BACK TO SCHOOL 2-CENTRAL

August 23, 2018

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At Comprehensive Audiology, we are committed to providing excellent care for adults and children with hearing loss, taking the time to understand and educate each of our patients, and ensuring each patient’s satisfaction.

Communication is the foundation of any healthy, loving relationship, including with your children. Try some techniques to kick-start a conversation and spark a deeper one about things that matter to you.

How was your day?

Creating conversation with your kids

By DiAnne Crown

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The easy flow of conversation and discovery between parents and their young children invariably seems to stop early in elementary school. Why? Preschoolers and kindergartners find it difficult to remember the details and summarize a day's experiences. Older children may want to turn off school and think about something else, be too tired to talk or be upset about something they think will upset you. And youths are not only looking for the boundaries between what's theirs and what's yours; they may be even more concerned that you'll judge, overreact or take over their concern or need.

Here's how to get the conversation started — and keep it going.

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Build A Routine For those fortunate enough to have it, an opportune talk time is immediately after school at pickup, when the events of the day are freshest. Or even on the way to or from CLUB PILATES OCEANSIDEOCeanside their outside of school activities. Start as early Club Pilates as preschool or kindergarten.

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"Did you and Lucy play together at recess today?" could branch into their successes or problems on the playground that day, any new students in class and so on. Pay attention to CLUB PILATES OCEANSIDE teacher websites, homework, backpack items, 3197 Long Beach Road | Oceanside, NY 11572 | (516) 280-1515 oceanside@clubpilates.com | CLUBPILATES.COM/OCEANSIDE sporting events and what other parents are talking about at school. And build on prior days' conversations, perhaps asking, "What's new with your group mythology project?"

Starting with specific known topics is more productive than the open-ended "How was your day?"

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Take An Active Role In Getting Ready For School Make lunch together, and talk about the day ahead. Keep a communication board on the

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refrigerator or by the back door, and run through the checklist of homework, permission slips, gym clothes and game schedules together.

This will build your children's sense of routine and readiness and provide good topics for table talk later.

Play Together Do what your children like, whether it's a favorite video game, ball toss, board game or funny YouTube video. Fun experiences build memories, keep you connected, open the door for conversations on other topics and often become perennial favorites as your children grow up.

Give Your Full Attention Listening and being present are important elements of communication. In an article by Claire Gagne on the Today's Parent website, therapist and author Jennifer Kolari says: "When you're really connected, your body is leaning in and your phone is down. You'll find that if you do a really good job in those moments, they will come to you for the hard stuff."

If you ignore or brush off your children when they're rattling on about the latest video game or a guest speaker who came into the classroom that day, Kolari says, you're losing an opportunity to show you are a good listener.

Utilize Car Rides Occasionally, talking side by side behind the windshield can be easier for teens than talking eye to eye. Listen to music; share stories of the day; and talk about any topics of interest or concern.

Make sure these are two-way conversations, not one-way interrogations, says Gagne.

This way, you'll get much more value out of your daily commute.

Table Talk Family meals together offer precious faceto-face time to keep current on news and schedules, laugh and talk, and make plans.

This is also prime time to share beloved and quirky stories about your immediate and extended family. Some families share one good thing and one bad thing from the day.

Mix up the conversation with different starters; pick up a stack of Would You Rather...? For Kids cards or TableTopics boxed idea cards for families. Look up "If you could..." imagination topics and many others on websites like Six Sisters' Stuff and The Family Dinner Project. n

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BALDWIN HERALD — August 23, 2018

Be supportive, not critical. No matter what your child is interested in, remember that your job as a parent is to be supportive. Whether it’s in the classroom or outside, guide your child to expand their interests and abilities, not to transform him or her into a child prodigy or the next sports superstar.

When to push your children And how to know if you're pushing too hard

By Katherine Martinelli

We all want what’s best for our children. But our idea of what is best for them might not always jibe with theirs.

Often parents will give a nudge towards the decision they think is correct, trying to find that delicate balance between encouraging and pushing too hard.

