10/29/03 by The Medium

THE

MEDIUM The Entertainment Weekly of Trick-or-Treeting With Your Wang Behind a Pumpkin

Volume XXXV, Number 8

www.themedium.net

Wednesday, October 29th 2003

In This Week’s Medium... Targum Bashing! Tips for Trick-or- A Very Sexscapades Free Candy Corn Pumpkins Smashing! Halloween Treaters

Arts Shakin’

The Personals!

Trick or Treat!

We at The Medium think you are never too old to get dressed up and go out Trick-or-Treating. We encourage all Rutgers students to do the same and have fun this Halloween!

Opinions

“I’m gonna make you bleeeeeeeeeeeeeed!!!”

Wednesday October 29th, 2003

Responses to the Sleep with The Medium Essay Contest/Concept

Fucking Shit Up: A Girl’s Guide Be Aware of your Breasts - by Aija McKenzie, Opinions Ed.

By: Michael Stanley

Since this is the last issue of October, Breast Cancer Awareness month, I decided that I wanted to say a little something about breasts. This morning, as I was in the shower soaping up my own boobies (quite possibly the best part of a girl’s shower), I thought about what to write. How can you fuck shit up when it comes to boobs? It goes back to that fucked up self esteem that gets handed to girls right around sixth grade, when either you were the early bloomer, and tagged a slut, or you were a Flatty Patty, waiting forever for your boobs. Our breasts have been oversexualized, and too much of our “breastitude” depends on what society, or the patriarchy (oooh, fuck the patriarchy) has to say. They tell you your boobs are too small, too saggy, they don’t sit right, they’re lopsided, your nipples are too big/too small/ too pink/too brown - FUCK THAT! And P.S. - guys really don’t care about what your boobs look like. When the bra comes off, they’re usually so amped up to get their hands on some boobs at all that it doesn’t even matter if the right’s a little bigger than the left. You have to own your breasts. Example: you’re on the bus, and your boob itches. What do you do? You scratch that shit, that’s what! It’s YOUR boob! You got itty bitties? Relish in the fact that you don’t always need a bra (I know some girls don’t like bras at all, regardless of boob size, but my D’s need to be supported). You got tigole-bitties? Put on a push-up bra and stop some traffic! You can do it for whoever you want, but make sure that when you look in the mirror, you can tell yourself “God, what a great rack.”

Editor-in-Chief

eic@themedium.net

In last weeks issue we decided to inform our readers of our newest contest where a lucky reader (or maybe more) will win the privilege of sleeping with The Medium. What I decided to put in my spot this week was what I chose as my favorite e-mails I’ve received this past week. I still encourage everyone to e-mail in 100 words or less why they want to sleep with The Medium. E-mail One: Experiencing lack of sex syndrome? I picked up a dozen copies of THE MEDIUM. It screams “eat me”! Ever think about jerking off to its crinkly noises? The shredding of the paper gets me all wet inside. That’s right, they’re all gonna soak my juices in their black sultry ink. If I really get into it, I’ll pull out the glue, and stick it in between my legs, my stomach, oh baby my ankles too. You like that, huh? How does my big cock feel in between your sheets? Just don’t leave your fucking residue on my hands when we’re done. E-mail Two: Dear The Medium, I’ve been pondering the many reasons why I want to sleep with The Medium since I read about your essay ‘concept’ and I finally narrowed it down to the main reason. Last night my friends and I were talking about the different colors/tastes of different guys cum (even variations from the same guy) and I realized that I want to sleep with The Medium to taste the variety of delicious flavors you guys have to offer. (Oh yeah¦.and I love waking up in the morning with that sticky covered in cum feel). Let me know when you’re available. E-mail Three: This is for the one and ONLY Beerman. You are so damn sexy. Whenever the keg’s running low, you can tap this instead. Call me, I’ll deliver anytime (day or night), just tell me where you want it. ;-) E-mail Four: Dearest Medium Assholes, Nice effort turning an excellent sketch from the State into a journalistic abortion of an article. You fucks can burn in hell. Kisses! Jenny K.

Well, as you all can see we’ve received a variety of different type of e-mails from the students here at Rutgers. Don’t worry, the contest isn’t over yet, we will still accept your entries in Sleep with The Medium Essay Contest/Concept. Please e-mail in your essay or vote for which of these four is your favorite. Send mail to: eic@themedium.net

Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8

Candy Corn Apples Balls Breasts Ears Clits

Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12

Jews Gays Avril Lavigne What’s Shakin

Cover Featuring Ryan Beckman and Jim Cortina

Cover by: Michael Stanley

MEDIUM

CONTENTS

Yesssssssssss - a Response! -a Reply to last week’s “The Liberals Hold us Back” To Vinnie G... Complimentary grain of salt included...Your tirade is almost word for word the same popular script of late. One suggestion. 1. Act ASTONISHED! The world around you is loaded with VIOLENCE! EVIL!! SEX!!! LIBERALISM!!! TERRIBLE LIFEFORMS THAT WANT TO UNDERMINE THAT GREAT AMERICAN-GEORGE W. BUSH!!! Slap those foreheads when you hear this ladies and gentlemen!!! Rap music and musicians are telling innocent children from the age of 3 to kill and eat their parents!!!! Authorities attribute these powers to Bill Clinton!!! The Superhuman role model for all people, John Ashcroft advises “prayer and guns”. News alert!! Two people admit to having sex! Say they see nothing wrong with it! Exorcisms are pending... Americans mandated to support Israel. Love of Jewish masters to be included in Constitutional amendment. Unanimous support expected. Voluntary submission and “bootlicking” offered by clergy. Rush Limbaugh “leaves” rehab early. RU Pres.Giggles Mc Cormick concurs...calls popping two Zanax, three times daily “the right thing to do”. Universal forgiveness on the horizon...Good, victorious, American Lieutenant General calls American War of Terror “crusade on Satan” ...evil vermin liberals challenge program!!! Coast to coast Bible march planned...remember the world around you is out to get you... Luv, Chris Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor Business Manager Opinions Editor News Editor GMG Editor Arts Editor Faculty Advisor

Michael Stanley James Cortina Ned Berke Aija McKenzie Jim Cortina Dan Migliore Paul Simpson Jeff Buechner

Personals Editors Michael Stanley Steve Toboz Photographer Steve Toboz What’s Shakin’ Editor Larry Cheng Online Editor Chris Holt Advertising Manager Ned Berke Staff Artist Pat McRoch Senior Editor Aija McKenzie

THE MEDIUM is the entertainment weekly of Rutgers University. All articles are the opinions of the authors and are not necessarily shared by THE MEDIUM. Submission and business deadline is noon, Sunday. The office of THE MEDIUM is located in the SAC - Cubicle N. All correspondence may be addressed to THE MEDIUM SAC Box 78, New Brunswick, N.J. 08903. This issue is dedicated to breasts! BIG! small! round! pointy! soft! hard! natural! fake! breastsbreastsbreasts!

