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DECEMBER 6-13, 2018
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FROM THE EDITOR
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Good, but not great KERITH GABRIEL
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his week, GQ Magazine named Philadelphia, “City of the Year.â€? I think anyone living in Philadelphia right now can attest that there is a transformation going on that is unprecedented. New business has spawned new housing, which has spawned entertainment and events that arguably wouldn’t have even considered Philadelphia a decade ago. There’s even more interest from city government agencies to do more. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Parks and Recreation, for all its faults in the inner city, more excited to bring attention to neighborhoods via its programs, mainly its Parks on Tap initiative, which has been a success. Also, pop-up bars, outdoor movie nights you name it, have all contributed to a new culture and way of thinking about life in Philadelphia. Neighborhoods once deemed uninhabitable have been revitalized. Three of our sports teams have given us something to be proud of, and as the GQ article attests, the city is home to some of the most award-winning restaurants and chefs of said restaurants in the world. Yes, it’s true. It’s a good time to be a Philadelphian. If you can afford it. What the article doesn’t mention is that we are still a city where a quarter of our residents live below the poverty line. People will argue well, that’s because the school system is so bad and old school residents aren’t getting a quality education. Well, perhaps that wouldn’t be the case if the city, which largely funds its own school system with minimal help from the state, didn’t lose out on millions in possible funding courtesy of abated property taxes and other tax breaks to entice young suburbia to move here. A recent report notes that the School District lost out on $62 million in funding in 2017, one of the reasons being a direct result of the 10-year tax abatement. Imagine all the good that could’ve been done if $62 million was dispensed into the right hands to directly beneďŹ t the education of children in the city of Philadelphia? I guarantee you those same poverty rates
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would decrease signiďŹ cantly over a generation. Full disclosure, I myself am part of the problem. I grew up in Hunting Park for a large part of my life, but there’s an near-equally sized piece of my life pie that resided on the Main Line. I went to a great high school, attended a great college and when I decided to move back to Philadelphia and start a family here, I went for a house boasting an abatement in a developing neighborhood. It was a decision made with children in mind who needed a strong foundation, and at the time, I was able to afford it only due to the rebate. I’ve talked to countless others from all over the city in the same boat as me who will tell you the same: the rebate was a game changer, allowing them to be able to afford to move into the city and purchase a house or buy a storefront for their small business. It’s been a difference maker, but one that has come to the detriment of long-term residents – young and old. The trick now is to get families like mine to remain in Philly and help it grow. Too many young families are coming here, soaking up all the riches the city has to offer and then hightailing it for better schools, less litter and greener grass. What’s the solve to keep them here while serving the needs of lifelong residents who love their community for better or for worse? What’s the solve for them to not get “priced outâ€? and to be a part of a community, able to vote longterm on whether to have another coffee shop or craft brewery invade their neighborhood? That’s for minds greater than mine to ďŹ gure out who sit in more prominent positions, too. But I do know it can be done. What I love most about my neighborhood is the diversity and richness that wasn’t there when I was growing up. Neighbors of all different races – and sexual orientations (which, yes, does matter) – commingling for common community goals. Growing up in North Philly in early 1990s, the only time I can remember seeing white people was when I went to school or when there was police activity. But that’s all changed and I’ll argue that is what has made Philadelphia the new “ITâ€? city. Along with a Super Bowl championship, a NCAA national basketball title, top restaurants on the Zagat list and, of course, an ugly ass orange fur ball named, Gritty, this a city of neighborhoods teeming with diversity. But we need to get it to a point of being old and new, not old vs. new. All of which relies on elected ofďŹ cials to ensure fairness and equality in the pursuit of an economic revival for every resident. Not just for the ones who can afford it. Q TWITTER: @SPRTSWTR
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Connect with us: @PhillyWeekly EDITORIAL Kerith Gabriel, Editor kgabriel@philadelphiaweekly.com Andrea Cantor, Senior Staff Writer acantor@philadelphiaweekly.com
state city
CONTRIBUTORS Daniel Barnes, Kriston Bethel, Courtenay Harris-Bond, John N. McGuire, Jared Brey, Jon Hurdle, Dan Savage, Shealyn Kilroy, Mark Makela, Timaree Schmit, Heidi Wiley, Resolve Philadelphia BUSINESS Dan McDonough, Publisher dmcdonough@philadelphiaweekly.com Deidre Simms, Director of Major Accounts deidre@philadelphiaweekly.com PRODUCTION Mark Homer, Design & Layout PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY 1520 Locust St. Fifth Floor, Philadelphia, Pa. 19102 Phone: (844) 469-6336 Classified: 215-354-3054 mail@philadelphiaweekly.com
.(1'$// -(11(5 29(5+($5' -,1;" in 3+,//< Last week, we told you how there were SixĹ’,Ĺ?P QRW ZRUULHG DERXW KLP , FDXJKW KLP VQLŧ QJ P\ SDQWLHV WKH RWKHU GD\ , JRW WKDW >JX\@ RQ ORFN JLUO +HĹ?OO ZDWFK WKHP EDELHV 6R ZKDW WLPH GR \RX ZDQW PH WR SLFN \RX XS"Ĺ“ – Woman on phone with girlfriend as she casually shopped for knickknacks outside Christmas Village over the weekend. Clearly she either has a devoted partner, a dutiful father or her own BDSM slave waiting for her at home. Either way, here’s hoping Saturday night was poppin’. '(&(0%(5
ers fans so irate that Kendall Jenner attended a home game that there was actually a Change.org petition created to ban her from attending future games. Some fans actually believed that it was Jenner who caused a Sixers loss to the Cavaliers, ending the team’s perfect home record. This week, Jenner’s sports tour of our fair city continued, compliments of boytoy Ben Simmons – but this time it actually ended in favor for one of the city’s college basketball teams. Late last week, Simmons and Jenner attended a Drexel basketball game at the Daskalakis Athletic Center. Simmons was there to watch Matt McConnell, the brother of Sixers teammate T.J. McConnell. We’re here to report that Drexel won the game handedly, celebrating an 82-69 win and dispelling the notion of Jenner being a jinx to Philly sports teams. However, McConnell’s brother plays for Robert Morris, the team Simmons was there to support, so maybe there’s some truth to it – but at least it worked out in our favor. Q
:25. %5($. It took six months, but it’s finally time to celebrate. This week, City Council passed the Fair Workweek bill backed by Mayor Jim Kenney, eight Council members, and over 60 work organizations. The bill provides protections for lower-wage workers in food service, retail and hospitality sectors, a total of roughly 130,000 people currently working in Philadelphia. The bill advocates access to more hours of work, ensures compensation for schedule changes resulting in overtime and protection for whistleblowers of companies not holding up their end of the bargain. Councilwoman Helen Gym, who championed the bill into existence, said this acts as a step to change “the way we talk about poverty, work and prosperity in the City of Philadelphia.�Q
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18 The percentage of which many young Philadelphians still rely on their parents to afford the luxury of living in Philadelphia. This is according to the latest rental study from Zumper.com, which noted that this percentage of “millennial moochers� is the third-highest in the country. Only Detroit and Austin, Texas, have more 18-24 year-olds stumbling back from bars at 2 a.m. and passing out on a Raymour and Flanigan sectional, courtesy of mommy and daddy’s hard-earned money. Q
The amount in funding the School District of Philadelphia missed out on in 2017 as a result of building abatements and other tax breaks, according to a report released Monday. Only one other school district (the Hillsboro School District in Portland, Oregon, lost out on $97 million) in the country lost more than Philadelphia. Look around the city right now, and the number of potholes on city blocks from digging up streets to install piping for new construction homes and businesses, and it’s pretty undeniable the city values development for new residents over educating the students who live here. But can this be seen as baby steps toward a better schools in Philadelphia? It’s deďŹ nitely a wait-and-see approach. Q 3+,/$'(/3+,$:((./< &20
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Advertising
KURT VILE FTW As Kurt Vile prepares to return home for a Dec. 29 show at The Met, a partnership deal with rideshare company Lyft is doing its part to make sure you don’t forget it. Between now and Dec. 10, order a Lyft in Philly and riders will receive 20 percent off their fare and a chance to win tickets to Vile’s show. Follow us on Twitter for the link to sign up, ride and that chance to win. Q
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IMAGE: ANDREA CANTOR
Michael McGettigan started Publetters as a way to ensure traditional letter writing doesn’t become a lost art.
