THE
MEDIUM
The Entertainment Weekly of RutgersUDMNJNewarkCamdenfuckarounddisaster University October 16, 2002
XXXIV, Number 6
bus
h
fno rd.
taste? relevency? ::shrugs shoulders::
not
john doe ain’t got nothin on us... bitches.
Editorials
“Beware of bi-sexual shark poachers, they are out there!”
Wednesday, October 16th, 2002
A Moment with the Editor in Chief
The Importance of Being Chandra
A lot of people ask me. They say “Hey, mang... where you get such nice shoes?” I tell them, “Hey you poor guy, stay away from my shoes. And take a shower, you filty animal!” Hahaha. Ah, but seriously folks, I hate the poor. They do nothing but crowd me when I’m on my way to work, and look at me with their beady, under 30-grand a year making eyes. I know they want my life, what with the Couvassier baths, Pellegrino colonics, and the excess of fine fine multi-racial booty.
-Jes Deveraux Trading Faces, the Act of Humility
You know why they can’t have my life? It’s because they’re poor! It’s true dear reader, they couldn’t afford any of those things, because they simply do not make enough money. Have they ever known the joys of snorting cocaine off of a 12 year old’s supple ass? Could they ever sit down for a meal of pure roasted Condor? Even the simple joys of killing a close friend, knowing that you own the local police? No, no and definitely not! In fact, if it weren’t for the slim anonymity of this stupid paper, I’d even print a picture of myself kicking the last poor petri dish to try and get something from me. It should have a caption “The time? Stop spending your money on filthy drugs and buy yourself a watch you filthy waste of perfectly good transplant organs!” Ha! So to you poor people out there, using this paper as a roof or a raincoat or whatnot... keep your chin up, and stay away from my fucking shoes! With love,
Martin Babitz Editor in Chief, The Medium
Humility, it toughens the soul, builds character, and you know what, humbles you as a person. These are all wonderful attributes that we should all as a family strive for in our liv….. [this is when the record scratches]. WTF?!!? No, I don’t believe so. Some people are strong advocates of the view I briefly laid out, and most likely the kind of people that have never experienced pure and unadulterated humiliation. How, I ask, could humiliation be virtuous? To feel it builds character? But then should it not follow that the cause of this humiliation loses something? Let’s take people relations for example. This is something that has most likely happened to everyone at some point or another. Let’s say that you have an acquaintance that quite frankly embarrasses you, someone you don’t really want to be seen associating with, but you do because they’re a good person and the chemistry is fabulous. One day you two have dinner in a quaint, and dark, restaurant when you run into some of your friends. You end up telling your friends that you felt obligated to hang out with that person, but you’re really too cool for him/her. Your friends are thoroughly entertained, and you’ve saved your face. Well, isn’t this wonderful. This is indeed common practice. Have we become so jaded? So self-involved that we insist on saving our faces at the expense of another, this ain’t no pawn shop daddio. We’re like a sewing circle, we tell everyone everything but make sure that we come out on top. This inexplicable feeling has become the bane of our existence, don’t you think? We’ve become so disgusting. I’ve treated people like that, but I’ve also been on the receiving end. Why is it so hard for us to recapture humanity? The blind man truly can see more than any sighted person can see. What this whole thing boils down to is this (although it may not seem to directly follow): We judge people based on the mere aesthetics of them. If a hot guy and an ugly guy tell the same perverted joke, the hot guy is funny, and the ugly just what the joke is…perverted. One doesn’t feel humiliation without consent. I’ve consented, and I’d gladly trade my face in, I think we all would.
Q: How did dinosaurs procreate? A: With gigantic penises!
I was in a drug induced coma last week, and I didn’t make it to the Ale’n’Wich, so I don’t know what Bobby McGee quoth. If you’re out there, Mr. McGee, I need a drink. Fucking A.
Sexy black women.
A Letter from the Opinions Editor:
Dead old white men. After a harrowing week in a drug induced coma, I have learned a couple of things. First and foremost is that I don’t think I ever want to go that long without drugs, ever, ever again. I woke up feeling like a camel had been living in my colon and Republicans had left-wing liberal science freaks had stolen all of my organs for stem cell research. Second, I decided that I miss Bill Clinton. I miss him like hell. I miss the way he can sit down and eat a dozen bagels in a half of an hour. I miss the boyish pranks, the adorable pout he made when got caught. Bill Clinton, I miss you. Al Gore, I miss you too. Sure, you lacked Bill’s prep school charm, his easy drawl, his all-excusing gravitas, and his incredible ability to distract the American public from real issues not involving genitals and cohibas. Nevertheless, I miss you Al, and I hope that when you come back, well, I hope you come back with the thunder of righteousness, and flatten a trail of destruction to put Sherman’s to shame. God bless you, you big hearted man, your country needs you, and misses your tender kiss.
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Sex Opinions News Eatbabies! GMG Feaures
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Arts Obscenity Profanity Personals What’s Shaking
Cover by: Martin Babitz and Ben Schachtman
THE
MEDIUM
CONTENTS
fnord
It doesn’t get any fucking better.
Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor Business Manager Opinions Editor News Editor GMG Editor Arts Editor Faculty Advisor
Martin Babitz Ryan Beckman I. M. Stainy Ben Schachtman Carol Hu Ryan Beckman Aija McKenzie Jeff Buechner
The Medium LSC 113 Wednesday @ 9
Acting Personals Editor Photography Editor What’s Shakin’ Editor Online Editor Advertising Manager Staff Artist Senior Editor
Mike Stanley Liz Finelli Amy Groark Mike Wyzard Mike Stanley *Help Wanted* Amy Groark
THE MEDIUM is the entertainment weekly of Rutgers University. All articles are the opinions of the authors and are not necessarily shared by THE MEDIUM. Submission and business deadline is Sunday at 12:00 pm. THE MEDIUM is located in the SAC Cubicle N. All correspondence may be addressed to THE MEDIUM SAC Box 78, New Brunswick, N.J. 08903 or emailed to prometus@hotmail.com. Next week I swear to God this line will be witty. I swear. Seriously.
Wednesday, October 16th, 2002
“My house is 70% heterosexual. Just like Congress.”
