Philly Weekly 12-16-2015

12.17.15-12.23.15

DO NYE ‘16

ALTON BROWN LIVE EAT YOUR SCIENCE

APRIL 22 Tickets on sale at Visit ticketmaster.com or call 1-800-745-3000.

Shows subject to change or cancellation. Must be 21 or older to gamble, enter and remain in a New Jersey casino or participate in any Caesars Entertainment promotion. Know When To Stop Before You Start.® Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. ©2015, Caesars License Company, LLC.

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12/11/15 8:18 AM

IN THIS ISSUE:

10 NYe gUiDe Where to ring in 2016

14 FeaTUre A John Waters Christmas

16 issUes The One Love Foundation

18 sTage The Skivvies: Naughty or Nice

20 sTraPless Bra December outfit guide

22 mUsiC India.Arie celebrates the season

23 Timaree’s BoDY Sex worker rights

24 saVage loVe Flight of fantasy 25 ClassiFieD 27 real esTaTe

CONNECT WITH US! Facebook: Philly Weekly Twitter: @phillyweekly instagram: @phillyweekly

Jay sterin General manager Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 163 jay@phillyweekly.com

Jacqueline rupp Editor-in-chief jacqueline@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyjackie

anastasia Barbalios Managing editor anastasia@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyweekly

PHILLY WEEKLY 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400.

Classified: 215.354.3054

RPM PHILLY, LLC Publisher Perry Corsetti Philly Weekly is published Wednesday by RPM Philly, LLC, 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400. Distributed in Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery & Chester counties in Pennsylvania and selected other locations in southern New Jersey. Philly Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into a newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the management. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising. Contents copyright © 2015 by Philly Weekly. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

Philly Now

WhaT To Do iN & aroUND The CiTY • MORE AT PHILLYWEEKLY.COM Tell us about your upcoming events! Email info to managing editor Anastasia Barbalios at: events@phillyweekly.com

m UsiC

rock on Philly

a Very Philly Christmas Concert

T

he season of gift-wrapping, caroling and feasting is here, but this year Philly will be hit with a rock ‘n’ roll twist.

Rock on Philly, the city’s music blog dedicated to supporting local musicians and keeping the pulse of the city’s music scene, will host their very first benefit concert “A Very Philly Christmas,” featuring more than 20 local performers, including Andorra, Laura Cheadle, Deep City Healers, Chris Gennett, Nicky P, Rivers Monroe, Tara Hendricks, Sansom and more. The goal of the event is to unite music lovers from across the city to party and raise a glass to the key players that make Philly music so special. The festivities continue with giveaways, guest ap-

4 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

pearances and the time-honored tradition of the holiday ugly sweater contest. So dig out that creepy old sweater from Aunt Bea and head to this celebration of our local talent. Proceeds from the event benefit Musicopia, a non-profit dedicated to restoring music programs in schools and bringing music education and performance opportunities to underserved students in our area. —Nerisha PeNrose

Wed., Dec. 23, 7:30pm. $3-$5. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. 215.222.1400. rockonphilly.com

phillyweekly.com | December 17 - 23, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 5

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer the Musical

WedNeSday, deceMBer 16

Friday, deceMBer 18

STaGe

STaGe

Keeping Up With the #Botox

Queer parody of our biggest pop culture celebrities such as Kim Kardashian brought to you by The Dumpsta Players. Bringing the trashy nature of performing with drag queens, live mic and lip-synched sketches, a night full of laughter and sarcasm. 10pm. Free. 1509 South St. dumpstaplayers.org

GaMeS

Weeding Out The Stoned

Sixteen comedians enter but one of them is stoned. It’s up to the audience to figure out which one is sober in order to win bragging rights and prizes. 9pm. $5.

PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St. philamoca.org

rudolph the red-Nosed reindeer the Musical

The beloved TV classic hits the stage, featuring all the beloved characters from the special including Santa, Hermey the Elf, the Abominable Snow Monster, Clarice, Yukon Cornelius and, of course, Rudolph. Through Dec. 20.

$30-$70. Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. 215.893.1999. kimmelcenter.org eVeNT

THUrSday, deceMBer 17 ParT y

Mergearts

MergeArts hosts a night of fashion, music and art, all under one roof at their monthly party at Coda. Tonight’s show features Corey Wade, Shirley Posey, Soraia, Kuan Young, Sherry Michelle and Rebekah Marina. Hosted by PW’s own Charles Wiedenmann. 7:30pm. Coda Nightclub, 1712 Walnut St. mergearts.org

eVeNT

Homeless Memorial day

With winter quickly approaching, join this gathering to remember the homeless and formerly homeless Philadelphians who died in 2015. The event seeks to call an end to homelessness and discrimination against those affected by homelessness.

5pm. Thomas Paine Plaza, JFK Blvd. & 15th St. projecthome.org/memorial ScreeN

Movie Night at the distillery

Celebrate almost one year of excellent craft distilling in Philadelphia with the Mel Brooks classic Blazing Saddles. Top Hat Espresso Catering will be on site to keep patrons sufficiently caffeinated. The entry fee includes one free cocktail and a bag of popcorn. 8pm-11pm. $10. 1431 N. Cadwallader St.

newlibertydistillery.com 6 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

drag after Hours

Hard Rock presents Drag After Hours with Mimi Imfurst from RuPaul’s Drag Race. Enjoy performances and snap some selfies with some local, lovely and talented drag divas. 10pm-12am.

Free. Hard Rock Cafe, 1113-31 Market St. hardrock.com/cafes/philadelphia HOLiday

Friday Night Lights

Enjoy the gorgeous lights of the model trains and more—including sweets from Bredenbeck’s Bakery and a special appearance from the Sugar Plum Fairy from George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker. $3-$16. Morris Arboretum,

100 E. Northwestern Ave. 215.247.5777. morrisarboretum.org eVeNT

Ugly Sweater run

Wear your most hideous sweater to the least fashionable 5k of the year. After

the run, indulge in hot chocolate or a Sam Adam’s winter lager. 8am. $40.

Fairmount Park, 4231 Avenue of the Republic. theuglysweaterrun.com ParT y

art after 5: Feliz Navidad

Celebrate the holidays with a live mariachi band, drinks and dancing.

Featuring performances by Pedro Villaseñor and Ballet Folklórico Yaretzi and co-presented by the Mexican Consulate in Philadelphia and the Mexican Cultural Center. 5-8:45pm. Free after

admission. Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Ben Franklin Pkwy. philamuseum. org/artafter5 MUSic

Philadelphia Orchestra: Glorious Sound of christmas Bramwell Tovey returns to conduct three nights of rousing traditional tunes dotted with his own meticulous arrangements and interpretations.

7pm. $35-$120. Verizon Hall, Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. 215.893.1999. kimmelcenter.org HOLiday

Made in Philadelphia Holiday Market at dilworth Park

The inaugural outdoor shopping fest features local artists, crafters and designers selling unique gifts and holiday foods. Through Dec. 27. Dilworth

Park, 15th and Market sts.

$1,515

BONUS SLOT DOLLARS

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EVERY 15 MINUTES THURSDAY, DECEMBER 31 NOON–7PM

phillyweekly.com | December 17 - 23, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 7

PHILLY NOW SaturdaY, december 19 Part Y

cancer is ugly

A night of friends, drinks and judgment to decide who has the ugliest sweater in Philadelphia. Winner of the competition receives a oneyear employee discount at City Tap House and your $50 donation benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. 7-10pm. $50. City Tap

House, 2 Logan Square. citytaphouselogan.com SHOW

barbershop Quartet: a magic Show

A spectacular night of magic just in time for the holiday season.

