Global Domination magazine 07

Issue 7 April 2011 www.bcttt.com

Global

www.bcttt.com

Dom nation Magazine

CACTUS CRAZY The Miskin takes on IMFL

MIKE’S HAPPY Lots and lots and lots of new bikes

CLUB CHAMPS 2011 Guide to the BCTTT-Teams

JOHNNY BE GOOD Johnny Rea considers a switch to triathlon, for about one minute

SPEAK UP, SONNY Supreme Grand Master Jody gives us his manifesto for the BCTTT in 2011

Contents ISSUE 7 APRIL 2011

Features 27 SHADY CHARACTER The Miskinator visited the home of IM pelotons to find out just how bad the drafting can get. Here is his race report.

47 LIGHTPSYCHO Darren went to the States and all he got was this lousy £8k bike. We commiserate with the poor bald fool.

15 CLUB CHAMPS TEAMS Ten, count-them – TEN! BCTTT teams are ready to wreck and roll at the Relay Champs in August. Meet them here.

26 HOODIES £30 gets you a splendid garment for wearing pre-race, post-race and down the shops.

24 CAPTION COMPS Winners of the caption competitions and Darren’s cast-off Oakleys revealed here!

38 WE’VE GOT NEW BIKES! Everyone’s been shopping, and Bridgtown seems to be the main recipient. Here are a few of the shiny new steeds!

Global

2 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

8 JOHNNY BE GOOD Superbike World Championship racer, Johnny Rea answers the key questions in our pro interview.

Regulars 4 REVOLUTIONARY COUNCIL We have a new SGM! Look upon his happy smiling face and wonder “How unlucky was that man?”

22 MEET THE MEMBER Mick Wyldebore-Wood spills the beans, while trying to avoid anything that could incriminate him in the eyes of Mermy...

10 ASK THE VETTY Crisis in training? Worried about race-day?

Let the 3ft blonde nut-job fix your woes.

46 CARBONDICULOUS Carbon kitchen this week, so load up the credit card and make sure the tableware has a naked wrap finish.

37 STAT ATTACK Lies, damn lies and statistics make us out to be more freakish than we imagine.

Global

Dom nation Magazine

Subscribe to the online BCTTT club magazine email ed@bcttt.com

Cover story 11 MEET THE SUPREME GRAND MASTER – JODY Jody has been chosen as the 2011 BCTTT Supreme Grand Master, and he has bestowed many gifts upon this most humble spokes-magazine. His noble magnificence took valuable time from his all-important training to deliver unto us his Manifesto for 2011, and to answer our ignorant questions.

One thing is for certain, Jody is unlikely to be decreeing any early morning interval running sessions!

2011 can kiss my arse. Really!

For the rest of you I hope it is somewhat less... challenging... and there are already the starts of the tri-season starting to show its face, with those early races.

Hopefully all that hard work over the winter is now starting to show some benefit. Those in the club with A-races in the distant future might be lured into thinking that it is important to be fast now, when there is still time for building up and peaking at the right time. The weather is awesome – just right for those long Z2 training rides and runs.

For the rest of us aimless halfwits with no plans – racing is fun and loads of laughs, so get out there and smile!

Thanks: To all contributers to this issue: Conehead, Craig, Jods, Mick, everyone with new bikes, Ben, Vetty for being so very short and Sar for proofing. Please keep those fingers crossed for Luce and her job hunt!

ED ris

lower-case.media 2011

April 2011

Global

Dom nation Magazine

3

The BCTTT Revolutionary Council Supreme Grand Master – bigbeard@bcttt.com

Propaganda – danrice@bcttt.com

Brother JoddyBear, the legend of beard himself, is our new SGM, as decreed by the noble council of Mrs C. Read his manifesto for World Domination (and making sure everyone is at the Relays), on page 15.

Brothers Rice and Chapman are responsible for interweb domination, using this strange wonder of the modern world – the ‘website’.

The Founder – conehead@bcttt.com Brother Conehead – founder of the BCTTT – has Red Bull flowing through his veins, lives on a secret volcano island and writes bestselling books on triathlon. He can be seen at various races around the world grinning like a tool on the LightCycle.

Scotland – mac@bcttt.com Brother McLean is spreading the BCTTT word north of the border. If it’s Scottish he’s your man.

WAT Executive Officer Mrs Conehead oversees all matters WAT related and membership (inc. fees). Largely responsible for reining in Conehead from outrageous schemes and ideas she should only be contacted in extreme emergencies; otherwise don’t. If she needs to contact you, you can usually feel the hairs standing up on your neck beforehand.

Wales – cate@bcttt.com Sister Moonshine is reponsible for all things Cymru related. If you have any issues, she will wave her magic wand and resolve them.

Political Officer – ian@bcttt.com Brother Castle is responsible for matters concerning common sense, reality checks and the voice of reason. He is also half cyborg with a newly re-constructed knee, although he doesn’t spend his time trapped in a movie franchise being constantly sent back in time to kill someone called ‘John Connor.’

Europe – jen@bcttt.com Sister Jeppsson co-ordinates the global domination plans for Europe from a fjord in Sweden. Or is that Norway? Either way the European states are falling like dominoes under the guidance of the Swedish task-mistress.

Lanzarote – messer@bcttt.com Brother Starcher is fronting up things in the Canary Islands – this provides us with an important strategic foothold off the coast of Africa. Brother Starcher can be found co-ordinating global domination from a volcano of his own.

Dubai – fatstu@bcttt.com Stu can be found trying not to melt while basking in the heat of “tax free-ness”. It’s unknown how much global domination can be done – but the tendrils of the BCTTT reach far and wide.

North West Brother Butler has wrestled control of the North West from the Ex-SGM. Plans for beasting rides in the frozen wastelands of Cheshire are soon to follow.

Yorkshire & Humberside – gavrigg@bcttt.com The white rose county is soon to come under the influence of the BCTTT via Gavin. Whippets, pigeons and Tetley bitter are all manner of things Gav concerns himself with.

West Midlands – gaz@bcttt.com When not dodging cars stolen by 8 year olds in the Telford area, Brother Roberts cultivates and manages the BCTTT domination of the West Midlands. Now free from injury he will be seen conquering all number of triathlons in 2010!

South West – didds@bcttt.com Brother Didds is responsible for triathlon global domination amongst all things cider and farming.

Based in an idylic country house set among rolling fields, and scaring young and old alike as holder of It’s not about the Bike Award, 2010.

London – jellybaby@bcttt.com Brother Jellybaby ensures the nation’s capital is under the BCTTT umbrella of influence. He’s also taken on the mantle of Vice-SGM, for those times when Scotty is out shopping for pink children’s bikes. Challenging the establishment’s Tri-scene we all know everyone will eventually succumb to the BCTTT influence. It’s simply a mattter of time.

Global

4 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

Bridgtown Est. 1981

Cycles

The UK’s Premier Speed Concept Store

AWARDS

2011 WINNER BIKE OF THE YEAR

Bike and fit consultants to: Tom Lowe, Joel Jameson, Catherine Pickthall & Toby Jameson

Fit Services Pro racer or beginner, no-one should be uncomfortable on a bike.

A detailed fit session will make you more comfortable, powerful & efficient whether going short or long.

Britain’s Fastest Ironman Tom Lowe in for a bike fit and to collect his new 9series Speed Concept and Reynolds wheels.

Traditional methods fit the rider to a preconceived ideal of what the bike should look like. This is wrong. We work to make the bike fit the rider, not the rider fit the bike.

Our fit service takes into account variables of anatomy, flexibility, range of motion and riding style.

What is involved?

