Royal Rouge Magazine With Tebello Sukwene

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CONTENTS Happy Womens Month

2019 Nicole Byer regularly gets asked for dating advice. “Not by my friends,” she says, “because why would you ask a person who’s single about dating? But strangers ask me so many questions. I’m like, my podcast is literally called Why Won’t You Date Me? I don’t know anything about dating!

If I knew, I would be dating somebody.”

The podcast she is referring to is one of the world’s funniest and most vulnerable; for the past two years, she has been sitting down with friends and fellow comedians to discuss her search for love, and theirs, and is soon to hit her hundredth show. As the description of the podcast has it, Byer, who is now 33, has been single for decades, despite being smart, funny and sexually voracious. Her honesty about this makes the podcast feel radical. She is open about her yearning to be loved and her frustration at how difficult it is to find the right man or woman. At a time when dating is arguably more difficult than ever, she offers candour from the trenches.

The podcast hasn’t boosted her success at dating, but she doesn’t find this surprising. “I’m not delusional,” she says. “I live in LA, where you have the creme de la creme of bodies to choose from. If you are a shallow person, body type is a thing. Being a black woman is a thing.” In 2014, OkCupid released data

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“Womanhood” redirects here.

For the Tammy Wynette song, see Womanhood (song). For other uses, see Woman (disambiguation) and Women (disambiguation).

A woman wearing a hard hat and gloves, working on an engine.

A woman working as a mechanic Part of a series on Women in society A woman is a female human being. The word woman is usually reserved for an adult; girl is the usual term for a female child or adolescent. The plural women is also sometimes used for female humans, regardless of age, as in phrases such as “women’s rights”.

Typically, a woman has two X chromosomes and is capable of pregnancy and giving birth from puberty until menopause.

Female anatomy, as distinguished from male anatomy, includes the fallopian tubes, ovaries, uterus, vulva, breasts, Skene’s glands, and Bartholin’s glands. The female pelvis is wider than the male, the hips are generally broader, and women have significantly less facial and other body hair. On average, women are shorter and less muscular than men.

Throughout human history, traditional gender roles have often defined and limited women’s activities and opportunities; many religious doctrines stipulate certain rules for women that are obligatory. With restrictions loosening during the 20th century in many societies, women have gained access to careers beyond the traditional

homemaker, and the ability to pursue higher education. Violence against women, whether within families or in communities, has a long history and is primarily committed by men. Some women are denied reproductive rights.

The movements and ideologies of feminism have a shared goal of achieving gender equality.

Some women are trans (those who have a male sex assignment that does not align with their gender identity),[1] or intersex (those born with sexual characteristics that do not fit typical notions of male or female).

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7 MOTIVATING

GYM TIPS FOR BEGINNERS 10

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These gym tips for beginners can help you reach your health goals and gain the confidence you need to keep it going.

by Mary Lambkin New to working out? You might be wondering where to start. Follow these seven gym tips for beginners to feel stronger — physically and mentally — before and after every gym session.

1. Be Proud Before diving into the practical gym tips for beginners, remember that the most important exercise catalyst is confidence.

Whether you’re lifting 100 pounds or 1 pound, you should be proud of yourself for showing up at the gym at all! Don’t be intimidated by others or scared to ask for help.

Remember that everyone at the gym was once in your shoes. Those first few workouts, no matter how “easy” they are in terms of physical intensity, are often the most mentally challenging. Be proud, remain confident and trust that your gym skills and fitness savvy will increase over time.

all members through PE@PF. These small group sessions are led by certified trainers and can teach you basic weight-training and workout movements.

Additionally, most Planet Fitness locations offer a 30-minute Express Circuit training option that can guide you through a fullbody workout.

3. Work Hard If you’re not sweating by the end of your workout, perhaps you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough. Try to reach an “out of breath” state at least once during your workout by incorporating high-intensity movements like sprinting, jumping jacks, burpees or squat jumps.

4. Ask How Instead of shying away from exercises or equipment you’re unfamiliar with, ask a gym employee or fellow gym-goer for help. Utilize resources like ACE Fitness’ exercise library and the CDC’s workout videos for tips on form and technique.

Another good idea is working with a certified trainer to help familiarize yourself with the gym layout and draft a workout plan.

2. Stay Strong Beginners often flock to the treadmills and stationary cycles because these machines are easy for all ages and ability levels. But don’t get stuck in a cardio rut — try incorporating at least two days of strength training into your weekly 5. Eat Up routine. If you aren’t Working out won’t yield feeling ready to explore the results if your diet isn’t weight room, remember in check, too. Replace that bodyweight exercises unhealthy foods with can be just as effective at healthy alternatives and try building strength. to cut back on sugar. A good Not really sure where to start? place to start is following the Try one of Planet Fitness’ USDA’s recommendation unlimited, free fitness of filling at least half of training sessions offered to

your plate with fruits and vegetables.

It’s a good idea to prepare before (and refuel after) every workout with highprotein snacks like nuts, yogurt, deli meat, hummus and cottage cheese. Of course, maintaining a balanced diet will help you meet your fitness goals, but it’s also realistic to enjoy an indulgence here and there!

