March 20, 2015

Fairview High School 1515 Greenbriar Blvd.

Vol. 55 No. 5

Questions

or comments?

Visit

us at:

www.fhsroyalbanner.com Check out the online edition of the Royal Banner for real time coverage of school events, additional coverage of print stories, photos, videos, and more.

The Royal Banner 14-15 Staff Editors in chief Alex Ray

Lucia Rose David Sachs Maddie Stachniak

Section Editors

Student News Rachel Grushan Opinions Rachel Perley Entertainment Varun Narayanswamy, Mike Sparkman Sports Ethan Kennedy Humor Maya Jayachandra Photo Matt Hise Copy Owyn Cooper Social Media Rachel Perley

Staff Reporters

laura brack, hannah carande, ben gelderloos, sara mccrea, anna preobrazhensky, sage rose, josie russell, keren sneh, cameron walsh, alli williams, harrison young, isabel zuniga.

Courtesy Photos: cteilia tewey

student news entertainment opinion sports humor 6parcctesting

8mediametamorphosis

11askanna

13springsports

14rbaree

Business

Adviser Sarah M. Zerwin For Subscriptions: Send $25 to Royal Banner, Fairview

High School, Room 339, 1515 Greenbriar Blvd,

Boulder, CO 80305, or contact us at alex.ray@fhsroyalbanner.com

About the Banner The Royal Banner Magazine is a 16 page news magazine. The Banner is written primarily for the over 2000 students attending Fairview High School and is distributed free of charge to all members of the school community. Accurate reporting of fact is the goal of the staff. Commentaries, opinion columns and letters to the editor are the expressed opinion of the author and not of The Royal

Banner and its Editorial Board or its adviser.

*Disclaimer: Under Colorado law, no expression made by students in the exercise of free speech or freedom of the press shall be deemed to be an expression of school policy. No school district, employee, legal guardian or official of such a district shall be held liable in any criminal action for any expression made or published by a student. The Royal Banner sells advertisements for publicity and to pay for printing costs.

We reserve the right to refuse to run any advertisement deemed inappropriate to the Fairview community.

2 | TABLE OF CONTENTS | fhsroyalbanner.com

65

calendardaysuntilgraduation Cover photo: Emily Bollman and Michel Stahli as Romeo and Juliet. Photo: Matt Hise

C

hange, intuitively you know exactly what I’m writing about when you read the word. But the truth is, change can’t be defined. Even the Merriam-Webster Dictionary seems to struggle with the definition: Change (v) - to become different.

Okay, fine. I’ll buy into that definition.

But then what does different mean?

Different (adj) - not the same.

I’ll play the game one more time to see if I can get anywhere.

Same (adj) - not changed.

Great. Any high schooler with a dry

Photo: David Sachs

sense of humor could’ve gotten me this far.

Why is change so hard to define?

Maybe it’s because change is just an appearance and not a reality. Or maybe it’s because change is a reality and not an appearance. Or maybe it could be both and neither at the same time.

There are two ways we can change internally and externally. Most people around us see us, just see and judge our external changes. But they do not

see how or when we change internally.

The contradiction of the way we see change could be why we can’t define it.

We can’t simply avoid the contradiction by saying there is only one point of view of change. You see changes in yourself that no one else understands. At the same time, other people see changes in you, while you still feel exactly the same. Change is defined by the people who observe it.

by Rachel Perley

fhsroyalbanner.com | CHANGE | 3

Education: Empowering the Victims of Sexual Assault

A

by Alex Ray

ccording to the Daily Camera, on the morning of February 12th, an 18 year old student attending Fairview High School was arrested for multiple accounts of sexual assault. The name of the student wasn’t released because he was a juvenile at the times of the reported sexual assaults.

There is a sexual assault every 107 seconds in the United States, according to RAINN

(Rape Abuse & Incest National Network). That adds up to approximately 293,000 sexual assaults in the United States every year. However, the alleged rapist being a juvenile at the time of the incidents is somewhat surprising to most people; it’s surprising that a high school student could? commit such atrocities. But it shouldn’t be surprising.

A 2000 study by the Bureau of Justice found that

23% of sexual offenders are under 18 years old. It’s common knowledge that a large num-

ber of victims are juveniles, but offenders? The fact that fully one quarter of all sexual assaults are committed by juveniles is absolutely disturbing, but it’s even more disturbing that this isn’t common knowledge.

The fact of the matter is that sexual assault doesn’t just begin in college. Between the University of Virginia sexual assault drama, the victim carrying mattresses at Columbia, and even students convicted of sexual assault at CU Boulder, there is no shortage of sexual assault scandals at the collegiate level that receive national attention. But no one discusses sexual

assaults in high school.