Detailed Customer Interview Physical assessment of range of motion Cleat alignment Bike adjustment Review of fit & Advice How long does it take? Circa 3 hours.

www.btownbikes.com Tel: 01922 411 180 • Lakeside Plaza, Walkmill Lane, Bridgtown, Cannock, Staffordshire WS11 0XE

Global 66 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

There are many ďŹ ne bikes at Bridgtown Cycles, but every so often something truly special winds up there. Team GI Tri Bridgtown are the team, and this is the bike of Brit IM recordholder, Tom Lowe.

Pic: Conehead Global April 2011 Dom nation 7 Magazine

Johnny be good Johnny Rea races the Superbike World Championship for Ten Kate Honda. In 2010, he came fourth overall, strengthening his reputation with four race victories over the season.

Johnny is also a Red Bull athlete and therefore comes under the careful, clavicle-breaking, tutelage of Conehead. AndyB will read this article in a fit of jealousy.

Who are you, and what do you do?

Jonathan Rea and I race Superbikes.

How did it all start?

I entered the Red Bull Rookies Program in 2003 and got picked up!

Do you need to be fit for what you do? If so what type of training and roughly how many hours per week?

Yes, training is varied with the season but normally about 15–20 hours per week.

What injuries have you had?

I’ve had a broken femur, tibia, fibula and collarbone. I’ve

Global

24 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

managed a separated shoulder, dislocated finger, torn ACL and MCL in my left knee and torn ACL and medial meniscus in my right knee. I’ve also torn the scapholunate ligament in my left wrist.

Have you ever done a triathlon or would you consider doing one?

I’ve never done one but would like to in the future.

Where is the best place you’ve travelled to and/or best experience so far doing what you do for a living?

I love being in Japan because of the culture and the level of factory support involved in the motorcycle racing industry.

Do you have a road bike? If so what is it?

Yes it’s a Trigon RCQ29.

Who is the fittest person you’ve come up against and why?

No idea!

Out of the three disciplines of triathlon: swimming, cycling and running, which are the ones you’re best at?

Probably cycling because my knees are fucked and I swim like a brick!

You’ve got 30 secs to pack as the world is about to end.

What 3 things do you take with you?

My girlfriend, Iphone and beer.

ELITE INTERVIEW

JOHNNY REA

Do you want to be in the BCTTT?

“Do I get anything free out of it?”

Favourite location to train and why.

Stellenbosch, SA or Boulder, Colorado. Amazing scenery for rides and runs, great guys to train and hang out with and loads to do in downtime.

In long distance triathlons people often simply piss themselves rather than stop – what are your thoughts on this?

Whatever floats your boat.

What is the single worst (hardest) training session you’ve done and why?

Da Cooler Thriller MTB race 2009 as it was freezing and I crashed after 1 hour. I battered my fingers and had to cable tie them together until the finish, 4.5 hours later.

Conehead – describe in three words.

Fit, funny, mental. ■

Have you ever been in a room with a pony and a midget?

No. Do you like rubber?

No. Which is faster: red or black?

Black.

Titanium bike or carbon bike?

Carbon.

Would you ever wear a TT aero helmet?

Probably not.

April 2011

Global

9 Dom nation 27 Magazine

Ask the Vetty Star of “Things Vetty Says” from the interweb, this 3ft blonde nutjob is also a knowledge-base when it comes to triathlon, or “silly races” as they are known.

Vetty has travelled the country as race support for a barely-dressed idiot, and having studied the masters of transition she is here to offer her sage words of advice.

e k a m l l i w ems l b o r p r u yo ver! e n a h t e s less sen

No Daddy, I don’t like it. Daddy, I want to watch Charlie and Lola on CBeebies. Mummy, Daddy is being mean and not letting me watch CBeebies. [Sounds of muttered threats]. I am Goody the Good and I am happy to help!

Time to Die Dear Vetty I have been badly wronged by my owner – a fat, bald, slow idiot – and reside in a garage while he ponces about on his new girly Trek. I’ve made graphic threats of violence and chanted some Satanic rites but he hasn’t come round to my way of seeing things.

What can I do?

Mr BBomber Pain, on the outskirts of Suffering Dear B-b-b-bomber You are a silly bike aren’t you? I have a bike. It is pink and I ride it in the park, and I go really fast. My bike has a bell – if you had a bell maybe the fat man would like you more.

Had a gut-full Dear Verity I am a time-poor triathlete who is planning to take on a 70.3 this year, but I have no idea what to do about my nutrition strategy. I’ve read Joe Friel’s Bible but I don’t know whether to go with gels, carbo drink, cake or a mix of all of them? How often should I drink/eat? I feel totally out of my depth and the race is only a few months away – help!

Churning Stomach, London Dear Churning

If not, tell him to stop being grumpy and eat more ketchup. Ketchup will make it all better. Have you seen the Octonauts? Barnacles is my favourite – my best friend Rhys likes Kwazii, but I like Barnacles.

In the mornings I have podge or maybe pepperpots (cereal, apparently). At lunch I like sausage and chips and peas. For tea I like sausage and chips, please, with ketchup.

Daddy, can I have sausage and chips for tea?

You said if I did the silly races thing I could have sausage and chips. Can I come out of the cupboard now? Is there any chocolate puddings left for afters?

Baby Bonkers Dear Ms Verity

Dear NewDad

My wife/partner [delete as applicable] has recently popped out a babber and now I’m not allowed out to train anymore. It’s nappies and puke and waking up at 3.40am for a feed (and not just for me).

I am now 2/3/4 stone [delete as applicable] overweight and wishing I could get out for a ride.

Do you have any advice as how best to beg the time from my beautfiul, but knackering, child?

Look Mummy, it’s a baby. I like the baby. Can I stroke him? Aah, lovely baby, he is my best friend.

Coo, little baby, my name is Verity and I love you very much.

He’s a very pretty baby isn’t he, Mummy? When I am older I am going to have a baby in my tummy and she will be called Christabel. When she comes out of my tummy I will feed her milk. I like babies.

New Dad, in wilts Global

10 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

The Bomber has retired to Yorkshire, to plot his revenge on Conehead for getting a new bike.

We’re looking for a replacement, so send your application to ed@bcttt.com.

SUPREME GRAND MASTER JODY

JODY

The BCTTT has a new Supreme Grand Master: Jody “The Beard” George. A West Country triathlon legend who has raced across the UK – Cowman and Outlaw in 2010 were undoubtedly the highlights.

Jody has big plans for the club in 2011.

Read on as Jody sets out his manifesto, the Club Awards, the Deputy SGM and how he feels about brunettes...

April 2011

Global

Dom nation 11 Magazine

SUPREME GRAND MASTER JODY

JODY’S 2011 BCTTT MANIFESTO • Membership to increase by 50%.

• All members to attend the club awards.

• Darren vomiting on YouTube for the world to see.

• Provide a beer for every member.

• Ensure that everyone achieves their distance – be it IM or SuperSprint.

• Appointment of Deputy SGM – for his sterling work on behalf of the BCTTT: Mick Wyldbore-Wood • BCTTT buggy race to be held at club awards.

• Club awards to be a “low cost – all welcome” event at the Club Relay Champs.

• All members to attend Challenge Henley and support the Lawses (or be at Tenby supporting the Sonofsammoes).

• 100% SGM tax to be applied to membership in order to fund a SC9.9 (to be custom painted in club colours!).

• Club training weekend in the West Country (you can all come to me!).

Global

12 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

SUPREME GRAND MASTER JODY

MEET THE SUPREME GRAND MASTER

How old are you (please)?!

31, but I feel like I’m getting on for 70.

Did you swim, bike or run previously?