6. Be Realistic Losing weight, gaining strength, boosting endurance and increasing flexibility are all long-term goals — so don’t expect to reach ultimate strength in a single week. Be realistic about the goals you set for yourself. For example, see if you can add five more pounds to your shoulder press or shave ten seconds off of your mile time within a month.

7. Rest and Repeat Even the most experienced athletes appreciate the importance of rest after a hard workout. Try to get eight hours of sleep every night, take at least one rest day a week and always walk into the gym ready to repeat another solid workout.

Once you get into a routine, you’ll graduate from your “beginner” status in no time.

As always, please consult with a physician prior to beginning any exercise program. See full medical disclaimer here.

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EVERYTHING YOUR BODY

NEEDS

• I sat inside and the top of the chamber was covered with a towel. It was just my head which was out of the chamber.

• This post is in addition to the previous post, where we shared about our experiences at a wonderful property called Vythiri Holiday Resort. If you missed it, have a look at it.

• Best (budget) Vacation You Can Have | Vythiri Holiday Resort • After we returned from the tiring and awesome trekking, which Ashish took us to, all we wanted was a perfect Ayurveda Spa treatment for our bodies. It was pretty nice on Ashish that he offered us a good discount at Punarjani Ayurveda Spa, which is part of the Vythiri Holiday Resort.

• The moment we entered the Spa, we were warmly greeted by the staff there. They made us comfortable and got us water. They handed us their menu card which had all the list of services they offer. Most of it was self-explanatory, but the staff was proactive in explaining it to us. They helped us choose the right option depending on what we need. While I went ahead with the full-body massage, my friend went ahead with Abhangam.

• Not to miss, they have separate experts for male and female. The massage rooms are also separate. The only thing I saw missing was the fact that they have one massage room for male and one for female. The waiting time would be an issue if a bigger group would like to get it done.

• Coming back to my experience of the massage. I was taken to the massage room and was handed a langoti (this is a traditional underwear). I went to the washroom and changed to that tiny piece on my body. It might feel a little uncomfortable if you are getting this done for the first time, but have faith in the process.

• I was asked to lie down on the traditional wooden massage table and the warm oil was poured on my back. The entire process took approx 60 minutes and I just cannot share the way my body was feeling. It was de-stressing, relaxing and amazing to the body. After the massage was done, I was asked if I would like to go for a steam bath. Of course, I said yes.

• There was this traditional wooden chamber with a chair inside. I sat inside and the top of the chamber was covered with a towel. It was just my head which was out of the chamber. This was my first experience with a steam bath like that.

• Overall, it was an amazing experience at Punarjani Ayurveda Spa. Ashish informed me of some week-long programmes organized by Punarjani Ayurveda for De-stressing and Yoga. I would certainly be interested to join a programme like that in the future.

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WEAR TO IMPRESS

Whether we like it or not, how we look and how we dress affects how we are perceived by others.

That’s why in business, it is so important to project the right image through your fashion. So, I have reached out to the CarolRoth.com contributor network of business owners, experts, advisors and entrepreneurs to find out their best advice for dressing to impress in business. Their answers are presented below in no particular order.

You may notice some similar ideas listed, but I kept them separate, as something in the way one is framed may resonate differently with you.

This article is sponsored by one of Carol’s favorite brands: Number 35. Number 35 makes gorgeous clothes for professionals (Carol has worn them many times on TV!) and they have also provided their own business fashion advice: “The most fundamental rule for dressing is to know your own style and to recognize its possibilities and limitations. It is important to adopt a mode of dressing that is simple, tasteful and elegant and that accentuates your own character and personality. The result is a new inner confidence and the means to achieve and succeed without boundaries.”

1. Dress Comfortably Dress comfortably, but don’t dress like a slob if you want to dress to impress. First of all, follow the protocol in your office. If jeans are allowed, then wear nice jeans (darker are better) - ones without holes or frays. Dress as though you were going to meet the CEO of the company or customers for the day. That way, you will look like you care about your appearance, which will impress others. Also, dark clothing is reported to make you look more professional.

Thanks to: Becky Boyd of MediaFirst.

2. Shine Those Shoes!!!

One of the best pieces of advice for both men and women trying to impress a client, boss or in an interview is attention to detail.

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so my simple advice is to make sure that your shoes are shined and looking their best.

The first step to being sharp is looking sharp and that starts with your shoes!

Thanks to: Doug Hecker of 2 Excel Now, LLC. 3. Black or Blue: It Suits You When it comes to dressing for SUCCESS, the easiest and most widely accepted attire is a blue or black suit. This would be applicable for men or women. Now that said, dressing up the suit with some color is a good idea as well. A colored shirt or blouse and complementary tie or jewelry can make the look complete. Invest in a tailored suit in each color and you will make it very easy to decide for yourself what to wear every day.

Thanks to: Myles Miller of SUCCESSHQ.

business situations.

Thanks to: Leonard Scott of Leonard Scott & Company.

or suit.

Thanks to: Jim Taggart of Taggart Leadership Consulting Inc.

5. You Look Good to You. So? Professional is in the eyes of the beholder. Be sure that you dress in a way that looks professional according to the situation, customer/prospect, place, conditions, etc. Making a fashion statement is not as important as making a sale. Being comfortable is not as valuable as making your customer comfortable. Standing out is not as critical as being invited in. As in all things -- the customer is always right.

Thanks to: Janet Christy of Leverage & Development, LLC.

