chaos! (2019/2020)

chaos! the first issue

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chaos! the first issue: for all who have inspired me to dream big and do more.

I have wanted to design such a publication for a while now. Perhaps I have reasoned with myself to believe that this personal project could be delayed – at least until I had acquired enough knowledge to think critically, and to design functionally and aesthetically. I was constrained by time – balancing between being a full-time student and doing these side projects of mine.

This first issue of chaos! took several months to be curated and edited, yet the process of it – from its ideation to its production – has taken years. Thus, this first issue is an accumulation of thought, an acknowledgment of inner ambition, and an appreciation for all that I love.

Wild out passionnés, Keep it real and alive.

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contents 1. a sydney home 6 - 10 2. environmental awareness: yet another megatrend 11 - 19 3. of the big 2 20 4. age: a convenient excuse 21 - 29 5. to two that gave me life 30 - 31

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4

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a sydney home I descended down the stairs this morning and saw how the daylight streamed through the house. It shed a glow on the creams and browns - its golden streaks still visible against its counterpart of similar shade.

I decided then: I was going to experience this house.

I paced myself steadily towards the main door, where I have entered into this house the first night. I started counting down in my head, “3, 2, 1, turn!”

I spinned around, and I am greeted with an elongated series of steps up to the second floor. Their ash grey colour was heavy with the height of their rise, and it contrasted the light cream colour of the flat walls.

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They stood behind an arc with Greek Corinthian ends, running alongside British Georgian railings and raised themselves above modern wood-laminate floors. They wanted attention, and they got them.

How ironic it was, that it wasn’t the ornamental elements of the entrance that stole the show, but the sheer weight of the seemingly monotonous steps?

I walked further into the house - past the common living area on my left. I told myself I would go back, because I would need more time in there, and I was on a trajectory forward - neither left or right.

I situated myself at the foot of the stairwell, and watched. I watched the light dance in the dining area - on the timber-coloured floor that was its stage; on the dining table for those fortunate enough to climb a little higher; on the chairs that were a little harder to balance on; and on the curtains and walls that embraced the window.

For the most part, they were still, but when the clouds ran past above, they started their performance down here, andante. I enjoyed it.

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I walked further into the house - this time past the dining area on my left again, and stopped in front of the kitchen. It seemed that only a double door cabinet spoke to me - everything else minded their own business. This same cabinet hid an enclosed porch further behind. Yet the latter was given the spotlight - almost literally, by the sunlight filtering through the backdoor and white-framed windows.

I want to get there.

Despite its silence in the day, the kitchen held signs of those once there before.

In the sink, water droplets still rest wholly on their seats - spoons, forks, bowls and mugs. They were recent visitors, which meant that someone had invited them less than an hour before. On the microwave, half a loaf of rye bread recently consumed; on top of the refrigerator, a granola box recently opened; on the counter, towels recently moistened. “I really want some rye now.�

I had a sandwich for lunch. Well, on the next day.

Close enough!

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I fell in love with the porch the moment I passed that cab- Yet the porch was most inviting in its inet. Just as how the kitchen revealed a living, so did this function - a place of passion. Passion for interior design; passion for reading; porch. passion for fine art. It was, in itself, a A magazine flipped to a set of pages about art - about a passion for passions. piece of work on the left, about a gallery’s events on the right; one chair more distant from the edges of the table I made my way back to the living area compared to its peers; groceries on the floor with vapour which I passed at the beginning. This room was soft - for the most part, becondensed on the interior of a bag of apples. cause of that inviting peacock green velvet sofa.

This room was calm - because of the harmony of blues and greens, and the neutrality of cream, black and brown.

The visible grate, hearth, and fire box were painted black, encapsulated within a decorative surround and mantel piece, drawing it closer to that of cast iron fireplaces in‌ oh! The British Victorian Era! Again! I see, so this house was indeed designed for devotees of the Architectural Revival.

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I glanced at my watch - about time I left. Where is my bag, anyway? I ascended the stairs, up to the third floor. At the top, I saw purity - the sky-blue and white, with speckles of nature’s green; the verticality and linearity, with objects arranged sensibly. I saw purity - all was within reach of light.

