February 13, 2014

The

Fairview High School 1515 Greenbriar Blvd.

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Thursday, February 13, 2014 Vol. 54 No. 3

Boys and girls varsity basketball teams take on rival Boulder High for the second time this season on February 15th at Coors Event Center.

Photo by Emily Ellis

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news

Table of Contents

Headlines of the Year in TWEETS 4-5 Hundred Year Flood: Where are we now? 6-7

student life

A Closer Look at Turnabout 9 Student of the Issue 10

opinions

My Name is America and I Killed Claire Davis 12-14 An Olympic Discussion 15 Standardized Tests: Crooked Priorities 16-17

sports

Athletes of the Issue 18 Spring Sport Preview 19 Coach “O” Segment 20 Action Photo of the Issue 21

entertainment Oscar (trailer) Preview 22-23 29th for $29 24-25 Chicago Rap 26

humor

Life Given Meaning Due to Testing Well 27

Extra

Did Manning Fall Short this Season? 3 Photo Page 11 Entertainment: School Play Feature 8 Advertisements 32

Government Catches Senioritis 28 Valentine’s Day Crossword 29 What Your Pet Says About You 30 Hipsterception: The Rabbithole is Too Mainstream 31

Upcoming Events • • • •

LONG WEEKEND February 14- 17 Fairview vs. Boulder Varisty Basketball Games @ Coors Event Center February 15 Spring Play Performances February 27- March 1 Academy Awards March 2

Graduation Count Down:

101 Days

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Sports Special Feature

Did Manning Fall Short This Season?

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By Savarone Ammann

s Peyton Manning the greatest quarterback ever? -- This question floats in the heads of fans, analysts, and students of the game. Prior to Super Bowl forty-eight, many considered Manning, leading the NFL’s best offense in history, to be the G.O.A.T. (Greatest Of All Time) -- if he won the Super Bowl. However, he did not...so what now?

After suffering a near career ending neck injury in 2011, Manning was traded from the Indianapolis Colts to the Denver Broncos. His performance with the Colts (winning one Super Bowl), along with his humble, dedicated attitude, won him beloved fans in Denver. With #18 jerseys surfacing across colorful Colorado, Manning went to work with coach John fox in preparation for what is considered the best offensive display in NFL history in a single season. After breaking Drew Brees’ passing yard record with 5,477 yards and yet, another record holding 55 touchdowns all in the regular season, Manning had high hopes for Denver entering the postseason.

Beating the New England Patriots 26-16 in the AFC Championship was already a power statement for Manning, facing Tom Brady who is highly praised as one of the best QB’s in the league. All was set in place for Manning to fit the final piece in the puzzle and cap off his glorified season.

The NFC Championship was a hard fought game between the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers which the Seahawks won 23-17.

This game resulted in media explosion around Seahawks corner Richard Sherman’s remarks post game aimed toward 49ers receiver Michael Crabtree. The attention recieved by Manning’s offense and Sherman’s defense, both the best in the NFL, created a stunning ribalry for the final game. The hype around Super Bowl XLVIII did not fall short and gave even greater reason for fans across the nation to support their teams when Sunday arrived.

Dwelling on past losses, even a Super Bowl loss, is no way to start fresh in the future. In a recent interview after the loss, executive VP of football operations and retired Broncos QB, John Elway, spoke about the Broncos’ future regarding Manning. As it stands he will start as QB for the 2014 season unless changes occur. However, at 37 years of age, Manning’s time in the NFL is sputtering out and the Broncos will begin looking for other options when the great talent retires.

Answering the question of Manning being the greatest QB ever is difficult in the least; there are many assets and aspects to weigh when considering such an influential position on the field. It is more than Manning’s throwing arm that makes him so consistent and hard to read for defenses. His pre-game preparation and understanding of plays may not be matched by anyone in the league today, and his humble attitude toward Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons football is the cherry on top.

Is he the greatest ever? That’s for you to decide. But do not rule him out of a championship in 2014. He may just beat the records he set for himself this year.

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News

Headlines of the Year

Compiled By Raine Kennedy

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News

Hundred Year Flood: Where are we now?

By: Kimberly Brown Five months ago, Boulder experienced the “100-yearflood.” The rain has stopped and the seasons have changed, yet for many people in this county, the material damage may be too much to restore.

“Only those affected realize the struggle that continues to exist,” said John Rundell, science teacher at Fairview. “The flood took a lot of my time and energy which was inconvenient for my classes.”

Rundell is not the only teacher who left his students with a substitute several times due to flood related problems this year.

“My basement is still in need of repair even now. I lost most of my absence days because I was needed at home with my family during September this year,” said Jim Hensley, Language Arts teacher, “Instead of skiing or having enough breathing room to get sick, I have to be at work for the rest of the school year.”

The flood ruined a number of students’ homes and belongings.

“I wear mismatched shoes because the opposite ones were in my basement and had mold on them.

F o r t u n a t e l y, none of our valuables were down there, but my family is definitely still putting the pieces of things back together and rebuilding,” said Gerald Robinson, sophomore.

Other students experienced permanent damage to their homes.

“At first, it was just driving farther, but after a few weeks, we realized how massive the damage was. We can’t use our deck or basement at all because there is a risk that it could collapse. I live up in the mountains, so it’s hard. When it gets warmer, in the summer, we’ll have to do some construction,” said Micah Hoffman, junior.

Although these harsh realities continue for some students, to most, the flood seems like a distant memory.

“It barely touched our house. I forget that other kids

are thinking about [the flood] everyday. All I remember is having no school and playing in the water,” said Taylor Alexander, freshman.

For other Fairview students, the subjec is a bit less lighthearted.

“We were very worried. My house is up Sugarloaf, so it’s hard to bring a lot of help and we could have been stranded up there,” said Lauren Winchester, senior, “Everything is fine now. It was a huge deal at the time, not just for people at high risk like my family. After a

week or two, I thought everything was back to normal.

I guess it isn’t for everyone, though.”

According to the Daily Camera, the flood destroyed approximately 345 homes. Most of these did not involve Fairview students or staff, but out of our sights and minds, the road to recovery may be rockier than Fourmile Canyon five months ago.

News

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Photos taken Sep. 2013: Emily Ellis

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Special Feature

Spring Play Preview: The Third Wave is Coming

By Lanny Boyer

Photo: David Sachs

I like to pick fights.

Funny thing is – I’m not very strong or an MMA fighter or anything. I just like to pick fights. I’ve found it to be a great way of getting people’s attention. Students in particular. I’m an artist more than a teacher, for sure.

My heroes liked to pick a fight now and again too.

Bruce Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Macklemore even.

They certainly weren’t going to allow anyone to shut them up.

I can relate to this.

So why would a self respecting artist who generally refuses to play by the rules in favor of treading new territory take on the doldrums of public education in favor of the professional world? The answer, while complicated, is pretty easy to boil down into a simple sentence.

In case you missed it, I like to pick fights.

This time around, I’ve decided to take a play about a teacher who turns his classroom into a “little fiefdom” of fascists who are hell bent on changing their school, their town, their country into the second coming of the Third Reich and set it squarely in the center of the most accepting campus I’ve ever had the pleasure of working at. Fairview. You’ve gotta see this! Stensrud acts like a principal. Your teachers are referenced, and the whole play takes place underneath the watchful eye of the security overhang in the student center.

Why pick this fight?

Well, the reasoning is actually rather veiled.

Maybe I felt like destroying something beautiful a la Tyler Durden. Maybe I simply want to give Fairview students and Alumni a reason to see their school through a different lens. Maybe I wanted to take this overwhelmingly powerful and true story and give it a modern spin in a highly relevant setting. You are aware Fairview is hit up for a reality TV show contract on a yearly basis, right?

Maybe I just want to set my own reality TV show on my stage in my own way.

What’s the bottom line here?

You need to come see this show. We talk about you.

We talk about your teachers. We talk about your parents, and we’ve even cast your principal in a role where he plays, well... your principal. And while we didn’t write this show, we did work with the original playwright, the original teacher, and members of the original class back in 1968 a few blocks down from the Haight-Ashbury so we could breathe new life into it in the same building where you currently walk the halls. Daily.

So why should you take notice?

