Boer Soek 'n Vrou Parody: The Murder of Katrien

BOER SOEK N VROU:JY SAL DIT BEROU a 5 minute screenplay Written by Rowen Smith

Based on, Boer soek n Vrou (TV series)

10 Lothian Rd Rondebosch Cape Town 7700 +27(0) 79 647 0077 Rowen.work@gmail.com

Final Draft 24/02/2011

FADE IN: INT. LIVINGROOM - DAY HANNES is talking to ELMA POSTMA about the previous contestant.

HANNES Ag jy weet Elma, ek en Jolanda pas nie regtig nie, dis beter as ons net vriende bly.

ELMA Is dit. Wel ons het n nuwe deelnemer. Kom ons gaan ontmoet haar.

EXT. KRAAL - MORNING Hannes just arrived in his farm bakkie. He climbs out and joins Elma and KATRIEN by the Kraal door.

ELMA Haai daar. Jy lyk opegewonde. Wel, hier is Katrien, die volgende deelnemer.

HANNES (shyly) Goeiedag, welkom op my plaas.

KATRIEN Hey, aangename kennis. Fris Chris.

Elma is telling the viewers at home about the episode and you can see Hannes an Katrien in the background getting to know each other.

ELMA (to TV camera) Jolanda is huis toe en Katrien is die nuwe dame op die plaas, bly ingeskakel ons is nou terug.

EXT. PIGSTY - DAY Hannes is up to his knees in the pigsty, feeding the pigs, the EPK crew member interrupts him for a quick interview.

HANNES (to EPK camera) Wat? Oh,hi. Jammer ek’s bietjie in die zone hier. Katrien? Jis ja sy’s oulik hoor, ek laaik haar kwaai. Sy kan dalk die een wees.

(MORE)

2.

HANNES (CONT'D) Raaito, wat eet ons vannand ?

Boerewors of vark chops?

Hannes takes out his biltong knife and goes into the depth of the pigsty , going to slaughter tonight’s meal.

EXT. PERDEKRAAL - AFTERNOON Elma is talking to the viewers at home about today's events.

ELMA (to TV camera) Welkom terug, vandag gaan Hannes en Katrien perdry en die pragtige natuurskoon bekyk.

Katrien struggles to get on her horse. WILLIAM, the Producer, intervenes and helps her up, grabbing her bum.

KATRIEN Ey! watch what your grabbing there Bigshot.

WILLIAM My opologies, hey you know you want’d it. Listen why don’t you meet in my room tonight...

Katrien winks and smiles at him flirtatiously. Hannes see's what’s going on as he walks to his horse.

EXT.FARMHOUSE - NOON William is talking to a client on his cellphone and having a smoke. Hannes walks to him when no one is watching. The EPK camera spots them and follows Hannes without him knowing.

WILLIAM (into cellphone) Yeah, yeah. Just hang on. Hannes, What can I...

Hannes slaps the phone out of his hand and pushed him up against the farmhouse wall.

HANNES Hey boeta, ek sien wat jy probeer doen, die is my plaas en sy's my girl, so Backoff!

WILLIAM (smurkingly) Ha-ha. She doesn't love you, can't you see. She wants a real man from the real world, not a dirty peasant like you!

3.

EXT. PLAASDAM -DAY Hannes takes his shirt off and jumps in, he calls Katrien and she joins him, in a very sexy and revealing bikini. The entire film crew watches them having fun in the water. Elma calls Hannes for a short interview on camera.

ELMA Is die water koud?

HANNES Nee glad nie, lyk dit so?

ELMA Net n bietjie. Hoe is dit saam Katrien sover, geniet jy haar geselskap?

CUT TO: EXT. PLAASDAM - CONTINUOUS Katrien gets William. The attention is camera truck

out of the water seductively and looks at interview continues with Hannes and everyone's with him. William pulls Katrien behind the and they make out passionately.

HANNES (V.O.) Ja sy’s baie slim, sy sal mooi aanpas by die plaaslewe. Sy hou ook baie van my biltong.

ELMA (V.O.) Dink jy sy sal getrou bly?

HANNES (V.O.) Ja, verseker. Sy’s baie ordentlik, nes my ma was.

The EPK cameraman see's Katrien and William and starts recording them as they kiss and feel each other up.

FADE TO: INT. LIVINGROOM- DAY Hannes and Katrien is on the couch together, being interviewed by Elma.

ELMA Gister was baie interresant. Hoe is dinge tussen julle?

4.

HANNES Katrien, jy is baie spesiaal en ek wil jou nie verloor nie. Ek dink jy’s die..

Katrien interupts him and stands up.

KATRIEN ek dink nie dit gaan werk tussen ons nie, daar’s iemand anders Hannes, ek’s jammer. Ek kan net nie meer..

CUT TO: Katrien is sitting down again to continue the interview for the viewers at home. She puts up an act in front of the camera.

KATRIEN (CONT’D) (to Elma) Ja, ons sal nog sien hoe loop dinge, dalk is daar iets.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Hannes is in his room in a black suit. He finishes up and takes the wedding ring box on his bedside table.

INT.SCULLERY NIGHT Katrien picks out some spices and all that she needs to prepare supper for Hannes and the guys. William joins her and they argue about something. The EPK camera man follows William as he goes in.

KATRIEN Hey there Bighshot.

WILLIAM Katrien we need to talk. We have to stop doing this, Hannes knows and he's not happy.

KATRIEN (angrily) What, no. I don't love him. He looks at me like I’m a peace of meat. I love you. If you don't want to be with me the whole country will know about us. Your career will be over.

5.

WILLIAM You know what, this is over! I’m done with you!

William leaves the scullery shouting his last words to her, furiously!

INT. KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER Hannes enters the kitchen silently. Katrien is still in the scullery, collecting supplies for her dish. Katrien thinks that it is William again.

KATRIEN (annoyed) What do you want now William?

Hannes walks closer and closer. Katrien anxiously turns around. That's when Hannes takes out his Biltong knife and brutally stabs her to death. Katrien shouts aloud. The EPK cameraman hears the noise and runs towards them. He finds a man in a black suit escaping the scene and Katrien dead.

EXT.FRONT YARD-NIGHT Police cars are parked outside the farmhouse. Two policemen are arresting William for the murder of Katrien.

FADE TO: EXT. RIVERSIDE - DAY Hannes is sitting on the hatch of his bakkie,. Beside him lay the contestant entry forms. He carves a piece of biltong with his biltong knife, eats and picks up an entry form, then looks into the abyss.

FADE TO BLACK.