Wednesday, October 29th,2003

“www.toughtitties.com”

Retorts to Retards Targum Chooses Trick over Treat on this Halloween By Ned Berke There’s something truly amazing about watching someone chastise one’s self. It was great watching the New York Times do article after article bashing itself over the Jayson Blair fiasco. It was hilarious watching Rush Limbaugh stand in front of microphones, beads of sweat collecting on his leathery face, admitting that he, yes - Rush the righteous - was addicted to drugs. When I was in seventh grade I watched as a kid banged his head against a wall for 45 minutes after getting rejected by what would have been his first girlfriend. He hit his head against the wall at least 30 times a minute. That’s 1,350 times he hit his head. I think it may have been a world record. Now with Halloween around the bend, the Daily Targum seems to be delivering trick over treat as it attempts to pull a similar flagellation act. Over the course of the semester the Targum has been printing articles and letters to the editors confronting its own inadequacies. There has been over half a dozen of them. It’s great to watch. However, the real trick the Targum is trying to pull is on the readers. The two main issues that have concerned the Targum and its readers are its coverage and bias of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, and its insufficient coverage of Livingston College affairs. It’s no secret that the Targum, overall, is heavily biased towards the Israeli side of the conflict. In a letter to the editor entitled “Questioning justifications for democracy” a reader responds to an article concerning professors protesting Israeli speakers. He notes, “Half of the article was actually about the statement; the other half was Hillel’s opinion about it. In the same issue there were more than five pages dedicated to advertising the ‘Israeli Inspires’ event and rightwing Zionist beliefs. That’s about 14 percent of the whole newspaper.” He points out that this is a pattern which occurs too much in the Targum when he says that they report on the issue with a “less-than-respectable degree of fairness,” a concern that protesting professors also had. It may be that the Targum panders to the “right-wing Zionist[s] because they provide so much revenue in advertising. Or maybe they’re just assholes. The other issue the Targum faces is its lack of coverage of Livingston College. In a letter to the editor entitled “Newspaper falls short of serving U. community” (Note that the Targum, if I’m not mistaken, writes the headlines to the letters. In this case they’re pointing out their own pathetic failure with no attempt at redemption), LCGA President Greg Ordun says, “The educational value of the Targum is more than just running a paper - it is about educating and supporting the Rutgers community. Unfortunately, the Targum has seemed to disregard this as a significant mission.” He chastises the paper further for disregarding a large portion of its constituents. This is funny because this past February, when a new editorial staff was elected at the Targum, managing editor Danielle Carmona “stresse[d] the need to diversify the content of the paper and better represent the readership. ‘I want to make an effort to reach out to all of the campuses and colleges,’” she said. The Medium’s favorite Retard, university editor Carmen Cusido, stated her hopes to “diversify the coverage and appeal to all of the constituents.” Well, you fools, you’ve failed. Miserably. Now, while I do enjoy watching the Targum castigate itself, there are two things I’m worried about. One is the fact that they’re doing my job. No comedian ever likes it when they’re beaten to the punch line, and, similarly, no jerk like me likes to be beaten to the bashing. The second thing I’m worried about is this trick they’re attempting to pull that I mentioned above. I’m willing to bet that after printing articles critical of their own paper the Targum editor-in-chief Chris Lang said to himself, “Oooh! Look at us - we’re balanced! We’re self evaluating! We’re professional!” Horseshit. Any Alcoholics Anonymous member will be proud to tell you that admitting the problem is only one small step on the road to recovery. The Targum believes, as is evident by their complete lack of change and improvement, that admitting guilt is equivalent to being better. In all the cases I mentioned earlier, improvements were made. The Times hired an ombudsman (kind of like a public relations guy bent on improving a newspaper), Limbaugh’s in rehab, and the head-bashing kid - well, he’s gay now so he no longer has to worry about girls. The Targum is going to skip that step. They’re still going to be lazy, horrible, unfair, and douche-oriffic. Now, however, they’re going to think they’re great and fair just because they published articles and letters critical of the paper. Good work guys.

Editorials Editorials A Gay Guy Complaining, What’s New?

By Julius Johnson I know that throughout this whole rant, or whatever the hell it is, I’m going to sound like a whinny little gay bitch, but I can’t really help that so here it is. Granted, I’ve only had two sexual encounters of the gay sort, but I’ve already or finally figured out my error, the thing that makes me feel like a shitty Disney movie reject. You know the type of Disney movie where the annoyingly sweet boy meets the annoyingly sweet girl, and they spend the movie falling in love. Oh fucking God, I hate those movies so much. But the reason that I hate those damn movies is simply because I am a pathetic little jealous gay boy. I want that sweet little period of courting, dating, and the romantic first kiss after the third date or so. Well, as we all know, it seldom turns out like that. It starts out as: Person A: “hey I like you, you’re kind of cute.” Person B: “you’re not so bad yourself.” Person B: “do you want to hook up?” Person A: “sure!” And it ends up as, Person A: “hey, I really enjoyed that, can I have your number?” Person B: “umm, I don’t really use the phone, but email is good.” Yeah, I don’t really like that feeling of dejection or the act of dejecting. I’ve come to the conclusion that sex without some deeper underlying connection only serves to make me feel like a user (my first sexual encounter) or a cheap one night stand (my second and most recent sexual encounter). I haven’t played the field too long, but I have to say that this whole thing is bullshit. Everyone trying to fuck the cutest thing, and only if they are desperate, the not so cutest thing that they’ve ever seen is so sickeningly superficial. I admit that, yes, at times I can be just as superficial as the next person, but when I realize that it is happening I smack myself and say, “look in the fucking mirror you stupid prick.” So, I think that I am on the verge of making a resolution. Yes, I’m making a promise (yes, its sappy, deal with it) to myself, that the next time I meet a guy that I like, and one that likes me, I will go out on a few (three or more) dates before I go straight to the bed like some cheap hooker at Mardi Gras ( I exaggerate greatly, I’m not cheap, or at Mardi Gras) in order to get to know him, and have him get to know me on a deeper level. Its always true that a person’s personality can either make them more or less attractive, so if I’m not in love at first sight, then that just gives me an opportunity to get to know the guy before we go any further, and vice versa. So, have I succeeded in sounding like a whinny little bitch? Probably so, but I don’t really give a fuck. So if you agree with me, then that’s great. If you don’t agree with me, then once more, I don’t really give a fuck.