7. Comfort before Style When you “dress up” for business, I recommend that you favor physical and emotional comfort before style. If wearing high heels or tons of make-up makes you feel like you’re wearing a costume, then don’t do it.

Otherwise, your focus will be divided when you have your meeting and you may appear uneasy to others.

Also, your clothes should not be the primary focus of those you are meeting.

If people are paying more attention to your clothes than they are to you, you’ve missed the mark!

Thanks to: Monique Y. Wells of Understanding Time Management.

6. Clean Up Your Act! How times have changed when it comes to dressing professionally in the workplace. Where do I 4. Always Dress Up and start? I could suggest Not Down that males need to be When in doubt, wear a cleanly shaven - get rid suit and tie. If you are sure of this stubble nonsense. that business casual will Or tuck your shirt in. No, be OK, wear a starched my suggestion is wear a dress shirt, dark trousers, tie. This is heresy to Virgin an appropriately matched Group founder Richard cashmere sweater, and Branson. However, a polished shoes. Jeans and properly tied tie makes for a T-shirt never impress. a strong impression when Stay away from these in all worn with a sports jacket

Be Memorable!

Wear appropriate business attire, but let your personality and individuality shine through! Whether your signature piece is a pin or a scarf, or even a belt, let your presentation pop with a more noteworthy accessory. But don’t get carried away...too many embellishments can clutter up an outfit and end up looking overdone.

And never ever chew gum.

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Ever.

Thanks to: Kendra Kroll of Undercover Solutions, LLC.

of a positive one.

Thanks to: Leanne Hoagland-Smith of ADVANCED SYSTEMS.

Pack.

13. Bling isn’t the Thing Women shouldn’t wear too many bracelets 9. One Notch Above 11. Meeting Shoes! during meetings. They The concept of dressing On those cold winter days tend to jingle, knock for success is: Dress one when you have to wear against desks and women notch above the customer. boots (that’s for about often play with them, If your customer is on the four months around here), which is distracting and beach, on a construction bring your shoes to the can be perceived as site or farming in the field, meeting. Find a washroom unprofessional. a 3 piece suit is out of where you can change Thanks to: David Brimm of place- a far more casual them or even in the lobby BrimmComm, Inc. dress is appropriate. If or waiting room of their your client wears Armani, office. And don’t be shy to 14. Make Every Day then you should too. bring along a bag in case Halloween!

Be sure that whatever you need to carry your Simply put, I really do wear you wear, it is clean, free mucky boots with you. a costume! It is part of my of stains and fits well.

Thanks to: David branding and it certainly Women, watch that too Leonhardt of THGM stands out in the Sea of tight fit, distractions are ghostwriting.

Sameness. Who could distractions and generally forget “The Colonel” reduce the influence 12. Stand Out to be arriving in pink fatigues power.

Remembered and combat boots to talk Thanks to: Harlan Goerger Can you incorporate office etiquette? No one. It of H. Goerger & Assoc dba your corporate identity makes people smile, too, AskHG. into your professional which is always the way to appearance? Look around go in the business world.

10. Red is Timeless most networking events Not only do people have a The color red is timeless and you will be greeted by strong, positive emotional and continues to attract an array of grey suits; wear reaction to my outfit, but positive attention. A red something more colorful it opens them up to really jacket, red blouse or and you stand out. I’m hearing my message even a red scarf may just known as the lady in teal about practicing courtesy provide the professional because I usually wear in the workplace. edge for women in today’s a jacket or dress in the Thanks to: Anthonette business world. For men, color of my logo. It makes Klinkerman of Courtesy it may be a red tie or a red me stand out and helps Bootcamp™. handkerchief in the breast me to be remembered. pocket. The one rule to People comment if I ever 15. Professional Doesn’t remember is to match the wear a different color!

Mean Dull red outfit with one’s age Professional dress doesn’t You can still dress or meeting environment. have to be boring. appropriately & be fun!

Failure to do so may make Thanks to: Glenda Professional looking does a negative impact instead Shawley of The Training not mean boring! Spruce 16

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up your clothes with interesting accessories.

I wear a tie that has painted pistachio shells. It is a guaranteed conversation starter!

Being in healthcare, I have a tie with anatomical sketches – I have people waiting in line to view the tie! The anatomical tie also has a version for women (scarves with anatomical sketches). Look for unique ties/scarves, buttons, etc.

Don’t blend in - stand out!

Thanks to: Edward Leigh of Center for Healthcare Communication.

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Dressing in a suit is great, but everyone wears one.

Going Zuck and wearing a hoodie is fine too, but it’s the anti-suit that everyone is wearing. You have to make it your own. Add jewelry, shoes, a crazy shirt, a crazy belt, or a QR code! Do something that helps you stand out from the crowd. Your outfit is your visual resume. I generally wear bright red lipstick and often, red shoes. Simple, but people remark on it and remember it. It is simple, yet bold. What makes you memorable?

Thanks to: Lauren MacEwen of SM Cubed Consulting.