But what is pushing too hard? At its best, getting kids to do things that are challenging for them will teach them grit and flexibility while also widening their world view — whether it’s participating in sports, trying out for a play or engaging in a new social situation. But at its worst, pushing children too far can cause them to retreat inward, become resentful or develop even greater anxiety about trying new things. It can be difficult to determine how much parental pressure on children is healthy and when you should back off.

Why we push “I think that pushing our kids is a matter of getting them out of their comfort zone, and then pushing the zone to be further and further out,” says Dr. Harold S. Koplewicz, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and the founding president of the Child Mind Institute. “We know that being able to tolerate discomfort is a wonderful life trait, and in addition to that, it makes them grittier and more resilient.”

What we push kids to do depends on our judgment of what’s in their best interest, Dr. Koplewicz notes. “That could include pushing them while they’re in school to study harder, to do better academically. And we push them to try new things that we think will enrich their lives and make them feel good.” We might also push children to do things in the hopes that it will give them a competitive advantage on future college applications and scholarships Dr. Janine Domingues, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, adds that encouraging kids to power through a tough situation can bolster their confidence.

“I think it gives them a sense of confidence to know that Publisher StuaRt RIChneR

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if there is a challenging moment, as a parent you’re helping them to problem solve it through as opposed to completely removing it or taking the problem away,” Dr. Domingues explains. “A child really does feel accomplished and good about the fact that they were able to get through it.”

Know your child The most important factor in knowing when and how much to push is thinking about your child’s personality.

“The first step is knowing your kiddo,” says Dr. Domingues.

Particularly when it comes to pushing them to do extracurricular activities, consider your child’s strengths and interests, and have them be part of the conversation about what might be fun to do outside of school.

Perhaps you think they play too many video games and want them to be more socially engaged or physically active. “But if they’re not into sports, then pushing them into team sports may not be the best thing,” advises Dr. Domingues.

Other activities — like a coding club or cooking class — may be more appealing while still hitting some of the marks you are looking for in an activity.\ If you are meeting resistance, then it might be time to examine your own motivations for pushing your kid in a certain direction, says Dr. Koplewicz. “Are we encouraging or pushing our kids because it’s in their best interest, or is it something we’re doing for our selves?”

Often our own childhood experi ences greatly impact how we parent.

“I think most parents want their kids to avoid the mistakes they made,” Dr. Koplewicz reflects. So if a parent thinks they would have been more successful if only they’d done better in school or participated in a sports, chances are they will push their kids in that direction.

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Heading Back To School is an advertising supplement to the Herald Community Newspapers.

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Look for a tutor/tutoring center that you and your child can build a relationship with. A great tutor will be able to assess your child's strengths and areas of opportunity by getting to know them and design a tutoring plan based on those qualities.

Extra hElp:

Learning doesn’t stop when the dismissal bell rings Tutors can fill educational gaps

It’s time to get those morning routines back in gear again — attending parent-teacher conferences, going to school plays, taking your child to soccer practice, etc.

But that’s not all that it means! With the start of a new school year, your child is advancing another grade level and, you know, their classes are going to become more demanding and difficult.

When children take on larger workloads, it’s not uncommon for their grades to begin declining and for them to become stressed — time management is a tricky thing to learn. Many parents decide it’s time to seek out a tutor to help keep their students on track.

Tutoring is an investment in your child, so work with your child in order to get the best possible result.

Pitch and persuade. Before searching for a tutor, discuss it with your child to get his buy in. Keep the conversation positive: “You know how reading is kind of hard sometimes? We are going to find someone who can help you.” Most students don’t like to struggle, so if your child is aware that there is a problem, he may be more likely to want help. Even so, expect apprehension and offer encouragement.

Consider priorities. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to tutoring. It depends on your child’s needs, setting, convenience and cost.

Studies show that more frequent tutoring sessions yield greater results. When it comes to cost, bear in mind that one-on-one tutoring may be more costly than group sessions, and in-home tutoring more expensive than traveling to a center.