Bring your boobs to a Medium Meeting! Tonight at 9:30, Beck 003 on Livingston , let’s all be aware of our breasts! And don’t forget - send your submissions to Opinions@themedium.net!

News

“Q. What has huge jowls, chases cars, and likes to sniff crotches?”

Wednesday October 29th, 2003

Scary Halloween Camping Trip to Queens By: Sir Brian of Cook College, Son of Mr. Dwane “We’ve decided that instead of looking to folklore and the superstition for terrifying excitement, we’re going to look to criminals and gang bangers. I mean there probably is no such thing as ghosts and these gangsters in the inner city are so much scarier,” explains Max Freelong, who is in charge of organizing the camping trip. The camping trip is to take place on the night of Halloween, Oct 31st, in an alleyway next to a crack house in Queens, NY. Mr. Freelong promises a night of eerie fun. “We’re going to toast s’mores, listen to scary rap music and tales of famous rappers getting arrested and we’ll sit silent in our tent listening to the sound of scary ghetto slang. We promise that on this camping trip you’ll see something scary, like maybe a mugger or some guy with a do-rag on!” RU students and officials are very skeptical over the upcoming camping trip because of the disastrous camping trip in the inner city last year, because two students were mugged and another student was killed. “I went on the camping trip last year and it was scary. I think I may have seen 50 cent! He has bullet wounds ya know, but for some strange and ghastly reason he just won’t just die! And I think I saw Snoop Dogg. He would have foshizzled my ass (laughs for much too long for such a crappy joke) but some kids got hurt.” Max says that this year he has taken extra precautions to prevent anyone from getting hurt. “They’re (gangsters) afraid of loud noises-I’ve read up on this. If you happen to encounter a violent ghetto thug just look him in the eye and growl as loud as you can. There is a 20% chance that this will intimidate him and an 80% chance that he’ll kill you, but that’s what makes it so scary! They’re also afraid of fire. So, I figure that if a gang comes along we’ll just clang some pots and pans, growl and scare them away with the fire. There really is nothing to worry about.” Fanglor Resibond is skeptical over the camping trip because last year he didn’t have such a good time. “I’m never doing that again. This group of kids came and said that our tent was on their gang’s turf. So, instead of just moving, Max and these guys just start screaming and clanging on pots. One of the kids started to growl in one of the thug’s faces. They got mad and started to throw punches. Max and the rest of the kids ran in the tent giggling, while I was left outside. I got beat up pretty bad that night. I don’t know why I went. It was such a dumb idea.” Despite the skepticism, the trip is scheduled for Halloween weekend. Max is still taking new recruits for his scary camping trip. The group will be meeting in Scott Hall room 203, Thursday night at 8 pm. People coming to the meeting are advised to bring “scary rap music” to set the mood for the camping trip. Sir Brian of Cook College, Son of Mr. Dwane is much too long of a name. Just look at it. You probably couldn’t even say it five times fast without being like, “Sir Brian of Cook College, Son of Mr. Dwane. Sir Brian of Cookage Coll, Son of Major Payne.” I mean, it’s just a silly damn name.

“If I concentrate hard enough, maybe this spring water will become a beer,” thought Stainey. Well if you concentrate hard enough you can come up with a funny news article. Once you do, send it to news@themedium.net.

Mark my words, getting head on Halloween is much better than candy! Poor Ryan, he only got Reese’s. Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? The USA Patriot Act Edition By: Michael Stanley ACME Super-Agent The once popular kids TV show "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" is now back, recreating itself in the year 2003. Carmen is back and fiercer then ever featuring her new line of V.I.L.E. (Villains International League of Evil), cronies. The game features US War Criminals such as Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, Satan, and even Canadian pop-princess Avril Lavigne! In the game you are the newest of the USA's own ACME crime fighting team and your goal is to hunt down the baddies while finding their clues and inputting the info into your own Palm Pilot V. The game has been updated to include cell phones, text messaging and the Internet, a large leap from the gadgets of the last Carmen games. One of the most interesting features is that you can play the game in a multiplayer mode to hunt down the criminals one by one until you're chasing after the leader of V.I.L.E. Carmen Sandiego. One of the most noticeable changes in this update of the past child favorite is that the warrants which were once needed to arrest a criminal are much loosely supported due to the USA Patriot Act. In the previous games the point of the game was to gather information to obtain a warrant, and then track down the evil-doer. If you had the incorrect name on the warrant the villain was set free. However in CS: USA Patriot Act, you can choose to gather information on the criminals or simply find a suspect and arrest him on acts of abetting terrorism or laundering money to a terrorist organization, no more losing time to incorrect warrant information. When you find the criminal, or person you chose to arrest it's easy to find grounds to arrest them, the new interface allows you, the ACME agent to plant drugs, weapons and documents on the now guilty parties. CS: USA Patriot Act also allows the opportunity of pulling over large SUV Vehicles and arresting the drivers for supporting terrorism by driving vehicles that do not sufficiently use gasoline. The game also features a new and improved theme song by Rockapella, the group who coined the well known theme song named "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego". The best and most amazing feature of this new game is that it features President George W. Bush as the head to ACME; he frequently calls in to check up on your progress and gives hints on how to find or arrest the hunted V.I.L.E. agent. When asked for comment President Bush said "Carmen Sandiego has always been a thorn in the side of the United States since her escape from Alcatraz in 1988. She's stolen various precious artifacts, and she will now finally be charged with her various crimes. With the new edition of her game we can finally capture Carmen Sandiego, the mother figure of Al-Qaeda and end her reign of power." President Bush later proceeded to speak back to his computer when he signed onto America Online and was greeted with "Welcome, you've got mail!” (Michael Stanley is a Rutgers College Junior double majoring in Economics and Spanish and currently has the highest possible ranking in the new exciting Carmen Sandiego game. He also has the power to use the USA Patriot act as he wishes.) Editor’s Note: The preceeding parentheses contain information written by Michael Stanley. Generally, the NEWS editor is responsible for the blurbs, but in this case, I’ll make an exception. I’m not sure why, though.

Wednesday October 29th, 2003

“A: You might have guessed a dog, but the answer is Peggy. Bow-wow!”

News

Tips for Trick or Treaters By: Tie Adeline Public Safety Expert Rutgers Police officials are concerned with the upcoming holiday. Rutgers has a history of Halloween injuries and casualties. “It seems like every November 1st you open the paper and read about some poor college kid who got hit by a car running across the street to get some candy. *Hiccup*” stated University President Richard ‘Seagram’s 7’ McCormick. This year, in hopes to stave off some of the injuries, Rutgers Public Safety have decided to send out a press release with tips to keep people safe this coming Halloween. The following are a few excerpts from this release. -

Never bring a flashlight when you go trick or treating. The lights can temporarily blind motorists who would otherwise be able to see you.

