EMB: Band of Brothers Middletown

Emb MIDDLETOWN BAND OF BROTHERS

Every Man’s Battle is a Christ- centered series based on the acclaimed book by authors Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker. The series is sponsored by The Gathering in Middletown, OH and facilitated by Rev. Sean Lawrence.

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Middletown Band of Brothers ’ Authors: Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker Provided in partnership with Middletown Band of Brothers and The United Methodist Gathering. Facilitated by Rev. Sean Lawrence.

Intro: “We are not alone. Many men have fallen into their own sexual pits. We will examine our personal lives, and use honest application of Biblical truth to help us wage war on, and claim victory over, sexual temptation. This is about purity of purpose and action in the name of Jesus Christ.” – excerpted from the workbook.

Fair warning! Guys, this is not something you will get a handle on in 8 weeks or 8 months.

Those leading this study believe that this requires a lifetime of victorious living … which starts immediately, and means a certain amount of failure along the way. To succeed at any level, we will have to be accountable to God and to one another; and we will have to be honest about who we are and where we have come from. There is hope if we share and struggle together, and believe that Jesus can do for us what we could not do for ourselves. This is every man’s battle!

Week 1) INTRODUCTION: WHERE ARE WE? .…………… Page 4 Week 2) HOW WE GOT HERE Part A ……………………….. Page 6

Page 9 Week 3) HOW WE GOT HERE Part B ………………………………..

Page 12 Week 4) CHOOSING VICTORY Part A ………………………………

Page 15 Week 5) CHOOSING VICTORY Part B ………………………………….

Page 18 Week 6) VICTORY WITH YOUR EYES ……………………………………

Page 21 Week 7) VICTORY WITH YOUR MIND ………………………………..

Page 24 Week 8) CONCLUSION: VICTORY IN YOUR HEART ……………….

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Middletown Band of Brothers ’ COMMON OPENING Open in prayer Confidentiality: this group’s discussions are to be held in the strictest confidence, and are to be treated like any other recovery experience. What is said here stays here.

Do not reveal too much until trust is established: Too much detail could be used against you if your trust is misplaced. Honesty is important in the group for the sake of discussion, but some of the secrets should be shared only with an accountability partner or with God. As a way of introduction: I have to say that, while the book is complete in many ways, it has not adequately addressed the issue of male sexuality in the context of drug addiction and substance abuse.

The use of drugs and alcohol: The only way a guy can get a handle on the issues of his sexual interests, and his male yearning, is to cease the use of all mind altering substances prior to attempting to deal with the subject.

Until this is accomplished the ability to address “every man’s battle” will be a failure. So many mental and physical boundaries are violated when a man is under the influence, that the subject of purity is irrelevant until he is sober. Even then, for the strongest among us, it is a challenge that will require a lifetime to process. A clear connection to God is not a suggestion; it is a requirement for success (healing).

What is success? It is doing better today than yesterday, and building on that even if we fall short of our goals along the way. Having said that, we will all fail along the way, but we do not make excuses. Victory is the result of deciding to persevere even after failing a hundred times.

BE A BETTER MAN IN CHRIST JESUS 3

WEEK 1

INTRODUCTION

WHERE ARE WE?

SCRIPTURE What did Paul say? “Jesus’ grace is sufficient.”

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so I would not exalt myself. 8 Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times to take it away from me. 9 But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. 10 So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions, and in pressures, because of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

What is required? A heart for Christ and a mind set upon Him. Read Scripture on page 8 Matthew 5:27-30 27 “You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery. 28 But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to go into hell!

Conversation: we will be talking frankly and openly about subjects that you may be rethinking about now … or wondering if it is worth thinking about at all. This will not be easy, but it can be for our growth and some changes in our purity as believing men. This is NOT about perfection and it is NOT about judgment or hell.

Purity is not a very popular word because it is directly opposed to what our culture and our media says is ok and in fact normal. The impure is what is promoted almost everywhere you and I look. Sex sells everything from cars and payday loans to clothing and music. What comes to your mind when you hear the word “purity?” Do you think of a person who is a “goody two-shoes” or someone who is acting “holier than thou?”

Let’s consider some of the introductory questions. It is great if you can read the book, but if not we will still be able to address the issue of battling our sexual temptation and managing our thinking with the help of Jesus. You cannot live in a monastery, so this will affect you right where you live every day.

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Just for perspective: Other addictions and abuses can be more easily dealt with because we can eliminate the supply or the ways we use and get “high.” Well, you can shut down a liquor store or hang up on your dealer, but you and I are attached to our male parts. Yep, say it … “penis.” You are not advised to cut it off so it is like having a fifth in the cupboard. How easy is it not to use if the source is you? We will explore all of these issues that make what we are discussing seem almost impossible to achieve … and yet we can make real progress and indeed heal. Best of all we will not have such a burdened heart, and we will be safe to be around.

Females will not have to be concerned about our intentions. I don’t know about you, but I am not a dog and women are not slabs of meat.

For those young men who are attending or are considering it, we applaud you. We see in you a hope that many of us have just given up on. You are a true blessing to this group; there is the opportunity to get your thoughts and acts in order on the name of Jesus early in your life and to be an inspiration to those who are older, and a blessing to the women in your lives.

Questions: Why are you here? Why do you believe there is a sexual sin or temptation in your life that needs to be addressed spiritually?

Do you often feel alone in your battle against lust and temptation?

Do you feel like sex is a drive or an addiction?

When it comes to a believer’s sin do you believe it is a result of immaturity or rebellion?

What is it about being a guy that makes sexual thinking a problem for us?

Has your sexual desire had negative impact on others, on an important relationship, or led you into dark places in pursuit of pleasure?

Do you believe that Jesus can help, and even heal, if we are willing?

What is your personal weakness or “thorn in the flesh?” Be reasonably specific but do not provide graphic detail.

Is it more likely that you will be able to control your mind and body or that in Christ you will be better able to manage your impulses? Why? Do you believe that lust in the heart is the breeding ground for sin and is equivalent to a physical act? See Matthew 5:27-28 above.

How does Scripture speak into our personal struggle?