Not very well. I did a bit of swimming in my early teens but nothing since. I’ve always been a bit of a cyclist but in a slow and recreational fashion from pub-topub way, rather than any racing.

Do you have any family?

Indeed, Peej (the WAT officer), Thomas and Jessica form the Somerset BCTTT support crew.

When and where was your first tri?

Langport Sprint Tri, Langport, Somerset, 13th September 2005.

Where are you?

We live out in the middle of the Somerset levels, halfway between Taunton and Glastonbury in a village called Othery. It’s a pretty flat area but you only need to go about four or five miles to find hills.

What has been your greatest triathlon moment to date?

I was about to say it was finishing the Outlaw, but actually I think it was probably when I came out of the water rather than across the line. I had DNF’d the swim at Wimbleball the year before, coming in in 63 minutes, so had worked quite a bit on my swimming. When I got to T1 at Outlaw, I’d swum twice as far in 69 minutes so was more than a little bit pleased with myself.

Let’s start with your name and any akas: Jody George – JoddyBear/Jods/The Beard/The Bearded One/Beardy.

How did you get into tri?

By accident. Pub conversation along the lines of; “There’s a triathlon in Langport. I quite fancy something like that for a laugh. What do you mean there’s no way I’d finish it? Right then!”

What does the family think of your triathlon exploits?

Well I’ve trained Thomas to say “Daddy’s an ironman. I’m proud of daddy.” Does that count? Not sure really, never asked them. Not sure I want to. They’re very supportive though so I assume that they approve.

April 2011

Global

Dom nation 13 Magazine

SUPREME GRAND MASTER JODY

What’s the daftest thing you’ve done in a race so far?

Probably when I started crying on the bike for no good reason whatsoever, or the time that I got a hundred yards out of T2 before I realised that I still had my helmet on and had to go back.

What is your motivation?

What’s that then?

What bike(s) do you have?

I have a Trek Portland called Gladys for commuting and leisure riding, a Boardman HT Comp mountain bike, and my race bike is a Kuota Kharma called Betsy. (And some nice carbon TT porn just arrived.... Ed) And your dream bike?

Heidi Klum, er, um, no I mean a BMC TT01. Any bike that costs $15,000 has got to be the stuff of dreams.

How often do you train, and do you follow a proper training plan?

Well, I supposedly cycle to work every day, but probably average three, or maybe four, days a week, and I wouldn’t really call that training. Probably one swim session, two running and two cycling sessions of actual training. As to a proper plan, I kind of make up my own and then ignore it religiously.

What HRM/GPS gadgets have you got?

I have a Garmin Edge 705 and a Forerunner 405cx and I think they’re both great. I only got the 705 when I realised that the battery in the 405 wouldn’t last long enough to

Global

14 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

complete an Iron distance event.

I probably don’t make the most of them though as all I really do is record the data, without bothering to analyse it at all. It all goes into Endomondomondomondomondo so I guess that helps.

Help a faller or run on by?

Help. How on earth am I supposed to finish last if I just run on past?

Treat other people how you would like for them to treat you. Unless I’m winning of course, but that’s not likely.

Any other kit you love?

I’ve got some Oakley Radar XL Blades that are awesome cycling glasses, and obviously I love all my club kit. My vote has to go to the RoadID bracelet though; nothing else can make both you and the family feel happier about the fact that you’re 50 miles away from home with all the pathetic drivers out there. Oh and I love my Van Nicholas carbon aero wheels; they’re the bomb!

Beer or no beer?

Definitely beer. You need something to wash all the Gatorade, Red Bull and Nuun down with.

Socks or no socks?

Olympic or shorter, no socks on the bike. For half-iron up socks all the way. I always wear socks for running.

Longer or faster?

What sort of questionnaire is this?!!!

Oh, I see. Well I’m never going to be fast but I can keep myself moving for a long time, sort of like a car ferry, so longer.

Blonde or brunette?

Redhead baby! Blondes and brunettes are soooooo last season.

Train alone or with others?

And let others hog my limelight – never! You race alone so it makes sense to train alone. That said there is a lot of motivation provided by training with others. I do a lot of cycling with my dad, just so I’ve got someone that I know is slower than me.

Anything else you’d like to tell us about?

No, you’ve taken up enough of my time already. Get out; get out I say...

■

BCTTT Club Championship

2011 NATIONAL CLUB RELAY CHAMPS NOTTINGHAM, 27–28TH AUGUST ORGANISED BY ONE STEP BEYOND

HOLME PIERREPONT, NEAR NOTTINGHAM. TEAMS OF RACING EACH DISCIPLINE IN RELAY (4x500m SWIM FOLLOWED BY 4x15km BIKE AND FINALLY, 4x5km RUN).

SATURDAY 27TH AUGUST WOMENS/MIXED TEAMS SUNDAY 28TH AUGUST GENTLEMANS TEAMS

PRESENTING THE WORSHIPFUL MEMBERSHIP OF THE BCTTT TEAM ENTRIES FOR THE NATIONAL CLUB REALYS.

MEET THE BCTTT-TEAMS

CIDER SWILLING EYE-CANDY SOUTHERN SHANDY DRINKING SOFTIES MIDLANDS CLUSTER-FLUMPS FEMME FATALE FLOUNDERERS SOUTHERN RIVIERA PLAYBOYS THE HILLFOLK HOBBITS TEAM BOY BUTTER HAGGIS HEROES LOONACHICKS LOST IN TRANSITION

April 2011

Global

Dom nation 15 Magazine

LOONACHICKS Featuring: Team Captain and well knocked-up: Christine “Speedy Gonzales” Scibby Cat “Faster than Andy” Butler Laura “Faster than JB” Clark Wile E Campbell-Smith Secret ability: Team of five including Scibbs’ babber.

Achilles heel: Distracted by shoes and pretty things.

Rivalry with: Lost in Transition – who are, like, totally uncool, yah?

SOUTHERN RIVIERA PLAYBOYS Starring: Team Captain and part-time fish: Bopomondo James “Jibby” Wilson Scotty “Pink power” Burrows Mark “MD6” Donnelly Secret ability: Swearing and looking knackered.

Achilles heel: Anything other than swimming, but particularly running.

Rivalry with: The Cider Swillers, who “eyed up” their bird in a Dorchester pub.

THE HILLFOLK HOBBITS Featuring: Team Captain and source of knowledge: Bungo Castle Bandobras Bullroarer Cameron Samwise “Chappers” Chapman Peregrine “Ginge” Carter Secret power: Organised, well prepared and meticulous planning. A ring.

Achilles heel: Still working out exact power and cadence to use after starting.

Orcs.

Rivalry with: The Haggis Heroes, because they worry they can climbs hills better.

Global

16 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

MEET THE BCTTT-TEAMS

TEAM BOY BUTTER Starring: Team Captain and founder Conehead Craig “Powerlegs” Miskin Chris “Far too young” Weeks Ewan “Far too fast” Mac Secret power: Speed and ability.

They probably do “training” as well, the cheating bastards.

Achilles heel: Probably broken.

Rivalry with: The Gods of triathlon, who will make them pay for their folly.

CIDER SWILLING EYE-CANDY Featuring: Team Captain and reigning SGM Jody Holder of MDiL ris David “Malteser” Galea David “Moff” Moffat Secret power: The awesome zoider.

Achilles heel: Ris’ dress sense.

Rivalry with: Riviera playboys, who once spilled their pint.

April 2011

Global

Dom nation 17 Magazine

MEET THE BCTTT-TEAMS FEMME FATALE FLOUNDERERS Starring: Team Captain and tireless friend of this mag: Sarah “Running Mad” Cath “Apnoea” Sweetnam Cate “Moonshine” Langley Cheryl “HubbuHubba” Weeks Secret ability: Sweet-talking the organisers into letting them run in a group.