Opinions
I Died For Your Opinions By Jesus H. Christ A lot of people are under the impression that freedom of speech is as sweet and simple as a spring day. Well, some people get crucified on spring days. There is a world of hurt out there for these people, and regardless of what gets said and done to them, the lessons they learn will never amount to a true understanding of the way the world works. Freedom implies a certain responsibility. License, one might say, comes with a cost. Words can be far deadlier then weapons, and it is as much your right to speak as it is your duty to be aware of what you are saying, and why. To the man on his porch yelling “nigger” and to the boy in his car yelling “faggot” and to the young Jewish student yelling “camel fucker” from his father’s BMW and to the professor calling women who have had abortions “nazi murderers” and to the President of the United States who called a bright, promising patriot who just happened to smoke marijuana “a terrorist” - your myopia will be your undoing, and it would be my pleasure to see your due paid in full, if only a pale substitute for seeing your body on a cross. Have a nice day.
He also died for cows with glass tummies!
Explicit Cracker
TM
“Saying the things to incredibly, spreadably, inedibly ignorant for the average man to say.” Dear Reader, I don’t have very much to say, except to say that Cow’s ought to have glass stomach panels, so I can see what in the hell is going on in there. I mean, I’m no ovo-lacto-vegitarian. I’m not a communist or anything. I’m not against eating cheese, or chugging milk. I’m not even all that concerned about the evil stuff that the military industrial groups put in the milk to make us love God and hate immigrants. I just want to know, once and for all, what in the name of Jesus Christ is going on inside the many stomachs of the cow. I mean, I don’t think its an especially nice animal, certainly not a deity, but I am so goddamned curious about it, I’m about reading to hock my Camaro and fund some bovine digestive research. If anyone out there wants to help, contact me through the medium. Please, I beg you. The Explicit Cracker.
The Medium’s Sexy Opinion of the Month: Dear Medium
Things Jesus also died for: Camaro Z28 Convertible Coupes!!! Thongs!!! Garfield!!! First Degree Murder!!!
I am an Asian-American boy, of yellowish complexion. Often I have trouble getting booty, I’m not picking, black or white, male or female, so long as I get to shoot my sweet monkey seed all over the place. It is my oriental opinion that my patented sexual technique be nominated as the sexiest thing any one person can do to anyother person. Its called the “Double Egg-Roll Twist” in Taiwan. I don’t know if I’m comfortable telling you what it is, exactly, at least until I get more ‘intimately aquainted’ with you folks. I will tell you that all the good boys and girls get one, and they always come back for more, except, of course, when they order out, then I deliver it to them. Give me the respect I deserve, and if you’re lucking, you might just get one too. (I’m serious, The Medium might as well have actually recieved this one. Asian people are freaky, freaky, freak - Ed.) Hey, christkiller, send opinions to collegeben@hotmail.com
News
“life sucks and then... you go see a shrink and talk about your problems.”
Wednesday, October 16th, 2002
Acting President Temporarily Killed by troy crowder STAFF POWDER
The University Community was shocked today with news that Acting University President Norman Samuels was temporarily killed over the weekend. The killing will be in effect until a suitable replacement is found. "Well, crap!" said Board of Governors President Gene O'Hara, upon hearing the bad news. "First that guy from Washington doesn't take our offer and now Norm gets himself killed. What a fucked-up gig this shit is." While details are still sketchy at this time, it is believed that Samuels was kidnapped, shot by a sniper, then drowned in a flood brought on by torrential rain.
Why I Hope We Are Going To War by steven glennon STAFF WRITER
Tensions are running at a fevered pitch between America, Iraq, and the United Nations. Iraq wouldn't let UN weapons inspectors in, so we were cool with it for a while but now Bush is like, "Yo, Iraq, stop being a pussy." The UN is like "C'mon guys can't we all just get along?" Bush is like "Fuck that, dude let's go kick some Iraqi ass." This has sparked many debates, not only because the president said the f-word, but also because we have a lot of hippies in this country who don't want to fight cause then they have to stop hugging their trees. Well this is one non-hippy who has a damn convincing argument as to why we should invade Iraq like herpes and gonorrhea have invaded my immune system. Video game developers have been riding the war game craze since Saving Private Ryan. The newest and coolest of these games are return to castle wolfenstein and Medal of Honor. These games show just how intense war can be, but it's also fun. Yes, war is fun. If it weren’t, would it be a game? I didn't think so. Now that we've established war is fun, let's apply it to our conflict in the Middle East. Going to war with Iraq would be awesome. You'd probably walk around for a while and explore the new level, I mean country, and then you'd find some damn kraut I mean Iraqi and you have a shoot out for a while. Even if you get hit a couple of times, who cares right cause you just kill the guy, walk over, and take the box of health that drops out of any dead person. Feeling mighty fine now, aren't you? So you keep walking around until you kill more jawas and take their health. Before you know it, you've killed the entire Iraqi army, and had fun doing it too. Now some of you out there might be saying, “I've never played either of these games, this article is retarded,” “I hate my dad cause he touched me when I was 6,” or “I've played both of these games but this article still sucks my huge Asian cock.” To that I say, there is no such thing as a huge Asian cock, and if you've never played these games then you will explore without walking, thus giving away your position and thus making you an easy fucking target. Therefore you deserve to die, and that's ok ‘cause we don't want people like you on our server, I mean army. Ever see that show Freakazoid where the kid gets sucked into his computer and becomes a super hero? That was awesome.
People, this is what you have to do: Send me articles: carolhu@eden.rutgers.edu visit our beloved website: www.themedium.net send us some cool and funny and thought provoking personals: stainey@witty.com come to our meeting: livingston student center room 113 at 9:30 pm - sharp! try to be fashionably late - the Editor in Chief is always the last to arrive. oh yeah, and give me a nice long blow job.
message from the editor: to LJX: i don’t want to publish your ass. i hope you understand that i am just trying to spare the rutgers community of the desparity of viewing your ass. please understand that i must spare everyone what i had to see. maybe someone else will publish it in their page. but i’m sorry i cannot do that, james geiger. -carol hu, news editor submit news articles to carolhu@eden.rutgers.edu, please include your name or a pseudonym if you do not wish for your identity to be revealed.
Sisqo + Sorostitutes = Death
by the volcano worshipper STAFF milton
Sorry excuse for a human being/R&B singer Sisqo was recently found dead in a gutter somewhere off Douglass campus last week. Apparently, after the massive success of that god-awful "Thong Song" that polluted the airwaves two years ago, he spent every last cent of his royalties on ludicrous amounts of crack, coke, dope, pills, barbiturates,hallucinogens, amphetamines, PCP, heroine, opium, peyote, raspberry lemonade Snapple, and Teddy Ruxpin dolls. He thought that the release of his second album would pay for it all and then some, but it flopped miserably, and he was forced not only to reunite with his former Dru Hill band mates and begin working on another god fucking awful album, but become the lamest male slut/stripper ever, as all the drugs and thongs came crashing down on his wasted, bloated body. He had to go on tour to practically every frat/sorority house in the world playing that god awful mother fucking piece of shit "Thong Song" to millions of drunk retarded frat boys and sorostitutes every night just to pay his bills, while being heckled miserably like the pathetic hunk of crap that he is, and while only wearing a thong and then having to take it off later as his ass got reamed every night. Finally he ended up at Rutgers and the sorostitutes gave him so many STDs he collapsed dead in the gutter. He's now in Hell sucking Satan's dick and getting reamed up the ass by Hitler.