There was this slight disarray within the house, There wasn’t much that was purposefully conyet such mild clutter made me feel at peace. trolled. They showed an admission to a way of life - some say its frailty and a lack of discipline, some It was as if it was a reflection of an internal state say its character and that of a creative and unreof mind - a human condition of sorts. The pil- strained mind. Yet I choose to think that this made lows misaligned on the sofa, the chair unpushed it feel like a home - not a house. It felt authentic. It in its position relative to the table, the groceries felt real. left in the bag, the shoes turned over at the main entrance…

Welcome, to one of Sydney’s homes.

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environmental awareness: yet another megatrend

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I

felt my eyes do yet another roll, “These try-hard, self-proclaimed environmentalists with their pretentious containers and metal straws. What did Facebook and Instagram tell them this time? Dolphins can now safely and successfully swim in a straight line, without obstruction, because there is no longer a bunch of plastic straws increasing their direct and peripheral blind spots? Fantastic! Hooray humanity!”

It was that day when I walked the streets of the Central Business District (CBD) in Tanjong Pagar. It was lunchtime, and I could tell who were the true devoted workaholics: they donned their office attire with a common black, white, blue or other dark-coloured theme (is colour that vehemently rejected in the office?); they hung their lanyards around their necks like a fashion statement (do they not get in the way when they eat?); they walked fast (do It all started with that one thought. Not they train for this?). about the dolphins – although admittedly, if I were a dolphin, I would appreciate They also carry containers. clearer paths. I would also, greatly, appreciate a cleaner lung and stomach. That aside, I felt out of place for a couple of reasons. it was the thought about environmental I am nineteen. I am unemployed. I am awareness, and the rise of it. These days, wearing a white-yellow-orange-pink-redit is almost impossible to live a day without indigo-blue vertically striped blouse, on a coming across an article or a comment weekday. I have a pair of purple and white about the climate crisis – and yes, we polymer clay earrings hooked onto my ears, which were bigger than fifty-cent coins. I should not go a day without it. am walking (relatively) slowly at a peak lunch period.

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At this point in time, I am going to admit – I do not recall a time when I was intensely up-to-date with the state of the environment. However, having gone through almost sixteen years of formal education, it would be disgraceful not to know the least of the state that the world was in. I am not referring to merely our environmental situation, but also our social and political climates. No pun intended. I have studied the statistics, the causes and effects, the measures and the opinions on this fiasco. I was well informed. Right?

Wrong.

That was the problem – “the state that the world was in”. After I sat back down in front of my computer with more than five tabs opened up the environment, in hopes of understanding the odd behaviour of carrying containers, a wave of shame came over me. It hit me that my knowledge on the environment – especially – has been subpar. I have been ignorant, and I was rather passive in my actions and outlook on environmental affairs.

Granted, this ignorance was never externally induced – there are always people actively informed and campaigning for environmental changes. Yet I was trying to figure out: What held me back?

Perhaps it’s the idea that environmental awareness is a trend alongside those of pop culture – bubble teas, Tik Tok videos, fixing broken household items with uncooked instant noodles… Did you know we set a world record for liking an Instagram post of an egg? An egg. Kylie Jenner, who?

Perhaps I was nested in the thought of the ridiculousness of modern minds, and I have let myself neglected issues that were truly important.

Sorry, Mother Earth, I have not listened to you.

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2 . 5 metres

Dear Singapore, that2 would mean a possible maximum of 40-45 degrees Celsius ! What a time to have a des(s)ert!

3 to 5 degrees

According to the World Meteorological Organisation (WMO)1, the 20 warmest years on record have been in the past 22 years, with 2015-2018 marked as the top four. It predicts that if this trend continues, temperatures may rise by 3 to 5 degrees Celsius by 2100.

The global ocean waterline has risen up to 15 to 20 centimetres3 since the 1900, with the shedding and melting of the Earth’s two ice sheets as the main drivers 4of sea-level rise. Sea level rises are likely to reach 67cm by 2100 . This rise in sea levels will5 see coastal cities disappear underwater. They include Jakarta , Shanghai, Bangkok and Miami. This even includes Venice, Italy, which is known to many as “La Serenissima” or “The Floating City”, which we all hope, can keep up to its own name.

In an extreme scenario, seas could rise by as much as 2.5 metres (8 feet)6.

