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Friday, October 4, 2013 Vol. 54 No. I

The 100 Year Flood:

A Special Report Pages 4-7

Flood debris on Table Mesa and a swollen Bear Canyon Creek Photo by Emily Ellis

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THE ROYAL BANNER 13-14 STAFF EDITORS IN CHIEF SAVARONE AMMANN

SHARONE GOLDMAN ELISE MACLEAN CASON MCHOSE

SECTION EDITORS

News RAINE KENNEDY, LUCIA ROSE Opinions ALEX RAY Student Life NATALIE BOWS, REBECCA VICKERS Entertainment DAVID SACHS Sports RYAN SHUMAN Humor MADDIE STACHNIAK Photo EMILY ELLIS Copy OWYN COOPER Social Media RACHEL PERLEY

STAFF REPORTERS

KIMBERLY BROWN, DVIR GOLDMAN, RACHEL GRUSHAN, MAYA JAYACHANDRA. ETHAN KENNEDY, ALEAH MATTHEWS-RUNNER,

VARUN

NARAYANSWAMY,

MACKENZIE

RIORDAN, JULIANA RUSSELL, HANNAH SHERIDAN, MIKE SPARKMAN, ALISON YARDLEY

Editor’s Page

Editor’s Note

Hi, Fairview! Welcome to the Royal Banner News Network’s first magazine of the 2013-2014 school year. It’s October 4th, and school is officially in full swing (despite a six day break that came out of the blue). Summer is behind us. The flu is going around. Fall-season sports are starting to wind down, as winter sports start their pre-season practices. The performing arts department is in the full throes of musical practice. And, of course, after a fantastic Homecoming week, we have our game tonight and dance tomorrow. To those of you who don’t know me, my name is Sharone Goldman. I am one of the Editors-in-chief of the RBNN, and a senior. I’m excited to share with you the stories we’ve covered for this magazine. News never follows a plan, and our community faced a startling, and pretty devastating, blow by what is now called the 100 Year Flood. So many students have terrifying, funny, nerve-wracking, and heartwarming stories to tell, and we’ve tried to capture those moments in our news section. Check out our athlete pop culture grid in the sports section, and some of Fairview’s best homecoming proposals in Student Life. We’ve included a guide to Apple’s new iOS 7 software in Entertainment, and an editorial piece on dress codes on behalf of the Royal Banner staff. We’ve also explored all the lessons Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” have taught us about how to treat a lady in our humor section. Finally, inspired by a discussion with Principal Stensrud, we’ve included a special feature on academic pressure, and its effect on Fairview students. Check it out on page 16! With a new year, comes new goals. Most importantly, we want the magazine to be about YOU. So, please, if you have news tips, want to guest write, contribute a letter to the editor, submit photos, or get involved in any other way, let us know! You can contact us through our social media, personally, or through email. Enjoy homecoming. Make it memorable. And, if you are going to the Homecoming game (or just want to follow the event) make sure you check out our Royal Banner Sports Twitter (@FHSRB_Sports) for real-time updates. Thank you for reading. Stay tuned for our next magazine, coming out before finals, and enjoy the issue! - Sharone

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The Royal Banner Newspaper is a 24 to 32 page newspaper.

The Banner is written primarily for the over 2000 students attending Fairview High School and is distributed free of charge to all members of the school community. Accurate reporting of fact is the goal of the staff. Commentaries, opinion columns and letters to the editor are the expressed opinion of the author and not of The

Royal Banner and its Editorial Board or its adviser. *Disclaimer: Under Colorado law, no expression made by students in the exercise of free speech or freedom of the press shall be deemed to be an expression of school policy. No school district, employee, legal guardian or ofﬁcial of such a district shall be held liable in any criminal action for any expression made or published by a student. The Royal Banner sells advertisements for publicity and to pay for printing costs. We reserve the right to refuse to run any advertisement deemed inappropriate to the Fairview community.

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Royal Banner

news

The 100 Year Flood: A Special Report 4-7

sports

student life

Pop Culture Grid 8

Advice to Younger Grades13

Action Shot of the Month 11

Student of the Issue 12 Homecoming 2013

Spirit Photo15

Captain’s Corner 9

Thank You Lakewood 10

special feature The Race to Sucess: Is It Worth It? 16-19

entertainment

iOS 7 Guide 20 Z Tunes 21

The Real Fairview Musical 22

Luke Bryan Album Review 23

humor

opinions

Students’ Dress: Why Do We Insist On Promiscuity? 24 Sports and School: Why are they so different? 26

A Transition in Tradition 27

Mixing up Gender Roles: Photo 28

Gay Teen Chooses to be Straight 29

P.E. Teachers use BS to Take Over School 30 Free Bacon! 31

Graduation Count Down:

233 Days

extras

Advertisments 32

Table of Contents

Up & Coming Today

Friday the 4th: Homecoming Game FHS Vs. Arvada West (7 pm @ Recht Field)

This Weekend

Saturday the 5th: Homecoming Dance- Dr. Seuss theme ( 8 pm - 11 pm) @ FHS

Next Week

Tuesday the 8th: Girl’s Volleyball Vs. Poudre @ FHS (6:30 pm) Wednesday the 9th: Parent-teacher conferences (4:30 pm - 8:30 pm) @ FHS Thursday the 10th: Boy’s Varsity Football Vs. Legacy @ North144th/I-25 (7 pm) Friday the 11th: Boy’s Swimming Vs. Mountain Range (@ South Boulder Rec.) Movie release: Romeo and Juliet

Next Weekend

Saturday the 12th: Boy’s Soccer Vs. Rocky Mtn @ Rocky Mtn Dr. (10 am) Fairview Marching KnightsArapahoe March @Littleton Public Schools Stadium ( performance at 3:30 pm)

Following Week

Monday the 14th: Professional Development DayNO SCHOOL Tuesday the 15th: On this day in history the Cuban Missile Crisis began (1962) Boy’s Varsity Soccer Vs. Mountain Range @ FHS (8:30 pm)

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News

A Destroyed Fairview Ceiling Photo by Dvir Goldman

The 100 Year Flood: A Special Report

59 FHS Students Displaced 9 FHS Staff Displaced 39 FHS Staff Affected 800 Ceiling Tiles Removed 8 Custodians for Clean Up $1500 Raised for FHS by the Lakewood Tigers $2,000,000 Property Damage in Colorado Statistics by Rachel Grushan

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News

A Timeline of the Flood Rachel Grushan

Wednesday, Sept 11 10:00 PM: Flood sirens activated near Boulder Creek. Stensrud posts tweet about leaky ceiling tiles in Fairview. 10:30 pm: Flash Flood warning issued for Boulder County

Looking West from Ithaca up East Bound Table Mesa

Photo Credit: Jay Stott

Friday, Sept 13:

9:00 am: Colorado National Guard assists in evacuation of Lyons, which has no safe access in or out. 5:00 pm: Colorado National Guard airlifts nearly 300 people from Jamestown

Saturday/ Sunday, Sept 14-15:

The National Guard evacuates Lyons

Saturday, Sept 14: 4:05 pm: CU Campus Closure extends through Sunday Sunday, Sept 15: 10:00 pm: President Obama issues Major Disaster Declaration for Boulder County 3:00 pm: 326 people unaccounted for

A destroyed car at the Boulder County Fairgrounds

Photo Credit: Maya Jayachandria

3:55 am: power outages in Boulder 4:55 am: all City of Boulder Facilities are closed for the day 5:00 am: BVSD announces school closures for Thursday 12 pm: CU Boulder announces closure 12:30 pm: closure of Boulder County Parks, Trails and Open space 3:44 pm: BVSD announces school closures for Friday 10:15 pm: evacuation ordered for residents along Boulder Creek, which was flowing at approximately 4,900 cubic feet per second.