18. Cut the Mohawk To avoid an unfortunate bias, job searchers must Be Yourself! spend time focusing on I think that you need to their outward appearance. brand yourself; what you While a mohawk, tattoos wear goes along with and many piercings may that... just like Carol Roth speak for individuality, if wears a tie. I would not. you’re applying to work You have to be yourself! in a traditional work With my casual clients, I environment, it may be may wear jeans and tennis more of a hindrance. shoes; for my business suit Hiring managers may clients, I may wear a nice find it easier to like those pants suit. I personally that are similar to them. don’t do the skirt and high Do your research - find heel thing. It’s not me. out what the existing Thanks to: Gwen Hawver employees wear to work of Vision Interface. and the image that is projected as their brand.

17. Dress to Impress Thanks to: Peter Polachi of Yourself Polachi Access Executive

Search.

19. Always Wear a Smile My business has several clothing articles with our logo. We strongly suggest using them in most cases and therefore, as owner, I wear the branded items as well. It gives our staff and myself a sense of unity and aids customers in identifying us and our brand. During all other public events, my personal rule is to look classic and professional.

Although a personal style is a good thing, it shouldn’t overshadow your personality and why people connect with you.

Always finish off with a SMILE. Thanks to: Teri Blaschke of Hidden Valley RV Park.

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Stepping Out! Don’t underestimate the importance of how you

appreciate it and you will be better prepared.

Thanks to: Ben Baker of CMYK Solutions Inc.

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T

ebello Sukwene born in Ekurhuleni, grew up in Kwa-Thema and Tsakane.

Previously known as Priscilla/ Tebello Moeketsi and was Born in a family that Loves God and Music. She is married to Bafana Sukwene and blessed with three beautiful children Paballo, Siyabulela and Mahle.

She stared singing at the age of 8 with her aunt playing guitar. In 1994 Tebello joined the SCO choir, the school choral choir as well as other gospel groups, proving the passion she had for music.She would enter school talent shows and always come out on top...She entered the “Reach For The Stars” competition and she made it to the finals.

Tebello was part of a group of three girls called Amtoti and they recorded an album under Bula music.

She had an opportunity to work with Mr Zako and featured on his album, on a song called “Ndilindile” Tebello became the new face of Malaika only while their lady singer went on maternity leave. Her musical journey continued to grow and she got to work with the best of SA’s artists.

She released her debut album titled “He’s Alive” which was number on iTunes gospel charts and is currently in the top hundred.

Songwriter! She also wrote songs on her album “He is alive” Like “Jesus is Alive”, Mmeli Wam, Save Me, Have Your Way, and more..... She also wrote songs for the likes of Jazziel Brothers, Benjamin Dube, Nqubeko Mbatha & Xolani Sithole

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he recorded her debut album titled “He’s Alive” at the Soweto theater on the 17th of November 2013 which was released on the 13th of October 2014.The album was number one on the SA iTunes gospel charts in the first week of release and is still in the top hundred since the day of release.

Hlongwane; Ntokozo Mbambo; Joyous celebration; Dominion; Benjamin Dube; Lira; One Gospel-(In Concert with); 3 Talk and He’s Alive Tour.

Live DVD/CD recordings: Jabu Hlongwane-(Cross power 1& 2); Ntokozo Mbambo-(Keep On Believing); Simphiwe Dana-(In Concert With); Joyous celebration 13 to 16; Nqubeko Mabatha-(Sentiments Of A Worshiper); Lira(A Celebration And Tebello has done The Captured Tour) countless number of Vuka Africa tribute to shows in different parts Busi Mhlongo withof the country & abroad (Simphiwe Dana,Sbongile and also did live & studio Khumalo); Benjamin recordings in South Africa. Dube-(Renewal In His Presence & Sanctified In Live shows: Sizwe ZakoHis Presence). (joy of jazz); Rebecca Studio recordings: Malope; Malaika; Jazziel brothers (ft. & Simphiwe Dana; Jabu songwriting); Sizwe Zako;

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Dominion; Simphiwe Dana (one love movement and Kulture noir) Rebecca Malope.

Radio co-presenting: Radio VERITAS and Ek FM and Rainbow FM. She is a SAMA XXI Nominee for Best Contemporary Faith Music Album.

She is SABC Crown Gospel Awards for Best Gospel Album.

Now she has released the hit single “Ofana Naye” Which got south africa going on and on with the longest challenge we’ve never seen!! South Africa’s finest Such as Gugu Gumede, Brenda Mhlongo, Duma Ntando and many others gave Tebello a beautiful suprise when they also took On the Challenge!

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PLACE YOUR

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FOR ONLY R200pm

064 468 7294 royalrougeumbrella@gmail.com ROYAL ROUGE MAGAZINE | 2019 | WWW.ROYALROUGE.CO.ZA

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Bunny Chow

A Dish That African Loves

Bunny chow – well, it has nothing to do with bunnies as the name suggests. As far as history is concerned, Bunny chow originated from Indian workers working in South Africa’s sugar plantations.

The workers would use their bread as a bowl and scoop out the inside of the bread to stuff them with various types of food items – curries, chicken, vegetables or mashed potatoes. This was a famous dish amongst the Indian laborers in those days. However, as the years progressed, the dish with its Indian origins, lost its existence in India – the land of diverse cuisines. The irony!

With the dish now getting global acclaim in countries like australia, the u.S, and the uk, the dish is most famous and popular in durban, south africa. The dish has a lot of varieties as reinvented by many chefs in south africa and is quite popular amongst the citizens. While the indians left, they left behind their most favorite food item back in south africa. Guess, that is why it’s no longer existent in india anymore.