Think about it: the New York State Division of Criminal Justice Services says that previously convicted offenders have a 37% re-offense rate. It’s possible that? some of these rapists that people see across the nation for one thing or another also assaulted someone while in high school.

If the ideal state is to have a lower number of sexual 4| SPECIAL FEATURE | fhsroyalbanner.com

assaults in the United States, there needs to be more education in high schools.

Stensrud said, “I don’t think colleges and

high schools have really addressed the issue head on. I don't think health class in 10th grade is enough.”

From rapecrisis.org: It is a fact that if you’re drunk, you do not have the ability to give or refuse consent. It is a fact that it is never the victim’s fault in cases of sexual assault. It is a fact that 90% of rapes are committed by known men, not strangers.

Amanda Kemphues, spokeswoman for Movement to End Sexual Assault (MESA) said, “The imagined victim is a young woman dressed wearing a short skirt walking alone at night. Her imagined attacker jumps out of the bushes wearing a mask and wielding a weapon.

This scenario almost never happens. Instead, most

survivors know their attacker before the

were interested in more sexual assaults being reported and removing offenders from their institutions, they would find a way to educate their students.

There is undoubtedly an issue when students hesitate to report sexual assaults because they think they might not be in the right to speak up. They think that speaking up against their attacker might negatively impact their relationships or put themselves in physical danger.

“I think we need to empower girls,” said Stensrud. “They need to feel that they have the ability to report safely. I think we need to empower women to think, no, sexual assault is sexual assault. It’s never the girl’s fault. For young men we need to spend time educating that no means no.”

Kemphues said, “Sexual assault is the most underreported violent crime, with 84% of sexual assaults never being reported to the police … It is an extraor-

dinary act of bravery for someone to report a sexual assault, especially a young person who faces even greater barriers to reporting than older adults. The survivors at your school--those who

have reported and those who have not--deserve respect and support.”

While the ideal state is a total dearth of sexual assault in the world, it’s obvious that that will never happen.

In the short term the best we can hope for is a greater number of victims reporting sexual assaults and a smaller number of offenders. If there is clear, ex-

plicit education regarding sexual assault early, there will be none of these destructive misconceptions that lead to more assaults and less reportings. assault … Sexual assault is about power and control rather than sexual desire.”

It’s also a fact that many students are not aware of these inarguable truths.

“It [sexual assault] is probably more prevalent than we think it is, because we do know statistically that most sexual assaults are not reported,” said Stensrud.

If students were properly educated and knew that they cannot give consent when inebriated, more sexual assaults would be reported.

If students were properly educated and knew that what they were wearing does not make the sexual assault their fault, more sexual assaults would be reported.

If students were properly educated and knew that nonconsensual, inappropriate actions of close friends or family members are inarguably sexual assault, more sexual assaults would be reported.

If secondary and postsecondary schools

The fact of the matter is that there are large numbers of sexual assault where either the aggressor or the victim are of high school age, and pushing it under the rug will do nothing to change that fact. The only logical way of addressing the issue of sexual assaults in high school--as well as later in life--is for educational institutions to stand up and educate young adults

about that which is most important.

Moving to End Sexual Assault Hotline: 303-443-7300 Rape Awareness and Prevention Hotline: 303-322-7273 National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE Photo by Celia Tewey fhsroyalbanner.com | SPECIAL FEATURE | 5

Testing

:

Time

Has Standardized Testing Changed for Better or Worse?

By Rachel Grushan @rachelgrushanRB, Alli Williams @allijoyw, and Izzy Zuñiga @izzy_zuniga

T

he field of education is not a rigid one, often re-invented in order to adapt to changing times. The same goes for standardized testing on both national and state levels.

In 2010, Colorado took another look at its state academic standards and the tests being used to evaluate them. The results of changes made by the state five years ago are affecting students here and now, as Colorado was introduced to two new standardized tests this year, the Colorado Measures of Academic Success (CMAS) and the Partnership for Assessment of Readiness for College and Careers (PARCC).

The Royal Banner asked students and staff what they saw as the biggest changes in standardized testing during their academic careers. Responses were varied but give insight into the evolution of standardized tests in Colorado and the reception this evolution is receiving.

Computers One major change to standardized testing this year has been the shift from paper and pencil tests to the computers.

The reason for the transition is to receive the results of each student faster than before.

“Theoretically [computers] can get the data back faster. So that’s one of the big advantages of doing it on the computer,” said Assistant Principal Lynn Donnelly.