Photo Credit: Paul Strode

Thursday, Sept 12:

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News

From left, Varun Narayanswamy, Dvir Goldman, Elise Maclean, Sharone Goldman, Maddie Stachniak, and Owyn Cooper pose with destroyed ceiling tiles in the 300 hall. Photo Credit: Raine Kennedy

Flood of the Century: How the Disaster Affected Fairview

By Rachel Grushan

In what has become known as the 100 year flood, 557 Colorado homes suffered damages, while 345 homes were completely destroyed. Dr. Paul Strode explained to the Banner what this term means. “In some places, we would say that to have a flood of a particular intensity on any given day is a 1 in 100 chance,” said Strode. “But the meteorologists are steering away from that way of talking.” Strode said, “The flooding wasn’t really flash flooding. It was just this constant increase in water coming down our canyons because the rain just kept falling.” Flooded basements, while not catastrophic, were hazardous and a common trouble for many students. “The downstairs part of my house, which isn’t really a basement but is sunken into the ground, got about four inches of water through the sliding doors,” said Alison Jarvis, sophomore. “I lost a few papers of

my notebook, but nothing too important.” Timo Kaempfen, a senior, faced heavier flooding Thursday morning. “It was 20 inches,” he said. “I woke up and it was six inches high. We moved stuff for the next four hours, and then it started to rise even more. My dad was out of town, but when he got back we bought a pump and pumped it out.” With ruined roads and closed routes, getting to school has become a daily challenge for some students. “I live in Nederland, so my house wasn’t affected,” said Sam Hinderman, sophomore. “But all the roads have been closed, so we have to drive through Blackhawk. It takes about two hours now, and it really sucks.” The Fairview building itself suffered damage.

Continued on Page 7...

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Continued from Page 6...

“Wednesday night, after Back to School Night, we saw where most of the leaks were. So at that point, we started removing ceiling tiles so we wouldn’t have as much clean-up to do when we got back. We had buckets and trash cans underneath where it was leaking,” said Stensrud. In this time of tragedy, both the City of Boulder and the Fairview community have come through for each other and shown their resilience. When asked how Fairview plans to support students affected by flooding, Stensrud said, “Anyone who lost a textbook, we just give new ones. We are not going to charge them. We’ve been giving out gift certificates for King Soopers and Target and Walmart. We also connected families with other families in terms of places for people to live.” Adrianne Holland, sophomore, said, “The neighbors across the street from us came and stayed in our house for a little because they had a bunch of leaks.” The weekend after the flood, Fairview’s football rival, Lakewood High School, moved their Homecoming game from Friday to Saturday, giving the Knights an extra day to recover.

News “They took a collection for families here and collected $1,500 and food for the football team,” said Stensrud. “So although it has been a terrible thing, it has really brought out the best in people.” Although the flood is over, the community still needs the resources to heal. Fairview students interested in helping out can visit www.boulderfloodrelief.org to find volunteer opportunites in their area or donate money and supplies to those in need.

South Boulder Creek at Baseline Rd and Gapter Rd. Photo by Laura Kennedy

“Many Fairview families and staff were impacted by the flood waters. I know many students helped neighbors and friends clean up their homes. I hope life is starting to be balanced and students are able to continue their classes and school activities. It will take time and resources to recover from the natural disaster. Fairview High School experienced some damage which will be repaired this fall if possible.” -Bruce Messinger, Superintendent

An Interview with Mr. Stott

By Raine Kennedy Mr. Jay Stott, a resident of Lyons and a Fairview teacher, was affected by some of the worst of the flooding that hit Boulder County. “We had pretty major flooding in Lyons. We had the same rain everybody else did. We had some levees in the canyons above Lyons fail, which is why we had such a big flood event,” said Mr. Stott. “We are very lucky. Our house was completely untouched. But we were awoken at 2 a.m by the sirens. We knew that we were safe. We were texting friends and immediately making sure people were okay. Eventually, by Mr. Stott. Photo by Raine Kennedy the time daylight came around, we got up and got dressed. We really didn’t know until then how bad it was. The people who had been the hardest hit were brought to the Lyons Elementary School. Thursday morning, my wife and I spent most of the morning either at the elementary school helping people or getting stuff for people. We realized that Lyons was basically an island. There were no way anyone would be getting in or out. There was 8 feet of water on Highway 36. We knew we were cut off, but when they came we knew nobody was going to starve to death. By Friday, the rain had stopped. By the end of the day Friday, they were letting people leave. We got up Saturday knowing that we were going leave town and knowing we weren’t going to be coming back anytime soon. We packed for a month. Right now we’re staying in a hotel, and we’re looking into a month-to-month rental. The Fairview community has really reached out.”

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Sports

Pop Culture Grid by Alison Yardley

Best movie of the summer?

Kiki Garthwaite

Ice Cream Favorite or Froyo? pump up song?

One word that describes your team? Diligent

Favorite TV A #hashtag show? you would use to describe yourself? “Breaking #imkiki Bad”

Favorite food?

Best moment this season so far?

Steak or fruit

Beating Pomona was a great was to start the seaon

“The Heat.” I love comedies!

Depends on my mood

“Baby got Back” by Sir Mix-a-Lot

“We are the Millers”

Ice cream

‘‘Gotta Have it” by Jay-Z and Kayne West

Unique

“Tosh.0”

#Dre

Pasta

The first game against Silver Creek

“We are the Millers”

Ice cream

“Till I Collapse” by Eminem

Hilarious

“Two and a Half Men”

N/A

Chipotle

Girish Narayanswamy

“This is the End”

Froyo

“Till I Collapse” by Eminem

Stoked

“The Office” #straitstunna

Italian food

Tying for first at the Coal Creek Invite with Cason Mchose All of the new recruits joining with enthusiasm

Julia McCue

“We are the Millers’

Ice cream

The Bambi theme song

Yikes

“Graceland”

#YOLO

Chocolate

Trip to Grand Junction

Isabelle Kennedy

“Kings of Summer”

Ice cream

“Moral of the Story” by Watsky

Enthusiastic

“Psych”

#groupaaay

Italian food

Cheering at Centarus

Roger Nichols

“Man of Steel”

Ice cream always

“Wild Fire” Dominant by John Mayer

“How I Met Your Mother”

#stoopid

Burgers

Messing with Iggy’s mustache

“The Conjuring”

Froyo

“Prison Break”

#superbigballer

Pasta

Beating Overland

Andre Miller Soccer

Zach Swenson Golf

Ultimate

Softball

Tennis Matt Koch Football

“This is How We Do” by Game

Together

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Sports

Captains’ Corner

Teresa Prinster - Softball

Q1- “Our main goal is to beat Boulder again, win our league, and make the playoffs.” Q2- “We have a really strong senior class and we also have lots of underclassmen to compliment our team. We have all of the pieces in place, now we just got to win.” Q3- “Last year, I had a hurt ankle so I didn’t play as much, but the highlight was when we beat Boulder 63-21. That was great.” Q4- “JV is really good. Its all underclassmen; we also have a lot of underclassmen in Varsity.” Q5- “Because of all the work we put into the summer, and the fact that we are used to facing adversaries, we will be fine.”

Q1- “Work hard, come together as a team, improve our mental game, and, of course, win!” Q2- “Making sure we’re always locked in and focused on what we’re doing, but also being super relaxed and having fun” Q3- “Smashing Boulder twice.” Q4- “Jv is exponentially improving with every game and working their butts off!” Q5- “We weren’t allowed for practice for six straight days, which set us off balance a bit. Also, many of our games were rescheduled meaning these past weeks we’ve been having to play up to four games a week.”

Kevin Wohlfarth - Golf

Caitlyn Lee - Ultimate Frisbee Q1- “To win the State Championship.” Q2-“We have a good shot. We have a lot of good players who are hard workers.” Q3- “Not morning practices.” Q4- “We practice all together. Our varsity has some solid returning players and our JV newcomers are willing and able to work. It’s going to be a lot of fun.” Q5- “We practiced the first day and that was a rough practice. Lots of kids on the team were displaced and that’s been tough. We’ve really pulled together as a team and helped each other out.” Hal Shultz - Cross Country Q1- “Guys lost a lot of people last year, so our goal is to qualify for State, the girls team is solid, and I think they can make the top 3 for state” Q2-“Well just keep on training hard.” Q3- “Highlight was making 2nd overall in state and Isibel Kenedy getting 3rd place.” Q4- “The girls team is amazing, their 1st place, the guys are also good, their strong and getting stronger.” Q5- “We can practice on an off and on baisis, so were ok, did miss an important meat though.”