The shows here aren’t just for our cast’s mommies and daddies anymore. Those who came to Night of the Living Dead last year know that already. Those of you who come to The Third Wave this year are certain to find it out. Avi Kolbrener is leading our band. Kolby Rowland is leading our film crew and assisting me in direction. If that’s not a reason to show up, I don’t know what you’re waiting for. Do we need to drive a truck through a wall..?

Oh wait. Did that already. February 27th, 28th, March 1st @ 7:00pm. See you at the Fairview Auditorium.

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Student Life

Let’s Turn Around and Look At Turnabout

by Mackenzie Riordan and Alison Yardley

Themes of gender roles in today’s society seem to become particularly sensitive around the time of Fairview’s annual “Sadie Hawkins” dance. Traditionally, the responsibility of finding a date has always been thrust upon men, but in 2014, is it necessary to designate a “girls ask guys” dance? Why won’t girls take this initiative on a more regular basis?

In 1938, a cartoonist coined the phrase “Sadie Hawkins,” and appraised the idea that on a given day of the year, single women could pursue their desired bachelors without judgement from others. While this idea was reasonable for the time, in the 21st century, devoting a day or dance for women to pursue men seems outdated.

There is some discrepancy on whether or not girls feel comfortable asking a guy to a dance.

“I don’t think most girls would ask guys to a dance unless it was the Sadie Hawkins dance,” said senior Hunter Frim.

While there are certainly some girls who are hesitant to ask, plenty are willing.

“I think girls are able to ask guys whenever they want to. It just depends on your confidence,” said freshman Sydney MacAffee.

Women never used to ask men to dances; it wasn’t a normal thing to do back in the day. The thought of asking a man out didn’t even conjure up in women’s minds because it was considered socially unacceptable.

“I feel like it is more common now for girls to ask guys to dances without it having to be a Sadie Hawkins dance. The culture has changed dramatically over time because girls would never even think to ask a guy to a dance unless it was a Sadie Hawkins dance,” said teacher Mr. Scott Peoples.

Most men nowadays don’t find it weird for a girl to ask a guy.

They believe that it takes the pressure off of them and that it is socially acceptable.

“It would be nice if the girls did ask the guys on regular dances, not just the Sadie Hawkins dance, because then it takes the pressure off of the guys,” said senior Ian Passarelli.

The problem that follows with depending on girls to ask guys is how girls feel about stepping out of their comfort zone. On one hand, you have girls who can’t wait to take the upper hand and ask their crush out on a date. On the other hand, you have girls who never muster up the courage.

Madeline McCarty asks Drew Keller

So girls, don’t be afraid to ask that cute boy in your math class to upcoming dances. And boys, you know how nerve racking it is to put yourself out there, especially the fear of rejection, so be open towards a girl putting herself out there.

Gaelyn Crowder asks Josiah Stangoni to Turnabout after the Fashion Show.

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Student Life

Student of The Issue: Kai Kloepfer

by Natalie Bowes and Rebecca Vickers

The student of the issue is someone extraordinary. Whether it be an interesting talent, a concious effort to improve their community, or someoneone who exemplifies admirable values, the student of the issue is a way to call attention to the unique things you may not know about the person sitting next to you in class.

Also, make sure to check out Kai’s interview with Intel by scanning this code!

Photo donated by Kai Kloepfer

Sometimes it could prove challenging to look back and think of the last time you spent an cumulative 1500 hours on an activity. For some it may be playing a sport or instrument, or possibly even the total of all those hours spent Netflix binging.

For junior Kai Kloepfer, he spent his 1500 hours creating Biometric Electromechanical Firearm Safety, a device that activates a firearm through recognition of the individual’s fingerprint.

Klopfer started creating his device mid-way through his sophomore year and has put in thousands of hours of work in his shop, working on his concept and developing a prototype.

“I’ve competed in three science fairs using my prototype: the BVSD science fair, state science fair and the international science fair. I received first place in the engineering category for the international science fair, which is the top three students out of 7.4 million science competitors,” Said Kloepfer.

Interestingly enough, although Kloepfer created a prototype for a firearm, he has only shot a gun once in his life.

“I fired one after the project because I had done so much research and reading about firearms and figured it would be an interesting experience,” said Kloepfer.

However, perhaps one of the most interesting concepts to Kloepfer’s invention is that it has the potential to keep both pro- and anti-gun-control sides satisfied.

“Those who support gun-control get to keep a weapon without any real government regulation, while those who support anti-gun policies get an increased sense of security by knowing intruders cannot use their weapon and children would be unable to shoot up a school,” said Kloepfer.

It‘s clear that Kloepfer’s idea has incredible potential to change the dispute over gun-control as we know it, the only question is what he will do with it.

“I’m writing a patent for it now and I may or may not sell the patent, or if not, just use it to get into the college of my choice,” said Kloepfer.

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The Royal Banner Newspaper is a 24 to 32 page newspaper.

The Banner is written primarily for the over 2000 students attending Fairview High School and is distributed free of charge to all members of the school community. Accurate reporting of fact is the goal of the staff. Commentaries, opinion columns and letters to the editor are the expressed opinion of the author and not of The

Royal Banner and its Editorial Board or its adviser. *Disclaimer: Under Colorado law, no expression made by students in the exercise of free speech or freedom of the press shall be deemed to be an expression of school policy. No school district, employee, legal guardian or official of such a district shall be held liable in any criminal action for any expression made or published by a student. The Royal Banner sells advertisements for publicity and to pay for printing costs. We reserve the right to refuse to run any advertisement deemed inappropriate to the Fairview community.

Ceal Willett poses with Cayman Tomsic in the Turnabout Fashion Show

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Opinion

My Name is America and

I Killed Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

On December 13th, Claire Davis entered Arapahoe High School for the last time. In the very place that was supposed to secure her future, a boy named Karl shot her in the head in front of their peers. He then turned to face the oncoming sheriff, and as the man approached, he pressed the barrel to his temple and pulled the trigger1.

“As bad as that was,” wrote2 the National Rifle Association , “things could have been much worse.”

Claire died on December 21st at 4:29 PM3.

I am here to argue that absolutely nothing could have been worse.

Not simply because Claire left behind an entire pr Karlamangla, S. (2013, December 14). Arapahoe High community rallies behind gunshot victim Claire Davis. LA Times. Retrieved January 4, 2014, from ecious potential. It is devastating because by being dead, Claire Davis can now be forgotten. America, in its convenient avoidance, has a habit of piling dirt onto what it does not wish to see.

Had Claire recovered, even lacking brain capacity, she’d be a haunting reminder of our failure to protect a girl from the dangers of pursuing an education. Americans would be forced to stare into innocent eyes that had watched a gun take aim at a space above them, and

Claire Davis

By Hannah Sheridan

we are clearly far too cowardly to take that responsibility.

In our fear, we silenced the twenty children of Newtown, who died before they lived. We failed to change.

And in accepting that silence, we killed Claire Davis.

We will continue to send our children to school every day, we will recede into the bubble that is our individual reality, and we will forget Claire Davis. How could we let the death of one girl hinder our personal pursuits of happiness?

The media reactions to Columbine and Newtown were much more immense than the Arapahoe shooting received, not simply because the Arapahoe casualty count was lower, but because what is more common is sickeningly less shocking. Skeptical? When Claire died, 364 days had passed since the Sandy Hook massacre, as well as 30 school shootings4. Name three that you heard about.

When I first heard via Twitter that a shooter had entered Arapahoe high school, a 30 minute drive from where I sat in my desk, I was nervous and curious about what was going on inside the building. However, an uncharacteristic anger soon drowned my anxiety. Not at Karl. Not at guns or a lack thereof.

For the first time, I was absolutely livid with my country.

1.Karlamangla, S. (2013, December 14). Arapahoe High community rallies behind gunshot victim Claire Davis. LA Times. Retrieved January 4, 2014, from http://articles.latimes.com/2013/dec/14/nation/la-na-nn-claire-davis-arapahoeshooting-20131214 2. NRA-ILA (2013, December 20). Stopped in 80 Seconds: Armed Response, Not Gun Control, Halted School Rampage. NRA ILA. Retrieved January 4, 2014, from http://www.nraila.org/get-involved-locally/grassroots/gras 3. Colorado high school shooting victim Claire Davis dies. (2013, December 21).

Claire Davis was murdered by every single political businessman who sat comfortably on the senate floor and defended gun rights for financial security.