Wednesday, October 16th, 2002
News
“I don’t print anyone’s ass, just beckass.”
Taste Test Results Rock Food Industry by eric j baker STAFFWRITER
Thousands of riots broke out across the world yesterday after United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan announced the much-anticipated results of an international blind taste test. According the UN sponsored candy flavor report; green M&Ms were named by 63% of respondents as being the best tasting M&M, regardless of peanut content. The news was hailed by environmental organizations as definitive evidence that most of the world’s population favors stricter clean air and conservation laws. “Everyone knows that green is the most ecologically friendly color there is,” said Willow, spokesperson for Earth First, a radical environmental group. “Nobody picked brown, because that is the color of mucky poop stuff.” “Not so fast,” said A. Brainwashed Idiot, spokesman for Conservative Guys Who Don’t Know What That Means But Call Themselves Conservative Anyway, a loose conglomeration of short, angry white men who like to phone AM radio stations. “Those M&Ms are Kelly green, which we know is the color of toxic waste.” Mr. Idiot was unaware that depicting toxic waste, as bright green is a so-called artistic convention only employed by directors of really shitty movies. The survey also found that the most popular flavor of Milky Way was Snickers, which is in fact, not a flavor of Milky Way. Experts attribute this result to Milky Way being disgusting. When reached for comment, Milky Way Inc. Chairman, Carl Spackler replied, “It’s no big deal,” between bites of a Baby Ruth bar. The UN survey was conducted over 3 years and involved 250,000 candy eaters in Qatar and some country in Africa whose name has changed three times this week, with a margin of error of plus or minus 50 percent.
Dr. Claw Gets Gadget, Matthew Broderick by colin marchiando STAFF WRITER
Finally taking the time to sit down and watch Disney’s 1999 live action release “Inspector Gadget”, the infamous Dr. Claw got both his nemesis Inspector Gadget and Matthew Broderick in one fateful swoop. Sources close to the doctor reported that he seemed very displeased with the film, noting its inability to provoke laughter or deep thought, and then he proceeded to actually get Gadget. With years of failure behind him, few if any believed Claw would actually get Gadget, but both Gadget and Broderick were found dead today outside of their homes in California. Claw has declined interviews about the incident, but has made it clear to the press that he is responsible. In a statement issued to the New York Times, Claw said “I got that Gadget and Broderick, now I may rest.” No charges are expected to be filed, as murdering a celebrity affiliated with Disney is considered a public service in California. The slaying of Inspector Gadget himself has been deemed an acceptable form of euthanasia by Californian officials, due to the fact that Gadget was useless, and it was Penny who solved all of the crimes with her electronic book and babbling dog.
Oh yeah, 23 million people were killed in the riots, but they were all from third world countries, so nobody cared.
Student, 18 Dies, University to Begin Dildo Safety Instruction by "PINK EYED" jim cortina STAFF WRITER
Ryan Schmaltz, a Rutgers college freshman, fell to his death out of his dorm room window, though the fall was not listed as the cause of death. The cause of death was actually listed as internal anal hemorrhaging due to the improper use of his King Kong® dildo. The student was apparently engaging in some solo anal love while staring out his window at passing frat guys, when he became a bit overzealous and punctured his colon wall. In the ensuing ruckus, he tripped and fell from his second floor dorm room at Stonier Hall. As the passers-by were all stupefied at the naked, rectally bleeding man. The scene is only a semi-rare site on College Ave; no one helped him and he eventually bled to death. Embarrassingly, the dildo was not found until the next morning when a patron of Brower Dining Hall was eating her scrambled eggs. When pressed for an interview, Ryan's mother simply said, "Jim, you are so sexy, you make me forget of the grief and embarrassment my son has put me through," and gave the reporter a fabulous hummer. The father did the same. Nice family. Rutgers University Officials, in response to this “all-to-familiar incident,” have decided to implement mandatory dildo safety class to all future incoming freshmen. Rumor has it that Peter North will be asked to fill the new position of Dean of Dildo Safety and Jenna Jameson will be the Assistant Dean of Dildo Safety. The two will teach the new classes, sometimes together. The tentative syllabus includes such topics as: - Intro to Anal Penetration - Double Dildo Usage - Dildo or Fist? - Proper Dildo Sanitation - Preparing your room for love: Locking windows, and tying down your roommate. - Where to store your Dildo when not in Use - Don't Own A Dildo? Random Dorm objects that may come in handy. Rutgers officials expect a rush of application for incoming 2003-04 freshmen in response to the new curriculum.
Recently Occurring True Events and Circulating Rumors A man was shot four times in the back, on Hamilton Street, near the Harvey and Louis Streets. The incident occurred at approximately 3 pm, Sunday afternoon. It was not a drive-by, instead it was assumed that the shooter intended on attacking this specific victim. The reason is unknown. The victim was admitted to Bob Wood Johnson on Somerset Street and remains alive. The Daily Targum has recently decided to omit the comic strip “Liquid Kids” from their daily line-up of humor. Students have decided to ban the Targum until Liquid Kids returns to the Targum. The reason is, as one Rutgers sophomore says, “is that this comic strip is the only thing that brings humor to my sad and depressing life and now that they have taken it away from me, I refuse to read their scum of a paper.” Students who take the 5th and 6th Ward Shuttle may have noticed that the normal shuttle has been replaced by a “Library Shuttle.” My sources tell me that a bus driver was driving drunk one night and crashed it into a stone wall. Academy has acquired a new shuttle, but is hesitant about using it. 40 of their drivers have failed the drug test and their best driver is a woman who drives at 2 mph.
GMG
“Don’t fuck with the baby-sitter.”