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WEEK 2

PART A

HOW WE GOT HERE

SCRIPTURE: What does Paul Say? 1 Timothy 6:9-10 9 But those who want to be rich fall into temptation, a trap, and many foolish and harmful desires, which plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and by craving it, some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains.

What Does Jesus say in Matthew?

Matthew 6:19-24 19 “Don’t collect for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But collect for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves don’t break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. So if the light within you is darkness — how deep is that darkness!

24 “No one can be a slave of two masters, since either he will hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot be slaves of God and of money.

1 Thessalonians 4:1-7 1 Finally then, brothers, we ask and encourage you in the Lord Jesus, that as you have received from us how you must walk and please God — as you are doing — do so even more. 2 For you know what commands we gave you through the Lord Jesus.

3 For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality, 4 so that each of you knows how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, 5 not with lustful desires, like the Gentiles who don’t know God. 6 This means one must not transgress against and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger of all these offenses, as we also previously told and warned you. 7 For God has not called us to impurity but to sanctification. 8 Therefore, the person who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who also gives you His Holy Spirit.

What Paul is encouraging in this passage is this: we will continue to live among those who do not believe, and those who may come to believe. In either case we are to be good examples of what it means to love and follow Jesus. This does not mean perfection, but that every effort is 6

made to live a life that is upright this side of glory. We live in the flesh and we know that we are in a constant battle against our own will and the will of the enemy. It is no secret that this is a very difficult course to follow.

How did we end up in this place? How did we get into this mess? None of us have gone out in the morning intending to end up addicted and controlled by our desires and temptations. In fact, it is quite the contrary! We probably got up many or most mornings and swore an oath that we would not do the things that day which got us in trouble the day before and the day before that. And yet, the temptation of being who we are got the best of us … again.

Has anyone ever heard the old proverb or adage, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions?” How do you interpret that saying?

Are you aware that being a Christ follower does not provide immunity to sexual temptation?

The latest studies tell us that the statistical difference between Christian men and nonbelieving men is practically nonexistent when it comes to viewing habits of porn and the like. What does this say to you? It surprised me!

From the text: For most of us, becoming ensnared by sexual sin happened easily and naturally, like slipping off an icy log … Perhaps you’ve mustered the hope that you would someday be free from sexual sin and expected to grow out of it as naturally as you grew into it –like outgrowing acne or adolescent awkwardness.

Ok, so in the book Steve has the ultimate “aha moment” as he plows his Mercedes into a Chevelle while watching a very attractive jogger. Thankfully, most of us have not had that costly a wakeup call … or have we? What is it that gets out attention and makes clear that we are not in control of our thoughts and our actions?

For Fred it was browsing the Sunday morning ads (how ironic) that got his attention, and which had become its own addictive activity. Think about it as a martini for the eyes and the pleasure centers of the brain.

Questions: What did you personally identify with in the stories from these two men? What did it take for us (you and me) to come to a place where we were aware of our illicit activities?

How much a part of your life have guilt and shame become?

Do we have two or more separate lives? How long can we lead double or triple lives?

How distracted are we by our surroundings? How much do we just accept as “the ways of the world we live in?” At my work I see it all. It is a steep challenge. Some things are a treat and others I wish I didn’t have to even see.

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What are you distracted by? What steps, if any, have you taken to shield from yourself from this kind of everyday temptation?

After the introduction last week, and some time to think it over, do you think living victoriously is possible and do you think purity is a reasonable goal? Why or why not.

As a final thought for those who lives through what we called the “sexual revolution” in the sixties and seventies … was it truly liberating or in the end did it become another form of bondage and addiction?

Notes

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WEEK 3

PART B

HOW WE GOT HERE

SCRIPTURE Exodus 20:14 Do not commit adultery.

Proverbs 6:27-28 Can a man embrace fire and his clothes not be burned?

28 Can a man walk on burning coals

without scorching his feet?

Galatians 6:7-9 7 Don’t be deceived: God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows he will also reap, 8 because the one who sows to his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh, but the one who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life from the Spirit. 9 So we must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up …

Mocked = disrespected, taunted Job 31:1-9 I have made a covenant with my eyes.

How then could I look at a young woman?

2 For what portion would I have from God above, or what inheritance from the * Almighty on high?

3 Doesn’t disaster come to the unjust and misfortune to evildoers?

4 Does He not see my ways and number all my steps?

5 If I have walked in falsehood or my foot has rushed to deceit, 6 let God weigh me in accurate scales, and He will recognize my integrity.

7 If my step has turned from the way, my heart has followed my eyes, 9

or impurity has stained my hands, 8 let someone else eat what I have sown, and let my crops be uprooted.

9 If my heart has been seduced by my neighbor’s wife or I have lurked at his door,

From the text: You stand before an important battle. You have decided that the slavery of sexual sin isn’t worth the love of sexual sin. You’re committed to removing every hint of it. But how? Your maleness looms as your own worst enemy. You got into this mess by being male; you’ll get out of it by being a man. –from chapter 7 in the book.

Suggestion: As the study begins ask the Holy Spirit for help in hearing and obeying God’s words.

As you pray, and consider this week’s Scripture, realize that God is not calling you to do anything that is contrary to His nature or to what is always in (our) best interest. Because He is Holy we are holy. (Leviticus 19:2) This is not an issue of heaven and hell but an issue regarding the quality of life. If you are obsessed and overwhelmed, worshipping false idols, and grappling with a convicted heart, hell can feel like it is at your doorstep.

I will tell you for sure that we did not get to this place by accident. If I look back on my childhood with honesty and reflection I can say that this has been a problem since I can remember. I am not blaming anyone or anything. But when I look at my interests, it should have been a warning sign … but it was fascinating, I was curious, and it felt good. But even then I remember feeling guilty and somewhat ashamed of what I did. I even got caught once, but weaseled my way out of it. There is no need to reveal all of our past in detail, but admitting it to God can be both awareness, and freedom. Now, of course, what to do about it?

There must be practical ways we can begin to meet the goals for a life of greater purity. If the practical results of our preoccupation with sex have been real then we can also be hopeful that our countermeasures will also have real practical results … positive results.