Get recommendations. Begin your search by asking your child’s teacher, principal, guidance counselor or others within the school community. Graduate students with strong content knowledge may be a good option, too.

Equally important is experience and teaching style. Ask if the tutor has taught children of similar age and learning style as your child. Likewise, consider personality and attitude. Is the tutor patient, upbeat and encouraging? Is he congenial with children?

Time it right. Although extracurricular activities and parents’ work schedules often dominate the clock, try to be flexible so tutoring sessions are held at a time when your child is most open to learning.

Some students need a 30- to 40-minute break after school. But if you give other kids that same down time, it will be a battle to get them to start working.

Know what timing works best for your child and adjust your schedule accordingly. n

BACK TO SCHOOL

Religious School for Special Needs Children

DireCTOry

Friedberg JCC

15 Neil Court Oceanside, New York 11572

The Hebrew word SULAM means “ladder”. Just as a ladder enables a person to reach heights that he or she could not reach alone, the SULAM-LI program enables school-age Jewish children with special needs to reach new heights in their Jewish education.

Meeting Sunday mornings from 10 am until 12 noon • Highly trained, caring educators • Individualized Instruction • Experiential, Multi-Sensory Learning • Bar/Bat Mitzvah Assistance

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SULAM-LI is a collaboration of: Congregation B’nai Sholom-Beth David, Congregation Sons of Israel, Hewlett-East Rockaway Jewish Centre, Temple Am Echad-The South Shore Reform Congregation, Temple Beth-El of Cedarhurst, Temple Hillel, Temple Israel of Lawrence; in cooperation with the Friedberg JCC, with support from NCJW-Peninsula Division.

The initial funding for SULAM-LI was provided by the Caring Commission of UJA Federation of NY. SULAM-LI is a section 501 C3 non-profit organization and does not require synagogue affiliation.

SULAM-LI does not discriminate on basis of race, color, nationality or ethnic origin.

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Hewlett east rockaway Jewish Centre Nursery School Going to school for the first time is one of the most important milestones in a child's life. At the Hewlett East Rockaway Jewish Centre Nursery School we create a happy, healthy, environment where 2, 3 and 4 year olds can grow emotionally, cognitively and physically. With a full time art teacher on staff, a state of the art science facility, and an enriched music program, we offer a diversified program with a Jewish dimension. The air-conditioned preschool classrooms, gymnasium and two outdoor programs with extensions for sports activities feature state of the art equipment. Toddler Time classes for children 10-21 months are also available. Our outdoor, nature based classroom give s our students the opportunity to explore their natural environment in a most unique and creative way and our new mulit-media library/ parenting center Fundations and Frog Street Learning Curriculum for the 3's and 4's provides engaging and interactive learning meeting all the common core standards.

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Special needs Jewish students need a safe and nurturing environment in which they can learn about their traditions and grow as Jews. But often, it can be a difficult task for parents to find just the right fit. For many Jewish families in the Five Towns, Nassau and Queens over the last 14 years, SULAM- LI has been the answer to their prayers. Meeting at the JCC in Oceanside on Sunday mornings, SULAM-LI strives to strike the perfect balance between serving individual learning needs, and creating a warm, inclusive community for students, staff, volunteers, and family members. During a series of carefully structured learning activities, the students are exposed to prayer, Hebrew, holidays, and culture. Crafts, cooking, music and movement help to bring the curriculum to each student in a memorable way. Our goal is to help each Jewish child climb a bit higher on the ladder of Jewish learning year after year. For more information, contact Libby Adler at 516 474-1500.

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Key To My Heart Key to My Art opened in Amityville in 2015, and has just opened a brand new 2nd studio in East Rockaway!

The studio is owned by a New York State Certified art teacher who believes that anyone can create art if they want to. We teach your child how to work with different materials and mediums, while using a variety of techniques and styles. Your child will learn to give critiques and look at the work of their peers, as well as expand on their skills. Our classes will encourage your child to develop and foster their love for art making in a positive environment. We split our classes into age groups so that your child will be among peers their age. We currently have classes for Preschoolers, School Age 6-9, Tweens 10-13 and High School 13-18.In the summer, we offer creative, fun art themed camps for children in two sessions: 5-7 year olds and 8+ year olds! Key to My Art is also a great place to hold a party, fundraiser or group event. We have studio space available for private paint sessions, and we can also come to your home or venue!