PIMPLES &the PUTRID PUSS By Stan When I see a pimply-faced girl I think, "Her pussy probably stinks." (Indeed pimples tend to be synonymous with the stinky-P but not always so.) Acne infested people have tried to refute this, but a statistical analysis and the simple extrapolation of physical and social scientific facts supports this observation. Acne is the result of bacterial infection of the dermal layers and pores. Healthy diets and immune systems tend not to support such persistent bacterial invasions as lots of raw fruits, veggies, and unprocessed foods contain natural bactericides and immune-supportive factors (e.g. garlic, basil, ginger, raw honey, etc.) Diets high in low-quality fats, carbs, and animal proteins and deficient in vitamins simultaneously suppress the immune system and support unfriendly bacterial growth, including Candida albicans and E. coli. When I see one or two pimples I think, "stress or menstruation." When I see numerous pimples, red and inflamed I think, "extra cheese, bacon, butter, & mayo at Jimmy's with a diet cola." Not only does a shitty diet encourage acne-bacteria growth; low-fiber, highfat diets discourage shitting itself. Low fiber diets produce denser, slower-moving, cement-like stools. The longer fats, carbs, and proteins reside in the alimentary tract, the more completely the putrefaction process (that means rotting- dummy) runs. As the bolus rots during its labored progress through the alimentary canal, bacterial action produces all kinds of sulfide gases and organic acids (e.g. butyric, proprionic, etc…) which all STINK. High fiber = Shorter residence time, thus food doesn't stay in the gut long enough for putrid breakdown products to accumulate. GARBAGE IN-GARBAGE OUT The body eliminates waste through more orifices than just the urethra and anus. Certain blood-gases can also be purged through the lungs. More effectively, however, is sweating and the process of dermal excretion. This is how a shitty diet, that allows food to putrefy in the gut, supports the growth of acne-bacteria in the pores and funky-cootch-vapor emissions in the pants. The proof that certain odiferous factors in the gastrointestinal tract can be discerned through the pores is a simple matter of sniffing a F.O.B. guinea or Hindu, or any other person with a diet high in cumin, garlic, onions, and certain other spices. (That was real ignorant and offensive- Author) To prove my hypothesis, locate any pimply-faced female, any shade or size. Accidentally, on purpose drop something of yours in a manner that will allow you to get your nose within one-foot (0.3 meters) of her crotch as you retrieve said object. As you go to pick the object up, take a sniff and discern for yourself. (Author's notes: Results are most effective in the afternoon/ evening after the morning shower has subsided. Results may also vary due to heavy investments in FDS and other olfactory facades. This author is an equal opportunity offender: Guys with bad diets and acne tend to stink more too.) This article was sponsored in part by: Clean-Clams International: Purveyors of fine feminine-hygiene products. The Offices of Hyman, Vunk, and Kleinsorgan: The leaders in surgical, stink box removal. The George Street Organic Foods Market- Healthy Foods for a Healthy You *Pseudo-Science International* "We'll rent lab-space to anyone, even_______ (fill in the blank) ." Special Thanks To: The Professional Association of Misogynists, The Society for A Cleaner America, The Nutrition Department (not here though), The Union of Concerned Dermatologists, The Organization for the Prevention of Stereotypes (OPS), Wicked -XXX- Video, C.U.N.I.L.I.N.G.U.S., and Rug-Munchers Local #825- Seeking better working conditions for better workers.
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Send Short Stories, Poems, Comics, Rants and things that try to be funny to CuteBoyAss@hotmail.com or to RyanBeck@eden.rutgers.edu
Wednesday, October 16th 2002
Nazis Hate Orange Jews By: The Writer.s Block Hey a couple of days ago, I came across a huge discovery; I discovered that Jews were still around. You see, I was never the best student in History class, but I remember reading about Jews all getting killed off by the Nazis in the Desert Nam War or something. But I found out that I was wrong when I met my new neighbor, old man Rosenberg. One day I noticed that old man Rosenberg had this stupid tattoo of a bunch of numbers on his arm. It has been well documented that I said, “That has got to be the stupidest Hitler’s least favorite part of the tattoo I have ever seen, stupider than a day was when he woke up because tattoo of a heart with the words BIN he had to drink a tall glass of Or- LADEN written across it.” He told me ange Juice. Sometimes to encour- that it was a tattoo that he had gotten from age her son to drink his juice his the concentration camps when he was kid. mother could cross out “juice” on At first I felt bad for him because I’ve been the carton and write “jews”. to a lot of camps when I was a kid and I never once was force to get some permanent mathematical tattoo, only henna tattoos of some pretty butterflies (but that’s cool cuz butterflies are awesome). All of a sudden, old man Rosenberg got crazy mad. He started to speak in a weird language (not Spanish for sure) and started shouting at me, “From the Holocaust, you stupid! The Holocaust!” At first I didn’t know what he was saying because he had this really thick foreign accent. “The Santa Claus? That makes no sense, Jews don’t celebrate Christmas,” I said. He said, “No, you stupid, the Holo-Caust, Ho-lo-fuckin. Caust!!!” I replied, “Oh, the holocaust, oh, that was real? I always thought that the holocaust was some story that parents told their kids to scare them from putting their heads in the oven.” At this point, old man Rosenberg started to cry; man, are Jews weird. But I guess the holocaust was like really sad for him or something. After all, he got that stupid tattoo and he probably had to watch his friends and family get killed in those gas chambers and turned into soap; I bet Dove soap bars make him cry too. If so, then Jews make great soap, cuz Dove is one kick ass soap bar! Anyways, I guess the point of this story is don’t get stupid tattoos. Wait, no, the point is Jews are like everywhere, did you guys like know that they even have their own country! At first I thought old man Rosenberg was lying (you know those Jews, they’re sneaky). So I said, “You guys have your own country, yeah right! Israel? Don’t you mean Isfake!” This was not smart, cuz he just cried some more. I felt so bad that I wanted to cheer him up. So digging deep down in my memory bank I tried to think about what Jews like, which of course is money. So I gave him like 50 cents, and that ungrateful bastard started shouting at me about being an ignorant bastard. At this point I got mad and said that I wish he were one of those Dove bars so that I could clean my ass with his face. Sometimes I have like the best comebacks!
Cum To The Medium Meeting
More terrorist attacks!!!!!! By The unknown stapler You know what I miss about the last year? Planes crashing into buildings.... I mean how often do you see that? It was like plane crash picnic bear jamboree last September, it was great. Why can't there be more plane crashes like that? You know, those people on that flight over Philly aren't heros, they only crashed the plane in a field... a field for Christsake.... no killing, only 200 or so burnt crisp people.... that's only mildly arousing for me. But, there's nothing like a building collapsing on itself to get you all hard and horny. All those peopel flying out the window, plummetting to their deaths. Nothing says sexy like crying babies. For that, I love Osama and his Jihad. GOOOOOOO ARABS!!!! So, whenever he gets his hunky ass around to another terrorist plan, tell him, Uncle Sam wants more planes crashing, because the thought of more burning rubble, especially in well-populated areas gets me so hot. mmmmmmm, dead Americans, that just sounds so tasty, I'm gonna masturbate to that thought right now....