“But this year we are not going to get the data until next fall, even slower than the written test.”

Students have criticized the introduction of computers into the testing environment.

“I personally don’t like computer tests because you have to scroll and read,” said 6 | STUDNET NEWS | fhsroyalbanner.com

sophomore Rianna Patel.

Sophomore Punya Ramesh said, “It will take some getting used to.”

Computers also pose a significant problem for schools who do not have the technological resources to test students efficiently.

“A lot of schools don’t have the resources to give their whole student body a computer test,” said junior Maddie Weiss.

Duration of Testing When asked about the biggest change she has seen in standardized tests over the years, Donnelly said, “They keep increasing the amount of testing. That’s a big change.”

The HB14-1202 Taskforce formed by the state of Colorado estimated that the amount of instructional time lost to standardized testing in high school was the following: 29.9 hours for 9th grade, 28.1 hours for 10th and 11th grade, and 22.1 hours for 12th grade. This adds up to about 106 hours overall, the equivalent of 115 normal class periods across the four grades.

“Students are already frequently assessed on their knowledge. At what point are we going too far?” Mr. Lewis

The amount of standardized testing has proven a controversial topic this year, as parents, students, and educators voice their concern both in Colorado and across the nation.

Outrage over the CMAS in November lead to a mass opt-out, with only seven seniors choosing to take the test. PARCC is receiving similar criticism from students. “[Testing] has just gotten a lot longer,” said junior Teagan Signorelli.

Junior Brooke Garbarini, although saying that “it would be great to have more instructional time,” also points out that sacrificing class time is necessary in order to receive important data from testing.

“Ultimately, I think we have to give up some amount of time in order to measure student performance,” she said.

Data Analysis “We had standardized testing when I was school,” said Donnelly. “I think the big difference is that now we use the data.

I don’t know if we did anything with it when I was in school.”

Data analysis is essential to schools in order to identify which students may

need further guidance.

“Testing is a good thing when it helps us to become better teachers for all students,” said Language Arts teacher Angie Luper. “The measurements have pointed out that there are some pockets of students that are not doing well and schools have studied the results to address the needs of those students.”

However now, in order to get more authentic data, those in charge of standardized testing are considering administering three tests, the reasoning behind this being to gather more valid results on each test and generate accurate statistics.

“Most [educators] won’t object to one 40 or 45 minute test a year.” Mr. Stott

However, Donnelly worries that this strategy may not yield students’ best results.

“By the third test you’re getting burned out, especially if you don’t know what the point is, or what value [the test] has for you,” she said.

The Common Core State Standards The Common Core is a set of academic standards in math and language arts which have been adopted by 43 states including Colorado. According to their website, the goal of the Common Core is to “outline what a student should know and be able to do at the end of each grade.”

State standards for student achievement underwent major changes in 2010, when the Colorado State Board of Education voted to incorporate the Common Core State Standards (CCSS) into the Colorado Academic Standards (CAS).

This addition is apparent in standardized tests like PARCC, which focus more heavily on analytical skills and critical thinking than tests of the past. “[PARCC] is testing students’ ability to work on a problem and think deeply about what they are learning rather than rote memorization,” said Garbarini in defense of the PARCC test.

Although educators may agree that

the change in material of state mandated tests has improved, some still find issues with other aspects of the test.

“I think the PARCC test is a well written test, I think it’s a good test,” said Jim Lewis, Language Arts teacher. “Time is a major factor though. Students are studying for AP tests, IB assessments, ACTs, and SATs, not to mention tests for all of their classes.”

Juniors Another major change to state-mandated standardized testing is that neither CSAPs nor TCAPs tested students past the 10th grade, while PARCC tests through 11th grade. High school students experience a peak in testing as juniors, taking AP and IB tests, the ACT, and the SAT, sometimes more than once.

“Students are already frequently assessed on their knowledge,” said Lewis.

“At what point are we going too far?”

Donnelly explained during a Q&A session that since PARCC is a national test, it is administered in some states which do not mandate that juniors take the ACT. In this way, PARCC takes the ACT’s place, collecting data about eleventh graders at a national level. However, states like Colorado which do require juniors to take the ACT still must test their juniors with PARCC as well.

Dean of Students and former LA teacher Jay Stott said, “I think we [teachers] are all pretty comfortable with the idea that the SAT, and to a similar extent the ACT, can do a pretty good job of getting a rough approximation of where a student is at.”