Philadelphia’s own “Magician for the Mind” Francis Menotti performs with four internationally renowned magicians. 8pm. $20. Society Hill

Playhouse, 507 S. Eighth St. societyhillplayhouse.org drINK

mayhem & mistletoe

Celebrate the holidays with pictures with Santa and kisses under the mistletoe. Dress to impress and enter the Sexiest Santa and Ugliest Sweater contests. 9pm. Free. Xfinity Live, 1100 Pattison Ave.

267.443.6415. xfinitylive.com/entertainment cOmedY

comedy underdogs

Philly’s Phunniest Person finalist Patrick Graves hosts an evening of hilarious comedy, featuring Jess Carpenter, Yoob Da Funnyman, Rick Juliani and Drew Castellano. 7pm. $10. L’Etage, 624 S. 6th St.

215.592.0656. creperie-beaumonde.com drINK

belgian beer experience

Sample and learn about some of the most famous and not-so-famous beer styles of Belgium, home to some of the most diverse and popular beers in the world. 4-6pm. $50. Wine School of Philadelphia, 109 S.

22nd St. vinology.com muSIc

through Oceans of time: black Pearl chamber Orchestra

Jeri Lynne Johnson leads one of the country’s most diverse ensembles in a riveting, innovative performance that combines classical and contemporary music. 6-9pm. $24-$30. The Barnes Foundation, 2025

Ben Franklin Pkwy. 215.278.7200. blackpearlco.org muSIc

We run the Streets Indie music awards

G.G. Galaxy Management hosts the hip-hop award celebration featuring Lihtz Kamraz, AR-AB and Leen Bean. Hosted by Kameko and Miss Day. 6:30pm. $20. Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside.

215.572.7650. keswicktheatre.com/events SHOPPING

mt. airy art Garage Holiday market

Peek-A-Boo Revue

SuNdaY, december 20 PerFOrmaNce

Peek-a-boo revue

The “Slay Belles” of the Peek-A-Boo Revue are back to rock the holidays with good tidings and naughty sightings. Put the bump in your holiday grind as the ladies peel their stockings while the band is a-rocking. Kick the carols to the curb and shred with the Peek-A-Boo Revue.

7:30pm. $25. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive.com muSIc

tuba christmas

Here comes the boom— delivered via 100 tuba, sousaphone and euphonium players, all as enthused about the holidays as you are. 11am. Free. Commonwealth Plaza, Kimmel Center, 300 S.

Artists fill the 5,000-square-foot gallery in Northwest Philly with hand-crafted items made by woodworkers, sculptors, painters, leather crafters, jewelers, fiber artists and more. Noon-6pm. Free. 11 W. Mt. Airy

Broad St. 215.893.1999. kimmelcenter.org

Ave. 215.242.5074. mtairyartgarage.org

Free at the Kimmel: christmas Posada

HOLIdaY

macy’s christmas Village and Light Show

A beloved Philadelphia tradition for 20 years, the 6,000-square-foot walk-through experience features 26 heartwarming scenes from Scrooge. Don’t miss the Christmas Light Show, lighting up the store every two hours. Through Dec. 31. Macy’s Center City, 1300 Market St.

215.241.9000. visitmacysusa.com 8 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

muSIc

The sweet spirit of Christmas in Mexico saturates the Kimmel’s corridors, with pianist Juan Pablo Horcasitas leading the charge. 5pm. Free. Commonwealth Plaza, Kimmel Center, 300 S.

Broad St. 215.893.1999. kimmelcenter.org HOLIdaY

christmas Village

Come see—and buy—gifts by some of our area’s most industrious crafters. Through Dec. 27:

LOVE Park, 1500 Arch St. philachristmas.com

Monday, deceMber 21 STaGe

The Philadelphia Moth StorySLaM

Slam poetry-lovers unite for a night of storytelling and playful competition as each poet is picked out of a hat to perform a five-minute story and be judged by the audience. This week’s theme is joy: Share an experience that brought you utter delight, or a time you were able to provide it for somebody else. 7:30pm. $8-$16. World Cafe Live,

3025 Walnut St. 215.222.1400. worldcafelive.com HoLIday

Franklin Square Holiday Festival & electrical Spectacle

Hop aboard the Lightning Bolt Express for a special holiday train ride or shop in the Holiday Market for gifts for everyone on your list. Through Dec. 31. Franklin Square,

Sixth and Race sts. 215.629.4026. historicphiladelphia.org

TUeSday, deceMber 22 STaGe

First Person arts StorySlam

Enjoy well-told stories as participants share five minutes of their life with a room full of people they don’t know. The storytelling competition offers cash prizes and a chance for winners to compete in the season finale Grand Slam. This week’s theme: Home for the Holidays. 8:30pm. $8-$10. L’Etage, Sixth and Bainbridge streets.

firstpersonarts.org oUTdoorS

rothman Skating rink

Got mittens? Already had cocoa? Then it’s time to glide to City Hall for some ice skating. The rink will be open throughout the holiday season, offering classes for skating novices. Through Feb. 28. Dilworth Park, 15th and Market sts. ccdparks.org/dilworth-

park/rothmanicerink

WedneSday, deceMber 23 National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Screen

byo: Tis the Season—national Lampoon’s christmas Vacation Bring a bottle of bubbly and enjoy the holiday classic featuring Clark Griswold and his family’s holiday antics. 7:30pm. $10-$12. PFS Roxy Theater, 2023 Sansom St.

filmadelphia.org HoLIday

reading Terminal Market Holiday railroad

Featuring a 500-square-foot holiday railroad with 14 working train lines and miniature scenery of Center City and the countryside. Through Dec. 31. Reading Terminal, 51

N. 12th St. readingterminalmarket.org phillyweekly.com | December 17 - 23, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 9

do nYe where to

ring in 2016

N

YC might have the over-sized disco ball going for them, but Philly can hold its own come New Year’s. If you’re in the mood to party, you can do so safely knowing Ryan Seacrest will be nowhere near this town. And if you still haven’t firmed up your plans, read on, because that countdown clock is about to start ticking.

Culture Center, 3870 Lancaster Ave.

stratus nYe. Welcome the new year in style at the rooftop bar’s midwinter night’s dream party featuring DJ Royale. 9pm. $50-$100. Stratus Rooftop Lounge, 433 Chestnut St. stratuslounge.com

In Case You’re In the Mood to PartY

nYe at r2L. Three- and four-course dinners, party fa-

nYe at XFInItY Live! Head to the Sports Complex for one of the biggest NYE events of the year; there will be access to all of XFINITY Live’s venues, an all-inclusive premium bar package, food buffet and champagne toast at midnight. 9pm. $85 and up. XFINITY Live! 1100

7:30-9:30pm, celebration seating. $75-$200. R2L, 50 S. 16th St., 37th Floor. R2lrestaurant.com

Pattison Ave. nyephilly.com

Go-Go nYe: a Funk & Classic disco dance Party.