For men, impurity of the eyes is sexual foreplay. It naturally prepares us for the sex act. The eyes are the gateway drug to sexual addiction. Visual gratification is a form of sex for men. It ignites passion, creates gratification and releases chemical highs. – From the workbook pg 34

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Questions: Have your eyes ever gotten you into trouble? How? Has your interests in pornography driven a wedge between you and the one you are married to or with another individual at any time in your life?

How dangerous is an overly active fantasy life? Is it ever a problem?

Have you promised yourself or your partner, over and over, that you will never do “those things again?” How long before it all comes back? How long before you got caught? Porn magazines and porn websites are no different than alcohol or drugs to an addict. If it causes your life to be unmanageable then you have a problem. We all have a problem or we would not be here.

How many times have you failed? The author, Fred, says he failed 30 million times. What does he mean?

What does God want you to change? How will you respond? This should be practical and be something you can do and have some success at. There is no need to make promises you either cannot or will not keep.

Notes

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WEEK 4

PART A

CHOOSING VICTORY

SCRIPTURE 2 Peter 1:2-11 2 May grace and peace be multiplied to you through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. 3 His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. 4 By these He has given us very great and precious promises, so that through them you may share in the divine nature, escaping the corruption that is in the world because of evil desires. 5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, 6 knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, 7 godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they will keep you from being useless or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 The person who lacks these things is blind and shortsighted and has forgotten the cleansing from his past sins. 10 Therefore, brothers, make every effort to confirm your calling and election, because if you do these things you will never stumble. 11 For in this way, entry into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be richly supplied to you.

Isaiah 53:5-6 5 But He was pierced because of our transgressions, crushed because of our iniquities; punishment for our peace was on Him, and we are healed by His wounds.

6 We all went astray like sheep; we all have turned to our own way; and the LORD has punished Him for the iniquity of us all.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 18 Run from sexual immorality! “Every sin a person can commit is outside the body.” On the contrary, the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. 19 Don’t you know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God in your body.

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From the text: When you talk to courageous WWII veterans, they say they don’t feel like heroes. They simply had a job to do. When the landing-craft ramps fell open, the swallowed hard and said, It’s time.” It’s time to fight.

In your struggle with sexual impurity, isn’t it time? Sure, fighting back will be hard. But your life and home are under a withering barrage of “machine-gun sexuality that rakes the landscape mercilessly. Right now you’re in a landing craft, inching closer to the shore and a showdown.

God has given you the weapons and trained you for battle.

You can’t stay in the landing-craft forever. ---taken from chapter 8 What makes the WWII vets the remarkable generation that they are? What made their war a war they could recover from and claim victory in? Why are the other wars seeing soldiers coming home so messed up that there are not enough resources or interest to help them recover from rampant PTSD and the like? How can we equate this comparison to our own spiritual battlefield? How can we find, claim, and live out victory? In Christ!

I want you to notice the title to this week’s study: CHOOSING VICTORY. Be perfectly aware that all of what you do is a choice. It is not a “foregone conclusion” or “fate.” Your success hinges on your personal choice to alter your life, and the victory that is in Christ and Christ alone. No one can accomplish any good thing without Jesus … no one.

As the author Leonard Ravenhill suggests, all eyes are on us. As the unthinkable becomes the norm all kinds of sexual distortion will become acceptable and even legalized. However, that does not mean that because it is readily available, or even legal, that we should partake. Stand strong in Christ and defy the norm. Be prepared in this age to be persecuted for your lifestyle.

“This present day is like an arena whose terraces are filled with militant godless, the brilliant and belligerent skeptics, plus the blank-faced heathen millions, all looking into the empty ring to see what the church of the living God can do.” --from chapter 5 Praying Revival by Leonard Ravenhill

Questions: Is it profitable for Christ followers to stop short at the middle ground of excellence where costs are low, balanced somewhere between paganism and obedience?

What are the wrong questions? (example: I can’t possibly do this … and besides, Isn’t holiness a God thing and not a me thing?) Didn’t Paul say that we all fall short of the mark?

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How far can we go in our behaviors and still be considered a Christian? Is there a secret dark side to your Christian image?

What is true manhood? What is your definition of being a man and then being a victorious man?

Do you see a difference between victory and conquest? Explain …

How can any person, especially a young person, remain pure in such polluted waters? Is the hope for a turnaround of [the] culture of depravity resting with our youth?

Even if we have enough time why will it take generations to create change?

Have you ever known a person who is “a slave to righteousness?” What can we learn from him or her?

Notes

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WEEK 5

PART B

CHOOSING VICTORY

SCRIPTURE: Leviticus 19:4 4 Do not turn to idols or make cast images of gods for yourselves; I am Yahweh your God. Jonah 2:8 8 Those who cling to worthless idols forsake faithful love …

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 4 since the weapons of our warfare are not worldly, but are powerful through God for the demolition of strongholds. We demolish arguments 5 and every highminded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ.

Ephesians 1:17-21 17 I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, would give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him. 18 I pray that the perception of your mind may be enlightened so you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the glorious riches of His inheritance among the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of His power to us who believe, according to the working of His vast strength. 20 He demonstrated this power in the Messiah by raising Him from the dead and seating Him at His right hand in the heavens — 21 far above every ruler and authority, power and dominion, and every title given, not only in this age but also in the one to come.

From the text: As we read this text from the workbook, and consider the spiritual warfare we are engaged in, what is your definition of victory?

Okay, so you have decided it’s time to fight. And you realize that your battle for sexual purity will cost you something. It will require sacrifice, intensity and honor. But, let’s get something else in clear view: What can you expect to gain by choosing manhood and the purity that goes with it?

By winning this war, your life will be blessed in tremendous ways. Your victory will recover what was lost through sin. Victory will help you regain and revitalize your relationship with God, your wife, your children and your ministry. –from chapter 9 in Every Man’s Battle We begin our victory march by first making a covenant with our eyes. All worthwhile covenants directly involve God. We make the covenant and then we practice it. We practice 15

by learning to see and feel differently. We exercise management over how we see and how we react to what we lay our eyes on. We seek God’s help in doing what we could not do on our own.