Dear Singapore, that would mean a height taller than your tallest family member! A free pass to an uncontained sea aquarium too! At your doorstep! For a lifetime!

Dear Singapore, that would mean beating Sir James Dyson in acquiring the “biggest, highest and possibly most expensive super penthouse9” at Wallich Residence in Tanjong Pagar – multiplied by 22 thousand.

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$2 .2 trillion

In 2010, the United Nations reported that7 the world’s 3,000 biggest companies cause a $2.2 trillion of environmental damage – that was 2010, what about now? I have my reservations about putting a price on nature, as with Monbiot8. Yet for the sake of practicality and rationality, this statistic could not be ignored.

Here’s a thought that may have crossed your mind, “How are all these statistics relevant to the use of just one disposable container to take away my food? How am I going to ‘save the world’ substituting just this one single container? Let me live!”

To that, I will not leave my own justifications. I will borrow the words of others10, for the simple reason that they are better versed in the subject matter than I am. But here is a two-word summary: single-use plastics.

This brings me back to the reality of our environmental degradation.

Perhaps this subject matter has always been at the back of our minds, and it has not been an issue that we have considered consciously. Perhaps that is the reason that our environment has been declining at an alarming rate, and the way we have been ill-treating the environment becomes more apparent. Yet I cannot deny that the notion to protect the environment has detonated because of this “rational irrationalism” in the current generation. Let me explain.

“Rational” refers to the idea that we recognise environmental degradation as a problem and understand the severity of it. We adopt measures to attempt to alleviate it. This occurs on an individual, national and global level. For the sake of my own opinion – it is why this essay exists in the first place, I will speak from the perspective of the individual. There is no doubt that we see a surging trend of reusable products such as metal straws, containers, bottles and tote bags, and the market for these supposedly eco-friendly products has been growing. Many of these companies seem to support a cause that tackles varying environmental movements, and we contribute by giving in to their missions and visions – as a form of charity.

We see a problem. We see organisations trying to solve the problem. We give money to these organisations trying to solve the problem. We spend.

We have provided financial support. We help in the way we know best. We have given our support. It makes logical sense.

What an irony.

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While I applaud you for your attempts to support the economy of e-commerce (referring to environmental-commerce), let me ask you a couple of simple questions. Do you know, exactly, why you are doing this? Do you know why you carrying a metal straw, a container, bamboo cutlery and a tote bag? Do you truly know how you are helping the environment?

Are you helping, really?

Or have you once strut around with them, showing your peers that you are well aware of our crisis – and your own social existence? Have you once held proudly on to them, thinking that you have fulfilled one duty to protect this Earth – and your own ego? Have you once felt that you were doing good, placing these items as labels for empathy – and your own moral consciousness?

Have you followed yet another megatrend?

Have you been “irrational”?

Here is a reality check: the truth is that the required energy and resources to produce your metal straw, container, cutlery and bag are more than what is needed to produce their plastic counterparts.

What is the point then, in using these reusable items?

That is the point. They are supposed to be reusable – not just once, or twice, but for the rest of your days living. The point of acquiring these reusable items is to cultivate a habit of using them. The costs would only truly break even when you have gathered the will to use it more than the times needed to make you feel good. The environmental plus will only be incurred after a large number of uses. For example, to lower the global warming potential than single-use plastics, cotton bags should be used more than 130 times – that surmounts to 18 weeks, if we assume you go grocery shopping every day11.

If you are currently holding onto those reusable products, the term “zero-waste” should be familiar to you. The idea of nurturing new habits and being open to change should be even more so. But let me ask you again: Do you truly know how you are helping the environment?

Are you helping, really?

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The starting point of writing this article was not to relay my sappy opinions on how I arrived at this sudden activism, which is yet to be tested by time.

Rather, I have written because I wanted to ask – What is stopping you?

I am not going to tell you how to live your life. You may be one of those people who have decided that they are going to devote yourself to this cause – and that’s good for you, and the environment, of course. You may be one of the people who are still sceptical about the cause or perhaps still mildly reluctant to the idea of change, but try anyway – and that’s good, we all need our time. You may be one of those people who will still take a plastic straw for your cup of bubble tea, use plastic bags for their weekly groceries and buy a bottled drink once in a while because they forgot to bring their own bottle – that’s acceptable, norms are difficult to change, but I believe you will come around eventually.