Bring in a funky new year at the Trestle Inn with DJs Kai F and Walt Luke and go-go dancing from the scantily clad Trestle Specials. The party features a champagne toast at midnight. 8pm. $30-$55. The Trestle Inn,

11th and Callowhill sts. 267.239.0290. thetrestleinn.com

“our Year” 2016 nYe Gala. WE-Culture, RECphilly and Veteran Freshman team up to throw a New Year’s Eve gala with all the fixings. Dinner, live music and open bar included. 9pm. $35-$60. Indigo Bleu Design & 10 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

vors, as well as live music & dancing, all with an amazing view of the city and fireworks. 5-7pm early seating;

Coda nYe 2016. For the night owls out there, Coda hosts an NYE celebration going all the way until three in morning, featuring multiple DJs, a midnight champagne toast and 5-hour open bar. 9pm. $39. Coda Philly, 1712 Walnut St. codaphilly.com

spectre nYe 2016. Roll into 2016 at Lucky Strike with a 4-hour open bar, private bowling and champagne toast. Watch the ball drop on 11 huge LED screens. 8pm. $30-$40. Lucky Strike, 1336 Chestnut St.

bowlluckystrike.com

new Year’s eve at the Piazza. The Piazza in NoLibs rolls out its annual NYE celebration with a live performance by the Dirty Heads. The heated 20,000-square-

foot tent encompasses the interior of the complex and allows guests to mingle between all five of the bars onsite. 9pm. $99. Piazza, 1001 N. Second St. nyephilly.com

12 Midnight. Start the year in luxury at the Crystal Tea Room, where hand-carved columns and intricate crystal chandeliers will surround you while you sip champagne into the wee hours of the night. In addition to the five-hour open bar, general admission includes plenty of food, multiple party areas, live music by 39 Marnier, body painters, hoop dancers and more.

8pm. $119-$229. Crystal Tea Room, 100 East Penn Sq. 215.627.5100. nyephilly.com

Philadelphia all access nYe Party Pass. Perfect for the bar-hopper; the All Access NYE Party Pass enables you to bounce around between 10 of Center City’s hottest parties, including Recess, Finn McCools, 1925 Lounge, Mad River and Field House. The party pass is all-inclusive at each bar (including a marathon 5-hour free-for-all open bar). Revelers kick off the party at 9pm at 16th and Market streets. 9pm. $99. Various locations. nyephilly.com

nYe at Brü Craft & Wurst. Schnitzel, tinsel and more, Brü celebrates NYE with a five-hour premium bar, authentic German fare and champagne toast. $79-

$119. Bru Craft & Wurst, 1316 Chestnut St. nyephilly.com

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phillyweekly.com | December 17 - 23, 2015 | Philly 12/3/15 Weekly10:43 | 11 AM

nYe gUiDe Yakitori Boy Ultimate Countdown. Attention, karaoke enthusiasts: Yakitori Boy is here to humor you this New Year’s Eve and to agree that yes, that song is just so good. Karaoke to sing (and hear!) will be center stage, accompanied by food, booze and DJs. 9pm. Vari-

ous prices. Yakitori Boy, 211 N. 11th St. 215.923.8088. yakitoriboy.com

Ring, StRUm, Sing in the new YeaR new Year’s Funkin eve: Red 40 & the Last groovement. FringeArts never fails to bring the party with their annual concert, featuring the local funk rockers. 11pm. $15-29. FringeArts, 140 N. Columbus Blvd.

215.413.1318. fringearts.com

nYe with the Philadelphia Orchestra. Yannick Nézet-Séguin conducts the Philadelphia Orchestra as they ring in the new year. 7:30pm. $60-$135. Kimmel

Ring in 2016 at Yakitori Boy

Center. 300 S. Broad St. 215.670.2300. kimmelcenter.org

ardmore music hall. Dance into 2016 with local

beloved holiday tradition. 12pm. $85. Academy of Music,

Start making Sense nYe takeover. Seven-piece

22-piece Brazilian/Samba band PhillyBloco. The band models itself after the blocos of Rio de Janiero, and will perform a unique mash-up of samba, funk and reggae.

ComedySportz. Philadelphia’s fave improv comedi-

Talking Heads tribute band headlines with Lovetester, Selectronics and DJ Kaos. With special guest Great Lakes Beers. 8pm. $25-$50. World Cafe Live. 3025 Wal-

nut St. 215.222.1400. philly.worldcafelive.com

8pm. $30-$35. Ardmore Music Hall, 23 E. Lancaster Ave. ardmoremusic.com

nO BaBYSitteR, nO PROBLem Family new Year’s eve. Watch the fireworks from inside the museum with this family-friendly party equipped with noise makers, party hats and a sparkling cider toast at midnight. 5-7pm. Free for members.

Independence Seaport Museum, 211 S. Columbus Blvd.

215.413.8616. phillyseaport.org

300 S. Broad St. 885.460.2743. paballet.org

ans celebrate the New Year with laughter, party favors, pizza and a sparkling cider toast. The night’s two shows (7:30pm and 10:30pm) are BYO and feature rarely played games and an appearance by Baby New Year. $30-$35.

Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St. comedysportzphilly.com

Dan naturman. What better way to ring in 2016 than with champagne, food and good laughs. 8pm. Helium Comedy Club. 2031 Sansom Street. 215.496.9001. philadelphia.heliumcomedy.com

Sugarhouse new Year’s eve Fireworks on the waterfront. SugarHouse casino will light up the waterfront with two shows and live telecasts from the Lit Brothers building, Commerce Square and the cube at the Kimmel Center. 6pm-12:15am. Free. Delaware

Waterfront. 121 N. Columbus Blvd. 215.922.2386. delawareriverwaterfront.com

new Year’s Splash. Spend the New Year with your

favorite creatures at the Adventure Aquarium. 10am6:30pm. Adventure Aquarium, 1 Riverside Drive. Camden, N.J. 856.365.3300. adventureaquarium.com

Jazmine Sullivan. Local songbird Jazmine Sullivan (above) comes home for a special NYE performance.

9pm. $42.50. The TLA, 334 South St. tlaphilly.com

a Pop muzik new Years eve. DJ Robert Drake spins your favorite ‘80s and New Wave tunes while you enjoy a three-hour open bar (including Tecate and well drinks) and a champagne toast at midnight. 9pm. $20.

Dolphin Tavern, 1539 S. Broad St. 215.278.7950. thedolphinphilly.com

Blue Cross RiverRink winterfest. Blue Cross RiverRink will host two separate three-hour parties on NYE. The first begins at 5pm and will include skating and light refreshments with a great view of the fireworks.

The second runs from 10pm-1am and caters to the adults. $30-$40. Blue Cross RiverRink, 101 S. Columbus

take in an nYe ShOw

26th Street & Benjamin Franklin Parkway 215.763.8100. philamuseum.org

1100 Chestnut St. 215.925.6455. milkboyphilly.com

classic 1983 movie, capture holiday wonder with funny and heartfelt songs from the Broadway classic.

Dark Star Orchestra. These rockers have mastered

8pm. $20-$95. Walnut Street Theatre, 825 Walnut St. 215.574.3550. walnutstreettheatre.org

Electric Factory, 421 N. 7th St. electricfactory.info 12 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

nOt YOUR aveRage new YeaR’S PaRtY Just Breathe: Yoga white Party. Bring your yoga mat for a relaxing evening of meditation, yoga and other fun activities. 5:30pm. Philadelphia Museum of Art,

a Christmas Story: the musical. Based on the

the art of the tribute band; watch as they recreate a Grateful Dead concert in every detail. 9pm. $49.50.

A reimagining of the Biblical story of Joseph, his 11 brothers and the coat of many colors (above). 2pm. $55$95. Merrium Theater, 250 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org

Blvd. delawareriverwaterfront.com

nYe at milkBoy. Red Alert gets the night rocking

along with MilkBoy’s $6 drink specials. 8pm. MilkBoy,

Joseph and the amazing technicolor Dreamcoat.

george Balanchine’s the nutcracker. Celebrate 2016 a little early, as PA Ballet performs the area’s most

nYe ghost tour. Who says you can’t get spooky after Halloween? Ring in the New Year with a ghost tour of a haunted Society Hill mansion. Get the best of both worlds by exploring the house, then take part in a more traditional NYE party. A portion of the proceeds benefits PhilaLandmarks. 7pm. $22. Powel House 244 S. 3rd St.

ghosttour.com n

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phillyweekly.com | December 17 - 23, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 13

‘My whole life is a trigger warning’ John Waters on the burdens of Christmas, respectability, and the good kind of terrorism.