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Li Swim At Long Island Swim School children are taught their strokes correctly the first time. The small group environment makes learning to swim safe, easy, and fun. Long Island Swim School, has built upon the established training program of our elite swimmers with a broader educational approach. Teaching and coaching over 2500 children each week throughout the New York area, our swim programs have evolved to meet the needs of swimmers at every level, from beginner to the aspiring collegiate athlete or Olympian. Our learning sequences are geared towards small logical progressions that allow the whole stroke to be developed. Children learn the safety skills they need by learning to swim correctly. We work on developing real swimming strokes, as opposed to developing a false sense of security derived by under water swimming and dog paddling that ultimately may interfere with learning real swimming. It is through this skill based quality instruction that Long Island Swim School students develop a joy for learning and a passion for swimming. With over 35 years of swim instruction expertise, Founder Dave Ferris and his coaching partner Ginny Nussbaum are recognized as two of the top swim coaches in the nation and oversee all of our swim programs.

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When a lot is

BALDWIN HERALD — August 23, 2018

too much Childhood stress and extracurricular activities

Now that the languid late summer days have yielded to the frenetic school year schedule, it’s a good time for parents to step back and make a careful assessment of whether or not their children are trying to do too much.

“After-school activities like sports, clubs, dance lessons and volunteering provide important enrichment opportunities for schoolchildren, but too much participation without enough downtime, or participating for the wrong reasons could lead to unhealthy levels of stress,” says family medicine physician Dr. Jennifer Caudle, an associate professor at Rowan University School of Osteopathic Medicine.

“Trying to ‘fit in’ socially or trying to please parents or improve their chances of getting into college can be strong motivators that cause kids to sign up for too many activities or ones they don’t really enjoy.”

According to the results of a “Stress in America” survey published by the American Psychological Association, children and their parents view school-related stress much differently.

Dr. Caudle notes that the survey found that 44 percent of children surveyed said they

were worried about doing well in school, but only about one-third of parents thought this was an issue for their kids. And, while just five percent of parents felt their teenage children were worried about getting a good job or getting into college, 29 percent of teens reported feeling stress from this concern.

“Most parents want what’s best for their children and want them to experience all the good things the world has to offer,” Dr. Caudle says. “But, parents also need to be aware that their children may not have the same ability adults have to cope with the kinds of stress over-scheduling can cause.”

According to Dr. Caudle, signs of stress can include headache, stomach pains or fatigue, missing school assignments, mood or behavior changes, weight gain or weight loss, and changes in sleep. In younger children, new habits like thumb sucking or hair twirling can also occur.

While some argue that overscheduling is not necessarily a problem, Dr. Caudle feels that overscheduling can be a cause of stress for some children. The beginning of the school year is the perfect time for parents to talk to their children about their activities.

Getting your kids involved in extracurriculars can be enriching, but sometimes taking on too much can make them stressed or unhappy. The resulting anxiety and pressure can outweigh the benefits of their after-school activities.

“Involve your children in the decision-making process about activities and remind them to choose an activity because they enjoy it, not because they think it’s what you want them to do or might help them get into college,” Dr. Caudle says.

She also advises the following tips to help prevent overscheduling: √ Make sure your child has plenty of “down-

time” and time for rest. √ Monitor your child for signs and symptoms of stress. √ Be flexible. Understand that your child’s interests — and, thus, activities — may change over time. √ Talk to your child about how they are feeling and listen to their feedback. n

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Hewlett-East Rockaway Jewish Centre Nursery School Cheryl Karp, Early Childhood Director, 516.599.1169 CongregationEtz EtzChaim Chaim••295 295Main MainSt., St.,East EastRockaway, Rockaway,NY NY11518 11518 Congregation AndrewWarmflash, Warmflash,Rabbi Rabbi• • David Sislen, Hazzan ••516.599.2634 CONNECT...