One portion of the above quote is of particular interest to me, and should be to you as well. It is shown in bold. You might assume that your ministry is only an assignment in your church or faith community; but I would like to remind you that it is far more than that. Your ministry is your daily walk and touches a greater number of people than you will ever touch in church. So, your ministry is not just a title within church walls on Sunday mornings. It is how you live your life every day!

Choosing victory means choosing to look at your whole life with an understanding that sexual sin is only one piece of that puzzle. If you are willing to peer into this aspect of your character, you will undoubtedly find other areas in your life that need to be touched by Jesus’ healing Spirit. Rarely does one sin exist without its brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. In other words, sins enjoys its own company. If you work on one sin it is a pretty sure thing that you will come face to face with its relatives.

The one thing that I think is a flaw in our healing process, for both men and women, is the notion that who we were is who we are. While there is no denying that were are crafted by our environment, and our personal relationships (both past and present), we are not destined to become anyone but who we choose to be.

God, by the person of Jesus on the cross, has given us the gift or freewill and grace to go with it … if we so choose. We can also continue to rebel in the way sinners always have. Many people will say they cannot help themselves but the truth is this: we are responsible for our behavior, for its consequences, and accountable to God whether we want to be or not.

Questions: Now, what is your definition of victory?

Can you look yourself in the mirror and not lower your eyes in shame?

If you were to imagine your mind as a place with many rooms where would Jesus be welcome and where would He be unwelcome? (This is an opportunity to pray for healing and to begin to unlock the doors of the secret places) Can you see some of the aspects (or character traits) of the prodigal son in yourself? What are those traits? Are you still searching? Are you in a place of desperation yet? Or … are you on your way back home?

How have you been affected by “the sins of your fathers?” How might these sins be affecting your own children?

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Is sexual temptation more than viewing pornography? What is your personal definition of the term pornography? Has this definition changed over time, especially over that last 25 years?

How does sexual temptation affect your personal relationships with women? Your wife or partner? Your ministry? Your church? Your community?

How do you personally define victory over sexual temptation? Is it just not looking at sexually charged images or is it something more?

Notes

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WEEK 6

PART N/A

VICTORY WITH YOUR EYES

SCRIPTURE: 2Timothy 2:3-5&7 3 Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. 4 No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in the concerns of civilian life; he seeks to please the recruiter. 5 Also, if anyone competes as an athlete, he is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. 7 Consider what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.

Psalm 25:8-16 8 The LORD is good and upright; therefore He shows sinners the way.

9 He leads the humble in what is right and teaches them His way.

10 All the LORD’s ways show faithful love and truth to those who keep His covenant and decrees. 11 Because of Your name, Yahweh, forgive my sin, for it is great.

12 Who is the man who fears the LORD? He will show him the way he should choose.

13 He will live a good life, and his descendants will inherit the land.

14 The secret counsel of the LORD is for those who fear Him, and He reveals His covenant to them. 15 My eyes are always on the LORD, for He will pull my feet out of the net. 16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am alone and afflicted.

FROM THE TEXT: Why must “bouncing the eyes” be immediate? After all, you might argue, a glance isn’t the same a lusting. If we define “lusting as staring open-mouthed until drool pools at your feet, then a glance isn’t the same as lusting. But if we define lusting as any look that creates a little chemical high, that little pop, then we have something a little more difficult to measure. This chemical high happens more quickly than you realize. In our experience, drawing the line at “immediate” is clean and easy for the mind and eyes to understand. –adapted from chapter 11 Job 31:7 … my heart has followed my eyes …

Our objective will be to build three perimeters of defense; which are: 1.) With the eyes 2.) In the mind 3.) In the heart (chapter 10)

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The first and most important perimeter is the eyes. It is the outermost defense, and the most easily breached. The way this is defended is by “bouncing the eyes” which is training the eyes (mind and heart) to look away from objects of lust and attraction. Along with this is the practice (modifying behavior) that begins to break down the view of someone attractive and the temptation to respond physically. The best way I can describe it is “taking a dispassionate view.” It does not mean that you are not attracted, but that you train yourself not to immediately fantasize or to have “the drool effect.” I know that sounds crass, but there is truth in what is known as the “Pavlovian Effect.” It is the outward physical response (salivation) to an inanimate object (such as food, in the case of this study).

This training can, and will, work; but it takes time, practice, and most importantly, Jesus Christ.

It is actually a form of healing. For many of us, after the drugs and all the rest this is our last hold-out … and it is very difficult to release … it is so much a part of who we are. We have always considered our temptation to be a symptom of another problem, not the problem itself.

The way to change the behavior is given to us in 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 3 For though we live in the body, we do not wage war in an unspiritual way, 4 since the weapons of our warfare are not worldly, but are powerful through God for the demolition of strongholds. We demolish arguments 5 and every high-minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ. 6 And we are ready to punish any disobedience, once your obedience has been confirmed.

Isaiah 33:15-16 15 The one who lives righteously and speaks rightly, who refuses gain from extortion, whose hand never takes a bribe, who stops his ears from listening to murderous plots 2 and shuts his eyes to avoid endorsing evil — 16 he will dwell on the heights; his refuge will be the rocky fortresses, his food provided, his water assured.

QUESTIONS … TIME TO DIG IN Now that we are in our sixth week, and many of us have been here each week, why are you here? Other than the company of other men and Bible study (both which are excellent reasons to be anywhere) what drew you to a study on sexual temptation?

Is your heart convicted? Why or why not?

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What is your definition of victory (or success) over this type of homegrown spiritual conflict?

Do you see sexual temptation as a sinful behavior or simply a natural response to “the scenery?” What is meant in Scripture by “the wages of sin is death?” (Romans 6:23) The author says that sexual impurity “isn’t like a tumor growing out of control inside us … that it has to do with honesty and a series of right choices.” Have you made any poor choices that have followed you? What might they be? Cheating, etc? Is the disease analogy a cop out?

What is wrong with praying for deliverance over and over? How can this be an incorrect approach? Aren’t we to pray without ceasing?