Y

ou would think shocking John Waters would be impossible. The veteran filmmaker has been inspiring audiences to squirm in their seats since 1969’s Mondo Trasho. Conventional wisdom would dictate that the man who held the “Filthiest People Alive” competition in “Pink Flamingos” and who showcased an encyclopedic representation of sexual fetishes in A Dirty Shame would be, in fact, immune to surprise at the depravity of the human soul. And yet, something has happened to Waters that even he can’t understand: He’s become respectable.

“I’m an insider now. That’s what’s really ridiculous!” Waters revels in his newfound reputability with a combination of pride and utter disbelief. How could this have possibly happened? People bring their grandchildren to his movies now, for crying out loud. Rhode Island School of Design asked him to give a commencement speech earlier this year, the video of which went viral to such a degree that Waters got a book deal out of it. Such heights can be dizzying for a man who famously equated someone vomiting at his films with a standing ovation.

If Waters hasn’t changed—and he’s adamant that he hasn’t—then the transition must have happened to the rest of us. We’ve all finally caught up with the man Roger Ebert referred to as “a poet of bad taste.”

Waters’ poetry and his taste are on full display in A John Waters Christmas, Holier & Dirtier, a oneman show about our culture’s strange relationship with the Yuletide holiday.

“It’s really a self-help lecture about how to survive Christmas if you have an abusive family, if you’re going through a bad love affair, if you don’t know what to wear, if you don’t know what to give, how to react when people give you bad presents,” Waters says. Christmas is a holiday of extremes, and it’s in extremes where Waters feels most comfortable. “Christmas is a financial burden, it’s an emotional burden. And whether you like it or hate it, it’s coming at you. It’s like a steamroller you cannot stop.”

While Waters’ show may skewer Christmas’s current cultural confluence of consumerism and consumption, he bears the holiday no ill will. His barbs come from a place of love. “I had a very healthy and supportive family growing up and I loved Christmas for real. But I do look back on it and think of the odd things. My mother used to always give me a carton of Kools for Christmas when I was a teenager in my stocking. The Christmas tree fell over on my grandmother once.

Somebody stole the baby Jesus from the church where we were and I remember wishing I was with the people that did it.”

For Waters, it’s the heightened emotional nature of the holiday that breeds these off-kilter stories. But these strange moments don’t just stick in our minds. As Waters sees it, they pull us together. There is a universality in the specific sort of madness Christmas brings. “Everybody has weird stories of what they remember at Christmas,” Waters says. “Even if you hate Christmas.”

Though Waters is known for his films, he’s certainly no stranger to performing on stage. In fact, Waters has been doing performances of this type for 45 years. “It started out in the really early days, when my films Mondo Trasho and Multiple Maniacs would play on college campuses,” Waters says. “They had a much stronger business on college campuses because now college campuses play Star Wars, but it used to be that was the only way you could see art films.”

Waters was not yet the cult figure he would become, and he was

14 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

Illustration by Glen Hanson.

Cover photograph by Greg Gorman.

“

My Mother used to always give Me a carton of Kools for christMas when i was a teenager in My stocKing. the christMas tree fell over on My grandMother once. soMebody stole the baby Jesus froM the church where we were and i reMeMber wishing i was with the people that did it.”

far from someone you’d invite to do a commencement address. He also had no money for advertising, so to promote the film, Waters and Divine would do a kind of vaudeville act to get people talking.

“Divine and I used to cut school and go to the Gayety Burlesque. It was at the end of vaudeville, where you would see baggy-pants comedians telling dirty jokes for strippers. So we would come out, and I would, like, praise Olga’s House of Shame and The Undertaker and His Pals, all these kind of exploitation films that no one talked about seriously. And then Divine would come out and throw dead fish into the audience. Then we’d have a fake cop come on stage and arrest us. And then the movie would start. So that’s how it began.

“And that was probably better than my Christmas show.”

It’s hard to blame Waters for feeling nostalgic for the days when all it took to startle audiences was a well-pitched haddock. The so-called “shock cinema” of today barely receives a tired dismissal from the man.

“It’s so old hat to try to be shocking now. You have to push the envelope in a smart way. My whole life is a trigger warning. But at the same time, I think I am politically correct in a weird, odd way.”

“I’m for the humor of terrorism,” Waters says. Waters has a fondness for the political theater of ACT-UP and the Yippies in their heyday. And not without cause; drowning out the New York Stock Exchange with foghorns and running a pig for president may indeed be a welcome change for this country. “We need it again, humor as terrorism. The T-word you can’t say anymore, but if it’s language and if it’s humor where you embarrass the enemy, that’s terrorism, too.

The good kind.”

This, according to Waters, is what a lot of people miss when they try to jolt people out of their comfort zone.

Sure, you may have made them leap out of their chair, but did you give any thought at all to where they’re standing now? “If you’re going to use humor that is transgressive or makes people nervous, it also has to make people laugh. It has to change something.”

Waters’ longevity owes as much to his friendly demeanor as it does his commitment to comedy with a purpose. Waters has been dubbed “The People’s Pervert,” and it’s easy to see how his friendly demeanor has remained part of his continued charm.

“No matter what I do, no one gets mad anymore. Because I don’t think I’m mean. I always really love what I make fun about. You have to make fun of yourself first, which I certainly do, always by calling my films trash.

“I’m trying to get you to come into my world where you might feel uncomfortable but you’ll feel safe if you’re with me as your guide.”

Well, not entirely safe. Before the interview ended, Waters admitted to being disappointed filming his cameo in the latest Alvin & The Chipmunks movie. As the titular chipmunks are CGI, Waters ended up acting with little than more tennis balls. That meant he never got to get his hands on an early crush of his: Alvin the Chipmunk.

“I had such a thing for him,” Waters says.

His delightfully wistful sigh at this missed opportunity is why he continues to be the People’s Pervert. n

A John Waters Christmas, Holier & Dirtier: Tues., Dec. 22, 8pm. $47.50$125. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. 215.232.2100. utphilly.com phillyweekly.com | December 17 - 23, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 15

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Katie O’Neill, one of the One Love leaders at Moore, among her artwork.

(Photo by Michele Cohen)

One Love

Empowering a New Generation

T

he One Love Foundation was started in 2010 in memory of Yeardley Love, a University of Virginia student who was abused and ultimately murdered by her boyfriend. One Love works directly with young people to end partner violence and increase respectful, healthy relationships.

Moore College of Art and Design founded a One Love Chapter after Assistant Dean of Students Emily Johnson first learned about the program. She chose three students to lead Team One Love at Moore: Victoria Dallas from Residence Life, Delia Ascher from Student Government and Katie O’Neill from the Student Engagement Committee.

“We teach young women the warning signs of an abusive relationship so that if they or any of their friends are in one, they will be able to take action before it gets worse,” Dallas said. “It’s also a great resource for students to report abusive relationships so that they can get help and guidance on how to deal with their situation.”

Along with workshops and film screenings on partner violence and recognizing the warning signs, One Love members are creating a paper tree bulletin that will

16 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

hang on campus in 2016. Moore students will be able to write a supportive message or their name on a heart to show that they are there to support their fellow students.

Each heart will be added to the tree, and by spring it will be full of inspirational messages in hopes of making people feel cared for by the community.

Relationship violence, according to Dallas, is often overlooked but is all too common among millenials. Couples between the ages of 16 to 24 are three times more likely to experience abuse, and one in three women, along with one in four men, will experience relationship violence in their lifetime. According to Dallas, while there is still a stigma attached to being abused, this generation is trying to be less judgmental and more supportive by listening to one another and building community networks. In the past, identity markers were often used against victims to make them feel guilt or shame.

