PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM
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DEC. 27, 2017 - JAN. 3, 2018
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FROM THE EDITOR
Good looking out, Philly KERITH GABRIEL
W
e take a lot of pride in being the last bastion of alternative journalism in Philadelphia. It’s also a pleasure to highlight the Philadelphians who are doing big things across all spheres. From 24-year-old politicians, to preeminent street art historians with no formal degree, to up and coming musicians, it’s been a fun 2017. There’s a certain joy in being able to get under people’s skin, question their reason, authority, power and, in some cases, ulterior motives. And we know we did, given the handful of idle lawsuit threats we received over the course of the year. You’re not doing your job in this profession, if you don’t hear that you’ll be hearing from someone’s lawyer. In our ďŹ nal issue of the year, we, like many news organizations, will highlight some of the best and brightest in addition to the darkest and weirdest moments that enraptured 2017. But the difference is our goal is to look at some of the best moments we, as a predominantly twoman operation, delivered over the course of the year. That’s right, it’s myself and our senior staff writer, Max Marin, who combed the streets to deliver your week in weird. That’s not to say we didn’t have help. Our freelance contingent features some of the best storytellers in the city and their work made for the perfect supplement to the grind that is producing a weekly devoid of uff, devoid of primarily revenue driven content. One of our main goals in 2017 was to ensure that Philadelphia Weekly would not have stories that churned the advertising wheel, regardless of how much that came to the chagrin of our sales team. The reason? That shit’s just not authentic. The best stories are the ones that take time. As you can see, the 80-page PW is sadly a thing of the past, but that’s OK, because if the 28-40 page books we distribute weekly is backed by solid, stress-driven, caffeine-fueled journalism, then to me and the rest of us, it’s all worth it. I grew up reading the Inquirer and Daily News in print form (in fact, my mom has a picture of me pretending to read the DN at the breakfast table). There’s just something about holding a print copy in your hand, ipping through the pages and seeing the copy and ads ow together.
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It’s dorky, but ask any journalist, they’ll probably say the same. But I’m not an idiot. In the age of smartphones, that’s just not the way news is consumed anymore. It’s a novelty, great to have when you have time, when you’re sipping your latte at your favorite coffee shop, or when you’re saddled up to your favorite dive bar We can tell that many of you are reading PW digitally anyway. We can tell because our pageviews in a year have doubled, our unique visits are up over 70 percent. We can tell because when you rant, cheer or curse us out you link to the story, instead of referencing the page number. Thank you, thank you, thank you. But it’s a push-pull. Our advertisers have been some of the most loyal supporters of our journalism, and we thank you. Many of you have stood by us and support the journalism we create even if sometimes the content may not curry your favor. We appreciate it and look forward to collaborating with you on content that beneďŹ ts all in 2018. Our goal is to produce content that is authentically PW, our readers resonate and respond to and something that if you want to put your stamp on in both the digital and print landscape, we’re happy to talk. Earlier, I mentioned our corps of freelancers who have worked with us over the year. Thank you, thank you to all of you who contributed to our publication this year. Thank you for putting up with my slow responses, for not getting too upset on rejected pitches, for having to deal with me on Slack. But mainly, thank you for consistently delivering content we were proud to host. I’m always looking for unique, diverse voices with plenty to say or someone or something to highlight. If it’s controversial, quirky, weird or verbose we’re all ears. Our goal at the beginning of 2017 was to return PW to an alt-weekly this city can be proud of. Remember now, this was a city with two to boast, and we still mourn the loss of the City Paper. But that loss left us with big shoes to ďŹ ll and to deliver content that is worth scrolling through on your phone, taking off the table at the cafe or sticking your hand in an honor box for. What would you like to see? What do you think we should be doing better? I’m all ears and a tough person to insult, so please, let me know what we can do to make sure we’re a part of your news cycle in 2018. This is your paper, Philadelphia. We just man the ship. Q TWITTER: @SPRTSWTR
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Connect with us: @PhillyWeekly EDITORIAL Kerith Gabriel, Editor kgabriel@philadelphiaweekly.com Max Marin, Staff Writer, mmarin@phillyweekly.com Tim Ronaldson, Editor-in-chief , Newspaper Media Group tronaldson@newspapermediagroup.com CONTRIBUTORS: A.D. Amorosi, Swabreen Bakr, Kriston Bethel, Jared Brey, Andrea Cantor, Gregory Dale, Sarah Rose Etter, Scott Himelein, Hayden Mitman, Andrea Monzo, Timaree Schmit, Alex Vuocolo, Daniel Barnes, Anne Johnson, Dan Savage, Logan Gardner, Sabrina Vourvoulias
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BUSINESS Perry Corsetti, COO, pcorsetti@bsmphilly.com Deidre Simms, Director of Major Accounts, deidre@phillyweekly.com PRODUCTION Mark Homer, Design and Layout CIRCULATION/DISTRIBUTION Pearl Harta, 215-354-3146 pharta@bsmphilly.com
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With the city on track to see more than 1,200 fatal overdoses this year, we set aside a good chunk of time to cover the city’s opioid underworld. We reported on the aftermath of the city’s decision to close longtime heroin camps along the Conrail tracks. We reported on sex workers and the organizations that help them stay safe on the streets. We followed paramedics through Kensington as they ďŹ ght an uphill battle every day to save lives with overdose-reversing naloxone. Q