You may be one of those who choose to believe that they can do nothing to alleviate climate change; who take two plastic bags for their one bottle of soda; who order a portion more of food to merely sample a mouth or two; who scorn at others’ apprehension and efforts to change. Or you may be one of those who have acquired a few metal straws, containers, bamboo cutlery and cotton tote bags, which all currently sit in their cupboard after they have arrived at the state of achieved novelty. Just as I mentioned before, I am not going to tell you how to live your life.

Yet can I boldly suggest, for you to sign up for swimming lessons and learn every possible stroke there is?

They will come in handy – or fin-ly – when you’re a fully submerged dolphin at sea. Besides, isn’t the under(water) world your best place of living?

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References 1

McGrath, M. (2018). Climate Change: Last four years are ‘world’s hottest’.

Retrieved October 1, 2019, from https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-46374141.

2

Teh, C. (2019). Singapore experienced eighth warmest year in 2018, December was second hottest year end in history.

Retrieved October 1, 2019, from https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/environment/ singapore-experienced-eighth-warmest-year-in-2018-december-was-second-hottest.

3

United Nations. (n.d.) Climate Change.

Retrieved October 1, 2019, from https://www.un.org/en/sections/issues-depth/climate-change/.

4

Harvey, F. (2019). Greenland’s ice sheet melting seven times faster than in 1990s.

Retrieved October 1, 2019, from https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2019/ dec/10/greenland-ice-sheet-melting-seven-times-faster-than-in-1990s.

5

Mei Lin, M. & Hidayat R. (2018). Jakarta, the fastest-sinking city in the world.

Retrieved October 1, 2019, from https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-44636934 6

National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (U.S. Department of Commerce).

(2017). Global and Regional Sea Level Rise Scenarios for the United States.

Retrieved October 1, 2019, from https://tidesandcurrents.noaa.gov/publications/

techrpt83_Global_and_Regional_SLR_Scenarios_for_the_US_final.pdf 7

Jowit, J. (2010). World’s top firms cause $2.2tn of environmental damage, report estimates.

Retrieved October 1, 2019, from https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2010/

feb/18/worlds-top-firms-environmental-damage 8

Monbiot, G. (2018). The UK government wants to put a price on nature – but that will destroy it.

Retrieved October 1, 2019, from https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/

may/15/price-natural-world-destruction-natural-capital 9

Leong, G. (2019). Billionaire inventor James Dyson buys Singapore’s biggest penthouse at Wallich Residence.

Retrieved October 1, 2019, from https://www.straitstimes.com/business/billionaire-inven-

tor-james-dyson-bags-singapores-wallich-residence-super-penthouse 10

Laville, S. (2019). Single-use plastics a serious climate change hazard, study warns.

Retrieved October 1, 2019, from https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2019/ may/15/single-use-plastics-a-serious-climate-change-hazard-study-warns.

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Thornton, T. (2018). Plastic bag ban: Here’s how many times you actually need to reuse your shopping bags.

Retrieved October 1, 2019, from https://www.smartcompany.com.au/industries/retail/

plastic-bag-ban-how-many-times-need-reuse-shopping-bags/

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“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.”

John Muir (1838 - 1914)

“John of the Mountains” Naturalist, conservationist, author, and environmental philosopher

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a poem

of the big 2 you get closer to the 2 i hope amidst dissent and drudgery you, to love and be loved for, by, and with the nature and all that it carries within you get closer to the 2 wandering still, generations before had been youth is the warrant for folly they laugh, you’re up next child it’s like dressing up, a clown! you get closer to the 2 plant your two feet whereabouts, sometime and stand tall, firm, fearless, empowered yet open your heart and mind and evolve with humility and grace you get closer to the 2 they say, oh, it’s a Prime so your dreams inflate, defies gravity yearn more, strive more, more, more, least, not forget what was once less

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you get closer to the 2 racehorse with blinkers, my father describes ignorant to what’s rear and side only you, fastest, first, best, now look around, what have you’d left? you get closer to the 2 you see truth and its opposite all of which, perception is due but let that not bring cold Iris, it still blooms in summer you get closer to the 2 you’ve ploughed through 0s and 1s harvested their fruits sour and sweet spat out the seeds reckoned bitter but they’ll soon sprout this season you get closer to the 2 there is still a series ahead 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, that’s an average, by the way robust will soon trade for wisdom now they say, 2s are small its value insignificant to what’s 8 but go on, play “big deuce” 2 beats 8 - so i’d say, we loons, children, bet on them!

age: a convenient excuse

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T

here is an old saying, that “there is a time for everything” – or at least, that was what my mother said to me as she dragged me past the big kids at the playground.