Almost a century ago, to attract the indian laborers, an indian owner had started a small vegetarian restaurant called the patel vegetarian refreshment room in durban with the main focus on one particular dish – the

mouth-watering bunny chow oozing with spicy curry.

When asked about the origins of the bunny chow, mr. Patel had an interesting story to offer.

According to mr. Patel “earlier, black people were not allowed to eat in the same place as the white. To not lose out on black customers, rambhai morar patel, the first owner of this restaurant, started serving them curry and bread in a bowl outside the restaurant. But the bowls would keep getting misplaced and so, he came up with the idea of hollowing out the loaf and pouring the curry in it.”

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While how the dish was created is still speculated, the key highlight is the fact that the dish with its Indian origins has lost its place in the Indian subcontinent.

For a good bunny chow, Indians need to travel to Durban.

So, this seems like an important aspect for the food industry in India to consider right now – bringing back this ancient food item that has won the hearts of millions all over the world.

It is time to bring the Bunny Chow back home, where it belongs!

METHOD Rub the garam masala, turmeric, black pepper, salt, coriander, cumin and cayenne pepper into the chicken thighs. Place in the fridge to marinate for 20 minutes.

Heat a large pan or shallow casserole over high heat and add the onion, celery, garlic, ginger, bay leaves, kaffir lime leaves, chilli, cardamom and cinnamon. Drizzle in some extra virgin olive oil and season with salt. Stir to coat in the oil and sweat off for a few minutes until softened.

Add the rendang curry paste and marinated chicken and stir thoroughly to coat.

Add the coconut milk, chicken stock, potatoes and coriander, stir well, then reduce the heat to a simmer and cover with a lid. Let cook for about 20 minutes.

In a small bowl, make a salsa by mixing together the capsicum, spring onion, cucumber and lime juice with a little olive oil. Set aside.

Cut the loaf of bread in half and hollow out each half, reserving the dough from each.

Fill the hollowed out bread with the curry, sprinkle with the salsa, and serve with the reserved dough.

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Bunny Chow Serves 4

Time 1 hour Ingredients 4 chicken thigh fillets, diced 2 tsp garam masala 2 tsp turmeric 2 tsp black pepper 1 tsp salt 1 tsp ground coriander 1 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp cayenne pepper 1 large white onion, finely diced 1 stick celery, finely diced 4 cloves garlic, crushed 1 tsp fresh ginger, grated 2 bay leaves 2 kaffir lime leaves 1 long red chilli, finely sliced 2 dried cardamom pods 1 cinnamon stick 3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil -cup rendang curry paste 1 cup coconut milk 2 cups chicken stock 2 cups potatoes, cubed -cup fresh coriander, roughly chopped -red capsicum, finely diced 2 spring onion, finely sliced 1 cucumber, finely diced Juice of ½ lime 1 unsliced loaf of white bread

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The

Aussie Breakfast Ultimate Method

Serves 1-2

Time 30 minutes Ingredients 1 cup macadamias 2 tsp vegemite 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil -cup sesame seeds 2 tbsp coriander seeds 2 tbsp cumin seeds 1 tsp chilli flakes

To Serve: 2 slices sourdough, toasted 1 tsp butter 1 tsp vegemite -avocado, thinly sliced 2 eggs, poached Salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 160°C. Place macadamias on a baking tray and roast for 10 minutes.

Mix the vegemite the olive oil together in a small jug then drizzle over the macadamias and mix to coat evenly. Add the sesame seeds, coriander seeds, cumin seeds and chilli and mix well with your hands so everything is evenly distributed. Return to the oven for 5-10 minutes until slightly golden but not burnt.

Add the dukkah mix to a food processor and blitz until crumbly.

To serve, butter two slices of toasted sourdough with butter and vegemite and top with avocado and poached eggs. Season with salt and pepper, then scatter over a few spoonfuls of the dukkah.

Remaining dukkah can be stored in an airtight jar in the fridge for two weeks.

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Why marriage seems harder now than ever before Eli J. Finkel, a professor at Northwestern University and the author of “The All-or-Nothing Marriage,” explains three different ways you can strengthen your relationship.

We have arrived at a moment in history where the best marriages are better than the best marriages of earlier eras, while at the same time, the average marriages are getting a little bit worse. Historians divide marriage in America into three different eras.

There’s sort of, from the Colonial Era until about 1850, when we industrialized, the second era is from about 1850 to 1965 or so, and then we are currently in this third era.

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Have you ever heard someone tell you 50% of all marriages end in divorce? That most of the marriages which do survive are unhappy? And that the divorce rate within the church is no better than the divorce rate in the world?

Well, I have good news for you.

None of those statements are true!

In 2014, a Harvard-trained researcher named Shaunti Feldhahn, published a book entitled “The Good News About Marriage.” In it, she reported her findings from an extensive

eight year study on marriage and divorce. According to Feldhahn: The divorce rate of first time marriages is around 20-25%, and has actually been declining for decades.

Most couples are happy. In fact, 80% of those who have been married for 5 years or more report being happy.

The divorce rate among couples who attend church regularly is as much as 50% lower than those who don’t.

You can read more about her study in this post at Western Journalism from a couple years back.