Junior Chris Wagers is one of many students who will be taking the ACT twice this year, as well as the SAT and an AP test for Language Arts. He said that the PARCC test “takes almost all the test prep time that we have in that [LA] class which is really an issue. The extent to which they are taking [standardized testing] is over the top.”

What Comes Next?

Changing standardized testing to please everyone will always be a difficult task. According to students and teachers, the ideal standardized test would be shorter and wouldn’t define a student so distinctly.

“There is a whole lot more to a human being than their standardized test score.” Ms. Luper “As I talk to people in the education profession, most people won’t object to one 40 or 45 minute test a year,” said Donnelly.

According to the Washington Post, the number of states working with PARCC has dropped from 26 to 12 since 2010.

These states’ refusals to implement new standardized testing signals another important change in the world of education: an increase in backlash against standardized assessments.

“Test scores measure a student’s performance on the day they take the test, nothing more,” said Luper. “There is a whole lot more to human beings than their standardized test score. I am sorry that sometimes programs are cut, good teachers are fired, and students are traumatized because of the misuse of standardized tests.” fhsroyalbanner.com | STUDENT NEWS | 7

MEDIA METAMORPHOSIS N

othing can take us back to the “good ol’ days” as much as movies can. Over the past 55 years, culture and imagination exploded in this multicultural, worldwide event that came from these inspiring movies.

The number of good, bad, and wacky movies created is too numerous to count, but out of this time of turmoil, many great movies and classics were born: Check ‘em out!

From the 1960s arose a collection of great movies that you’ll never forget, movies such as “To Kill A Mockingbird” and “The Magnificent Seven” will stick in your mind for many years, whether you like these golden oldies movies, that’s for you to decide.

From the 1970s came an age of fiction and imagination. Movies like “Star Wars,”

“Jaws,” and “Monty Python and The Holy Grail” are incredible movies with lasers, giant sharks, and the wingspans of African swallows, this decade is huge when it comes to movies. So grab yourself a bag of popcorn, gather your mates, and binge on Netflix like never before!

The 1980s was a series of tears, fears, and cheers with these awesome flicks. With frightening movies such as “The Shining” and “Aliens,” horror movies rose to the top of the boards with their sci-fi take on the supernatural. Not only did some incredible horror movies spring to life, but movies such as “The Breakfast Club” and “Back To The Future” will remain with you well into the future(no pun intended) with fun and dramatic plots.

If you can’t place where “To Infinity, and beyond!” came from, you might not have

1960s

The Magnificent Seven, Mary Poppins, To Kill A Mockingbird, Night Of The Living Dead, Spartacus, 2001: A Space Odyssey.

1970s

Jaws, The Godfather, Star Wars, Monty Python and The Holy Grail, Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory.

1980s

The Shining, E.T, The Breakfast Club, The Terminator, Back to The Future, Indiana Jones, Batman, The Little Mermaid, Aliens, Top Gun

1990s

Schindler’s List, Forrest Gump, Home Alone, Beauty and The Beast, Jurassic Park, The Lion King. Shawshank Redemption, Braveheart, Toy Story, Nightmare Before Christmas.

2000s

Avatar, Lord of The Rings trilogy, Finding Nemo, WALL-E, Slumdog Millionaire, 28 Days Later, No Country For Old Men. 8 | ENTERTAINMENT | fhsroyalbanner.com

been a big 1990s movies fan. However, from this decade came a series of movies full of life, spunk, and comedy. Movies like “Toy Story” and “Home Alone” became great family movies. Over the course of the decade family-oriented movies rose to the top, there was also a large boom in more dramatic movies like “The Shawshank Redemption” and “Schindler’s List.”

Last but not least, possibly the best, are the movies from the 21st century onward.

Movies like “Avatar” and “WALL-E” came to the forefront of top movies. Over the last 15 years we’ve seen too many movies to count that deserve to be watched, and rewatched, and rewatched.

So get off of your butts and then onto your butts again and check out these movies!

by Cameron Walsh @cameron.walsh16 and Mike Sparkman @mike_sparkman

1960s

White Album (The Beatles), The Velvet Underground and Nico, Kind of Blue (Miles Davis)

1970s

Ramones (The Ramones), What’s Going On (Marvin Gaye), Exile on Main St. (The Rolling Stones)

1980s

Murmur (R.E.M.), Remain in Light (Talking Heads), It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back (Public Enemy)

1990s

Achtung Baby (U2), Nevermind (Nirvana), Selected Ambient Works 85-92 (Aphex Twin)

2000s

good kid, m.A.A.d. city (Kendrick Lamar), Is This It (The Strokes), Kid A (Radiohead)

B

y nature, music is an ever-changing form of art. The difference between, say, Mozart and Stravinsky may have seemed massive when Stravinsky first gained notice. However, roughly 100 years later this disparity pales in comparison to the difference between today’s modern pop stars and “The Rite of Spring.” Ever since the “album era” began in the early to mid 1950s, music has morphed and branched out at an astonishing speed, thanks to both technological advances and cultural transitions.