What practical approaches may work to keep our eyes focused on God; to reduce distraction?

What are the sources of sexual imagery in your life? What does your list look like?

Notes

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WEEK 7

PART N/A

VICTORY WITH YOUR MIND

SCRIPTURE: Genesis 6:5-6 5 When the LORD saw that man’s wickedness was widespread on the earth and that every scheme his mind thought of was nothing but evil all the time, 6 the LORD regretted that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart.

Deuteronomy 4:39 39 Today, recognize and keep in mind that the LORD is God in heaven above and on earth below; there is no other.

Romans 12:2 2 Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. 1 Peter 1:13-16 13 Therefore, with your minds ready for action, be serious and set your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14As obedient children, do not be conformed to the desires of your former ignorance. 15But as the One who called you is holy, you also are to be holy in all your conduct; 16for it is written, Be holy, because I am holy. (Leviticus 19:2) Philippians 4:8 8 Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable — if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise — dwell on these things.

Proverbs 11:20 20 Those with twisted minds are detestable to the LORD, but those with blameless conduct are His delight.

FROM THE TEXT: The great news is that the defense perimeter of the eyes works with you to build the perimeter of the mind. The mind needs an object for its lust, so when the eyes view sexual images, the mind has plenty to dance with. Without those images, the mind has an empty dance card. By starving the eyes, you starve the mind as well. –from chapter 14 in the text Your mind is orderly, and your worldview colors what comes through it. The mind will allow impure thoughts only if they “fit” the way you look at the world. As you set up the perimeter of 21

defense for your mind, your brain’s worldview will be transformed by a new matrix of allowed thoughts or “allowables.” –from the workbook pg 81.

The one thing I want to make clear as we near the end of this study is that … this is not intended to suggest that sex is evil, that having carnal thoughts is abnormal, or that God is intent on punishing us for our interest in pursuing sexual satisfaction. The issue is one of distortion, obsession, unfettered lust, and acting out in ways that create consequences which damage ourselves and those around us. I would recommend that this series does not get sidetracked by conversations regarding judging, or condemning, those whose behaviors have been legalized or normalized in the recent past.

The best commentary I have heard was brought to the table by a young man who “wanted to maintain his perspective so that the culture around him did not suck him into its version of normal.” I have obviously paraphrased this, but I think the point is well made. If we do not remain vigilant, and focused on Jesus Christ as our role model, we run a very real risk of being slaves to our desires, and victims of our culture. The mind, which is the second level of defense after the eyes, is clearly a significant secondary perimeter … one that has a huge impact when it is in gear. I would say that eyes and the heart are like slices of bread, and the mind is the meat.

Think of it as a brain sandwich: The mind is where we make decisions and calculate risks. This is where we formulate our values and think through what we say really matters. It is also where we can rationalize and justify what we want. In psychological terms it houses the id, the ego and the super ego. This mind thing can also be conveniently set aside when we use drugs and alcohol because it is organic and resides in the brain. This “disconnect” is a short circuit that allows a direct connection from the eyes to the heart. If the heart is treasuring the carnal, and the eyes are feasting on it, and the mind is disengaged the results can be horrific. Ever wondered what you did when you were drunk or high? Your heart knows and your eyes know, but you cannot remember what happened.

Note: the spirit is set apart from the brain (or mind) in this dialogue, but it is never far from all of these defenses we call perimeters. The soul or spiritual nature might be said to reside in the heart. However, the soul (or spirit) is our Godly identity, and is truly who we are. It is separate from our bodies, but is clearly affected by our physical nature. The mind is filter number 2.

I do not want anyone to hate himself because of being impure … we all are impure because our human nature colors our desires and our needs. Sex ranks right up there with food and shelter in most psychological lists or hierarchy of needs. Sex, however, is a means and not an end.

Having sex does not conclude anything, or solve any problems, on a permanent basis. It motivates us to reproduce. In ancient Hebrew theology, the primary reason for sex was a succession of male heirs, not pleasure. Pleasure was the motivator.

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QUESTIONS … TIME TO DIG IN Just what is the mind and how is it different from the brain or the heart? Is it truly different or just different names for the same thing? What are your thoughts on this, and why do you believe your way of thinking makes sense? Is it opinion or fact?

Have you ever convinced yourself that you actually deserve to be happy and to feel good regardless of whom it hurts? Is this how a guy begins to rationalize doing whatever it takes?

Isn’t this the real beginning of addiction and obsession? What is the downside of hedonism?

If it feels good should you do it? Why is this not a wise idea both Biblically and practically?

Is masturbation sinful? Is it wrong? Is it evil? Why do you agree or disagree?

How can masturbation become a problem, and how can it take the place of a relationship with a spouse or with God? Is a fantasy life really better than no life at all?

What are we supposed to do about the sexual desires we have if we are not married? What does our culture tell us and what does God have to say? (No need to quote Scripture here) In our minds and our hearts don’t we know what’s right and what’s wrong? Why then do we feel guilty or shameful if meeting our needs is ok and natural? What is natural to you?

Notes

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WEEK 8

CONCLUSION

VICTORY IN YOUR HEART

SCRIPTURE: Matthew 6:19-21 19 “Don’t collect for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But collect for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves don’t break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Ecclesiastes 2:8-13 8 I also amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I gathered male and female singers for myself, and many concubines, the delights of men. 9 So I became great and surpassed all who were before me in Jerusalem; my wisdom also remained with me. 10 All that my eyes desired, I did not deny them. I did not refuse myself any pleasure, for I took pleasure in all my struggles. This was my reward for all my struggles.

11 When I considered all that I had accomplished and what I had labored to achieve, I found everything to be futile and a pursuit of the wind. There was nothing to be gained under the sun. 12 Then I turned to consider wisdom, madness, and folly, for what will the man be like who

comes after the king? He will do what has already been done. 13 And I realized that there is an advantage to wisdom over folly, like the advantage of light over darkness.

Isaiah 44:9 9 All who make idols are nothing, and what they treasure does not profit.

Their witnesses do not see or know anything, so they will be put to shame.