Achilles heel: Have you tried to run in heels?

Have you?!

Rivalry with: Loonachicks, who once borrowed some blusher and didn’t give it back.

SOUTHERN SHANDY DRINKING SOFTIES Starring: Team Captain and campest pose: Ben “Willieverfinish” Laws James “Jellybaby” Heywood Ade “Tritans” Tansley Stu Crawford Secret ability: They know all the words and moves to YMCA. Achilles heel: They’ll be spectacularly late.

Rivalry with: The Cluster-Flumps, who have never even heard of Glyndebourne.

Global

18 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

HAGGIS HEROES Starring: Team Captain and most Northern: Angus McCoatUp S11 Toni MacAroni B99 Phil MacCavity Ben Doon Rigg Secret ability: Incredible hill climbing powers.

Achilles heel: If it’s sunny then they’ll be cooked to a crisp.

Rivalry with: See you, Hillfolk, Pal, Eh? Youse come here an’ say tha’!

MIDLANDS CLUSTER-FLUMPS Starring: Team Captain Ian “IanM” Mander Lee “Net genius” Williams Mick “Who the Daddy?” Wood Dale “Treesurgeon” Secret ability: They’ve done this before.

Achilles heel: They’re all pissed by 10am.

Rivalry with: The Southern Shandy Drinkers, for being a bunch of wet nancies who’ve no idea what hard graft is.

LOST IN TRANSITION Featuring: Team Captain and fresh 220 convert: BlinkyBaz Lorraine Lambert Andrew “Sonofsammo” Howden Bex Hallewell Secret ability: This mystery team are believed to have no weaknesses.

Achilles heel: Puns based on films – they also considered “Breakfast at Transitionies.”

Rivalry with: Femme Fatale Flounderers, who looked at them once and gave it all of that.

April 2011

Global

Dom nation 19 Magazine

What kind of delusion makes a 6-hour Sufferfest-fest seem like a good idea? The sort of delusion that collects £500 for Team Laws. Awesome work, Mr C.

A couple of photos from Conehead’s new winter protraining lifestyle. Oakley HQ and sunkissed beaches are certainly an improvement on freezing, potholed roads. Not that we’re jealous or anything!

Global

20 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

Specially designed Team Laws Jawbones from Oakley, a snip at £260. They’ll match your camp-asChristmas tri-suit perfectly!

Jack was on the prowl for a new bike when he came across this Willier beauty in Lampre racing colours. It’s a well-travelled machine, seeing as it, or a close relative, was propping up the Lampre stand in Munich in January.

Beyond both our budgets though!

April 2011

Global

Dom nation 21 Magazine

Meet the Member Mick Wyldbore-Wood Introducing Mick Wyldbore-Wood, aka Woody

Micks hard-core focus and intense mental preparations make him a fearsome opponent.

Global

22 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

And your dream bike?

I’m not too fussed about bikes, really!

So long as it does the job I’m happy (it’s probably because I know I’ll never have a Gucci bike so then I don’t think about it).

How often do you train, and do you follow a proper training plan?

I’d love to tell you that I do a regular, wellplanned, training plan, but I don’t! I fit things in and around my life and just set myself small targets to achieve.

Mick and Mermy, relaxing at the Club Awards.

Let’s start with your name and any akas.

Mick Wyldbore-Wood, or ‘Woody’.

How old are you (please)?!

37 (on the 8th April!)

Do you have any family?

Claire (wife, 33) Michael (son, 16) Amy (daughter, 12) Beth (daughter, 10) Bodhi (son, 2) and... BUMP! Three months incubation, making an introduction to the world in Sept 2011... you heard it here first, folks!

Where are you?

The beautiful Peak District, Derbyshire.

How did you get into tri?

I got a bike on the bike to work scheme after discovering I had reached 99kg! I was a fat mutha! I needed something to focus onto as I get bored easily, so I entered the East Leake Triathlon in 2010.

Did you swim, bike or run previously?

Absolutely not! I’d done a few three mile runs every time I realised how fat I was, but nothing serious – just half arsed attempts!

When and where was your first tri?

East Leake Sprint 2010.

What does the family think of your triathlon exploits?

Claire (Mermy) must like the idea of it as she’s now done a couple herself!

What has been your greatest triathlon moment to date?

Actually finishing the Barton Marina OD after a hard tour at work. Having been up all night the night before I still attempted my first OD. Bezeejus it was bloody hard work the whole way through! I wasn’t the fastest but just finishing proved a lot of mental strength for me.

What’s the daftest thing you’ve done in a race so far?

Not in a race but I think turning up on the wrong day to help marshal one of Chase Race events for Simon was particularly daft!

What is your motivation?

Erm...I dunno. Initially, it was to see if I could actually DO a triathlon but now I just seem to be continuing. There are a lot of “unique” races out there I’d love to have a crack at.

What bike(s) do you have?

Argon 18 Krypton with clip on tri bars, Shimano 105, Mavic Kysrium Elite wheels – all thanks to Mike the Bike.

What HRM/GPS gadgets have you got?

None really. I run Endomondo on my phone to log runs/rides but one day I’ll hopefully get myself a Garmin 310XT. Any other kit you love?

I’ve totally fallen in love with my Inov8 XTalon 212s: they’re so light and comfortable but just open up a lot more of the moors over a longer period of the year. I’m not adverse to running through bogs in a downpour!

Help a faller or run on by?

Help, all day long.

Beer or no beer?

Real Beer from a local brewery after a good day in the Peaks...priceless.

Socks or no socks?

Socks for me, not brave enough to try without.

Longer or faster?

A little from column A...a little from column B...

Blonde or brunette?

Blonde (Mermy is blonde... I could answer no other way!)

Train alone or with others?

Alone. I don’t have to worry about going too fast or slow etc.

Anything else you’d like to tell us about?

In the true spirit of the BCTTT I’ve just managed to blag a free entry to Antwerp 70.3 in July and plan to run it in the name of Beatrice, so I’ll work on arranging a fundraising site and we can all try and get Bea Mobile!

You can sponsor Mick in his Antwerpery at: www.justgiving.com/helpingbeatricegetmobile



April 2011

Global

Dom nation Magazine

23

competition w Question: Something aboutDanny MacAskill, his PIN number and how long he spends shopping for a new Answer: Something said by...

CHRIS WEEKS Winning a pair of Darren’s old Oakleys, and not the ones on the left.

Winning the bag(s) of mystery and wonder, and raising a shedload of cash for Team Laws.

JAMINHO

Global

24 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

winners

There’s been a little run on freebies at the BCTTT, with Conehead tidying his garage in exchange for arcane knowedge on Danny MacAskill and a tenner; and Ben offering prizes for the wittiest response to the pictures below.

Winning a pair of Pro-Lite Rovigo glasses with five interchangable, vented, lenses that are totally awesome.

“I want to be in the BCTTT, look what I can do.”

SFULLER Winning an as-yet unblagged item of awe and delight.

“Having narrowly avoided the boats in the swim, coming into T1 Dave delt that today was going to be a good one.””

JACK HUGHES

April 2011

Global

25 Dom nation 27 Magazine

HOODIES

BCTTT CLUB HOODY An order for these has just gone in, but if there is sufficient demand then Mick might be persuaded to undertake another clusterfilled request for kit.

Two colours are available: Grey with black logos and Black with white logos. £30, well they were last time. If we get enough interest then there might be another order.

Keep your eyes peeled for the hoodies at the Club Relay champs!