This generation, Dallas explained, wants to eradicate prejudice based on these labels and promote equality regardless of gender, sexual orientation, age, habits or personality.

O’Neill, a junior arts major at Moore, shared her experience in an abusive re-

lationship. She started dating her ex-boyfriend, Ryan, in high school. It was great at first—watching movies, going out to eat, and hanging out like best friends do. But as many high school relationships tend to go, the impending knowledge of going off to college and the fear of separation led to tension, paranoia, and eventual control and abuse. She explained, “I was getting ready to go off to art school in Philadelphia, while Ryan was staying to commute to Stockton. That impending knowledge of change ended up being the catalyst for the change in the relationship.” She said he soon became extremely controlling and pressuring, especially when it came to sex, reaching a point where she couldn’t even sit on the same couch without him trying to touch her. She says she felt a disconnect with something as intimate as sex because that intimacy had been overpowered by emotional abuse. Sometimes, she said, giving in felt easier than being constantly pressured and afterward dealing with the feelings of guilt and shame.

When asked about any prior warning signs that the relationship had gone astray, or that she had seen in other relationships, O’Neill said controlling behavior, constant distrust, pressure for sex

one particular comment latched onto my conscience. “I’m a big believer in following my instincts. When things don’t feel right, they probably aren’t.” I was startled at first and questioned whether instincts should always overpower rational decision making. She said that instincts are the only thing we can trust because we have been socially conditioned to think the way we do. I nodded my head in agreement. It scared me, though, because for the first time I was acknowledging out loud that this was in fact a real phenomenon. Everything we see, hear, taste and take in from situations around us all play into this notion.

Our media may play the biggest role of all. We are constantly engulfed by depictions of emotional and physical abuse and sexism. Movies like Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey, and of course the beloved Disney classics scream messages of abuse and portray weak female roles, yet we ignore them, perpetuating a culture of “It’s okays” once again. Even the gaming world has for many years used the popular trope of “saving and bashing” women simultaneously, as seen in games like Grand Theft Auto. Have we not yet gone overboard?

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and checking cell phones were the big red flags. There’s often a slim line between someone “seeming to care” and control and abuse. O’Neill said we live in a society that is so used to “I’m sorrys” and “it’s okays” that we often lose sight of what’s not okay. And with that, we tend to lose sight of when to let go of something or someone who is bad for us (either emotionally or physically). Our emotional stability and self-worth is constantly on the line with our abusers, and that should never be.

I talked to O’Neill for over an hour but

Unfortunately, women being abused, beaten, tortured, portrayed as weak and needing a man to save her sells.

As O’Neill and I would agree, along with other empathetic thinkers out there, it’s not that simple. This apathy has become an ideology. Ideologies are created and enforced, but most importantly can be changed. We as a society need to change this ideology of apathy toward sexism and partner abuse. The One Love chapter at Moore College has taken steps to achieve this goal. It’s time we all joined them. n

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he Skivvies, also known as Lauren Molina and Nick Cearley, grace the stage at the Kimmel this weekend, bringing their underwear-clad holiday song-and-dance show “Naughty or Nice” to Philly. We caught up with the clothing-less duo for some advice and info on—you guessed it—underwear.

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Lauren: I love receiving underwear. It’s something everyone always needs and uses. So, I’m in favor of gifting skivvies.

I say splurge on nice underwear if it’s a gift.

Nick: Absolutely. It’s a great gift to give or receive and everyone needs ‘em.

What’s your advice for choosing undies, for guys and gals?

Lauren: What style depends on the person. What is flattering and comfortable is always something to keep in mind. But my advice is to get something that feels fun and sexy.

Nick: Make sure you’re comfortable and whatever they are, make sure they make you feel good.

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What’s the most unattractive underwear in your opinion?

Lauren: Old saggy tighty whities. Anything that should’ve been thrown out but you keep it around in case of emergencies.

Nick: Old underwear. The ones you have

to wear on laundry day. Throw them out.

How do you keep from getting cold performing sans clothes?

Lauren: When you are singing, playing instruments, dancing around under the lights, your body naturally heats up.

Nick: We move around so much, it’s never been an issue. But it’s something I always thought about nervously when we first started.

Do you guys feel overdressed when not in your stage wear?

Lauren: Nope. I like wearing clothes too.

Nick: I enjoy fashion and trends so clothes are essential for that. So no. I like being over and underdressed. gimme one piece of advice for looking better in undies?

Lauren: Be confident in whatever you wear. All bodies are beautiful, you just have to own it and rock it. Shed any ugly insecurity and you’ll look better in undies.

Nick: “Skivvies” is a state of mind. It isn’t about the underwear. So wear what you wear with love and pride and don’t apologize for it. n

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December Outfit Guide

D

ecember is a tornado of parties, carbs, drinking and shopping, with no Minions in sight to do your bidding. If you’re anything like me, on top of all of that you have a job, loved ones and cats that need your attention.

Excuse me while I go hyperventilate.

So consider me your “glam squad” for the month of December and follow these tips on how to dress for various holiday functions, from parties to your next day hangover.

Holiday SHopping

Most stores and malls haven’t received the memo that it is unnaturally hot out.

If you don’t want to sweat your face off, I suggest not wearing a coat whilst shopping. I know, I know, but I’m going to be so cold walking to and from the car! Dress in layers, and bring a big purse to throw said layers in. Chances are you will leave the mall in jeans and a T-shirt.

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EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 18 20 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

waking up the morning after a night of holiday drinking with a nail in your head, realizing, “dear God, I have to adult today.” The name of the game is comfort. Wear leggings and pair with a long slouchy shirt or cape (capes are so hot right now, capes). Slide on a pair of overthe-knee boots. Add a loud statement necklace. Throw your hair in a messy bun and put a pop of color on your lips.

People will think you look completely put together, when in reality you are super comfy and trying not to vomit at your desk.

Ugly CHriStmaS SWeater party

Work Holiday party

Sigh… you have three options. One: stick it to the Man and opt to not wear an ugly Christmas sweater to the party (yes, you’ll be fine, it’s allowed). Two: one of the best things I’ve ever seen at an ugly Christmas sweater party was a guy who printed out a picture of Kim Kardashian’s cry face and stuck it on his sweatshirt. You will become a god at that party. Do that. Three (and my fave): politely decline the invitation, because ugly Christmas sweater parties should only happen in college. Instead, buy yourself a nice bottle of wine, order some Chinese and kick your heels up for the evening. n

Holiday party Hangover

Kate Concannon is the Editor-In-Chief of Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra. She’s a self described red nail polish enthusiast, social media whore, closeted art geek and worshipper of her black wardrobe.

This is going to be different for everyone, I know. So instead I’m going to tell you what not to wear. Do not wear anything low cut. Booze plus low cut top equals a good chance for a nip slip to occur.

(That’s not embarrassing at all.) Do not wear heels higher than three inches; this will prevent you from drunkenly face planting. And finally, do not wear anything that looks like a disco ball vomited all over you.

The worst feeling in the world may be

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22 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

iss “I Am Not My Hair” took a four-year hiatus from her music in 2009, resurfaced back onto the music scene in 2013 after releasing her studio album Songversation, and is back this year to take her latest holiday album, Christmas with Friends, on tour. The soulful songstress, known for her fist-raising, body-hugging lyrics on confidence, empowerment and strength, joins her R&B counterparts by sprinkling her soft, soulful voice onto everyone’s favorite holiday classics, along with some original tracks.

The project is a collaboration between Arie and legendary pianist Joe Sample, whose smooth jazz paino stylings complement Arie’s vocals on four of the album’s 10 tracks, including the mood-setting opener “Let It Snow.” Sample passed away before Christmas With Friends was completed, but set the tone for an album that is packed with unique stylings and unexpected pairings.

