The importance of discussing sex with our Children

cont’d from pg. 49 teenagers contain sexual content.) A program on teenage pregnancy can set the stage for talking about why (other) teenagers take chances and how much your child knows.

Don’t overwhelm the young adolescent with information. If your son or daughter asks a question, answer it and ask if there is anything else they would like to know. Your goals should be first to find out what your child knows and correct misinformation and second to let the youngster know that it is okay to talk about sex. The best way to break the ice is to show the adolescent you are interested in his or her views on topics like teenage pregnancy and sexual harassment.

• Respect your adolescent’s privacy. As teenagers move into adolescence, their desire for privacy increases. They don’t want you going through their drawers or email while they are in school, and they don’t want you prying into their private thoughts. The rule that sex is private is not for adults only. If your daughter takes you into her confidence, don’t rush off to tell your husband or your best friend what she said. Let her decide whom she wants or doesn’t want to know about her feelings.At some point, nearly all preteens ask “How old do you have to be to have intercourse?”

Don’t assume that your son or daughter is contemplating an affair. Most young teenagers are looking for reasons not to have sex, and welcome their parent’s help in saying no. Even still, it might not be too soon to begin discussing now how to make responsible decisions about sex, and bad reasons for having sex before marriage.

The best approach with preteens is to emphasize the real risk:

• Unprotected sex-at any age, even once, can result in pregnancy. The only way to prevent pregnancy is to abstain from intercourse. No form of contraception is 100 percent effective.

• Pregnancy at an early age is both physically and psychologically risky. Very young mothers are more likely to have complicated pregnancies and deliveries than are women in their twenties; their babies are more likely to be underweight, sickly, and slow to develop. Girls who become mothers in their teens are far less likely than other girls to complete high school or go to college. They are also less likely than other girls to marry the father of their baby or, if they do, to stay married. Abortion also entails greater risk when the girl is very young, it’sonly because young teens are reluctant to face the possibility that they are pregnant and delay seeing a physician. In short, young adolescents should know that saying no until they are older is important to their health and their future.