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In 2017, local media outlets counted their blessings daily. It’s been an honor to provide hard-hitting stories that matter to our readers this year — and we’re thrilled to continue our work in 2018. Many of our sisters and brothers in local news do not share the same privilege. This year sang the swan song of Charm City’s last alt-weekly, the Baltimore City Paper. A billionaire closed down local news websites The Gothamist and DNAInfo in several major cities. And most of the award-winning folks at LA Weekly were abruptly fired after a +2/',1* &8/785( &2817(5&8/ change in ownership. 32:(5 72 785( $1' $// The obituaries keep coming, from small-town dailies to digital-first outlets. 7+( )/$0( From politicians to nonproďŹ ts to police of7+,1*6 3+,//< But hope is never lost. ďŹ cers, PW has made a bare-knuckle return to Cynical as some of us reporter-types may be, we live on into the new year journalism that holds public ďŹ gures accountFringe Arts. Wing Bowl. Philly Beer Week. If it’s a regular cultural asset, we were probably and do so with fervent determination. And we have a lot to motivate us. While able to their communities throughout the year. In May, we outed the CEO of Philly’s largest there again this year, documenting it all with iPhones and notepads and cameras in hand. PW is a small team these days, we busted our asses to bring you news from Latino nonproďŹ t after she attended a Trump But we also looked for stories off the beaten in Harrisburg and shed light on her ties to every corner of the city, tell stories of people well-known and obscure, and rally path. Our reporters went to nearly a dozen the state Republican party — a report that trigbars that open at 7:00 a.m. to report on the hold those in power accountable at every turn. This is just a small sampling of gered protests and calls for resignation from city’s early morning drinking scene. Our editor the members of the Latino community. We hit the mats with a jiu-jitsu practicing all-star some of our best chops. Let us know what we did right, and what we could proďŹ led the union-busting chief of SEPTA’s Philly chef. We sat down with everyone from Transit Police, examined the declining homiBlack Thought to B.O.B., from Kristen Welker do better. cide clearance rate of PPD homicide detectives, to Terry Gross to get the story straight from and covered high-proďŹ le local elections with See you in 2018, Philly. the source. Q shoe-leather gusto. Q
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6+,1,1* 7+( 6327/,*+7 ,16,'( 7+( 0$==21, &(17(5 Even organizations that provide vital services to marginalized communities deserve scrutiny. Some could argue they are to be held to an even higher standard. So when Philly Weekly caught word of internal rumblings at the city’s largest LGBTQ organization, we investigated. We reported on the failure to diversify Mazzoni’s upper reaches, covered staffers protests, and exposed allegations of sexual misconduct against one of the center’s top doctors. By early fall, the shakeup at the nonproďŹ t culminated with the resignation of Mazzoni’s longtime director as well as the board president — and a workers’ vote to unionize. Q
(;326,1* 7+( &,9,/ $66(7 )25)(,785( 0$&+,1( In the name of the drug war, Philadelphia law enforcement seizes millions in cash and possessions from regular citizens — sometimes even those who haven’t been charged with a crime. The controversial practice is known as civil asset forfeiture. But what happens to your money after it’s seized remained one of the biggest mysteries in law enforcement — that is until September, when our joint investigation with City & State PA uncovered the secret bank accounts in the District Attorney’s OfďŹ ce. Never-beforepublished records detailed millions in expenses which ranged from the mundane to the bizarre. The story won reporters Max Marin & Ryan Briggs, the latter from City & State PA, a Philadelphia News Award for “Investigative Story of the Year.â€?Q
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Connie Tartaglia has been the face of the jack of all trades show house hearing her name for more than a decade.
Life of the Ric Rac Rockin’12 years strong, here’s how Connie’s became a (versatile) South Philly staple BY A.D. AMOROSI
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arlier this month, Connie’s Ric Rac in the Italian Market celebrated itself in a manner both beďŹ tting its origin story – selling the unique wares and memories of its family – celebrating that Tartaglia clan and its deep roots in the community, and pushing the boundaries of the live performance space and moving forward. With “A Retrospective of the Artistic Works of Connie Villari Tartagliaâ€? – a fundraising beneďŹ t for the National Brain Tumor Society, in the name of her son Joseph Jr. who passed from the disease in 2013 – the person who the Ric Rac was named after, former owner (“we sold junkâ€? she laughs), and family matron gave a glimpse into her life, and the future of how Connie’s can operate. In 2017, along with becoming a gallery exhibi-
tion space, Connie’s has – sadly, but gloriously in a celebratory fashion – become a home for events dedicated to those who have passed in the Philly music scene. This is no mausoleum however. This is a messy rock n’ roll, loud-ass comedy venue, now with an art exhibition to boot. Connie’s has come a long way; not only from its bric-a-brac roots in the 1980s and 90s (yes, the sign painter just screwed up the lettering), but also since the mother gave her sons, Joe Jr. and Frankie, the keys to 1132 S. 9th St instead of turning it into a Laundromat. Back in 2005, the brothers used to have card games and stand up there before they opened it to live music shows, poker and comedy. “Connie started selling her merchandise on eBay and did so well with it, she got rid of her inventory, and decided to shut it down as a walk in business because she was tired of deal-
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ing with all the crazy people on 9th [Street],â€? says Ron Bauman, the current talent booker and public relations man at Connie. “The boys wanted to open it as an artistic venue space for music, comedy and whatever else. When I meet Frank, they were in the process of converting into q venue and the ďŹ rst show took place sometime that summer, 2006.â€?
