Philadelphia presents The 2nd Annual
Pins & Heels
New Year’s Party!
Kick Off Your Heels, Knock Down Some Pins & ‘Roll” into 2015 with Lucky Strike! DJ, Dancing, Party Favors & Champagne Toast at Midnight! 11 HUGE Screens To Watch the Ball Drop! NYE-2015 Lucky Strike Package Options: $40 Bowling Package from 10:30p-12:30a for a minimum of 4 to maximum 8 guests per lane.
2 PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | DECEMBER 24-31, 2014 | PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM
- Includes unlimited bowling, shoe rentals, passed appetizers, party favors & champagne toast.
$30 Bowling Package from 8p-10p for a minimum of 4 to maximum 8 guests per lane.
- Includes unlimited bowling, shoe rentals, passed appetizers, party favors & champagne toast.
**Space & lanes are limited so call to reserve your spot today!
$5 General Admission after 9pm *Must Be 21 & Over w/ Proper ID. Proper Dress Required.
Call 2 1 5 5 4 5 2 4 7 1 between 10a-6p to reserve your lane or for more information. Lucky Strike Philadelphia | 1336 Chestnut Street - Center City
w w w. b ow l l u c k yst r i ke.co m
CONTENTS / December 24-31 4 I PHILLYNOW Boxing Day Beer Festival; Moo Shu Jew Show; Eight Wines to Try Before You Die; Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland; and more.
8 I FOOD & DRINK New Year’s Eve cocktail guide. PLUS: Five beers to toast 2015.
10 I ARTS & CULTURE Music: What songs give you the strength to make it through? PLUS: Aretha and the Top 10 shows in Philly this week. Screen: Into the Woods shows how small changes to fairy tale tropes often make the biggest difference.
14 I PHRANKLY... The Uncomfortable Whole: Fighting the urge for retail rage. Timaree’s Body: That dude in yoga class. 16 I ADULT 16 I SAVAGE LOVE
11 Critical HomeHome Inspection 11 Critical Traps to be Aware of Inspection Traps to be WeeksofBefore Aware WeeksListing Before Listing Your Home for Sale Your Home for Sale Philadelphia- According to industry experts, there are over 33 physical problems that will come under scrutiny during a home inspection when your home is for sale. A new report has been prepared which identifies the eleven most common problems, and what you should know about them before you list your home for sale. Whether you own an old home or a brand new one, there are a number of things that can fall short of requirements during home inspection. If not identified and dealt with, any of these 11 items could cost you dearly in terms of repair. That’s why it’s critical that you read this report before you list your home. If you wait until the building inspector flags these issues for you, you will almost certainly experience costly delays in the close of your home sale or, worse, turn prospective buyers away altogether. In most cases, you can make reasonable
pre-inspection yourself if you know what you’re looking for, and knowing what you’re looking for can help you prevent little problems from growing into costly and unmanageable ones. To help homesellers deal with this issue before their homes are listed, a free report entitled “11 Things You Need To Know To Pass Your Home Inspection” has been compiled which explains the issues involved. To order a FREE Special Report, visit www.phillysbesthomes.com/ inspection.asp or to hear a brief recorded message about home to order your FREE copy of this report call toll-free (800) 560-2075 and enter 3003. • You can call any time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Get your special report NOW to learn to ensure a home inspection doesn’t cost you the sale of your home.
This report is courtesy of Larry Levin, Realtor, Coldwell Banker Preferred. Not intended to solicit buyers or sellers currently under contract. Copyright © 2013
20 I REAL ESTATE 22 I OPEN HOUSE
PW / About Us Philadelphia Weekly has been named 2014’s Best Overall Non-Daily Newspaper by Pennsylvania’s Society of Professional Journalists.
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Editor in Chief Stephen H. Segal Managing Editor Anastasia Barbalios Arts & Culture Editor Sheena Lester Columnists Jared Axelrod, Bill Chenevert, Brian Freedman, Josh Kruger, J. Cooper Robb, Genevieve Valentine Contributing Photographers J.R. Blackwell, Kyle Cassidy Editorial Interns Jake Abbate, Jill Castellano, Michael Guise, Albert Hong, Paulina Jayne Isaac, Lera Salmon, Corey Stern Advertising Manager Deidre Simms (ext. 163) Retail Account Executives Jasmine Ingram (ext. 144), Brandon Szeker (ext. 118) Classified Senior Account Executive John Maguire (ext. 126) Classified Account Executives Arnetta Reddy (ext. 100), Susanna Simon (ext. 134) National Advertising Sales VMG Advertising 1-888-278-9866 Office Manager Morgan Smith (ext. 101) Philadelphia Weekly is published Wednesday by Review Publishing Limited Partnership. Distributed in Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery and Chester counties in Pennsylvania and selected other locations in southern New Jersey. Philadelphia Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies of the current issue of the Philadelphia Weekly may be obtained only by Philadelphia Weekly’s authorized contractors or Philadelphia Weekly distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Philadelphia Weekly, take more than one copy of each Philadelphia Weekly issue. Pennsy.lvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into a newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Mail subscriptions: six months, $30; one year, $55. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the management. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising. Contents copyright © 2014 by Philadelphia Weekly. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.
REVIEW PUBLISHING Chairman & CEO Anthony A. Clifton Chief Operating Officer John Gallo Vice President James Stokes Help Desk Jeanne Terne Webmaster Kaitlin DeRoo Production Manager Holly Siemon Senior Graphic Designer LeTera Haynes 1971-1995 Welcomat
BRUNCH Open (11:30am - 2:30pm)
Saturday & Sunday
à la carte or 3 course prix fixe for $25 HAPPY HOUR (5:30pm - 7pm) Monday - Friday
$2 Beer $3 Wine $4 Kirs Half Priced Appetizers
623 S. 6th St.
(Just off Bainbridge St.)
215.925.8000
Philly Beer Week 2015 begins May 29th!
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM | DECEMBER 24-31, 2014 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY 3
1617 JFK Blvd., Suite 1005 Philadelphia, PA 19103 Main phone: 215.563.7400 www.philadelphiaweekly.com facebook.com/phillyweekly twitter.com/phillyweekly
DRINK
Boxing Day Beer Festival
Pour out some generosity: For its Boxing Day Beer Festival, one of Philly’s last drink events of 2014 and a kiss on the forehead of England’s traditional day-after-Christmas holiday, Memphis Taproom is also hosting a food drive alongside the all-out celebration of craft brews, collecting non-perishable donations for Philabundance, the region’s largest hunger relief organization. So on Dec. 26, don’t let the holiday spirit fizzle out—instead, plan to let specially-selected stouts, porters and winter seasonals from Germany, Belgium, Denmark, Montréal and Norway melt away any leftover stress. Beers on draft at the Boxing Day Beer Festival include Blaugies Special Winter Ale, Struise T’Jesses Reserva 2012, Mikkeller Santas Helper, Kulmbacher Eisbock, Geant’s Noel and lots of tasty others, so don’t miss out on the rich variety of mahogany-hued ales flavored with hints of hazelnut, toffee, cinnamon, caramel and even more spices sure to capture—and boost—good cheer. For every draft beer sold, a dollar will be donated to Share Our Strength, a nonprofit organization that helps to provide healthy, budget-friendly meals for school lunch programs, as well as individual families. If there was ever an occasion to venture out for a quick sip—whether with friends and fam, or to avoid them—you’ve found it. // LERA SALMON Fri., Dec. 26, 11:30am. Free. Memphis Taproom. 2331 E. Cumberland St. memphistaproom.com
WHAT’S HAPPENING — BEFORE IT HAPPENS ... Wednesday, December 24 SHOW
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Moo Shu Jew Show
Christmas Eve is a night of many traditions: stylish sweaters, caroling and leaving out cookies for Santa. But for Jews, it famously means one thing: Chinese food. For the past six years, Philadelphia’s members of the tribe have enjoyed this Dec. 24 tradition mixing Chinese food with Jewish comedy. This year’s show features Stewie Stone, Robin Fox, Jon Fisch and Emmy winner
Dave Konig. 6pm. $69-$80. Ocean Harbor Restaurant, 1023 Race St. mooshujewshow.com MUSIC
Festivus
All-Star Jam Members of JAH People, Roots, West Philadelphia Orchestra, Circadian Rhythms, iNFiNiEN and The Beating make beautiful noise in the name of artist unity. 8pm. $8. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. kungfunecktie.com
Thursday, December 25 KIDS
Disney on Ice: Frozen
Mickey and Minnie Mouse serve as hosts of this magical musical extravaganza that’s chock full of everything you—yeah, yeah, and your kids—love about the film. Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St. wellsfargocenterphilly.com EVENT
Being ____ at Christmas
On a day when most of the city is closed for Christmas, the National Museum of American Jewish History presents a day of comedy, storytelling, arts and crafts and dancing. Hit
the dance floor with Baby Loves Disco; get your hands dirty with the Clay Studio, and bust a gut with a comedic performance from The Great Holtzie. 10am. National Museum of American Jewish History, 101 Independence Mall. nmajh.org PART Y
Jungle Bells
For the second year in a row, Mike Saga presents this Jungle & Drum BASSmas party with cheap drinks and sick beats. Dance the night away to the sounds of DJs Vinyl Fatigue, Hidro, Jefe, SixPak and Trixx, as well as MC’s Ixia, Dirtywork and Overdub. 9pm. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave.