I was, then, still in primary school, and had the life-long intention of climbing to its top and proclaim myself as “Queen of Yew Tee”.

Come on, we were once all kids and had a dream.

As a start, I would like to make a disclaimer that I am not religious – or rather, I do not devote myself to a single religion, to worship any single God. On the contrary, I believe in the teachings of many religions, and that they are guides to which we conduct ourselves in our way of living. I hope this does not offend anyone; it is an opinion.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, However, I would like to share with you a verse a time to weep and a time to laugh, from the New International Version (NIV) of a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather the Bible: them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

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Growing up, I have been told that things will fall in the right place at the right time, regardless of our valiant attempts to assert control. I have never once challenged that statement, simply because it sounded logical, and that it was widely agreed.

Yet we are here – myself having completed this article, and you reading it – because I have come to question it.

There are two reasons why I have started to question this statement.

Firstly, as an intrinsic query - that I am at an age when “pursuit” and “waiting” are two notions I am starting to strike a balance with. This has become a necessity for me, for I realised that growth can occur both actively and passively. The other came as a coincidence, when a friend and I conversed about this subject when we were taking a public bus, and I have now decided to revisit this conversation - essay style!

When I was younger, I have devoted to this notion because I felt “There is a time for myself that “my time would come” - the time to study, the time to do well, everything.” the time to get a job, the time to I felt that “my time settle down... - and play was my utmost priority. I mean, as children, will come”. that was a common state of mind, anyway.

Who didn’t want to leave the folded pages of homework undone to run around and play “ice and water” with friends, or to sit in front of the television to watch Spongebob Squarepants at the 6pm hour, or to chase the birds and butterflies at the neighbourhood gardens? I did though, all of them, literally.

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Perhaps it was this recycled line that convinced me that I would meet with opportunities at the right time, and I just had to make the right choices to lead me to the right path. In other words, as I played as a child and eventually entered into my teenage years, I took the back seat and went with the flow. Do not be mistaken, I never had regrets, and I genuinely enjoyed my youth - it was one heaven of a ride!

Yet as I looked back on my childhood, particularly those stages of youth, I started to ask myself whether I would have been in a different place or would have become a different person, if I had been in greater pursuit of what I wanted. Nearing twenty, I felt (and still feel) rather lost. I did not know what I wanted to do with my future; I did not know where my true interests lay; I did not understand myself and others, in both the good and bad times; I did not know what it meant to have purely righteous conduct.

There was an array of subjects I did not understand. Thus I have sought to find answers in books of Western philosophy, but that is a story for another time.

The point here, is that I started to question my consistent state of passiveness. The “what ifs” started to kick in, and at the heart of all these, was the central question:

“If I had not given myself the excuse that I was still young, had taken more time to thoroughly consider what I wanted to do with my life and who I wanted to be, and conciously made decisions to lead me to these goals, would I have felt this same sense of disorientation?”

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Once in a while, I would sit and reflect upon this question over and over again. In reality, thinking about this question does not lead me to any concrete conclusion - I could not turn back on life and can only move forward. Perhaps you question, in this case, why bother with such lines of thought knowing that it’s going to be cyclical in my mind?

Well, because recognising the pros and cons of this notion has led me to understand and (more importantly) accept this idea that was in my past and still in my present, although their meanings have slightly differed. the pro(s)

the con(s)

1. I was carefree. I had the freedom of being a rover, of doing things without consideration of consequences, of youth being my shield for moments of error.

“She is still young,” they all say.

I believed it.

1. Perhaps the one and only con, is that I have sat in to become a passive learner and/or grower, as I have mentioned earlier. I have remained rather silent in my pursuits.

I thought, “There is a time for everything. My time will come. I 2. I had fun. I enjoyed the thrill am still young. I will grow up. I of taking risks, the boldness in will think for myself soon.” loud and boisterous speech, the excitement from challenging and rebelling.