“We love the punks and they love us. Our walls are black and we’re the least pretentious club in town. Keeping the place going and thriving is done in [Joe’s] honor.� – RON BAUMAN ON CONNIE’S PLACE IN THE COMMUNITY AND KEEPING THE PROMISE OF DOING SO BY DECEASED CO-FOUNDER JOE TARTAGLIA JR. Since getting its liquor license in 2010, Connie’s – along with offering comedians an alternative venue to the established Helium,
and local punks a place to play as Dobbs and Khyber Pass closed out its music programs – has slowly become both a memorial hall and beneďŹ t center for Philly punks fallen and falling. In 2017, Connie’s has hosted live concert events to celebrate the dead (Revival bartender Maryann Memmem, Brown Sugar guitarist Jay Medley) and the hurt in need of money for medical reasons (DIY venue booker Lenny Crunch, Viletones’ guitarist Freddy Pompeii, Dobbs’ bartender Tommy T). Before 2017’s funereal events, Connie’s held medical moneyraising beneďŹ ts for Stickmen’s Beth Lejman and punk-turned-painter Mikey Wilde, as well their memorial showcases. All featured Philadelphia musicians playing for free in which to raise money and spirits for those in need of both. “We love the punks and they love us. Our walls are black and we’re the least pretentious club in town. But. Any conversation about Connie’s would be remiss if we didn’t mention Joe,â€? says Bauman, speaking of Joe “Brownâ€? Tartaglia Jr., the co-owner of the Ric Rac. “Keeping the place going and thriving is done in his honor.â€? This is not to say that Connie’s is a place solely for old heads – far from it. Scads of young, burgeoning Philly bands get their starts and develop their chops at the Ric Rac. Plus, they’re getting to mix and mingle with Philadelphia music elders in a manner than doesn’t happen (too often) elsewhere. To this, Connie Tartaglia says, “the Ric Rac is the greatest failure that ever succeeded,â€? she said with a laugh. “Who knew it could go from almost being a Laundromat to this?â€? As a daughter of the Market – raised on 7th Street by Sicilian laborer parents – she married the boy who was her next door neighbor, Joe Tartaglia Sr., and together they continued to build upon a produce stand dynasty started by Tartaglia’s father before him. As she began painting and drawing as a child, she painted what she saw – her father hanging out with the neighbors, the laborers on the corner. When she had children, she painted them. When her eldest son was dying from the sudden verdict of glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer, she painted that. She never intended to show this work, as it hung on the walls in the house she shares with her husband, and a rescue pooch. “Frankie moved out to Hollywood to give comedy a real shot,â€? said Tartaglia. “He’s the real talent in the family. Yet it was Frankie and Joe Sr. who convinced Connie to show her work, and – in a weird way – inspire the next phase of what the Ric Rac can do with what Bauman calls “its black wallsâ€? and “unpretentiousâ€? dĂŠcor. “It would be nice if it had that additional life to it to go with the music,â€? says Tartaglia of her art exhibition and future gallery events to come. “[But] we never thought it would blossom into all this.â€? Q TWITTER: @ADAMOROSI
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% -u BEST UPSET
While Philly politics as a whole is still, how shall we say, not very good, 2017 was a good year for progressive candidates in Philly. The election of “unelectableâ€? civil rights attorney Larry Krasner to be the city’s next district attorney shook the criminal justice status quo to its core. Moreover, Rebecca Rhynhart’s ascension from political nobody to the ďŹ rst female City Controller, besting a longtime and deeply connected incumbent, was also a sign that maybe Philly voters have had enough of the same old, same old.
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BEST MONUMENT
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BY MAX MARIN & KERITH GABRIEL
Last year, we declared 2016 the “worst year on Planet Earth,� which is pretty hard to out-hyperbole. Was 2017 better? It’s hard to say. Our nation’s forests burned. Hurricanes pummeled our cities and islands. And Donald Trump is still the most powerful and talked about man on the planet. But let’s put national anxieties aside for a moment. Here at PW, we try to keep our eyes on local, both the good and the bad. So this year we’re looking back and giving out awards for the best and worst of the year. Everything and anything goes. The award names don’t matter and the winners/losers don’t have to worry about this blemish showing up on their LinkedIn profiles. It’s all for good fun, in the name of celebrating/roasting another wild year in the most baller city in the country. What were your best and worst of the year, Philly? Tweet us @PhillyWeekly and we’ll show you some love. 3+,/$'(/3+,$:((./< &20
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to Hazim’s mother, who, according to the Inquirer, fudged their home address to send her sons to a better neighborhood school at a young age. To all the Philly kids from rough neighborhoods, to all the moms who never give up, and kids who hit the books: this family showed us how it’s done.
And the winner of best new monument goes to‌ Frank Rizzo! Just kidding. Wow. No, this award most deďŹ nitely goes to Octavius V. Catto, the prominent 19th century African American intellectual and civil rights warrior. Born a free man in antebellum North Carolina, he moved north to Philly as a child, and rose to prominence as a local teacher, activist, and by all accounts a talented sportsman to boot. He was murdered during a race riot on Election Day in 1871, but his memory thankfully lives on now outside of City Hall in the heart of his adopted city.
BEST MANTRA
BEST POLITICIAN
PHOTO: KEITH ALLISON/WIKIPEDIA
Tom Brady can go pound sand. Even with a season-ending torn ACL, Wentz is the MVP of the year in our books. The wily 6-foot-5 sophomore QB has restored the ďŹ ght in the Eagles offense. He ďŹ nished the season early with 11 wins, 2 losses, 33 touchdowns, nearly 3,300 passing yards, and an entire city that couldn’t be more proud of their team this year – trophy or no trophy.