Tonight and every Wednesday night at 9:30 in the Livingston Student Center (room 113).
Offensive
“Don’t fuck with me, I’ve eaten babies.”
Wednesday, Octover 16th 2002
The Joy of Sex (with your Roommate's Mom) By: Raoul Dan, poster boy for contraception since 1982 Now that we've been in school for over a month, it is possible that some of you out there may be having problems with your roommate. Things that seemed trivial in the beginning may now be getting on your nerves. Since Rutgers is too incompetent to help you in any way shape That is the problem sir, this boy wanted to be or form, I would like to take molested by you... now this oppurtunity to aid the we’ll just have to let university community. You I didn’t him pretend to be can thank me with blowjobs, touch him, forced to suck your or a honey-baked fetus. what’s the Like my freshman year dick while you’re handIn the spirit of vigilanteism, problem? roommate’s mother always cuffed. you must take things into used to say, “If you don’t scub your own hands, and there behind your balls, I won’t gargle is only one thing that you can with Listerine when you dip do. And that is, quite simply, them in my mouth. to have sex with your roommate's mom. Think of the power it gives you. If your roommate starts bitching that you ate his Fruit Loops, you can just “Boy, I’m sure glad I poisoned say, "Yeah, and I also ate your mom out." If he starts whining their candy last night.” about the room being too dirty for his OCD ass to handle, you can always just say, "Yeah, it's dirty, but not as dirty as your mom's stank-ass cunt." And this doesn't only work for guys, in fact, for women, it is even better. Because when your roommate I’m no Can I blow starts complaining about how you slept with her boyfriend, or Hello. Hey there sailor. you anyway? gave it up anal-style to that dude she likes, you can always say, sailor. "Yeah, I fucked that guy. Oh, and your mom too." That oughta shut her bitch-ass up. And at parties, what better of an icebreaker is there? When you meet new people, you can just remind your roommate how good it was to fuck his mom three ways from sunday. I guarantee you will be the life of the party. The possibilities are endless. You can use it as a revenge tactic, or as I would suggest, simply as an insurance policy. You know, just in case. And remember, you'll want to fuck your roomate's I sent poetry to CuteBoyAss@hotmail.com and now I can find pornography on the mom before he fucks your mom. Because sometimes, the best internet defense is a good offense, my friends. So get out there, beand now YOU can too... just submit articles or basically anything to cause who knows what lies ahead? CuteBoyAss@hotmail.com or RyanBeck@eden.rutgers.edu.
The Bountiful Poetry Corner(s) "Would You Like My Carrot Stick?"
Ode To A Black Fat Weatherman (Al Roker)
by Alexander The Poet
by Alexander The Poet
Would you like my carrot stick? Doesn't it look pretty? Go ahead, give it a lick Relax, it's not "meaty" Go on, take it in your mouth It's so good and healthy Slowly slide it in, and out You will not feel filthy! You know, carrot sticks are long, Much like a black penis And with them, you can't go wrong With them, you're in business!
Untitled by Rollie "Filthy" Fingers Shit is great. Shit is grand. I like to shit upon my hand.
Chose or Lose
When I need to know the weather I make sure it's from a black fat man They know how to predict better That's why I'm a huge Al Roker fan He lets me know when it is cold, And he lets me know when it is hot He's correct, not because he's old He's correct because he weighs alot Why should I listen to Storm Field? He don't weigh enough to be trusted But Al Roker, he's the real deal With his forecasts, much nut I've busted
by The Mad Typer If you ever fall in love, With a hot vegan chick Give her something to think of Give her, your carrot stick! THE END
Abortions are tasty The special moment Poopie Underbiker
I watch him walk from side to side, Slowly, from the east coast to the west No city, state, country can hide, From this man Al Roker, he's the best! THE END
Arts
“You’re gonna go play RUGBY in this weather?”
Wednesday, October 16, 2002
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FAT DEBBIE:
Another Cultural phenomenon
brought to you by Aija McKenzie,
Alright, I know that some of you are thinking, “What’s with this girl and the obession with fat chicks?” or “Damn, wish I had some pot to smoke...” I never meant for this to spur a lashing out against big girls in general, as a big girl myself, I LOVE fat chicks. But I HATE Fat Jenny. And all those other fat girls that make me and my friends look bad. So here are the rules. If you see some random fat girl on the street in a sweater and jeans just trying to live her life and do the damn thing, then that’s cool. If you see Fat Jenny in a one-shoulder backless number munching on HoHos (yes, both of them simultaneously), then you can pull her aside and tell her that her Rutgers butt-shorts actually say “Ruuuuuuuuuuuuutgeeeeeeeeeeeers.” But I digress. This week’s topic is Fat Debbie. She’s white, obese, and most often seen in downtown New Brunswick. Wanna know how to spot her? Here’s what she’ll be wearing: 1. Dingy white Keds sneakers and slouch socks 2. Essential spandex pants (either in basic black or “denim-esque”) 3. An oversized T-shirt that has a picture of glittery airbrushed kittens and/or roses, that reads “Special Lady, Atlantic City, NJ.” 4. A huge flannel shirt to cover it all 5. Classic Mullet or one of those feathered “Body Wave” deals with crispy bangs So now that you’ve found Fat Debbie, here’s the deal with her. She’s got really low self-esteem, and because of this she decides to forge a relationship with Black Sam, that really skinny, really toothless, really black guy you see, also in downtown NB. Ever watch Jerry Springer where two Fat Debbies fight over one Black Sam? The sad part is that none of them are worth shit, and so these two trashy women pull each other’s greasy hair out over the same shiftless, trifling black guy. And so the Fat Debbies sit at the bus stop, with their out-of-wedlock mulatto children in tow. What’s the solution? Chin(s) up, Fat Debbie. Leave that trifling ass Black Sam alone, he just goes from one Debbie to the next. And girls, just cause nobody’s ever told ya that you’re pretty doesn’t mean that you aren’t. And that’s foreally real on some foreal shit. PS - I decided to write this because...I run with six gangs, I’m twelve years old, and I can do, and say, what I WANT.
How can you make Arts happy? 1. By submitting your stuff to shorty_fat_fat@yahoo.com 2. By coming to a Medium Meeting, tonight at 9:30, LSC room 113 3. By coming to the Rutgers Womens Rugby Game against Fairfield on Sunday So c’mon, please me!