Remington Outdoor Company, maker of the Bushmaster XM15-E2S rifle used in the Newtown massacre, announced that its profits have risen by 52% in the year after the tragedy5.

Claire Davis was murdered by the media, who bickered for political power, cleverly disguised as a gun control reform or false grief. And we continue to mock her corpse. “Claire Davis Dead after Socialist Karl Pierson Shot her at Arapahoe High School,” an article released just hours after her death, claimed Karl “was really no different than any elected Democrat today.” How can we call ourselves humans when we use the bodies of innocent children as ammunition in our snarling, narrow-minded grabs for power? It is revolting in a way that I cannot express by arranging letters.

Claire Davis was killed by Americans who cowered further into their gun control opinions instead of trying to understand the situation for the sake of the children who have choked on their own blood at the hands of other children. I am entirely unsympathetic if that image upsets you. It is our reality.

NBC News. Retrieved January 4, 2013, from http://www.nbcnews.com/news/usnews/colorado-high-school-shooting-victim-claire-davis-dies-v22001114 4. Sohmer, S. (2014, January 15). The Sad List: There Have Been 30 School Shooting Since Newtown. HyperVocal. Retrieved January 16, 2014, from http://hypervocal.com/news/2014/30-school-shootings-newtown/ 5. Short, K. (2013, December 13). Sandy Hook Gun-Maker Profits Up 52 Percent In Year Since Massacre. The Huffington Post. Retrieved January 3, 2014, from http:// www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/13/sandy-hook-gun-profits_n_4442034.html

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I am 16. I go to high school in Colorado.

In childhood, I struggled to understand why people talked about Columbine in hushed voices. I knew it was our state flower, and I thought it was beautiful. But in the mouths of others, its name was void of pride.

In 2012, I exited the “Dark Knight Rises” premiere to a group of tense policemen, those who weren’t in the Aurora theater 20 minutes away where the light of a silver screen flickered over a dozen dead bodies.

Each face in the school hallways is that of a developing human sitting somewhere on a broad spectrum of mental health. We as a student body are the products of our experiences, be they devastating or nurturing, and we are all striving to accept ourselves. But some see my peers differently. Arapahoe Sheriff Grayson Robinson said6 of Karl Pierson, “His intent was evil.” The NRA was quick to point out7 “Gun-control laws didn’t stop a possible massacre at Arapahoe High School. A good guy with a gun stopped the rampage.”

While I nod to both Robinson and the NRA for their eloquent accounts of Good Guy with a Gun’s heroic stance against the devil’s vessel himself, I somehow cannot blame an all-powerful force of darkness for the Arapahoe shooting. I do feel failure press on my shoulders. It would be easier to blame metaphysical evil than swallow responsibility for these deaths. But the part of me that pointed fingers and converted guilt into excuses died along with Claire.

Adam Lanza has baby pictures. James Holmes smiled. Karl Pierson, according to his peers, was loudly intelligent. I will not apologize for humanizing them. Upon careful inspection, one can see that they were humans.

The problem, stripped down to its very core, is the series of developmental occurrences that cause a child to kill himself after the blood of his peers has painted the very books that they study in. The psychological damage required to commit mass, merciless, unmotivated murder is not a random, uncontrollable occurrance. In every situation I have researched, investigators found in retrospect that the shooter had expressed their festering instability, but were ignored.

In 5th grade, Adam Lanza wrote a book in which children were slaughtered, and a boy shot his mother in the head8 The Oscar for most ironic death was subsequently awarded to Nancy Lanza.

Karl Pierson was isolated in his compulsive need to be correct, and his expressed interest in bomb-making. He fully vocalized death threats toward his debate teacher days before his rampage9. A nowfired Arapahoe security member, Cameron Rust, wrote in a facebook post that the administrators were well aware of Pierson’s problems, but didn’t act to solve them. “Karl Pierson was a known threat for a long time, he should have gotten the necessary help and appropriate resources should have been involved,” Rust said10.

6. Cabrera, A., & Watkins, T. (2013, December 15). Colorado’s school shooting over in 80 seconds. CNN. Retrieved February 7, 2014, from http://www.cnn. com/2013/12/14/us/colorado-school-shooting/ 7.see 2 8. Lahainanews. (2013, November 26). Conn. gunman’s motive still a mystery.

Lahainanews. Retrieved January 20, 2014, from http://www.lahainanews.com/ page/content.detail/id/414821/Conn--gunman-s-motive-still-a-mystery.html?isap=1&nav=5022

Opinion

Maybe we killed Karl Pierson too.

James Holmes’s psychiatrist had warned campus officials about his homicidal inclinations11.

However, she stopped seeing him, campus operations continued normally, and a few weeks later, 70 people were hurt and 12 dead in the Aurora massacre.

9.Gurman, S. (2014, January 17). Arapahoe High security guard: Shooter’s warning signs ignored. The Denver Post. Retrieved January 20, 2014, from http:// www.denverpost.com/news/ci_24930749/arapahoe-high-security-guard-shooters-warning-signs-ignored 10. see 9 11. News. (n.d.). James Holmes’ psychiatrist warned of threat before attack. Fox News. Retrieved January 20, 2014, from http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/04/04/ james-holmes-psychiatrist-warned-threat-before-attack/

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Royal Banner Once, an anonymous caller on Oregon-based anarchy radio commented on Travis, the long-domesticated Chimpanzee who attacked his owner’s friend and was then shot. “Travis wasn’t an untamed monster at all. He wasn’t just feigning domestication.”

“Look what civilisation did to him,” he went on. “It had the same exact effect as it has on humans. He was profoundly sick in every sense of the term... His attack wasn’t simply because he was a senselessly violent, impulsive chimp… some little thing that he experienced was the last straw, and he was overwhelmed, by the life that he had, and he wanted to get out of it by changing his environment... His attack can be seen entirely parallel to the attacks, the random acts of violence that you bring up on your show every week, committed by humans, which the mainstream also has no explanation for... I just don’t think it would be such a stretch to say that he very well could have been a teenage mall shooter or something like that.”12The effect of society rather than a persistent force of evil. The feeling of being trapped. The speaker does not sound like a worshiper of satan, but rather a carefully worded person who draws parallels between

“The problem is not the existence of firearms, rather the culture of those who use them” the life of Travis and the life of developing humans.

The voice belonged to Adam Lanza.

I do not believe that these people should wander free of justice for their actions. I am not expressing that they should be romanticized and pitied, but rather we should listen and act to prevent these situations in the first place.

We have a debt to pay for killing Claire Davis, and it can only come in the form

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of improvement.

At Claire’s Memorial service, her father, in between tears and unsteady breaths, forgave Karl. “My wife and I forgive Karl Pierson because he didn’t know what he was doing. We would ask all of of you here, and all of you

“If Adam Lanza’s mother hadn’t assumed that he would ‘grow up to be a confident man,’ and fought to understand his mental state, maybe 20 angels would be happily entering second grade this year.” watching, to search your hearts and also forgive Karl Pierson.”13 Then, in one of the strongest expressions of human understanding I have ever witnessed, he told us how to change. “By forever showing compassion and forgiveness, and using whatever is within your power to to reach out to those around you that might need your love to help guide them through the darkness.” Michael Davis demolished the last excuse that America could cower behind. Despite our political or religious discord, we can all act to improve. Even if we are stubborn in believing in a darkness, we must believe equally in our ability to enlighten.

So, we have options.

We can, in fact, debate and converse maturely and unselfishly about the topic of gun control. We can analyze its successes, exemplified in Australia, as well as its failures, and act after careful consideration. I will not pretend that I have done the research required to push confidently for either side, although I am attracted to the idea of fewer vi-

12. Stanglin, D., & Winter, M. (2014, January 16). Tape surfaces of Adam Lanza’s call to radio show. USA Today. Retrieved January 20, 2014, from http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/01/16/adam-lanza-newtown-sandy-hook-radio-program/4505649/

Opinion olent weapons. However, the problem is not the existence of firearms, rather the culture of those who use them, and I am open to proposals of all natures, as long as they are well-researched and genuine.

Asking this of congress seems akin to placing a strip of scotch tape on the shards of a shattered window and asking for protection from a storm. I both accept and express that I am upset by the lack of political cooperation, but I feel this way because I love my people and I do believe that we are capable of improving. Not that it is easy. Only that it is possible.