BEST STUDENT
This award goes out to Hazim Hardeman – the North Philly native who became Temple University’s ďŹ rst Rhodes scholar this year – but it also goes out
PHOTO: FACEBOOK
Philly politics isn’t exactly what you’d call inspiring. Or life-afďŹ rming. Or even ethical. OK, Philly politics is mostly all very bad. Depressing, even. But Phillip Garcia, the poet/ PhD candidate/Manayunk resident who wrote in their own name for judge of elections and won with one vote, thus becoming an accidental politician – and maybe the ďŹ rst nonbinary trans elected ofďŹ cial in the city? Well, we’re not sure if this is a good thing for Philly politics or not. But Garcia deďŹ nitely handed their viral political fame with class. You have our vote, Phil. Watch out for the feds now.
He’s still on restricted minutes, but who cares, Joel Embiid is the man. When he is on the court he’s THE best player for the Sixers and his numbers prove it. So what if he needs a routine oor massage during the game, he’s a gamer and is one of the reasons why Philadelphia basketball is relevant again. Plus he’s hilarious, doesn’t give a shit who he offends and his social media game is as strong as his drive to the basket. Thanks for making “the processâ€? a fun one, Joel.
BEST CITYWIDE MOMENT
Shout out to the people that helped to make Philadelphia the center of the football universe as the Parkway played host to the annual NFL Draft. The three-day party was arguably one of the best draft experiences
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WORST DARK CLOUD WITH A PHILLY TIE
SHAME OF THE CITY
ever, breaking the all-time attendance record with more than 250k people checking into the event. We know it was the shit, but it was more eloquently surmised with this tweet from ESPN resident NFL analyst, Adam Schefter:
BEST OF THE REST
No one brought more disgrace to the city this year. In February, embattled District Attorney Seth Williams announced he would not seek reelection for a third term. He cited the cloud of distrust that his actions – for example, not reporting numerous gifts to the ethics watchdogs – had cast on the ofďŹ ce. In March, the other shoe dropped. Federal authorities handed Williams a 23-count indictment on bribery, extortion and fraud charges, ending fevered speculation about a long-running investigation into the DA’s ďŹ nances. Williams was eventually sentenced to ďŹ ve years in federal lockup, solidifying his legacy as the most corrupt big-city DA in recent memory.
Watching the loss of respect occur for legendary Philly comedian and actor Bill Cosby who allegedly drugged and raped numerous women over the course of his career. We watched Cosby stand trial for alleged sexual assault against a former Temple women’s basketball player only to see it end in a mistrial. We also watched as arguably his case led to a larger movement in this country of brave women coming forward against men who abused both power and notoriety for sexual gain. While the spotlight looms bright on so many others, never forget that the Cos’ was one of the originals.
WORST LETDOWN
WORST DRAMA
Fringe Festival takes over the city and it was awesome. Cai-Guo Qiang creates “Fireies,â€? which featured 30 pedicabs strung with more than 1,000 Chinese lanterns giving rides up and down a stretch of the Parkway, during its centennial celebration. Kevin Hart randomly doing a pair of free impromptu shows at Helium Comedy Club and PunchLine Philly in March. The Free Library expanding its literacy program to 11 branches in an effort to boost reading levels by fourth grade. The record number of protests, demonstrations and rallies that took place in the city in the aftermath of one of the weirdest political years in recent memory. A collective group that silently put Philly on the map in Seattle in an effort to subtly persuade Amazon to consider the City of Brotherly Love as the home for its second headquarters. The hysteria that was the solar eclipse.
Watching the CEO of Philly’s largest Latino organization sitting front row at a Donald Trump rally. Such was the case this past spring, when a photo surfaced of Carolina Cabrera DiGiorgio sitting behind President Trump. Trump who has been adamant about immigration reform and building a wall to keep Mexicans and other South Americans from crossing the border, has a fan in DiGiorgio, wife of GOP chair Val DiGiorgio, as she could be seen clapping and cheering for Trump as he used words like “fake news� at the event. One Congreso employee told PW under condition of anonymity: “How could she be there when she is the CEO of an organization that is completely against almost everything that has come out of that man’s mouth?� It’s a fair question. It was a mostly drama-less year in City Council’s chambers, all things considered. But we couldn’t escape 2017 without at least one complete shitshow. In December, Councilwoman Cindy Bass’ “stop-and-go� bill roiled the city over a push to remove bulletproof glass from the city’s legion of notorious beer delis.
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WORST IDEA
Not thinking through what happens next for the scores of addicts who lived in El Campamento, the stretch of railroad tracks in Kensington that were razed earlier this year. The move forcibly displaced hundreds of people who now reside under bridges, in abandoned
cars and on front stoops throughout the River Wards. It’s a problem that has gotten so out of control that in December residents took their complaints to City Hall, forcing Mayor Jim Kenney to make the creation of a solve priority No. 1 as part of an effort to “improve the quality of life� in the Kensington and Fairhill neighborhoods. A big part of his solve will be to increase police presence, provide drug treatment but more importantly offer housing to addicted individuals, an idea that should have been thought of before kicking addicts out.