Global

26 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

IRONMAN ARIZONA 2010

SHADY CHARACTER The Miskinator chose to follow in the footsteps of our noble Founder, Conehead, and raced the sun-bleached shores of Florida to race it’s Ironman event*.

Of all the things he would be expecting, British weather wasn’t one of them. Here is his race report...

* Darren’s IMFL race report was in issue 3 of GD, for those with short memories.

April 2010

Global

Dom nation 13 Magazine

SHADY CHARACTER

Prelude In November 2009, an inspired Wannabetri, aka Craig Miskin, elected to follow in the wake, draft and footsteps of the one they call the former Supreme Grand Master and his name is Darren (that’s his real name in case you didn’t know). In a frenzied display of click-refreshing, the race entry and payment were complete and the journey to the 2nd IM in my career had begun!

Pre-Race To say that the season up to leaving for the shores of the US of A had been a successful one would be being the classic of all English traits – modesty. I’d had a pretty epic year and PB-ed through all distances bar one: the Half Ironman. The reason for that particular missing medal was due to a rather harrowing day at The Little Woody that ended in the medical tent by way of the finisher’s line.

I’d been training pretty consistently through the year, starting the season in good short distance condition and gradually building the base through July and August. I then got into long distance training and then race ready through September and October.

Global

28 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

The log book shows that I had done 355 training hours in the 43 weeks from 04 January to race day. An average of over 8 hours a week. The work and practice had been done and it was now approaching Race Day. I arrived, via Orlando and a lovely 6 hour drive in the pouring rain, at the race venue. I had expected bright blue sky, few clouds, sunshine and warmth. Here I was in my only jumper, raincoat, jeans and shoes in the pouring rain experiencing weather more akin to the British Isles than the Gulf coast in Florida.

The rain lasted from Tuesday through to Thursday morning and meant that I was imprisoned in the hotel room and not performing the taper I had planned. It’s the hotel room where The Fear had positioned himself.

Every part of my body ached and felt tired, knowing it was supposed to be exercising in prep for an Ironman.

You always have thoughts of having under-cooked your training, and I was beginning to think I had.

The weather cleared on Thursday morning and I seized on it – swimming with a group of 25 others out to some buoy markers.

It seemed a very long way and the chop wasn’t swim friendly, but I was glad to be out of the hotel room.

The afternoon was an hour bike to check the gears, wheels and to make sure I was ok with the disc wheel having ridden with it only twice. I’ll say a massive thanks to Mike The Bike at Bridgtown Bikes for lending me the disc wheel. It’s awesome and everyone should get one no matter how bad they might think they are.

On Friday I swam and ran first thing in the morning for 20 minutes each and then packed and racked. Rest, eat and sleep and then tomorrow – race!

IRONMAN FLORIDA 2010

The Plan Any race is only as good as it compares to your race goals. I had numerous but the ones you need to know are these: Swim: under 1hr 3 min.

Bike: under 5hrs 15min.

Finish.

Go sub 11hrs 50: The reason is that an old footballing friend did The Outlaw in 11hrs 58 and had been giving me abuse for too long about his time being better than my IMUK time of 12hrs 38.

My ideal race saw a finish close to 11 hours, with the perfect day being 10hrs 30mins.

Race Day Having slept pretty well, I prepped the bike ready to go. Nutrition, water bottles, nuun, inflated tyres and a little kiss as I wished it a cosy couple of hours as I readied myself for the water and the race start. Staying onsite literally on top of transition was a genius idea stolen from the Bald One. Life was easy and relaxed and it meant having to deal with one less stress. Everything was within a minute’s walk should I forget anything and I could chill out in my room before I went to the swim start.

I have a routine I like to do in preparation for races which includes listening to my iPod pre-race playlist.

I find it really gives me some mental focus and clarity. The music choices move the way the race goes in my head. Calmness, long slow and steady songs, into tempo tunes, into smooth soothing beats. It finishes with rousing numbers. I also run through the race in my head and go through goals and scenarios so that I prepare for every eventuality. I hope it works but I sure find it helps.

I left the room having wished a fond farewell to the travelling GAT officer, who had been an absolute star the whole year and excelled at keeping me sane in the few days up to the race in the US. The temperature was freezing and my feet were frozen within seconds of walking on the white sand. I walked into the holding pen, registered my race chip and stood out to the right. The pros were going off 15 minutes before the AGers so I wanted a decent view.

Opposite: Relaxed and ready to go.

Above: Craig with the Merida ready for race day.

April 2010

Global

Dom nation 29 Magazine

SHADY CHARACTER

I got to shore, stood up and promptly went a little light-headed.

I ran round the turn point to start lap two and across the mat. Done in 28:55: happy days. The second lap is slightly longer than the first as you swim diagonally across to the first buoy, where as on the first lap you swim straight to it. The focus on the second lap was to settle into a comfortable rhythm, draft where possible but come out of the water feeling strong for the bike.

The water wasn’t cold and a little paddle helped warm the body right through. The pros shot off and then it was time for the national anthem that was a patriotic smile-fest.

1 minute to go.

The hooter sounds and like seals of the world 2,499 wetsuit clad triathletes headed to the water, along with 1 non-wetsuit, speedo wearing, lardy hero. Always gotta love the hardcore!

The mass start is always good fun and I actually enjoy it to an extent, but not so much this time. The surf was pretty decent and breathing was a nightmare. Arms, legs, waves – all trying to disrupt your pattern. I kept out to the right with the aim of drifting into the buoys on the left by the time of the first turn. The course is a box shaped, 2-lap number with a short run on the shore in between.

The plan had been to swim hard for 600m to get out in front and find some quick feet. I ended up swimming hard to the first buoy at 800m and then decided to settle it down at that point. When I turned back into shore, I found I was leading a group of 5 swimmers and that I had nobody in front to really draft off.

Bah. Nevermind.

I followed this to a T, U and V! Long smooth swimming – controlled all the way. I exited the swim, up the sand and across the timing mat to complete the swim in 1:01:28. Job done.

T1 is normally a special place for me. I love to get a quick T1 in as I feel it sets you up nicely for the race. IM transition is about doing things right, though, which I proceeded to fail at miserably.

Following the mantra “Comfort is King”, I had bib shorts and a cycle jersey to wear for the bike leg. The bike jersey was already prepped with gels, bars and arm warmers in the pockets, as I had done for IMUK 2009. I put the jersey on as I pulled it out of the bag first, then had to take it off when I subsequently pulled out the bib shorts. Ah, yes, I am still a member of the BCTTT!

Top: Listening to the pre-race tunes in the hotel.

Left: The swim start was less like Florida and more like Formby.

Opposite: Craig’s Warp 5.

Global

12 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

IRONMAN FLORIDA 2010

Taking off the jersey, all my stash went over the floor. I got flustered, grabbed it all up and chucked it in the pockets. I put my socks and shoes on, grabbed my helmet. Ride time!

The start of the bike is along the coast road and at 8:07 a.m. it’s a windy and cold place. Having got going at 3km I decide it’s definitely cold enough to warrant arm warmers. I know this as everyone else has them on. Some have leg warmers on and others also appear to have a cycle jacket on, too.

When I look though, there are no arm warmers in the pocket. That sucks. The next 30km can only be described as a living hell. My hands are numb, and such is the lack of feeling my arms appear detached from my torso. My legs are turning over, but the wind is buffeting my body better than an American can buffet at a diner!

“The next 30km can only be described as a living hell. My hands are numb... my arms appear detached...”