We can push for mental health reform. Never before have we been able to understand the human brain to the extent that we do. Put in motion acts to educate parents, teachers, and children about maintaining mental health.

Foster caring and compassion toward one another in primary schools, and let it grow into a social change. If Adam Lanza’s mother hadn’t assumed that he would “grow up to be a confident man”, and fought to understand his mental state, maybe 20 angels would be happily entering second grade this year. If we had worked to improve, maybe Claire Davis would be waking up for school tomorrow.

So here I stand, 16 and ridden with the complexity of the world that I live in; a puppet through which my dead peers speak.

And I have only this to say.

If we do nothing, do not make the mistake of thinking that we as a country are being silent.

In fact we are screaming,

“MY NAME IS AMERICA AND I KILLED CLAIRE DAVIS” “AND I WILL KILL AGAIN.”

13. Andrieski, E. (2014, January 2). Family of slain Colorado student Claire Davis forgives killer. NBC News. Retrieved January 14, 2014, from http://usnews.nbc-

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Opinion

When Politics Meet the Podium: An Olympic Discussion

By Rachel Grushan

Graphic by Rachel Grushan As nice a thought it is that the Olympics are meant for countries to come together in peace to celebrate excellence in athletics, it still important that the Olympics are politically charged. There is no stage more influential than the Olympic one, on which the world is forced to confront its issues.

A homophobic bill alienating the gay community and denying minors their right to learn about different sexualities was passed in Russia last June, sparking riots and arrests as Sochi, Russia, will be hosting the Winter Olympics this year.

“It’s ridiculous.” Sawyer Hammond said of the bill, representing Fairview’s Gay-Straight Alliance.

Chapter 5 of the Olympic Charter states that, “No kind of demonstration or political, religious or racial propaganda is permitted in the Olympic areas.” However, this regulation put in place to purge the Olympics of any political undertones will not dissuade athletes from making statements of their own on the biggest stage in the world.

Practically every year, there are at least several scandals, whether it be

“There is no ban on non-traditional forms of sexual interaction between people... We have a ban on propaganda of homosexuality.” ~Vladimir Putin

a boycotting country or politically-active athlete, such as the Black Power Salute in Mexico City, 1968.

Tommie Smith and John Carlos lifted their gloved fists in defiance of segregation and racism, a Czechoslovakian gymnast defiantly bowed her head during Soviet national anthem in opposition to the invasion of her homeland. All three athletes were banned from competing in the Olympics ever again, and what for? Whatever it was, it was far from hate speech.

There’s propaganda, and then there’s simply standing up for human rights.

When asked about organizations and athletes boycotting Sochi 2014, Hammond said, “I think its awesome.” However, he also made the point that athletes should not feel pressured to boycott instead of participating and actively opposing the regime while there. “I think athletes should make their statements by making the best athletic performances they can, rather than sacrificing their own performance,” said Hammond.

Putin did say that the passing of the bill should not disrupt the Olympics, although he expects vis-

“No kind of demonstration or political, religious or racial propaganda is permitted in the Olympic areas.” ~Chapter 5 of the Olympic Charter

iting nations to adhere to the idea that Russia’s children must not be exposed to what supporters of the bill call “gay propaganda.”

“Specific nations which are being represented by the athletes will step forward and protect their own athletes if there is ever some dangerous situation,” said Hammond.

“They are not going to sacrifice their own laws and their own beliefs over something that has been put in place by Russia.”

Ultimately, it comes down to whether an athlete believes that their message is bigger than themselves. “Regardless of what the Olympic Committee rules are, you’ll see people whose personal views and opinions are way stronger than their desire to follow the rules,” said Hammond. “They are not going to sacrifice their own beliefs over something that has been put in place by Russia.”

When politics and sports combine, the outcome is volatile. But let’s keep it that way. After all, it is through controversy and the opposition of what is not right that progress is made, change is actualized, and human rights (hopefully) prevail.

“They (athletes) are not going to sacrifice their own laws and their own beliefs over something that has been put in place by Russia.” ~Sawyer Hammond

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For the 2014-2015 school year, Colorado will be one of 19 states (including Washington DC) that will make the transition from their current standardized test (for Colorado, the TCAP) to the PARCC exam-- the Partnership for Assessment of Readiness for College and Careers. The PARCC is an exam given funding from the government for winning the Race to the Top Assessment Program--a competition whose goal is to “develop assessments that are valid, support and inform instruction, provide accurate information about what students know and can do, and measure student achievement against standards designed to ensure that all students gain the knowledge and skills needed to succeed in college and the workplace.”

However, the fact is that the reason Colorado and 18 other states are switching from their current testing systems to the PARCC isn’t because it will drastically improve our education system, nor will it allow us to better understand our students’ and teachers’ progress.

Nineteen states are switching to another testing system because it will provide the testers with more money.

Don Stensrud, principal at Fairview High School, said, “I think that for the company that oversees PARCC, it’s a cash cow, so I think there might be some company that’s lobbying pretty hard with legislators.”

In fact, the company that PARCC awarded a contract to oversee the technological side of their testing is Pearson, the world’s largest education company. According to the Huffington Post, in 2012 Pearson recorded $1.4 billion in profits-- a very large amount of money for a company that said on their website that their mission is to “help people make more of their lives through learning.”

According to the Huffington Post, in 2012, the combined annual state spending on standardized tests was $1.7 billion--the majority going to companies such as Pearson and McGraw-Hill who have contracted with states to issue tests.

With this in mind, we have to ask ourselves what the real purpose for standardized testing is. Stensrud said, “I don’t see a lot of other industrialized nations with outstanding educational programs like this.”

Jonathan Wright, a language arts teacher at Boulder High School and a BVSD coordinator for secondary literacy, said, “I think that a school system without standardized tests would tend to maintain the status quo.”

He elaborated by saying that he believes that the high performing schools would continue to achieve, while the low performing schools would quietly continue to underachieve. In other words, Wright believes that standardized testing holds schools to a higher standard, and “standardized testing is ultimately on the side of serving a greater good.”

However, there are many examples of academically successful countries that do not focus on standardized testing, and still excel.

As an example, we can look at Finland, which is one of the highest performing countries in the world in education. According to the Washington Post, Finland does not have standardized tests as we know them. They have a very large test that has a direct effect on the student’s college future (akin to a large SAT), but it does not have any annual, country or district wide standardized tests that don’t affect the students’ grades. South Korea is very similar.

Continued on page 17...

Opinion

Staff Editorial

Picture by Alex Ray

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Opinions

Thus, we can now ask ourselves, what would an America look like with no testing companies making billions annually off state wide tests, and no illusions that standardized testing accurately assesses students’ grow and academic aptitude.

First, with no annual CCAP or PARCC-esque testing system, there would be two to three more weeks of teaching time available to teachers every year. Especially as the PARCC will be primarily administered on computers, and there are not enough computers in Fairview to test large numbers of students concurrently, the amount of time spent on a shortened testing schedule will be considerable. Regarding the PARCC and its effect on teaching, Stensrud said “It’ll get in the way of, I’m gonna use this term, having a real education.”

Furthermore, these standardized tests that are constantly being rethought, rewritten, and readministered (much to the delight of Pearson and Co.) are not at all helpful in the process of education. Former senator Paul Wellstone said testing “represents a hollow promise. Far from improving education, high- stakes testing marks a major retreat from fairness, from accuracy, from quality, and from equity.”

On his blog, education expert Alfie Kohn wrote that standardized tests encourage “the sort of instruction that treats kids as though they were inert objects, that prepares a concoction called ‘basic skills’ or ‘core knowledge’ and then tries to pour it down their throats.” Standardized tests and their focus on traditional testing subjects, along with the newer Common Core State Standards, force teachers to teach the “specific facts and skills that all students in a given grade level are expected to master,” said Kohn.

When teachers need to focus their teaching solely on facts and information as opposed to larger concepts and thought processes, and they have a three-week period with little to no instruction at all, it is not very surprising to learn that the US has fallen behind on the educational international stage.

Instead of these large, statewide testing systems that are dysfunctional on many levels, schools in the US should start to focus on implementing much smaller tests, developed locally. These assessments would solely be for the purpose of evaluating how well the material in similar classes is being taught. Stensrud elaborated on this, saying “Testing should have an impact on what you’re doing in the classroom. The reason you take a test in physics or math or science is to see how well you learn the material, not to rate your teacher or rate your building.”

