ I'M SLIM SHADY YES I'M THE REAL SHADY ALL THESE OTHER.....

RACISTS LOSE LAST C O N N E C T I O N TO R A P MIKE HAWK PELVIS SAFETY OFFICER

NEW BRUNSWICK— This past week, rap icon Eminem debuted a freestyle against POTUS at the Video Music Awards expressing his distaste with his performance as president and quite frankly, as a human being. You can bet that fans of his who are also supporters of Trump were outraged by his freestyle where he calls the president out for his racist tendencies, lack of human empathy and for being an orange. This hot-take should come as no surprise as Eminem has been no stranger to political controversy constantly expressing his views in his artwork. In one of his most recent hits “Rap God” Slim makes reference to the killing

YA'LL Eminem pretending to kill himself because he's edgy

of a bunch of children in the Columbine shooting, later stating that it shouldn’t be seen as a big deal since these tragedies happen all the time. Apparently all of this was A-okay for his fans up until the

moment he came for President Trump. Outraged, racists took to Twitter to voice their displeasure for being betrayed by one of their own. Continued on Page 2

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

Studies Show Trump Physically Unable to Comprehend Tragedies in Developing Countires CAILLOU REAL GOOD LISTENER

WASHINGTON D.C.— Tuesday morning at 9 am, researchers revealed the results of a year-long study on Trump, concluding that the 45th President of the United States is unable to mentally process tragedies that occur in developing countries. This has confirmed theories developed by many scientists around the globe as to why someone so active on social media refuses to comment on anything both not American and not white.

QUICKIES

Guy Upset No Movie Comes Out On Coming Out Day Local Black Guy Takes Swimming Lessons, Doggie Paddles In Pussy Mick Jagger Doesn't Die Scoutmasters Find New Group of Female Boy Scouts Repulsive And Unmolestable Senile Old Woman Is Adorably Racist

An excerpt of the study describes “The subject was placed in a some of the methodology used, Continued on Page 2

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