Call him ‘Old Fashioned’ Meet Michael McGettigan, founder of weekly meetup, Publetters BY ANDREA CANTOR
I
f you are looking for Michael McGettigan, 64, on a Tuesday night, you are sure to ďŹ nd him in one of Philly’s many bars. With a hand on a pint of beer and the other on a large briefcase, this Tuesday night McGettein is at Fergie’s Pub. Propped open on the table, his case reveals an assortment of pens, paper, postcards, envelopes and stamps. It also contains lists with addresses of celebrities, athletes, politicians, and other “notablesâ€? that McGettin collects through various methods and sites, such as IMDb.
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It’s all part of McGettigan’s weekly throwback Publetters. Presented by Yards Brewing, Publetters is a retreat from life’s hustle and bustle, where people can forgo the text and opt for the ink. “If you are sending an email or text, nobody cares. That’s just the way it’s done,â€? said McGettigan, whose letter writing heroes include Barack Obama, Oscar Wilde and Paul Auster. “But if you are writing a letter on postcard or paper, people go ‘wow, who are you writing to? Why are you bothering to slow down and do something that is more work?’â€? A writer places her postcard addressed to Representative Dwight Evans inside the briefcase, and another woman ips through a book of stamps and selects a psychedelic depiction John Lennon.
“They know the drill,â€? explained McGettigan. The stated drill is that visitors come to the chosen bar of that month, pick up the letter supplies free of charge, and either write to a loved one or someone from the infamous list of addresses. A variety best compared to Willy Wonka’s chocolates, the addresses range from Senator Kamala Harris to Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz, actor Benedict Cumberbatch to singer Frank Ocean. The letter writer can either use their home or the bar as the return address, and then place their homage to the past in the briefcase for McGettin to mail out on his way home. McGettigan remembers when Pope Francis responded to a letter sent from Doobies Bar, the place where Mcgettigan came up with the idea on his second pint. McGettigan laughs, recalling that the Pope wrote “Dear Doobie,â€? confusing the bar for the person who had written him. A self-professed “old-fashioned guy,â€? McGettigan’s many interests include ďŹ lm cameras, typewriters, fountain pens and bicycles. But for someone who prefers the traditional, McGettin took and leads a very unconventional path. A dropout from West Philadelphia Catholic High School for Boys, McGettigan became an apprentice as a piano tuner, reaching his “peakâ€? when he tuned the piano for Patti Labelle’s band at the Academy of Music. But feeling life’s ennui, he decided to leave piano tuning to ďŹ nish his high school degree through the Parkway program, a radical difference from the strict Catholic school. Nixing college, he went onto write for the City Paper and Philadelphia Weekly but “hit a ceilingâ€? without a journalism degree. About 20 years ago, McGettigan would ďŹ nd his next and current vocation as the owner of independent Trophy Bikes. Having long maintained a fondness for bicycles, he likens the mode of transportation to letter writing. “If you are trying to get somewhere really fast, then, yeah, take an Uber, but if you are trying to see the city, take a bicycle,â€? said McGettigan. “The same with writing, it’s putting you in a different place, just because it is slower. And when things take longer to do, they are often done better.â€? Each Publetters session draws about 10 to 20 writers, producing
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Publetters takes place every Tuesday night at a new bar each month. approximately 10 to 30 letters. The record for one night is 79 letters. Publetters is not McGettigan’s only communally nostalgic event. In 2010, he had a Type-In, where local typewriter enthusiasts came and participated in speed typing contests, repair classes, trading and, of course, letter writing. While the event drew only a dozen or so, according to McGettigan, the concept hit “a sentimental note� with journalists and was heavily covered. It ultimately made national news, sparking type-ins around the globe. McGettigan hopes to expand letter writing beyond pubs. He is currently planning Cafe Letters and is in talks with a coffee chain that he only hints is “not Starbucks.� Millennials comprise a good portion of the attendees to Publetters, a demographic born in the tech age. “I remind people this is going to last a
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1,000 years and then they get nervous. I go, don’t panic, don’t worry, but do write the date on it,� explained McGettigan. “By putting it as 2018, you are giving evidence that letter writing still exists.� On occasion, McGettigan has instructed a Millennial or two on letter writing basics, such as how to address an envelope. Once, a young woman asked if she should put the stamp in the center of the envelope. “After that was squared away, she then texted someone ‘I just wrote you a letter, haha,’� Mcgettigan recalled. “To me it was this meta moment, and I knew that the letter would outlive the text.� Q Publetters | Tuesdays, 7-9pm. Free. December will be at Doobie’s Bar, 22nd & Lombard Sts. publetters.com/
THE BEST SPENT LUNCH BREAK IS ONE THAT FEEDS THE NEEDS OF ANOTHER. Volunteer for Meals on Wheels AmericaLetsDoLunch.org
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The BIG Picture
Christmas Village and City Hall: It may look like just a bunch of kiosks to us, but Philly photographer Heidi Wiley still has a way of making Christmas Village on City Hall's Dilworth Plaza look like a work of art. FOLLOW WILEY ON INSTAGRAM AT @HSWPHILLY.
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IMAGE: ANDREA CANTOR
South Street Headhouse District partnered with Congregation B'nai Abraham to celebrate the second night of Chanukah.
ANDREA CANTOR
I
t’s that time again when I walk through the city streets full of beautifully lit trees, wreaths hanging from shops and music playing on loop in public spaces. And I know, this is not for me. It’s the time when I avoid (B101.1-FM), which plays nothing but Christmas tunes, dodge the Christmas carollers and politely decline the chance to sit on Santa’s lap.
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I’m not a Grinch, I’m just Jewish This is for those celebrating Christmas, and I celebrate Chanukah. While younger me felt the pangs of alienation, returning store clerk’s “Merry Christmas� with a cheerfully passive-aggressive “Happy Chanukah,� it’s a reality that I have since become accustomed to every winter season. Now “Merry Christmas� is exchanged for “Happy Holidays,� Christmas trees are called
“holiday treesâ€? and are adorned with a tiny menorah or a “coexistâ€? ornament, and Christmas lights will, every now and again, ash a shoutout blue. But just like the shiny tinsel, it’s an illusion. Under the guise of the holidays, Judaism is just incorporated into Christian imagery as a form of tolerance, a Chanukah shelf in the corner of a mega department store stocked with Christmas wares.