One of the most notable similarities between rock and roll in its original form and jazz is that both were born out of African-American culture. Rock and roll in particular exploded in the mid-1950s most likely because white musicians were becoming more and more immersed in African-American blues thanks to the gradually growing (but still limited) cultural/non-legal racial integration in the United States. The growth of rock

and roll was aided by the technological advancement of the newly invented electric guitar, which provided the loud and raucous sonic quality that was fitting for the genre.

Rock became more sophisticated through the ‘60s and ‘70s both instrumentally and lyrically. The increasingly tumultuous political landscape prompted and increased cynicism and honesty to be projected in popular music. Artists also began to experiment with previously unconventional instrumentation such as synths, classical strings, and “world” instruments, which resulted both in inspired genius and in a profligate implementation of these newfound resources. A direct reaction against these excesses was punk, a genre that permanently changed music as a whole and helped spawn alternative rock.

Punk’s brutal honesty thrived in the underground for over a decade, quietly changing the foundation of popular music until 1991. The understated ingenuity that had been subtly brewing in the ‘80s came

to a boiling point when Nirvana released their sophomore album, “Nevermind.”

Their subsequent tour with alternative rock forefathers Sonic Youth and Dinosaur Jr. saw Nirvana’s fame skyrocket, leaving such a lasting impact that music was changed forever.

As the 20th century came to a close, electronic music began to draw on more diverse influences, while simultaneously beginning to take a more minimalist approach, which led to an abundance of prolific works during the ‘90s. This prominence of eclectic influences grew in the new millenium, one that featured a paradoxical trend of retro music that still remained unique and original. For instance, the early 2000s saw the rise of a music scene heralded “the return of rock.”

While this scene eventually declined in prominence, it proved to be an excellent example of how the best music of the past 15 years draws creatively on past canonical works. fhsroyalbanner.com | ENTERTAINMENT | 9

A Knight in Fairview-rona Prologue: Mr. Boyer’s Opus

by Owyn Cooper

The auditorium is in chaos. Organized chaos, but chaos nonetheless.

Chattering students sit in the first five rows, talking about their days or the meeting about to happen.

Lanny Boyer, director and film teacher, has a cloud of four students surrounding him, waiting for their turn to approach him with their presence. I am one of them.

Boyer greets me with an easy smile after answering the others’ questions.

“Am I recording now?” He charms then stands not on the stage, but in front of it.

Sarah Halstead, art teacher and set designer/tech director for the play, stands at the front, with a few students.

Boyer starts with the basics, not using a microphone to address the crowd. He introduces himself, to the “shock” of the crowd because, to them, he needs no introduction. He continues to introduce Halstead as the tech director.

Then, he gets into the students involved, introducing Sydney Chinowsky, senior, as the assistant director, Evan Groover, junior, as the film director, Ky Lotte, senior, as the absent choreographer, and Kaili Mouscher, senior, as the costume designer.

Boyer takes the chance to address “the elephant in the room.”

“We cannot have a female Romeo…

When we went public with that, I got in trouble several different ways and the deal was, ‘No you can’t do it.’”

A potential way Boyer considered to shake up the traditional story for “Romeo and Juliet,” besides the new setting of 2014 San Francisco, was to make Romeo a female.

10 | Entertainment | fhsroyalbanner.com

I have spent the past four months with the cast and crew of “Romeo and Juliet” in order to understand what goes into a Fairview production. Here is an abridgment of the introductory meeting.

If you would like to read more about rehearsals, filmings, cast interviews and more, check out fhsroyalbanner.com

This did not pan out, due to security concerns.

These security reasons are based on the incident that was happening in Philadelphia: a professional theater production remade “Romeo and Juliet” by making the leads lesbians.

Before the show even opened, those involved were sent “over a thousand” death threats. Stensrud said, “(Fairview putting on the play) should be fine, but the fact that it’s going on in Philadelphia and they’re getting hate mail... We just can’t put kids in harm’s way.”

Back to the meeting. “Fortunately though, that was never central to our concept,” Boyer says, “We are setting our play in 2014 to 2015 on the Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco, California.”