I turn at 36km and suddenly the world is a much brighter and breezier place. The wind is behind me: this means my arms are sheltered and ooohhhh the bike computer is saying 42.1kph for a 135HR. Happy times. The target was 137BPM for the ride, but having taken 15km to get down from 156BPM in T1 I’m prepared to take it easy. Then the inevitable happens – what’s this on my shoulder? Oh, looky here, I have got myself a pack attached to my rear wheel. Ah yes, the infamous packs of IMFL.

To be fair to the race, it’s got to be a nightmare to police for the draft busters. A few hundred athletes all coming out of the swim together, and probably all capable of riding within 10 minutes of each other.

That’s a difficult thing to balance, but ultimately it sits with the athlete and I have to say while some are down-right cheaters, others get stuck in a pack but do some work.

I foolishly kept surging to try and break them apart, trying to take a few with me. This isn’t consistent cycling but it’s something I’m doing to myself anyway. I hit the third aid station at about 45km and stop and get off for my first pee stop.

As I come out two massive groups go by and I decide I’m not stopping again as at those speeds I’m losing big time.

I’m not even 35km into the bike and I am already thinking WTF?! I’m having thoughts that if I stay in the wind and cold like this for the rest of the ride, then I could be staring at a DNF. That’s the reality in my mind and I don’t feel scared of the thought, such is the sense it seems to make. My nutrition strategy has started; I can’t be bonking already, so therefore it must just make sense.

April 2010

Global

Dom nation 31 Magazine

SHADY CHARACTER

The bike is uneventful until 83km where you do a short out and back section to the halfway point and timing mat. The roads are generally in mint condition. The landscape is flat with a couple of short rollers.

The scenery is picturesque without being stunning. The 7km stretch to half way is, however, bumpy with road rivets every 5 metres.

You feel each one shatter through your body and the heat between the legs builds. My private areas are aching very badly and it feels like a hot knife is slicing them open.

It’s horrific, and I know it’s only going to get worse as I’m going to be turning around to come back – and this time into the wind. As I head to the turn I can see little groups of 3 or 4 athletes and I know they are chain-ganging it.

I’m distinctly on my own and I hate them. I hit the halfway turn at 2:29:43 and a sub 5-hour bike might be on.

Except it never is on! People need to know this and remember this as it’s fundamentally at the heart of the Ironman. The race does things to you; it lulls you in to false senses of security, making you believe things that you thought were impossible are possible. It suggests that there is always hope.

It then shows its real face: that hideous, laughing, bellowing, ugly face. The one that smacks you in the face so hard it’s like Chuck Norris has just knocked you into the time before time. The one that leaves you a broken mess of what used to be a human being.

45km into a headwind with rolling terrain and a straight-as-you-like road, where all that is in front of you is a speck of another athlete and the horizon that goes perilously on and on and on. The 45km from the halfway point is the most horrible biking experience I have ever suffered.

It’s at this point the nature of the bike course gets to me. Florida might be pancake flat but that doesn’t make it easy. There is no downhill, no opportunity to freewheel. There’s no chance to get out of the saddle – nothing but the aerobars, moving legs and the constant grind on the saddle. It kills you, eats you up and then spits you out again, and then offers to have another go.

By the time I’m 130km into the bike I know that I have roughly 1 ½ hours to go and I just want to get off the bike. At IMUK I loved the bike course and never had this thought. This is supposed to be an “easy” course and I hate my bike more than I hate the calorific content of Krispy Kremes. I descend further into my mess, but as before as I turn for home the wind moves from face to bum. I am moving

Top: The Merida again.

Left: Powered by the ‘bull.

Opposite page: Craig exiting the run.

Global

32 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

IRONMAN FLORIDA 2010

again and all is soon rosy. Thank you the turn at 135km; my God how I needed you!

I am once again on top of the big gear grinding out a steady cadence.

HR is looking sweet at 140, having allowed a little cardiac drift given my mental state. The speed is in numbers I never thought I’d see again and for the next 17km I am flying. There is another little out and back section at this point to get the race distance right. It’s annoying and I didn’t welcome it as it meant turning back into the wind, but it’s through a forest and pretty nice to look at. As I cross a timing mat I can see that the 5-hour bike is gone and that I have slowed.

The return to T2 is pretty uneventful.

I ease up 5kms from the end and get passed by about 10 or so people.

There are no longer any packs.

During my hell up to 135km an athlete drafted me for a couple of minutes but got busted and had to spend 4 minutes in the penalty tent.

Brilliant!

“...up to 135km an athlete drafted me for a couple of minutes and got busted!”

Coming off the bike into T2 isn’t the joyous moment I expected it to be.

I instantly knew my legs were beat up and I felt like a rookie doing my first ever brick session – the run was going to be interesting. I complete a near full strip, leaving only the tri-shorts on, then kit up in my run gear. Calf guards, new white 2XU vest that feels like a milk bath on a cold winter’s day, and my Adizero race runners. These trainers have recently been reviewed in Triathlete Europe with the comment something akin to:

But, like Ben, I love a challenge and the opportunity of success, and so a salute of the non-friendly persuasion involving a couple of finger digits! I’ll show them.

The first two miles of the run are hideous. My legs are heavier than a contestant at the start of The Biggest Loser (great American programme!).

I stick to my nutrition plan: water at every aid station to sip and cool me while alternating between a Coke or gels. The idea is to continue this until I fatigue or get sick of it, and then just go lucky dip.

I’m fortunate in that once I am out running and settled my tummy can take pretty much everything.

The legs start to feel good after passing mile 3. The HR is 142, which is where I want to be at so I settle into race pace and trying to run 9:10/miles.

“Not the shoes to be using for a marathon unless you are as light as the man who endorses them and holds the marathon world record: none other than Haile!”

I’m probably as far removed from him as Ben Laws is from sense when he jumps at any race and bet that comes his way.

April 2010

Global

Dom nation 33 Magazine

SHADY CHARACTER

settled into a comfortable pace and now couldn’t get out of it. The turnaround point had hundreds of people by it and having seen Ruth at the swim exit, bike exit and run exit I was looking forward to seeing her again, except I didn’t.

Now, you may or may not know this already depending on whether you followed me on the forum or on the Ironman live website, but I actually ran the first 6 miles in 51:58 at 8:39/mile pace. It took me 10 days to figure out how that was possible but, now I know, it makes me laugh.

Every time I got to a mile marker I noted the current time and added 9 minutes to that then made the additional adjustment of 10 seconds to know when I should be at the next mile marker. If I was marginally up on the time then I would bank it for later provided I kept to my HR limit. If I was massively ahead of schedule, then I would ease it off a bit.

around 9:00/mile but had I known I had been running 8:40/mile, I’d definitely have backed it off. I only realised something was wrong when I crossed the mat over 8 minutes ahead of schedule. The idea being to just hold 1 hour for 6.5 miles to bring it home in 4 hours.

The funny part is that instead of adding 10 seconds to the time as well, I was actually taking it off – setting myself the target of 8:50/mile. I was okay with running

I got to the halfway marker in 2 hours 8 and had known I’d hit it around this time since mile 11, but had been unable to ratchet the tempo back up to turn closer to 2 hours. I had

Global

34 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

The return to transition and the halfway point was hard. I consciously knew I had time in the bank so elected to back things off to try and keep my options to a top finish in play. I knew if I ran 4 hours I would achieve my perfect day race time.

Like I mentioned earlier, the IM likes to suggest you can do things that you actually can’t.

She hadn’t realised the run turnaround didn’t go all the way back to transition so had waited there for me. She only realised I was on the second lap having texted my Mum, who was following at home, that she hadn’t seen me for ages and was worried as I should have been past. Bless her.