THE WORST OF THE WORST
The alleged sex scandal and subsequent resignation of executives at the Mazzoni Center, Philadelphia’s largest LGBT healthcare facility. The Frank Rizzo statue soap opera. Former Strawberry Mansion High girls lacrosse player loses her scholarship to a Division I school after it was revealed that the league she played in didn’t qualify her for eligibility to receive an athletic scholarship. The four-day immigration raid that either detained or deported 498 people throughout Philly as part of “Operation Safe City. Many believe it was ICE showing its muscle in a metropolis that prides itself on being a sanctuary city. Q
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Find more events at philadelphiaweekly.com/calendar Tell us about your upcoming events! Send press releases and information to: events@phillyweekly.com
beautiful friendship� with the dynamic bar. | 7pm. Free admission. BeerLOVE, 714 S. 4th St. beerlovephilly.com
FESTIVAL
Dino-mite Winter Festival
drink, and enjoy some good music. | 8-11pm. $24 general admission. MilkBoy Philadelphia, 1100 Chestnut St. thatslivephiladelphia. com
THEATER
It’s cold outside, but at least it’s not the ice age! Come see the butteries, fossils, live animal demonstrations and more. Participate in activities, such as Special Tiny Titans dinosaur Make-and-Take. | 10am-5pm. Free for members or with general museum admission. The Academy of Natural Sciences, 1900 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. ansp.org
COMMUNITY
Northeast LGBTQ Night Out
Join Rosella with Live Cabaret, and meet up with others in the LGBTQ community. Enjoy specialty and classic cocktails, custom brewed House craft beers and all the old favorites at this monthly meet-up. | 7pmmidnight. Free admission. SawTown Tavern, 4717-19 Princeton Ave. sawtown.com
the scene What to do in & around the city
SugarHouse Casino Mummers Parade
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f you’re not feeling the effects of that turn up from watching the ball drop, then keep the party going and head out to watch one of Philly’s greatest and most unique traditions. The Mummers Parade is an eccentric and fun tradition, nearing 120 years of existence. Made up of 10,000 women, men and children dressed to the nines in extravagant costumes, watch from the sidelines as they make their way through the city. Experience the hoopla from the sidewalks or from restaurants and other vendors that will have fun events to commemorate the occasion. There are also two ticketed Fancy Brigade shows at the Convention Center later in the day. Now while you may have toasted the champagne so hard it was burnt black, it would be an absolute shame to miss this Philly-staple, time-honored event. Monday, Jan. 1 | 9am. Free. Starts at City Hall, heads south to Washington Avenue, and ďŹ nishes at Pennsylvania Convention Center. mrmummer.com/2018-mummers-parade-route/
– ANDREA CANTOR | @ANDREAJCANTOR
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 27 GAMES
Harry Potter Quizzo
Would you have aced your OWLS? Be a Hermione Grainger, and show off your Potterhead knowledge at this themed trivia. From “The Sorcerer’s Stoneâ€? to the ďŹ nal scenes of “The Deathly Hallows Part 2,â€? the whole series is fair game. Win prizes, including a $100 gift card, concert tickets and swag. Teams may consist of one-to-six people and
COMEDY
Callback Comedy Open Mic
Think you got the comedy chops? Bring your best four-minute stand-up, and take the stage. If you bring your comic A-game, you may have a chance to be featured at the monthly Philly Comedy Showcase! | 8-11pm. Free. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 28 MUSIC
Misletoe Jam
Keep up the festive spirit with the Mistletoe Jam. The night includes a whole lineup of performers: John Faye, Molly Rhythm, Kid Felix, Bong Hits for Jesus, Stereotytans and Lexi Vaganos. Music lovers will deďŹ nitely feel the mistletoe love. | 7pm. $15plus fees. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. tickety.com/purchase
MUSIC
DRINKS
Bold Cheeses and Bubbles: New Year’s Dream
What says decadence more than wine and cheese? Pop some bottles early for New Year’s, and learn how different sparkling wines pair with different types of cheeses. | 7-10pm. Free. Alchemist Society, 1110 N. Front St. homebrewedevents.com
DRINKS
Happy Hour with the PSPCA
The holidays can be “ruff�! So come relax with some adoptable pups and drink ciders. For every Commonwealth Cider ordered, $1 will be donated to the PSPCA. Now that’s a deal that can get any animal lover’s tail wagging! | 6-8pm. Free admission. The El Bar, 1356 N. Front St. pspca.org
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 29 Kwanzaa Celebration
MOVIE
Movie Night: ‘Casablanca’
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Don’t just walk over to see this show, STOMP over! Enjoy the performance that has captivated audiences time and time again. Watch and listen to musical stylings of the eight-member troupe that uses unconventional items as instruments. Experience what sounds matchboxes, wooden poles, brooms, garbage cans, Zippo lighters and hubcaps can make! The show will be running through Dec. 31. | 7:30pm. Price varies. Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org
HOLIDAY
will be admitted on a ďŹ rst-come basis. Get ready for a bloody brilliant night. | 6:30pm. Free admission. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive.com
“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine‌â€? BeerLOVE welcomes you to watch the timeless classic. Enjoy modern, beer-cocktail takes on classic cocktails. With a great movie and delicious drinks, this will be “the beginning of a
STOMP
Chill Moody
Let’s chill out to Chill Moody. Groove out to the West Philly hip-hop artist. Grab a
Happy Kwanzaa! Join the African Heritage Ministry to celebrate the holiday. Kwanzaa is a weeklong celebration honoring African heritage in African American culture. Kwanzaa has seven core principles: Umoja, Kujichagulia, Ujima, Ujamaa, Nia, Kuumba and Imani. The day’s celebration includes gifts, African dancing, arts and crafts, food, storytelling and live music. | 4-8pm. Enon Tabernacle Baptist Church, 2800 W. Cheltenham Ave. http:// www.enontab.org