EYE CANDY
your Arts Ed.
screw boobs this week....we need a little somethin...well, a LOTTA somethin...for the ladies. Henry Simmons is 76 inches of man, how’s THAT for art? Paulson: ridiculous/engine EP by Nick Slomsky, Medium Music Critic If one hears that a rock band has keyboards, one usually suspects that the band has a funk, classic rock, or (neo) new wave sound. Keyboards are not usually connected with modern rock bands, despite the use of some keyboards by groups such as Smashing Pumpkins and Radiohead. Guitar remains the primary instrument in rock and a band using keyboards is often careful to keep them from overpowering the guitars. Paulson is a NJ-based band that includes keyboards in a way not often heard, alongside the guitar, neither dominating nor filling in the background. They have a seriously rocking guitar and drums with keyboard touches that bring The Cars (of all bands) to mind. Their six-song EP “ridiculous/engine” showcases all of their sounds as well as a variety of songwriting styles in fine fashion: they show some tender touches on “Christie” and touch on reggae in “Me First.” “Generosity pt. II” begins sounding like Fugazi but eventually reaches a chorus that has a slight “Foo Fighters with keyboards” taste to it. The strong guitar sound is present throughout and that and the excellent drumming promises to make for an intense live show. For more info: <http://www.paulsonisaband.com/>
Wednesday, October 16th, 2002
“Everything I’m about to do to you baby, I learned at Sea World”
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/sabotage/seal_sabotage.asp Dave, Dear Stupid FuckersWe all know that you cry and You obviously have no sense masturbate to the Disney of humor. I read in the Targum channel. Knock it off, how you think Liquid Kids is fagshitter. Better get ready to such a horrible thing. Well, it’s die... Andrew W.K. called HUMOR. Learn to (Once again here they come laugh at something. Obviously with the “fagshitters” I bet it was a joke about how some dave loves NYC, stop ripping assholes think that blowing up off a decent artist and if a building and killing innocent you’re going to try to use a Americans is a great thing. Suicool new term try fuckass or cide bombings happen all of the tell someone to suck a fuck) time. Do you write people from What is one word you would Palestine saying how it’s wrong describe the feeling when you to do that? Or how it’s wrong for your fat asses to breathe air give cunnilingus to your mother? Give up? If you said I could breathe. Huh? Stop sick, you were wrong... the complaning and get a real life correct answer is, of course, with a sense of humor. Liquid Kids is the best comic in the funnalingus... Targum, next to Mattia. No (Want to know the term that really, I like Mattia. describes what you and your roommate do together? It’s (People love to complain about everything. I’m not gay! Go suck a fuck!) surprised that many wrote Why the fuck don’t people the Targum to complain, but here shower? I was watching I mean it’s humor learn to us lose the football game to deal with it. It could have WV (yeah I needed a T-shirt) been alot worse, and Liquid and this fucking Asian smelled Kids has been a lot worse in like they hadn’t showered in a the past. I love Liquid Kids!) few weeks. I mean, c’mon it To my classeswas a big event being “Family You all suck. I don’t do my Day” which meant that parents work and now I’m all behind. could pay to come to a shitty I wish that my classes were football game and watch us cooler and less gay, I mean I lose. Rutgers Football why go to classes so work should don’t you stop sucking? Trump be easy. It makes the most is horrible at least Cubit did sense. well against Tennesee, and you put him in with like 9 minutes Dear fat cow: left. I can’t wait to see us get Try not to get any more disour asses kicked royally eases while you're taking 2 BBC’s in the ass. against Miami. (Imagine how much havoc PS: everybody hates you would be caused if we de- (Now it’s going to be quite feated Miami? Total riots, if hard not to get more diseases it does happen, I called it unless she has them already. FYI: Keep away from fatties) first!)
Personals
to chiapei: when u get home, do ur job and cook me some food woman! (Chiapei, like a good woman should cook you dinner then pleasure you in whatever way you desire. All women take note of this) dearest erin: ur fish suck. mine will eat urs one day! muhaha!! To that girl in BrowerDamn you looked so fucking hot in that green shirt on. I saw you sitting down and sharing stir-fry with your friend or roommate, and I hope that food isn’t the only think that you two share. I’ve got a nice manly cock to share with the two of you. You did look young, but I’m older and more experianced, they do say that girls are 3 years more mature then guys so it’s like i’m not as old as I really am. Don’t worry baby, I can get you into bars and clubs and buy you all the Bacardi Silver or Smirnoff Ice you could ever want. Just give me a shot back via the Medium
He-Man and She-Ra want you to send your personals so they can read about what pisses you off.
www.themedium.net
Come to a Medium Meeting 9:30PM room 113 at the Livingston Student Center. These babies came last week and had a hella-good time.
MISTER WOULD YOU PLEASE HELP MY PONY HE’S OVER THERE LOOKING AT ME HE CAN’T TALK BECAUSE HES A PONY I THINK ITS HIS LUNG
(Uh... yeah...) shit, i wanna take a shit, everybody wanna take a shit shit, i wanna take a shit, everybody wanna take a shit shit, i wanna take a shit, everybody wanna take a shit i will now tell you about the poo if you dont dump the poo, the poo dumps you if you don’t drop the poo, the poo drops you y’all go to school and learn about the poo... SHIT! (Well, you’re going to have to take a dump sometime while you’re at school. If you don’t like to use the facilities here, why not try your roomates face while he’s sleeping? You could also use a sorostitute, you’d just have to pay them with money or Mike’s Hard Lemonade) To that Personals EditorI love it how you make fun of fat people because they’re fun to make fun of. What I like to do is throw junk food from my window in Tinsley and make them think it’s raining Skittles. Hahahaha, those fatties sure are funny, and stupid!
Send in your personals to:
stainey@witty.com To the guy on Liv who wants me to fuck him - dude, you’re hot and everything, and i kind of get aroused when i think about fucking your ass, but then i get scared by the thought of my dick spontaneously combusting on contact due to all the RU diseases you might have contracted by now. You’ve had more dicks in your ass than a gay porn star (and they get paid for it), and you’ve swallowed more cum than Lil Kim. Do you think i’m stupid? Even a condom would melt just being in your ass for 2 seconds...so rest assured that my cock will not be found anywhere NEAR your nasty, skankdified, cumdrenched, disease-ridden ass. Your asshole must be so stretched out by now that your shit just falls out of your ass unexpectedly. Better luck next time, guy. (Well, if it’a any consilation I think you’re stupid) To that fucking asshole who thinks it’s cool to kill people with a sniper rifle in MD. Why are you going after kids, huh? I hope the Feds catch your ass and you get raped in jail!
james, i hope you liked the dirty sanchez. every time i smell my finger now i think of you. love, dave Daily Targum: I heard you got rid of Liquid Kids, thanks a fucking lot. I hope you know that I will never read your paper again and I will be getting my money back from supporting your shitty paper. If this is true I hopethe artist who draws Liquid Kids decides to go to a good publication like this one that my personal is in right now. Rutgers loves you Liquid Kids, don’t let the shitty paper, that’s not really RU related kick you out because you rule! Long live Liquid Kids. (I would have to agree with you 100%. If Liquid Kids isn’t in the Targum anymore it’s going to lose a large portion of it’s readership. If the artist who drew Liquid Kids wanted to come to the paper I’d be happier then a freshman girl surrounded with new cock and lot of alcohol on her first weekend here) To the MediumYou make me laugh. Thank you so much. You make Rutgers worthwhile and my Wednesdays the best day of the week. Thanks!