If a house gives out unwrapped or homemade treats, eat them RIGHT AWAY, you wouldn’t want them to get stale.

Dark colored costumes are less likely to distract motorists’ attention from the road, in fact, a black costume is safest of all, because then the drivers won’t see you.

Don’t do your trick or treating during daylight hours. There are generally no people home, and you may interfere with rush hour traffic.

Those suspicious looking men hanging out on the sidewalks are quite harmless, they’re just standing outside to give you candy. Sometimes they don’t have a lot of money and so they may ask you for money in return for candy.

Those ladies hanging out on the streets are OK too. They might even want to come home with you for a few hours, just to see what your bedroom looks like. Offer them some candy or a five dollar bill. Anything over fifty dollars is highway robbery.

Most of all, remember to have fun. Throw parties, and don’t forget your younger friends, they don’t want to feel left out because they’re under 21.

Police Blotter -

Three young men were arrested on charges of Theft by Deception, for an ATM PIN stealing scheme on the Cook – Douglass Campus over the past few weeks.

Several students were rounded up and beaten with wet noodles for being stupid enough to fall for an ATM PIN stealing scheme on the Cook – Douglass Campus over the past few weeks.

Wal-Mart of North Brunswick has reported that sometime in the past month, a Men’s Mountain bike was purchased for $65 rather than $99, because the purchaser switched price stickers with a cheaper bike. Don’t look at me.

The girl that looks like Natalie Portman from Douglass was arrested again this week and charged with Being Hot and STILL Not Sleeping With Me. This is a much harsher charge than the previous, and usually the fine ends up involving either a Money Shot or Anal.

Rapper Sean Paul was arrested, taken back to the police station, beaten, sodomized with a plunger, and had his pubes set aflame for the charge of Sucking Severe Musical Ass. Hey, a guy can dream can’t he?

www.themedium.net

Come to our super special Halloween Meeting. Frank & Beans will be there. So should you. There will be a special surprise for best costume, so come dressed for the occasion. There will be an even more special surprise for the first girl to show us her boobs, so come naked too. Beck 003 at 9:30 on Wednesday If you’re wondering how you can come in costume and be naked at the same time, so am I. That’s why I decided to give an even more-er special-er prize to the person who can do both and satisfactorily explain how.

GMG

“BOO! Ha, ha. Scared you!”

Quit Bullshitting Ourselves Here...

Wednesday,October 29th, 2003

A Guide to Nearby Casinos

By: Michelle Malec, the Fearsome Freshman

by The Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man

Ahhh... Rutgers University. Or better known as Slutgers U. I hear many a great thing from alumni and shit. Like this is the place to get laid and any other freaky thing you please. And I’m fucking disappointed. A. I’m not ugly; B. I’m not fat. So fuck off for all you people thinking that. What’s a bitch gotta do to get some play around here? Furthermore, one would think with the accumulation of all the fucking STDs, my fellow peers would know how to kiss, fuck, and all the other shit in between. That’s right I’ve been hearing shit from both guys, girls and I myself have some god damn complaints. How come you fuckers don’t know how to kiss? You can undo pant buttons in 5 seconds flat, you fuck anything with a warm hole and a pulse, but you haven’t learned how to kiss yet? All slopping your fat, beast- tasting tongue into my throat then proceeding to lick my face. I need to carry a fucking bib to parties. Christ people work with me. And you freshman girls out there give us a bad name. Sorry to all you boys who think blowpigs are awesome, but shit you dumb bitches; go get yours first. Don’t give unless you receive FIRST. Fucking rule of thumb you goddamn airhead bitches. Then you go around crying about having herpes all over your goddamn faces. Allow yourselves to get facials and that’s what you get. And for all you homosexuals, god bless your asses, but I can’t help you in your department. So I say it’s time that we step up and be true to our name. Not only be the most STD infested school on the east coast, but be fucking the best that we can be at what we do goddamnit! I don’t care if you computer geeks have to pipe that Mexican lady working in Brower with the 1 tooth and three strands of hair, you show that bitch what you’re made of! And if you get the clap, ain’t no thing, go get yourself some cream, I’m sure the sex was worth the pain of pissing razors. And as for us ladies, I personally know that the girls on my entire floor are a bunch of horny, freaky, nasty bitches. All you fellas gotta do is quit fucking spitting game at us. We’re not dumb we want the dick just as bad as you want the vag man! So let’s get our shit together.

You looking to make some money without working and don’t have an Italian relative to get you a job as a contractor? Do you want to throw your money away without bribing one of your TAs? Are you fat and want to fall face-down into a buffet besides Brower’s once in a while. Well, you’ll be thrilled to know you can do so at one of the many casinos less than a day away from here. I’ve tried a bunch of ‘em and thought I’d put my homework aside to share my findings with you losers, so read on! Connecticut: Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun Second in proximity to our lovely home here in Hub Shitty, the two Indian casinos in mid-CT are both an order of magnitude better than anything you’ll find in AC. These are both big resort-casinos, so they’ve got expensive rooms, shopping areas, and even Native American history museums inside them. Don’t let that scare you away, however, as you can shop around to the hundred or so smaller hotels near them and get a cheap room while riding a shuttle bus to the casinos at night. I’m a bit of a cheapskate and got a nice room at a nearby Days Inn that included some coupons to the Mohegan. Inside, these places are both very well decorated and maintained with lots of good gambling of all shapes and sizes. Mohegan has the best buffet I’ve had in years and Foxwoods even includes a few smoke-free gambling areas. And there’s no ugly people to be seen, mostly nicelooking rich folk from NYC or Boston.

This Halloween, show off what god gave you!