Anders Hill - Football

Questions: 1. What are your goals for this season? 2. How will you acomplish these goals? 3. What was the highlight last season? 4. How is JV performing? 5. How has the flood affected you?

Kiani Rayford - Vollyball Q1- “Our main goal for the season is to make state. Last year we made Regionals, and I think we’re only going to get better.” Q2-“We’ve been spending a lot of time together as a team, hanging out after school, bonding as a team. I think that as long as we keep working hard in practice we’ll do well.” Q3- “Last year, we went to the Fort Collins Tournament. We then beat Boulder High and won the tournament. Winning the tournament took us to Regionals.” Q4- “Our JV team is really good. In the scrimmages that we’ve played against them, they were close to beating us. One JV player who has really stood out has been Christine Schmidt.” Q5- “The Cherry Creek Tournament was canceled. We’re making up the games in the Eaton Tournament on the Homecoming game day.”

Q1- “Get a team to state and to finish my final year of high school golf strong.” Q2- “Practice, practice, practice.” Q3- “Eating Qdoba after every tournament.” Q4- “Did well this year for such a young team. Fairview is going to have some solid players in the next couple years if they keep up the hard work they put in this season.” Q5- “Nah, not really. Regionals got pushed back a couple days but (we) otherwise just had to play around the flooded courses.”

Andrew Pollack - Tennis Q1- “We want to win state. Every year it seems that Cherry Creek wins so we really want to crush them and win it for the first time.” Q2-”Make sure the whole team is excited, pumped and ready to win.” Q3- ”Highlight last year- Watching the team of Tommy Mason and Kevin Chen and destroying Cherry Creek.” Q4- ”Our JV team is as good or better than a whole bunch of varsity teams.” Q5- ”It affected us a lot, a whole bunch of matches were canceled, we’ve had a match every day, which as well as being tough because we can’t practice we have a lot less time to work academically.”

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R-E-S-P-E-C-T Written by Dvir Goldman

Sports Lakewood Athletics

“A school filled with character, class and compasion.”

Thank You, Lakewood. The Colorado floods affected so many people in so many horrible ways. We, the students of Fairview, were hit as hard as anybody else. When our football team missed 5 days of practice, Lakewood High postponed their game and helped out our school in a way no other school has. Lakewood high postponed their Homecoming game to the following Saturday night, giving our football team a few more practices. Lakewood then checked in on Fairview to see if we needed assistance. Said Mr. Lee, the athletic director, “What they did wasn’t a small feat, but they were able to do it.” During the 3rd quarter of the game, $1500 were raised by the fans of Lakewood and given to Fairview to help fix parts of our school. “After the game two of their players spoke to the Fairview team and gave them condolences for all those who have been displaced,” said Lee. Even after a tough loss, Lakewood High fed our team with food from their booster club. “It showed our community what competition should be about,” said Lee. “I’ve never seen another school show this much class and help another school as I saw Lakewood help us.” In a letter to Lakewood high and Jeffereson County Stendsrud thanked them. Here is a written copy of that letter:

In my 18 years of being a school principal I have never done nor experienced the following: I have never written a letter to another school district superintendent and school board. I have never requested another school to change their homecoming game. I have never experienced the amount of character, class and compassion displayed by Lakewood High School this past Saturday. Let me take a few moments to elaborate… As you know, the past 10 days have been very trying for the students and their families of Fairview High School due to the overwhelming amount of loss and damage of the floods. One of the impacted groups within my school was the football team… athletes either displaced or digging out, a missed game and 5 missed days of practice. When the students finally returned to school on Wednesday, the football team was to have only two days of practice (after not practicing for the previous 6 days) before facing a talented Lakewood team on Friday night. A call was made to LHS to ask if by any chance if they would be able to move the game to Saturday (side note: to make matters even more difficult this was Lakewood’s homecoming game) and without hesitation they said yes. As nice and compassionate as that move alone was, it was nothing compared to what transpired on Saturday at the game. We showed up on Saturday to hear the game announcer acknowledge the tragedy the Fairview community had faced and that the thoughts and prayers of the Lakewood community was with the families of FHS. The LHS girls basketball team was selling headbands with 50% of the profits going to victims of the flood, the athletic boosters provided pizza, drinks and homemade cookies for the football team after the game and the cheerleaders went through the stands during the third quarter and raised over $1500 for flood relief from the Lakewood students and fans. Our hearts were touched by the generosity of the students and families of Lakewood High School. However one last moment best exemplifies that character, class and compassion that Ron Castagna and his staff have instilled into the students of Lakewood High School. After the game, which Fairview won on a last second field goal, the Lakewood players invited the FHS players to join them at mid-field and take a knee. The quarterback of the LHS team spoke to both teams stating that it had been a hard fought game, but after the hardship the FHS team had faced over the previous week they wanted everyone to know that they were all brothers and if the FHS players needed anything now or in the future for them just to ask, because Lakewood High School and Tiger football team was there for them. As for the adults watching…there was not a dry eye. As a superintendent and a school board you should be very proud of the students, the families and the staff of Lakewood High School. I know that Ron is retiring this year and will be missed by all. So on a personal note to Ron, you leave a legacy of excellence in education but more importantly, a school filled to overflowing with character, class, and compassion.

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Action Shot of the Month Photo Credit: Emily Ellis

Luis Flores on his way to score one of his two goals against Overland on September 21st.

Sports

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Student Life

Student Of the Issue: Larry Zhang by Natalie Bowes and Rebecca Vickers

The student of the issue is someone extraordinary. Whether they have an interesting talent, are making a concious effort to improve their community, or just someoneone who exemplifies admirable values, the student of the issue is a way to call attention to the unique things you may not know about the person sitting next to you in class. An active member of both student council and Knight Crew, Larry Zhang tries to be as involved in the Fairview community as possible. With thirteen years of piano skills under his belt, Zhang frequently plays for both school musicals and pops. Zhang also is a very competitive student, being an IB diploma candidate and national merit scholar semifinalist, however he swears it is all manageable, “I’m not one of those IB diploma kids who has eight classes, I’ve had at least one off period every year.” Perhaps the coolest thing about Zhang is his research regarding skin cancer, a primary focus of his for the past three years. Zhang has used his research in science fair for the past two years and gone on to compete at the international level with 40 other countries in both Pittsburgh and Phoenix, placing second out of 2,500 people. “Over the summer I was working at a lab on CU campus and found something present in cancer cells that is not found in normal skin cells, based on this discovery I am currently working on a lotion that targets this component in cancer cells to ultimately cure skin cancer.” What does Zhang’s future hold you may ask? Well, his goal is within the next two years to have undergone clinical trials of the lotion and, if they prove successful, maybe one day win a Nobel Prize. “As far as college is concerned I’m applying to fourteen schools but as long I get to finish my research I’ll be happy.” You go, Larry!

Words of Wisdom from Larry to You:

“If you want a happy ending that depends of course on where you stop your story” -Orson Welles Photo by Emily Ellis

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Student Life

Looking Ahead: Advice to Younger Grades by Hannah Sheridan

Every time you enter the building on the first day of school, you are not just starting another year in a monochromatic, high school experience. You are throwing yourself blindly into a 365-day period that is sure to change drastically from the year prior, for better or worse. So what can we learn from the grades ahead of us? Can their experiences help us prepare for what might be ahead? Just as the year is starting to pick up tempo, we have collected some advice from veterans of freshman, sophomore, and junior years for the grades below.

• • • • •

Sophomores to Freshmen

“Don’t stop in the middle of the halls” -Nick Fano “Don’t stop in the middle of the halls”- Jack Bader “Don’t stop in the middle of the halls” Literally every other sophomore that was questioned. “Slay it”- Jesse Andringa. “Learn to manage your time. Keep a planner.” -Sarah Gordon A group of sophmores use their off period to study and hang out in the library.