Philadelphiaweekly.com | DECEMBER 24-31, 2014 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY 5
PHILLYNOW Friday, December 26 S TAG E
Stomp
The renowned, rule-breaking percussion group uses everything but traditional instruments to get a beat going. Marvel at the music that can be made from brooms, paint cans, plungers, plastic bags and even lighters. 8pm. $39.50-$75. Through Dec. 30. Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad Street. kimmelcenter.org COM E DY
The N Crowd: Holiday Hangover
Forget the sunglasses and Advil—cure your holiday hangover with one of Philly’s funniest acts. Since 2005, The N Crowd improv comedy troupe has performed in the area more than 500 times, using audience suggestions to create unique and hilarious performances each night. 7:30pm. $12-$15. The Actors Center, 257 N. Third St. 215.253.4276. phillyncrowd.com D RIN K
Eight Wines to Try Before You Die
If you’re lucky, this oenophilially hedonistic event might not be sold out yet: the Wine School’s grape-loving gurus saying never mind to Frasieresque cork-snobbery and simply making their case for the eight most exquisitely delicious wines they’ve ever tasted—wines that offer what they call “uncompromising lust-inducing brain-melting flavor.”7:30pm. $64.98. Wine School of Philadelphia, 127 S. 22nd St. 215.965.1514. vinology.com EX HI BI T
Books of Secrets: Writing and Reading Alchemy
For centuries, books and manuscripts were the alchemist’s primary tools for disseminating ideas, techniques and secrets. In a unique visual portrayal, Books of Secrets: Writing and Reading Alchemy places actual manuscripts used by alchemists next to historical artworks portraying their use. Through Sept. 4. Chemical Heritage Foundation, 315 Chestnut St. chemheritage.org S HOPPING
6 PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | DECEMBEr 24-31, 2014 | Philadelphiaweekly.com
Christmas Village in Philadelphia
Christmas may pass, but the village remains! This holiday transformation of LOVE Park features food, performances and assorted bits of German culture. Shop for belated gifts from more than 60 vendors; taste traditional European food, sweets and drinks, including German bratwurst or schnitzel; take a tasting tour with Chaddsford Winery; listen to live music and much more. 11am-7pm. Free. Through Dec. 28. LOVE Park, 1500 Arch St. philachristmas.com
Laurel Hill Cemetery (Photo by J.R. Blackwell)
TO U R
Hot Spots and Storied Plots
As part of its Fourth Friday tour series, Laurel Hill Cemetery gives visitors a glimpse into the cemetery’s long history dating back to 1836. Guide Sonia Krutzken shares legends and stories that go along with the historic resting place of some of Philadelphia’s most prominent citizens. 10am. $8. Laurel Hill Cemetary, 3822 Ridge Ave. 215.228.8200. thelaurelhillcemetary.org
Saturday, December 27 S CRE E N
The Legend of Sarila
Three young Inuit nomads embark on a journey to discover a hidden promised land that will save their tribe from starvation. They’ll face an evil nemesis hoping to sabotage their journey, among other dangerous obstacles, in this animated film that brings the meaning of friendship alive. 11:45am. $1-$9. PFS Theater at the Roxy,
2023 Sansom St. filmadelphia.org TA L K
Boss Lady Tea
It’s like a support system for ambitious women: Ladies in attendance will discuss brainstorming strategies, how to stay organized, revenue expansion and even “defining your niche.” 2pm. $55. Restaurant XIX, 200 S. Broad St.
HO L IDAY
Macy’s Family Fun Day at AAMP: Kwanzaa Celebration
A day full of programming, from lighting the candles of the kinara to discussion of the Nguzo Saba, targets kids ages five through 11. 10am. Free with museum admission. The African American Museum of Philadelphia, 701 Arch Street. 215.574.0380. aampmuseum.org
SCREEN
Sing-A-Long Sound of Music
A screening of the classic Julie Andrews musical in full-screen technicolor will come complete with subtitles for an entire audience sing-along. To kick it up a notch, there’ll be a fancy-dress competition too. 7pm. $16. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. philly.worldcafelive.com
PHILLYNOW Sunday, December 28 P ERF OR MA NCE
Through Jan. 4. Penn’s Landing Playhouse, 211 South Columbus Blvd. plplayhouse.com
Another Christmas with the Calamari Sisters
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (Photo by J.R. Blackwell)
MUSIC
Delphine and Carmela Calamari return with a show full of holiday favorites like “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree,” “Santa Baby” and “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” It’s been a year since the drag sisters were whisked away from public access cable and ushered into Food Network stardom. Join them for a Feast of the Seven Fishes holiday extravaganza full of food, dance and song. 2pm. $45-$65.
Salute to Vienna New Year’s Concert
The Strauss Symphony of America and Philly POPS join to perform famous Viennese works, accompanied by singers and dancer from across Europe. 2:30pm. $41-$111. Verizon Hall, Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. 215.893.1999. kimmelcenter.org
Monday, December 29 S TAG E
O U T DO O R
Featuring magic and comedy acts, including a straitjacket escape, psychic sisters, sleight of hand, improv comedy and much more. 2pm. $8-$15. Playground at the Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St. fredsmagicworld.com
This holiday celebration has something for everyone: train rides, handmade gifts, local beers and more. Check out the Electrical Spectacle Holiday Light Show, an homage to our own kite-flying lightning wizard, Ben Franklin. Franklin Square. historicphiladelphia.org
Franklin Square Holiday Festival
Fred’s Magic World: Winter Wonders
Tuesday, December 30 S TAG E
EX H I B I T
Based on the classic Disney film, Mary Poppins follows a magical nanny who appears at the Banks household to care for young Jane and Michael. Adventure follows as they encounter dancing chimney sweeps and other colorful characters. Through Jan. 4. $72-$82. Walnut Street Theatre, 852 Walnut St. 215.574.3550. walnutstreettheatre.org
Artist Christopher Marley’s mosaics feature actual specimens of beetles, butterflies, maggots, worms and other such tiny creepy-crawlies. The 3-D pieces reveal the natural beauty of the often-ignored creatures. Through Jan. 11. Academy of Natural Sciences, 900 Ben Franklin Pkwy. ansp.org
Mary Poppins
Pinned: Insect Art, Insect Science
STAG E
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
Bored with being treated like a child, Alice follows her curiosity down a rabbit hole and into a surreal world of fantastical weirdoes. Actress Emiley Kiser plays the titular role, supported by Quintessence regulars Sean Close, Sean Bradley, Johnny Smith and Andrew Betz. Through Jan. 4. Sedgwick Theater, 7137 Germantown Ave. quintessencetheatre.org
Wednesday, December 31 // New Year’s Eve 2015 Seven parties under one roof. 9pm. $79. XFINITY Live!, 1100 Pattison Ave. nyephilly.com
15 at the Piazza
Masquerade ball with DJs Mark Eteson, SatOne, S3T1, Adrian Hardy and Anthony Sojo. 9pm. The Piazza at Schmidt’s,1050 N Hancock St. nyephilly.com
New Year’s Eve Parties on Ice
Pin and Heels New Year’s Party
Unlimited bowling, party favors and a champagne toast at midnight. 8pm. $30-$40. Lucky Strike, 1336 Chestnut St. bowlluckystrike. com
New Year’s Eve Ghost Tour
Spooky candlelight adventure and champagne “toast with a ghost.” 7pm. $25. Powel House. 244 S. Third Street. ghosttour.com
Snacks, face painting, crafts and entertainment by Mummertime. $3-$40. Blue Cross RiverRink. 531 N. Columbus Boulevard Penn’s Landing. delawareriverwaterfront.com
All Access NYE Party Pass
DJ Cedric Gervais
Grammy Award-winning DJ Cedric Gervais drops his pulse-pounding beats at Soundgarden Hall. 9pm. $69-$149. Soundgarden Hall, 520 N. Delaware Ave. nyephilly.com
Family New Year’s Eve
Philadelphia Orchestra
Just Breathe: Yoga White Party
Midwinter Night’s Dream
Snacks, noisemakers and fireworks. 4-7pm. $10-$13.50. Independence Seaport Museum, 211 S. Columbus Blvd. phillyseaport.org Practice calming exercises, yoga postures and breathing techniques. 5:30pm. Philadelphia Museum of Art, 26th Street & Benjamin Franklin Parkway. philamusem.org
Red 40 & The Last Groovement
Lead by Yannick Nezet-Seguin. 7:30pm. $70$135. Kimmel Center. 300 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org
Dinner, drinks, live music, DJs and more. 9pm. $125. Hotel Monaco, 433 Chestnut St. 215.925.2111. monaco-philadelphia.com
Philly Bloco
Bounce between 10 of Center City’s hottest bars and restaurants. 9pm. $99. 16th and Market sts. nyephilly.com
Beer garden bonfire and performance from Red 40 & the Last Groovement. 11pm. $15. FringeArts, 140 N Columbus Blvd. 215.413.9006. fringearts.com
A mash-up of samba, funk and reggae. 9:30pm. $25-$35. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive.com
Go-Go NYE: A Funk & Classic Disco Dance Party
NYE Party & Tango Dance
Last Comic Standing winner. 10:30pm. Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St. 215.496.9001. heliumcomedy.com/philadelphia
DJ Bruce Easley and go-go dancing from the Trestle Specials. 9pm. $25-$30. The Trestle Inn, 11th and Callowhill sts. thetrestleinn.com
DJs Pablo Garcia Gomez and Krissy McFadden and a live Cortinas performance. 8pm. $40-$50. Ruba Club Studios, 414 Green St. philadelphiatangoschool.com
Alonzo Bodden
See the complete list at ph.ly/NYE2015
Philadelphiaweekly.com | DECEMBER 24-31, 2014 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY 7
NYE at XFINITY Live!
FOOD & DRINK FIV E B EER S
NEW YEAR ON TAP
1
Allagash Interlude. Tradition dictates that when the ball drops on New Year’s Eve, you toast in the coming year with a drink of champagne. Well, tradition can take a hike as far as we’re concerned. There is no reason you can’t swap out the bubbly for a well-chosen beer. Allagash Interlude, for instance, would make an excellent champagne replacement for your New Year’s toast. Beginning life as a vibrant farmhouse ale, the folks at Allagash add Brettanomyces yeast to lend an earthy character to the beer, then age it in French oak wine barrels. That aging imparts a vinous character that will grab the attention of your wine snob friends while adding complexity that will delight even the most jaded of beer lovers. Bubbly, zesty, lively, this is a beer worthy of a champagne glass. Get an early taste at Flanigan’s Boathouse, Pitchers Pub, Tria Taproom and Two Stones Pub Kennet Square.
2
Long Trail Berliner Weisse. If, after a long night of New Year’s Eve partying, you still want to hoist a glass when the ball drops, but want neither champagne nor a beer that is going to make the rest of your evening even fuzzier than it already is, effervescent low-alcohol styles like the Berliner Weisse are a great choice. They can be hard to track down, but Vermont’s Long Trail is making it easy with this entry to their Brown Bag series. At just 3.4 percent ABV, you won’t have to worry about putting yourself over the top. Even more importantly, this is a tasty, affordable beer that can easily replace your champagne. The carbonation is brisk; the flavor and aroma suggest lemongrass, acidic fruits and light wheat; the finish is dry and crisp. It’s all capped off with a tart, lactic tang at the end that will re-awaken your party-weary taste buds. Doobies Bar has some. Go try it.
3
8 PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | DECEMBEr 24-31, 2014 | Philadelphiaweekly.com
Cigar City Fight the Power. If you really really want to buck tradition for your New Year’s toast, skip both the champagne and the beer, and try a cider instead. Ciders are bigger than ever these days, and when you taste efforts like this one from the folks at Cigar City, Florida’s finest craft brewers, you’ll understand why. Fight the Power is a sour apple cider. Golden orange with little in the way of carbonation, it’s a risky pick for toasting—you traditionally toast with the bubbly stuff, after all—but it’s so elegant a drink, you won’t mind. Plenty of sour apple in the aroma, while the taste is like crystal clear apple juice with some candied tartness, a hint of grassy earthiness and a mildly puckering sour finish. A very tasty way to buck tradition! Try it on draft at Barcade, Alla Spina, Perch Pub and a half-dozen other locations around the city.