For the ultimate Halloween treat, come to a Medium Meeting in Beck 003 at 9:30... the witching hour! HALLOWEEN... A Girl’s Time To Get It On!!! By Aggressive Diva #1 All right ... this weekend is Halloween. You know what that means ladies, it’s the one day you can dress up like a skank and not get hell for it. Let me tell you this year yours truly went all out. There was no fucking around with my costume. I’m going to get hit on so much I’m going to wake up with black and blues and I will love it! With that said let me give you the dos and don’ts of partying on Halloween: First the DOs 1. Party where you know the brothers. This means you can wear a coat and put it in their room when you get there. Please remember that you can’t trust the people in the house to leave your stuff alone. Drunk people tend to think that stuff that is way nicer than theirs actually belongs to them. Therefore you will come back and have no coat and your ass will have to traipse all the way home sans coat and you will be cold! 2. Make sure all of your costume pieces are secured. I know we want to wear as little as possible, but how much would it suck if you were walking down college avenue and your clothes fell off? The boys wouldn’t mind but you would be mighty cold in your thong now wouldn’t you? 3. Do hook up with that guy you’ve been eyeing since September even if he is gay. In case my last article didn’t inspire you to be aggressive (and why not?) now is your time. Just walk up to him and kiss him with everything you’ve got and walk away. Chances are he won’t know what just happened so if you’re really embarrassed or you realize you kissed the wrong guy because more than one guy showed up dressed like Neo from the Matrix, you can run away and pretend like it didn’t happen. 4. Do remember that Halloween is two (or more) days at Rutgers. Whatever (or whomever) you don’t do on Friday, do on Saturday. (and by do I mean make out with not fuck. I am not a dirty hoe contrary to popular opinion)

And now for the DON’TS 1. Do not hook up with the same guy as your friends. That is just gross! 2. Don’t let random guys grope you because they look hot in their costume. We all know that everyone looks better in the dark than in the light, so imagine in the dark and in costume. Sure they look hot as hell now but the next morning in Brower when you don’t remember them but they remember you there will be a train wreck... I promise. 3. Don’t get so drunk you pass out and wake up in a costume that isn’t yours. Who cares what you did while you were out but now some bitch has your costume that you paid $32.99 for! 4. Don’t hook up with the same guy both days unless it really was that good. There are too many guys to spend all your time with just one, so if you must do it twice, make sure it’s a double header the second night! Okay that’s all I have for you this week. But on the serious side be careful this Halloween. People tend to act more fucked up on the devils play day and we don’t want any news stories on Monday on what went down over the weekend. Be safe, don’t take candy from anyone unless you know where it’s been, travel in packs, and don’t sleep with any of the frat brothers if you plan on returning to the house someday. But by all means have fun. Girls this is our time to play... Make me proud! P.S. Look for an article from me next week talking about all the crazy shit that happened over the weekend. See if I mention you

By: Dan Migliore

Aries

March 21-April 19

One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. Three, four, better lock the door. Five, six, grab your crucifix. Seven, eight, better stay up late. Nine, ten, never sleep again.

Taurus

April 20-May 20

Dressing up like a schoolgirl straight out of a hentai movie may seem like a good idea, but going to the frats like that isn’t. Unless you like roofie coolattas.

Gemini

May 21-June 20

Eleven sounds. CH CH CH CH AH AH AH AH CH CH CH

Cancer

June 21-July 22

You think Thriller was scary? The man dressed like Michael Jackson at your Halloween party actually is Michael Jackson. AGH!!!

Leo

July 23- Aug. 22

When the moon reaches its zenith, the damned souls of the dead shall arise to take you from this world to the river Styx. Where all they play is Styx.

Virgo

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

Silver shall not stop the beast that stalks you along College Ave on All Hallow’s Eve. But pepper spray might.

Libra

Sept. 23- Oct. 22

Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand. Creatures crawl in search of blood, to terrorize your neighborhood.

Scorpio

Oct. 23- Nov. 21

The Grim Reaper cometh for you. He stalks in the shadows, waiting. But heed these words: Don’t fear the Reaper.

Sagittarius

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

Damien approaches to make this world his. Chant Latin phrases to ward off evil this week.

Capricorn

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

You cannot escape the vampire you will encounter this week. Look to Mars and Buffy the vampire slayer to save you.

Aquarius

Jan. 20-Feb 18

Aqua Teen Hunger Force will kill you.

Pisces

Features

“Look for Beerman this Halloween!”

Wednesday, October 29th, 2003

Feb. 19-March 20

The moon shall be of blood when the dead will rise from the grave. The seas will boil, and the skies shall fall. But at least you’ll get some candy.

This is a little tribute to all of us who plan to get way too drunk this Halloween.

Sexscapades By Imogene Halloween 2001: I was on a mission. His name was Scott and bedding him was no easy task. I’d been trying for a little less than a year and time was running out. He was Italy-bound in a month for the semester and he still had yet to respond to any of my time tested and proven tactics. So I decided to pull out the big guns-so to speak-and fulfill every guy’s fantasy, hopefully Scott’s too. If this didn’t work, I’d just have to convince myself he was gay and be forced to move on. The perfect opportunity arose on Halloween of that year. Turns out, Scott and his roomies were throwing a huge bash and the timing couldn’t be more perfect. Fast forward to about 12:30am. Being fashionably late was crucial to my plan for two reasons: 1. Walking in alone, after the party had already started, I was provided with my own personal spotlight. 2. Getting there later left the possibility for Scott’s head to be fuzzy. His decision-making skills would be blurred, therefore, making it that much easier. (I will admit, a girl like myself, on the narrow road to victory, will use any opportunity that presents itself) So I arrive, decked out in my best costume to date, and maximum exposure is achieved. I stand in the doorway, scoping out my path to Scott, wondering what it could be that has gotten everyone’s attention. Could it be my barely there, pleated, red plaid skirt, white knee-highs and black Mary Jane’s? Or maybe it was my skintight white buttondown, left open just far enough to give the boys a teaser shot of my black lace bra? It must have been all this and the pink blow pop I licked and gingerly sucked as I reveled in all the attention in the room. Beyond this point, my plan was cake. I couldn’t make out where Scott was but I did see one of his roommates so I made my way through the crowd, completely aware of the balance thrust on me of obvious hate by the chicks and the palpable lust by the boys. Their impressions of me didn’t matter-Scott was the target. I approached his roommate. “Where’s Scott?” “I think he’s upstairs. Hold on,” as he attempts to lift the back of my skirt. “What do you have under there?” “Sorry, babe, but this isn’t for you,” and I’m up the stairs in the next second walking up behind Scott as he’s typing on his computer. Scott had missed my entrance but I’d make up for that. I hoist myself up onto the desk, letting my skirt rest high enough that you could see the white lace bloomers underneath. After some breathy chitchat that wasn’t important, he had made his way between my legs and casually asked if he could taste my lollipop. I smiled as I gave it to him and he smiled as he put it between my legs, and then put it in his mouth. Mission Accomplished. A half-hour later I trotted down the steps and out the front door-socializing was not a priority, I had gotten what I wanted. Trick or Treating had never felt so good.