Another article by Dr. David Stoop cites an even more shocking statistic: the divorce rate among couples who pray together on a daily basis is less than one per thousand. That makes prayer an almost fool-proof way to secure your marriage! Unfortunately, he cites another statistic: only 4% of Christian couples actually do pray...

How to Get Started Here’s a few tips to help you get your partner to join with you in this vitally important practice: 1. Be hopeful. Don’t use guilt to motivate your partner to pray with you. Rather, be positive and optimistic. Invite them with a smile. If they are unwilling at first, stay cheerful. Begin praying privately that God will work in their heart, and invite them again another time.

2. Start with a challenge. Join with your church in doing a 30-day marriage challenge or something similar. Making a commitment to do something everyday for the rest of your life can seem overwhelming. A shorter goal may be more appealing. And if your partner enjoys the experience, they may just want to continue.

3. Keep it short. People are busy these days, and trying to squeeze in an extra hour a day for prayer can be tough. So instead, ease into it, even if that means keeping it to 5 minutes a day or less. Refuse to hold your spouse hostage to long prayers. As prayer becomes a more regular part of your lives, the time may gradually increase, but let it happen naturally.

4. Be flexible. While it is best to schedule a regular time for prayer, and skipping days now and then is a sure fire way to break a good habit, stuff happens.

Be flexible when your spouse can’t meet with you, or wants to postpone/reschedule. A failure to be gracious in such situations will turn your prayer time together into a duty or obligation. Don’t let that happen!

What Do We Pray About?

Some people feel uncomfortable praying with their partner, because their partner’s prayers seem more directed at them than God. One way to avoid that is to learn how to focus on praying blessings.

Don’t whisper a word that might make your partner feel judged or condemned. If issues need to be addressed, find a different time to discuss them. Keep your prayer time as loving and supportive as possible.

Don’t pour out your heartaches and anxieties. Your spouse may not know how to deal with that kind of pressure. Save those for your private time with God. He can handle any burdens.

Don’t come with a long laundry list of personal requests. If there are one or two urgent matters that are important to both of you, don’t ignore them. But don’t make these your focus.

Rather, learn to pray blessings.

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The

POWER

OF PRAYER IN

MARRIAGE

By Dan Vis Have you ever heard someone tell you 50% of all marriages end in divorce? That most of the marriages which do survive are unhappy? And that the divorce rate within the church is no better than the divorce rate in the world? Well, I have good news for you. None of those statements are true!

In 2014, a Harvard-trained researcher named Shaunti Feldhahn, published a book entitled “The Good News About Marriage.” In it, she reported her findings from an extensive eight year study on marriage and divorce. According to Feldhahn: The divorce rate of first time marriages is around 20-25%, and has actually been declining for decades.

Most couples are happy. In fact, 80% of those who have been married for 5 years or more report being happy.

The divorce rate among couples who attend church regularly is as much as 50% lower than those who don’t.

You can read more about her study in this post at Western Journalism from a couple years back.

Another article by Dr. David Stoop cites an even more shocking statistic: the divorce rate among couples who pray together on a daily basis is less than one per thousand. That makes prayer an almost fool-proof way to secure your marriage!

Unfortunately, he cites another statistic: only 4% of Christian couples actually do pray...

How to Get S tarted

Here’s a few tips to help you get your partner to join with you in this vitally important practice: 34

ROYAL ROUGE MAGAZINE | 2019 | WWW.ROYALROUGE.CO.ZA

1. Be hopeful. Don’t use guilt to motivate your partner to pray with you.

Rather, be positive and optimistic. Invite them with a smile. If they are unwilling at first, stay cheerful. Begin praying privately that God will work in their heart, and invite them again another time.

2. Start with a challenge.

Join with your church in doing a

30-day

marriage challenge or something similar. Making a commitment to do something everyday for the rest of your life can seem overwhelming.

A shorter goal may be more appealing. And if your partner enjoys the experience, they may just want to continue.

3. Keep it short. People are busy these days, and trying to squeeze in an extra hour a day for prayer can be tough. So instead, ease into it, even if that means keeping it to 5 minutes a day or less. Refuse to hold your spouse hostage to long prayers. As prayer becomes a more regular part of your lives, the time

may gradually increase, but let it happen naturally.

4. Be flexible. While it is best to schedule a regular time for prayer, and skipping days now and then is a sure fire way to break a good habit, stuff happens. Be flexible when your spouse can’t meet with you, or wants to postpone/reschedule.

A failure to be gracious in such situations will turn your prayer time together into a duty or obligation.

Don’t let that happen!

know how to deal with that kind of pressure. Save those for your private time with God. He can handle any burdens.

Don’t come with a long laundry list of personal requests. If there are one or two urgent matters that are important to both of you, don’t ignore them.

But don’t make these your focus.

Rather, learn to pray blessings.

Thank God for qualities you admire in your spouse. Express gratitude for things they have done that you like. Celebrate the positive ways your spouse makes you feel. And then Some people feel ask God to do special uncomfortable praying with their partner, because things for your partner: protect them, guide their partner’s prayers them, give them wisdom, seem more directed at success, happiness. Pray them than God. One way they would feel God’s to avoid that is to learn presence throughout the how to focus on praying day--His peace, love, and blessings. joy. Don’t just pray with them, pray for them.