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FOOD
NYE CELEBRATION
New Year’s Funkin’ Eve
Get down with your funky self this New Year’s Eve. Dance to Ill Doots & DJ Dame Luz. Drink at beer garden ďŹ re pits. Champagne toast to the New Year with a balloon drop. Watch the ďŹ reworks from Race Street Pier, and then come back in to party some more. | $49 general, $34.30 members, $35 students and ages 21-25. FringeArts, 140 N. Christopher Columbus Blvd. fringearts. com/event/new-years-funkineve-2017/
Sushi Class in Philly
Let’s sushi roll on over to this cooking class! Create sushi rolls, hand rolls, pickled ginger and a miso soup along with a sriracha and wasabi mayo. Drink some sake as you learn all about sushi. The class will have complimentary sake, wine and creme brulee style cheesecake. | 7-9pm. $125. Let’s Cultivate Food, 4658 Umbria St. lcfcatering2.wixsite. com
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 30 CAUSES
MUSEUM
Winter Break
Just because it is winter break doesn’t mean the kids have to stop learning. For an experience that shows knowledge can be fun, bring the whole family to ďŹ nd out about the American Revolution. En garde! Today will be a special event about the art of fencing. Acquire the basics of fencing skills found in Revolutionary Philadelphia. | 10am-6pm. Price varies. Museum of the American Revolution, 11 S. 3rd St. amrevmuseum.org
MUSIC
Dark Star Orchestra
Are you a Grateful Dead fan? Listen to the seven musician tribute band perform from the Grateful Dead’s 30 years of work, both honoring the rock songs and giving their own personal air to them as well. Opening act will be Dirty Brass Band, whose latest album blends R&B, jazz, funk, Afro-Latino grooves, some Caribbean avor —and even has a Rihanna cover. | 8pm. $29.50 advanced, $35 door. Electric Factory, 421 N. 7th St. electricfactory.info
ARTS & CRAFTS
New Year’s Eve Countdown Night
It’s time to break out the party hats and noisemakers! Bring the kids to create their own New Year’s Eve crafts. Look at the light display as you craft away. | 5:30pm. Free. Franklin Square Holiday Festival, 200 N. 6th St. historicphiladelphia.org
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yourself to this fab brunch. Celebrating its second year, all ages are welcome to experience the diva-ďŹ lled performance. The lineup includes: Mimi Imfurst, Bev, Vinchelle, Sutton Fearce, Cleo Phatra, Anita Manhattan, ZsaZsa St. James, Aurora Whorealis, Ophelia Hotass, and weekly special guests. While all ages are invited, know that there will be adult humor. Sometimes naughty, never raunchy, always fun. | 11am. $30 plus fees. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. mimiimfurst.com
colors. There are tons of places you can get a great view of the extravaganza. Don’t just watch the shows on television, come on out, and experience it yourself. | 6pm, Midnight. Free. Along the Delaware River. delawareriverwaterfront.com/events
NYE CELEBRATION
COMEDY
Justify Your Love
Feeding the Homeless
Get a jump-start on your New Year’s resolutions by helping those in need. Join D.O.P.E. as they distribute clothing, food, shoes and blankets. | 8-10pm. Free. Dilworth Park, 1 S. 15th St. eventbrite.com/e/help-usfeed-the-homeless-tickets-41351809375
NIGHTLIFE
Unicorn Party
For a magical night where unicorns come to life, get ready to party it out at this sparkly event. Lose yourself in a wonderland of glitter. Dance to music throwbacks from high school as well as current hits. | 10pm-2am. $5. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave.
DRAG SHOW
Drag Diva Brunch
Even if you’re tired, make sure to drag
Are you tired of friends hating on your favorite songs? Come ready for a night of laughs as comedians try to defend their love of a truly terrible song. Will the judges validate or villainize their bad taste? | 7-8pm. 10pm. Good Good Comedy Theatre, 215 N. 11th St. goodgoodcomedy.com/justify/
TOUR
Free Brewery Tour
Attention all beer drinkers, take a step behind the curtain, and get a behind-the-scenes look at how beer is made. Tour one of Philadelphia’s only original brewery buildings from the 1800s. The grand tasting room is open to the public for beer and cider tastings. At 1pm, there will be a Pizza Jawn Pop-up. | Noon. Free. Philadelphia Brewing Co., 2440 Frankford Ave. philadelphiabrewing.com
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 31 NYE CELEBRATION
SugarHouse Casino Fireworks
Let’s get lit — with ďŹ reworks! Celebrate the end of 2017 and the beginning of the new year with the night sky ďŹ lled with sparks and
COURTESY JESSICAGRIFFIN
The Philadelphia Orchestra
The whole world is ringing in 2018 so why not listen to music from all parts of the globe? Conductor StÊphane Denève and the Orchestra play favorites and new surprises from East to West. From classical to musical staples, this will be an enchanting concert to whisk you into the New Year. | 7:30pm. Prices vary. Verizon Hall, 300 S. Broad St. philorch.org/ concert
NYE CELEBRATION
NYE Live! Philadelphia 2018
One ticket, ďŹ ve venues, ďŹ ve hours of New Year’s fun. Amazing venues and ďŹ ve hours of fun! Enjoy a food and beverage package, live music from Split Decision and other artists, karaoke, bull riding and dancing. Ring in the New Year with a midnight ball drop and champagne toast. | 9pm-2am. $110 general admission. XFINITY Live!, 1100 Pattison Ave. xďŹ nitylive.com/
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NYE CELEBRATION
MONDAY, JANUARY 1
Countdown2Noon
Celebrate New Year before naptime? Count me in! The morning at the Please Touch Museum will be chock-full of entertainment, including crafts, story time, live music, a countdown performance and a traditional New Year’s Eve ball drop. Who says you have to be an adult to get into the festive spirit? | 9am-3pm. $22 early bird. Please Touch Museum, 4231 Avenue of the Republic. pleasetouchmuseum.org/event
FITNESS
Resolution Run!