Letters to the Medium, From You, the Students of Rutgers Psychology Internship Interview Gone Wrong When applying for a psychology internship I was asked what interested me into the field. I had this to say: “I’m a poor Jew with a drug addicted mother, an unemployed father, a sociopath brother, and atheistic tendencies.” After the shock wore off of my total seriousness and the look of utter distaste was wiped from his face, the interviewer composed himself and replied: “Well, then, I see you have some experience in the subject.” “You could say I have personal experience.” Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. Maybe next time I should say “suicidal tendencies” and try looking a little more desperate. -Lauren Maloney

Arts

Wednesday, October 31st (minus 2), 2003

“I Spit On Your Rave”

12 12 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 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12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Alright, so this week I split a page with What’s Shakin’. That’s fine with me, because I was just going to mention a bunch of shows that you guys should come out to anyway. 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Rather than write huge articles about them for my page and then mention them again in What’s Shakin’, we might as well just combine the two pages. So it all works out then. 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Anyway, this Halloween, after you’re done worshipping Satan and sticking up old ladies for candy, you can head on down to The Clinic (193 Hamilton Street, New Brunswick) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 for the second annual Gore Mutilation X fest. Last year’s was most certainly a blast, tons of people came, and a lot of people saw and heard Enduser for the first time… he 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 along with his partner in crime Line 47 played the last set of the show, and totally blew everyone away, as nobody knew what to expect… and somehow, Pitchforkmedia.com 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 caught onto his style, giving his 15 Tracks CD-R a well-deserved 9.0 out of 10, and reviewing and namedropping him several times afterwards. At this rate, I’m sure “Beatdown” 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 will probably appear in a car commercial or something sometime soon... Now, the man from Cincinnati returns to rock New Brunswick all over again, and it’s truly going to be a 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 landmark event. Check out http://enduser.sonicterror.net, he updates it practically every day, it seems, with new tracks and info. And of course, read Pitchfork and Simon 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Reynold’s blog for hype. 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 In addition to Enduser, tons of other people will be at this show that you don’t want to miss. Artists, descriptions and labels that have released music by these artists: 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Enduser ... Ragga terror breaks from the streets of Cincy (Sonicterror, Omeko) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Pale ... Terror beats, classical, and bloodyurinecore returns to NJ (Sonicterror, Addict, Tavcom, Aural Addiction) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Tense & Nevermind ... Speedcore PA doom from NYC (Apocalypse records, B.E.A.S.T. records, Cunt records, Crapshoot, LowRes) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Dead Sector ... Hardcore cockslaps from doity Joisey (Industrial Strength Records, Apocalypse records) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Xanopticon ... Wall of sound noise breakcore straight from the streets of Pittsburgh (Tigerbeat6, Hymen, Mirex, Peaceoff) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Dataclast ... Digital grindcore superstars come to rock Jersey (Relapse, Slap-a-Ham, Crucial Blast) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 G-Stompz + Nobody ... Renagade Virus noisecore sets from NYC (Renegade Virus) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 ScreamerClauz ... Speedcore DJ from DPR comes to rock out again (Deadly Productions records) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 And of course, there are special guests planned to show up as well… Word on the street is that HIV Plus will return to infect New Brunswick again, which is worth the price of 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 admission alone… but I’m afraid I may have said too much already. So just show the fuck up, dammit!!! Once again, that’s this Friday night, Halloween, October 31st, at The 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Clinic (193 Hamilton Street, NJ). Admission is only 5 bucks and there’s beer there. SMOKIN’ E PILLS!!! 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 In addition to this show, The Clinic is also proud to present the Schematic Records tour to New Jersey on November 2nd. Tons of people, many of which have been reviewed 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 by such music magazines and websites as CMJ and Pitchfork, will be performing at this show, most notably including Richard Devine, who has not only released material on 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Warp Records and remixed Aphex Twin, but is supposedly contributing to the new Nine Inch Nails album as well. Other artists on the Schematic Tour include Phoenicia, Otto 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Von Schirach, Dino Felipe, Nick Forte, Hearts Of Darkness, and DJ Aura. For more info about this tour and all of the artists, check out http://www.schematic.net. This tour is 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 also stopping at Tonic in NYC on November 1st, and Southpaw in Brooklyn on November 3rd, in case you can’t make it on the 2nd or 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 something. 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 So come out and support these shows, and also please remember to send me stuff for the Arts page as well, at arts@themedium.net. 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Send reviews, articles, poetry, prose, announcements, etc, and show Rutgers that you care about the arts. And also, show The Medium 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 that you care by showing up to our meeting, tonight at 9:30 PM in room 003 in the basement of Beck hall on Livingston campus. If yr on 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 Friendster, add us, first name The Medium, last name Mag. But whatever you do this weekend, have a happy and safe Halloween, and 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 try not to end up like Harold here. 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123

What’s Shakin’

Welcome to an Asian version of What’s Shakin’. Last week we were witness to the start of something majestic, the start of one of those epic moments in history where you can’t watch but must not turn away. I am talking about the battle between the hexagon and the oval, and here are scenes from the epic battle......

“Rest in peace Elliot Smith”

They go at it, but who will claim the title of special event shape?

W H O M A D E Y O U U G L Y ?

And Hexagon wins it with no votes, kinda like George Bush(Hyuck Hyuck, thanks Ned)

Send events to fill a whole page next week to: events@themedium.net

So with this issue being a “special” Halloween issue, I decided to bring you,

People who don’t need masks

Wendy’s, October 29th, 2003

Events G O D D I D L I V E W I T H I T

Wed, Oct. 29-Maroon 5 at Roseland Ballroom, New York Wed, Oct. 29-Eric Idle: Greedy Bastard Tour at Town Hall, New York Wed, Oct. 29-The Strokes at Theater At Madison Square Garden, New York Thurs, Oct. 30-Gilbert Gottfried at Caroline’s, Broadway, New York Thurs-Sat, Oct. 30-Nov. 2-Earl David Reed at The Stress Factory, New Brunswick, NJ Fri, Oct. 31-Cypress Hill at Roseland Ballroom, New York Fri, Oct. 31-Dillinger Escape Plan at The Downtown, Farmingdale, New York Sat, Nov. 1-Ween at Roseland Ballroom, New York Sat, Nov. 1-Widespread Panic at Madison Square Garden, New York Mon, Nov. 3-Hot Water Music at The Downtown, Farmingdale, NY 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234

RU Marijuana Supporters/RU NORML

will hold a general meeting on Tues, Nov. 11 @ 9:15pm in A2 of Frelinghuysen, College Ave Campus.

Halloween in two days!

“take a seat, take your life”

Boo! Boo!