But whether you want to call it a holiday tree or a Christmas tree, the symbolism of a decorated tree in December is not for me. Moreover, I don’t want it to be for me. This holiday season marks 80 years since Kristallnacht, a pogrom against Jews in Nazi Germany that fast-tracked the Holocaust. Despite all odds, Jewish traditions and symbols still exist, and I have no need or desire to accept other images with religious undertones as false signs of good faith. Others know this too — whether they like to admit it or not. On Nov. 26, Mayor Jim Kenney ofďŹ ciated the lighting of “The Presentâ€? at Christmas Village. Ending a crucial message of remembering less fortunate, he ďŹ nished to the sounds of laughter saying: “Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa. Whatever you celebrate, because I get in trouble for not saying it, [and just saying] Merry Christmas, I get in trouble for it all the time. All those holidays and Festivus, whatever it is you celebrate‌â€?’ Are we really going to do this, really? Either include the holidays in your seasonal greetings or don’t. But let’s not teeter the line of inclusivity only to debase it with “because I get in trouble for not saying it.â€? From Nov. 1 to Jan. 15, there are about 29 holidays observed by seven of the world’s main religions, according to Religious Tolerance. Sure, saying all of those holidays may be overkill, and a “Happy Holidaysâ€? should sufďŹ ce for brevity's sake. Even a “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidaysâ€? given that the “The Presentâ€? event was at the Christmas Village would have been better than Kenney’s clear condescension. But telling a crowd, and to be met with laughter, that you are being forced to acknowledge others is particularly disturbing. In the City of Brotherly Love, a place ďŹ lled with diversity, is there not a new tradition the city could come up with to represent the holiday season? Instead of circulating other religions around the majority religion through trees and ornaments, what a place it could be if Philly could have its own winter wonderland where every child knows the revelry and excitement of the holiday season is for them. I think we are creative enough, do you? Q TWITTER: @ANDREAJCANTOR
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IMAGE: YOUTUBE SCREENSHOT
Steves recalled many a night spent locked in a room for hours learning how to mix and engineer beats and have it all flow into her music. Now, with a major record deal and nationwide tour, it appears it’s all paid off.
Flow so lovely Major record deal. New album. Nationwide tour. Bri Steves isn't Philly's next emerging rapper. She's been on. BY KERITH GABRIEL
I
t’s not often one can vividly recall the deďŹ ning moment in which they saw the path their life would take. Rapper Bri Steves did. In a small South Philly recording studio, Steves, 23, then a junior at Temple University studying public relations saw what her future could become. It was in that moment in a room ďŹ lled with dedicated producers and engineers, Steves decided t
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pawn the viola she’d played since high school for studio equipment. Fast forward almost three years and it’s proved a smart decision. After signing a deal with Atlantic Records, Steves ďŹ nished recording her third album, currently on Urban Radio’s Top 15 and has embarked on her ďŹ rst nationwide headlining tour in promotion, wrapping later this month. One of the stops on her tour was in Philly late last month at Franklin Music Hall, a venue she recalled many a night watching her favorite artists on stage dreaming of one day being on it.
We caught up with the East Falls native in the aftermath of that Philly stop to talk her rapid rise, aspirations of it taking off from here all the while making sure she stays grounded.
now and then before a super big show. I remember how nervous I was and right before my ďŹ rst show on this [“Jealousyâ€?] tour. But for the most part, the nerves gone and think that came especially after the Kendrick performance. Since then everything has just felt kind of natural at this point.
You finally come to Philly on your first solo tour. Explain to us what that feeling – and atmosphere – Who would you say, or hope peowas like. ple would say your music sounds That show was amazing, there like? was really good energy from the crowd, the audience was super dope. It was a feeling that was different because I had fans that were familiar with my music and familiar with me personally so the energy was just different that the other city
I guess I would say J.Cole in terms of storytelling and Lauryn [Hill] in terms of the sound vocally.
You mention storytelling as an art in hip-hop. With all the other type of rap there is out there why is One of the hallmark moments keeping this original, purist form of your career as we know was so important? Well for one, I think you need getting pulled up on stage to perform with Kendrick Lamar. balance. There’s a place for the mumble rap, and in some cases it’s Nervous? And segue...how do you actually really fun to listen to. But handle nerves on stage now? I think music, good music, is about Oh, the [nerves] come back every
storytelling and that isn’t going to
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$+u go away. You need someone to occupy that land at the same time and provide a balance to the other sounds within the genre.
You juggled a career as full-time student and a professional artist prior to graduating from Temple. Can you even put into words the stress of something like that? That experience was tough. At the time I was juggling a lot of things at once but it was one of the best experiences, and one I really feel made me the artist I am today. That was where I started recording in my room and teaching myself how to engineer and mix, while I was going to school and going to classes during the day. I lost a lot of time and sleep but it was really the place where I discovered how I want to sound on the microphone. It was the starting point of where I got into this game professionally.
In the two years since Temple you’ve emerged as the next great female hip-hop artist to come out of Philly. Do you still get surprised? I deďŹ nitely saw myself getting to this point, but not as fast as I did. There’s still a very long way for me to go, but I didn’t expect to be doing a nationwide tour just one year later [after graduating], or doing a BET Cypher one year later, or coming on stage with one of my idols [in Kendrick Lamar] one year later. It’s been a dream.
Do you feel with success and popularity you’ll get thrusted into “mainstream� label? I don’t feel like success makes you more mainstream, I feel like if anything I’m getting more eyes. There are more people discovering my music rather than just people from Philly that I know. It’s expanding and now people in California and Nashville and Raleigh [North Carolina] and Atlanta are connecting with it. So I just see it as my reach getting bigger as I grow.
The state of the female hip-hop artist. Go. The lane has deďŹ nitely been open for female artists to emerge largely because of social media. I think [Cardi B.] is a good example of
IMAGE: YOUTUBE SCREENSHOT
At just 23, Bri Steves had steadfastly made herself the next big name in hip-hop, while ensuring it all remains authentically Philadelphia.
showing that there is a door for anybody to come through. I think right now everybody has the potential to win in this game. You don’t have to [portray] yourself as a particular type of woman or rap a certain type of way to get success, you can be whoever you want to be and that again is largely due to the strength of social media.
How happy are you with all the music you’ve put out to date? I’m really proud of how it call came out and I wouldn’t change anything. Before I put my old stuff out I was already on a lot of other [artist] records for a least a year. But now that I get to do it my way, I have the right partnerships and people behind me and really can take my time to make
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“The lane has definitely been open for female artists to emerge largely because of social media. I think [Cardi B.] is a good example of showing that there is a door for anybody to come through...You don’t have to [portray] yourself as a particular type of woman or rap a certain type of way to get success.� –PHILLY HIP-HOP AND R&B ARTIST BRI STEVES
sure it’s all perfect. So far, yeah I’m really happy with the result.