This “snub”actually kicked me on a little and I felt a little anger and aggrieved by it. I suddenly felt back on track and moving along nicely.

At about mile 16 things began to unravel again, although not as suddenly as had happened at IMUK at the exact same point.

“I only realised something was wrong when I crossed the mat over 8 minutes ahead of schedule. ”

IRONMAN FLORIDA 2010

The first thing I noticed was the heat – I suddenly felt like I was cooking in the sun. I was sweating ridiculously and my feet were burning like a hot coal fire had been put in my insoles. A blister began to grow on my right little toe. Then my glutes began to ache and feel tight.

By mile 18 I’m in a little park you go round – it’s just barren, exposed land on the out section of the loop and it’s just too much. I know I’ve got over a mile to the next aid station and I am dead on my feet.

I decide right here to walk to the next aid station and then give it another shot. I turn at 19 miles having run 10:04/mile.

It’s here that I start crunching numbers in my head. I know that if I manage 12:00/miles, I’m going to come in under 11 hours with a bit of breathing space. I can even hold 12:30/mile and still make 11 hours.

That’s my sole focus. I know I’m not capable of holding near 10:00/mile so the dream perfect day will have to wait. I reach the aid station, grab a cup of cookies and munch. It’s like heaven – the best call I’ve made all day. I drink some water, pour some over me and set off.

Into... a walk.

Erm, yeah. My legs are done.

I try to run and resemble an antelope in full leg casts. My muscles have seized up. Everything is tight and my heart rate is in the pits. My heart is beating so slow it’s like I’ve done no exercise all day, but yet running feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I am at one with the wall: I am a part of its very fabric. I am its foundations – I’ve not hit it, I’ve merged with it.

The next 5 miles go something like this: run to the lamppost, walk to that bump in the road, run to that car, walk till that tree, run to that sign.

I’d lost the mental capacity to simply run. I had to have a visible goal, right there in front of me. I had to drag myself emotionally to run even that far. The walks were heaven and brisk.

I swear I was walking quicker than I was running a few times.

I kept an eye on the clock but knew time was slipping away from me.

The sub 11 hours was fading. It was at the 24-mile marker when things changed. Knowing I had 2 miles to go and 16 minutes to do them in for sub 11 hours meant I knew the game was up. I then realised that while an Ironman is about survival, it’s also about enjoyment. I realised that I hadn’t actually taken any time to really take in the race, and have fun during this experience. I mean, I was in America doing an Ironmanbranded race. The biggest and best thing going.

Opposite: Craig on the marathon.

This page: After the finish, and after the beers have kicked in.

April 2010

Global

Dom nation 35 Magazine

SHADY CHARACTER

These thoughts suddenly came to mind: The exhibition was freaking awesome and the kit was immensely impressive. I even felt compelled to buy some stash: a hoodie and LS t-shirt. The buzz, friendliness and energy of the people there were amazing.

thank all those out supporting and cheering. I’ve never heard my name mis-pronounced so much but every time over those final stages it was funny: like my name was actually Creg! I couldn’t help but smile. I even got “That’s not my name” by the Ting Tings in my head.

Then a moment of genius, stupidity, fun, call it what you want; at the final The bike aid stations had been aid station – the chick party again beautifully organised. Each one went: – their other halves had joined in. water, Gatorade perform, gels, bars, sitting alongside the road cheering water, Gatorade perform. That order, and drinking. I was offered a bottle five or six people for each option. of beer, I think in jest. I took it and Nine aid stations, which meant at necked half of it right there, said least 200 people helping! thanks and ran off with it. 400m later it was finished.

The run aid stations were just sublime, and I’m sure Darren would I turned and could see the crowds agree. Aid station one: Chick party! lined up as the finish loomed. By now Old dears dressed in clothing their it was beginning to get dark and the daughters and granddaughters would wear if they wanted a bit of action, playing loud music and taking turns to dance in the street.

Another aid station was fancy dress with knights and princesses. They’d even built four castle turrets and pretend open gates! A clown aid station with the sounds of the fun fair playing and full costumes.

Just brilliant.

I vowed to take the last two miles as a chance to enjoy this race, to celebrate my achievement and

Global

36 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

lights showed the route to the finish.

There was a girl maybe 20 metres ahead, and being the boy that I am I had to beat her. So I dropped the hammer and opened the legs up.

They responded like I hadn’t done a single mile and I flew down the finishing chute and then I heard it as I walked across the finish line and timing mat: “Craig Miskin from Aylesbury, you are an Ironman”. Worth it a million times over!

What’s next? I told a couple of spectators that they should never think about doing one of these. I told my girlfriend after I finished that I would never do another again.

I thought I was speaking the truth.

I then started thinking that I’m definitely not doing one in 2011.

I’ll just take a year off the long stuff as the time and commitment is too much every year. I’ll just enjoy the moment, do some shorter stuff and see what happens.

And then three weeks later I changed my mind and signed up for IMAZ on the back of a cheeky text from a bald, fat, idiot!

Name

Craig Miskin

Swim

01:01:28

Cycle

05:09:04

Run

04:41:37

Total Time

11:04:54

Rank

449

Div pos

32

BCTTT VITAL STATISTICS Each issue we draw some stats from the club membership, or reveal the results of a poll vote among the masses. This time we asked: Should the male club-members shave their legs, and do we use positive or negative attitude as motivation?

1

2

3

4 WHAT DO YOU USE FOR MOTIVATION? 1 2 3 4

POSITIVITY NEGATIVITY BOTH OTHER

SHAVED LEGS? 1 2 3 4

I AM A MAN AND I PROUDLY SHAVE MY LEGS I AM A MAN AND I GO “AU NATUREL” I AM A WOMAN AND I THINK MEN SHOULD SHAVE THEIR LEGS I AM A WOMAN AND I THINK MEN SHOULD STAY HAIRY

1

2

3 April 2011

4 Global

Dom nation 37 Magazine

Ian M

WE’VE ALL GO sfuller

Global

38 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

shadowone1

OT NEW BIKES chris dearing

April 2011

Global Dom nation 39 Magazine

andyb Spring is here, summer is on its way, and it seems the BCTTT massive have hit the shops and stocked up on bike. When I say shops, I obviously mean shop, as there is pretty much only one place we seem to end up when it comes to trashing the credit card on cycles – BTown.

Here are a few of the steeds that will carry their delighted owners to mid-table success (anything higher and it’s ninja-time, so don’t get carried away). I know there are a few more shiny new bikes out there, so apologies to anyone I’ve missed.

It also means there are plenty of bikes for us to be introduced to in future issues, so their owners had better get writing!

catb

Global

40 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

sonofsammo

WE’VE ALL GOT NEW BIKES andyc

April 2011

Global Dom nation 41 Magazine

ben laws

WE’VE ALL GO tritans

Global

42 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

apnoea

OT NEW BIKES dr jibby

April 2011

Global Dom nation 43 Magazine

ALISTAIR'S SWIM

Alistair Brownlee. 2009 World Champion. Otley Reservoir, U

Global

Dom nation March 2010 Magazine

MMING FASTER.

.K. 6.02am. Training faster in a Helix.

www.blueseventy.com

THE WORLD IS SWIMMING FASTER IN BLUESEVENTY.

Global

March 2010 Dom nation Magazine

carbondiculous CARBON FIBER GEAR CHOPSTICKS From $150

Each issue we try and bring you information on the thing we covet most and the products that are made out of it – carbon. Being the BCTTT though, it’s carbondiculous!

Triathletes are famed for their ability to demolish a buffet like locusts going through a field of wheat, but how many of us merge our love of food with our love of carbon?

