2018 Revive Our Hearts Summer Newsletter

Summer 2018 Newsletter

Dear friend,

We all want to be free. And God wants us to be free. As Jesus promised, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

We want freedom from our worries, freedom from the pressures and stresses of daily life, freedom from insecurities and fears, and freedom from suffering. But Jesus offers freedom on an even grander scale—He offers us freedom from the power of sin. Freedom from the wrath and judgment of God. Freedom from the sting of death. Freedom for this life and the next.

In order to experience this freedom, we need to know the Truth—His Truth. Not just know it intellectually, but believe it, receive it, and act on it. The Truth is the only thing that has the power to set us free from the bondage of sin, guilt, and shame, from fear of judgment, and more.

“The Truth that sets us free” has been our theme at Revive Our Hearts this year. It will be the theme of True Woman ‘18 in September, as we commemorate the 10th anniversary of the first True Woman National Conference.

We’ve featured this them with the release of the updated and expanded versions of Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free and Lies Young Women Believe (co-authored with Dannah Gresh). And because we all need the Truth, no matter our gender or stage of life, we’re excited to welcome two new additions to the Lies family: •

Lies Men Believe, written by my husband, Robert Wolgemuth – available this September

•

Lies Girls Believe (for tween girls) and A Mom’s Guide, both written by Dannah Gresh – coming next February

The Truth isn’t always popular or easy, but it’s only through the Truth of God’s Word that we will find freedom and abundant life. I’m so thankful for how God is using Revive Our Hearts to point people to the power of God’s Word—and I’m grateful for the crucial role you play in helping us do that. May God bless you as you seek to live each day in the freedom and power of His Truth!

Blessings!

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth

ARE PAIN SUFFERING ALWAYS BAD?

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by Robert Wolgemuth

W

hen it comes to our bodies and exercise, we get the old expression: no pain, no gain.

whether

we are building muscles by lifting weights, or turning down strawberry cheesecake twice in the same day, we know it costs us to get into shape. it’s painful.

and good.

The same is true of our souls. You and I lack steadfastness. We are not perfect, complete. But we will be one day, and trials are the trails that lead us there.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2–4).

It’s God’s intent to use pain, suffering, and hardship in our lives to purify and remake us into the image of His Son, a man well acquainted with sorrow.

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When hard things come our way, we can be confident that God

“When you ask for forgiveness, I will forgive, but I won’t forget,”

is at work in us, and that we will come out on the other side better

Michael Sonnenberg said. “You took a vibrant, bouncing baby and

for it. God disciplines us, not because He is angry with us. No, He

gave me back a smoldering, screaming lump of coal.”

disciplines those He loves in order to teach us (Heb. 12:6). His painful discipline is a gift, proof that He is crazy about us and is at work in us.

T H I S P O I S O N I S H E A L I N G YO U When my brother-in-law, Mark DeMoss, was diagnosed with lymphoma, his doctor prescribed poison. That’s right, the chemo solution that dripped into his bloodstream was poison, aimed at literally killing cancer cells.

Men are fixers, solution-seekers. So when we are hurting, we often want to find a painless solution that will extricate us from the problem. But God may send the poison of pain, suffering, and hardships to help us learn to trust Him, to learn patience.

“A lump of coal,” he added, that turned into a “diamond of sparkling beauty.”

My friend Michael had faced unspeakable loss, tragedy, and pain. But he was willing to forgive and lift the scarred body of his son to the God who loved them both, seeing refracted beauty from the facets of his son’s brokenness as only a man of God possibly could.

A N I M P O R TA N T P R E P O S I T I O N I have stood beside my wife’s grave, grieving as the earth slowly swallowed her casket. You have surely faced your own hard times. So how should we treat these awful things?