Personals
“Note to self: Sex with blow-up doll not as good as advertised”
Flatworms have both male and female sex organs in the one animal. If you think about Drop it like it’s hot, Drop drop it like it’s hot! After you back it, that’s a great way to be. If it up then stop, LSC 1-1-3 you’re rare and you’re make you drop it like it’s hot. looking for a mate and you’re traveling alone, you don’t have to meet another female or another male. You just have to meet another one. Dear Osama Bin Laden, we all know your in America, and at Rutgers. So you don’t have to flaunt it by driving your Al Queda mobile, which just happens to be a loud ass gold Supra. The FBI or someone will catch on some day. Just pray the FBI doesn’t read the Medium. Also try not driving "This is for the ones who wobbled it the loud ass gold supra. and be puttin’ they mouth on it An (I heard OBL now goes by the Larry Henderson. So they suck everything out of it then name FBI find: Larry Henderson in they catch it and swallow it" the loud ass gold Supra) I never thought I would see worse than Mattia. I Lil’ Wayne wants you to come to this anything was wrong. RU McCracken weeks Medium Meeting. It’s 9:30 in is so stupid, it makes me room 113 of the Livingston Student want to cry. (Now see, Mattia is comical Center. at times. The characters do get into funny situations. One To all the guys that like to put to the homo that i call roomie of them might live undernew wheels, ground effects, and his bitch: please never neath the porch, that’s funny. free flowing exhaust, a rear bring your dirty ass around RU McCrackhead makes no wing, stickers, and lights on here again. your horrible sense at all. Its about as their cars. I offically term you stank makes me vomit and funny as that foreign chanRutgers Racers. Speaking as you need to shave your bush. nel here, all the text is fora car guy and an engineer, maybe then, my gay roomate eign. Oh wait that is funnier stay away from the wings can find your penis, and truly then RU McCrackhead!) they slow you down and enjoy himself on a man’s Dear dumb gay bastard that destroy your handling at high cock. p.s. i hate you sent a message last week to speeds. Oh yeah, and your (Wow, you’ve sure got a lot people that drive at Rutgers. all retarted. The free flowing to deal with. I’m sorry, but I have news for you, every exhaust lets everyone within that’s what happens when time you step off the curb, it a half mile know that, yes you live in Demarest) really is a race for your life. your car is nearly red lining at And very soon you will lose. 10 mph. And allows us to get a good look at who is driving that piece of shit. As for flashing light on the car... Well that’s just best summerized by a quote from my good friend Dawgy K, “That has to be the nicest 1976 civic I’ve ever seen.” And I don’t mean to disappoint you but stickers do not add horsepower. Maybe if you had something under the hood to back up the outside looks it would be cool. But until then try sticking to those new bike path lanes their (Haha, too many people think my adding things to their cars they look cooler. I don’t understand why someone would want neon colored washer fluid knobs or an exhaust that you can hear from a half of a mile away either) www.ilovemartinscock.com
to my love: i can’t wait to be in your arms again. i miss you. love, bublick
for more fecally obsessed music, go to your favorite cd retailer and pick up the left rights cd! from the guys you know and love at mindless self indulgence, now it’s shitty music made with a shitty multi-track recorder in 48 hours! and it’s all about shit!! To that little bitch riding the bike on Cook. Why the fuck do you have to ride so close to people, next time I see you I am going to knock you the fuck off and smash in your little flower basket.
To the two fucking hot assed lesbians down the hall, I would love to see you two go at it. Please let me videotape you dry humping against a wall.... I’m masturabating to you right now. (Ok now, why would you want to see them dry hump against a wall? Dude, your fantasies completely suck! Why not have them both want you and have a nice guy-girl-girl party? Or.. are you a girl? Because then it’s suddenly became hot)
i hate honkeys i hate honkeys i hate honkeys i hate honkeys (Oh my! That’s so mean! Why kill whitey kill whitey kill not follow her to class and whitey kill whitey i loathe just deflate her tires so she mexican french-canadians can’t ride it anymore?) and the goddamn jews.
miércoles el 16 de octubre 2002
To Jon”the cock”23: Have fun losing both yer best friends? Yea, they finally found out the lump of shit you are - as your gf soon will. Well assfuck, I’m back - I didn’t fail out of RU like you told all your cronies amongst other lies; and yeah I wrote that shit…so you send your bitchez over to talk to my man? No, he won’t steal his exsuitemate’s girlfriend and swap spit with her, that’s you, asslicker. We all know you don’t even fucking have a backbone to stand up to me, fucking piece of hairy hindu pussy eating swine that comes out of my anus. Ya, you didn’t think I knew anything cuz you acted like a pussy and said shit behind my back but guess what? I knew all that and a lot more, so “angels on your pillow” and stayed tuned motherfucker! (Sounds like a real piece of shit. We all know somebody like that and when they get what they deserve it’s a great feeling. They always get what they deserve, hahaha fuck all you assholes who have done people wrong and will get fucked over in the future. You know I’m talking about you, you personality lacking piece of shit) To that dyke down the hall with 11 piercings. I’m sorry everyone saw your cooter. just to clarify, in case you were wondering: NONE OF US LIKE YOU! (Now this is totally random, but when applied to the correct situation it’s so right) Hey Brady, I know you love fucking 3rd graders, there is no hiding it anymore. It’s no big deal atleast they’re girls.. wait.. are they girls? I hope their girls, no wait you’re fucked up they’re boys aren’t they!