With all of that said, I have to ask the quintessential cliche question of where you see yourself in the next five years, especially consider just how rapid your ascension in the game has been? Well, I deďŹ nitely want to continue to grow and see my brand become a household name. I also see myself getting into acting, I see myself touring more. [Laughs], You know, because it’d be nice to say that after all of this hard work, you can pocket $100 million on tour. Q TWITTER: @SPRTSWTR
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Find more events at philadelphiaweekly.com/calendar Tell us about your upcoming events! Send press releases and information to: events@phillyweekly.com
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 6 SOCIAL
Kringle’s Kittens Adoption Event
Friggin’ kittens. Seriously, is there anything better on this chaotic ball of blue we call home? Puppies maybe. Or a baby seal, which also happens to be called a pup. Maybe a ďŹ lly (see what we did there?), or a quokka (look it up, you won’t be disappointed). Cuteness quotient aside though, Philly’s got a lot of kittens and not nearly enough loving homes. So head out to The Cat Doctor this Thursday for a feline-ďŹ lled evening that’s all about bringing the cute in out of the cold and, hopefully, directly to your lap. | 6pm. Free. The Cat Doctor. 535 N. 22nd St. acctphilly.org/kringles-kittens
SOCIAL
Terminally Chill Dance Party
the scene
What to do in & around the city
Independence Seaport Museum’s Parade of Lights
W
hew, boy. We’re only a week (or two, depending on when you read this) into December and already we’re starting to feel our holiday spirit agging. Not that it’s gone the way of Krampus or anything (which is to say, probably still necessary, but undeniably anachronistic – and really, who are we to say whether bad children should be stuffed into sacks and beaten with reeds by a mythological half-goat demon, let alone to what extent the holiday spirit can really, truly reside in the well-being of a human? It’s certainly not the bright beacon it once was in the starry-eyed days of the not-so-long ago. But we’ll persevere. And with that said‌ Gather the family. Call up your friends. Bundle up tight and head out to the Independence Seaport Museum for its annual Parade of Lights, where a succession of actual working boats decked out in holiday cheer will be sure to wow as they meander along the Delaware River. Heck, even Santa will be there. And really, what better time to seek out a renewed holiday spirit — or make a request to ol’ Saint Nick of an extra special present – maybe a new iPhone X or, just spitballing, damningly obvious evidence of something that starts with “câ€? and ends with “ollusion?â€? It doesn’t even need a bow. Q Independence Seaport Museum’s Parade of Lights | Dec. 8. 5:30pm. Prices vary. Independence Seaport Museum. 211 S. Columbus Blvd. phillyseaport.org/lights
– CAL SETAR | @CALSFRO '(&(0%(5
We here in the calendar section of PW take the naming of events very seriously. It makes sense, really – tasked with explaining events, ďŹ nding some interesting way to talk about them. As a general rule, the weirder the title, the better for our purposes. But on this one, we’re not really sure how we feel. Sure, the word play is tight. And it gives you a good idea of the expected tone of the evening. But it’s still a little ‌ iffy? Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go, just maybe while you’re there grab a promoter and not-so-gently suggest they come up with a different name. | 10pm. Prices vary. The Barbary. 951 Frankford Ave. philly.carpe-diem.terminally-chill
SOCIAL
QOTA Under the Trees
QOTA is a monthly happy hour on East Passyunk Ave, geared towards the LGBTQ community and their allies. QOTA Under the Trees is, well, QOTA under the trees. Only these trees are inside the facilities at Urban Jungle, a one-stop depot for all your home and gardening needs. Together, this is one LGBTQ-friendly, green and glitter resplendent, snacks and drinks til’ the bumper falls off kind of holiday hootenanny. Just remember to dress warm – you’ll be inside, but the doors will be open. | 6pm. Free. Urban Jungle. 1526 E. Passyunk Ave. philly.carpediem.qota
MUSIC
Polo & Pan
Chaotic dance beats that melt into soaring pop melodies, devolving once more into trance-like, trip hop nonstop beats. And beats. And beats. Just like your heart as it tries desperately to keep pace with the franticness of the music and the chaos around you, the bodies as they ing themselves to and fro, disappearing inside the music only to reap-
pear again, a little sweatier, a little sweeter, and little more alive than they’d been only a few moments before. That’s not necessarily Polo & Pan, but we dare you to ďŹ nd out. | 730pm. $20. Union Transfer. 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com/polo-pan
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 7 SOCIAL
35th District Christmas Movie with Santa
Does Santa like movies? He probably does, right? It makes sense, after all. He gifts them to kids as presents (we know, we know – it rots their brains, but kids learn in all kinds of ways and the visual medium is certainly one of them). He’s appeared in a number of them over the years, in a variety of forms. Plus, he’s got the body for some hardcore chillin’. So yeah. We’re gonna go out on a limb and say that the Man in Red loves him some movies. So if you wanna catch him in a good enough mood that you can ask for the full “Fast & Furious� box set, now may be the time. | 6pm. Free. Sturgis Recreation. 220 W. 56th Ave. philly.carpediem.events/35th
MUSIC
Rhythm of the Night
Calling all speaker freaks and nasty beats. It’s 90s house night at the Dolphin Tavern so crack a glow stick or three and gnash your teeth on the tastiest binky you can ďŹ nd. Featuring Wassup Gina, Shearn and Dave Tidey, this is an evening for vibes that go way, way, way up and don’t ever come down (you might, but that all depends on what fuels your fun – no judgment). It’s cheap and it’s bound to be loud, sweaty and fun. Do yourself a favor and dance out some of the worldwide crazies. | 10pm. $5. The Dolphin Tavern. 1539 S. Broad St. dolphinphilly. com/rhythm-night
MUSIC
Mumford & Sons
People tend to have strong feelings about Mumford & Sons, falling most often into one of two camps. On one side, you have those who love the band, their strippeddown sound, their meteoric rise and the way they suddenly seemed to come out of nowhere to be everywhere. On the other? The haters. And not haters in the sense of, “being negative for no reason,� but simply in the sense of, “this band sucks.� A fair bit of it is probably a product of their massive success and ubiquitousness. But it may also be because every song they write sounds exactly the same. Go check it out for yourself. | 730pm. Prices vary. Wells Fargo Center. 3601 S. Broad St. ev15.evenue.net/
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SOCIAL
Fishtown Freeze