Psalm 101:2 2 …I will live with a heart of integrity in my house.

Proverbs 17:22 22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.

1 Peter 3:3-4 3 Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes.

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FROM THE TEXT: This final lesson looks into the covenant of marriage, how it parallels Christ’s relationship with the church, God’s relationship with Israel, and more importantly, what captures our hearts.

The workbook uses The Song of Solomon to illustrate this love which is both erotic and committed, physical and yet highly spiritualized. I believe that this is what God wants for us so that we have fulfilling lives together, not just time spent.

I am also convinced that, after writing the lessons, listening to the struggles of others, and considering my own short comings, there is good reason to be a covenant-based people. The purity aspect of this goes back to the image of God Himself, and our commandment to emulate Him so that we best reflect His image in this world: “Be holy because I am holy.”

1 Peter 1:13-16 13 Therefore, with your minds ready for action, be serious and set your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the desires of your former ignorance. 15 But as the One who called you is holy, you also are to be holy in all your conduct; 16 for it is written, Be holy because I am holy. (see Leviticus 12:45) The covenant experience protects us, and allows us to flourish, without really giving up the best life has to offer … and without the guilt and shame associated with temptations we cannot

resist. If we are going to yield to sexual temptation it is best to do so in the context of marriage. Even then we must consider the relationship and be sure our pleasure is not onesided or destructive.

What is the heart? It is the place of our deepest passion, profound longing and greatest love. If this sounds like Scripture it is probably because the same words are used to describe our healthiest relationship with God. “The Heart” is spiritual; it is your spiritual center, thus it does not reside solely in the organ of the cardiac muscle, even though that is where the feelings seem to be coming from. What captivates the heart captivates the mind, the intellect and the eye. So while we have been working from the outside in, it is now time to consider working from the inside out. Our heart is the true depth of us. It is where we connect to God. The heart is the spiritual self. Even a nonbeliever has a spiritual self that is not completely disconnected from God. The heart regarded as the center of a person’s thoughts and emotions, especially love or compassion – The Oxford Dictionary The center of the physical, mental, and spiritual life of humans. It is considered to be the [literal and physical] center of life. It became the focus for all of the vital functions of the body, including both the intellectual and spiritual life. Not only is the heart associated with the activities of the mind and the will, but it is also closely connected to the feelings and affections of a person. The heart is the dwelling place of God. It is our tabernacle, our holy of holies.

–The Holman Bible Dictionary 25

“Let’s talk about your innermost perimeter which is being consumed with God’s purpose to cherish your wife. If Christians were consumed by God’s purposes it would be reflected in our marriages. But the rates of divorce, adultery, and marital dissatisfaction in the Christian church reveal our hearts. We’ve known very few men consumed by their marriages, and fewer still consumed by purity, but both are God’s desire for you. God’s purpose for your marriage is that it parallels Christ’s relationship to His church, that you be one with your wife.”

–from chapter 17 in the text “Everybody’s sin is nobody’s sin.” This spectacular insight was taken from the movie Kinsey starring Liam Neeson. The line, though concise, embodies the mentality, and the inherent obstacles, that present themselves when we deal with human sexuality. I absolutely recommend the film even though it is rather graphic in both script and imagery.

What does the above statement mean to you in terms of your personal experience; and what effect does such an insight have on the world at large? Because sexual temptation is so widespread should we refuse to mount a defense against it? Should we simply give into our desires because they are “natural?” Should anything be off limits? What might be the consequences of satisfying every desire? These are questions we must answer.

The underlying theme that was being explored in the movie, was not the normalcy of any and all sexual activity between willing partners, but the delicacy and necessity of relationships which can be damaged by self-centered behavior. It is essential for human beings to be special and cared for by someone who is special in return. To say that we can have sex, and that it has no effect on the deeper emotional bonds, is a lie. Trust and faith, which are Godly domains, are critical to our well-being. We must consider the value of a relationship, which is by our definition for this study, a covenant.

QUESTIONS … TIME TO DIG IN Are the eyes, mind and heart truly separate? Can these aspects of who we are really be compartmentalized; or are they integrated in ways that prevent us from focusing on just one of them and not the others, also? How does this integration affect our response to sexual imagery in everyday life?

Is “modifying” the truth ok? Why is modification of the truth a real danger in all areas of life?

Let’s take it a step further: Is it even important to have one absolute truth?

What is the condition of your heart? Do you think it is healthier than it was 8 weeks ago? Are you having small victories over your personal behaviors, and your responses to “the scenery” of the world we live in? Can you describe briefly?

What is your definition of “purity” and how has that changed since we began the study?

From a sexual standpoint do you think “normal” is a completely relative term? Why do we need standards for sexual behavior, and for other behaviors, as well?

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How would you explain this study to others … both men and women?

How can regular prayer help to keep us on track and in the heart of God’s will and purpose?

What additional subjects would you like to see covered in a study of this type? Would you like to see this study continued for a longer period of time?

How has the study helped your understanding of God and His will for your life? Has your Biblical understanding gained a more practical side that you can put into action each day?

Do you have a better understand of what “victory” means after studying our challenges, and having read Scripture over the last 7 weeks?

Finally … Has this study been a benefit to you? In what way (or ways) … and if not, why not? If we are to hold this again how can we make it more effective? Please be specific. You can contact me at seanlawrence@gatheringspirit.org or on Facebook at Sean Lawrence.

Note: It is important that what we do makes sense, where we live, both in both our physical and our spiritual lives. As it is these aspects are inseparable this side of heaven, and we are men in a culture dominated by sex. In the end this is a study about God, about relationships, and about how we can best reflect His image of peace and well-being to a world in a tailspin.

Notes

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Appendix

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Stories of men in the Bible: Real men, real consequences Men in the Bible have not received as much of the necessary attention that men today can learn from and identify with. It is true that there were grievous transgressions, but these men were loved by God and they loved Him back. How is it then that they made such poor decisions and remained in God’s favor? We need to explore this line of thinking because David and Adam, Noah and Samson were no different than you and me. They were men who dealt with being very male and loving God at the same time. They battled the flesh in the spirit just like we do. What are their stories and what can we learn from them?