Don’t whisper a word Use your prayer time to that might make your practice focusing your partner feel judged or mind on the most kind, condemned. If issues caring thoughts you can need to be addressed, muster. Eventually, those find a different time to feelings will spill out from discuss them. Keep your your prayer time into the prayer time as loving and rest of the day. And your supportive as possible. marriage will be stronger Don’t pour out your heartaches and anxieties. and richer as a result!

Your spouse may not

What Do We Pray About?

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3 LUXURY FA MILY HOTELS Treat your family to a getaway at one of the UK’s finest foodie hotels. Whether travelling with babies, teens or in-laws, there’s something to suit everyone.

Lympstone Manor, Devon Best for… tweens

From the chauffeured arrival to the hot towels waiting at the grand entrance of this GradeII listed Georgian manor, it’s clear that this is a deliciously grown-up getaway. The hotel was recently revamped at the inimitable hand of chef Michael Caines, fresh from his 21-year tenure at Gidleigh Park in Devon.

In the guest rooms, gleaming trays of Williams gin, tonics, lemonade and cookies, and free-standing copper baths (complete with L’Occitane bath bombs) provide 36

exemplary pre-dinner R&R. For bolder bathers, the little picket-fenced terraces of Lympstone Manor’s 12 garden suites come with showpiece outdoor tubs. Beyond, 28 acres of manicured gardens slope to the Exe Estuary (watch this space for a vineyard). Its colours – muted greys, sage greens, silty blues – inform guest-room decor, each of which is named after a wetland bird. In the main house, those birds perch prettily up along the central stairwell on handpainted wallpaper, and in the lobby beyond, swinging

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birdcage chairs are supremely selfie-worthy.

In the estuary-view bar, a made-to-order virgin peach lychini, classic champagne cocktails and truly artful amuse-bouche entertain all ages while menus are poured over.

The eight-course Signature Tasting Menu (£140) can be adapted to include dishes from à la carte, estuary (fish/veggie) and kid’s menus; bespoke treatment encouraging adventurous young diners.

Accessible standouts that wowed all were velvety roast Brixham scallop, luxuriant Cornish salt cod with chorizo, and an ingenious white chocolate candle – edible, all but the wick.

The classic breakfast – kippers, full English – is executed with restraint, so you’re not too full for a trip along the Exe Estuary Trail on the hotel’s fleet of elegant-if-bone-shaking Pashley bikes.

Just a 15-minute ride to Exmouth offers kitesurfing – or at least the reliably breathtaking sight of locals who are at it – then lunch at Mitch

Tonks’ Rockfish. Or, head north to the village of Lympstone and beyond for a string of great pubs and nature reserves.

How to do it

Book doubles at Lympstone Manor from £305 per night including breakfast; £60 extra for a child’s bed. High tea available from 5-6.30pm for younger guests. Babysitting available on request.

Review by Sarah Barrell

The Four S easons, Hampshire Best for… tots & school-agers

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Acres of frosted fields surround this red-bricked Georgian mansion house hotel where ponies roam and children are greeted on arrival with a treasure chest of toys. If you’re lucky, the estate’s Labrador, Oliver Beckington, will make an appearance, and if this isn’t a sweet enough welcome, personalised cookies await in your room. Spacious with beautiful garden views, rooms have vast beds, cots at no extra charge, Nespresso coffee machines and biscuits, a basket with baby bubbles, creams, nappies and miniature bath robes.

Venture outside to discover a pink-painted cottage devoted to kids’ games (air hockey, PlayStations); the HQ for the complimentary Children’s Programme, where children aged 3-10 can try everything from treasure hunts to kite-flying, crafts and movies. This leaves parents plenty of time to enjoy the spa’s adult-only pool area, or a quiet drink in the library where you can order soothing cocktails. Try the Garden – Silent Pool gin, crème de violette, lemon and homegrown lavender. With children in tow, the main swimming pool is warm enough for the youngest of babies with plenty of armbands and toys to hand.

Food here is equally well thought out. Babies up to 18-months have their own complimentary menu, which offers a variety of meals from tiny pasta cooked in chicken broth to vegetable and fruit purées. The breakfast buffet has a dedicated children’s section while Book double rooms at The Four Sunday’s ‘From the Market’ lunch Seasons from £300 per night; sees under-fives eat free and older complimentary rollaway beds or children enjoying a generous cribs can be added; suites (sleepbuffet of favourites for £15. Adults ing four-five) £600, both include can indulge in a glass of chambreakfast. Paid activities include pagne, beautifully-cooked local horseriding lessons, treetop admeats carved to order, plus endless venture trail and zip line. sides, starters and desserts for £70 Review by Lily Barclay per person.

How to do it

Cowley Manor, Cotswolds Best for… new parents

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19th

This -century Cotswolds country house has been tastefully modernised, notably with a luxury two-pool spa that has an extensive menu of pre- and postnatal treatments, plus dedicated swimming hours for children. Kids will also love

exploring the grounds (complimentary Hunter wellies available) and for rainy days there are cosy rooms in which to play DVDs and board games. For grown-up relaxation time, the hotel can contact friendly local babysitters.

Hungry children are made to feel at home, right down to fresh milk in the mini-bar. Little ones can eat from their own menu of

favourites in the comfortable bar (with room to run around) but are also made welcome in the flagship Malt Restaurant, where locally sourced produce (lamb shank, the highlight) makes for a comforting English menu. A hearty breakfast table is included for all guests, and baby needs and allergies are catered for.