“She will grow up,” they all say.

I believed it.

3. I was calm. I was always at peace with where I was, I went with the flow, I skipped and hopped my way through childhood without worry except for homework. Homework was a worry.

“She will think for herself soon,” they all say. I believed it.

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You see, eventually I came to terms with it - even though I used age as an excuse when I was younger, there isn’t much to regret about having that mentality. I was happy and I had a good childhood.

Getting from then to where I am now, is a natural process of growing up.

It wasn’t this mentality that I was dissatisfied about, but it was the idea of uncertainty that I am starting to identify and brood over. I was reaching the age of having a consciousness, to acknowledge that I am fearful of uncertainty. Because of this unpredictability of life, I would only want to - at the very least - be the most certain about what I wanted to do and who I wanted to become. As I enter twenty, I want to be in more control of my life, like many of us do. Therefore, in this process of making decisions, I asked myself,

“Could I continue to use age as a reasoning for my actions? Am I too young for this? Am I too old for that?”

The answer is yes, and no.

I hear many people, “You are only twenty? That is so young!”

What follows after is typically a “I am so old compared to you”, or a “I am so jealous of your youth”, the latter often coupled with eyes of marvel when we devour fried foods and sweets with less health repercussions… Apologies associates, let’s keep to “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”! I will bring a salad tomorrow! I promise!

Being young means that we are energetic; we are driven; we take risks; we learn fast. It seems almost dutiful to put ourselves in situations that push us to grow exponentially, to test ourselves in times of extreme difficulty, and to find and leverage on our sources of achievement and success. Yet since I have had my fair share of (almost moronic) risk-taking, here is what I’ve taken away from those times of (close) idiocy: Throwing oneself into the deep end, without even knowing how to walk, that is folly, not courage.

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“We are young.

We are old.”

Bravery is not a character brewed from irrationality, but honed by making difficult decisions that we don’t necessarily want. To our impatient youths (myself included), this can also mean waiting. As defined, waiting, refers to “the action of staying where one is, or delaying action until a particular time or event”. I am encouraging the latter.

I do believe that there is a time for everything. But I do not believe in remaining stationary in growth. The goals you have set in mind and the items you want to check off your bucket list, we will get there. But, wait it out, particularly those most significant. They require more from you.

There is a difference between “waiting” and “waiting purposefully”.

Waiting with purpose is not about being stagnant, but about preparation - preparation for a robust wellbeing, a nurturing and open heart, a critical yet flexible mind, and a sturdy and vivid sense of self. It is about working hard. Change is constant, and so I would like to think the same of growth.

Growing your wings strong, that requires time. Be willing to give yourself that. In the words of a friend, “Trust the process.”

Dream big and be curious, like children. We are young. See value in sagacity and pragmatism. We are old.

Let me write in a personal recount:

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There was a time when I was queuing to pay for a selection of breads at a local chain bakery – it rhymes with “MadWalk”. It was after-work hours, which meant that the line snaked around the store, and the single elliptical-walkway was not very wide to begin with. Thereafter came this elderly lady in her 70s, who was rather strong for her age. She made her way through the aisle, where the queue already existed, pushing a grocery trolley bag on one side, and holding the tray and tongs in her hands to grab the buns she wanted.

But as she made her way through the aisle, she shoved and elbowed those who were in that line – and yes, that included myself. Alongside the other workaholics, we stared at her in dismay and hidden horror, but were silent despite our agitation.

“She’s old. I should respect that. She’s been through more.”

She made these irritated “tsk” and “ugh” sounds when someone was “in her way”, and grumbled a line of dialect when their motion to move aside was slow and slightly clueless. Eventually, we all caught up to her bitterness, and implicitly decided to move our line a step to the right, just to get out of her way. Talk about a united nation!

Yet in my head I couldn’t help but break into a fit of laughter.

“How ironic it is, that these well-dressed individuals who are working arduously and tirelessly almost every single day - to pay the taxes that fund her for a longer life - were only receiving ill-treatment, when they could genuinely do with some gratitude and grace?” It was as if I could hear them cry, “Somebody please! Take her off that Package!

Long(er) live courtesy!”