WEEK 1 Adam: (temptation and shame) Means “first man” or man in general. Though it is often Eve who is given the dubious honor of being both tempted and temptress, it is critical to note that Adam agreed with his wife without any apparent arm twisting. Thus a decision was made that we believe affects us all. This is a vivid metaphor for the suffering that ensues when a man chooses unwisely. What we do does matter, and it does affect others … even those of us who were not in his presence at the time the fruit was picked and eaten. Even if done privately, God knows our activities.

Genesis 3:4-7 “No! You will not die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “In fact, God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

6 Then the woman saw that the tree was good for food and delightful to look at, and that it was desirable for obtaining wisdom. So she took some of its fruit and ate it; she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made loincloths for themselves.

WEEK 2 Noah: (humiliation and consequences) Because he walked with God and stood blameless among the people at that time, God selected him to build an ark by which they would survive the flood. Sadly, in addition to many animals, the sinful nature of humanity is one other thing that was preserved on the vessel. Once on dry land, Noah planted a vineyard, drank of the wine, and exposed himself in his tent. His sons had to cover him, and one of them, Ham, who only informed his brothers, was cursed. Ham’s curse: he did not act.

Genesis 9:20-25 Noah, a man of the soil, was the first to plant a vineyard. 21 He drank some of the wine, became drunk, and uncovered himself inside his tent. 22 Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two brothers outside. 23 Then Shem and Japheth took a cloak and placed it over both their shoulders, and walking backward, they covered their father’s nakedness. Their faces were turned away, and they did not see their father naked.

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24 When Noah awoke from his drinking and learned what his youngest son had done to him, 25 he said:Canaan will be cursed. He will be the lowest of slaves to his brothers.

WEEK 3 Abraham: (disodedience and history) While the father of many monotheistic faiths, Abraham was unbelieving, and was not willing to wait on God to bless him and his wife, Sarah.

Sarah was impatient as well, and that affected the life of her maidservant Hagar and Abraham’s eldest son, Ishmael. The children of Islam believe they are Ishmael’s descendants, which is born out in Scripture: this is in keeping with God’s promise to Hagar to prosper him as a father of many nations, though he was born outside of the covenant. This is an earthly prosperity, not one with an eternal spirituality benefiting the descendants.

Genesis 16:9-12 Then the Angel of the LORD said to her, “You must go back to your mistress and submit to her mistreatment.” 10 The Angel of the LORD also said to her, “I will greatly multiply your* offspring, and they will be too many to count.”

11 Then the Angel of the LORD said to her: You have conceived and will have a son.

You will name him Ishmael, for the LORD has heard your cry of affliction.

12 This man will be like a wild donkey.

His hand will be against everyone, and everyone’s hand will be against him; he will live at odds with7 all his brothers.

WEEK 4 David: (adultery and murder) His relationship with Bathsheba is so well known that we often overlook his likeness in our own lives … and some of his other consequential shortcomings. Occasionally we justify our own actions by siting David’s indiscretions as being far worse than our own. David was hot and cold, never lukewarm; David was a complex individual prone to acts of both pronounced disgrace and grandiose worship. David in the Psalms comes across many times as a manic depressive and larger than life. And yet, David’s greatest harm was his example to his family. His son Solomon eventually fell back into pagan worship, his eldest Amnon raped his sister Tamar, and Absalom overthrew him. And do not forget that he had Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, killed. There are consequences, always consequences. And yet David was a man after God’s heart. There is hope for us, too.

2 Samuel 11:2-4 & 14-17 One evening David got up from his bed and strolled around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing — a very beautiful woman. 3 So David sent someone to inquire about her, and he reported, “This is Bathsheba, daughter of Eliam and wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 4 David sent messengers to get her, and when she came to him, he slept with her. Now she had just been purifying herself from her uncleanness. Afterward, she returned home. 5 The woman conceived and sent word to inform David: “I am pregnant.”

14 … David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. 15 In the letter he wrote: Put Uriah at the front of the fiercest fighting, then withdraw from him so that he is struck down and dies.

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16 When Joab was besieging the city, he put Uriah in the place where he knew the best enemy soldiers were. 17 Then the men of the city came out and attacked Joab, and some of the men from David’s soldiers fell in battle; Uriah the Hittite also died.

WEEK 5 Lot: (incest and issues of sobriety) We assume Lot was passed out from wine and had no way to defend himself from the intentions of his daughters. This was most likely untrue and does not justify Lot’s behavior. The truth is that the daughters plotted and Lot accepted out of lust. There may have been other factors which will be explored, one of which is the long term distortion of the father-daughter relationship which should be considered sacred. However, I assume that the notion of being the last man gives one considerable liberties. Yet, this line of thinking is how many of us justify our behavior, whether, incestuous, adulterous, media-based or otherwise. Lot convinced himself that he had no choice. We often do the same with equally disastrous results. The Moabites and the Ammonites were to be two of Israel’s most troublesome enemies. (see the story of Solomon in 1 Kings) Genesis 19:30-38 Lot departed from Zoar and lived in the mountains along with his two daughters, because he was afraid to live in Zoar. Instead, he and his two daughters lived in a cave. 31 Then the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man in the land to sleep with us as is the custom of all the land. 32 Come, let’s get our father to drink wine so that we can sleep with him and preserve our father’s line.” 33 So they got their father to drink wine that night, and the firstborn came and slept with her father; he did not know when she lay down or when she got up.

34 The next day the firstborn said to the younger, “Look, I slept with my father last night. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight so you can go sleep with him and we can preserve our father’s line.” 35 That night they again got their father to drink wine, and the younger went and slept with him; he did not know when she lay down or when she got up.

36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. 37 The firstborn gave birth to a son and named him Moab. He is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger also gave birth to a son, and she named him Ben-ammi. He is the father of the Ammonites of today.

WEEK 6 Solomon: (wisdom is not enough) Obedience is required to accompany great wisdom if it is expected to be truly beneficial and God-honoring. Solomon attempted to serve two masters during his lifetime, both before and after his wisest years. Solomon was wise beyond measure, and for all of his wisdom he struggled with the burden of supernatural knowledge.