4
Boulevard Tank 7 Saison. If you plan to ditch the champagne on New Year’s and toast with a good craft beer instead—and we suggest you do, though admittedly we’re a bit biased—you want something brisk, bubbly and a little bit classy. Saisons fit the bill, and a damn fine one is Tank 7 by the brewers at Boulevard, out of Kansas City. Straw colored with a white head that quickly dissipates, aromas of hay, bananas and grassy fields prepare you for similar tastes, upon which are piled tropical fruit, a touch of sweet cereal and black pepper. Plenty of citrus and generous carbonation ensure this will grab your attention when you hoist your glass—and that’s not a bad thing. Try it for yourself at Kraftwork, The Industry, London Grill and other locations.
5
Victory Golden Monkey. The key to choosing the right beer to toast with on New Year’s Eve is making a selection that will feel as refined as a champagne, will feel like you’re drinking something truly special, and that you’ll be eager to share with others. You also want light in body (but not in flavor), highly carbonated and a touch of elegance. The great state of Pennsylvania plays host to a stellar beer called Golden Monkey, brewed by Victory, and it ticks off every box on that checklist and then some. This golden Belgian-style tripel has a light, effervescent body that belies its robust alcohol content. Fruity notes greet your nose in a fragrant bouquet, and the taste reveals a subtle blend of herbal qualities, sweet malts, balancing bitterness and a touch of the outdoors. Available at more than a half-dozen locations, including The Cambridge and Isaac Newton’s, Golden Monkey is a perfect toasting beer. | ERIC SAN JUAN
20 Toasts to 2015 New Year’s Eve cocktails? Choose quality over quantity. By Brian Freedman // bfreedman@philadelphiaweekly.com
I
remember celebrating the turn of the millennium back on Dec. 31, 1999—or, rather, I heard rumors that I did so. I have no actual recollection of the night much past the third martini. I do, however, recall the utter shame I felt the next morning. First my right eye opened, then my left, and then I was completely blindsided, as I lay there in bed, by a tidal wave of regret the likes of which I hadn’t felt in years. Fuzzy images of impromptu karaoke clouded my head. I was burdened with the nagging thought that, at some point, I’d spilled vodka down a friend’s dress while my girlfriend stood by in horror. My mouth tasted like yesterday’s general’s chicken, and a crusted over glop of it still clung to the corner of my mouth. Turns out that five or six cocktails is not a good idea, no matter how big the New Year’s celebration. Which is why, this year, we’ve compiled this roundup of the best NYE cocktails around: so you’ll know exactly where to go and what to get, and you won’t have to drink your way through too many of them, risking excess along the way, just to find the right one. It’s not a complete list, of course, but it is a very good start. Cocktail genius Lê at Hop Sing Laundromat recently rolled out a holiday-season drink called the Freddie Freeloader, made with Dobel Maestro Reposado Tequila, Green Chartreuse and Noilly Prat Ambré Vermouth. It’s served over a large ice chunk, and garnished with a twist of lemon. At Le Cheri, guests can enjoy a Calvados Sidecar in a spiced-sugar-rimmed glass with lemon juice and Bauchant. Sbraga is taking the sparkling cocktail route and offering special ones for both men and women as an amuse at the start of the meal. For La Rosita—“the little rose,” for women—bartender Ben Logue brings together blanco tequila, Peychaud’s bitters and rose syrup, all topped off with sparkling wine, and garnished with a twist of lemon. Men will get a different one specifically for them, and as of the time of this writing, it was under development. And at Chef Kevin Sbraga’s newly opened Juniper Commons, General Manager Tom Pittakas has created the Spruce Martinez, which sounds perfect for the brisk weather with its combination of Tanqueray Old Tom Gin, homemade spruce cordial and Dolin Sweet Vermouth. (And when you’re there, make sure to try his astounding and plentiful riffs on the classic gin and tonic.) Alla Spina is featuring cocktails for the occasion that are provided by Philadelphia Distilling. The Penn 75 combines Penn 1681 Vodka, lemon, a ginger simple syrup and Prosecco; and on tap (yes: A cocktail on tap!) is a Bluecoat Gin Negroni Alla Spina. Kensington Quarters is also leaning on gin with the Wishbone, which harnesses the complexity of Death’s Door Gin and adds to it lemon, Prosecco and Dolin Blanc. McGillin’s Olde Ale House is featuring a poinsettia punch, and the twist is that it’s a make-your-own treat. Cook and Shaker is mixing up the 11:59 from Bluecoat Gin, simple syrup, absinthe, orange bitters, sparkling wine and a bit of orange juice. At The Treemont, A Study In Scarlet, based on the Fraise Sauvage, is crafted from gin, house-made strawberry cordial, simple syrup, lemon juice and sparkling wine, garnished with a twist of lemon. Abe Fisher is offering The Talented Mrs. Fisher, a bellini-style refresher with sour cherry puree and Vecchio Amaro del Capo sparkled up with Casa Del Mar Cava. Jerry’s Bar is serving Allagash White Ale alongside Bernheim Wheat Whiskey—they’re calling it the City Witt. Jerry’s is
Make a wish: Kensington Quarters has a Wishbone with your name on it. (Photo by J.R. Blackwell)
also offering a Champagne punch enlivened with the flavors of grapefruit and Aperol. The wonderfully named Chateau du Bois at Barren Hill Tavern and Brewery, is a beer inspired by Champagne, named after the new Head Brewer David Wood (“wood” in French is bois), and that is being made with Nelson Sauvin hops and the juice of Chardonnay grapes. Devil’s Den and the Old Eagle Tavern will also be including it in their New Year’s toast festivities, in addition to sparkling wine. (Barren Hill will only be toasting with the Chateau du Bois.) Actual wine is being harnessed for the Greek Winter Sangria at Opa: Greek red wine is sweetened with a fig puree and joined by Greek brandy, orange juice, apple cider and lime juice. At the Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia, guests will be able to indulge in a sparkling winter sangria, a house-crafted blend of fresh juices with a hit of Cognac and the celebratory fizz of sparkling wine. Sofitel is hosting a vintage-inspired NYE party, and one of their featured cocktails will be a Moscow Mule crafted with ginger puree whipped up in-house. Davio’s is pouring the Buon Anno, in which Grand Marnier and Cognac are given lift from Prosecco or Champagne and garnished with a twist of lemon or orange. Bistro St. Tropez is pouring a French 75, with lemon juice, simple syrup, gin and Champagne. In the suburbs, Dettera will have a Maple Bourbon Sour in which rosemary perfumes a combination of maple-syrup-sweetened Bourbon cut through with lemon juice. And Isabella will offer the Bella Bellini, in which Champagne dances with pineapple, lemon, elderflower and raspberry puree. Which is all to say that you really have no excuse this year to not drink well. Just limit your consumption. There are few worse ways to start off the new year than with a hangover and dried chicken sauce clinging to your lip seven hours later.
Philadelphiaweekly.com | DECEMBER 24-31, 2014 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY 9
MUSIC HO L IDAY
Songs of Peace & Resolve PW wondered: As we face both the holiday season and a time of civil unrest in America, what songs help you find peace, hope and determination?
The Grand Slambovians (Photo by Tom Moore)
THE TOP 10 SHOWS AROUND PHILLY THIS WEEK
1 2 3 4
Aretha Franklin Dec. 29, the Kimmel Center. ‘Cause it’s her, for crissakes. Need convincing, heathen youngster? See below for more. kimmelcenter.com Rebirth Brass Band Dec. 26, Union Transfer. Here comes the boom, brought by the best New Orleans has got. And that’s really saying something. utphilly.com Don McCloskey Dec. 26, Tin Angel. This songwriter-producer’s eclectic music’s been featured in an array of TV shows and films. Find out why. tinangel.com
10 PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | DECEMBEr 24-31, 2014 | Philadelphiaweekly.com
Post-Christmas Evening of Folk: Under This Fire, Cardigan Terrace featuring The Flashing Thoughts + Mike Bailer Dec. 26, North Star Bar. Duh: The night’s name is all the descriptor you need, and this mix of talent promises to leave you satisfied. northstarbar.com
5 6 7 8 9 10
Creepoid + Amanda X Dec. 27, Boot and Saddle. A night experiencing these two proven-awesome Philly acts live is one sure to be well-spent. bootandsaddlephilly.com Crucial Dec. 27, MilkBoy Philly. Want to fit some righteous reggae rocking into your post-holiday party plans? Look no further, friend. milkboyphilly.com Lotus Dec. 27-28, Electric Factory. The Beating opens on Saturday; Kung Fu + Kilowatts do on Sunday. So, either night’s a winner. electricfactory.info mewithoutYou Dec. 28, Johnny Brenda’s. Their October gig at the Troc sold out, so chances are, this one will, too—if it’s not already. And it very well could be. Shrug. johnnybrendas.com Television Dec. 29, Theatre of Living Arts. NYC punk pioneers, still showing kids how its done 40 years after they first formed: living history at its gray-haired finest. undergroundarts.org The Grand Slambovians Dec. 30, World Cafe Live. Informed sources tell us this wildly popular crew’s Grand Slambovian Hillbilly Pirate Balls are something to behold. worldcafelive.com
“Keep Christmas With You All Through the Year” by John Denver and the Muppets. “I think the Muppets wrote this anti-hedonist anthem to remind us that sadness is not only a part of life, but ultimately it’s really what makes our joyful times feel truly meaningful. So it’s appropriate that when this song ends, you know it’s time to crawl out from underneath the tree, turn on the news, and go back to work.” —Patrick Shillenn, director, Arch Enemy Arts
“The Little Drummer Boy” by Take 6. “I have always loved the song; I think it speaks to the way in which great power comes from the ability to honor whatever gifts any individual is willing to offer. The human struggle has always been about learning to share power; the original Christ stories were about dismantling hierarchy. I like the Take 6 version because it moves from uncertainty to celebratory to victorious to wonder.” —Christina Springer, 5-time Pittsburgh poetry slam champ
“Changes” by 2Pac. “This song is timely: a meditation on race, class and politics. It touches on poverty, war, police brutality and what it is like to be black in innercity America. It forces both societal and self-reflection. It makes you consider power dynamics and solidifies the fact that violence is truly a symptom of poverty— of oppression. We have to make changes.” —Kristen Sylvester, singer-songwriter, Wild Orphan
“The Christians and the Pagans” by Dar Williams. “For me it’s one of the most hopeful holiday songs for the way it celebrates the building of bridges one conversation at a time: ‘Where does magic come from? I think magic’s in the learning / ‘Cause now when Christians sit with pagans, only pumpkin pies are burning.’ This year, the need for those types of conversations seems to be more pressing than ever.” —Valya Dudycz Lupescu, PW contributor
“The Rising” by Bruce Springsteen. “The opening sentence says it all: ‘Can’t see nothin’ in front of me / Can’t see nothin’ coming up behind.’ My day starts and ends with faith—and faith comes from the inside, not from what I see.” —David Wurtzel, director, The First Twenty firefighters’ nonprofit “Greensleeves” both by the John Coltrane Quartet and by the Vince Guaraldi Trio. “My albumcollecting dad introduced us to jazz by playing the grooves off McCoy Tyner’s arrangement of this song for Coltrane; Guaraldi’s version’s made me weep since the first time I heard it. During incredibly stressful times and during the joyous holiday season, I turn to music from my childhood, so the fact that we’re in the midst of both feels like an unnerving coincidence. Something about this year’s tears feels comfortable and correct. “ —Sheena Lester, PW arts & culture editor
“Love Never Felt So Good” by Michael Jackson. “I never knelt at the altar of the king of pop until his latest posthumous release, Xscape. ‘Love Never Felt So Good’ is so infectious, so joyful. Remember when life felt so good? I do now—for three minutes and six seconds a day.” —Len Webb, producer, Black Tribbles “Say You Love Me” by Jessie Ware. “That song speaks to a notion I’ve been trying to hold on to for dear life lately: Love will always prevail over hate. That’s the hope.” —Bill Chenevert, PW arts & culture writer “God Said No” by Dan Bern. “No, we can’t go back in time and erase all the pain and suffering our world’s already seen. We have to keep trying the hard way, one day at a time.” —Stephen H. Segal, PW editor in chief ■ What's your anthem right now? Tweet #peacesongs to @phillyweekly.