Juniors to Sophomores •

• •

“Get involved with clubs because thats the last year you’ll have a lot of time. If you start junior year, it’s really awkward. You had two opportunities and you missed them, so you don’t look motivated, and colleges pay attention to that. Figure your life out.” - Andrew Yi “Don’t push yourself beyond your limits.” -Fernando Zuniga “Don’t take Spanish junior year.” -Connor Brennan

Diana Edleman and Kiki Garthwait(Juniors) power through their homework load.

•

Seniors to Juniors

“Since its the most important year, go to your teachers for help. If you think you’re in a class that’s too advanced, drop down. Dont be the kids that peak in high school.” -Savannah Williams “Don’t even try to have a social life. Junior year is the year that colleges look at. Peak when Forbes can legally put you on the cover of their magazine.”- Rylie McMillan “Make sure you trust yourself in your classes. You’re more prepared than you think you are”- Teresa Prinster Senior boys engage in a heated game of fooseball. Photos by Rebecca Vickers

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Things you need to know: Where: Fairview High School When: Saturday October 5th, 8 p.m.- 11 p.m. How: Buy a ticket- $15 for singles $30 for dates Theme: Dr. Seuss Girls remember: • If you get food on your dress at dinner, have no fear, the dance is dark anyway. • If you don’t have a date, you will have just as much fun with your friends. • Homecoming can be a lot of drama but don’t stress out about it, it’ll be a fun night. Boys remember: • Practice tying a tie before the big night... no one wants to look sloppy. • If you’re scared to ask a girl to dancedance, don’t be... she’s probably checking you out anyway. • If you’re fortunate to have a hot date, buy them their ticket. You’ll score some points for being a gentleman.

Student Life

Best Homecoming Proposals by Mackenzie Riordan

“I filled a vase with all red Swedish Fish and then I put one green one in and said ‘Of all the fish in the sea, will you go to Homecoming with me?’”Bridget Hoag (Junior) “My friend asked us to help him set up a scavenger hunt throughout Boulder. At the end of the hunt, which was at Flagstaff, we held up a sign that said ‘Homecoming?’ while he was holding flowers for her.” - Bailey MacInnis (Junior) “My friend was playing ping pong with her future date and he switched out the original ping pong ball with another one that said ‘homecoming?’”-Lilly Karsh (Senior) “My friend’s date drove up to Flagstaff and wrote ‘Homecoming’ on his car then set up a picnic with candles and flowers. Later they hiked up and it was perfectly set up and timed at sunset”- Kasey Martin (Junior) “I had a student come in and ask if he could write ‘(Anonymous), will you go to homecoming with me?’ on the whiteboard, then he came in during her class and pulled up the projector screen.”- Odette Edbrooke (Teacher) “A student put a box with an alarm on it and inside the box it said ‘Homecoming?’ then he hid it in the girl’s backpack and made the alarm go off during class. She finally figured out it was her bag making the noise and found the box ”- Ron (Security Guard) “I dropped off an envelope at their house with a bunch of puzzle pieces inside. When he put the puzzle pieces together, it was a picture of me and him but I took out the picture of his face and it said ‘you’re the missing piece, homecoming?’”- Kendall Richarz (Senior) Below: Adam Grushan and Pari Buse (seniors) show off their tubesocks for homecoming spirit week.

Photos by Natalie Bowes

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Student Life

Show Your School Spirit! Photo Credit: Emily Ellis

Senior Nate Stein pumps up the crowd as Fairview Football brings in another win

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Special Feature

The Race to “Success” and is it worth it?

By Lucia Rose, Hannah Sheridan, and Varun Narayanswamy

In a single day, the average Fairview student will sit through six hours of classes, attend a two-hour practice or extracurricular activity, and come home to 2-4 hours of homework before finally going to sleep for the night. Keep in mind that this schedule excludes any social activity with friends or family. Five days per week. Nine months of the year. It’s a chaotic lifestyle, and it demands exceptional performance in its every aspect. Huffington Post contributor and high school intern Riley Griffin wrote, “this pressure [experienced by high school students] doesn’t derive from our motivation for success; rather it comes from a fear of failure.” But if Fairview students are overachieving, why do they feel this pressure? Because the the concept of failure at Fairview is not typical. Failure is being average.

“I mean, life goes on even if you don’t go to Harvard.” - Leigh Campbell-Hale, Social Studies Teacher

It is not being at the top. It is attending colleges that are considered sub-par, getting Bs instead of As, and not receiving scholarships.“It’s such a competitive school.”

Said Principal Don Stensrud. “There’s an expectation from parents to kids to staff that everyone’s going to go to a tier one school.” Students therefore take advanced classes to better their chances of attending such a school. “I wish kids didn’t take so many weighted classes,” said Leigh Campbell-Hale, a Social Studies teacher who teaches many IB and AP classes, “I mean life goes on even if you don’t go to Harvard.” Fairview counselor Matt Mowen said, “We have high expectations for ourselves, we aren’t happy with mediocrity and being in the middle, we want to be the best,” about the self-inflicted stress of a student. Stensrud said, “When I first started teaching, a C meant average,” but now grades have to be “all A’s, C’s and B’s aren’t good enough.” This pressure has affected the way students study, take tests, and learn in general. Education in the United States has become a game of maximizing performance and minimizing time. Understanding content is now a second priority. In an interview conducted by PBS, student-teacher Daniel Moran said that he felt that students today are often turned into, “automatons trained to cram and memorize information,” and that they often are too stressed and overextended to tackle any type of assignments that require them to synthesize information in a new or different way.

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This environment breeds monsters such as cheating. emerged in every Ivy League school, and most high performA 2002 survey conducted by Rutgers’ Management Educa- ing public universities as well. Students who would have been tion Center found that out of 4,500 students, 75 percent of considered overqualified ten years ago are turned away simply them cheated. because the population of applicants is overwhelmingly high. When asked about which group of students tend to cheat, The pressure to get into these schools hasn’t decreased, but the Moran said, “The worse cheating that I saw, by far, was in my statistical likelihood has while the stress has increased. Therehonors courses. The ‘lazy’ students or the students in the lower fore, students push themselves harder than ever to achieve classes don’t cheat nearly as often, perhaps because the same near-impossible goals. expectations are not placed on them.” The impact that chronic stress can have on students, specifiSarah Gordon, sophomore, said “at Fairview, you’re con- cally high school and middle school adolescents whose brains stantly being compared to other students. Colleges don’t look will not fully develop for another decade, can be surprising at your learning experience. They look at your grades rather and upsetting. than whether or not you actually understand the material.” Stress is not simply an emotional, unmeasurable response On top of both to an external stimuli. self-inflicted and soAccording to Stanford ciety-inflicted stress, neurobiologist Robert many students endure Sapolsky, every time equal or greater presthe brain processes sure from their para stressful situation, ents. two kinds of horWhile discussing his mones are released peers, Fernando Zucalled adrenaline and niga, junior, said “I’ve glucocorticoids. The talked to kids whose biological purpose of parents won’t let them this release is to help try out for a sport beprey flee a predator in cause they don’t have a life-threatening situan A in a class.” ation. The hormones However, a study make the heart race conducted by PEW and cause hyperventiResearch showed that lation in order to give 56 percent of Amerithe animal maximum can adults think that oxygen and muscle parents should be putresponse while escapting more pressure on ing. Graphic: Lucia Rose Data: The Ivy Coach their kids, while only As a culture, we 15 percent think that parents should be have developed to trigdecreasing the pressure. ger this reaction hundreds of times per day. Whenever we Alexandra Robbins, author of “The Overachievers: The Se- think about an upcoming test, a late assignment, a bad relacret Lives of Driven Kids” has an explanation for these statis- tionship with family or peers, being pressed for time, or coltics. “I strongly believe that the American public isn’t aware lege applications, we have the exact same response. Many of of just how much pressure children are feeling, because many these stressors occur on a daily or hourly basis. We are conparents don’t necessarily pressure intentionally.” stantly bathing in these hormones, and this can cause signifThis disconnect could be due to a generation gap and a vast icant changes in the overall mental and physical welfare of change in the education system from what parents experi- students. enced. In the Whitehall Study conducted by the Department of According to The Ivy Coach, an organization that assists Epidemiology and Public Health, the competitive and hierstudents in the application process of Ivy League schools, in archical workforce of Great Britain was surveyed for stress re1980, less than a third of high school seniors applied to 4 or lated effects on its employees. It was discovered that workers more schools. By 2006, the number had risen to over half. in the lower ranks who faced considerably higher amounts of This is because in order to survive the application process, you stress- be it from working longer hours to being disrespected need to not only achieve, but overachieve. by higher ranked employees, had consistently higher blood In 1980, Yale admitted 20.7 percent of students, whereas this pressure and lower heart health. year, they accepted a record low 7.35 percent. This pattern has