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The point of this recount was not to criticize that lady whom we encounter from time to time. Let me point out – even from our own experiences – that such characters are not exclusive to those of this age and gender. However, I wanted to make clear of one thing:

Age should not be the sole and loose reason for our choices.

Old age is not a reason for gauche and despair, and youth is not a reason for irrationality and folly. Old age is not a reason for idleness and submission, and youth is not a reason for inadequacy and immaturity.

Therefore, whilst we consider those quarter, mid and late life crises, it is important to practise mindfulness and to understand that while our growing brains and developing worldviews are akin to our age, we should be extracting the principled qualities at every stage, instead of taking advantage of others’ preconceptions and understanding of why we act the way we do. Do not give in to Ageism.

At my age, I believe that it takes a character to be adventurous and valiant in all audacities, but it takes another to be humble and patient in growth. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and we must learn to walk before we can run.

At the ages of adulthood and the golden years, I am not there (yet) to succinctly describe what it will be like. Yet I am certain, that it is about being young at heart and mind, and about harnessing and distributing these pearls of wisdom to the crowds of admiring young.

Hence, can I suggest, for you and I alike or different, to grow old with grace, and live while we’re young?

At least, then, I can ‘tweet’ about it, “Hey you! YOLO! GTG ATB TTYL AFK!”

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to two that gave me life

i

think, as i grow up, sometimes i forget about the two people who gave me a life, and a Life. sometimes i forget about how they were the first two people who believed in me, but also the first two to bluntly criticise; the first two who advised and reasoned with me about the way, but also the first two to grant me the freedom to “live once”; the first two who gave me hugs and made me laugh, but also the first two who pulled me by my ear and made me cry. it all seems so extreme when i write them as dichotomies, but that’s just it, isn’t it? being a parent means being in constant dilemmas, and figuring out when to draw the lines, and trying your best to feel settled with any decision you and/or your child makes. these two, have given me a Life, because of how much they have done for me. this all sounds cliché, if i say so myself, but it is a matter of fact. it was about catering to what i needed - i say “needed”, not always what i “wanted”. one could argue that what is “needed” by an individual to grow is ultimately relative - besides food, water and shelter of course - and that is precisely why parenting is yet again so hard. it is difficult to make decisions that may displease a child; difficult to reason with a child as to why you may have done certain things and directed them in a certain manner; difficult to choose between watching a child experience a path you’ve once tirelessly trudged through, or pulling him back and sitting him at the back of your truck, driving him through this once beaten path.

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they have given me a Life, because they strived to find a balance between the two. however, i’d say, largely the former, yet not unreasonably, and also because i am still (often) a mule with stubbornness as a food staple, which makes me a little tougher to advise (oops). growing up, i had a good childhood: i ate many packets of jam-filled marshmallows; i watched (accumulatively) days of television; i ran, skipped and hopped around the playground every single day. yes, i also did my homework. they have given me a Life, thus far, because they could bring themselves to let me be free and to be me, and to be alongside me to converse and to bolster, all these when need be.

i think, as i grow up, we start to realise that we don’t necessarily have the same ideals, philosophies and hopes on what Life is/shall be. i’m not going to deny that we had our fair share of squawks and squabbles. we argued countless times about what is right and wrong; we had clashes because of our intricacies, whether it was our habits, thoughts or characters; we had our tiffs and given cold shoulders to one another when the communication and “understanding” of one another have failed us - yet i can’t deny neither, that we ultimately grew up in the same household: an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. you see, we all get over things eventually, simply because we know - fundamentally - that we are getting to agree, to also disagree. we live and love with that. so as i look forward to Life, i wish to turn back and remember the two who gave me that Life, a duo who brought me to eat hot cakes at McDonald’s every weekend, even though they really wanted chee cheong fun and some bread and paus (they still love their chee cheong fun and bread and paus!). so finally, here’s to a family who grew through changes, and embracing many more to come. i love you, Ma and Dad.

“everything happens for a reason,” we say, but on top of that, “we will stick through the muck. we will enjoy the ride.”

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“The wild nature carries the bundles for healing; she carries everything a woman needs to be and know. She carries the medicine for all things. She carries stories and dreams and words and songs and signs and symbols. She is both vehicle and destination.”

“Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype” (1922) Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés

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