Now, you can always be close to your favourite black plastic friend while reducing the “All you can Eat for £15” at Wong’s Diner to a crumbless wreckage, and for only $150. Made from solid carbon fibre, these beauties will get the sushi to your waiting face faster than ever before.

Wine isn’t often on a triathlete’s shopping list – we’re all too pure of mind and body to be hitting the vino. But, when a special occasion demands it (birthday, anniversary, Tuesday) then we shouldn’t scrimp on storage for that precious bottle of Black Tower.

This wine rack brings all the things we associate with carbon into the winosphere – streamlined efficiency, elegant lines, and a worrying sense of fragility. You’ll notice the wine accelerating more freely, and absorbing any of that alcohol “buzz” that alu racks leave behind.

It isn’t compatible with purist French wine, though, which while organic and slowmatured will reject any materials more recent than 1795.

Global

46 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

CARBON FIBRE WINE RACK From $250

Your clubmates will be green with envy! They are also dishwasher and oven safe (up to 400oC).

Speculation has been rife as to what Conehead’s new bike was going to be. Opinion was divided – only 58% of the membership thought it was going to be a Trek Speed Concept 9.9. So what is it?

Read on to find out.

LIGHTPSYCHO

April 2011

Global Dom nation 47 Magazine

In what has to be the most unsurprising thing to happen since night following day, my new race bike for 2011 is a...

Trek Speed Concept 9.9 It’s equipped with 2011 Dura Ace, the reason being the Di2 is ordered and on its way – so until then Shimano have very kindly equipped it with Dura Ace to “tidy me over”. Di2 is like hens teeth right now, but I should have it by the time Wildflower comes around in April. Whilst it may have been obvious to everyone what I was getting, the road to this point has not been.

Global

48 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

I first saw the Speed Concept in Hawaii in 2009, a full 12 months before it was released to the general public. I was no stranger to Trek and had previously raced on a TTX; however, the Orbea Ordu caught my eye and as with all things triathlon it was how it looked that swayed me. I was happy with the Ordu, the infamous Black Bomber; you didn’t see many of them in transition and they were a refreshing change from the sea of Cervelos. Then I saw the Speed Concept – it was not love at first sight.

The thing that struck me about

the Trek was the level of “design”.

It had clearly been conceived and born in the wind tunnel. As I pointed out to a Trek sponsored friend, it “had the shit designed out of it”. If a Ridley Dean is a Ferrari, then a Speed Concept is an Audi R8. You know what I mean. In any case I wasn’t tripping over myself to Mike to order one as you might expect. I was reluctant – there was something about the Trek I didn’t like and I couldn’t put my finger on it.

I then entered the well trodden path of an age grouper with some epic procrastination:

LIGHTCYCLE 1.0

VITAL STATISTICS

Trek Speed Concept 9 series frame Bontrager Speed Concept specfic base bar and extensions Fi’z’k Arione tri saddle Shimano Dura Ace 7900 53/39 chain set Shimano Dura Ace 7900 rear mech Shimano Dura Ace 7900 chain Shimano Dura Ace bar end shifters and brake levers Shimano Dura Ace pedals American Classic disc with tub and Dura Ace 11/21 cassette American classic 60mm deep section front (both with Speedconcept specific aero titanium skewers) RRP £8,000 ish

changing my mind on an almost weekly basis throughout 2009.

Then in May 2010 I had another close encounter with the bike, at the Tour Of California TT stage in Los Angeles. This was a good thing as I not only got to be cms away from the Speed Concept, but every manufacturer’s 2011 TT bike (despite it being over 6 months away). It was carbon TT porn on an unimaginable scale.

It was almost too much to take in. The attention to detail on these bikes was beautiful, and no picture in any magazine can do them justice.

Returning to the UK would

involve a cursory “have you made your mind up” from Mike, eliciting the usual yes/no response from me. Seeing Mike’s sister’s Speed Concept and a shop built Di2 equipped one didn’t persuade me as you’d expect – I’d already seen all I needed to see. Even Shadow’s Trek SC7 didn’t persuade me.

Something extra was needed to change my mind, then in September 2010 I bagged myself a 2011 Trek Madone 6.

Riding the newly named Hornet revealed it was as smooth as butter. It was a dream to ride and the detail on it,

including the stock paint job, was fantastic. Treks do have a tendency to suffer with paint chips and cracks, it’s what they do, but I loved the detail on the Madone. Stuff like the internal bike sensors – no more zip tying stuff to a £5,000 bike. Makes perfect sense.

I’ve ridden a lot of expensive bikes for extended periods of time, so I’m lucky to have reference points. Go on any forum asking if you should buy a P4 and you’ll have a resounding “yes” from lots of people who have never seen a P4 let alone ridden one.

April 2011

Global Dom nation 49 Magazine

5.

Spending an hour with a major Trek dealer in the US as well as talking to some more Trek supported riders, the tide was beginning to turn in my head.

It was the Madone that brought the change of heart – I realised that while the Trek Speed Concept may have had “the shit designed out of it”, it was built for one purpose and one purpose only: to go fast.

Telling Mike this, he sealed the deal in my head, saying “the Speed Concept is the future”. I

Global

50 Dom nation Magazine

April 2011

now started looking at those details: the internal brakes, Kamtail technology, internal sensors and the draft box. A detail for one market – the triathlete. The more I looked at those details, the more the wind tunnel data and blurb from Trek looked less like marketing hype and more like a compelling argument. Those details and data are something akin to porn for Jack Hughes or Dr Jibbenstein, and of course Trek are only going to show positive results – but they’re compelling and go well beyond the usual

marketing hype. I believe it’s a genuine effort to move TT bike design forward, with an unashamed focus towards the triathlon market.

Stats and technology aside, the seemingly fluffy details are appealing. The obvious “why hasn’t anyone else done this” draft box – an aero way to store all the shit you need in a triathlon.

No more hanging, taping and sticking stuff to a bike that costs £1,000’s. Equally the bike computer and sensor are all concealed within the chain stay,

1.

2.

4.

3.

meaning no ugly sensor tied to the fork and/or chainstay on your carbon pride – a totally obvious thing but starkly missing from other bikes. The paint job, and seemingly never ending options in Project One, are of an exceptional standard, which no magazine pic can do justice.

The pics explained:

So the deal was sealed and the order placed over Christmas, then 2nd week of Jan 2011 a box arrived in Southern California containing a Trek Speed Concept 9 series frame ready to build.

2.

Draft Box. Not the 10m sq area we have to try and stay out of in races, but a nifty piece of kit that comes as standard on the 9.9. Why hang all the bits off the bike you need when it can be tucked away in an aero box, complete with a nice bag to keep those bits warm?

1.

Duotrap sensor.

Integrated into the chainstay, it’s modular and can be fitted to any Trek.

It doubles-up as a cadence sensor, and on the inside of the chainstay the wheel sensor can be seen. An obvious solution, with a nice touch – a green light flashes to let you know it’s working when the cadence or wheel sensor passes.

3.

Front and Rear Brakes.

Both are tucked away out of the air flow. The front brake sits behind a cowl (removable for access to the front brake).

4.

Skewers.

Speed Concept specific and as such even they get the aero treatment, tucking away behind the fork and chainstay.

5.

Bontrager Base Bar. Like so many things on this bike, the base bar is bespoke for the Speed Concept, and just in case you forget, it has “SC” on it to remind you and everyone else.

April 2011

Global Dom nation 51 Magazine

Global

www.bcttt.com

Dom nation Magazine

ISSUE 8 JULY-ish 2011 CLUB-CHAMPS RIVALS TRASH-TALK!

2

Global

March 2010 Dom nation Magazine