Christmas with Friends was originally supposed to be Arie’s usual collection of

neo-soul tunes but she decided to take a different approach. The four-time Grammy award winner gathered some friends to lend supporting vocals on a few of the holiday classics. Breakout artist and now Grammy nominated singer Tori Kelly joins Arie in a duet on “Favorite Time of Year,” a song co-written by Arie’s mother. R&B queen Brandy hops onto “Silent Night” to add her spicy range to Arie’s earthy, warm tones. KEM duets with her on a romantic rendition of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” Other notable collabs include Michael McDonald and Trombone Shorty.

The album is filled with nostalgic numbers that will warm listeners’ ears and hearts. This week’s performance at the Keswick will feature special guest performer Jonathan McReynolds n

Thurs., Dec. 17, 8pm. $35-$60. Keswick Theater, 291 N Keswick Ave, Glenside. keswicktheatre.com

TIMAREE’S BODY

by Timaree Schmit @timaree_leigh

Sex Workers’ Rights

C

hild labor, marrying your first cousin, cocaine, domestic violence, killing bald eagles: these are all things that used to be legal in the United States but aren’t anymore. Buying alcohol, women wearing pants, interracial marriage, doing business on Sunday: these are all things that used to be illegal due to moral objections but are now accepted.

Because we can change our minds.

It is illegal to sell sex in the vast majority of America. As comedian George Carlin pointed out, “Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn’t selling fucking legal? Why should it be illegal to sell something that’s perfectly legal to give away?”

Make no mistake: we will absolutely let people sell their bodies and souls. It’s acceptable to engage in back-breaking, foot-aching, carpal tunnel syndrome-inducing labor to the point of debilitation for money.

There’s no moral quandary about going into roofing; no suggestion that someone is impure for manufacturing textiles, even if it destroys her hands. We also are fine with people selling their affection. The hostess at that restaurant doesn’t need to really like you, and that nurse isn’t committing to lifelong friendship. Yet when it comes to the matter of offering attention and physical labor in the form of sex, there’s a sudden ethical concern about using humans.

Ultimately, all laws are written to either encourage or discourage behavior.

We can learn a lot about a culture by their legislation: what they value, who has power and the things they consider threats to social order. Some say that laws are a codification of morality, but that’s an oversimplification. It’s more accurate to say that we make an action illegal if we think it is harmful to those who matter.

Or, more precisely, how we enforce those laws demonstrates who matters.

Another taboo is violence. We’re theoretically opposed to beating, raping and murdering. We have many laws against these behaviors. But enforcement tells us a lot about our priorities. The most vulnerable populations—those who are most likely to be victimized—often have a harder time reporting their assaults and we’re doing next to nothing to change that.

A sex worker faces a much bigger chance of being attacked than, say, a real estate agent or taxi driver, despite interacting with fewer strangers. The risk is greater for women of color and exponen-

tially higher for transwomen. Street-based workers face the most danger, as they are often targeted by random criminals, serial predators and sometimes even the police themselves. Assailants know that attacking these victims is easier and that enough of the citizenry will chalk it up to expected hazards of a sinful job. And this is part of why survivors rarely go to the authorities to report. They know they may face harassment, discrimination and potentially even more violence at the hands of those who are sworn to protect them. And there’s the additional concern of losing freedom for bringing attention to their illicit employment. Certainly not all police engage in this behavior, but it doesn’t take many to destroy faith in the institution.

Legalizing sex work would change this situation entirely: taking away the leverage of predators, making it far easier for victims to seek justice and preventing many of the assaults in the first place. It would also improve working conditions, decouple the industry from other criminal enterprises and make it easier to identify the underage or trafficked. This was the overwhelming finding of the United Nations when they released a report calling for worldwide decriminalization of sex work. The continued advocacy for its illegality is placing moral objections to selling sex above the health of those in the industry. It says we care more about being prude than keeping people safe.

Efforts to decriminalize sex work are often blocked by the Rescue Industry, well-intentioned activists who want to save young women from being trafficked.

But they refuse to believe sex work might be volitional: that some adults opt for the flexible hours and good pay of prostitution or stripping over an office job. By confounding consensual labor with slavery, they presume the workers have no agency and actually make it harder to find the ones who are there against their will.

December 17 is the 13th annual International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers, an occasion to raise consciousness about these issues, encourage decriminalization and commit to a cultural shift that gives basic human dignity to everyone, regardless of occupation.

Events are being held around the nation.

Learn more at www.december17.org. n

International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers: Thurs., Dec. 17, 3pm. LOVE Park, 15th and JFK Blvd. 267.970.1481

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phillyweekly.com | December 17 - 23, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 23

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage | Twitter: @FakeDanSavage

Flight of fantasy

REAL PEOPLE, REAL DESIRE, REAL FUN.

I

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’m a straight 26-year-old man who wants advice on helping my fiancée realize a particular fantasy. We have been dating for three years and are in a happy monogamous relationship. I was always vanilla, but she enjoys rougher sex and light bondage. We’ve incorporated some of this into our sex lives, and we are both happy with how fun it is. She has expressed interest in a rape fantasy. Both of us want to be safe when we do this, and we trust each other completely. But I cannot think of a way in which she can get the experience she desires while still maintaining a safe dynamic. I am wondering if you have advice on how I can help act out her fantasy in a way that we both have fun. —Seeking Erotic Advice Now You and the fiancée are obviously capable of communicating about varsity-level sex play, SEAN; your track record with bondage and rougher sex demonstrates that. Now you just have to use the same interpersonal skills that made your past kinky fuckfests possible—along with the same respect for limits, boundaries, and each other—to negotiate and realize your girlfriend’s edgy-but-thoroughlycommon fantasy.

I recommend reading “Rape Fantasy: How to Carry It Out Safely,” a long and thoughtful post at Slut Lessons (slutlessons.wordpress.com), an engaging sex blog that’s sadly no longer being updated. The first recommendation from Educated Slut, the site’s anonymous author: Maybe we shouldn’t call them “rape fantasies” at all.

“A rape fantasy is almost invariably more about forced sex and not a desire to actually BE raped by someone,” writes Educated Slut. “Very few people have the desire to be put through the physical and emotional trauma of a real rape. This is the primary reason I refer to this as ‘forced sex fantasy’ rather than rape fantasy; it just gives the wrong impression to some people.”

You might too be one of those people, SEAN. You seem to be under the impression that there’s something inherently more dangerous about realizing/role-playing your way through a forced-sex scenario. And it may be more dangerous and/or triggering on

24 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

an emotional level—talking through any past traumas or fears will be important—but slapping the label “rape fantasy” on rough(er) sex shouldn’t result in you having some sort of out-ofbody experience that leads you to go apeshit on your helpless fiancée. Talk things through in advance, just like you have before, agree on a safe word—a word that stops the action cold should either of you utter it—and take it slow the first few times you go for it.

I’ve been dating a girl for a while, and I take our relationship seriously. Sometimes sex is a little difficult because of her pubic hair. She shaves it close to the labia, which is right where my cock is going in and out, and it’s very prickly.

I don’t mean lightly prickly—it’s like a bunch of wooden chopsticks have been filed down and shaped into a cylinder, and I’ve been asked to let them clench my dick. I brought it up once and tried to gently suggest a waxing or letting the hair grow back. She didn’t want to talk about it. I get it: Nobody likes having their genital area critiqued. But the problem keeps recurring. I understand that I don’t really have the right to dictate her grooming habits. And if waxing is out of the question for her—maybe there are philosophical implications I’m not up to speed on—how can I suggest that maybe there are other solutions?