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Must Visit Places In South Africa to Add to Your Itinerary South Africa is a phantasmagorical display of alluring landscapes, an amicable atmosphere and a melting pot of diversity. One cannot fathom to scrape the surface of the natural beauty and splendor of this resilient country which offers a plethora of activities and attractions to create an enviable travel itinerary. Become a local jet setter or uncover the undeniable charm of this country with the list of top 25 places to visit in South Africa.

Cathedral Peak, KwaZulu Natal

Bordered by the wilderness areas of Mdedeleo and Mlambonja of the Drakensberg, Cathedral Peak is a haven for hikers, nature lovers, rock climbers and mountain bikers boasting a selection of winding trails tailored to your level of experience. Be captivated by the mountain sceneries and valleys of wonder peppered with streams, waterfalls and tranquil pools which invite you for a refreshing dip along with your trek. Stand still in the serenity of the mountains and enjoy the sights and sounds of nature.

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2. Van Stadens Wildflower Reserve, Eastern Cape

zebras and much more. The evening brings forths a tapestry of red, purple and yellow hues providing a perfectly instagrammable moment.

Take a hike into the scenic beauty of Van Stadens Nature Reserve which offers trails tailored to your level of experience.

The various paths introduce hikers to the diverse and lush flora of South Africa from the old-growth native trees of the thick forest to the colourful blooms of the Step back in history and uncover the stories at the KwaZulu-Natal Battlefields proteas. Along the way, there are picnic Route which is home to 82 battlefields, spots among the serenity of nature. old fortifications and museums. During the 19th century, the site was where the historic battles occurred between the British, Boers and Zulus and are the As the warm African sun touches the largest concentration of war-related sites plain of the national park, the sandstone in South Africa. cliffs come alive in glowing shades of gold giving the park its appropriate name. Wildlife is in abundance including the black wildebeest, eland oribi,

4. The KwaZulu Natal Battlefields Routes

3. Golden Gate Highlands National Park, Free State

5. Kalk Bay Harbour, Western Cape

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Visit the quirky seaside village of Kalk Bay which is an eccentric mix of bohemian boutique stores, vintage book rooms, cobblestoned streets, antique galleries, quaint cafes and historic buildings.

The Kalk Bay Harbour is a bustling landmark which is rich in history and teeming with character and charm offering a myriad of attractions. Be captivated by the sunset views from the pier, catch glimpses of the resident seals or tuck into an authentic fish and chips meal at Kalky’s.

6. Mac Mac Falls, Mpumalanga We know the band, TLC adviced not to chase waterfalls, but waterfall hunting in South Africa opens the door for unforgettable off the beaten track road

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trips uncovering hidden gems, much like Mac Mac Falls. Mac Mac has two falls which plunge into a picturesque gorge offering a picture postcard ready scenery. The falls are also home to a selection of pools where visitors can take a dip in the refreshing water or opt to have a braai at one of the picnic spots.

7. Stellenbosch, Western Cape

In search of the perfect road trip? Take a drive to the quaint town of Stellenbosch which is one of the oldest European settlements in the Western Cape. Stellenbosh is characterised by cobbled streets lined by Cape Dutch-style houses capturing the old-world charm

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of the past while offering a selection of modern amenities and attractions.

8. Thompson’s Bay Beach, KwaZulu Natal

Nestled between Ballito and Chakas Rock you will find the hidden cove of Thompson’s Bay Beach which offers travellers a brief respite from the busyness of the city life.

Relax along the soft sandy beaches while listening to the rhythmic crashed of the waves or take a refreshing dip in the inviting waters of the tidal pool while soaking in the views over the ocean. A visit to Thompson’s Bay Beach is fun for the whole family.

9. West Coast National Park, Western Cape

Looking for a truly authentic outdoor experience of the Western Cape? Uncover the surreal beauty of West Coast National Park which is an enchanting display of secret beaches, spellbindingly beautiful landscapes and braai spots. The sceneries form the perfect backdrop for endless hours of outdoor and watersport activities. During the months of spring, the terrain is blanketed in a kaleidoscope of wildflowers turning the place into a natural oasis

of splendour.

10. Ushaka Marine World, KwaZulu Natal

Ushaka Marine World is a hub of fun-filled familyfriendly entertainments and introduces travellers to the diverse and colourful marine life of the Indian Ocean. The open Ocean exhibit transports guests into an underwater paradise gazing upon the likes of tuna, Dorado and ray. Tackle the exhilarating water slides of Wet ‘n Wild or go snorkelling through the technicolour reefs.

11. Franschhoek, Western Cape

The Franschhoek Valley is an amazing wine region back dropped by majestic mountains and lush vineyards. Meander through the streets of the town and uncover the rich history of European influence which is prevalent in buildings and houses which pepper the town.

1 2 . P a t e r n o s t e r, Western Cape Ease into the relaxed pace and uninterrupted beauty of the old fishing village of Paternoster. The local restaurant specialises in serving up tantalising seafood cuisine as the sea is the lifeblood of the village. Travellers can sunbathe along the seemingly endless stretch of undisturbed coastline while soaking in the paradisiacal views.

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