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This seems to be the cause behind several stress relatAnd the struggle doesn’t end in high school. ed deaths due to cardiovascular failure by workers in this In 2010, Cornell had to post guards under a student environment. According to the study, “the administrators bridge due to the rise in students jumping to their deaths. have about half the average mortality at age 40-64 years, In a study that surveyed Cornell and Princeton, it was while the office support staff have about twice the aver- discovered that one in five of the students admitting to age. Hence, there is a four-fold difference between the cutting or burning themselves. bottom and top grade.” These are the students that kids at Fairview are presThe study also found that the rate of depression in sured to become. They are not pressured to build a hapthese employees was considerably higher than those who py, stable environment for themselves in the future. They worked in lower are pressured to succeed by societal standards while stress environpersonal implications are brushed off as challenges. It “I feel like [stress] is ruining ments. With simiis not a matter of weakness or strength and shouldn’t be [students’] high school. [Stular stimuli present treated as such. dents] are either at sports here at Fairview, These are intelligent, strong kids who are pushing practice, at school, at their we could expect themselves to the limit and beyond and losing themdesk studying, or asleep.” the same results. selves in the process. It is a physical response to a bro- Connor Brennan, Junior The depresken lifestyle. It has infiltrated the education system. And sion-stress connecit needs to be assessed. So how do we fix it? tion has been recSome school systems believe they have cracked the ognized for some code. The Ministry of Education and Culture (OKM) time, but managing overwhelming stress is becoming a in Finland has completely redefined the concept of edhuge challenge for students much earlier than most par- ucation. ents expect. Finnish children attend a nine-year comprehensive Connor Brennan, junior, said, “I feel like [stress] is ruin- school before an upper secondary school, and finally an ing [student’s] high school. [Students] are either at sports university or polytechnic education, all paid and providpractice, at school, at their desk studying, or asleep.” ed for by the government and universities. So when teens come home from school at 6:00 and go The basic principle behind Finland’s education system, directly to bed for three hours until they awaken in a as told by OKM, is that “all people must have equal access groggy mess, only to scribble at their homework to the to high-quality education and training,” and that policy best of their abilities, it can be misunderstood as laziness shall be based on, “the lifelong learning principle.” or lack of responsibility. It is crucial for parents to considSupporting that principle, Finland’s upper secondary er that depression is a condition with physical symptoms school gives a large amount of freedom and responsijust like any other. bility to the students in regards to their education. The Teenagers can develop chronic or major depression school ends in a matriculation exam, which is focused simply from school pressure alone. Combined with a on cumalitive knowledge gained throughout the upper dysfunctional family or friendship, traumatic experience, secondary education. potential genetic predisposition, and an underdeveloped Most students complete their upper secondary edusense of self, it suddenly becomes embarrasscation in three years, but ingly clear why a high school student might they can choose to finish it “[Stress] comes out in eating lack psychological stability. in two, three, or four years. disorders. It comes out in “Over my ten years here, we’ve seen a treLearning is adjusted to their cutting. It comes out in sleep mendous amount of suicidal ideations. We’ve needs, and subject to their disorders.” seen a lot of kids self medicate. We’ve seen a lot own pace. Students may - Principal Don Stensrud of kids just snap and drop out.” said Stensrud. complete their studies indi“It comes out in eating disorders. It comes out vidually or as a group. in cutting. It comes out in sleep disorders.” Depending on students’ One in five teens will experience depression interest, they may attend in the United States, according to a study done by the schools which specialize in certain subjects (ie. art, National Institute of Mental Health. Seventy percent of music, sports). Students may choose to attend a school those affected teens will have multiple episodes, some which ends in an international examination. Every part lasting for over a year at a time. Depression can often lead of the learning process is tailored to the students needs, to a drop in GPA, sports performance, and overall ability passions, and interests. to function.

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While the freedom does place more responsibility on Stensrud supports this potential solution, “instead of students, it ensures that students’ are working at their K through 12, you could have K through 13 for someone own pace, therefore assuring their understanding of the who has to take a year off. Or if you have a very bright material, not just the memorization of answers. This sys- student, they could finish high school by tenth grade and tem is free of most of the pressure Fairview students face, be ready for the next step.” In an ideal school, “we’d allow there is no race against the clock due to the flexible time kids to self pace,” said Stensrud, and “start allowing stuand no brutal competition with other students due to the dents to have a little more ownership in their academic fitted education plan and environment. career.” Countries like Finland have proven that a non-tradiWhile changing the learning environment can drastional learning environment can be an effective tool in re- tically lower the stress level of students, it can only do ducing the stress so much. The of students. real change Principal Stenregarding srud is a strong pressure in supporter in high schools changing Fairbegins with view’s environchanging the ment extensively definition of, to lower the presand attitude sure on students. regarding, Smartphones, success and google docs, lapfailure. tops, skype, and “I think facetime are all kids have examples of toenough presday’s advanced sure,” said technology, all Stensrud, tools useful to “I wish that high school stusometimes dents. we would say He proposes ‘oh so you got the question, “do an F, okay, so you always need what are you to be at school going to do to do school? about it?” Paper should be S o c i e t y ’s obsolete here fear of failure Graphic: Lucia Rose Data: PEW Research soon, and we will have seridon’t even need to be in the same room to be sitting ous implications around editing it.” on the lives of high school students as they continue to Junior, Tai Koester, supports a more flexible education grow up, “how do you overcome adversity if nobody ever plan and said, “everybody learns at their own pace. It lets you face adversity?” said Stensrud. might come slower to some kids than others. That doesn’t The solution is easy, accept failure, don’t fear it. Learn make them more stupid, and you shouldn’t be penalized from mistakes, don’t ignore them. Until we change the for it.” way we perceive mistakes and failure, both individually and as a society, we will continue to fail ourselves.

“I wish that sometimes we would say ‘oh so you got an F, okay, so what are you going to do about it?” -Principal Don Stensrud

Got a comment? Send us a letter to the editor. Email lucia.rose@fhsroyalbanner.com

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A Dr. Seuss Homecoming The Royal Banner wishes you a fun time!

Homecoming game tonight: FHS Vs. Arvada West (7 pm @ Recht Field) Homecoming dance tomorrow: Fairview High School (8-11 pm)

Photo by Emily Ellis

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#ZTUNES Photo by Emily Ellis I’m angry at Robin Thicke. His song is so catchy, so easy to love just for the beat and the rhythm and the feel. But I can’t love this song. No way. “Blurred Lines” is really bad for us. And Thicke thinks he’s being funny. In an interview with “GQ,” he said, “We [he, T.I. and Pharrell Williams] tried to do everything that was taboo. [...] everything that was derogatory towards women. Because all three of us are happily married with children, we were like, ‘We’re the perfect guys to make fun of this.’” No one should make fun of rape and consent and degrading women. Using humor to make a statement about very serious societal issues is dangerous ground, something best left to the experts like John Stewart and Stephen Colbert. According to Chris Bliss in his TED Talk “Comedy as Translation,” humor lowers our defenses and lets

Story by Sarah Zerwin “Z-tunes” is a Language Arts teacher’s views and opinions on music and all that comes with it. ideas sneak into our consciousness that we might otherwise reject. While people are laughing along with Thicke about how ridiculous it is that the world degrades women, what creeps into their mind is, “I know you want it” and the idea that the lines are blurry when it comes to consent. The song makes it seem that if a person says “no,” a proper response is, “I know you want it” because “you’re an animal, baby, it’s in your nature / just let me liberate you.” Sorry, but “no” means “no.” If you think the song isn’t talking about THAT, consider that the video portrays three fully dressed men who

