WATCHING People

With PAUL HEALY

Byrne Carolan Cunningham Solicitors

You were a bit funny in the pub last night…

So were you! We had three pints…and you bought the odd round! I couldn’t believe it! Funny! I meant when you began talking about getting old…

I was just facing facts! We are getting old!

Older…but not old!

(They pause to calculate how much it will cost Enoch Burke in fines if he keeps turning up at his ‘old’ school between now and end of term)

Do you really think we’re getting old? We don’t stay out as late as we used to, do we?

True…

Other signs: Do you ever get up in the middle of the night to have a pee?

Sounds familiar!

I’m guessing you’re a classic middle-aged dad. Do you go on and on about the heat being left on too long?

Well, have you seen the price of oil?

Are you watching documentaries on World War II?

They’re fascinating!

And mass murderers?

That would be ‘Britain’s Most Evil Killers’ with Fred Dinenage…great stuff!

Endangered Species Thebarstoolboyos

Well, you know what I mean… Have trouble finding your keys? Okay, I’ve accepted your argument! But we’re young at heart! Get grumpy with other drivers? Yeah, but have you seen some of the idiots out there!

Prefer Lyric FM to any of the other stations?

But it’s so…soothing!

(They pause to discuss Roscommon’s impressive win against Tyrone, before resuming…)

Not a fan of TikTok, I’m guessing? I’m still trying to navigate Facebook! You’re so behind the times! Facebook’s on the decline!

Oh dear! Just as I was about to start posting! I took a photo of my breakfast earlier!

You’re not the only one about to start posting! They’ve let Donald Trump back on Facebook…and Instagram!

Really? Maybe regular Trump posts will halt Facebook’s decline… ‘Go oldies’! Mmnn…

So there’s a reminder that great things can be achieved…even in old age! Huh?

Well, Trump is 76, and he’s planning to run for the White House again! Have you forgotten the chaos he caused? Now you’re suggesting that I’m getting forgetful!

Well, I did wonder when you bought that odd round in three last night!

Roscommon footballers, with Davy Burke’s charges recording an unexpected win over Tyrone to make a great start to their Allianz National Football League campaign

The Irish movie industry, still basking in the glow of Ireland receiving a record 14 Oscar nominations, including nine for The Banshees of Inisherin

Rory McIlroy, this after he won the Dubai Desert Classic, holding off the challenge of Patrick Reed, with whom the Northern

Ireland golfer has been involved in a public spat

It’s been a BAD week for…

UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and then-Tory party chairman Nadhim Zahawi;

Sunak sacked his friend after he was deemed to have breached the ministerial code, but critics say the PM showed poor leadership and acted too late

Struggling Liverpool FC, this after defeat to Brighton in the FA Cup continued a poor run of form for Jurgen Klopp’s men