Man up? Sure, let me ask for help

I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life. That’s not an easy thing to admit, especially publicly. But mental health awareness isn’t what it used to be, thankfully. The stigma has been largely diminished. So, in honor of guys pushing off asking for help or pretending we’ll do it tomorrow, I’m offering a belated note for Men’s Health Month and Men’s Mental Health Month, both in June. Yes, June’s just about over, but as my mom and wife often say, if you want to hear about the plan, ask a man. If you want it done, ask a woman.

I grew up with a core group of friends, and as we aged, we got better at talking to one another about things that were bothering us. We made plenty of jokes, and helped each other through tragedy and defeat.

At a friend’s wedding earlier this month, I was reminded, by being with my old friends, that even though we’re a bit grayer and see one another less and less, our friendships remain strong. We retold inside jokes, bragged about our kids, and laughed all night.

These are men and women I’ve known for 40 years or more. We grew up together, and shared the same experiences as kids in the same hometown. We celebrated one another’s successes and commiserated about one another’s failures as we navigated adolescence and then early adulthood.

But even with my closest friends, I have never completely surrendered my male ego and asked for help, or explained a mental health problem. Sure, I’d say that I was struggling or hurting, and they would help me. Those cathartic admissions were helpful, but not regenerative.

My oldest son, now a 26-year-old police officer, told me that he recently sought mental health help through his job. He said he had felt apprehensive on a few recent patrol calls.

That’s never happened. He’s always been a tough dude — we took him to the emergency room twice in one day for different injuries when he was 9. He likened his recent unease to a case of the yips — a baseball player’s sudden and inexplicable inability to make routine throws accurately.

I was relieved to hear he had the fortitude to seek professional help. Several friends on the job told him they regular-