L E G E N DS
Aretha Franklin
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t’s easy to find a photo of the house in Memphis, TN where Aretha Franklin was born back in 1942. It is tiny—and, I think it, serves as an apt visual representation of how far she’s come. Franklin’s daddy was a preacher, and her mom was a pianist-vocalist who took them from Tennessee to Buffalo to Detroit. Ah, parental magic: It was in church that Franklin would start to find her voice—and we’ve been thanking god for decades that she did: More than 100 charted singles, 18 Grammy Awards, 39 studio albums and a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction later, and Miss Ree’s the undeniable, undisputed Queen of Soul. Sure, like me, you may not care for Aretha Franklin Sings The Great Diva Classics, her latest album of covers, but no one with working ears could ever deny the power of “Respect,” “Baby, I Love You,” “Chain of Fools,” “Think,” “Spanish Harlem”— the list goes on. Her catalogue of hits is almost as iconic as the shade she’s thrown at Patti LaBelle. Long live the queen—and the greatest diva rivalry in the history of diva rivalries! // BILL CHENEVERT
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SCREEN REVIEW
Into the Woods
(Director: Rob Marshall / Writers: James Lapine and Stephen Sondheim)
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t’s almost inevitable in the modern studio system that anything making the jump from the stage will lose some of its edges. However, when you’re Stephen Sondheim, and your musical is Into the Woods, then the work is nothing but sharp edges, and letting Disney have it becomes an academic exercise in how many edges you can file off before you lose the shape of the thing. In the hands of director Rob Marshall, such sanding-down was inevitable. The production design centers around a generic liveaction version of the CGI forests that have lately flooded fantasy movies—large but only occasionally moody—and the story’s restructured to be a tidy, sweetly madcap story with a series of unfortunate events. When talking about Into the Woods, that kind of adaptation means an awful lot of important edges are gone. In the end, it’s just too many. Scene by scene, the movie’s pleasant enough. The cast nearly universally commits to their parts (excepting Johnny Depp, who seems startled out of a nap), and the singing is largely solid. Emily Blunt is a charismatic Baker’s Wife, Chris Pine a perfectly smarmy Prince Charming. The same can’t quite be said of Meryl Streep, who clearly relishes the witch’s Devil Wears Prada/heartbreaking mother divide, but whose singing can feel like an afterthought. Still, despite everyone’s game efforts, there’s a sense of tameness that’s hard to shake. Marshall seems mostly concerned in guiding audiences through the libretto, skipping past the shadows while leaving no joke unturned: the most direct draw from stage to screen seems to be holding for laughs. It’s too broad to skewer like it should, and the story loses crucial context when events move so briskly there’s no room for discontent—he’s made a satire into a quest. How perfectly Disney. (Genevieve Valentine)
G E N E V I E V E S P O I L S E V E RY T H I N G
Once Upon a Time Into the Woods shows how small changes to fairy tale tropes often make the biggest difference.
REVIEW
By Genevieve Valentine // feedback@philadelphiaweekly.com
Big Eyes
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(Director: Tim Burton / Writers: Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski)
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12 PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | DECEMBEr 24-31, 2014 | Philadelphiaweekly.com
Forest gunk: (From left) James Corden, Emily Blunt and Daniel Huttlestone as the Baker, the Baker’s Wife and Jack (respectively) in Into the Woods.
here seems, on the surface, no more fitting a director for Big Eyes than Tim Burton. The pulpy story of the mid-century Big Eyes children who created a pop-culture sensation hides within it the even more pulpy story of Walter Keane taking public credit for wife Margaret’s work until she divorced him and sued. It’s a nesting doll of camp about a beleaguered outsider just wanting to be happy in their art: Burton all the way. It’s surprising, then, how restrained Big Eyes feels, not that it lacks polish. Amy Adams is note-perfect as a woman who watches her artistic and romantic identities get leeched wholesale, and Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski’s screenplay is a light-touch psychological thriller about women disappearing. It’s also thoughtfully composed, with a California-sunshine glow by day (the suburbs as only Burton knows them) and the parallel cramped quarters by night: the clubs and galleries Walter frequents and the artistic garrets in which Margaret languishes. It’s so restrained, in fact, that its biggest camp element—Christoph Waltz, going full vaudeville—feels occasionally out of place. But the most interesting accident in Big Eyes is how often Walter takes center stage as the more fascinating character, as if even the script has to struggle not to erase Margaret from her own story. The third-act rushes, but also provides some of the film’s best moments, as Margaret’s insular feedback loop opens outward and Walter gets his comeuppance. For Burton, who, in his later work, seems increasingly in search of stories where the oddball triumphs after all, the quietly standard Big Eyes feels like an ironic dream of some deeper satisfaction—a film with no particular distinction, by an auteur adrift, about an artist whose art finally becomes truly theirs again. (G.V.)
t says a lot about how distinctive Stephen Sondheim’s work is that you don’t have to be an avid fan, or even a repeat customer, to recognize the delicate support systems on which his pieces rest. I’ve seen the Into the Woods musical exactly once, through Netflix, on a whim. It isn’t perfect (if there’s a reason for “Giants in the Sky,” modern science hasn’t found it), but it’s clear from the opening number the scope and ambition of the work. There’s a reason it’s iconic: It breaks down the comfort of stories. It’s a fascinating list of twists: Red Riding Hood’s a jerk, and it helps her survive. Cinderella is constantly shifting on a sliding scale between kind and cloying, and your feeling about her mostly reflects you, not her. Then there’s the beating heart of the story: that it’s in our nature never to be content. (Sometimes it even works in our favor; in the darkest times, we still look for the way out from under the foot of the giant.) The bittersweetness of “Children Will Listen” is in how futile it is to sing it to a group of people just waiting for one more “I Wish.” And the moment Rob Marshall’s Into the Woods opens without a narrator (James Corden, the Baker, provides voiceover instead), you could tell what changes we’d be seeing. The musical leans on its narrator, who eventually gets dragged into events, on the cheerfully meta interplay of a dozen characters and on the sly self-awareness of that universal discontent. Each of those characters is in the middle of their own story, but Into the Woods is telling us about how stories are made. The ability to move back and forth is simple onstage, in which the close quarters reinforces the performance. In a movie–particularly one hoping for mass appeal–that streak of pessimism wasn’t going to last, and the film becomes a madcap tale of some people in the woods doing their best. It’s particularly
interesting to watch the themes essentially flatten from three dimensions to two, as it becomes a story of, and no longer a story about. Fairy tales are a terribly robust form, the benefit of carrying so many tropes for so long that they’ve calcified. Even then, however, small changes make big differences in the thematic underpinnings of the story, and change the about. Beauty and the Beast is a love story for those in it; the about varies wildly. Cocteau’s La belle et la bete was a visual feast of a world beneath our own that, unlike its prince, is never meant to be fully unmasked. The Czech classic Panna a netvor offered an adaptation that baldly addressed the Stockholm Syndrome of Beauty’s captivity and became as much a horror flick as a love story. And it’s one of the rare stories Disney actually made darker, with a story about an abusive Beast and how a woman’s love tamed him—in almost complete opposition to the courtly Beast from the original tale, whose kindness never wavered and first allowed Beauty to imagine loving him at all. Though it’s possible to make a lighthearted retelling of even the darkest stories—there are dozens of Snow Whites, not to mention Donkeyskin—for a fairy-tale adaptation to become more than just a retelling, the frame must earn its resonance. Otherwise, you risk a thin tale, unless you stumble onto some accidental mad genius; there’s an Italian Snow White in which the prince is her companion jester in disguise and who has a robot double, which offers up several psychological quagmires with no further self-awareness required. But as Sondheim is well aware, the best stories are the ones that offer an about. Great stories are the ones in which that frame holds up a mirror. Marshall’s take will make a pleasant Christmas outing; we’ll wait on Netflix for the rest.
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THE UNCOMFORTABLE WHOLE by Josh Kruger jkruger@philadelphiaweekly.com
by Timaree Schmit Twitter: @timaree_leigh
A Retail Reminder...
DUDES IN EXERCISE CLASS: IT’S OKAY, REALLY
Just because you have to be nice to your family this week doesn’t mean you get to be an asshole to shop clerks.