No, this isn’t a strike on all Fishtown-related businesses – though, as far as events go, that’d be a pretty interesting one. How long before the angry emails start rolling in from pissed-off store owners? And who the hell would be planning that, and for what reason? Sorry, we got a little sidetracked there. Turns out, this is actually pretty much the opposite of what’s described above. 25-plus custom ice sculptures, lots of holiday shopping deals, a cocktail crawl and, of course, a tree lighting. It’s in our contract that we can’t go more than ďŹ ve events without mentioning a lighting of some sort. | 9am. Free. Fishtown Co. 121 N. Columbus Blvd. facebook.com/events/
SOCIAL
Frankford Hall-idays SOCIAL
South Philly Handmade Brigade
This event kind of sounds like an army of crochet enthusiasts is going to descend on South Philly for a day of training, maybe a show of force, a little demonstration of just how adept they are with a needle. And it is sorta that, only a lot less ‌ dangerous? It’s really just a gathering of shopping proportions, art, jewelry, clothes, glasswork and more, all made by local artisans. So go out and support. Those needles are huge though, so maybe take care. | 11am. Free. 1241 Carpenter. 1241 Carpenter St. facebook.com/SouthPhillyHandmadeBrigade/
SOCIAL
Philly Pigeon Poetry Slam
We will ‌ not be stopped. We will ‌ rock til’ the mic drops, we will. We will ‌ own this slam and all the stans from here to Afghanistan. We will ‌ rhyme with ease and though we aim to please we won’t drop to our knees just to appease. We will. We will. We ‌ will. *bows super gracefully*. Thank you for listening to our poem entitled, “We Will: A Requiem for Poetry Slams and Philly As the Most Artistic Town in America.â€? Seriously though, Philly’s the shit and you should support every artist who makes it that way, no matter their medium. | 830pm. $15. PhilaMOCA. 531 N. 12th St. thephillypigeon.com
SOCIAL
Bar Stella Happy Hour
Stellaaaaaaaaaa. Stellaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Who gets that reference? Come on, man. Classic ďŹ lm is so underappreci – oh. Everyone gets that reference. Well then. We’ll just shut up and go stand over here by ourselves while you hit the bar at Pizzeria Stella for another one of its First Friday Happy Hours. Make the trek and you’ll enjoy discounted drinks and food, plus a chance to enter to win a tour of the Kensington-based distillery, and four complimentary cocktails. *Extreme Narrator Voice*: “This message has been Brandoapproved.â€? | 5pm. Free. Pizzeria Stella. 420 S. 2nd St. pizzeriastella.net/#happenings
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SATURDAY, DECEMBER 8
Technically, this event is also part of the event above, Fishtown Freeze (did we mention it’s not a freeze on all Fishtown-related business? OK, good.). But it’s interesting enough that we thought it deserved its very own super duper special mention. This is just the ďŹ rst day of three weekends worth of opportunities to meet Santa himself at Frankford Hall. Take pictures, eat big German pretzels, make sure you’re going to get the full “Fast & Furiousâ€? box set – do whatever you want. Just so long as it’s in the spirit of the holiday season. | 10am. Free. Frankford Hall. 1210 Frankford Ave. evensi.us/frankford
SOCIAL
Punk Rock Flea Market
“But, Calendar Section of PW,â€? we hear you all saying, “what is a punk rock ea market? Is it a ea market meant solely for punk rockers? Will they be checking how many patches have been sewn onto my sleeveless jean jacket? Or how many spikes are on the shoulders of my oversized leather coat? Or is it a ea market full of punk rock-related memorabilia? A place where punk rockers and rock rockers and no rockers can get together a peruse crafts and products that are all in someway related to the genre of punk rock music? What is it,â€? we hear you cry. “What is it!?â€? Turns out it’s the second one. | 11am. Free. Cherry Street Pier. 121 N. Columbus Blvd. delawareriverwaterfront.com/ punkrock
sion, like he just tasted something sour and he can’t quite decide whether he’d actually been eating something or it’s just the avor of his own half-dead (literally) brain. We know you know, Jon. We know you did it. Come clean, you bastard! Get em’ girls! For Ygritte! | 6pm. Prices vary. Evil Genius. 1727 N. Front St. evil-genius-beer-company.ticketleap.com
MOVIE
Lars von Trier Retrospective
This is actually the third and ďŹ nal night for this event so if you were dragging your feet about taking part, now’s your last chance to get in on all the von Trier retrospectiveness. Lars is, of course, set to release his latest ďŹ lm, “The House That Jack Built,â€? on Dec. 14. And, as tends to be the case, it’s surely a grippingly artistic and beautifully painful masterpiece. So why not enjoy/torture yourself with a few of his past pieces prior to delving into his latest and greatest creation? This night’s offering is “Melancholia,â€? von Trier’s study on human pain, sadness and the collision of worlds. | 7pm. Prices vary. Philadelphia Film Society. 1412 Chestnut St. filmadelphia.org/ melancholia
SOCIAL
Second Street Sessions: Holiday Crawl
It’s the 2nd Street Sessions, part of the 2nd Street Festival, back again. And this time ‌. it’s personal. Just kidding. Or are we? No, we are. Or – nope, nope. Just kidding. Honestly, it could be personal for some people, either vendors who are participating or the people who are helping to plan the whole thing. But for the rest of you, it’s just a good time at a variety of locations with some sweet deals all along 2nd. | Noon. Free. 2nd Street Festival. N. 2nd St. 2ndstfestival.org/
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 9 SOCIAL
‘Game of Thrones’ Murder Mystery
This one takes, “You know nothing, Jon Snow,� to a whole new level. Of course, for all we know, Jon Snow knows a lot more than he’s letting on. In fact, he’s looking mighty suspicious over there in his all back get up and his unnecessarily brooding expres-
SOCIAL
Princess Brunch
The only brunch speciďŹ cally for families with young girls. Huh. Why do we feel so weird writing out that sentence? It’s not like we’re saying anything bad, this literally is an event tailored to families with young kids, and those young kids are speciďŹ cally meant to be girls. Maybe it’s because boys could be into Princess Brunch, too? That might be it. But, boy or girl, if you’ve got a Princess who’s ready to be pampered like the pretty little sunower he/she is, then head on over to Mad Rex for a brunch of epically beautiful proportions. | 11am. $5. Mad Rex. 1000 Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com/e/princess-brunch
MOVIE
Tokyo Godfathers
Anime occupies kind of a weird space in American culture. Which is to say, a lot of people love it, revere it even, and a lot of people see it as some kind of childish, stupid, possibly disgusting diversion created in a far off land by far out weirdos. Of course, the latter person probably loves Ugg boots and country-rap, but that’s neither here nor there.
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power to injure and impinge, to keep those smaller of stature from reaching the highest of heights? Heights they, left to their own devices, would so easily reach and likely even exceed? Why is it that we’re always left asking why? Enough is enough, and it’s up to all of us – every single one – to ensure the kind of change that needs to happen actually comes to pass. | 630pm. Free. Uncle Bobbie’s Coffee & Books. 5445 Germantown Ave. unclebobbies.com/
LEARN
Antisemitism in America: is Hate Speech Free Speech?