Entertainment follow nude women around, leering at their derrieres, saying to them over and over, “I know you want it.” Consider that the lyrics say, “And that’s why I’m gon’ take a good girl/ I know you want it/ you’re a good girl/ can’t let it get past me.” And if that’s not clear enough for you, there’s a line later in the song that is so violent I cannot repeat it here, but it starts with, “I’ll give you something…” If Thicke really wanted to write a song and make a video that said something significant against the way our society objectifies women as sex objects for men to take as they please, then he why did he write a song and make a video that portrays women as sex objects for men to take as they please? This song is dangerous because it suggests that consent is a blurry line. And because the song is supposedly cheeky and funny, that idea can creep into people’s minds and make them think that rape is okay. If people don’t respect that “no” is an uncrossable line, they might try to talk their way past it and then blame the victim on the other side. While Fairview students are dancing to this song at Homecoming and they sing along with Thicke, “I know you want it,” the idea that the lines are blurry when it comes to consent seeps in their consciousness. Now I know that there are places in life where the lines are blurry--like sometimes you can’t tell what sort of precipitation is falling from the sky. The lines between sleet and hail and snow are sometimes pretty blurry. And I like to encourage my students to blur the lines between what they think school is asking them to do and what is possible for them to achieve if they really focus on making it meaningful to their lives. But when it comes to consent, the line is absolutely, unequivocally, NOT blurry.

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Entertainment

By Kim Brown The brilliant lights, the infectious music, the passionate dancing: all wrapped into one beautiful performance by Fairview’s most skilled, fine art students. This year’s musical is “The Music Man.” What lies behind the pounds of stage makeup and sparkly costumes? How many frustrations, arguments, tears, and emotions were a part of this journey to perfection? If the dressing room clothing racks or practice room walls could talk, they sure would have a lot to say. So for those of us less musically talented students, what is the preparation for the fall show really made of? “The kids work so hard and they are actually very mature. They know what’s best overall and I think that they really are passionate about making this production the best it can be. They’re all talented, but they also care about each others well-being and they all know that they got in for a reason and are willing to do what they need to” said Mrs. Vlachos, choir teacher involved with Music Man. Some students think being in the musical would be a challenge that would be hard to complete, while

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The Real Fairview Musical

others handle the balance between extracurriculars and school work with ease. The younger students are intimidated. “The musical seems scary,” Leah Carson, freshman, said. Her friends also associated the Fairview fine arts program with stress and high expectations. Despite this, over 100 students still audition every year. “Choir kids seem to support each other. When they talk about the music and the problems with that, I don’t know how they do it.” Jules Pierce, freshman, said. “The musical seems really hard, auditioning sounds super stressful, plus I do sports so I’m busy”, said Taylor Alexander, freshman. Older students assure the worried underclassmen that it is possible to be involved with more than one thing, especially sports and arts.

Homecoming Crossword

“I do both! Sports and musical go together a better than you’d imagine and I don’t think it’s too hard to be a part of more than one thing if you stay focused.” Robbie Dunn, senior said. The possibility for an equal balance may seem like a piece of cake at first, but after two months of daily work, things start to change in the practice rooms and backstage. Even though the actors seem to have perfect chemistry on stage, tension is a different story after long rehearsals. “Being together for long hours everyday makes us a little on edge, which causes arguments,” said Frances Purcell, senior. Apparently, months of preparation cause students to adapt, not only their school work, but also socially, being friends with and hanging out together Story continued on page 23 DOWN 1. Also known as “dancing” 2. Dr. Seuss 3. Tuesday Spirit Day 5. Friday night event 7. One __ , two __ , red __ , blue __ 8. Monday Spirit Day 12. Classy Homecoming Transportation ACROSS 4. Trees in Dr. Seuss 6. Green Eggs and ___ 9. Thursday Spirit Day 13. Wednesday Spirit Day 14. Olive Garden, The Med, Pasta Jays, etc...

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during practice. “It’s all about getting to know the people around you and interacting with them socially. That’s the most important part,” Austin Beaven, senior said. “We are like a family. Like a real family we bond, but we get frustrated at each other too.” Tonya Ingerson, senior. Photos by Emily Ellis

Not only are actors under pressure, the whole production relies on many people, particularly the crew. Technical support and set-making are only a few of the jobs for a crew member. They are the sweat behind the flashing lights and extensive background changes. “We do a lot, but there aren’t very many of us,” said Kelsey Gallotte, junior. The small group of stage crew members is very productive and able to meet the needs of the rest of the staff. “Sometimes the only thing we can do is continue to complete our tasks

Crash My Party: Album Review

production. Songwriting, though is a disappointment. Bryan’s only songwriting credits are the two songs he co-wrote. As for the ones where he hired professional songwriters, the lyrics were still questionable. One fine example of poor songwriting is the lyric “And she was like, ‘Oh my God, this is my song, I’ve been listening to the radio all night long’” from the song “Play it Again.” This lyric exhibits juvenile language, even though the song was written by two professional songwriters, Dallas Davidson and Ashley Gorley. The clearly commercial method being used here is difficult to call quality artistic creation, but rather commercial music manufactured to sell. Song by song, mediocrity is common. Bryan clearly took the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach, and stuck with the same four chord, twangy anthems that we all know. The first track, “That’s My Kind of Night,” is one of the worst songs on this album. It is simply ordinary, but it definitely has universal appeal to those who enjoy music that refers to having a good time. “Blood Brothers” is an intriguing song, similar to “We Run This Town,” but darker and maybe even better. It chronicles a gritty outlaw

Review by Mike Sparkman

Over the years, country has made a comeback after it mutated itself into a genre that incorporated major elements of rock and pop. Today, Luke Bryan’s country album “Crash My Party” is near the top of the Billboard 200. However, in terms of quality, it is largely a disappointment. I have never been partial to genericism, and this album screams generic. There is little to be found here that anyone hasn’t heard ten times over in a different key or at a different pace, with a slightly different chord progression, etc. However, it isn’t a subjectively awful album. The instrumentation is impressive and heavily layered, and generally pleasing to the ears. You can hear the many guitars, pianos, organs, banjos, you name it, and they appear flawlessly because of today’s digital editing ease. You won’t have a problem with the production if you like crisp, clean, won’t-offend-anyone

Entertainment

and manage,” said Vicky Westphal, senior. With all of this effort from so many people, it won’t be surprising when the “Music Man” sells out. “Last year, we sold out every seat for almost five shows. By the last night, we were turning people away,” said Mrs. Vlachos, “We want to do even better this year”. life, some deeper subject matter that is more than welcome in my musical preferences. That being said, the satisfaction that I got from “Blood Brothers” was killed by “Out Like That,” another “That’s My Kind of Night” clone that, if you happened to buy a vinyl record of this album, may make you check that record to see if it is broken. While I myself am not a big fan of the pop-country hybrid that this album displays, I have enjoyed my share of country music (like Uncle Tupelo and Wilco), and I know it can be quite good in the right circumstances. This album is one I consider to be subpar because I listened deeply to the music and found many regurgitations of the same lyrics, chord progressions, just about any substantial base component of a musical composition. This lack of diversity outweighs the couple of songs that I found to be solid, well-rounded tracks. This is because a good album should be one with no filler. This album falls short of an original, meaningful artistic statement. Read the full review at: fhsroyalbanner.com/entertainment

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Students’ Dress: Why Do We Insist on Promiscuity? By the Royal Banner Staff

Every student knows that there are clothing regulations in Fairview--there’s a dress code at every school. However, how many students know what the dress code is? How many students have read the half-page in the front of the planner that outlines the minimum expectations of the teachers and administration? Every day there are students who wear clothing that is “sheer, tight, loose, or low cut,” clothing that “bares or exposes the stomach, back...or underwear”, or “displays reference to drugs, alcohol, or other controlled substances.” Last year for Spirit Week, there was even “Bro Day”, where the premise was to wear things like bro tanks and muscle shirts; the code explicitly bans muscle shirts.

