THE BURDEN OF SUPPORT

Senior, Janine Esau, reflects back on her most impacted moment that changed her trajcetory of the real world.

“... If you are struggling with mental health, the counseling office is always here to help you.”

The announcement blared its words like salt on a fresh wound. While the words didn’t seem like much relevant to other students, one particular student was deeply affected by this announcement and did not feel relieved, but rather a mix of emotions: distress, relief, grief, and anger.

That day prior, Janine Esau was enjoying a coffee by the front of the school, not knowing she would witness something that would frighten her tremendously. Her friend came up to her in tears. She sat down with her friend who was sobbing hysterically. When she left, Janine immediately noticed that her friend didn’t say, “See you later.” It was a minor inconvenience, yet something in her gut seemed to signal otherwise. Her heart sank into her stomach, a dreadful feeling that urged her to go to the counselor’s office. As the day dragged on, Esau felt scared. Not only for the girl’s life but also for multiple people’s lives. In the nick of time, they, fortunately, found the girl before she could do anything harmful to herself.

That incident prompted the school to make an announcement: using the girl who almost committed as an example. The victim managed to get the help that she needed after this incident.

Two years later as a now senior, it was a negative impact for Esau, whose emotions were all over the place. She was grieving out of fear of what could’ve happened in multiple possibilities if she hadn’t made it on time. She was angry that counseling had used her friend as an example who deserved to be viewed as so much more. Esau felt like someone who got away from the incident with a heavy conscious weight on her shoulders. This burden had consumed her, feeling like mental health awareness had not been shed light on til the incident: it never felt as if counselors were there for her friend group. They only had each other to depend on. Through all this, this incident has given Esau strength and has shaped her as a person.

Janine Esau has advocated for mental health and created websites to help others with disabilities. From an outsider’s perspective, her group of friends looks like a bunch of misfits or outcasts, but they do their best to be there for each other. This situation Esau experienced has broadened her view and seemingly stripped her innocence to show her how the real world is.

Janine Esau leaves off with, “I can’t give you much of the good things, but I can give you good lessons.”

During Jake Hakmiller’s junior year, the new theater student faced one of his biggest crowds yet- a room full of elementary schoolers. He walked into the theater that day, admiring its beauty with the long stretch of stairs, and watched his classmates rehearsing, commending the acting skills of his classmates, naming Cassidy, Matthew, and Jasmine. The stage loomed before him, awaiting the scenes that were to take place. The play they were performing for the kindergarteners was called Away We Go, a Disney parody where he played a mouse. On the day of the performance, he put on his mouse ears, touched up his face paint, and got ready to run around the stage for most of his scene. His role as a mouse was a simple one, yet he needed to speak his lines with a Scottish accent. Over the course of rehearsals, he perfected this accent which always made everyone crack up. He ran out onto the stage using his best accent, but it became a bit more embarrassing when it was a crowd of young kids. Although Jake never had too many lines, he recalls Mrs. Toepke being a fantastic teacher who made the class exciting and always supported her students. He remembers this experience and moment fondly because of those around him at the time.