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14 PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | DECEMBEr 24-31, 2014 | Philadelphiaweekly.com
TIMAREE’S BODY
onfession: I am that one shithead not participating in my office’s “Secret Santa.” I really thought I could avoid all the jingle bell schlock: opt out of the season and enjoy a stress-free, non-waiting-in-line December. Then, impulsively, I purchased a sweater, found it to be unintentionally ugly—and had to return it. So, there I was in the returns and exchanges section of a Center City department store. As I waited in line, one woman who’d been standing a few people ahead of me stepped away and vanished. When she returned some time later, more people had gotten in the line. Instead of acting like a rational, normal human being, she did exactly what I would have done a few years ago before I got my life together: She flipped her shit. She insisted loudly that everyone should have held her place, that this was absolutely not fair. Then she proceeded to rudely bicker with the other people in line who tried to calm her down. The clerks at the store kept their composure, which I found impressive in the face of the tantrum they were dealing with. It made me wonder: What can customers do—at the holiday season and all year round—to make sure we’re not driving retail workers (and fellow shoppers) insane? “Most of the customers we get are pretty fun and pleasant,” says Anthony Glassman, the co-owner of South Philly Comics on East Passyunk Avenue. First and foremost, he says, customers should understand where they are. Which is to say: Browsing a store is not the same as browsing a website. “One big retail no-no,” Glassman says, “is coming in, rejecting offers of help, and then taking photos of items to check prices online.” He points to the common customer whine: I can get this 20 percent cheaper online! “Yes,” he says, “but you can also wait for the shipping and hope it doesn’t get lost.” Ironically, he adds, he’s encountered folks who do lots of shopping online, yet also lament the dwindling numbers of small, independent businesses in American cities. “You don’t get to complain,” he says wryly, “when you don’t have stores locally [anymore] where you can talk to people about the merchandise.” Another faux pas: A surprising number of people, Glassman says, assume that indie shop clerks can negotiate prices with them. “People don’t seem to realize that, for the most part, the person to whom you are speaking is not authorized to lower the price—nor are they necessarily inclined to do so if they could,” he says. “You don’t walk into Starbucks and ask for a buck off your mocha latte frappuccino, so why do you ask for a buck off the price marked on a record, or ten dollars off that dress?” Bear Elkins is the master jewelry designer at Haddonfield Jewelers; he works with other jewelers in Philadelphia, too, but it’s the New Jersey shop where he deals with customers directly. Like Glassman, he says customers are overwhelmingly great; still, there’s always the outliers and time wasters. And, for small business owners, time is money. “One recent customer had made me create several different models for a ring she wanted,” Elkins says. “After seven
revisions, she calls me up and tells me that she found what she wanted in a department store.” While that kind of letdown is the customer’s prerogative, it’s still annoying—and costly for owner-operated shops. “Over 20 hours [of work] wasted,” Elkins laments. So remember, if you’re looking to commission some kind of work from an artisan: Avoid getting that far deep into projects if you’re not sure you’re going to let them follow through on it. One Philadelphia-based manager at a national clothing retailer notes that it’s not just the customers adding stress during the holiday season, either. For workers at big retailers, pressure comes from corporate, too, to constantly outperform last year’s sales or to hit this year’s projections. It’s called Black Friday for a reason, after all: The National Retail Federation says that stores depend on the four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas to make at least 20 percent of their entire year’s earnings. So, please, that manager begs: Be kind. “I have a few ‘Please don’t’s,” he says. “Don’t act like you are the king or queen of the world. Everyone gets treated the same, no matter how much you are spending. Don’t act like it’s not the holiday season. You might have to wait in line. Be patient—we are trying to get you out as quickly as we can.” Most importantly, he says: “Don’t yell at me, period. You’d be surprised how people act in stores this time of year. Please, don’t act like I’m a servant. I’m here to help you—not to wait on you.” In the final analysis, he says, that’ s the best thing every shopper can do—for the shops, for their fellow customers and for themselves. “Just be patient and understanding. Everyone is out there doing their last-minute Christmas shopping. The same thing that you’re doing.”
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his guy came regularly to my Tuesday boot camp for about a year. He worked hard, followed form and safety cue instructions, and appeared to have a good time. A year of reliable attendance at a group exercise class isn’t record breaking, but it’s a commitment. One day he decided to take another class I teach—one that combines boot-camp intervals with dance. He was the only guy in the room, which is not uncommon for dance-based workouts. For a couple songs, he hung in, hiding in the corner and keeping his movements fairly contained. But then came Rihanna’s “Jump.” The choreography starts with two hip shakes and a slide, then the arms wave down from the sky, fluttering like leaves. He froze, observed the scene for a matter of seconds and headed straight out the door. Flustered and without any way to process it, he complained to the front desk about how the class hadn’t been appropriately labeled as “stripper-robics” and made some casually homophobic remark about how no straight man would feel comfortable doing that. I never saw him in class again. Any class. Men make up about half of gym memberships but never close to half of group exercise attendance. If they do classes, they’re most likely in boot camps, martial arts and military-inspired workouts. While men can regularly be found in yoga and spinning, they almost never comprise a majority. When I talk to people about this phenomenon, there are a variety of reasons given: Men are looking for a workout with heaver resistance, they get turned off by pop music, they don’t want to look like creepers, they don’t want to struggle in front of women, there’s no need for the external motivation of an instructor, they assume classes will be too easy—and the tautological argument that group exercise is for women. The most interesting contention to me is the fear of being an interloping creeper. It was explained to me as being the one downside of being a dude. I was told: “It’s like how you can’t just go to a park and sit on a bench near a playground, as a guy.” Unless you have your own kids or a woman with you, there’s a fear of being read as some kind of sexual predator, only there to scam on people. The male terror of Pilates class, then, is not looking inflexible or weak—it’s not knowing where to look when there are so many spandex-covered butts in the air. On the flipside, of course, is the motivating factor of being around a bunch of fit women or an attractive instructor. “I definitely also enjoy a cute girl at the front of the room. I’m not going to lie,” one of my guy friends said. Another one, who both teaches and takes classes, mentioned how many girlfriends he’d met that way. While exercise is a torturous errand to some people, it’s the apex of sexual tension for others. Surrounded by tight bodies in even tighter clothes, music thumping over a sound system, a sea of muscles moving in rhythmic patterns—it’s a liquor cabinet away from being a nightclub. Precisely why someone might be just as likely to join a coed class as avoid it. In my experience as an instructor and denizen of the gym, dudes in classes are great. I admire a man who steps into a space as a numeric minority, can follow the lead of a female instructor and participate fully in an activity that doesn’t cater specifically to his demographics. It’s kind of silly how rarely that’s asked of straight men and thus how overwhelming the prospect might feel to some of them. People of color, LGBT folks and women must routinely enter spaces as an “other” and to adapt to the culture. One semester I had a male college student drop a P.E. class simply because he was the only guy in a group of 12. I can’t imagine the privilege of being able to only go to places where you’re well represented. There’s also something tragically sad about it: the limitations placed on men by hegemonic masculinity, the long list of perfectly neutral (non-vaginarequiring) activities from which guys feel they must exclude themselves out of fear of being read as gay—god forbid!—creepy, or just less than fully virile. Plenty of completely logical reasons exist for skipping out on Zumba, Piloxing, Barre, etc. If your desired training effect is to get huge and be able to lift big shit, it requires a specific type of training, and an hour of demi-pliés and salsa footwork won’t get you there. But if you’re curious about a class, and there’s even a remote chance you’ll have fun—be brave, and give it a whack. ■
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I’m a short guy and I need advice. I don’t want a small paragraph’s worth of advice, like you gave “Below Their League.” I need advice beyond “Women like men taller than them, get over it!” I’m short (five foot two), and most women are taller than me. And women like tall dudes just like I like slender women. Fat women may have it hard, but at least they have their fans and their own sex-object abbreviation: BBW. But where can a short guy go to feel appreciated? Jesus Christ, I’m Lonely “Below Their League,” who wrote to me in August of 2010, described himself as a short, slender guy who was only attracted to tall, butch women. He longed to be held in the strong arms of a woman who could snap him in two—and he wasn’t having much luck. This was the totality of my advice for him: “Most women prefer men who are taller than they are. It’s a sad, unavoidable fact, BTL, one you’ll have to accept (just as I had to accept that most men prefer women), and you’ll have to search harder for the lady/lady arms of your dreams. Not much else you can do about it.” I think that advice is solid, JCIL, but I can see why it would be unsatisfying. So here are a few bonus paragraphs for you… Some big, beautiful women (BBWs) resent their “fans,” JCIL, aka “fat admirers” (FAs), as they find the attentions of fat fetishists to be objectifying and emotionally fraught. But here’s why fat women have their own sex-object abbreviation and their admirers have their own websites (both porn and dating): because there’s no shortage of FAs. There are lots of guys out there who are into BBWs. Now, there may be a few women with a fetish for short guys—women who aren’t just open to dating short guys but filled with a panty-dampening, crazy-making lust for short guys—but there aren’t enough of them to form the critical mass necessary to sustain even one website for short guys and the women who admire them. So it looks like you’ll have to redouble your efforts at regular dating websites, JCIL, i.e., “search harder for the lady/lady arms of your dreams.” Christian Rudder, one of the founders of OkCupid, took a look at the impact height has on the dating and mating success of the site’s users. It probably won’t surprise you to learn that taller guys have more sex—just one measure of romantic success—but it may surprise you to learn that extremely tall guys (six foot six and above) don’t get many more “unsolicited messages” than extremely short guys. And then there’s this: “Women six feet or taller are either less attractive to men or are considered too intimidating to message,” Rudder writes. “[But] the data also raises the interesting possibility that these tall women are much more likely to sleep with a man who does approach them. Compare the 6’0” woman to her 5’4” counterpart: The taller woman gets hit on about two-thirds as much, yet has had slightly more sex partners.” The takeaway: Try hitting on taller women. My last relationship—an abusive one—ended 13 years ago, and I’ve been single for the last 10 years. I enjoy my life! And I get to wake up in the morning happy, not afraid! However, I would like to share my life with someone. I have not been asked on a date in years—sad—but I go out to movies, dinner, etc., on my own. Do I have a list? Yes! My love should be happy, enjoy my company, be self-actualized, be capable of com-
municating without violence and have a sense of humor. I am physically fit, and although I’m not a beauty, I’m pretty enough! I snowboard and ride horses, I’m creative—I have lots of energy for 52! But is this it? Am I to be alone now? Lonely And Seeking Someone You may very well be alone for the rest of your life, LASS, but you’re already doing everything I urge lonely people to do: You’re getting out there and living your life, you’re being yourself, you’re doing shit, you’re going places. Happy, active, and selfactualized people are more attractive and likelier to attract mates—so put up a few personal ads and see if there’s anyone in your area who wants to join you for dinner, snowboarding, horseback riding, whatever. But more importantly, LASS, always remember this: It’s better to be a happy, active and self-actualized single person than a miserable, sedentary, and the-opposite-of-self-actualized-whatever-that-is partnered person. I am a straight male who has never been in a romantic relationship. I am not a virgin, but every romantic relationship I’ve tried to pursue has ended in disaster. A few things you should know about me: While I am not a full-on clinical psychopath by a long shot, I am on that scale and do have psychopathic tendencies. I know this makes me sound like an asshole (and I probably am an asshole), but I am often the smartest person in the room. I wish this wasn’t the case. I have trouble relating to people, and they have trouble relating to me. I want to be in a healthy relationship, and most of all I want to stop feeling so lonely, but I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t feel isolated. Alone And Afraid You didn’t mention seeking professional help, AAA, and maybe that’s because you fear being smarter than the shrink in the room. But cognitive behavioral therapy is supposed to be an effective treatment for people with psychopathic tendencies. Also, AAA, a lot of people who are in relationships—even people who find it easy to interact with others—struggle with feelings of isolation. That’s not uncommon. And there are tons of people out there who aren’t psychopaths (or on the scale) who can describe their romantic histories in the same apocalyptic terms that you do. Get help, keep things in perspective and borrow a page from LASS’s playbook: Live your life, do shit, go places, even if you have to go alone for now. I am a college student just trying to get through my senior year with decent grades and a smidge of sanity. As such, I have basically given up the social scene. The problem is, while I recognize that I will have plenty of time for social stuff once I graduate, the rest of me is having trouble getting with the program. My weekends are a lot quieter and my wallet is more comfortable, but sometimes I can’t help feeling lonely. Losing Out Nearly Everyday Masturbate daily, LONE, and remind yourself before, during and after blowing those loads that your isolation is something you chose when you prioritized your education. It isn’t something that was imposed on you by circumstance or height or mental illness—it’s also a problem that will solve itself in six months.