No 1 on the New Year’s resolution list is to be healthier – maybe even get in shape for a marathon? Start off strong with a 3ish-mile run. After the run, enjoy light refreshments, rafes, and a resolution wall. | 10amNoon. Preregister. Philadelphia Runner, 1601 Sansom St. phillyrun.ticketleap.com/2018-resolution-run/
MONDAY, JANUARY 1 FOOD & DRINK
New Year’s Day at Tattooed Mom
While others get a head start on resolution goals, you can get a head start on eating and drinking more. Come for a free buffet and drink specials as well as a limited edition postcard and poster art by Leah Sabatelli! So sleep in late, stay in your pjs and get ready to celebrate New Year’s Day. | Brunch menu available. Noon-4:30pm. Free. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. tattooedmomphilly.com/event/ new-years-day/
Operation and more while drinking fun cocktails. Eat, drink, play! | 6-8pm. Free admission. Rothman Institute Orthopaedics Cabin at Dilworth Park, 1 S. 15th St. centercityphila.org/parks/dilworth-park
THEATRE
Let’s start the New Year off right with yoga. Stretch and take in an hour of wellness. Roots2Rise takes place every Tuesday evening. No pre-registration is necessary, and mats can be provided if needed. | 6:307:30pm. $5. DiSilvestro Playground, 1701 S. 15th St. roots2rise.org
New Year’s Day Flow
CRUISE BRUNCH
New Year’s Day Brunch
Let’s cruise into the ofďŹ cial ďŹ rst day of 2018 with a brunch. Sail the Delaware River with a signature buffet setup. Enjoy DJ entertainment, festive holiday dĂŠcor and the views of Philly from the water. | 1-3pm. Prices vary. Spirit of Philadelphia, 401 S. Christopher Columbus Blvd. spiritcruises.com/philadelphia
TUESDAY, JANUARY 2 GAMES
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 3 ‘Peter Pan’
COURTESY MARK GARVIN
With the start of a new year, wish you could stay young forever? Join the boy who never wants to grow up in Peter Pan, the Lost Boys, and Tinkerbell as they try to save the Darling children from Captain Hook. All you need is some pixie dust and to believe – and a ticket. The show is running through Jan. 28. | Noon. Arden Theatre Company in Philadelphia, 40 N. 2nd St. Prices vary. ardentheatre. org
ENTERTAINMENT
Open Mic Night
Think you got the chops to take the stage? All are welcome, whether a novice who wants to take a crack at the mic or an expert who wants to polish their craft. Too nervous this time around? No worries. The Raven Lounge has an open mic every Tuesday. | 9pm. Free. The Raven Lounge, 1718 Sansom St. ravenlounge.com
KARAOKE
Game Night
What could be better than a classic game night? Nothing! Play Battleship, checkers,
YOGA
Yoga with Roots2Rise
YOGA Sun salute the New Year. Set your intentions for 2018, and start your year off with self-care! Work your way up to a vinyasa ow. Leave feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and ready to take on 2018. | 10-11:30am. $25. Tara Yoga, 84 Bethlehem Pike. tarayogaphilly.com/workshops
wings. If you can’t make it, Cavanaugh’s has karaoke every Tuesday. | 9pm. Free admission. Cavanaugh’s University City, 119 S. 39th St. cavanaughsrestaurant.com
COMEDY
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MUSIC
Karaoke Night
Why just listen to music when you can provide it? Sing the night away. The event will also include drinks specials with $3 beer, $4 wine and $5 cocktails. Perfect prices for that liquid courage you may need to take the stage. | 7pm. Free admission. Raven Lounge, 1718 Sansom St. ravenlounge.com
COMEDY
Philly All-Pro Comedy Showcase Northern Comedies Get over hump day with laughter. The only thing that is not funny is how cheap these tickets are! For only $8 you can watch eight of Philly’s top comics. Crack up all while supporting your local comic scene. Chris O’Connor headlines the show. | 8pm. $8. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com
DRINKS
Wine 101: Intro to Wine
Wish you had more conďŹ dence when picking a bottle of wine at dinner? Want to have a greater appreciation for ďŹ ne wines? Find out the wine basics and about the Wine School of Philadelphia during this introductory class. For the beginner class, learn about eight of the most important wine grapes. Learn, taste and savor. | 7:30-9:30pm. Price varies. Wine School of Philadelphia, 109 S. 22nd St. vinology.com/class/101/
MOVIE
Tuesday Karaoke at Cavanaugh’s Movie Night: ‘Coraline’ Who says you can’t have fun on a Tuesday night? Get ready to belt out your favorites songs on the mic. Enjoy $2 drafts and 75-cent
buttons, you should make sure they don’t get sewn into your eyes! Watch the thrilling tale of a girl who wishes for a better family, but soon regrets it when she gets one. | 7-9pm. Free admission. Beer Love, 714 S. 4th St. beerlovephilly.com
Don’t get it twisted, this animated movie is not your typical happy-go-lucky, cute-as -a-button cartoon ďŹ lm. Actually if there are
Come for laughs, stay for laughs. The Northern Comedies monthly show has paired local and national comics for an evening of fun jokes and story telling. Hosting the event is Michelle Biloon, who has appeared in: “Comedy Bang Bang� podcast, “2 Dope Queens,� “Doug Loves Movies,� “Chelsea Lately,� and “Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.� Featuring a great lineup of comics, the performances include Tom Thakkar, Eric Dadourian, Peggy O’Leary, Caitlin Feeney, Dave Primiano, Chris Stenta and Yemima. | 9pm. Free admission. northerncomedies.com
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SAVAGE LOVE
turbing� that I like what he’s been doing. Two questions: (1) Smacking my butt is okay so long as I don’t want it? (2) Enjoying what he’s doing makes me a freak? – Joking About Consensual Kinks
Quickies
Two options: (1) He goes in for domineering head games and “playful� violence because he’s abusive and controlling. (2) He’s got kinks, but he hasn’t managed to incorporate his kinks into his sex life in a healthy, consensual manner— and now that he knows you enjoy the same things he does (but you’re healthier about them than he is), he’s projecting his self-loathing onto you. Either way, JACK, you’re going to need to DTMFA.