No. There. Solved that one for you, the rest of America and the world, and even the orange goblin currently residing in the White House (or spending a few extra weeks in Argentina, ya know, just because the weather is like, so nice and stuff, not because he’s terriďŹ ed of the ever-widening investigation, nope, not at all). But seriously, this is a tricky issue and worthwhile conversation to have. Because the truth is, as much as we may feel the obviousness of right and wrong, things in a human world are never quite so simple. | 6pm. Prices vary. National Museum of American Jewish History. 101 S. Independence Mall. nmajh.org/
MUSIC
Underoath
It’s been a while since we’ve heard new music from the Oath-meisters, so it’s certainly good to see the creative juices continue to ow. The band had been touring exhaustively for over a decade when they ďŹ nally decided to bid the world farewell in 2013. But the boys are back bay-bay! Just kidding. But they are. Just ‌ ignore that last bit. Anyway, they’re touring now in support of their latest album, “Erase Me,â€? a project they began work on in 2017, and it sure sounds like they’ve been reinvigorated by the hiatus. | 645pm. $35. Franklin Music Hall. 421 N. 7th St. ticketmaster.com/underoath Either way, it’s high time anime received its artistic dues, and if you’re interested in ďŹ nding out more about the beauty and heart this medium has to offer, this Christmas fable from ďŹ lmmaker Satoshi Kon might be the best place to start. | 730pm. $10. PhilaMOCA. 531 N. 12th St. ticketfly.com/
MONDAY, DECEMBER 10 SOCIAL
A Holiday Musical featuring Jekalyn Carr It’s always awesome when an event you assume is going to cost a particularly pretty penny turns out to be ab-so-freakin-lutely free. And such is the case with “A Holiday Musical featuring Jekalyn Carr,� along with a whole host of other voices from the Philadelphia gospel community. So if you’re feeling particularly free on Monday night (see what we did there?), head on over to the recently reimagined MET Philly for a glorious evening of song and holiday cheer. | 7pm. Free. The MET Philly. 858 N. Broad St. hghphilly.org/
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SOCIAL
Holiday Movie Trivia to Benefit the PSPCA
If you’ve ever read any of our other misguided musings here in the Calendar Section of Philly Weekly, you know we’re all about helping the less fortunate. And while that, of course, means the human and the homeless, those struggling just to survive on the streets of our fair city aren’t limited to the two-legged among us. So if you’ve got a soft spot for soft fur and cold noses, head on over to Punch Line Philly for an evening of trivia aimed at supporting the Pennsylvania Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. | 7pm. $7. Punch Line Philly. 33 E. Laurel St. concerts1. livenation.com
LEARN
Enough Is Enough: Women’s Wellness Group
Enough is enough. Seriously. Why the hell do we keep having to cover the same fetid ground? Why the hell do the bigger and stronger among us so often choose to use that
LEARN
“The Cabinetmaker’s Account� Book Launch
Listen. Not everything can be a cat-themed dance party or a heavy metal hoedown. Sometimes you gotta get learnt. And in this instance, you’re gonna learn about craft and commerce in colonial Philadelphia, and you’re gonna like it! If you want to, of course. Presented in partnership with the Library Company of Philadelphia and the Athenaeum of Philadelphia, this is your chance to spend an evening with historian Jay Robert Stiefel as he presents his new book, “The Cabinetmaker’s Account: John Head’s Record of Craft & Commerce in Colonial Philadelphia, 1718–1753.� Dry stuff to be sure, but do you know who keeps us from (hopefully) repeating mistakes of the past? Historians. | 530pm. Free. Benjamin Franklin Hall. 427 Chestnut St. amphilsoc.org/
of Pearl Jam or Dave Matthews Band. Of course there was plenty of crossover, but it’s kind of like Pat’s or Geno’s – everyone has their preferred option and, ultimately, both options are wrong because the actual right answers are Soundgarden and Tony Luke’s. | 8pm. Prices vary. Wells Fargo Center. 3601 S. Broad St. ev15.evenue.net/
SOCIAL
Friends: The One with all the Drag Queens
We gotta say. Here at PW, we’re big fans of drag queens. Really, is there any other group of people on Earth more themselves, more willing to bravely endure whatever judgment could potentially be levied their way, more honest about the world and their place in it, than drag queens? The answer is no. And if they’re going to act out some of the best scenes and characters from one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, then you better fuckin’ believe we’ll be front and center. You should be too. | 7pm. $17. L’etage. 624 S. 6th St. eventbrite.com/friends-drag-queens
MUSIC
Every Time I Die
You know a show is gonna be good when it comes as part of a tour titled, “20 Years of Bullshit.� Which, if you’ve ever read about touring bands or watched a documentary or, heck, been part of a touring band yourself, makes a whole heap of sense. And considering just how wild Every Time I Die live shows tend to be, you can imagine just how much sweat, tears and, yeah, even blood has gone into building the faithful following they’ve managed in their two decades of existence. It can’t last forever, kids, so go see these scintillating sickos while there’s still time. | 6pm. Prices vary. Union Transfer. 1026 Spring Garden St. event.etix.com/
MUSIC
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 11 MUSIC
Dave Matthews Band
Growing up in the Philadelphia area, as all members of the Philly Weekly Calendar Section must – because how else are going to get the particular nuances of things like cheesesteaks and the word jawn just right? – it always seemed like you were either a fan
Lil Skies
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PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM
DECEMBER 6 - 13, 2018 17
‌ pop. We’re sorry. It was there and then it was on the page and by the laws of Writing with a capital “W,â€? we simply cannot remove it from this section. Which we hope you’ll only hold against us, and not this wonderful Philly holiday tradition. Because these performers work very hard and we wouldn’t want our terrible (and entirely unavoidable) wordplay to deter you from enjoying an evening alongside them at The Kimmel Center. | 8pm. Prices vary. The Kimmel Center. 300 S. Broad St. phillypops.org/2018-19
MUSIC
The Front Bottoms & Manchester Orchestra MUSIC
Weezer
Beverly Hills ‌ that’s exactly where I don’t want to be! (leave me, leave me). Hatin’ on Beverly Hills. We get that that’s exactly what Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo is saying, in his own singular tongue-in-cheek way. But honestly, California gets enough love. And Beverly Hills honestly seems kind of awful. Weezer isn’t though. The Blue Album? By gawd, that was some gloriousness. Maybe if you shout loud enough at the concert, you can get Rivers to tell you what “Hash Pipeâ€? is about. | 8pm. Prices vary. The MET Philly. 858 N. Broad St. concerts1.livenation.com/
off. But we feel it’s important to stick to our convictions. And what those convictions tell us is that the whole “Lil-whatever� is fucking stupid and “mumble rapper with tattoos all over their face� is even dumber. We kindly await your letters. | 8pm. $39.50. The Fillmore. 29 E. Allen St. concerts1.livenation.com/
LEARN
History after Hours: Enough to Feed an Army Gingerbread – it’s not just for making structurally unsound mini-houses or luring children in out of the woods so they can be cooked and eaten in a sumptuous stew anymore! OK, maybe that’s all it’s really good for nowadays, maybe as a avoring in your coffee or some such. But in the way back when, it was a necessary food source that Christopher Ludwick used in December of 1776 to help fuel the American side of the Revolutionary War. So drink. Eat. Be merry and give thanks that our ancestors knew how to whip up a mean batch of Let’s Lick Those Queen-Lovin’ Lobsters Gingerbread. | 5pm. $10. The Fillmore. 29 E. Allen St. amrevmuseum.org/gingerbread