Photo Credit: Matt Hise

Boyer jumps to talking about the how Evan will take five scenes and film them to incorporate into the play, a recent theme amongst Fairview productions. “We have the ability, we have one of the best film programs in the state of Colorado… It’s silly not to incorporate it.”

After talking a bit more about the film scenes, the tone of the meeting shifts.

“The question of suicide...” Boyer begins, and the crowd goes silent. “When I announced to the faculty in February/March of this year that we would be doing ‘Romeo and Juliet,’ the first email I received said, ‘You should pick another play that doesn’t glorify suicide.’ I thought, immediately- maybe you go through these stages- ‘(Weird noise only Boyer can make) It doesn’t glorify- does it glorify suicide? It glorifies suicide. No it doesn’t- does it?’ So anyway-” The crowd laughs.

“I spent two months trying to determine if in fact it does. There’s a scene at the very end, where both families erect statues in the names of the recently deceased... You don’t have to step too far to one side before you’re like, ‘They’re totally glorifying suicide.’ This production, above all else, will not glorify suicide. Having said that, we have to motivate reasons why we don’t. Are you following me on that?”

The crowd nods, looking at each other to see if they’re also nodding.

Boyer continues, “We will not be changing the show... I don’t believe in my interpretation that Romeo and Juliet took their own lives. They were left with no choice... This was the only recourse that a broken society had left them.”

AskAnna March2015 I

My dream has come true; I’m so very grateful and happy. I want to thank my family for helping me get to this point in my life and for always being there for me, helping me whenever I needed help and always having my back.

Next I want to thank all my teachers who have been accommodating and helpful to anything I need, always working with me, and trying to figure out a way for everything to work out.

I also want to make a special thank you to Michelle Pacheco, an admissions counselor from Metro, for coming out here and helping me complete my application and telling me the great news.

So all my readers, don’t ever give up on your dreams because they may really come true. It may be hard and scary getting there, but in the end, it is so worth it.

Thank you to everyone who has come into my life and helped me get this far.

Believe in your dreams, Fairview, because they really can come true.

Anna’s dog, Peef

“ “

Nick Lanzoni, Senior Probably take care of my family and then maybe go for an investment portfolio. And then I’m thinking a Nissan GTR and a yacht. (I already have one picked out.)

Trish Hyde, Junior I’d probably go crazy at Free People, and then save most for college.

Nick Lanzoni

“ “ “ “ “ “

“ “

Fernando Zuniga, Senior Help my parents pay off any debt for my brother for college.

Cauldron (top): clipartcottage Photos by Matt Hise

I am very happy about this. It has been one of the scariest things in my life, not knowing my future. My future has always been uncertain, but now at least college is certain.

Clover (top): Wikimedia Commons

Well I have reached another milestone in my senior year of high school. For years I have been worried about college. But now I am happy to say that my dream has come true and I will be going to Metropolitan State University.

Gold

What would you do if you won the Lottery tomorrow?

By Rachel Perley Tweet us @fhsroyalbanner.

Fernando Zuniga

Send me your questions at anna@fhsroyalbanner.com

Dreams really do come true.

By Anna Preobrazhensky n one of my past articles, I wrote about turning eighteen and how it was a milestone for me.

Pot Of

Kelsea Kilbride, Senior Big question. I’d probably do a bunch of random acts of kindness first, like leave money on people’s windshields and pay for people’s dinners at restauraunts.

Charlie Kennedy, Junior Probably buy a boat and pay our house off.

Julian Dreiman, Sophomore I would buy a Ferrari!... Then put the rest in the stock market or a bank account.

Julia McCue, Senior I’d buy a panda.

Sidney Andrew, Senior Buy a Lamborghini.

Alex Young, Senior Buy Cars!!

Tea Valdez, Freshman I would cry, then pay my way through college.

“

Kelsea Kilbride

Ashley Wang, Sophomore I’d save some of it for college, use some for traveling with my family, and donate the rest to organziations that support causes that I care about. I’d also want to get Fairview some new bathrooms.

fhsroyalbanner.com | OPINION | 11

#9 Sr. Casey Munsch

#15 So. Grace O’Neill

#3 Sr. Kamran Shabaz

The Knights Defense #12 So. Christine Schmiedeler

#3 Jr. Katie Sanko Sr. Preston Cates

Photo Credit: Matt Hise, Lucia Rose, Maddie Mckown, Ethan Kennedy

n

Spring Sports Preview

S

pring time is just around the corner and the warm spring weather is almost here.

With warm weather, comes spring sports, and with spring sports comes the Royal Banner Spring Sports Preview!

Splash Caleb Van Boven (Boys Swim) 1) I am most excited for high school state. That meet is in Colorado Springs this year and we're looking to place in the top 3.