To DougNext time I ask you to bring me a beer, don’t take a sip from it. I don’t care about any licorice sticks or your aunt’s picnic. (What’s wrong with taking a sip? Don’t ask him to get you a beer if you don’t want him to sip it. He is doing you a favor though, c’mon!) Hey BeanHappy 20th Birthday, I heard you got a nice present this past weekend, be sure to enjoy it! Be sure to check out the big happy fun game at:
www.themedium.net I want to send out a big fuck you to the broad that wrote asian retaliation. I'm sue you have all the curves of a 12 year old boy. I don't give a shit about your fealings and I will mock asains until it stops being hilarious.and I wouldn't hold your breath on that one. (Haha! If I were you I’d be embarassed on how bad your spelling is. I didn’t know you had “fealings” and could you tell me who the “asains” are. Your personal is too good not to edit so you’re gona look like a complete idiot in the paper. I hope you told all your friends that you’re going to be in it. By the way I’m also SURE that you’re an idiot. Learn to use spell-check before sending in your submissions, fuck-ass!)
Sifl and Olly say “Submit your personals to: stainey@witty.com”
Wednesday, October (17-1) th, 2002
“FOSTERS: Australian For COORS”
Personals
Sir Ganks-A-Lot
How bout a slogan for the medium: The medium: it takes full advantage of the first amendment and then rapes it.
I hail from the future. I'm looking for a woman who is living in the year 2002. In the year 2050, people only have sex with robots, and it just gets worse after that. I have a very large penis, because in the future men can engineer themselves any way they want. However, that being the case, nobody thinks my big penis is anything special. This is why I've returned to the year 2002. I made the trip by driving in reverse all the way from Wildwood to the Turnpike on the Parkway, stealing 35 cents from every tollbooth. It is my hope that my large penis will be of use to the primitive women of 2002. Please respond via The Personals to “Future Man”
(Hey, I got a better one for you champ, “Your fat whore mother: I pick her up at the bus station, then I knife fuck her, or “Knuck her” How’s that one, chico?) There has been a great deal of fatchick bashing in the last few issues and I wanted to weigh in, pardon the pun. Whether or not fat people are real people, fat girls are among the sexiest and nicest around. I'm getting hard just thinking of the last fat chick I had. We need more of them I don't think I've ever seen so many anorexic slores in one place before I came here. I do however think (I guess Medium EIC Martin that asains may not be real “the snake” Babitz is from people. the future) (Well, isn’t that a “mouth full”? Get it, a mouthfull?! ‘Cause fat chicks are always eating, but not eating your cock because its one inch long. And Asians are real people that can fly and race cars on Busch)
WHY IS IT THAT EVERY TIME I SEE A PRETTY WHITE GIRL, THERES ALWAYS A LITTLE ASIAN DUDE WITH HER? WTF? (well, its time you know the horrible truth: communist chinese are hoarding white whores to raise money for there red commie invasion, please, for the sake of America, jizz on as many white whores as possible to save them from these pinkos) Hulk Hogan fact #1: Hulk Hogan has confessed on several occasions to enjoy the feel of "fresh boy ass" on his "flacid penis" ( Wrestler Randy Savage actually got his name from his insatiable need to “savagely” rape infants he stole from California maternity wards in the late 1970’s, that and his competitive spirit) I have a rotting corpse under my house, I didn’t kill the chick, but I do want have sex with the body, Am I gonna go to hell? (Not if you put the body in a warm bath for 10 minutes before each “liason”, then it’s perfectly ok in the eyes of the lord)
I really love the Medium’s poetry corner. When is Karl Hungus going to take on Alexander The Poet in a sick, sick poetry contest? I would really like that. (I would really like to find out how much pudding it would take to make Rosie O’Donnel vomit out her kidneys, that and how the Sopranos are gonna end...) www.ilovemartinscock.com
Hey babyThe day is finally here. It’s going to be such a great time I promise. Anything you want, you just ask me and I’ll do everything to make it the best. I love you so much. BrianThanks for helping me out when I needed it. Anytime you want a meal contact me and I can swipe you in, as long as you can get me some alcohol!
What’s Shakin’
“the off switch broke on...”
Wednesday, October 16th, 2002
New York Wed 10/16 - Sleater-Kinney, Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Irving Plaza Wed 10/16 - Kim Richey - Bowery Ballroom Thur 10/17 - Bitch & Animal - North Six Thur 10/17, Fri 10/18 - Wilco - Roseland Ballroom Fri 10/18 - Underworld - Hammerstein Ballroom Fri 10/18 - Agents Of Man - Lamour Fri 10/18 - The Greenhornes - Bowery Ballroom Fri 10/18 - Local H - North Six Fri 10/18 - Jim Breuer, Dave Chappelle - Madison Square Garden Sat 10/19 - Jon Stewart - Beacon Theatre Sat 10/19 - Badly Drawn Boy - Roseland Ballroom Sat 10/19 - Clinic - Irving Plaza Sat 10/19 - Supersuckers - North Six Sun 10/20 - Billy Bragg - Irving Plaza Sun 10/20 - New Bomb Turks - North Six Mon 10/21 - Vanessa Carlton, Ben Lee - Irving Plaza Tues 10/22 - Taproot - Bowery Ballroom Tues 10/22, Wed 10/23 - Elvis Costello - Beacon Theatre Wed 10/23 - Atmosphere - S.O.B.’s Wed 10/23 - Skeleton Key - North Six Wed 10/23 - Reel Big Fish, The Starting Line - Irving Plaza Thur 10/24 - Rush - Madison Square Garden
whoopsie.
Don’t be a dick. Send events to
orgykarma@yahoo.com New Jersey Fri 10/18 - Kittie, Unloco - Birch Hill Fri 10/18 - Borialis - The Stone Pony Fri 10/18 - New Bomb Turks - Maxwell’s Fri 10/18 - The Movie Life, Brand New - Club Krome Sat 10/19 - Mustard Plug - Birch Hill Sat 10/19 - Splintered Sunlight - The Stone Pony Sat 10/19 - The Samples - Maxwell’s Tues 10/22 - Earshot, Secret C - Birch Hill Wed 10/23 - Gregg Allman & Friends - State Theatre Wed 10/23 - No Doubt - Continental Airlines Arena Wed 10/23 - Mike Doughty - The Stone Pony Thur 10/24 - The Mooney Suzuki - Birch Hill
After you’re done drugging small woodland animals, come to the Medium meeting. LSC 113 at 9:30 tonight. Don’t forget to bring your little friend.
Philadelphia randomness. randomness.
Wed 10/16 - Stone Temple Pilots - Electric Factory Fri 10/18 - Foo Fighters - Electric Factory Mon 10/21 - David Bowie - Tower Theatre Wed 10/23 - Melissa Ferrick - Theatre of Living Arts
http:// www.themedium.net