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 12 EAT
DiBruno Bros. Beer & Cheese Holiday Party We’re real excited about this one. A part-
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nership of delicious food and beer pairings between DiBruno Bros. and Troegs Brewery!? Count us the fuck in. Cheesemongers from DiBruno and brewmasters from Troegs will taste their way through a bevy of pairings that are bound to delight every single sense, then they’ll be presented for you and us and everyone else smart enough to buy a ticket to this one-ofa-kind event for consumption. Eat, drink and don’t forget to take home your swag bag. | 8pm. Prices vary. DiBruno Bros. 1730 Chestnut St. dibrunobros.ticketleap.com/
SOCIAL
Holiday Lights Ride Are there any bike enthusiasts among us? We’re sure there are, we just want to make sure before we go ahead and get a ďŹ rm commitment on including this event. One, two ‌ OK, OK. We’ve got a few. Let’s do this thing! Bikes wrapped in lights. Warm outďŹ ts. The holiday spirit (assuming yours hasn’t gone the way of the dodo just yet). Meet at Performance Bicycle and take a leisurely seven-mile ride through at – emphasis on at – Philly neighborhoods. Then retire to Tattooed Mom for some well-earned drinks. | 6pm. Free. Performance Bicycle. 1300 S. Columbus Blvd. bicyclecoalition.nonprofitsoapbox.com/
SOCIAL
A Philly POPS Christmas Featuring Broadway legend Todd Ellison and Hamilton: An American Musical’s Mandy Gonzalez, this 300-performer event is sure to
It might be pandering, but The Front Bottoms and Manchester Orchestra have a new song out called “Allentown,� and we think that’s pretty cool. Sure, Billy Joel already did it. And did it about as well as anyone could. But the Front Manchester (or would it be Bottoms Orchestra? We’ve gotta be honest, we much prefer Bottoms Orchestra for all the, ahem, images it conjures) version is pretty dang good too. Let’s hope that someday we get an acoustic version by Ed Holmes. | 730pm. Prices vary. The Fillmore. 29 E. Allen St. concerts1.livenation.com/
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 13 SOCIAL
11th Annual Holiday Lights Run
If you run for fun, why the hell not run for charity? Seriously, you jerk. You’ve been wasting all that time getting your stupid body into shape for nothing. When, instead, you could have been running for a cause, pumping your stupid legs so that somebody less fortunate can have a holiday that’s a bit brighter than it otherwise would have been. Well, now’s your chance to atone. Join the South Philly Striders and the Fishtown Beer Runners for their 11th annual Holiday Lights Run. And make sure to donate to Philabundance or bring some stupid cans of stupid non-perishables, along with your stupid ass. | 7pm. Free. Columbus Square. 1200 Wharton St. secure.philabundance.org/
MOVIE
Free Screening of Victoria Season 3 Premiere
PBS Masterpiece series Victoria is back and better than ever for a third season of intrigue and big, poofy dresses. Seriously though, Victoria really isn’t your mother’s monarch, and not just because your mother surely wasn’t born before 1875 and thus had never lived during Queen Victoria’s reign. She was a woman of substance, not
particularly attractive but determined to project an air of beneďŹ cence. Plus, she’s quoted as saying, “The important thing is not what they think of me, but what I think of them,â€? which is pretty ballsy. | 7pm. Free. WHYY. 150 N. 6th St. eventbrite.com/ not-your-mothers-monarch
MUSIC
Eve 6 Holy. Shit. This takes us back. We honestly had no idea Eve 6 was still a thing. We might have even forgotten that Eve 6 was a thing. But they were and apparently they still are, surely rocking audiences with shows that you just know end with “Inside Out.� In fact, excuse us while we take a break to go listen to that song on repeat for the next week or three. We’ll swallow our doubt and head out to the show to thank these guys for providing a perfect soundtrack for our late 90s/early 2000s angst. We think you should do the same. Even if it’s just this one rendezvous, then you’re through with them. | 8pm. $25. The Fillmore. 29 E. Allen St. concerts1.livenation.com/
SOCIAL
The Aunt Mary Pat LIVE! Holiday Experience We’re not really sure if this technically falls under the label of drag show, though it’s certainly of a similar kind. And since we’ve already made our feelings on drag shows (absolutely, 100 percent pro), we won’t go deep into that part of it. But we will say that everyone has an Aunt Mary Pat and if you think you don’t, you’re just not paying close enough attention. This hilarious show will leave you howling, both from laughter and also the pain of knowing what awaits you during the holidays. | 7pm. Prices vary. Tabu Lounge. 254 S. 12th St. eventbrite.com/aunt-mary-pat
SOCIAL
bar amis vs. Kensington Quarters Cage Match Two chefs enter ... two chefs leave. And honestly, they’ll probably both still feel pretty good about themselves. Sure, do the notoriously competitive chefs probably feel like there’s something at stake? Yeah. But we’re willing to bet that when bar amis Culinary Director Brad Spence goes headto-head with Zahav alum and current Kensington Quarters executive chef Matt Harper in a 4-course culinary battle, it’ll be intense and delicious. But we also bet this marketing stunt will go a long way toward making the “loser� of this battle feel a whole heck of a lot like a winner. | 7pm. $60. bar amis. 4503 S. Broad St. cagematch.splashthat.com/
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SAVAGE LOVE
Cringe and Purge DAN SAVAGE
I
’m a 59-year-old man in good health. For basically my whole adult life, I’ve had this problem during intercourse with a woman of (1) being very quick to come and (2) having a too intense “cringeyâ€? sensation when I come. This has led to often going soft at the prospect of intercourse. This too-intense feeling makes me stop moving when I come, which is not satisfying at all. It doesn’t happen with hand jobs or oral sex – they feel ďŹ ne and good. Is this a known phenomenon? And, most importantly, what can I do to get to a point where I can enjoy intercourse? This seriously messes with my enjoyment of sex and my conďŹ dence with women. One time, and only one time (out of many with a particular girlfriend), I had intercourse and it felt ďŹ ne when I came, still thrusting, so I know it’s possible. I have been practicing with a Fleshlight, but it’s still painfully “cringeyâ€? when I come. It is not fun and rather depressing. – He Always Really Dreads Penetration And Regrets This I shared your letter with Dr. Ashley Winter, a urologist in private practice in Portland, Oregon, and the cohost of The Full Release, a sex, health, and relationship podcast. Dr. Winter wanted to note that her comments are a general discussion of a medical topic and NOT individual medical advice. She wanted me to emphasize this point – which she also emphasizes at the top of her terriďŹ c podcast – because Dr. Winter is a responsible doctor and not a card-carrying member of the Amalgamated Advice Columnists of America. (Membership in the AACA entitles advice columnists to say pretty much whatever they want.) “There are three issues at play here,â€? said Dr. Winter. “First, the pain or ‘cringey’ sensation only associated with vaginal and Fleshlight penetration. Second, being too quick to come. And third, erectile dysfunc-