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PUBLIC AUCTION @ DEVON SELF STORAGE The following self storage units will be sold to the highest bidder to satisfy the owner’s lien for rent under 73 P.S. 190 et. Seq. Auction is with reserve Devon Self Storage reserves the right to set minimum bids and to refuse bids. CASH ONLY. Contents must be removed within 24 hours. “Phillip T Cline”, Auctioneer PA Lic AU005596.
PROPERTIES LISTED BELOW 12 E. Oregon Avenue Philadelphia PA, 19148 on Monday 12/29/14 @ 11:00AM LIST OF NAMES AND UNIT NUMBERS
William Fournier................. unit 1827 Alice Khotzikian .................unit 2033 Edmund Velasco III ............ unit 2017 David Selby ........................ unit 2131 1831 W. Allegheny Avenue Philadelphia PA, 19132 on Monday 12/29/14 @ 2:00PM LIST OF NAMES AND UNIT NUMBERS
Andre Anderson .................. William Atkinson ................ Ashley Cheaton .................. Elaine R Daniel ..................
unit 5045 unit 4034 unit 5015 unit 5079
Jasmine Douglas .................. unit 5149 Nora E Fisher ....................... unit 2083 Joy Gary ............................... unit 4024 Antoine Gibbs ...................... unit 2097 Joyll Gonzalez ...................... unit 3117 Shanequa Juriel ................... unit 4041 Keith Keys............................ unit 5240 Tamika Lingham....................unit 5195 Evelyn A Parker..................... unit 4048 Kelly Roane.......................... unit 5064 Terry Scott ........................... unit 2095 Charlotte Taylor .................... unit 1068 Ayesah Thrower .................... unit 4072 Niecie Trolio ......................... unit 1075 Kevin Ward........................... unit 4037
www.devonselfstorage.com GET THE WORD OUT!
EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY All
real estate advertised in this newspaper is subject to federal, state and localfair housing laws, which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation, or discriminationbased on race; color; religion;sex; disability; familial; (presence of children);national origin; age (Pennsylvania and New Jersey); martial status or sexual orientation(Pennsylvania and New Jersey), or source of Income (Philadelphia only) in the sale, rentalor financing or insuring of housing. This paper will not knowingly accept any advertisingfor real estate which violates these laws. The law requires that all dwellings advertised beavailable on an equal opportunity basis. If you believe you have been discriminated againstin connection with the sale, rent, financing or insuring of housing or commercial property,call HUD at 1-888-799-2085
studio/efficiency
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SingerRealEstate.com
HEAT & HOT WATER INCL! MSRE, 215-925-RENT(7368), www.Mi-
RITTENHOUSE SQUARE: Very Lrg
chaelSingerRealEstate.com
1Bdrm w/ Den in Beautiful Victorian
room for rent 13TH & SPRUCE- Parker Hotel CC.
1549 MCKEAN: $1,800/mo 5BD/1.5BA with a yard and semi-finished basement! Eat-in kitchen. Available right now! CALL PAUL CHIN BHHS FOX & ROACH 215.627.6005/215.440.2049 2334 S. Lee St- Nice 3BR porch front home w/Spacious LR, DR, EIK, HW flrs, High ceilings & Yard. $1400/mo. CONWAY TEAM, BHHS Fox & Roach, 215.440.8190
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DARIEN AT MOYAMENSING (3BR)$1071. MARSTON AT DICKINSON(3BR)$795. BRANDYWINE AT 11TH(3/4BR)$1761. 215-849-4049 TEMPLE UNIV AREA: HOUSE for rent, $2500/mo. Call 484-798-2005
Brownstone, HW Flrs, Lovely Vintage THE CHATHAM: 20th & WALNUT-
Moldings & Details, Hi Ceilings,
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H o u se w/ so u t h e r n v i ews f ro m
ABOUT OUT WINTER SPECIAL.
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215.627.6005/215.440.2052 ART MUSEUM: Fabulous 2BR, New
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OLD CITY: 113 N.Bread St., 3D2Rarely available corner 2 Bed/2 Bath with 1 car parking at The National! $2850/mo. John Brown, BHHS Fox &
17TH & PINE: Charming 1BR, Great
Roach, LP. Direct: 215-440-8173
location. $995/mo+. PMG 215-545-
S P R U C E & 22 N D - Coz y 2 B R i n desirable neighborhood, HW flrs, Ample closets, Laundry in bldg, AVAIL NOW! $1385. MSRE, 215-925RENT(7368), www.MichaelSinger-
7007 x108 B ROA D & P I N E : Very cool 1BR, i n c l h e a t . $9 9 5. P M G, 2 1 5 - 5 45 7007 x108
Turn to
PagE 22
to start
your search
RealEstate.com
BROAD & WALNUT- Unique Bi-level
WASHINGTON SQ WEST: 914 Spruce
1BR w/Spiral Stairs, High ceilings,
St., 6: Beautiful 2 Bed Portico-Row
D/W, W/D, C/A, H/W Floors, AVAIL
Condo features wood floors, tall
N OW! $ 1 195/mo. M S RE, 215- 925-
windows, and good sized closets.
RENT(7368), www.MichaelSinger-
$1695. John Brown, BHHS Fox & Roach,
RealEstate.com
LP. Direct: 215-440-8173
Where to live
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM | DECEMBER 24-31, 2014 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY 19
709 N. 3RD, #3: $1,800/mo 2BD/1BA
Re s to re d H i s to r i c H i g h - r i s e i n
geView in Manayunk! Gourmet kitchen,
OPEN HOUSES
for an appointment.
15TH & SPRUCE: Lrg 1 Bdrm in
$1265/Mo. 215-735-8030.
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM
CLINTON & 10TH- Sunny 1BR in
house for rent 1118 WALLACE: $2,500/mo 4BD/2.5BA 3300sqft new construction w/garage, W/D, C/A, patio, huge master suite, tons of light, hdwd flrs & more! CALL BIBE CHIN BHHS FOX & ROACH 215.627.6005/215.440.1546
REAL ESTATE: RENTAL 226 South St. // 215.922.4200
& Associates, Inc. Realtors ONE BEDROOM
Abbotts Sq. 530 S. 2nd St 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, balcony,w&d, c/a,elevator,24 hr. door person $1,450.00 130 Spruce (Penn’s Landing Sq. Large 1br., 1 Bth, hrd.flrs.,patio, c/a, w&d, pool , GARAGE $2,000.00 615 Bainbridge Large(950 sq.ft unique architect details 1Br,, 1 Bth, deck, w&d, a/c, hrd.flrs. $1,350.00
TWO BEDROOM APARTMENTS 707 S. 4th St Bi-level Large 2 Bedroom, 1 bath, w&d in bldg, no pets 307 S. Chadwick St Spectacular 1500sq.ft., tri-level 2 Brs, 1 Bth, fireplace.,w&d,c/a
1,295.00 $3.395.00
TOWNHOUSES 1727 Monument St (Temple University) 5 Brs., 3 Baths, w&d, yard , full basement 236 Spruce (Society Hill) 2 Bedrooms, 1.5 Bths, wood flrs, w&d, garden, deck, basement 816 S. Hancock (Queen Village) 1 Bedroom, Den, Bath, trinity, wood flrs. 1615 S. Lawrence St (Dickinson Sq.) 3 Brs, 1 Bath, wood floors, w&d, full basement 1009 . Randolph St. (N.Liberties ) 5 Brs., 1.5 Baths, central air, w&d, garden 801 South St. 4 Bedrooms, 2.5 Bths, c/a, fireplace,skylights, w&d, d/w,gd 1261 S. Newkirk (Greys Ferry) 2 Brs., 1 Bth,rehab, c/a, w&d, great kitchen 1400 Block S. Newkirk 2Brs, 1 Bth.,hrd.flrs, w&d Two Houses avail. each 1741 Edgely St (Temple U) 5 Brs., 2 Bths, hrd. flrs.,fresh paint, w&d, baset 2236 S.Beechwood(23rd & Wolf Sts) 3 Brs, 1 Bth, w&d, patio, full bst, w/ac
$1,800.00 $1,850.00 $995.00 $1,295.00 $2,000.00 $2,500.00 $1,100 .00 $795.00 $2,500.00 $975.00
COMMERCIAL 1137-43 N. 3rd (Northern Liberties) 5400 sq.ft., C-2, warehouse & office, 2-street access 3826 Lancaster Ave. 1st flr corner 900 sq.f. plus basementt C-2, retail or restaurant
$5,000.00 $3000.00
20 PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | DECEMBER 24-31, 2014 | PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM
WWW.PLUMERRE.COM FOR A COMPLETE LIST OF RENTAL UNITS PROPERTY MANAGEMENT GROUP, LTD 13th & Spruce
Juniper & Pine
Adorable Studio w/AC and Laundry
Gorgeous 1BR w/Exposed brick and More.
$750+
9th & Spruce
$995+
23rd & Poplar
Great 2BR, HW floors, Great Studio apt w/Separate AC and More! Eat-in kitchen.
$1350+
$795+
215.545.7007
www.propertymanagementgroup.com We Offer Full Management and Leasing Services
‘S
JOBS & MONEY ISSUE
It's a new year: time to jumpstart your pocketbook!
PW's Jobs & Money issue counts down the 10 best places to get a job around Philly — plus the 10 most affordable places to live, budget tips for young city-dwellers, and more!
Interested in Advertising? Issue Date: January 21
Reserve your space by: January 16 Contact your Account Executive or email dsimms@philadelphiaweekly.com
we have have an an apartMent apartMent for you. you. hoMe for
ichael ichael inger inger
The Old Quaker Building
in the heart of University City | 3514 Lancaster Avenue
Real Real Estate Estate
over 50 years in the real real estate estate business business
RITTENHOUSE / FITLER SQUARE Best WishesSQUARE This Holiday Season!