—Seeks Counsel Regarding Agonizing Penile Exfoliation The only solution is your girlfriend letting her pubic hair grow back permanently, SCRAPE, since waxed labia will eventually become stubble-covered labia. Here’s how you suggest letting those pubes grow back: Start by letting your girlfriend know you’re aware that women have had to endure millennia of misogynistic/religious garbage about their genitals—but you shouldn’t have to silently endure painful sex because that garbage has made discussing her choices around genital grooming unnecessarily fraught. This isn’t about appearance or preferences or clashing philosophies about pubic grooming. You’re in pain. Address the matter directly. n

There’s more Savage Love!

Read more at ph.ly/savage Ask a question: mail@savagelove.net

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NOTICE OF RENEWAL OF APPLICATION FOR PAWNBROKER LICENSE. Notice is given that Cash Express Pawn Brokers, did on December 11, 2015, submit to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, Department of Banking, an application for renewal licensure of a pawnbroker office at this location, which is as follows: 735 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, PA 19106. All interested persons may file written comments in favor or in opposition to the application, with the Pawnbroker Hearing Officer, Pennsylvania Dept. of Banking, 333 Market Street, 16th Floor, Harrisburg, PA 17101-2290. All comments to be considered must be received by the Department within thirty (30) days from the date of this newspaper publication.

NOTICE OF RENEWAL OF APPLICATION FOR PAWNBROKER LICENSE. Notice is given that George’s Golden Scale, did on December 11, 2015, submit to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, Department of Banking, an application for renewal licensure of a pawnbroker office at this location, which is as follows: 79 S.8th Street, Philadelphia, PA 19106. All interested persons may file written comments in favor or in opposition to the application, with the Pawnbroker Hearing Officer, Pennsylvania Dept. of Banking, 333 Market Street, 16th Floor, Harrisburg, PA 17101-2290. All comments to be considered must be received by the Department within thirty (30) days from the date of this newspaper publication.

PUBLIC NOTICE T-Mobile intends to submit a Section 106 submission for a modification of an existing water tank located at 4850 Rhawn Street, Philadelphia, PA 19136. T-Mobile is publishing this notice in accordance with federal regulation 37CFR 1.1307, the NEPA and the ACHP 36 CFR 800.

T-Mobile proposes to remove three (3) existing antennas and replace them with three (3) LNX-6515DS-VTM antennas and three (3) new RRU's.

New antennas and associated equipment will be installed on the existing water tank. Parties interested in submitting comments or questions regarding any potential effects of the proposed modifications on historic properties may do so by contacting Anthony Secary, Advantage Engineers, LLC at 435 Independence Avenue, Suite C, Mechanicsburg, PA 17055, 717-458-0800 or asecary@advantageengineers.com

phillyweekly.com | December 17 - 23, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 25

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EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY All real estate advertised in this newspaper is subject to federal, state and localfair housing laws, which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation, or discriminationbased on race; color; religion;sex; disability; familial; (presence of children);national origin; age (Pennsylvania and New Jersey); martial status or sexual orientation(Pennsylvania and New Jersey), or source of Income (Philadelphia only) in the sale, rentalor financing or insuring of housing. This paper will not knowingly accept any advertisingfor real estate which violates these laws. The law requires that all dwellings advertised beavailable on an equal opportunity basis. If you believe you have been discriminated againstin connection with the sale, rent, financing or insuring of housing or commercial property,call HUD at 1-888-799-2085

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26 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

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1117 Spruce St

Between 6th & 7th off of Fitzwater 3 Lots $350,000

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CLINTON PLACE – PINE & 11th – Bright & Cheery studio w/ view of Kahn Park, Elevator Building, H/W Floors, Laundry on Premise, Avail. Now! HEAT/HOT WATER INCLUDED $815 LOMBARD & 12th – Spacious Two Bedroom w/ Lots of natural sunlight, Beautiful H/W, C/A, W/D, D/W, & Storage Unit Provided, Avail. NOW! FIRST MONTH FREE RENT $1,385 LOMBARD & 8th – Spacious Bi-level One Bedroom w/ Loft, Hardwood Floors, Decorative Red Brick Fireplace, Central Air, Laundry on Premise, Storage Unit Provided, Avail. Now! $1,185

n ctio

714-22 Bainbridge St -13 Condos with Garage Parking - 2/2- Gardens & Decks. FROM $379,900

Great Rental

THE CLAREMONT – CLINTON & 10th – Beautifully Renovated One Bedroom w/ Granite Countertop & Stainless Steel Appliances, D/W, Ceiling Fans, Luxurious Bath, Gorgeous Hardwood Floors , Laundry on Premise, Avail. Now ALL UTILITES INCLUDED! $1,375

friends telling friends!

Have you ever had a dream about owning your own Deeded Queen Village Parking Space? WELL SOMETIMES DREAMS COME TRUE. We have 7 deeded spots available in a secured Queen Village Location. $67,500.00 HURRY 2 ALREADY SOLD

RITTENHOUSE SQUARE FITLER SQUARE

DELANCEY & 17th – Bright and Beautiful One bedroom with a Den, HW floors, Hi-ceilings, laundry on premises, prestigious neighborhood, AVAIL for immediate occupancy! $1,285

2nd Floor A Pleasant & roomy rear bedroom with hardwood floors & a curved glass window bay that leads to a small balcony thru glass patio door. A Wall of Closets with centered custom built in with TV & a wall of custom built in shelving & an Atrium Door to a Small Balcony Area, Large Hall w/ curved wall & light cove abode, Full Tile Bath w/ Double Vanity, Jetted Tub, Separate Shower + Large Linen Closet w/ shelving cubbies & Laundry chute. There is a Lovely Front Room w/ Hardwood Floors and 2 windows with wood blinds, Lighted Coved Ceilings & a wall of Closets w/ curved detail & custom shelving.

90% of

from 12:30-4:30pm Please call to arrange a viewing

THE CHATHAM: WALNUT & 20TH - Studios and One bedrooms in High Rise Doorman bldg w/Magnificent Western & Southern exposure, View of Rittenhouse Square, HW Floors, Laundry on site, Professionally Managed.

AVAILABLE NOW and JANUARY! ALL UTILITIES INCLUDED! $1,350/$1485

Step up to an Awesome Living Room, Hardwood Floors, Gas Fireplace and triple glass patio doors overlooking the Outdoor Space. The Lower Level WOW! A Comfortable Great Den Room with Window, Built-in TV & bookcases, Designer Powder Room, Office Space + Incredible laundry room anchored with Poggenpohl Cabinetry (could easily be converted to a prep Kitchen-including a 2nd fridge) + a laundry shoot from the 2nd Floor bathroom & built in ironing center. The Entire Area boasts Closets for clothes and storage, shelving & cubbies everywhere including a pantry and full side by side refrigerator. Every Nook & Cranny space used.

Patrick 215-440-8172

SATURDAY APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE

Society Hill Office 530 W a ln ut St. Sui te # 26 0 Phi la de lp hi a, P A 19 10 6



Independently owned and operated member of the Prudential Real Estate Affiliates, Inc.

I Love You, I Hate You

...is BACK! BACK!

One of Philly’s most beloved columns is back to give your rants, One of beloved columns is back to give raves, andPhilly’s unbridledmost emotion space to spill free on the printed page.

youryour rants, raves, and your unbridled emotion space Email diatribes, your pleas, passions to: lovehate@phillyweekly.com.

Just keep your emotions to free on the printed page.