“Ow! My sperm…”

Personals Personals heres a bunch of random things i heard in the past week. girl to guy"oh man im so high" guy saying to that girl" well get down here and suck my dick" guy to guy"IM gay" guy back to that guy" die fag boy" some guy talking to a girl with big titties" are those REAL" Mom said to her son "Now son make sure you lick it before you stick it, now that is common curtesy" To the Indian girl that slashed my card at the ARC computer lab. I dunno what butthere is something about you that lights my fire!!! Damn you look good! Thanks for making my time at the computer lab so enjoyable... (Although most of the people working at that hell hole aren’t very pleasant to look at, the girl you are talking about does have a nice stuffed ass…) To that ugly redhead girl in my astronomy class that gives me dirty looks while i read the medium during the lecture. stop staring at me. you smell bad and nobody likes you. do the world a favor and take a fucking shower you skank. Don't get offended just because i read a paper with pictures of tig ol' bitties in it (tig ol' bitties that you wish you had). I read the medium because it's funny, so fuck off! and if by any chance you stare at me because you want to have sex with me, the answer is no. But if you have any good-looking clean friends, tell them about me. Maybe i'll have sex with them. (You know, this is by far one of the greatest personals I have ever had the privilege of printing. It brings a tear to my eye and discharge to my groin. Dude, get your ass to our meetings, and if you come already, then bring brownies next time…)

The Shortest personal EVER! The Keymaker lives on Busch. To the corny ass mother fuckers at "211" and their fake ass sponsors: Since when did people start referring to a house by just it's house number? What if we started calling Deko Lounge, Rt. 35? " Yo what up, what r u doin tonight?..Chillin goin to Rt. 35" Yes sound corny? That's what y'all are. What do you think you're a franchise, part of Next Wav Entertainment? SO sorry but you are not Club Platinum. Where do I start? Whose 5th grade little brother did u get to make those corny ass t-shirts for you? Marvin's? Ok you have the ghetto ass girl with the shades on at night at the "cashier's" table, with a shirt that says "211" on the front and "Small Wonder" on the back. It's actually a small wonder that her shirt didn't say "LOUD MOUTH, BIG TEETH." And who was the other homo next to her with "Bat Man" (didn't know immature lived in New Brunswick) on his shirt, and the bat shades on, with his sidekick Robin, aka Chris....How corny can you get telling people 5 for $25, and having wristbands when you pay? Rutgers would seriously like to know who told you that charging people and giving them bracelets was a good idea. YOU'RE CORNY!!!! AND someone please explain to me why the people who live there (ex: Marvin, Imani, Sloan, Cameron, etc...) were not wearing the "211" shirts, but the girl with the trucker hat and big mouth was, and she doesn't even live there. To all the other girls wearing the 5th grade tshirts, cuz I know there was more, you guys really took the term groupie to another level. Get a life please, and next time buy some originality while you're at it. To the boys at 211, if you can't pay your rent, THEN GET A FUCKING JOB, because I highly doubt the next time you have a WACK ASS party(because by the way it was beyond wack) nobody will be there except for your "Small Wonder" entourage. So you can really have a nice day and take your corniness with you, because y'all are too cool for me. (This then would be one of the longest...)

To D-D-D-Dawg: Our bet is ON!!! You won't last till May 27th!! When I win I better be gettinsomething GOOD! (And if I happen to lose, I promise not to have sex for three whole months.)Love Always, Red Bull To the three fine African belles I came across in the Quad3 tunnel: Ladies it's Scrumptious and I must thank you for the compliments. If we meet again don't be so hasty in sayin' goodnight. How about the four of us get together for a long night of hot love?-The Boy in Red Robes. To the hot ass guys in our precalc classes.. You are so fucking hot we wanna bang the hell outta you, tie you down and do dirty, dirty things to you... We love you two so get a fucking clue and fuck us already, damnit! Much fucking love, The Hot Chicks that stare at you.... PS HARRY DUMP YOUR BUSTED ASS GIRLFRIEND... thanks! (Although im not in pre-calc, in fact, I haven’t been able to pass the most basic math, I do know that u are talking about me, and consider her dumped. And please, when you’re sexing me up, hold the VD…) To the mumbling fagshitter we live with-Way to eat all the butter you waste. And do your goddamn dishes for fucks sake. I'm gonna take a shit in your Fender cup and wash it in the toilet, BEEYAASAM! Geggon jerk, Psycho and CDT p.s. you suck at life, YA FUCKIN SLUT! oh lord thank you for making the medium come out on wednesdays. This is the day that tillett food makes me shit the most. now at least i have something enjoyable to read. then i can wipe my ass with it too cause the paper is much softer then the toilet paper they give us. (Another satisfied customer of The Medium’s “Wipe your ass with our words” promotion…) The girls below me Sorry for the foosball Ball Coolest chicks EVER To that guy doing card tricks on the bus-Your magic is real and I believe in you.

Wed, Octo-ween 29, 2003 To the orange haired colourblind short meterosexual asian kid that plays ddr for days without eating anything to upset his sensitive stomach that can only take in wendy's...Try white girls, cause the asian girls don't like you. It's true you might get a few STD's while ur at it, but it sure beats not having sex. please all those who keep protesting or gathering on college ave. for your rallys stop it...i'm looking in your direction gay and lesbian community, not to mention you israelis and palestinians(keep your suicide bombings to yourselves). stop handing me bibles and pamphlets about chinese people trapped in china(thats where charles li belongs assholes!).keep you religion,sexuality, and pamphlets to yourselves and let me get dinner without forcing these things upon me, i'm just going to throw whatever you are handing me on the ground anyway(take that environmentalists). To that fine ass bitch that does the needle point on the lx all the time. I want to have babys with you. And when they are born, i want them to come out knitting a carpet or some shit. Have sex with me. The next time i see you, i will say, “Poke that hole in you butt, and u will know its time.

personals@themedium.net

To the cocksucking arab piece of shit who drives the 'A' bus. Here's an idea, just speak english and drive the fucking bus instead of taking a fucking 20 minute break at every stop... you sit in a chair and drive, u dont need a break. And whats with the jacket,tryin to be the arab Fonz? Cuz ya look like someone whowould drive a bus into a crowd and blow it up. Oh yeah, to that hot piece of ass junior i met on the 'A' last tuesday night, my name is mike, i live in Davidson, stop by sometime.

Who invites 70 people to party then sits to themselves in the corner playing beerpong on two different tables? RU baseball. Who doesn’t let anyone else play beer pong, including hot girls? RU baseball. Who’s too pussy to play flip-cup? RU baseball. Who’s so cheap that they go around during a party asking for money? RU baseball. Who starts shoving an innocent female telling her to ‘get the fuck out’ because she did not have any money for those pathetic losers? RU baseball. Although I should have expected this type of asshole behavior from RU baseball, they are Yankee fans. This goes out to the fuckin fag who ruined out first party by taking his gay ass and dumping koolaid on everyone in our backyard fagget. Don't think I don't know who you are or where you are fagget. I know you got geology mon/wed on busch homo. When we find your ass I'am gonna wreck your ass you cock sucker. You don't know when or where but I see you prick. So keep rocking you gay ass haircut loser trying to be a tough guido who rolls up to a party with bigger beer muscles than every homo brother of sigma chi. Your done you bitch made HOE! Outro. www.bigshocker.com personals@themedium.net

Mike Ned

Steve

Dan

The staff of The Medium doesn’t just dress like this for the bogus holiday known as Halloween, this is an every day thing. Come to our meetings every Wednesday at 9:30 in Beck (Livingston) 003. Be in costume and win all the marbles your heart desires!

