Miriam’s MUSINGS

Words of wit and wisdom with MIRIAM KERINS

As an educator, it’s my firm belief that every single student/participant attending my classes/training programmes should feel not just safe and welcome, but also affirmed and respected. Therefore, whenever I’d introduce myself to the room, I’d politely request that everyone present would let me know how they’d like to be addressed. I did this, (and still do), because not only do I like to be mindful and thoughtful around my use of pronouns – especially when addressing a person whose preferred one differs from what appears on their birth certificate – but I believe that an individual’s gender identity should never be assumed.

Misgendering a person, especially a young one, can be embarrassing both for the individual who – albeit unintentionally – makes the error, but I’d imagine even more so for the person who’s been called the wrong pronoun. To that end, instead of opening my lectures with “good morning boys and girls” or “hello ladies and gentlemen”, I always said “hi folks”, or, being from north Dublin, opened with the ice-breaking colloquialism, “hower yez”?

I mention the above on foot of many readers asking me what I think about the current debacle, (some say debate; I say catastrophic disaster), regarding a certain educator’s refusal to address a transgender student with the pronoun ‘they’. This educator’s stand is, I believe, being taken based purely on their devout Christian beliefs.

That’s fine, everyone is entitled to hold their religious beliefs, and to base their choices around them if they so wish. I respect that. However, (and I’m just throwing this out there), doesn’t being a Christian also mean being tolerant? Doesn’t being a Christian, and being a decent human being, also mean striving to foster a relationship with your students which is based on safety and trust? Doesn’t being a Christian mean being able to support and respect another per- son’s gender preferences; especially if that person is a young student at what is possibly a vulnerable stage of their development?

If I were chatting with this Enoch Burke, my advice to him would be to ask himself two very basic questions: What kind of relationship do you want to have with the young people whose minds you’re guiding/nurturing? I don’t know what their answer would be, but I’d hope they’d want to foster trust and safety. I’d then ask this educator how they’d personally feel if their supervisor (in this instance the school principal), refused to call them by their chosen name or pronoun? Again, I don’t know what their response would be, but I’m guessing they may feel unsupported and disrespected.

On July 15th 2015, our government, in its wisdom, passed an important piece of legislation called the Gender Recognition Act. This Act provides for anyone over the age of 18 years to avail of a process enabling trans people to achieve full legal recognition of their preferred gender. It also allows them to get a new birth certificate to reflect that change. While the procedure is slightly more difficult/takes a bit longer for teens in the 16-17 age bracket, it’s still possible, and still achievable. If anyone reading this (particularly a young person) is experiencing uncertainty re- garding their gender, believing they don’t identify with the one assigned to them at birth, I implore you to please have a chat and share those feelings with a parent/grandparent/aunt/uncle/sibling/ friend or a trusted teacher.

Remember folks; our gender identity is the single most fundamental element of our lives from beginning to end – and no individual, organisation or doctrine should ever have the power to invalidate our human sense of being. Nor should they demand we state as fact something which we organically believe to be untrue. To access support services, or to get advice, readers can log onto www.belongto.org or www.teni.ie