Strawberries and cream (of society!)

It’s a dry, although murky, Bank Holiday Monday, and not exactly the sort of day that would have someone thinking of strawberries and cream, and the posh people that always seem to get tickets to the tennis at Wimbledon.

And yet this morning I am thinking of tennis, or more specifically of Fitzwilliam Lawn Tennis Club, where there appears to be uproar over the sacking of two of its more senior staff in recent months.

Now obviously I have no idea as to why the two men were dismissed, but allegedly the club had to pay more than €200,000 in settlements to them. However, all of that is in-house matters. What caught my eye was the financial implications of being a member of Fitzwilliam Lawn Tennis Club.

To join, you would have to cough up a once-off fee of €8,000. Thereafter, for the privilege of playing your tennis in Fitzwilliam, you would hand over €2,525 every single year. It appears that €470 of that fee gives you credit at the bar and restaurant, which seems to be a sneaky way of penalising every member of the club!

After all, if someone only wanted to play tennis and didn’t want to either eat or drink in the clubhouse, they would still be charged €470 each year for something they didn’t use at all. Surely a charge like that should be optional. Still, judging by the breakdown of the 2,319 members, I don’t suppose they are too bothered. It seems that many of Ireland’s most senior business people, lawyers and judges are well represented in the membership list.

Recently a friend of mine who has just relocated to the west expressed an interest in joining a golf club in this particular neck of the woods and was pleasantly surprised to discover that golf club fees have come down quite a bit over the last few years, that after decades of being a

And finally…

game almost solely for the wealthier upper classes, it is now in the reach of ordinary mortals.

Meanwhile, my calculator tells me that if everyone in Fitzwilliam (where billionaire Denis O’Brien is one of the members) stumps up, €5,855,485 is collected each year in membership fees, so I suppose €200,000 or so in settlements is only a drop in the ocean.

I was seriously thinking of sending in my application to join the Ranelagh-based tennis ‘aces’, but on reading the rules it seems that I cannot wear a singlet or display a bare midriff. As someone who likes to play my tennis displaying my ample midriff, I have reluctantly decided to abandon my attempt to become a Fitzwilliam member, and will instead join my friend in going back to golf.

My dream of becoming the next Roger Federer may be over, but I suppose it won’t be too bad to be the next Rory McIlroy!

We often hear about the story of the buses – you wait ages for one to come and then two arrive together! That, in a strange way, sort of sums up the story of this weekend on the social front out here in Creggs. Usually in February there isn’t much happening in the pubs or anywhere else as we wait for Paddy’s Day, although thanks to the Bank Holiday there was a big crowd at ‘The Boogiemen’ in Mikeen’s last Saturday night, but this coming weekend it’s all systems go.

Olivia Harris tells me that, fresh from the success of their recent promotion, bingo returns to the School Hall in Creggs on Friday night, with an 8 pm start. There will be a raffle, with the usual great bingo prizes and a €500 jackpot. Double books are €15, single €10, flyers €2, and all proceeds go to the national school. It’s termed as a Valentine’s Bingo, so it’s your chance to show there’s a bit of romance left in you yet! As if that wasn’t enough excitement for one weekend, on Saturday night our successful Tansey Cup footballers are getting their medals at a ‘do’ in Jackson’s in Roscommon, with the meal at 7 pm and the ‘follow up’ hooley in JJ Harrow’s. Sadly I won’t be at either event as I will be supporting Ireland in the Aviva. As I said…two buses coming together – but I won’t be on either of them!