The apostle Paul gives us the answer, but please notice the

A D I A M O N D O F S PA R K L I N G B E AU T Y When I was a student at Taylor University, I discovered in Michael Sonnenberg a tender man who loved the Lord and was eager to serve Him. After we graduated I lost track of him . . . until I heard the news of a horrific, tragic accident that nearly snuffed out the life of his twenty-two-month-old son, Joel.

It was September 1979 when an overloaded tractor trailer slammed into the family car at a New Hampshire toll booth. The carnage that ensued literally melted the plastic car seat around the body of little Joel where he was helplessly strapped. A stranger reached into the backseat and pulled the burned child from the flames.

In the years that followed, Michael and his wife, Janet, gently shepherded their little boy through more than forty surgeries.

preposition that opens his admonition: In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thess. 5:18 NASB).

Notice that he did not tell us to give thanks “for” everything . . . rather, “in” everything. I did not celebrate Bobbie’s cancer diagnosis.

We were not happy for the news. But we, along with our daughters, knew that God was wise and good and we trusted that He would bring good out of this human tragedy.

The journey we walked through as a family broke us, shaped us, and molded us more closely into God’s image. Many friends, medical professionals, and others we met along the way were brought face to face with the gospel. And so, in the midst of these painful circumstances, we bowed our hearts and offered up humble thanksgiving.

The accident had burned over 85 percent of Joel’s body, taking

Think about it. . . How do you typically respond to life’s

his ears, his left hand, the fingers on his right hand and most of the

inevitable problems and frustrations? How might you respond

tissue that covered his skull. And yet as Michael and Janet poured the

differently if you believed the Truth about God’s purposes for pain

love of Christ into their young, damaged son, he began to blossom.

and suffering?

Joel grew up an articulate man of insatiable self-respect and character . . . now a pastor with a deep love for God. Almost twenty years after the accident, in court, Mike met the truck driver whose carelessness had crushed his son’s body. In response to the judge’s prompting, the man said a perfunctory “I’m sorry” to the Sonnenbergs.

The Lie: Pain and suffering are always bad.

The Truth: Pain and suffering are tools in God’s wise, loving hands, doing His good work, helping us become more like His Son. And for that, we need to give thanks.

Adapted from Lies Men Believe: And the Truth That Sets Them Free.

Do you believe God’s Truth is more powerful than the enemy’s lies? If so, support Revive Our Hearts by filling out the enclosed reply card. When you do, we’ll send you a pre-release copy of Lies Men Believe! (The official release date is September 4.)

Thanks to your generous support, we can continue to proclaim the Truth that sets us all—both men and women—free!

Summer 2018

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COMING SOON LIES MEN BELIEVE

From the Author’s Wife Over the years, I’ve often been asked when there would be a “male counterpart” to Lies Women Believe. Well, that’s one book I knew wasn’t mine to write! But who should do it? When God brought Robert into my life, it soon became clear that he would be an ideal choice. Robert draws on wisdom gained from many years of experiencing God’s grace, loving His Word, and sharing it with others.

So last summer, we sat out on our deck for days on end—writing “Lies”! Robert wrote Lies Men Believe, while I sat nearby revising

Some of the “lies men believe”

reading portions of what the other had written, and offering input and encouragement to each other.

Robert wrote this book not as a preacher, but as a friend—sitting down with another man or a small group of guys to talk about some of the lies they may be believing . . . and, even more importantly, the

•

Pleasure and entertainment can satisfy me.

•

Real men don’t cry.

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I don’t need male friends.

encourage him as a man of God. Lies Men Believe is a book you’ll want

•

I have sexual needs my wife can’t fulfill.

to share with the men in your life who want to grow in their walk with

•

My faith and my work are unrelated.

•

I’m measured by how I compare with other men.

•

Love doesn’t require spoken words.

“If there ever was such a thing as a ‘shortcut’ to the wisdom of the ages, it’s this book. This is the kind of wisdom that can only be earned over a lifetime of trial and error, trial and error, and, finally, trial and success.