Reading Ecclesiastes makes it apparent that for all of the Prophet’s insight, he was depressed by what he saw. (Maybe that is why Proverbs tells us that an awareness of out ignorance is the beginning of wisdom). Consider the observations, “All is vain striving.” Or “For with much wisdom is great sorrow; as knowledge increases, grief increases.” Or “What is crooked cannot be straightened; what is lacking cannot be counted.” The danger in amassing knowledge only, and for its own sake, is cynicism, apathy and despair.

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1 Kings 3:1-3 Solomon made an alliance with Pharaoh king of Egypt by marrying Pharaoh’s daughter. Solomon brought her to live in the city of David until he finished building his palace, the LORD’s temple, and the wall surrounding Jerusalem.

2 However, the people were sacrificing on the high places, because until that time a temple for the LORD’s name had not been built. 3 Solomon loved the LORD by walking in the statutes of his father David, but he also sacrificed and burned incense on the high places. (High places are places of pagan worship).

1 Kings 11:3-8 King Solomon loved many foreign women in addition to Pharaoh’s daughter: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women (Moabites and Ammonites are Lot’s offspring with his daughters) 2 from the nations that the LORD had told the Israelites about, “Do not intermarry with them, and they must not intermarry with you, because they will turn you away from Me to their gods.” Solomon was deeply attached to these women and loved them.

3 He had 700 wives who were princesses and 300 concubines, and they turned his heart away from the LORD. 4 When Solomon was old, his wives seduced him to follow other gods. He was not completely devoted to * Yahweh his God, as his father David had been. 5 Solomon followed Ashtoreth, the goddess of the Sidonians, and Milcom, the detestable idol of the Ammonites. 6 Solomon did what was evil in the LORD’s sight, and unlike his father David, he did not completely follow Yahweh.

7 At that time, Solomon built a high place for Chemosh, the detestable idol of Moab, and for Milcom1 the detestable idol of the Ammonites, on the hill across from Jerusalem. 8 He did the same for all his foreign wives, who were burning incense and offering sacrifices to their gods.

WEEK 7 Samson: (arrogance and lust) He was one of Israel’s judges, though not in the vein of Gideon or Deborah; and like King David he is a hero to most of us. Samson still looms larger than life in popular culture, and is a person we admire because of his fantastic strength. Often we focus solely on his relationship with Delilah, and his destruction of the Philistine meeting place; but there is more to his lifestyle that we should pay attention to. In this larger-than-life drama was a man whose acts also placed him in a company of common slaves; he was ultimately blinded as a lesson on obedience. Samson was born a Nazirite, or one who was set aside from birth, to bring honor to God. These men were visibly noticeable because of their unshorn hair, and abstinence from fermented drink. His visibility and power were also Samson’s undoing. Pride, unbridled lust, and vengeance place us in unholy company. Yet, what we learn is that our personal failures do ultimately glorify God, though at a steep price for our disobedience. Remember, because God can use our disobedience, it does not give us license to sin without consequence.

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Judges 16:1-4 Samson went to Gaza, where he saw a prostitute and went to bed with her.

2 When the Gazites heard that Samson was there, they surrounded the place and waited in ambush for him all that night at the city gate. While they were waiting quietly, they said, “Let us wait until dawn; then we will kill him.” 3 But Samson stayed in bed until midnight when he got up, took hold of the doors of the city gate along with the two gateposts, and pulled them out, bar and all. He put them on his shoulders and took them to the top of the mountain overlooking Hebron.

4 Some time later, he fell in love with a woman named Delilah, who lived in the Sorek Valley.

5 The Philistine leaders went to her and said, “Persuade him to tell you where his great strength comes from, so we can overpower him, tie him up, and make him helpless. Each of us will then give you 1,100 pieces of silver.”

Judges 16:28-30 He called out to the LORD: “Lord GOD, please remember me. Strengthen me, God, just once more. With one act of vengeance, let me pay back the Philistines for my two eyes.” 29 Samson took hold of the two middle pillars supporting the temple and leaned against them, one on his right hand and the other on his left. 30 Samson said, “Let me die with the Philistines.” He pushed with all his might, and the temple fell on the leaders and all the people in it. And the dead he killed at his death were more than those he had killed in his life.

WEEK 8 Paul: (thorn in the flesh) Saul of Tarsus, later called Paul after his conversion, is often referred to as the father of our faith. But even Paul had a past he would rather have forgotten, and had “a thorn in his flesh” that God would not remove. In his new role as ambassador for the fledgling Christian faith he spent significant time in prison. He called himself “an ambassador in chains.” As a Pharisee his most notorious claim is supervising the stoning of St. Stephen. His conversion on the road to Damascus is an iconic event that we often site as “the way God is supposed to intervene.” This is a common way for believers and nonbelievers to illustrate a changed life. Paul is the most prolific author in the New Testament.

Acts 7:57-60 and 8:1-3 Then they screamed at the top of their voices, covered their ears, and together rushed against him. 58 They threw him out of the city and began to stone him. And the witnesses laid their robes at the feet of a young man named Saul. 59 They were stoning Stephen as he called out: “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit! ” 60 Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin! ” And saying this, he fell asleep.

1 Saul agreed with putting him to death. On that day a severe persecution broke out against the church in Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout the land of Judea and Samaria. 2 Devout men buried Stephen and mourned deeply over him. 3 Saul, however, was ravaging the church. He would enter house after house, drag off men and women, and put them in prison.

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2 Corinthians 12:7-10 Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger1 of Satan to torment me so I would not exalt myself. 8 Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times to take it away from me. 9 But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. 10 So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions, and in pressures, because of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The intent in these stories is not to show depravity or apathy, but to illustrate with real lives that the way we live will have consequences, not only visited upon us personally, but affecting others as well. Our lives are like the lives of these men: we generally live decent lives, but our reality is one also of the flesh which demands something of us. To manage these desires, and to keep our lives balanced, we must be ever vigilant. Again, it is not about perfection, but practice and diligence. In Christ we are better men.

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