When you do dress inappropriately, it is disrespectful to your administrators, teachers, peers, as well as yourself. That is not to say it’s a bad thing that the school takes a very relaxed stance on the dress code; there is an argument that it promotes a comfortable and stress free working environment. Rose Lupinacci, part of the FHS administrative staff, said “it’s more of an issue of being comfortable in school, in your body and what you’re wearing.” However, this lack of enforcement means the most important line in the dress code becomes irrelevant: “Clothing that causes, or is likely to cause, a disruption to the edu-

cational process, the classroom environment, or the the maintenance of a safe and orderly school.” The fact of the matter is that excessively short shorts, low cut tops, muscle shirts, explicit t-shirts, and otherwise promiscuous clothing is a distraction not only to other students, but also for teachers and administrators. Scott Peoples, a long-serving history teacher at Fairview said “I feel uncomfortable when I know I should say something and I feel like I can’t... If I say, ‘you really need to put on a shirt that covers more’, the girl’s response is gonna be ‘well what are you looking at?’. And then suddenly I’m a dirty old man and a pervert, instead of somebody who’s just trying to maintain some sense of decorum in this academic atmosphere.” Peoples is not the only one who feels that provocative dress is a distraction in the classroom. Paul Strode, a Fairview Biology teacher, when asked if inappropriate dress affects his teaching said “It doesn’t affect my views [of the student], but I think that it’s impossible for it not to affect me at some level.” This level of promiscuity is especially jarring for those new to Fairview. Kate Stevens, a student teacher from CU Boulder, said “It [the amount of inappropriate dress in Fairview] was shocking even for college student status.” She elaborated by saying “there are obviously the [students] that have a nice way of expressing themselves and dress perfectly fine…[but] there are some where you are trying to talk to them… and it’s a little shocking

and a little distracting.” Thus the question arises: why do we, as students, insist on wearing inappropriate, unprofessional clothes even as it makes teachers uncomfortable and affects our education? Ms. Lupinacci said “we’re all about making sure that the environment is a good learning environment for everybody.” How can the administration succeed in making a good environment if we continue to insist on wearing clothing that is distracting for your peers and teachers?

“We’re all about making sure that the environment is a good learning environment for everybody.” Stevens said “The minute you hit the working world, you’re going to want to express yourself, but you want to express yourself in a way that’s gonna be not offensive.” This is true, to a point. However, it falls short when you consider that, until you graduate from high school, college, or graduate school, education is your full-time job. The purpose of going to school is to educate yourself and further prepare for the world outside of school. Therefore, it is in your best interests to respect your peers and teachers enough to wear appropriate clothing for school. It is categorically unacceptable to make those around you uncomfortable simply for personal expression. When you do dress inappropriately, it is disrespectful to your administrators, teachers, peers, as well as yourself.

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“I feel uncomfortable when I know I should say something and I feel like I can’t...If I say, ‘you really need to put on a shirt that covers more’, the girl’s response is gonna be ‘well what are you looking at?’. And then suddenly I’m a dirty old man and a pervert, instead of somebody who’s just trying to maintain some sense of decorum in this academic atmosphere.” ~Scott Peoples

Photo by Emily Ellis

Opinions

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Opinions

Sports and School: Why Are They So Different? By Lucia Rose

Softball and baseball are set apart from all other sports by one quality. They are both games of failure, and not only failure, but how the players and the team responds to failure. A .300 batting average is a wonderful thing in both games, but if you look at the actual statistic, a batter with a .300 average missed the ball 7 out of 10 times. In scholastic terms, that is a very low F. In baseball, however, that statistic is seen as a success. What if we translated the definition of “success” in baseball to school? What if students weren’t terrified by an average or below average grade, instead they learned from the at bat and stepped back into the box the next inning, ready to crush the fastball? What if an error in the field, or a test that hadn’t been studied to the student’s fullest ability, was just a mark in the book, but didn’t ruin the player’s career. What if an error was acknowledged as an opportunity to learn and get better? This would not only relieve stress and pressure put on students, it would also teach them how to learn to love failure, not to fear it. Society preaches the importance of failure and mistakes, but simultaneously demands perfection. Baseball is a game of failure. The players are forced to shake off an error or an upsetting at bat, the game is too short to dwell on mistakes. Learn from them, of course, but do not let them take control of your performance. How incredible would it be to go to a school where a failed test is just an opportunity to learn? Where the

only way you can really succeed it to deeply understand the material, where it didn’t matter if you could memorize details because numbers and grades didn’t matter?

How incredible would it be to go to a school where a failed test is just an opportunity to learn? Instead, just the way you play the game. Why not be evaluated on how you respond to an error, an

unexpected change-up, or a fake bunt that sped past you, not on the “mistake” itself? Did you throw your helmet, kick the dirt, blame your teammates, coaches, the umps, even yourself, or did you clear your mind, focus on the next play, and make sure you won’t make the same mistake again? This is the mentality that not only kids, but teachers, administrators, parents, and society as a whole needs to inherit in order to significantly make a difference in the stress levels of Fairview’s students.

Photo by Aleah Matthews-Runner Blair Tyse, an academic tutor at Fairview, and senior Jamie Walsh study in the library. Why does this have to be so different from practicing softball?

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A Transition in Tradition

By Aleah Matthews-Runner

Photo By Royal Banner, 1973 The Homecoming game is tonight at Recht Field, starting at 7:00 PM. But, what is the game about? According to Sydney Chinowsky, junior at Fairview High School, when she went to the game her freshman year, “It was mostly about school spirit rather than the actual football game.” Many students and teachers seem to have a similar idea. “The game is great morale for the team and fun for the spectators,” said Jim Lefebvre, the librarian at Fairview. Over the last couple of decades, the Homecoming game has changed. A game originally about the alumni coming back and supporting their school has become a student experience, or so the student body thinks. Despite popular belief, many of the alumni do come back. “Some of those guys are screaming the loudest,” said Mr. Lefebvre. But where alumni used

Photo by Owyn Cooper to escort the homecoming queen, parents now take that job. Fairview should re-integrate alumni into the Homecoming game. This would keep the Fairview community and tradition alive, and would allow alumni to come back to their roots. Current students could see where past classes ended up. Many FHS students said they would like it if the alumni came back to involved in the Homecoming game. “It might be really interesting, to see where people went after high school,” said Alex Keenan, a senior at Fairview High School. Abigail Dorn, sophomore at Fairview High School, and Wyeth Catlin, freshman, didn’t think alumni should come back for the game. “It would be weird to see 25 year olds at a Homecoming game” said Abigail Dorn. However, Catlin said the alumni should have “their own event”.

Hopefully, within a couple of years, alumni can be more integrated into the Homecoming game tradition. This would allow the current students to see where past students have gone, and as Becca Fantalis, sophomore at Fairview, said, it would show “that it’s still a big family group, branches out to people who used to go [here]”. The tradition of the Homecoming game is to support the Fairview community, past and present. Going back to the roots of the game would be beneficial to the whole Fairview community. Although a complete change isn’t possible this year, Student Council encourages alumni, especially from 1964, 1974, 1984, 1994 and 2004, to attend. The game will be another great knight of Fairview talent, from the football team, poms squad, marching band, and cheer team. So enjoy!

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Humor

The Court Jester: Mixing Up Gender Roles

Left to right: Jaime Sutton, Zach Owen, JD Stangoni, Johanne Albrightson , and Hannah Gould rock the new drag look. Photo Credit: Juliana Russell

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Humor

Drag Queens Have It Right

woman’s style which must include: a belly shirt/crop top, booty shorts, and transparent leggings. However, not all girls agree. Sophomore Katya Sadoff said, “It’s biased how girls always have to wear mini-shirts and short shorts at school while guys just get to wear sweats and bro-tanks. Why can’t we do that too?” Guys should break down the barriers of gender roles and rock those hairy legs. Why not add some makeup? Why should girls have all of the fun? And for the ladies, time to objectify the guys and realize a button down shirt and tie can look classy. Leave the belly shirts and bare legs to the men for a bit and see how they look. And so marks the beginning of a new era of fashion for the ages. Drag is the new black!