In this format, students’ performance on short tests would have a direct and immediate effect on their education, as teachers would be able to see how well they are teaching important concepts in each subject, and make changes accordingly. Also, as these assessments would be run by the individual schools or districts, costs would be minimal and results would be immediate.

The fact that outdated standardized tests are still being used is a testament to the money in the testing industry and the legislators that are absolutely dissociated from reality. The PARCC will not improve education any more than the CSAP did; it will simply introduce more money into the testing industry and placate those delusional enough to believe more testing will improve the achievements of American students.

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Sports

Athletes With Issues (Athletes of the Issue)

By Ethan Kennedy

Gabe Tierney, one of the many stars of the FHS Basketball team, comes from humble beginnings.

Tierney started playing basketball in the third grade with fellow teammate Zach Swenson. However, basketball was not his only sport at a young age, but in the end, “Basketball became a second language to me,” said Tierney. A role model for Tierney is Kevin Durant because of how he carries himself. After a loss, Tierney always remembers that there is a game in a few days where they can compete again. As this is Tierney’s final season at Fairview, his favorite moment was last year when Dakota Pilkington hit a buzzer beater in the sweet sixteen. For newcomers to the sport, Tierney says to be the “hardest working guy in the gym because the coaches will notice.”

Tierney would love to see as much support as possible at the basketball games because the crowd is a big help in their games.

Quinn Adams is a super dedicated swimmer for the Fairview girls’ Swim and Dive team. Adams

began swimming competitively at the age of 5, but started swimming lessons before that. She says that her mom was the biggest factor for her joining swimming but after that, Adams decided to stick with it. Her inspiration came from Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte, because of all the hard work they put in. “Everyone thinks they’re just really good naturally, but they work so hard and most people don’t know that.” This is Adams’ third year swimming for Fairview High School.

Her favorite moment was from freshman year when she went to the State Finals because of how she barely scraped into the meet. She would tell a newcomer to swimming to “definitely tryout because it is a lot of fun; it doesn’t have to be as much you could possibly put into it, it can just be a fun time and to stay in shape, but if you want to put in a lot of work into it it’s a lot of fun and the girls are really nice.” Adams would love to see more Fairview students support the swim team by just showing up and cheering loud.

Melvin Gutierrez is one of the most dominant wrestlers on the Fairview High Wrestling team.

Gutierrez has been wrestling since the 7th grade. He started wrestling because his good friends inspired him to do start. A senior this season, his favorite memory was beating a state runner-up.

To newcomers of wrestling, he would say, “it’s awesome because there’s no other sport like it because you rely completely on yourself. You can’t blame your teammates for not doing something right, it’s just you and another person on the mat and somebody is going to come off with a win.”

To the students of Fairview, Gutierrez, a natural inspiration, would say “You have the power to do whatever you want in the world, it’s just the choices you make.” The opportunities that Gutierrez has received from wrestling has made him into a different person. It gives him a lot of spirit and character and shows him that nothing is impossible with a lot of hard work and heart.

Sarah Kaufman and the girls’ basketball team are having a memorable season, but Kaufman’s basketball career started in first grade. She stuck with the sport because of influence from her parents and the great friends she made. She looks up to Dwyane Wade, Derek Jeter, and Ryan Kelly because of their hard-working attitudes. Kaufman, now a senior, fondly remembers when the team beat Monarch at their gym for the first time in several years. For a newcomer to girls’ basketball, Kaufman would encourage them to play because it is fun and a great chance to make lifelong friends. Kaufman would really like to encourage our students to show up and be loud for the team, now realizing “all of the hard work from the years has resulted in great skills, various memorable games, memories and friendships that I will treasure forever.”

Photos by Emily Ellis

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Sports

Spring Sport Previews Track: Heather Harrower 1. Last season, one of my favorite highlights was when the girls 4x400 relay team and a few other athletes flew to California for the Arcadia Invitational.

2. Last year’s state meet was also a great highlight. One of my favorite things about track is how supportive everyone is. There was also a lot of great performances at State. A lot of our relays (boys and girls) placed in the Top 10 as well as a couple individuals.

3. Goals for this season (especially for the seniors) is most importantly to have fun and not forget why we love running so much. Also, to work hard and end up being competitive at state.

4. Hannah Freeman is a freshman who I think will have a great season. Others to look for are Zetta Mason in the mile (this is her year, I think) and Zach Morrissey had a great year in XC so I think he will do great in track too.

5. Our rival is definitely monarch. We are always looking to win races against them (which we did in the 4x400 last year at state) 6. I don’t believe there is an MVP. We all work of each other’s energies and push each other.

Boys Baseball: Cannon Casey 1. Playing in front of 6000 fans in the championship in Rapid City.

2. We lost in the first round last year.

3. We definitely have the talent to go far and have a good season so we’ll have to see.

4. Look for Walker Harris to do big things this year.

5. Monarch and Boulder.

6. Jeff Clarke

Photos by Emily Ellis

By Ryan Shuman

Questions: 1. What were last season’s highlight?

2. Last seasons playoffs/state meet?

3. Goals for this season?

4. Who is a younger person that will step up this year?

5. Rivals?

6. MVP?

Girls Soccer: Gaelyn Crowder 1. Playing in the quarterfinals 2. Lost in double overtime against Fossil Ridge in the quarter finals.

3. Win state and beat Boulder.

4. All the sophomores are really going to step up, but I think Allison Zech will be a huge factor on the field this year 5. Boulder, Fossil, Legacy.

6. I don’t think we have just one player that stands above the rest because our team is so deep and all the players contribute great things.

Boys Lacrosse: Avi Becker 1. Last season’s highlights were winning our first two games back to back in OT. 2. We were snubbed out of the tournament last year, but that only fuels our drive for this season.

3. Our goals this season are to go hard in the paint and get buckets.

4. Some young bloods looking to step up include Roland Mollenburg and Quinnie Carrigan.

5. Our main rival is of course the ‘Narchs.

6. MVP goes to Sean Lavine who is going to Air Force to play lacrosse and to be a stunt plane pilot.

Boys Swimming: Miles Mackenzie 1. Last season, we had a record number of state qualifiers. I don’t remember the number, but it was a lot.

2. The state meet was great last year, we went to Grand Junction where we were all stayed at a hotel together. It was a great experience. Our coach (Amy Webb) won coach of the year, our free relays got 4th in both events and went All-American times. Our medley placed top 3. Returning swimmer Alex Walton place top 8 in the 500. And I had a good meet to keep it mild.

4. Win BOCO, Beat Boulder, Break records, Top 5 at state.

5. Michael Zarian, though he hasn’t swam in a high school meet yet, he already broke our 200 IM (individual medley) record.

6. Boulder, Loveland. Christian 7. Who ever can step up into the 4th stop of the relays this year. I think we could have a lot of MVPs on our team. Alex Walton is ready for another big year.

Girls Tennis: Hannah Embree 1. Last season’s highlight would be beating Denver East. They have a really strong team and they are our rivals just as much as Cherry Creek.

2. Last season’s state Jessie and I only made it semi finals 3. Goals for this season is to win state, hopefully playing against Cherry Creek.

4. Natalie Munson. She is an amazing tennis player and it will be interesting to see what she will play this season.

5. Our biggest rival is Cherry Creek High School.

6. MVP is Katie Li, she is such a hard worker and is always doing extra work to get better.

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The “Coach O” Segment

On January 18th, a chilly night at CenturyLink Field with roughly 2 minutes to play and the San Francisco 49ers driving, Richard Sherman made arguably the best play of the NFL post-season. Deflecting a pass intended for Michael Crabtree, Sherman tipped the ball to teammate Malcolm Smith to ensure the Seattle Seahawks would be representing the NFC and heading to Super Bowl XLVIII. This should have been the story of the night.

Sherman’s play was the story until a few minutes later when he was interviewed by Erin Andrews of Fox Sports. After the play, Sherman had gone over to Crabtree and said a few things in his ear. Crabtree then pushed Sherman in the face and after the game Sherman said with a vicious tone, “I’m the best corner in the game! When you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree, that’s what you’re going to get. Don’t you ever talk about me!” He then went on to say, “Don’t you open your mouth about the best. Or I’m going to shut it for you real quick!”