“I doubt there are ten men on the planet who could have written such a book. I have enormous respect for Robert. He has been an adviser, encourager, prayer partner, colleague, and mentor to me for over thirty years.” (Dr. Patrick Morley, bestselling author, Man in the Mirror Ministry)

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the original Lies Women Believe. We interacted frequently on both,

ReviveOurHearts.com

power of the Truth to set them free.

Robert appreciates it when I recommend a book that I think will

Christ.

PAULA: How can women encourage a husband, dad, son, or

A Conversation with the Author

other man in their life to read this book, without making him feel

Paula Marsteller, a Revive Our Hearts writer, spoke with

pressured or uncomfortable?

Robert about his latest book.

ROBERT: Well, a woman could give the book at a man. “Here.

P AULA : Okay, big picture question: Which is your favorite

Read this.” Or she could whine about the fact that he spends too

book you’ve written, and how does Lies Men Believe: And the

much time doing worthless things. Or she could lay it on his pillow

Truth That Sets Them Free compare?

before he crawls in bed. I do not recommend these approaches.

ROBERT: Let’s say you and Trevor have five kids, and I’ve just

In my experience, men are generally not offended by a kind,

asked which is your favorite. I can’t say. I really can’t. My hope is

gentle request from a woman who they know loves them. You

all the books I’ve written turn people to the Word and encourage

might try something like this (especially if you know he has an

men in their walk with God. I want a guy to see me as his friend,

interest in spiritual matters): “There’s something that would mean

his companion, his ally.

a lot to me. I would love it if you’d read Lies Men Believe. I’ve

PAULA: How did you choose the lies in this book?

ROBERT: I corresponded with the publisher, spoke with the

heard it’s a wonderful read; the author’s wife is someone I trust . . . and she says the book is really good.” I think there are few men who would respond negatively to that approach.

guys who work for me, and spent some time in Lies Women Believe, since this is a companion book. That gave me general headings for the book. Then I invited my pastor and several smart men to a half-day meeting, and we wrestled with it: what’s missing, what’s here that shouldn’t be here . . . it was a miserable meeting. I left with more work to do by a long shot. But it was so helpful. They contributed greatly. Of course, Nancy was also a huge help in narrowing down the list of lies.

P AULA : What kind of man did you have in mind when you wrote this?

ROBERT: Someone younger than me—most of them are now.

I’d say a Christian man in his 30s and 40s. Not so old that he’s deeply grooved in some of these patterns, but old enough to know his besetting sins and eager to do something about them.

PAULA: What is one truth you wrote about that you think is particularly important for men to believe, and why?

ROBERT: I think the most important part of this book is the opening section. When I sat down to write this book, I really wrestled with the fact that Paul says Eve was deceived and Adam was not (1 Tim. 2:14). As I thought and prayed and talked about it with Nancy, I realized that at the core of men’s sinfulness is the fact that our sin is intentional. We are not deceived.

I’ve even seen it over the last few weeks: revelations of men falling into sin. They knew exactly what they were doing. This isn’t like being blindsided. It’s an intentional decision, with the expectation that they’ll get away with it. I’m going to exchange

AVAILABLE IN SEPTEMBER!

what I know is right for the pleasure I’m going to get out of it.

Someday, somehow, I’ll work this out.

It’s stunning to me, but I think this is a common man problem.

“I’ll figure it out.” That’s why the first chapter in the book is called “Crossing the Bridge When We Get There.”

Summer 2018

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IS GROWING!

THE LIES FAMILY 6

ReviveOurHearts.com

Your daughter is growing up in a very different world than you did.

The lies of the Enemy seem to be coming stronger and sooner than ever before. How do you help the girl you love become a godly woman someday? By equipping her with the Truth.

COMING FEBRUARY 19

Men, women, and teens aren’t the only ones who’ve been lied to. Our tween girls (7-12 year olds) are being lied to as well, and they need the Truth to set them free.