Gay Teen Chooses To Be Straight

Photo Credit: Juliana Russell

By Juliana Russell We’re bringing crossdressing back. Why should mini dresses be only for women? Time to destroy gender fashion stereotypes. Girls in baggy b-ball shorts and bro-tanks are underrated. Men in half shirts and spanx? Even better. Drag queens have the right idea, boys. The unfolding culture of crop tops on respectable women have finally led to objections from the male population. “I think the reason why they do it is because either it feels really loose and airy,” Aakash Vaidya, senior, said. “They know that us guys love hips.” Not only are crop tops coming back into style this upcoming, crisp winter, but translucent skin tight pant-like wear (sometimes referred to as leggings) are making a comeback for girls as well. “I love not having to wear actual pants everyday, it feels good.” Sheridan Gill, senior, said. “Pants are overrated.” Fortunately for us, the male population has realized this as well. Junior Matt Shepherd said, “All men should be dressed to the nines. Always.” In this case, it means mimicking a

By Maddie Stachniak

“I didn’t know it was that simple,” teen says.*

Mackenzie Jones first made the choice to be gay when she was eight. “I remember having a huge crush on Lindsay Lohan before she got all messed up. I wished I was a guy so I could like girls, but after I realized girls could like girls too, I chose to become a raging lesbian instead,” said Jones. Jones, now 17, is a reformed gay and wants nothing more than to spread her new message of love and self acceptance to the world. “I know there are other people like me out there, and to them I just want to say: I realized that if I changed myself to make other people happy, I’d be happy too. Someone told me it was a choice. So I just chose to stop being gay. And you can do it too,” said Jones. Happy couple Todd and Mackenzie with Sarah. “I’m so glad I chose to be straight. I realized that I really was just acting out and chose to be gay for the attention. As much as I miss being physically harmed, harassed and called names on a daily basis, I know in my heart that it’s better to be like everyone else. And now I am,” Jones said. At age 16, Jones and her ex girlfriend, reformed lesbian Sarah Goldbloom, launched the Straight is Great campaign. It is an organization whose mission is to urge LGBT people across the nation to choose heterosexuality. “Yes, Mackenzie and I used to date. She’s just... well we’re best friends now and that’s great. That’s so, so awesome. Yeah. She has a great boyfriend, Todd. He’s... a boy. And he’s really nice. So that’s good,” said Goldbloom of the relationship. “But of course Sarah and I are still really close,” said Jones. “Like, we have sleepovers all the time. We cuddle a lot...and hold hands. And you know, she always smells so good... But it’s not gay! I swear! I promise I’m not gay. Please believe me. Please.”

*This story is purely satire and the people in it are figments of my imagination.

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P.E. Teachers Take Over School By Ethan Kennedy

Photo Credit: Juliana Russell

A strange occurrence has been going on in the halls of Fairview High. Students have been mysteriously doing better in their classes. Crop circles have been appearing in the baseball fields. One may ask what could be going on. The investigators at the Royal Banner News Network have narrowed the search to the P.E. department. More specifically, their new heart rate monitors. The monitors (illegal in 57 states) were purchased on the black market. Why would the P.E. teachers go through such risk to obtain these very specific type of heart rate monitors? Maybe because they don’t just monitor our hearts. When asked the question, head football coach and weight room teacher Tom McCartney called the monitors a “great tool,” but what are they a great tool for? You see, the Physical Education department teachers are fed up with their jobs. They have taken up a new passion: cloning super students. This secret was uncovered when our investigators went undercover in the Fitness classes to find the source of the strange occurrences. The heart rate monitors are infused with the rare element, Twerkium. Twerkium is a poisonous substance in large doses and is banned by the FDA. It forms when the sweat collected from the Back to School informal solidifies on the dance floor. The Twerkium holds tiny robots that enter the body through our sweat glands in order to collect information about you during your workout. After a hard

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**The Royal Banner fully supports the new Fitness program.

An undercover photo of McCartney’s treachery. period’s work, the tiny robots retract into the watch and the information is stored in test tubes in a secret laboratory under the new gym floor. “Each student is responsible for their own personal wellness plan,” said McCartney but how much of our wellness do we control? The truth is they are replacing the students with their Better Students (BS.) These BSers can be easily spotted; they are just simply better at everything. They can conjure school projects and papers out of thin air and are raising our average test scores by 25 percent. You never know where they might be lurking. They could be anyone and anywhere. The P.E. teachers’ BS are unpredictable and wild. One thing for sure is if this goes unstopped, World Domination is imminent. Be careful students of Fitness, because none of you are safe.

Blurred Lines: How to Treat a Lady Right By Maddie Stachniak

Robin Thicke’s popular song “Blurred Lines” is currently number 12 on the iTunes charts, and anyone can see the reason behind this: the stunningly poetic lyrics. It is clear from this song that Thicke knows exactly what women want, even if they say different. So, without further ado, here are some tips on how to treat a lady right, ripped straight from the genius that is “Blurred Lines.” Right off the bat when listening to this song, I realized exactly how intelligent Thicke must be. I mean, to write a line such as this: “I'll give you something big enough to tear your a** in two.” I’m just going to let this sheer poetry speak for itself. And they say romance is dead. But I have to say, I was much more impressed with Thicke’s point: consent is not necessary. How awesome is that? And here I was thinking that you have to respect people. (continued on next page)

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Free Bacon!

A letter from the Lost and Found: “Hello, world! My name is Bacon the Cosmic Pig of Wisdom, and this is my cry for help. I have been sitting, alone, in the lost and found for weeks, and I’m starting to smell like that weird kid’s socks. I am the Cosmic Pig of Wisdom! How could you abandon me! It’s a guy, isn’t it? You found a guy, and now I’m not important to you anymore. Fine. I have better things to do. I’ll just talk to this pair of used underpants and the broken umbrella… Wait! I didn’t mean it! I’m the cuddliest of all! You know that! That broken pencil case is giving me a really weird look. I’m not like these other things. I’m a good pig. I don’t deserve to be here. The binders are planning a riot, and I know that somebody’s going to stab me with a pencil. Anyone, please, save me! Call the Innocence Project. Join the campaign to free Bacon. You all must help me. Tell your friends, teachers, and parents. Liberate the lost and found! Free Bacon the Cosmic Pig of Wisdom! We must end the oppression. So if you own me or if you witnessed the crime of abandonment that landed me here, come forward.” -Bacon the Cosmic Pig of Wisdom This is the tragic story of Bacon, the pig who has been trapped in the lost and found since August. Driven to the brink of insanity by the horrors of his imprisonment, Bacon has barely endured his months of false incarceration. Join us to save Bacon! Donations are accepted. Please leave money in the lost and found next to Bacon. Cash and check accepted.

Humor By Raine Kennedy

Free Bacon the Cosmic Pig of Wisdom! Photo Credit: Maddie Stachniak

Blurred Lines (continued from previous page)

“I know you want it/I hate them lines/...The way you grab me/Must wanna get nasty.” She clearly wants it! Why would she, a female, touch you, a male, if she didn’t want to have sex with you? So remember people: women love it when you take “no” for “yes.” To clarify, when Thicke refers to “lines”, he means the often blurry lines of consent and what is or is not appropriate. Thankfully, he clears up some of this confusion with this song. If you think she wants it, she does. “I don’t know” obviously means “yes”. Heck, “no” means “yes” sometimes. Everyone knows that, and no one knows it better than Thicke. Also, I’m going to take a minute here to defend this guy. Why are you guys being so mean to him? I mean, just look at the lyrics in this song: “I'm a nice guy, but don't get it if you get with me.” See? He’s a nice guy! Really! He’s just helping out a confused girl by making a decision for her. Ain’t nothing wrong with that, and the ladies love it.

And can we please take a minute to talk about the visual genius that is the music video for this song? Let me preface this by saying that, as a woman, I love being objectified. And I say this with utter honesty. Let’s get real, people. Women absolutely love to be objectified. It is literally our favorite thing next to driving poorly. When I first watched that music video, tears of joy escaped my eyes. Because there is nothing I enjoy more than watching naked women prance around, displayed before me like pieces of meat that are there solely for my judgement. I think I speak for women everywhere when I say that being treated as an object has never felt so good. So thank you, Mr. Thicke. Without you, we would never really know what women want. Because everyone understands that women don’t really know what they want. That’s a man’s decision, and that man is Robin Thicke.

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