100 words or less people. Appearing soon...in Philly Weekly.

to spill

Email your 100 words or less to lovehate@phillyweekly.com.

phillyweekly.com | December 17 - 23, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 27

NORTHERN LIBERTIES

$950,000

The highest quality of design and detail by experienced developers nestled in a secluded location providing an unparalleled living experience. This 3BD/3.5BA brand new construction home features all the amenities a buyer could desire… finished basement, 3 outdoor spaces, 1-car garage, Anderson windows and 3/4” solid hand-scraped birch hardwood floors throughout. You will love unparalleled, contemporary living in this prime Northern Liberties location.

ART MUSEUM AREA

$639,900

This wonderful 3BD/2.5BA home is in impeccable move in condition, offering a patio, terrace with skyline views, 1-car garage and more! Located in the heart of the Art Museum Area yet nestled on a quiet, low traffic block. Follow open wood stairs to the tremendous 23’ wide ope, sun-filled living room complete with wood flooring, dramatic wood burning fireplace with stone wall and wood mantle.

Also features a beautiful chefs kitchen.

SOCIETY HILL

$2,000,000

RITTENHOUSE SQUARE

$319,900

Unbelievably unique 4BD/3.2BA property with the highest quality of renovations and impeccable features throughout on a charming cobblestone block with red brick sidewalks, trees and lampposts. This double wide property offers an abundance of space for all your entertaining needs!

The lower level features a bedroom suite- rear gym and large wine cellar. 1-year prepaid parking at 2nd & Lombard. A truly remarkable home in the finest of locations.

Beautifully appointed, “LaRoque”, condo conversion done by quality builder approximately 8 years ago with exquisite attention to detail and unparalled craftsmanship throughout! This is a lower level 1 bedroom, 1 bath unit saturated with light! Flexible open living space; perfect for expansion as dining area w/access to paved outdoor space- the ideal spot for relaxing or entertaining! Beautiful, state-of-the-art kitchen, rear yard, and more all in prime Rittenhouse Square!

BELLA VISTA

QUEEN VILLAGE

$875,000

This Handsome brick front, 8 years young, 2545 square feet, custom 3BD/3BA Bella Vista Beauty boasts garage parking, 3 outdoor spaces including 2 decks with sky line views, gleaming hardwood floors thru out, a chef’s ultra granite and stainless kitchen, marble bathrooms, finished basement and much, much more. There is also a magnificent master suite with a gas fireplace, custom closets and an exquisite Spa like, marble bathroom. Don’t miss this!

28 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

$300,000

Nicely renovated 2BD/2BA on a fantastic Queen Village block! Open living room and kitchen with gleaming wood floors, recessed lighting, crown molding and nicely designed kitchen with granite countertop, tile backsplash, island bar counter and stainless steel appliances. Nice size yard with patio and garden area! Basement offers storage space, laundry and mechanicals. Convenient to everything!

Looking to advertise real estate or open houses?

Contact jay@phillyweekly.com for more information.

For over 90 years the most respected name in Philadelphia Real Estate Center City’s Largest Independent Realtor

739 BAINBRIDGE ST BELLA VISTA STRADA

Fabulous new construction, 4br, 4b, +/-3500sf, gourmet kitchen, Smart House Technology, patio, roof deck, Garage, tax abatement

$1,349,900 Call Jody Volpe

410 S FRONT ST #216 SOCIETY HILL NEW LISTING! OPEN SUNDAY 12/20, 12-2 PM

Brand new 2br, 2b, upgraded h/w flrs, private balcony with river view, 2 car garage parking, tax abatement

$779,000 Call Franz Rabauer

537 PINE ST SOCIETY HILL

Gorgeous sun-filled historic home, 5br, 3.5b, h/w flrs, 2 fireplaces, remodeled kitchen, courtyard

& Associates, Inc. Realtors

339 S 2ND ST SOCIETY HILL

Exquisite wide corner contemporary 3br, 2.5b, cook’s kitchen, private garden, roof deck, garage parking

$1,300,000 Call Francisco Carreno

$1,249,000 Call Scott Neifeld

1237 CHRISTIAN ST HAWTHORNE OPEN SUNDAY 12/20, 12-1 PM

856 N 20TH ST ART MUSEUM

Top quality new construction, +/-2532sf, 3br, 2.5b, h/w flrs, rear yard, roof top deck with skyline view, finished basement, tax abatement

$629,000 Call Maryellen Cammisa

Search all Center City Properties at: www.PlumerRE.com

Corner 3br, 2.5b, h/w flrs, parking, patio, CMX2 zoning offers 1st floor commercial potential

$399,900 Call Karen Joslin

204 S 3RD ST SOCIETY HILL OPEN SUNDAY 12/20, 1-3 PM Bright contemporary, 3br, 2b, w/b fireplace, 2 decks, garage parking

$799,000 Call Izzy Sigman

617 S 7TH ST BELLA VISTA

2br, 1b Trinity with historic details, c/a, private back yard, Walk Score 99

$277,000 Call Cecile Steinriede

226 South Street 215 922 4200

BELLA VISTA Trinity with eat-in kitchen and yard on a small tree lined street $299,900

BELLA VISTA 3 Bedroom townhouse with open kitchen and outdoor space $474,900

FRANCISVILLE Fabulous tri-level condo with stained oak floors, balcony, patio and 1 car garage $369,000

NEW LISTING RITTENHOUSE SQUARE Beautiful condo with Pergo oak floors, high ceilings, fitness center and 24-hour concierge $165,000

marissa@ewrhomes.com SOUTH STREET 3 Bedroom townhouse with contemporary construction. Balcony and central air $475,000

FITLER SQUARE Fabulous 2 bedroom plus den with 2 car garage, loft ceilings, wood fireplace and roof deck $625,000

phillyweekly.com | December 17 - 23, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 29

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DINE

Movie Tavern | Ticket prices range from $9-15 | 110 Bartlett Ave, Exton

1923 Chestnut Street · 215.568.6002 · www.breakawaybikes.com

Movie Tavern has officially opened the doors to its third Pennsylvania location with its Exton grand opening. After $17 million and over seven months of construction, the new nine-screen, 43,485-sq.-ft. theater is welcoming guests to experience the company’s fullservice cinema-eatery concept. Exton joins Flourtown and Collegeville, which also boast the eat & watch movie theater combo. Perfect for consolidating dinner and a movie dates and to getting sloshed when a flick doesn’t live up to expectations.

PHILADELPHIA’S FIRST & BEST VISIT Innovation Plaza | 37th St. between Market & Chestnut sts.

Didn’t seem possible we’d be talking about an Eagles winning streak and visiting a park in mid-December, did it? But here we are! While the weather’s still unnervingly warm, enjoy one of the city’s newest pocket parks, which recently opened in UCity. Props need to go to the University City Science Center, who transformed the once drab pedestrian walkway into Innovation Plaza, which boasts seating, plantings, game tables and an entertainment zone. If you’re feeling especially mesmerized by the park’s design, that’s no accident. Designers employed “the Golden Ratio,” the proportion found throughout nature and design that’s supposed to be extra easy on the eyes, or something like that.

PLAY

It’s A Holiday Soul Party | $9.49-20 | Daptone Records

Open Noon Til Midnight Every Day

THE GIFT THAT LASTS FOREVER. SAVE

10%

ON ALL GIFT CARDS purchased by December 31st of $100 or more.

30 | Philly Weekly | December 17 - 23, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

Have the shopping crowds drained your spirit this holiday season? Let Sharon Jones and The Dap-Kings provide a much needed transfusion of soul with their first foray into seasonal tunes.

The Grammy-nominated soul band’s holiday album features 11 original and traditional holiday songs like “8 Days (Of Hanukkah),” the band’s ode to the Festival of Lights, and their classic “Ain’t No Chimneys In The Projects.” The ten-piece band is currently touring the States, but skipping over Philly by way of NYC and D.C. Don’t hold that against ‘em, though. sharonjonesandthedapkings.com