DAN SAVAGE I have been with my unicorn boyfriend for four months. The sexual chemistry between us is out of this world! I’m a woman who’s very openminded when it comes to trying new things: I’ve had threesomes and foursomes, tried every toy on the market, done anal sex, BDSM, and many other things. He is sexually experienced, but he’s not open-minded. One thing he won’t do is kiss me after I’ve swallowed his load. We’ve been together only four months, so maybe I just need to wait and hope that he’ll come around. Or is there something I can do to get him to try it? – Can’t Unicorn Man Up?
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If that’s the only thing he won’t do—if every toy on the market is on the table, along with threesomes, foursomes, BDSM, etc.—then he’s pretty adventurous. But if kissing after you’ve swallowed is the only mildly kinky thing you’ve attempted with him and it was a no, he may not be adventurous enough to deserve unicorn status. But I will say this in his defense‌ Kissing someone who has just swallowed your load (or snowballing with someone who wants you to swallow your own load) presents a challenge for many men. Some silly straight men worry that tasting their own come will turn them gay or make them look gay—I’ve gotten letters from girlfriends who thought their boyfriends were gay because they were too willing to kiss them after a blowjob. But there are gay men out there who don’t want to deep-kiss the guy who just blew them—and they’re obviously not worried about turning gay (already are) or seeming gay (ditto). So what gives? Blame what’s known as the “refractory period,â€? CUMU. Immediately after a man ejaculates, his dick starts to go soft and he loses all interest in sex—hormones have been released into his bloodstream that shortcircuit sexual arousal. Bodily uids and oriďŹ ces a man was happily lapping up or at a minute ago are suddenly repulsive, not because the dude is necessarily inhibited or insecure, CUMU, but because he’s having his period—his refractory period. I’ve been seeing this guy who keeps making douchebag jokes and moves—he smacks my butt a lot, for example. When I let him know I like it, he’s suddenly not into it. He says it’s “dis-
You recently said it’s okay to fantasize about other people so long as we keep it to ourselves. Social media and dating apps have given us access to tons of spank material, from that new crush on OkCupid to the (monogamously) married neighbor you always wanted to bang. In this era, we can see actual pictures of the people we’re fantasizing about more often than not. Facebook stalking for spank bank purposes is ďŹ ne—we all do it—but does it cross a line to actually download the pictures for later? I feel like it’s at least a little creepy to be taking screenshots of people’s photos. But as long as you’re the only one using your phone, what’s the practical difference between looking at Facebook and looking at saved screenshots? – Screenshot Porn As New Kontent Keep whatever you want on your phone, SPANK, so long as you keep it to yourself and your phone is password protected. I am a 29-year-old straight woman on the West Coast in a new relationship. My boyfriend and I have just begun exploring anal sex. Question: HOW DO I AVOID POOP LEAKAGE?!? The ďŹ rst time we had anal sex, my boyfriend came in my ass and then pulled out. Then we decided to go for a run. (We didn’t think it through, CLEARLY.) A few minutes in, I was leaking all over my pants. In short, GROSS. Obviously it wasn’t a good idea to go for a run afterward (NOTED!), but what can I do in the future immediately after anal to avoid poopy come from leaking out of my butt? – Anal Newbie Avoiding Leakage Yeah, don’t go for a run immediately after anal. Spend a few minutes on the toilet instead— bring your phone, post something to Instagram, let gravity do its thing. And that wasn’t poop leaking out of you on that run, ANAL, it was santorum—“the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.â€? No one aroused by BDSM could ever truly love someone, could they? – Violence Isn’t Love, Eh? Of course not, VILE. But only the Duggar girls and Princess Diana’s boys are capable of truly loving someone. The rest of us are just playing. Q
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Whatever your choice of Celebration is We hope it is Full of Blessings, Peace and Happiness this Holiday Season and all the Best in the Coming Year.
Thank You for Another Great Year!
www.conwayteam.com kathy@conwayteam.com patrick@conwayteam.com
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FOR MORE INFORMATION AND A LIST OF OUR INVENTORY PROFESSIONAL PHOTOS, OPEN HOUSES AND VIRUTAL TOURS
To place your line ad call:
215-355-1234
Kathy: 215-850-3842
Patrick: 215-266-1537
Main: 215-627-6005
WEEKLY .035("(& 3"5&4 Presented by Prudential Bank
30YR Fixed Rate Mortgage
Rate 4.250% APR 4.284% Rates as of December 26, 2017 10:00 AM. *APR= Annual Percentage Rate. Rates subject to change daily (including same day). For real time rates, please call 215-755-1500. The rate you receive may be higher based on credit score, mortgage loan-to-value ratio and other loan factors. Please call for Jumbo Rates (above $417,000). Subject to credit approval. Property insurance required. Loan to values from 80% to 97% require PMI (Private Mortgage Insurance). Other costs and fees may apply. Monthly P&I payment of $1303.64 based on a $265,000.00 loan amount, 360-month term, assumed credit score of 740 & loan-to-value of 80%. *P&I= Principal and Interest. These payments do not include amounts for taxes and insurance premiums; actual payment will be greater. NMLS #518005
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