This post-game interview had Sherman trending for two days on Twitter. People used derogatory names to describe him and “thug” was the most offensive to Sherman. People across the country believed that Sherman was all about himself and undermined The Seahawks’ victory with his compelling post-game interview.

Sherman’s post-game antics have made him one of the most talked about athletes in the world over the course of this past two week, yet I’m not sure if anyone really knows who Richard Sherman is. There are things to love and things to hate, but one thing he is most definitely not is a thug.

The article “Richard Sherman: From Compton to Stanford to 49ers’ enemy,” Jon Wilner takes a look at many of Sherman’s accomplishments. Sherman reigns from the inner city of Compton where he excelled as a student at Dominguez High School. He took Advanced Placement classes, did all the extra credit he could, and attended leadership seminars. His father and mother are both extremely hardworking individuals with his mother working with disabled inner city kids and his father waking up at 4:00 AM daily to serve his duties as a garbage truck driver. Sherman learned the value of hard work from his parents and his brother, Branton, who would inspire Sherman to be his best by talking down to him.

Sherman didn’t seem to be an inner-city type of kid and was the first to earn a scholarship to The University of Stanford from his high school. At Stanford, Sherman excelled on both sides of the ball. He was recruited as a Wide Receiver but eventually switched to the defensive side as he wanted to “control his own destiny.” He was a vital part of the Stanford football turn around and that impressed numerous NFL scouts.

Entering the NFL draft, Sherman was good but scouts weren’t exactly sold on him. He fell to the 154th pick in the 2011 NFL draft to The Seattle Seahawks.

Sports Guest writter Owen Harris

Since entering the league, Sherman has been twice voted to the Associated Press NFL All-Pro Team and leads the league with 20 interceptions. Did I mention he’s also in pursuit of his Master’s Degree from Stanford? Also did I mention that after the game Sherman wrote a whole column for Sports Illustrated explaining his actions and apologizing for taking the spotlight away from his team? The piece was extremely well-written, credited to his Stanford education.

All these are great things, but many controversies have arised due to his fiery personality.

During a March 2013 interview with ESPN’s First Take, Sherman attacked columnist Skip Bayless. Sherman went on to the show and told Bayless he was better at life than him and that Bayless isn’t one of the 22 best at his profession or anything.

Sherman stated, “So, I’m at the top of my field.

I’m All-Pro. I’m one of the best 22 players in the NFL. You’re going to brush it off, but I don’t think you’re the best 22 anything. In sports, in media, in anything.” He also went on to say “I’m better than you. I have nothing to say about him.

That is pretty much done. My numbers speak for themselves.”

Bayless in the past had stated that he believed Darrelle Revis was better than Sherman, but Sherman straight-out attacked the man on Live Television. I do respect Sherman’s confidence but going on to a man’s show and treating him that way is just unacceptable.

Sherman is extremely confident, maybe even cocky with his Twitter page biography being the following: “2x NFL 1st Team All-Pro 2013 Pro Bowler Stanford Alum Seattle Seahawk CB ...I earn the respect I am given. Confidence is a Prerequisite for Success” Indeed, you are successful and indeed, you are confident, Richard. I have a love/hate relationship with Sherman. I love his confidence, his swagger, how he holds himself and the passion he plays with. I hate his disrespectful attitude towards professionals and his cynical acts. I respect his intelligence as he is one of the smartest men in the NFL. I mean the whole NFL not just players, but owners and general managers included.

You can choose to love him, you can choose to hate him, you can even choose to have a bipolar relationship with him but at the end of the day, Richard Sherman deserves respect for what he has conquered in only a quarter century of life. His drive and work ethic holds no ceiling for what this man can accomplish. Richard Sherman has my respect and deserves yours.

“To those who would call me a thug or worse because I show passion on a football field—don’t judge a person’s character by what they do between the lines. Judge a man by what he does off the field, what he does for his community, what he does for his family.” -Richard Sherman

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Sports

Action “Feauto” of the Issue

Junior Johnny Feauto fades away against Boulder Photo by Emily Ellis

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OSCAR

Entertainment

(trailers)

PREVIEW

By Varun Narayanswamy & Mike Sparkman

You can’t judge a movie by its trailer… or can you? We just did, and this year the Royal Banner will be focusing on one section of the Oscars: Best Picture. There are nine nominees: “American Hustle,” “Captain Phillips,” “Gravity,” “Nebraska,” “Dallas Buyers Club,” “12 Years a Slave,” “The Wolf of Wall Street,” “Her,” and “Philomena.” We will judge these movies based on their trailers, and award them their deserving Oscars accordingly, and there will also be many losers.

Gravity

Photo: Oscars.org

If you haven’t heard of “Gravity” by now, chances are you are currently residing on the underside of a large rock in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle.

That may be fun and all, but many of us have at least heard in passing about the blockbuster hit movie “Gravity,” and many more have seen it. At first, the trailer looks harmless enough, two people floating in space, enjoying the view... INITIATE CHAOS! All of a sudden things start exploding, you know typical space problems, and the two people, played by Sandra Bullock and George Clooney, start grabbing for loose ropes, trying to avoid floating out into the big empty, and you are told “DON’T. LET. GO.” Thanks for the info, trailer! I guess next time I’m floating through space I’ll try to remember that advice. This appears, based on the trailer, to hardly be Oscar material, but to instead be purely action-packed entertainment with little plot. Nonetheless it is nominated, unfortunately, and we’ll see how it fares in our awards list.

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American Hustle 12 Years a Slave

The trailer for “American Hustle” is crazy and confusing. Of course, that isn’t necessarily bad. The story from the trailer is guns, sex, and money. And Jennifer Lawrence. That’s enough to make anyone want to go watch it. Kidding. The trailer gives away very little about the plot of the movie, although it is obviously about some sort of crime. There also appears to be some romantic drama. It looks funny and interesting and everyone should go see it.

Captain Phillips

I challenge you to find a moment in the films of 2013 more spine-tingling than the moment in the trailer of “Captain Phillips” when Barkhad Abdi, playing the head Somalian pirate taking over Captain Richard Phillips’ vessel, tells Tom Hanks, who is playing Phillips, “Look at me, look at me, I’m the captain now.” Once you see this, you immediately feel the urge to view this movie as soon as possible, at the nearest theater. It is a stereotypical Oscar movie, and may see great success.

Wolf of Wall Street

Some movies are good for kids.

Others aren’t. “Wolf of Wall Street,” although apparently extremely funny, is rated R for a reason. With lots of drinking, language, and sex, the trailer keeps children away. The movie runs through the party life of Jordan Belfort, a rich, successful hilarious man who is a complete player.

He is rolling in cash, gets around and acts awesome. He’s just like, “Yeah I’m awesome, no big deal.” There appears to be a good deal of action, with guns, car chases, and explosions. However, the trailer gives the impression that there isn’t any plot, which is bad because people like plot.

Overall, the trailer was intriguing and different.

Slavery is an intrinsic part of American history, even if we would like to forget it. The trailer for “12 Years a Slave,” based on a true story, is full of emotions and history. Although the trailer doesn’t give away all of the plot of the story, it does tell some background information that gets the crowd interested. For example, the trailer shows how the main character is kidnapped from his old home and taken back to the south to become a slave. It is obviously full of action as they show several fight scenes. There also appears to be some romance which adds to the flavor of the movie.

Best Trailer: Capitan Phillips Worst Trailer: Philomena See the full results online at FHSRoyalBanner.com

Her

Spike Jonze is the epitome of cool.

A director who has done a number of acclaimed movies, not to mention music videos for such artists as Sonic Youth, Beastie Boys, Weezer, R.E.M., Pavement, and Arcade Fire, and has many producer and screenwriter credits to his name, he must never have a dull moment. His coolness is further projected onto his newest film, “Her”. The trailer reveals a somewhat lonely man played

by Joaquin Phoenix who finds companionship, even love, in his OS. It chronicles various moments of him feeling joy with his phone, even spending quality time on the beach.

This movie appears in the trailer to be a bit self-serious, and also slightly cheesy, but it primarily looks like a well-put-together movie that pushes the envelope.