2) I expect our team to do very well, we lost a couple big point contributors from the team last year, but we more than make up for it with our depth this year.

3) Look out for sophmores Michael Zarian and Justin Li as well as junior Benji Morris.

4) Personally I want to get two of our relays to the automatic All-American cuts and maybe an individual all american cut in the 50 freestyle or 100 freestyle.

5) I am most excited for our Boulder County Invite Meet.

The Crack of the Bat Tobiah Armstrong (Baseball) 1) Regis game, Saturday, March 21st. Be there.

2) Like last year. But better.

3) All the returning studs 4) Hittin dingers 5) Shaving Mitch Tyse's head

The Bang of the Starting Gun

Halea Kerr-Layton (Track)

Calvin Munson (Track)

1) The event I'm most excited about is the open 200.

2) I think that the team is going to do great this year because we have wonderful runners and great team spirit.

3) I think that there are going to be a lot of standout runners. Some people going for school records and a lot of personal records beat!

4) I look forward to cheering everyone on! I hope to PR in my races the 200 and the 100.

5) This season should provide a lot of excitement not only at meets but during practice as well! I'm looking forward to being part of this great team!

1) I am very excited to run the 400m this year.

2) I think that we are going to do really well this year! One of our greatest strengths this year is that we have a very young team, so the experience that everyone will get throughout this season will make for the next couple years being really successful.

3) Do you want me to list them all?

4) I want to have a really fun senior track season and represent my team at the State Championships.

5) I am very excited to run against some of my friends from other schools, as well as the Boulder County Championships and State Championships.

The Roar of the Niedringhaus Gaelyn Crowder (Girls Soccer) 1) Probably the rivalry games like Boulder and Monarch and then Fossil Ridge who we haven’t beat since playoffs freshmen year and then seeing how well we do in playoffs.

2) We always have a really strong team but we can’t go into the season expecting to do really well, we have to work to prove ourselves.

3) Allison Zech stepping to defensive midfield and Sophie Fear stepping into attacking midfield.

4) Lead the team to some great victories and have the best season in my high school career.

5) It’s my last season playing for Fairview and I’m really excited for it to get started and to just make it a season for the books.

Questions 1. What is your most anticipated event of the season?

Story by: Ethan Kennedy 2. How well do you expect the team to do this year? @ekennedy57 3. Who do you think will be standout players this year?

4. What are some of your personal goals for the season? Photo Credit: Matt Hise 5. What are you personally most excited for this season?

The Whoosh of the Lax Ball Andrew Yi (Boys Lacrosse) 1) I’m really looking forward to the Boulder/Fairview game, last year our defense shut them down, hopefully we’ll do the same this year. Since Fairview and Boulder kids mostly play for BOCO, a local club team, we know each other pretty well. It should be a lot of fun!

2) Last year we graduated 6 of 10 starters and altogether 11 seniors so we lost a lot of experience but we have more of an underdog attitude this year, so we should be alright.

3) Connor May, our 2014 offensive MVP, will lead the offense. Colten Jackson, is leading the defense and has some big shoes to fill left by Sean Levine, an All-American.

4) Last year I finished the season with a 58% face off win percentage, the goal this year is to bump that up to 60 and add a couple more goals this year.

5) Personally I’m excited to see the team grow over the season. We have a lot of guys coming up from JV and they’ll improve very fast. Our team lost a lot of talent last year but we have some insane athletes coming up like Luke Smagac and Nick D’esposito.

fhsroyalbanner.com | SPORTS | 13

RB REE

Royal Banner Assessment of Readiness for Everything Ever

The Royal Banner Assessment of Readiness for Everything Ever (RBAREE) is a group of standardized tests to gauge students’ definitive level of future success and set in stone the entire life path of all students. Similar to the PARCC test some students have had the pleasure of taking, the RBAREE will be important to your future and impact your life in many vague, unspecifiable ways.

by Ben Gelderloos @GelderloosBen Letter A belongs to PARCC

ALGEBRA II MATHEMATICS PBA PRACTICE TEST Today you will be taking Unit 1 of the assessment.

In order to answer a question you must select one answer that you believe is correct or most correct for the question. You should not answer the question by selecting an option that you believe to be incorrect but instead answer based on what you postulate the correct answer to the question might be. If you are in any way confused about how to answer a question on the test please refer to Appendix I of the instructions, which details the exact process needed to submit a response.