Saturday Appointments Available THE CHATHAM: WALNUT & 20TH –
Studios & One Bedroom in high rise, Doorman bldg w/Magnificent Western & Southern ppointmentS vailable exposure, view ofaturday Rittenhouse Square, HW floors, Laundry on site, Professionally managed. AVAILABLE NOW! ALL UTILS INCL. FROM $1,225 ASK ABOUT OUR WINTER SPECIAL
S
a
a
RITTENHOUSE SQUARE / FITLER SQUARE
studio, one + two bedroom apartments pet friendly | gourmet kitchens | fitness center | courtyard | on-site parking | unit washer/dryer
call 215.222.2233
reinhold residential .com/oldquaker
The Chocolate Works | The Touraine | The Packard | The Metropolitan | The Lofts at Logan View
William Penn Realty GRouP 215.636.0300 MANAYUNK BAKER ST (OFF MAIN)
Great 1 & 2BR, W/W, C/A, Parking Incl. Laundry on Premises
$825-$1150
RITTENHOUSE SQUARE WALNUT & 23RD
Studio, HW floors
PINE & 22ND
3BR, 2BA bi-level, HW floors, Laundry
WALNUT & 22ND
Large Studio w/HW floors
WALNUT & 20TH
Studio Loft w/HW floors
LOCUST & 21ST
Studio’s & 1BR, HW floors, Laundry
$695 $2200 $825 $795 $795-$1175
SPRUCE & 16TH
1BR w/Pvt entrance, HW floors, Yard
BROAD & SPRUCE
Studio’s & 1BR’s, W/W, C/A, W/D
PINE & 10TH
1BR & Studio, HW floors
LOMBARD & 9TH
2BR bi-level, WD, CA, HW floors, Courtyard Newly renovated 1BR w/Deck, C/A, W/D
CHRISTIAN & 5TH
Modern 1, 2 & 3 BR’s, W/W, W/D on premises
BAINBRIDGE & 3RD
$1400 $850-$1250 $795
Newly renovated 1BR
AVAILABLE FOR IMMEDIATE OCCUPANCY!! |SATURDAY APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE.
MT. VERNON & 21ST
2room Studio, HW floors, Laundry
FAIRMOUNT & 20TH
All new 2BR, EIK, WD
SPRING GARDEN & 20TH
Fabulous 1BR, Hw floors, Laundry
FAIRMOUNT & 18TH
Fabulous 2BR bi-level, CA, WD
annemarie@wprg.net
Nancy or Ellen 215.546.9247
ellenmwhelan@hotmail.com
$925 $995 $850 $750
$850-$1275
AVAILABLE FOR IMMEDIATE OCCUPANCY!! |SATURDAY APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE. WILLIAMPENNREALTYGROUP.COM | LEASING@WPRG.NET
Annmarie or John 215.636.0100
new kitchen & bath, Elevator bldg., HW floors, AVAILABLE Laundry on premise. NOW! $1,285 AVAILABLE NOW! ALL UTILS INCLUDED!! $795 CLINTON & 10TH – Renovated Studio on beautiful street, Brand CLINTON & 10TH – Sunny One bldg., Bedroom ElevatorLaundry bldg., H/W Floors, new kitchen & bath, Elevator HWin floors, on premise. Great closet space, Laundry on premise, Short Term Lease AVAILABLE NOW! ALL UTILS Available. INCL. $795 AVAILABLE NOW! ALL UTILS INCLUDED!! $1,025
1117 Spruce Street 1117 Spruce Street www.MichaelSingerrealestate.com www.MichaelSingerrealestate.com
215-925-RENT 215-925-RENT
‘S
$1195
POPLAR & 27THWILLIAMPENNREALTYGROUP.COM Fabulous 1BR bi-level, HW floors | LEASING@WPRG.NET Annmarie or John EllenHW floors, Yard BROWN & 26TH Nancy or1BR, 215.636.0100 215.546.9247 annemarie@wprg.net BROWN & 24TH ellenmwhelan@hotmail.com Cute Studio w/Yard Studio & 1BR, HW floors, New kitchen
ceilings, D/W, W/D, C/A, –H/W Floors, One AVAILABLE NOW! $1,195 BROAD & WALNUT Roomy Bedroom with Beautiful Bay windows, kitchen, D/W, W/D, Studio C/A, W/W carpeting, street, High ceilings. CLINTON Large & 10TH – Renovated on beautiful Brand
$750-$900
ART MUSEUM
PARRISH & 23RD
Exposed brick, AC, Pergo floors. NOW! $875 BROADred & WALNUT – Unique Bi-level One Bedroom w/AVAILABLE Spiral Staircase, Hi-
$1200
All new 1BR’s
POPLAR & 29TH
AVAILABLE NOW! $2,750 ASK ABOUT OUR WINTER SPECIAL
HILLw/Private / WASHINGTON SQUARE SPRUCE SOCIETY & 11TH – Huge Studio entrance, Decorative fireplace, WEST Lots of character,
$900-$1150
QUEEN VILLAGE BAINBRIDGE & 5TH
Storage Space.
$750 $1200 $975 $1100
JOBS & MONEY ISSUE It's a new year: time to jumpstart your pocketbook!
PW's Jobs & Money issue counts down the 10 best places to get a job around Philly — plus the 10 most affordable places to live, budget tips for young city-dwellers, and more!
Interested in Advertising? Issue Date: January 21
Reserve your space by: January 16 Contact your Account Executive or email dsimms@philadelphiaweekly.com
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM | DECEMBER 24-31, 2014 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY 21
HW floors, Laundry, Yard William 2BR’s, Penn Realty GRouP $1500 CENTER CITY EAST 215.636.0300
SPRUCE & 16TH
THE CHATHAM: WALNUT & 20TH LOCUST 21ST –& Attractive Studio in Rittenhouse Sq, bldg HW w/Magnificent floors, Laundry Spacious&Studios One Bedroom in high rise, Doorman AVAILABLE NOW! ALLof UTILS INCL., EXCEPT ELECTRIC FROM $725 Western & Southern exposure, view Rittenhouse Square, HW floors, Laundry on site, Professionally managed. SPRUCE & 22ND – Cozy Two Bedroom in desirable neighborhood, HW floors, Ample AVAILABLE NOW! ALL UTILS INCL. FROM $1,225 ASK ABOUT OUR DECEMBER! WINTER SPECIAL. closets, Laundry in bldg, AVAILABLE $1,385 LOCUST & 21ST– Attractive Studio in Rittenhouse Sq, HW floors, Laundry LOCUST & 22ND – Spacious & Newly renovated Studio w/HW floors, AVAILABLE NOW! HEAT & HOT WATER INCLUDED! FROM $725 Beautiful new kitchen and bath, Lots of closet space, Laundry in bldg.. SPRUCE & 22ND – Cozy Two Bedroom in desirable neighborhood, HW floors, AVAILABLE NOW/DECEMBER! $1075 Ample closets, Laundry in bldg, AVAILABLE NOW! HEAT & HOT SQUARE WATER INCLUDED! SOCIETY HILL / WASHINGTON WEST $1,385 LOCUST && 22ND– Spacious & Newly renovated Studio w/HW floors, LOMBARD 5TH – Beautiful Contemporary Three Bedroom Townhome on peaceful treelined Brand new w/Granite counterops, Private in Garage Beautifulstreet, new kitchen and kitchen bath, Lots of closet space, Laundry bldg. Parking Included, Courtyard AVAILABLE entrance, 2.5 NOW! Baths, HEAT HW floors, W/D, C/A, INCLUDED! Basement w/Lots of & HOT WATER $1,075
115 Catharine Street Queen Village
We sell big houses We sell small houses We sell luxury houses We sell suburban houses We sell historic houses We sell distinctive houses We sell city houses We sell brand new houses We sell your houses
Location! Location! Meredith Catchment - Garage Parking - 3000 Sq Ft - 18x68 -Hardwood Floors Throughout - 2 Zoned Gas Heat and A/C - 2 Fireplaces - Great Main Suite with a huge walk-in closet + 2 Additional Sizable Bedrooms - 2.5 Baths and a To Die for Chef’s Kitchen Dining Room - Large Living Room with Fireplace - Huge Den with fireplace Basement with tons of storage, laundry area and mechaicals - Garden. This is a Lovely Newer Home on a Great Tree Lined Queen Village Block.
$1,125,000
We sell more houses than any independent brokerage in the Philadelphia region.
www.conwayteam.com
Kathy Conway Patrick Conway 215-440-8190 215-266-1537 patrick@conwayteam.com kathy@conwayteam.com
Here Comes The Sun!
ewrhomes.com
Finally a real recovery in the sluggish market. Since June we have Sold over 35 homes and listed 33. Once again in The Prudential Real Estate Affiliates for 2009 our team has consistently Ranked in the top 3 for all four quarters out of 68,000 Agents. Thank you sincerely for your Business. September 2009
Kathy Office • 215.627.6005 • Please visit us online at www.conwayteam.com Society Hill
Patrick 215-440-8172
215-440-8190
9 0 % Reduced o f o u PRice r b u s i n e s s c o m e...WHERE s f r o m f r i e n d s tTO e l l i n LIVE g friends!
THE WONDEFUL ARTISAN DEVELOPMENTS NoRtheRN LibeRties - tRiPLex
Have you ever had a dream about owning your own Deeded Queen Village Parking Space? WELL SOMETIMES DREAMS COME TRUE. We have 7 deeded spots available in a secured Queen Village Location. $67,500.00 HURRY 2 ALREADY SOLD
New Listings
225 Green Street
3 Apartments Fully Leased, Next to new homes $665,000
RidLey FaRms / RidLey PaRk Rittenhouse Artisan II 1200Artisan JefferSon Ave Artisan 1805 Lombard 1431 Bainbridge
1501-1503 Kater Large Brick Corner, Two Car Garage, 2 1/2 (10 Homes) (8 Homes) 5600 Sq Ft 4/3.5 + Sq Ft 4/3.5 Large Kitchen Bathrooms, Just 4000 Renovated, with Elevator Roof Deck TA Elevator Deck Bedrooms, 2 Car Marble Countertops, Three Two Studies, 2 Car Garage Garage & TA $2,500,000 Three Floors, Large Family Room, FHA, VA. Accepted $2,500,000 $2,000,000 $319,000
4000 + Sq Ft 4/3.5 Elevator Deck 2 Car Garage & TA
1107-1121 N. Howard 1101-1115 N. Hancock 1102-1134 N Hope
LaRge WaRehouse d ce Zoned and Approved for NoRtheRN LibeRties ViciNity du 16 Town homes + 2 stacked GermAntown Duplexes 1613-1627 Re Ave
246 Catharine St Beautiful Home. 3/2.5 2 Fp’s + lg garden $650,000
318 Fitzwater Street “The Dragon House”
4 + office/2.5 Garden & Garage. Lot size 19x136 $1,250,000
From $650,000
D n Deck, Central Large Three Bedrooms, Co OL 3 Bathrooms, OL ew Air, Hardwood Floors N$189,000 2S 3S
22 PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | DECEMBER 24-31, 2014 | PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM
534 Queen Beautiful
635 Street 119-123SiGel Federal L’EAU Jay-Z & Beyonce
N/C 3 7 Homes, 3 /2.5, Development 24 Condos Bedrooms, Central Air, W/D,Pennspoint 3 to 4 + den /2.5 3 + Den/2.5 Renovated H/W & H/W, Bsmt + Gar & TA 2/2 Parking TA Gar TA From $499,000 GardenDishwasher, $499,000 Yard FHA, VA. Accepted $158,400 From $399,000 From $509,000
2
125 Ellsworth—Phase III
commeRciaL x ft 5246 ½ mArket Street ple Le Store and Apartments, Shellu$112,000 D
gRaduate hosPitaL825aRea S. 2nd St 127 Monroe Fab Duplex Great Corner 1606 webSter Street upscale Builder’s Hm Property RED $379,000
2338 Fitzwater A& C Condos 1/1 TA
Ne
w
De
lo ve
t en pm
Rosa Court—Garage From $549,000
3 /2
Renovated, 2 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Finished Basement, $369,000
From $229,000
2+ Den/2 Garden RED
810 S. 2nd St “A”
1118 E. Moyamensing
1000 sq. ft2/1 Prkng, Tx Abmt , lg grdn. $399,900
4/2.5, patio,deck & finished basement $369,000
Monday through Friday 9:00 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.