Entertainment

Dallas Buyers

Probably the most exciting trailer that the Oscar nominees have to offer is “Dallas Buyers Club.” The story of a man who contracts HIV and must go to Mexico to acquire the drugs that will save his life is all included in just the trailer. Yet it doesn’t drag on like you would think a trailer that encompasses so much of the plot. Look for “Dallas Buyers Club” to accumulate awards at the Oscars.

Nebraska

“Nebraska” is the story of Woody Grant, an elderly, crazy, drunken man who lives in Montana and has won a million dollars from a magazine. He lives with a lot of his family, including his son and wife. Although the trailer gives away very little about the plot, it is apparent that high schoolers wouldn’t enjoy the movie very much. All that is revealed is that Woody is a millionaire and that someone is being blackmailed. It isn’t the best trailer. It looks dull with very little action or romance. Two minutes into the trailer, most people are already asleep. It doesn’t look the best for kids, it’s rated R because the extreme language.

Philomena

Upon viewing the trailer, “Philomena” seems like one of the most unlikely movies to ever be given a Best Picture nomination. Sure, maybe a touching, if not corny, dramedy that will get some laughs and a heartwarming story, but a Best Picture nominee? Like “Gravity,” “Philomena” has a trailer that suggests more entertainment than plot. It shows moments of Judy Dench being funny in an older British woman way (and even for that quite poorly,) and moments manufactured to be touching of her searching for a lost son. It truly appears completely out of place on the Best Picture nominees list, yet here it is, a nominee, despite all odds.

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Entertainment

Penne Rosa at Noodles and Company

Steak and Cheese sandwich from Firehouse Subs Photo by Emily Ellis

PeiWei$9

The most important thing to know about Pei Wei is that you are not getting traditional Chinese food. Pei Wei gives you your average Americanized menu, and the giant TVs where the menu is displayed is anything but humble. Not to mention that you will definitely “Pei Wei” more than at other, similar restaurants. That being said, when the food arrives it is quite tasty and the portions are enough to keep even a teenage boy happy. The decor is modern, with the most notable aspect of the place being its red floors, so at least you have something nice to look at while you wait for your meal. They also threw in a free drink, which was a pleasant touch. Overall, it made for a fun, satisfying experience. What more could you ask for? Best bet: Sweet and Sour Chicken.

Chipotle$9

Of all the places to eat on 29th, Chipotle easily gives you the best bang for your buck. 7$ gets you an innumerable combination of rices, veggies, meats, salsas, and toppings, all wrapped up in a neat, freshly-steamed tortilla.

The service is fast and friendly, and the most time-consuming part of the whole process is waiting for the 150 college kids in front of you to decide whether or not they want Pinto beans.

Its hearty burritos/bowls taste as good as they look and smell. On top of all of that, it’ healthy (high in calories, but they are good calories.) Best bet: Carnitas Burrito, with pico de gallo, and hot salsa. Be sure to add some fresh chips for 2$ (it’s worth it.)

By David Sachs

Daphne’s$10

What Daphne’s lacks in low prices and quality service, it makes up for in taste and variety. Think of it as the gourmet choice as far as cheap fast food goes.

The prices, though higher than most, are justified by having the most interesting menu. The long wait and sub par interactions with the staff are balanced out by how good the food itself is.

The classic Gyro can be spiced up with sides ranging from the traditional rice or hummus, to the not so conventional french fries (recommended.) They also offer chicken, salads, and assortments of different sandwiches, if you aren’t feeling particularly Greek. Best bet: Gyro Pita combo with fries and a side salad.

Royal Banner Firehouse is at the top of my list of restaurants to go at 29th. Even though they have the relatively steep price of $9 for a large sub (without chips and drink, mind you,) I find it to be easily the better tasting and more filling than any of the other options.

In particular, their Steak and Cheese Sub (basically a Philly cheesesteak) is a fantastic quick meal with a rich flavor that you wouldn’t normally associate with a big chain. To cap it all off, they give away free firehats.

Firehouse$9

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Second on my list is Pei Wei, the Chinese restaurant owned

by P.F. Chang’s. While this third spot could have realistically been occupied by Chipotle, Smashburger, or any of a number of different restaurants, I chose Pei Wei because it adds a little variety to your food. Pei Wei has good quality Chinese food (very comparable to P.F. Chang’s) and gives you enormous portions for the $9 you spend on a regular dish. Plus, they throw in a free drink. Best dish: Kung Pao Chicken.

PeiWei$9

Photo by Emily Ellis

Penne Rosa at Noodles and Company

Noodles$9

My final choice for places to eat on 29th street, is Noodles and Company. Noodles is one of the most popular places to eat, and for good reason. Not only does Noodles have great taste, they have reasonable prices for anything on their menu. Nine dollars gets you a regular size bowl of pasta, and you can add a side salad for only a dollar more. Favorite Dish: Mac and Cheese

Entertainment The third and final selection of my best restaurants to go to at 29th lies Noodles & Company--possibly the most popular eating establishment in Boulder.

However, while it might seem like cheating to choose one of the most well-known restaurants in the state as my second choice, it is well-known for a reason. You can get a large bowl of noodles for $8, with any of a variety of meats added on for an extra dollar, which puts Noodles as one of the cheapest restaurants on 29th. Plus, their menu selection is impeccable, and you could spend an entire year there and not eat the same thing twice. Best dish: Penne Rosa with chicken.

Noodles$9

By Alex Ray

By Lucia Rose

Smash$10 Firehouse$9

The #10 (Beef and Cheddar Brisket) may be $10 at Firehouse, it is well worth it. The #10 is both satisfying and filling. The meat is cooked to perfection, paired with quality cheddar and topped with mayo and barbeque sauce. Firehouse also supplies a welcoming staff and outdoor seating. Firehouse is a great selection on 29th Street if you are looking for great taste, service and experience.

Smashburger is at the top of my list of restaurants at 29th Street.

Not only is their environment welcoming and comforting, but the food is spectacular. You can walk in with under $9, order a Classic Smashburger and regular fries, and leave incredibly satisfied. Out of the handful of times I have dined at Smashburger, I have never experienced poor service or consumed a poorly-cooked meal. Smashburger is a exquisite choice if you are searching for a satisfactory meal on a budget.

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Chicago Rap

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The Swan Song are some of the most unique and impressive you will hear anywhere. His second release, called “Pack of Loosies,” is a 15 track whirlwind of rhymes. The combination of his voice and beats he uses is a deadly combination (even more so than this last album, “Muerte.”)

Will has been picked up by a label known as Stank Face Records, an up-and-coming label that has numerous Chicago artists on it, including, The Palmer Squares.

The P-Squares newest album, “Finna” delivers on so many levels that an elevator would be jealous. The Palmer Squares have a unique style that mixes their extremely impressive lyricism with a modern feel that keeps the music relevant and fresh. Their beats give their songs a definite tone, and the album rides an arc of moods. This ability to make a project a unified piece of work as opposed to a random compilation, is what sets The Palmer Squares and other Chicago rappers apart from many of the other recording artists out there.

Photo by David Sachs

public eye.

Chance the Rapper is one of the first names that come It’s probably safe to say that to mind when thinking about you have never heard of The the waiting-to-explode underPalmer Squares before. Comground rap community. His hit prised of two men known by album “Acid Rap” helped to force the names of Terminal Knowlhim into the public conscience. edge and Acumental, the rap His unique style and, (for lack of duo based out of Chicago has a better word,) alternative sound predominantly flown under the epitomize the essence of Chicago radar, producing music for the rap. He hasn’t seemed to change lucky few who get to call themhis style with his growing popselves members of their obsessed ularity which is one of the most fanbase. Under the radar until attractive qualities of his music. late last year that is, when they Last July, Chance did a song released their debut full length called “LSD” with another Chialbum, “Finna.” cago artist by the name of ProbAlright, you are probably sayCause. Prob’s most recent album, ing, “Why should I care?”

“The Recipe: Volume 2,” is posiWell, The Palmer Squares are The tively genius and even better feajust another example of the slowP-Squares tures some more of the city’s best ly growing, highly intelligent, newest talent. He also recently released a lyrically-outstanding group of album, new track with Chi-Town’s rock rappers who are changing the way people are listening to rap. “Finna” and soul group, “The O’My’s,” And almost all of them have one delivers calling it “the first of many.” This on so collaboration generated a very thing they have in common: Chimany unique sound that is very acouscago. levels tically interesting. ProbCause Many styles and rappers have that an draws in many of his listeners originated in the Windy City. elevator with his complex wordplay and You probably have heard of some of them, Kanye West and Lupe would be flow, often times varying the Fiasco, or the up-and-coming jealous. speed and rhythm of his delivery.