Part A At a 4-year school attended by Sue, there are roughly 2200 students with 500 per class. The PARCC test hopes for 95% of students to take the test. If Bobby, a student, knows that at least 67 people are refusing the test and Julia only knows 237 people at the school, will Dennis be taking the test? Draw a picture about this word problem in any computer program approved in Appendix IIB of the official RBAREE instructions, making sure to include labels. Justify your answer in the space provided. You do not need to turn in the drawing.

/

UNIT 1: CALCULATOR

4 OF 13

Part B For the equation (-√2a+b^2)/c=1, which variable takes the fewest steps to move to the opposite side?

A.

B

B.

C

C.

A

D.

Too confused about the answers to choose one.

Part C Solve this problem: PARCC Testing takes 13 periods of school time for each student.

A. B. C.

14 | HUMOR | fhsroyalbanner.com

/

x = Suspend all class for periods of time to allow all students to simultaneously use the internet and computers. x = Spend LA and Math classes testing students over the course of 4 weeks. x = Use a magic fairy wand to clear the problems the PARCC test brings to the schedule.

ANSWERS: We’ll get back to you in the fall with scores after we sufficiently judge you, your school, and your dreams. With excessive efficiency and costliness we will not fail to define you and your future self through numbers and numbers alone.

/

SESSION 1

/

1 OF 17

Today you will enthusiastically read and analyze a passage from this moving and exciting text. As you read, you will gather information and answer questions about the text so you can someday look back on this day and think, “I’m glad I gathered that information correctly and received all the benefits of standardized testing.”

Read the passage from the 1911 novel Hickory Groot and the Flaming Teapot by author Joseph Brown*.

Then answer the questions.

1 The astringent tea fortuitously prevailed. As Hickory Groot abducted a circumspect swallow of the potable he espied a predicament upon the cooker. He set down the tea mug. The kettle was conflagrant as the tongues of oxidation eclipsed the caldron. Through what agency could Hickory amend this conundrum?

2 As he rushed to the burning kettle on the stove, he remembered that his massive locks of nose hair could easily catch fire. While they were often dampened by the flow of mucus, today the thick oils could easily be set ablaze. He imagined his lower nostrils being baked from the under-nose fire and quickly stuffed the hairs up into a safer place.

3 By this time the fire was burning the paint off of the teakettle, and something had to be done to prevent the rest of the house from burning down.

Hickory twisted the control knob on the stove as fast as a sandhill crane can lift its head to the sound of a morning frog gently chirping. While the source of the fire was gone, the teapot itself was still burning.

In a final attempt to bring his day back to normal, Hickory ran to the sink and turned on the faucet.

As he splashed the water onto the kettle, the chaos was dissolved and the dilemma ended. Alas, Hickory Groot would have to go buy a new kettle soon!

Part D How does an understanding of this passage exemplify your proficiency of reading skills?

Part A

or m hu

GRADE 11 ELA/LITERACY

In paragraph 1, what does the the phrase “set down” mean in context?

A. To move an inanimate object in a direction towards a stable surface from which it was originally lifted.

B. To accept that standardized tests will forever rule your future success, no matter your dreams or other merits.

C. To simultaneously breath through your nose and mouth while eating.

Part B What is the most likely reason that the description of Hickory Groot’s nose hairs was included in the text?

A. The test writers wanted to see just what they could get defenseless students to read.

B. Nose hairs are extremely interesting to the majority of high school students.

C. The author of the text was a 3rd grader at the time of publication.

Part C In Paragraph 3, the author describes the turning of the knob as, “as fast as a sandhill crane can lift its head to the sound of a morning frog gently chirping.” What is the most effective way to over-analyze this simile so that any quality it previously possessed is reduced to a boring and lengthy explanation?

A. The crane can move its neck extremely quickly, which is similar to the fast movement of the knob.

B. The head of the crane is fairly knobby in the morning, which is similar to the shape of the oven knob.

C. The crane has caught fire from the kettle and will soon descend like a dragon onto the frog.

A.

Understanding everything about short and unexciting stories is the pinnacle of scholarly learning.

B. Federal education standards are everything important. All hail our federal education overlords!

C. COMPUTER ERROR

*DISCLAIMER: Book and passage are made up and have no meaning whatsoever. However, you should still work to squeeze any meaning you can out of the wholly fictional work. fhsroyalbanner.com | HUMOR | 15

Place an ad in the Royal Banner! Give your business great publicity.

1/16 page: $30 1/8 page: $50 1/4 page $100 1/2 page: $200 Full page: $425 Web ad: $30 For further pricing and information, email Alex Ray at alex.ray@fhsroyalbanner.com.

16 | ADS | fhsroyalbanner.com