Wednesday, cOctober 29th, 2003

“Big deal, I’ve got Garfield bed sheets...”

Personals Personals

.To the mumbling fagshitter we Below we present some live with- Way to eat all the butter you waste. I’m gonna real personals that were take a shit in your Fender cup sent into the Medium. We and wash it in the toilet, BEEYA ASAM! Geggon jerk, Psycho at the Medium with them and CDT p.s. oyyuh. you suck the best in luck in finding at life, YA FUCKIN SLUT! p.p.s. the russian rockit blows someone who isn’t crazy borscht dick. Haha. You should or has herpes. Best of be Yelztin for Halloween. (Is Boris Yelztin the best insult you could come up with? Why not Kikkoman or insult his mom. If you’re looking for someone Russian make up some funky last name like Vernanwortzmanstein...) To Becky the Water-Girl on Cook/Doug, Do you like waking up in the morning to the smell of burnt coffee and cigarette smoke? If so, we’re going to have to get rid of your friend so you can take ME home at night. It will be the best 3 minutes of your life. I’ll be watching you. Curious George To those instigating fuckers in house 20, stop trying to start shit all the time. we dont come to ur place and start shit with your assprick problems, so dont do it with us. another thing, to the fuckin coffee cup, stop talkin about ur fuckin TA’s dumper, we know u want to stick your weiner in her shitbox. (Livingston is such a fucking ghetto, it’s like a prison yard down there. Watch out for the shady mother fuckers with their shivs in the showers. Knives hurt, but plastic that’s a mans weapon) yo 2 Dat Kunt who pullz da Phire Alerm @ Stonyer, Goo Job B! Ju did a good job for Da Frat brotha N Homies yo...wee wee wee, you got it Made Cessna! Keep it up wit ja Witeness! Gotta Represent! White Pryde WerldWide! Tru Dat Homes (You are a fucking idiot! Our readers are some of the brightest and some of the, well, the dumbest...) Fuck me in the ass! - Love Evan To the Jews at Hillel!Thank you for building that Wall to keep those dirty Arabs from doing terrorism. God Bless you for your good thinking...we need more people like you to bring Freedom and Patriotism to these God Blessed United States. Amen. (Hey assfuck, how exactly does someone ‘do terrorism’? Is it like your mom?)

luck!

Single Male looking for Single Female. Must love movies and music, as well as rock music. I am looking for a woman who is into slam dancing and slam romancing. If you think you meet this description, e-mail me back a personal. May look like Serena Altschul. It’s a definate plus! Single Male looking for Single Female. I am looking for a girl to have a good time with. Must be able to dress up like a school girl and play adult games. Looking for a sexy lady no older then 25 no kids! Single Jewish Male looking for single jewish female to share his “faith” with. Must enjoy making sexual references from the Torah and masturbating to pictures of Jesus being crusified. Hillell girls need not apply. No mushtaches please! Sex starved female looking for male with huge cock and love of spending money on presents. I will give anal and i’m (not) a fattie! Male seeks surfer girl type to spend time with. Must enjoy 80s type movies, early 90s rock, concerts and going to the movies. Must be laid back and attractive, and sexy no taller then 5’5”. Reply via the personals. Piercings a plus! Jack seeks Marla Singer to make his life horrible in the short run, but meaningful in the long run. Must enjoy thrift shopping and support groups. Sexy single female seeking sexy single male to have fun and fool around with. Must enjoy going out to dinner to reasonable places and being romantic. Willing to go dutch at times, but more willing to go down after a nice night. Jews need not apply you cheap bastards Single involved male looking for female to have fun with. Must be willing to purchase alcohol, and willing to do crazy sexy things. Willing to fufill Eddie, don’t fantasies and make college a fun time for both parties involved. I’m good in bed and love to go be an ass, pay your tickets! down, so don’t worry there baby! Why are Black people so rac- To the personals staff, ist!? It does irk me so that there Please put an end to this Hate. can be BET, yet not Koreans are not asian niggers WET...because, it does seem and Japanese are not White a little racist, does it not? yet rejects. Please stop making it's okay for pure black disparaging remarks against television...i dunno, I do love Asians, especially the Chinese, seeing the differences of cul- just because they invented ture, because differences are a SARS. If you do not stop I beautiful thing. Yet, I don't like will continue to write comwhen we seperate ourselves plaints on Conversation and like "first african american rally Busch Campus to the woman to win an award" or cause. Thanks! "BET"....we are all people imo. (Hey asshole, check out this Cessna,you piece of shit! why personal to the right. I’m sure did you think you can get away its exactly what you want) from my anal gangrape? huh? To that girl who I told I liked Jew think you can get away John Mayers music, I was from Deez Nuts?! What you honest.. but let’s keep that a like women...fuck you white secret. I’m not scared to tell boy! Im cumming after jew and people or anything.... you gonna love it when I stick Tom, thanks for the invite to MA DICK UP YA ASS! the Halloween Party!

To all Asians, I love being white because I'm not oppressed by racial hate. I love being white because I can sit out in the sun and get a golden tan. I love being white because I see beauty in my skin and in that of white women. I don't love being white because I can't openly talk about how great it is to be white without starting a race riot. Without someone misconstruing my words and calling me a racist just because I love being me. I don't love being white because I am a cracker and a slave driver even though I wasn't born near those times. I love and at the same time don't love being white because all of my struggles I have to do on my own without help from my skin tone. I love being white because I am rich in culture and sophistication and have the collective unconscious of many brilliant minds.

I am a real Canadian from Ontario I have been to Korea japan and Hong KongJapan is culturally superior? Korean foods and Chineses foods are far more superior than japaneses. Soku is far better than Sake.Seoul is far better than Tokyo and Osaka.Japan is much more polluted country in Asia.So how come Japan is the best in Asia? Japan is the most horrible country ever visited you moron This personal is to that hot girl I want to ask to come to my friends Halloween parties with me on Friday. I meant to do this a while ago, but wanted to ask in person. Hopefully I’ve asked before you’re reading this. I think we can have a really good time, so let’s go out. I promise it’ll be fun, plus I can be drunk and you can take advantage of me. That’s fun!

Happy Hallowiener from us at the Medium, to all of you at home! This page dedicated to the staff of the Caellian. Best wasters of space.