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tion. HARDPART insightfully suggests his ED may be related to his performance anxiety as well as anticipated pain, and I would agree with this. I would add that his quick ejaculation is most likely also caused by a mix of ED and pain – the body adapts to pain and erection loss by letting the swimmers off the hook early.â€? But why do you experience this pain only during penetrative sex? What is it about PIV (penis in vagina) or PIF (penis in Fleshlight) that causes those painfully cringey feelings? “If he thrusts more during these activities than he does during oral or hand stimulation, I would expect that either pelvic oor muscle dysfunction or a nerve issue related to the lower spine could be causing the airs,â€? said Dr. Winter. “If he were my patient, I would want to know if he has less pain when his partner is on top, which would mean his pelvis is moving less. Also, does he have chronic low back pain? Bowel or bladder issues?â€? Dr. Winter and I continued to generally discuss the medical topics raised by your question, HARDPART, and we generally discussed – this is not, again, individual medical advice, but a general discussion – two things someone with your particular issue might want to think about doing. First, a guy with your problem could try taking Viagra – or a related drug – while also using a penis numbing spray. And a guy with your problem should also have his pelvic oor checked out. A urologist can help a guy with a problem like yours determine if there’s something wrong with the complex web of muscles and nerves that crowd together around your junk and, if it is a pelvic oor issue, refer him to a pelvic oor physical therapist. Finally, a suggestion from me, the person with the AACA card: A guy with a problem like yours – a guy whose dick works a certain way and has worked that way for decades – could save himself the hassle of physical therapy and the side effects of Viagra by accepting his dick and the way his dick works. There are women out there who prefer oral and outercourse to PIV, HARDPART, and you could bed those women with conďŹ dence. Q
THERE’S MORE SAVAGE LOVE! Read more at PHILLYWEEKLY.COM Ask a question: MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET
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To place your line ad call:
215-355-1234
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REAL ESTATE
REAL ESTATE
THE LATEST IN SALES & RENTALS IN PHILADELPHIA
For more information contact: 215.563.7400 | philadelphiaweekly.com
FEATURED OPEN HOUSES Open Houses for Saturday 12/8 & Sunday 12/9 Kathy, Patrick and the Conway Team Berkshire Hathaway Home Services, Fox & Roach Realtors | 215.440.8190
Saturday, 12/8 12:00-2:00 201 Queen St #1 QV, $1,200,000 1:30-2:30 636 Addison St Society Hill, $815,000 323 Wilder St Pennsport, $329,900 3:00-4:00 905 S 2nd St QV, $1,250,000
201 Queen St #1 QV, $1,200,000 12:00-2:00 830 S Front St QV, $699,000 12:00-2:30 241 S 6th St #2002-03, Society Hill, $999,900
For more information contact:
215.563.7400 ext. 3045 WHAT TO DO | WHERE TO GO | WHERE TO LIVE | WHAT’S UP NEXT WHAT TO DO | WHERE TO GO | WHERE TO LIVE | WHAT’S UP NEXT WHAT TO DO | WHERE TO GO | WHERE TO LIVE | WHAT’S UP NEXT
1:30-2:30
830 S Front St QV, $699,000
717 S Columbus Blvd #1403 QV, $365,000
Sunday, 12/9
905 S 2nd St QV, $1,250,000
12:00-1:00
Where to Live
306 Queen St QV, $640,000
604 Winton St Lower Moyamensing $374,900
636 Addison St Society Hill, $815,000
3:00-4:00
1346 S Front St Pennsport, $379,000
905 S 2nd St QV, $1,250,000
Elfant Wissahickon REALTORS 2000 Pine Street | Philadelphia, PA 19103 | 215-893-9920
Saturday: 11 - 1: 2026 Saint Albans Street $750,000 Sunday 11 - 1: 2017 S. Colorado Street $199,000 Sunday 12 - 2: 3126 Dickinson Street $259,000 '(&(0%(5
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CHECK OUT THESE 3 GREAT PROPERTIES OPEN HOUSE SATURDAY AND SUNDAY
PLEASE CHECK OUR WEBSITE FOR MORE INFORMATION
636 ADDISON ST SOCIETY HILL - $815,000 TERRIFIC SOCIETY HILL HOME WITH A DEEDED PARKING SPACE. 2828 SQUARE FEET - 18’ WIDE BY 61’ FEET DEEP - LARGE ROOMS - HIGH CEILINGS - INCREDIBLE STORAGE AND CLOSET SPACE - MOST HARDWOOD FLOORS THROUGHOUT - 4 BEDROOMS - 4.5 BATHS - FIREPLACE IN THE LIVING ROOM - SEPARATE DINING ROOM - GREAT EAT IN KITCHEN - JULIET BALCONY AND A LOVELY GARDEN. ON A WONDERFUL COBBLESTONE TREE LINED BLOCK. GREAT NEIGHBORS - GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD. OPEN SATURDAY 12/8 FROM 1:30 TO 2:30 AND SUNDAY 12/9 FROM 12:00 TO 1:00
830 S FRONT ST QUEEN VILLAGE - $699,000 A TERRIFIC LARGE 4 STORY HOME. 3 BEDROOMS + A GREAT FINISHED BASEMENT (FAMILY/DEN ROOM), 2.5 BATHS, FIREPLACE, HARDWOOD FLOORS, NICE OUTDOOR SPACE AND MEREDITH CATCHMENT. ALL THIS + A LOVELY PARK ACROSS THE STREET AND AMPLE PARKING RIGHT OUT FRONT. MEREDITH SCHOOL CATCHMENT. A GREAT BUY. OPEN SATURDAY 12/8 FROM 3:00 TO 4:00 AND SUNDAY 12/9 FROM 12:00 TO 2:00
241 S 6TH ST #2002-2003 SOCIETY HILL - $999,900 INDEPENDENCE PLACE! THIS STUNNING EXTRA WIDE 1788 SQ FT UNIT WAS CREATED BY COMBINING 2 UNITS INTO THIS PRISTINE LOVELY TWO BEDROOM + DEN, 2 BATH WITH 2 SIZE-ABLE BALCONIES FACING NORTH + A FABULOUS WEST CENTER CITY, WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK VIEW + AN EAST GLIMPSE OF THE RIVER. IT ALSO FEATURES BEAUTIFUL HARDWOOD FLOORS THROUGHOUT, FLOOR TO CEILING WINDOWS, LOTS OF CHARACTER, DETAILS AND A HANDSOME WALL OF CUSTOM-BUILT BOOKSHELVES IN THE BOTH LIVING ROOM AND DEN/OFFICE ROOM. THERE IS ALSO A SEPARATE LAUNDRY ROOM AND A BUTLER’S PANTRY + 2 EXTRA STORAGE LOCKERS FOR THIS UNIT IN THE BUILDING. PARKING AVAILABLE. OPEN SUNDAY 12/9 FROM 12:00 TO 2:30
What They Are Saying: “Kathy and Pat went above and beyond in selling our condo which is their nature and their staff provides exceptional service and oversight. As we relocated out-of-state, Kathy & Pat took care of every detail to ready our condo for market including painting, carpeting and supervising/coordinating the entire process through closing--even sending us some wayward mail! They are dedicated, professional and truly care about their clients.� Laurie Frischman
Patrick Conway
215-266-1537 215-850-3842 A]QWSbg 6WZZ =TÂż QS Â’ 215.627.6005 Â’ Please visit us online at www.conwayteam.com
OPEN SATURDAY 11 - 1 2026 Saint Albans Street Fabulous, newer townhome with 3 BR, 2.5 BA, 1-car parking, and a spectacular roof deck. First floor features an open concept living room, a dining room, and a kitchen with maple cabinets, granite countertops, glass tile backsplash, and KitchenAid Pro series appliances. Built just 6 years ago, it has 4 years remaining on the tax abatement.
$750,000 NEW LISTING Bella Vista Charming 3 bedrooms brick home on a beautiful block. Enter into the spacious open concept living and dining area, with decorative fireplace, original wood floors and a full wall of exposed brick. The spacious kitchen with custom white cabinetry, butcher block counter tops, stainless steel appliances and tiled backsplash. This home offers a bright sunroom, a nice patio and a roof deck with stunning views.
$400,000 NEW LISTING & OPEN SUNDAY 11 - 1 2017 S. Colorado Street As you step inside the ceramic tiled foyer you feel the warmth of a sunny living room/dining room combo with exposed pointed brick wall, pretty Southern pine wood floors, a spacious eat-in kitchen with bisque corian counter tops, and maple stained shaker wood cabinets. The kitchen leads out to a nice sized backyard and walled patio area.
$199,000
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Kathy Conway
UNDER CONTRACT CENTER CITY 2 BR + den, 2.5 BA bi-level penthouse condo in a boutique, historic Market East building. 20 foot ceilings, high-end finishes, and a jaw- dropping roof deck with truly spectacular views. Exposed brick walls, towering windows with auto shades, exposed beams. Stunning open kitchen with 36� Wolf range, SubZero refrigerator, Bosch dishwasher, Viking Beverage Center and Wine Fridge.
$929,000 OPEN SUNDAY 12 - 2 3126 Dickinson Street This fully renovated home features an open floor plan with light hardwood floors, recessed lighting, and a beautiful eat-in kitchen with stainless steel appliances and quartz counters. This home offers a finished basement and security cameras. 3 Bedrooms & 2.5 Baths
$259,000 NEW LISTING KINGSESSING Newly renovated home from top to bottom with lots of detail and charm. The first floor features a spacious living room with light hardwood floors, a powder room, and a nice kitchen with dark cabinetry and stainless steel appliances. The second floor offers 3 nicely sized bedrooms with beautiful hardwood floors. This home offers an enclosed porch in the front and a deck in the rear.
$139,000
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