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When to push your children

Still leading the way!

Continued from page S-3

Alternately, if parents have great memories of something from their youth they may try to push their kids to do the same thing, whether it’s join the track team or write for the school newspaper. But as Dr. Domingues warns, “I always tell parents the things that motivate us might not necessarily motivate them.”

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When kids push back When kids don’t respond to gentle pressure, it’s important to consider what might be standing in their way. Is there some reason why your child isn’t engaging academically or socially? Is something inhibiting your kid’s ability to adapt or try new things?

“Sometimes when pushing kids you bump into a real limitation. It can be an anxiety disorder, or a learning disability,” explains Dr. Koplewicz.

“There’s a real barrier there. It’s not that they don’t want to do it. They would love to do it. It’s just too hard and unless you remove the barrier, encouraging and cheerleading won’t work.”

For example, if your child is perfectly happy on the basketball court or going to school dances but won’t participate in the classroom, Dr. Koplewicz says the issue probably isn’t social anxiety. Instead they may be having trouble reading or processing information, so it may be worth a closer look.

Sometimes our expectations can become outsized, too. Parents who are very motivated by the idea of getting their children into college might already be thinking of signing up for the right extracurriculars and getting the right GPA when their children are still several years away from filling out an application.

Being pushed for a goal so far in the future, and hearing about it for so much of their lives, can make kids feel inadequate and resentful. If you think that your child might be feeling too pressured, it is important to take a step back.

Children who are feeling overwhelmed or burned out might benefit from an approach that focuses more on the present. Praise successes and new skills for their own sake. If your daughter is playing soccer and taking piano, perhaps it will help her later in life, but she shouldn’t think that is the only motivation. If your son is struggling in math and needs a tutor, get one by all means, but explain that your goal is to help him understand what he is being taught — not to get him into Harvard.

Sticking with it When trying new things, Drs. Koplewicz and Domingues agree it’s especially important that kids are encouraged to see them through. So if they sign up for eight tap dancing lessons, they

If your child isn't ready to make a big commitment to an extracurricular activity, start off small. know they have to finish the eight, even if they decide after one that karate would have been more fun.

“You are also trying to teach your child that if you make a commitment it’s good to stick to your commitment,” says Dr. Domingues. “Just because something happened that you didn’t like on the first day, or whatever the case is, doesn’t mean that it’s going to be completely ruined for the rest of the time. So you’re also teaching them to be flexible with their thinking of how it’s going.”

That said, if a child who was enjoying an activity suddenly hates it, it could be a sign that something troubling happened. They may be experiencing bullying, have had an embarrassing social mishap, or may not feel supported by the teacher or coach. “You want to take the time to hear them out,” says Dr. Domingues, “and explore the options with them.”

Of course, Dr. Koplewicz points out, parents can misread a situation. “Sometimes you make a mistake and have to regroup. You can’t beat yourself up afterwards.” He recalls sending his son to sleepaway camp when he was seven years old and making him finish the seven weeks even though his son was unhappy.

When the boy came home, he said he really wished they hadn’t made him stay, and Dr. Koplewicz realized he hadn’t been ready for camp. So they took the next summer off, and the following summer eased back in with a short program that he ended up loving. It all worked out in the end.

“I think there are definitely times when maybe you’re pushing too hard,” says Dr. Domingues. “If you really do see a complete mood change, if they’re more irritable more days than not, if there’s extreme tantrums about just going, or if the fighting to get them there is excessive or outweighs all the other things, then it might be time to reassess.” n Courtesy Child Mind Institute

St. Peter’s Early Learning Center 2332 Grand Avenue Baldwin, New York 11510 ELC@stpetersbaldwin.org St. Peter's Early Learning Center is a Christian-based pre-school with small 6 to 1 ratio student to teacher classes. We offer half-day programs, with emphasis on academics as well as social development. Our professional staff is dedicated and caring!

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