20 off Street Spaces in OPEN HOUSES 600-02 N American N/C Approximately one floor, High1 Christian #40 Condo SALE 123-25 Monroe St 245 Monroe Street gated9,500Sq Community Ft on 3/2.5,2014 Bsmt Garden, 28, Best N/C .3 + Den/4.5 2 car Courtyard Home. 2/2.5 Deck SUNDAY Great Floor plan 4/2.5DEC. ,Deck $1,975,000 Ceilings, Overhead Door on 4th Street, $599,900 Garage, & TA garage, TA $1,599,000 Garage $369,900 Grdn & Grg. RED $795,000
PRice ReductioN - NeWboLd / PoiNt bReeze n ctio 1730 So. 21St Street ru D st
$435.000
CALL 215.563.1234 118 Catharine St Award Wining,3500 sq. ft, grdn & grg. $1,300,000
d ce du Re
221 Carpenter St
3/2 & beautiful Garden
12:00-1:00PM
3550 Sq Ft 3 + Den/4.5 3 BalconiesDeck Garden + Garage TA $979,000
502 Delancey 4+Off/3 F & St.
203/2 S.Deck Letitia + + Parking RED $499,000
2 1/2 BA + Deck 3 Car
Prng $1,350,000 Starting at $375,000
BHHS Fox & Roach Society Hil 233 S. 6th 1 Christian #49 St. 3/2.5 Garden + 1 car $810,000 Pkng $499,500
Ne
w
ns Co
n ctio tru
1:30-2:30PM
Rittenhouse Square
Queen Village
1730 Pine St. 4
115 Catharine St. $1,125,000 BHHS, Fox & Roach
BHHS Fox753-757 & Roach S. Marshall St
2107 Bainbridge Incredible 3 + media/2.5 Deck & Garden $749,000
Between 6th & 7th off of Fitzwater 3 Lots $350,000
2:00-4:00PM
Old City 122-30 New St. 2A $399,000
1201 623 S 6th
3 Condos 1/1 + Deck, TA From $299,000 1 SOLD
Graduate Hospital 128 Pemberton St
335 Christian
2414 Kimball St.
BHHS Fox & Roach Multi 5/4 + Deck
4 /3.5 2 Car Parking RED $549,900
& Garden $649,900
$354,000
BHHS Fox & Roach
BHHS Fox & Roach
714-22 Bainbridge St -13 Condos with Garage Parking - 2/2- Gardens & Decks. Society HillFROM $379,900
Great ViciNity Rental PeNNsPoRt 435 Snyder Ave
3rd & Bainbridge - Live & work from home in this fabulous space. 2 bedrooms +den,1.5 Baths, hardwood floors, Deck + Gallery space on 1st Fl. $3000 427 Queen St- Beautiful 3 story, 2 bedroom, 1 bath trinity, H/W, EIK & garden. $1400 225 Catharine St - Beautiful 3 BR + Den, 4 BA, H/W, Granite ktchn, grdn & 2 car parking. $3500 776 S. 2nd St - Very nice 2 Bedroom, 1 Bath Bi level apartment w/ CA + Lg Deck. $1350 810 S. 3rd St –Beautiful large 3 BR + Den home with hardwood floors t/o, yard + parking. $2500 1119 E. Palmer St –N/C 3 BR + Media Rm, 3 BA, H/W t/o, Fp, Lg Garden + 3 car parking. $2500 400 Spring Garden-N.C Commercial Space Available-800 to 1600 Sq Ft. Call for Details
Total Renovation, Two Master Suites, Hardwood Floors, Large Yard, FHA, VA. Accepted $269,000
buiLdiNg Lot – south PhiLadeLPhia 603 emily Street
Washington Square West 1220 Panama St.
245 S. 7th St.
3:00-4:00PM
$825,000
$350,000
LD SO
BHHS Fox & Roach
BHHS Fox & Roach
5
Fishtown
Graduate Hospital
Northern Liberties
14 X 45 $25,000 913 N. LawrenceSt.
West PhiLadeLPhia – NeW ListiNg 5524 AnGorA terrAce
1206 E. Fletcher St.
$595,000
$405,000
BHHS Fox & Roach
T h eFront, A w aGas rd W i n nFHA, i n g VA K aAccepted t h y , P a t r i c k a n d BHHS t h e CFox o n w&aRoach y Team 215.440 .8190 Porch 3 Bedrooms, Heat,
$54,900
Fred r. levine Deidre Quinn
Lee Ann Hartley
real
Ivon Cowell
Tory Gargano
e s tat e
Jeff Kauffman
Graduate Hospital Mike Carestio
215-465-3733
Hill Office RittenhouseSociety Square 215.627.6005
Adele Gerngross
$425,000 BHHS Fox & Roach
$479,000
East of Broad
530 W a ln ut St. Sui te # 26 0
517 Wharton St.
$375,000
2127 Tryon St. Phi la de lp hi a, P A 19 10 6 BHHS Fox & Roach
BHHS Fox & Roach
Society Hill
Queen Village
508 S. 3rd St.
702 S. 3rd St.
$470,000
$675,000
BHHS Fox & Roach
BHHS Fox & Roach
Washington Square West
Whitman
Queen Village
809 Addison St. B
340 Wolf St.
114 Kenilworth St.
$459,000
$250,000
$689,000
BHHS Fox & Roach
BHHS Fox & Roach
BHHS, Fox & Roach
Independently owned and operated member of the Prudential Real Estate Affiliates, Inc.
BHHS Fox & Roach Bella Vista 612 Clymer St. $875,000 BHHS Fox & Roach
Based on information from TREND, 7/1/13–6/30/14.
921 S. 18th St.
www.conwayteam.com
1420 Pemberton St.
$1,199,900 Visit our website for our complete inventory, weekly open houses, additional pictures and more particulars.
Display ads - Fridays @ 10 a.m. Line ads - Mondays @ 4:30 p.m.
Parrish N/C 3 to 4 BR TA From $469,000
$310,000
Old City 1 Christian St #22
1:30-2:30PM 1923-1925-2021-2023
133 Salter Street Fab. N/C
DEADLINES:
Times are Subject to Change. View open house listings at: philadelphiaweekly.com/real-estate/open-house/
IT DOESN’T COST MORE TO WORK WITH THE BEST
Even if you’re looking to buy
a small house, it’s still a
big step.
W W W. M C C A N N T E A M . C O M A N D H I S F I V E S TA R T E A M
THINKING OF SELLING? CALL 215.778.0901 THINKING OF BUYING? CALL 215.440.8345
If you’re thinking about selling your home, the McCann Team will provide you with a free estimate of value! No cost, obligation or hassle! Check out our video to get to know Mike & his team - you can find it at www.mccannteam.com! While you’re there, see what our clients have to say about our services! Let’s get started today.
We’ll make sure you take all the right steps. From finding a house that fits your needs and budget, to understanding the dos and don’ts of financing, zoning, title reports, inspections, and everything in-between, Solo Real Estate will be there with you every step of the way. SOLO REAL ESTATE, INC. 2017 CHANCELLOR STREET • PHILADELPHIA, PA 19103 TELEPHONE 215.564.7656 • FACSIMILE 215.564.7893 SOLOREALTY.COM
30 Year Fixed Rate Owner Occupied Maximum Loan Amount $417,000.00
Interest Rate 4.625%
OLD CITY
$399,000
Step into ‘The Nouveau’, a gorgeous building with a peaceful garden and waterfall just outside and stunning modern architectural design! With parking, custom built-ins, a gas fireplace, a built-in flat screen TV and more, this 2BD/2.5BA is truly fabulous.
APR* 4.67%
WASHINGTON SQUARE WEST
$459,000
Gorgeous bi-level 2BD/2BA condo townhome with parking, a deck, cherry wood floor throughout and so much more! The open updated kitchen boasts stainless steel appliances, granite counters and ample cabinetry, the living and dining room boasts vaulted ceilings and exposed brick. Come see for yourself!
SOCIETY HILL
$470,000
BELLA VISTA
$875,000
Sophisticated and stately 4-story home with parking! This 2BD/1.5BA boasts a gorgeous brick façade, custom interior paint, hardwood flooring and lovely plantation shutters with custom blinds. There is an amazing living room with a marble mantle fireplace and so much more…
RITTENHOUSE SQUARE
*APR=Annual Percentage Rate. Rates subject to change without notice. (Rates as of August 13,2014). Subject to credit approval. Subject to income and monthly debt restrictions. Maximum LTV 95%. LTV Loans over 80% subject to additional PMI guidelines. Philadelphia and Delaware counties only. Property insurance required. Based on $417,0000.00 loan at 4.625% the monthly Principal & Interest payment would be $2143.96. This does not include real estate taxes or homeowner’s insurance. Actual payment will be higher. Prudential Savings Bank NMLS #518005
$479,000
Situated on a gorgeous tree-lined block, this handsome abode offers a gorgeous brick façade and planters and shrubbery along with a private patio/entryway. This charming home has an updated kitchen with white cabinetry, granite counters, stainless appliances with SubZero refrigerator, island counter and that’s just the beginning!
QUEEN VILLAGE
$525,000
Impeccable move-in condition! 3BD/2.5BA, a finished basement perfect for an office/den, a handsome brick façade, 5 years left on tax abatement, a modern kitchen, modern baths, ample outdoor spaces with a private rear yard and a fantastic bi-=level roof deck with panoramioc city views and a very cool pilot house with a wet bar!!!
Stunning home completely renovated from the foundation up by one of Philly’s high quality 2nd generation builders! The details in this 3BD/3.5BA are unmatched! There’s a finished basement, a family room, a den, deck, many Juliet balconies, mirage maple flooring throughout, possible parking, an approved tax abatement and more!
Office
215.627.6005 Direct
MEMBER FDIC
215.440.8345
PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM | DECEMBER 24-31, 2014 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY 23
Call Today 215-755-1500 or apply online at: www.prudentialsavingsbank.com
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