Lies Girls Believe will teach your daughter the truths of God she needs to know to navigate the challenges she will face. And the Mom’s Guide will help you feel confident and prepared as you talk with your daughter about God’s Truth and the lies she’ll encounter in the world.

Together, these two books give you safe, age-appropriate ways to discuss sensitive topics from a biblical perspective.

You can’t change the world, but you can prepare your daughter to face it.

The Truth is your best weapon against the enemy’s lies. Get equipped.

“No Man, No Kids, Please!”

NEDELKA MEDINA’S STORY

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Marriage Troubles t the age of nine ,

nedelka medina

resolved that

men were bad and she never wanted children.

So when Nedelka married Diego Medina, it’s no wonder their

(why

marriage seemed doomed from the start. When Diego would

would she risk them enduring what she had experienced as a

suggest something, Nedelka would shoot back, “No, that’s wrong.

child?)

We’re going to do this.” They fought constantly.

Abuse, Anorexia, and Attempted Suicide At the tender age of six, her family’s trusted chauffeur had begun to sexually abuse her. The abuse lasted two years, and then when she was nine, Nedelka’s family left Nicaragua.

As Nedelka grew older, she couldn’t shake the memories.

She decided to deal with the pain by punishing her body through anorexia. By eighteen, her condition was chronic. At twenty-three, she was attempting suicide by starvation.

God Interrupts Death But as Nedelka sat in her dark apartment, waiting for death, she sensed she heard God directing her, Go to Nicaragua, and you will meet me there.

When she landed in Nicaragua, her mother—who had moved back, become a Christian, and been praying for Nedelka—took her to a Bible study.

That night, Nedelka approached God. She prayed, “You brought me here. Where are You? I don’t have the God that lady in that meeting was talking about. Please, come and save me!”

All Things New

Why did I get married? Nedelka wondered. I never wanted to be married! She sat down at her computer to search for answers.

What did Scripture say about being a wife?

The first link she saw was Revive Our Hearts. Nedelka clicked through and devoured article after article. She then bought the book, Lies Women Believe: And the Truth That Sets Them Free.

As she read, she learned that God had made men and women in His image. Men weren’t inherently bad because they were men; sin is the real problem—for both men and women.

Diego noticed the change in Nedelka immediately. He remembers, “There were hardly any arguments, and when there were, they were very civilized. We were able to talk. It was just radical.”

A Stirring Nancy’s book also addressed the second lie Nedelka had believed: the lie about children. As Nedelka read on, she began to feel an awakening regarding children. She realized that children are a blessing from the Lord, and for the first time in her life, she was open to the idea of becoming a mom.

But when Diego and Nedelka realized they weren’t having

When she woke up the next morning, everything was new. She

biological children, they wondered if the Lord might want them

felt hungry for the first time in years. After eating a home-cooked

to adopt children. And so their family began to grow: first a sibling

meal, she opened the Bible and spent days feasting on the Word.

group of three, then a baby boy, and finally a girl.

As she did, she began to understand what had happened to her and who she now was in Christ.

Now, when asked how she feels about being a mom, Nedelka will tell you, “I was made for this.” God’s truth has set her free

For the next several years, Nedelka grew in her faith and

to delight in her current roles as wife and mom. She no longer

served as a single woman, but deep down, those two lies still

distrusts men or resists children, because God’s light has spilled

affected her: Men couldn’t be trusted, and she could never have

over into her darkest moments, and she has found Him to be

children.

completely good and trustworthy.

Summer 2018

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PO Box 2000 • Niles, MI 49120 • ReviveOurHearts.com • 800.569.5959 Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, Copyright © 2001, Crossway Bibles, esv.org. Used by permission.

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Editorial: Mindy Kroesche, Paula Marsteller, Hayley Mullins Art Direction: Benjamin Hannah Design: Nicole Tejera Photographers: Lightstock, Nathan Bollinger