I find delivery to be one of the Chief Keef (following his hit, most important traits in rap mu“Love Sosa.”) All are exceptionsic, and the next artist, holds that al musicians and promoters in their own right, however they Submit above all else.

Will is Chillin’ is probably the are missing the distinct sound ideas to most underheard of all of the artand passion that comes with beus on ing underdiscovered. (I say un- Twitter or ists on this list, but he shouldn’t derdiscovered as opposed to un- Facebook be. When I had the chance to speak to him earlier discovered because many of the this month about one of rappers I will be talking about his songs, he told me have in fact gained some form that, “I pride myself of notoriety.) Most of the lyrical on my delivery.” masterminds and wordsmiths And he has of Chi-town lurk under the gray every right to. clouds that roll off Lake MichiWill’s flow and gan, waiting for that famous Chidelivery cago wind to blow them in to the

by David Sachs

Entertainment

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Humor

Student’s Life Given Meaning When Told He Tests Well

By Maddie Stachniak

Photo Credit: Maddie Stachniak

Seymour Brains socializes with a fellow student.

Seymour Brains, Fairview High School student and zombie, found that his life finally had new meaning after discovering that he tests well.

This comes as a godsend to the undead teenager, who was previously unable to participate, well, in any classes or extracurricular activities due to his tendency to often lose limbs. But when he sat down to take the SAT for the first time, something extraordinary happened: Brains achieved a near perfect score in all categories.

“It’s simply astonishing,” said Brains’ mother, Diane Brains.

“That boy, bless his un-beating little heart, has never done anything remarkable in his life.

But now, with these test scores, he’s started getting college offers right and left!”

However, some students and parents in the Fairview community have not been as quick to celebrate. Some claim Brains has an unfair advantage.

“I think the whole situation is ridiculous. I’m the number one runner on the track team, I started my own band, and I do well in my classes, but I suck at standardized tests, so I don’t...

AAAHH! No! Get away from me, Seymour! Stop it!!” said student Max Fido on the matter as he was being chased by an unidentified zombie.

“I can see the dilemma here. Does the fact that he is a soulless, joyless, thoughtless creature help him to do well on standardized tests? Of course it does. They literally designed these tests with people like him in mind. But I stand

by Seymour.” Principal Ron Renstud said of the dispute.

However, despite controversy, Brains’ test scores are still valid, and he and his mother couldn’t be happier.

When asked to comment, Brains had only this to say: “Grrr... Brains... Abrogate... Plaudit... Lachrymose... Must... memorize... more SAT words...”

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Humor

Government Catches Senioritis

By Dvir Goldman

Good Job, Fairview. You’ve done it again. Because of you, the government will not be functioning.

What did you do? You gave the entire government senioritis. Yeah, you know how they’ve gotten nothing done, been on Facebook 3 hours a day and slept during work?

That’s all on you, seniors. You know, it’s one thing to do the Running of the Bulls, but its another thing entirely to shut down the government.

Last week, I asked Chris Christie how the bridges in New Jersey were running, to which he replied, “How would I know, it’s not my problem.”

You know what Rand Paul said to me when I told him to get back to work and help promote the Libertarian Party? He said, “Stop it, Mom, I’m figuring stuff out.”

And yesterday, I saw Mitch McConnell, and when I asked him how far he is from balancing a budget (again, any budget,) he told me, “I don't care, get off my back, bro.”

Last week, President Barack Obama ditched a congressional hearing on how the Obamacare website was running to go play basketball with Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton.

And it’s not just the Legislative and Executive Branches. The Supreme Court has caught it too. When asked whether they thought gun ownership should be regulated, and they responded in unison: “****ing who gives a flying ****, lol, get off my back bro.”

You know, I’m getting pretty sick of getting off the government’s back. Editor In Chief, I can totally say that, get off my back, dang it, now I’ve got senioritis.

Serena L’Dara and Emma Sanchez with new BFF’s Brobama and McMain Man. These seniors are rumored to have begun the spread of senioritis to government officials.

Photo Credits: Dvir Goldman

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Humor

Valentine’s Day Crossword

By Maya Jayachandra

Across: 1. The incredibly anatomically incorrect shape of cardboard boxes #4 is sold in.

5. They all get sprayed with the same fake perfume and therefore all smell exactly the same.

6. Cheapskate version of #4.

7. Where #11 was from.

10. Only Hershey’s product worth eating.

Down: 2. The event that happened on February 14th, 1929 that may or may not be symbolism.

3. Popular video website everyone will be using on Valentine's.

4. Best part of Valentine's Day. Not a matter of opinion.

7. One of two main V-Day colors and the color of blood. Also some odd symbolism there. Strange.

8. Disgusting fruit/somewhat disgusting social convention.

9. Other main V-Day color and the color of pigs. Wow. All the symbolism here is almost as much as English teachers make up when teaching books.

11. The guy who created the day and humbly got it named after himself was one.

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Humor

What Your Pet Says About You

By Maya Jayachandra

If you own a snake, you are probably a death eater.

Photo Credit: Maya Jayachandra

Last Wednesday, the Irrelevant Discussions Relating to Domesticated Animals Committee (IDRDAC) met to discuss the urgent issue of which people tend to have which pets. Below are their incredibly important findings.

The chairperson of the committee, Jenny Doe, issued an official statement after the IDRDAC met saying, “I’d like to personally clear up the rumors that these pet-owner profiles were derived from the personalities of the pets themselves. That allegation is unfounded and preposterous.”

Doe then stormed away, her seven dalmatians in tow. (She returned several minutes later with three of seven dalmatians missing and requested we include her statement in this article.)

Without further ado, the results: 1) Normal/Large Dog: You’re energetic and sociable. You like being outdoors. You appreciate long walks and bounding after squirrels and cars to the point of endangering yourself and others.

2) Small Yappy Irritating Dog: Your voice is incredibly high-pitched. You don't have a high tolerance for cold and your parents used to pick out your clothes before you got all of them muddy and/or ripped up.

3) Cat: You’re introverted and you don’t go outside ever. You like carrying dead rodents around in your mouth.

The most social interaction you have is with family members you may or may not mistrust severely.

4) Parrot: You’re a colorful person who tends to be repetitive and amazingly annoying while doing so. Your hair is either completely normal or colored unnaturally. Definitely one of the two.

5) Other Bird: You’re not as colorful as parrot-owners, and you should probably avoid mirrors and glass windows like the plague.

6) Rodent of some sort: You like cheese. You’re unassuming and you have a penchant for squeezing into small spaces and never coming back. It’s slightly worrying.

7) Snake: Voldemort had a pet snake once before he put a piece of his fractured, borderline psychopathic soul into it. (This was all the IDRDAC had to say on the matter.)

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Humor

Hipsterception: The Rabbithole is Too Mainstream

By Maddie Stachniak

Being a hipster has become too mainstream. The vinyl market is making a comeback, and plaid shirts and horn-rimmed glasses are selling like hotcakes.

But these fools are going against the very doctrine of our people.

The very essence of being a hipster is that one goes against all that is typical and mainstream.

Wake up, sheeple! By following the crowd, even if it was to buy records at a slam poetry coffee shop, you are destroying the plight of hipsters everywhere.

Now, even blonde, blue-eyed Taylor Swift lovers are buying typewriters and donning scarves.

This ship is sinking, and we have to abandon it fast. To become non-mainstream, we must now go against the hipsters. We must go deeper.

Taylor Swift, One Direction and Beyonce were out. Now they’re back in. Uggs, leggings, cracked iPhone screens, feather earrings and driving Daddy’s car are also back in. For guys, basketball socks, bro tanks, snapback hats, and calling everyone ‘bro’ is out, so of course now it’s back in.

I know this won’t be an easy transition for us. I bought my first pair of Steve Maddens today and I cried. Like a child. A sad little child. Who is crying. In order to become original, we must lose what once made us unique. We

Photo Credit: Maddie Stachniak

must pick up our Starbucks, Trade in your hipster boots for some uggs! donn our letterman jackets, and become what we were always destined to be: a future art major.

Crossword Answer Key:

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