Musings From a Middle Aged Horse Trainer

by Amber Espinoza

Do Not Put Yourself or Your Horsemanship In A Box

One of the biggest problems people encounter in this age of information, is paralysis of information. What I mean by that is we get so overwhelmed with the amount of information out there that we become paralyzed with fear of picking the wrong method, technique or style. Let me free you of that now. There is no right or wrong, there is no good or bad, there is just experiences, learning and growth. EVERYTHING offers an opportunity to learn and we must go on the journey of learning our entire careers and lives.

Trust Your Gut

Just because you like one thing about a certain trainer, doesn’t mean you must like all things from that trainer. It is ok to feel some kind of way about something they say or do and decide it isn’t right for you. Don’t be disrespectful. Keep that to yourself, unless asked. YOU decide what kind of trainer you want to me, what kind of horse person, what your ethics and values are. File that thing away for a later date when you have more experience or maybe it will never be something you use/do. The worst thing you can do as a young developing trainer, is develop a rigid mind. Really, all of us shouldn’t have a mind like this. It limits us. It limits possibility and it limits how we can help that horse in front of us. I see so much polarizing in the horse world. Picking fun at and dismissing techniques. ALL sides do this and it only hurts them and ultimately the horse. It stems from ignorance. It stems from the human need to be relevant, right and confident. Strive to be humble and have an open mind throughout your whole career and life. You cannot possibly know everything. The minute you feel you got a handle on things, there will be a horse that comes along and lets you know that you know nothing. It isn’t personal. It isn’t a reflection of your self-worth. It just simply is. Observe it from the outside with a pragmatic, self-less mind. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Give your horse the respect to learn from those mistakes.

Don’t Play The Comparison Game

Don’t participate. Your sport, your method, your mentors sport or method, is not the best. The state you live in, is not the best. This country, isn’t the best. Nothing is better than anything else, it is simply different. Any demographic is not better than another. Find your self-worth, value and pride in who you are as an individual. Having a mind that can think and feel independently will serve you so much. Having a herd mind and looking for validation outside of yourself will bring you grief and limit you. When you pigeon hole yourself into beliefs like this, you close off amazing opportunities, experiences and chances to grow. You close yourself off from meeting and experiencing truly amazing people. You run barrels, take some dressage lessons. You jump horses, learn to drive them. EVERYTHING serves you and then ultimately serves the horses subjected to your training knowledge… (to finish article continue to page 22.)

Having Idols

Be careful with this one. You can admire people, how they train, how their horses are, etc. but realize they are just people. They make mistakes too. They are human. They are not gods. I spent far too much time and energy letting people I admired treat me like trash. Give the time, attention and energy to those who truly look at you and value you. Watch, learn, but guard yourself to those who do not see you. Those who cannot be bothered with giving you time and energy. You can learn from them, just be wary of falling under their spell. They are human, just like you.

There Is No Emotion In Horse Training

Repeat this like a mantra. It ain’t personal. When you feel yourself getting emotional (anger, frustration, defeat), stop. Doesn’t matter what is happening, just stop. You don’t need that win right now. Whatever happens after the emotions become unchecked is way worse than just quitting right now. Take some time to muse on why you got emotional. Did you reach the limit of your knowledge? Seek some help. Do you need to get more sleep, need a break or grab something to eat? Do those things. Remember why you are doing this, refocus, breathe and start again. There is always another day. The need to force something has to do with you and nothing to do with the horse. This leads to the next one.

It’s Not The Horse

It’s never the horse. They are just being a horse. Your job is to figure out how to navigate that. How to help them learn and do what you want them to do. If you find yourself blaming the horse, you need to look at yourself. Blaming the horse is easy. Self-reflection is hard. Every horse can be trained, but every horse doesn’t necessary need to be trained or need to be trained by you. Stay humble and realistic. If you find yourself trying to shove a round peg in a square hole, sit back and reflect. Maybe your time and energy could be spent better elsewhere?

Never Stop Learning

We have have a mantra. “Horsemanship Means Always Learning”. We believe this with every fiber of our being. LIFE, means always learning, growing, changing. If you really want to live. I encourage you to always be reading something, watching something, learning, challenging yourself. We have a list of our favorite books in our Amazon Storefront. Many of those are self-help books. Sometimes going outside of horses is the best way to make yourself a better horse trainer. Broaden your horizons and open up your world and mind. Do not limit yourself in who you make friends with, the people you experience, religions, spirituality, mindset, training styles/methods and on and on. Allow your mind to be blown. Allow yourself to be amazed and see the world with wonder and be inspired. Allow yourself to LIVE. Learn from those who already made the mistakes then go off and make your own. One of my favorite things is to listen to biography audiobooks and podcasts of people talking about their lives and journeys.