Philly Weekly 12-14-2016

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LTERNATIVE PHILLY’S NEWS A

Philly Nutt Crak-Up

One More Fight Night

The annual full-flavored performance returns

51-year-old Bernard Hopkins returns to the ring

PAGE 16

Capitalizing on confusion How Toll Brothers exploited loopholes to demolish historic Jewelers Row

BY Hayden Mitman

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n a matter of months, five of the storefront buildings that make up Philadelphia’s historic Jeweler’s Row will likely be gone, demolished to make way for a new 29-story residential high-rise.

Karen Guss, a spokesperson for the City’s Department of Licenses and Inspections said that on Dec. 1 a new zoning permit application was submitted to L&I for the construction of a new building. The change found Toll looking to increase the height of the building from its originally proposed 16-stories, to a new plan for a 29-story residential complex.

“Toll has revised the design and now needs a new Zoning permit,” she wrote in an email to PW last Tuesday.

“As is permitted by the current zoning for the site, Toll Brothers City Living plans to build its Washington Square project to 29 stories,” said Tim Spreitzer, vice president at Tierney Communications via email. Toll commissioned the Conshohocken-based full service agency to handle its public relations with Spreitzer, known specifically for his work in crisis communications.

“This building height and our plans are in character with other developments in the Washington Square area, and Toll Brothers remains committed to preserving the iconic Jewelers Row streetscape while rejuvenating it for the future.”

SEE PAGE 8

DECEMBER 14-21, 2016

f o m le b o r p e u r t s ’ Is Philly hn? o J e h t r o . .. e n a J e h t prostitution rin

BY Max Ma

ped and “My heart stop . ys sa e sh ” e, twic ’ve been dead e back to life.” the numbers: seven years m t gh ou br they ake at a ugh her life by Mimi runs thro venue; three or four days aw of sleep by 18 hours Kensington A urs, followed tricking under ur atho o tw y er ev gh s overdoses; fo time, getting hi abandoned house; countles ctional Facility for re or in a “bando,” three stints in Riverside Cor b; 6 ha SEE PAGE tempts at re ics possession. ot rc na or on prostituti

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PHILLYWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 14-21, 2016

DECEMBER 14-21, 2016

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DECEMBER 14-21, 2016

Connect with us: @PhillyWeekly EDITORIAL Don Russell, Editor-in-chief, drussell@bsmphilly.com Kerith Gabriel, Editor, kgabriel@philadelphiaweekly.com Anastasia Barbalios, Managing Editor, anastasia@phillyweekly.com Max Marin, Staff Writer, mmarin@phillyweekly.com

state city

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY 2 Executive Campus, Cherry Hill, N.J. 08002 Phone: 215-563-7400 Classified: 215-354-3054

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hiladelphia City Council wants to introduce legislation to ban LGBTQ conversion therapy of minors. While council is unsure if any mental professionals in city use the outdated practice, it would like to create laws against it to end any current practices and thwart the idea of new ones coming into the region.

“We are setting ourselves back in time to say anybody who is in the LGBTQ community [has a] medical issue and can be fixed in some way,” said councilman Mark Squilla.

According to a Philly.com, similar legislation was mulled over by city council members in Pittsburgh, which also passed the bill.

Green Party candidate Jill Stein’s proposed hand recount of ballots in three states getting overturned.

PIECE

OF S@#&

OF THE WEEK Sandi Gibson, owner of the Star Career Academy in Northeast Philadelphia.

According to Daily News columnist Ronnie Polaneczky, Gibson had her staff notify 1,000 students last month via text message—that’s right, text message—that it was shutting down the program. The for-profit training school charged students $17,900 in tuition, of which we wonder how much went to pay for the upkeep of Gibson’s in-ground pool at her $582,000 Mount Laurel, N.J., home.

Players to watch Eagles vs. Baltimore, Dec. 18

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up, thumbs down Cheers to Philadelphia City Council, for passing the “ticket to tow” bill by a resounding 15-1. The bill is intended to stem predatory towing, in which bogus no-parking signs are used to impound cars.

BUSINESS Perry Corsetti, COO, pcorsetti@bsmphilly.com John Gallo, Publisher, jgallo@southphillyreview.com Deidre Simms, Director of Major Accounts, deidre@phillyweekly.com

Coming of Age

Thumbs

PLAYER POS RECORD Jimmy Smith CB Charged with disorderly conduct after resisting police.

Lorenzo Taliaferro RB Punched a taxi cab window in Virginia while under the influence.

Joe Flacco QB Nothing bad to say about Flacco. Carry on Joe, carry on.

Darren Sanders Front Office Former Ravens director of security who plead not guilty to sexual assault in 2014.

Molly Shattuck Cheerleader Sentenced to two years in a work release prison for the rape of a 15-year-old boy.

Ray Rice RB No longer with the team, but still, come on man, knocking your wife unconscious and dragging her out of an elevator is forever lore in the book of scumbaggery.

“Would Hemingway have done himself in 10 years earlier if had been forced to hack out

“The Old Man and the Sea” in Microsoft Word?”

Oh, shut up!

—South Philly Review columnist Tom Cardella, on modern technology that seemingly has made life easier for writers such as himself.

Cardella admitted his rant in last week’s SPR was to “relieve the pressure of this modern technological existence into which I’ve been dragged kicking and screaming.”

DECEMBER 14-21, 2016

Holiday cards for the homeless and craft paper, or just pick up a box of cards at the Dollar Tree—it doesn’t matter as long as you include a handwritten message inside.

Get them into the mail by Dec. 15, to Sunday Breakfast Rescue Mission, P.O. Box 297, Philadelphia, Pa. 19105. And share your goodwill on social media: @phillyhomeless #holidaycards4homeless.

TEAM Energetic Team Energy STRONG Small Group Focused ONE Personal One-on-One Attention

PHILLYWEEKLY.COM

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hese days, people are too busy (or lazy) to mark the holidays with any more effort than is required to click “send� on a cheesy social media emoji. Here’s a way to get into the spirit, and put a smile on the face of someone less fortunate, courtesy of the Sunday Breakfast Rescue Mission.

The North Philly-based homeless shelter and mission is accepting holiday cards for the more than 5,000 men, women and children who will experience homelessness this holiday season. Pull out your scissors

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DECEMBER 14-21, 2016 PHILLYWEEKLY.COM 6

Tricky subject >> From page 1: Mimi is a denizen of Kensington’s prostitution trade— a scene that goes hand-in-hand with the neighborhood’s well-known drug trade. Residents frequently air complaints at neighborhood meetings. Sex in the alleyways, condoms on the stoop, late-night altercations about money or drugs. The sex workers, mostly women, work in plain sight near schools and businesses and family homes.

The police have to deal with these complaints, even if they know handcuffs won’t solve the problem.

“There’s a backstory to Kensington Avenue that nobody understands or reads about,” says Lieutenant Gary Ferguson, head of the PPD’s vice unit.

“We’re out here every day and we get to see these girls on a level that nobody else sees.”

Ferguson spends half his waking hours out here looking for the “big picture.” He speaks in a low, woody timbre. He’s measured—stoic even—but there’s undeniable emotion beneath his words. Every story has a history of tears: “We’ve locked up girls and they’ve said things like, ‘Damn, I’m supposed to go pick up my kids after school,’ or ‘I’m supposed to take my dad to dialysis.’ They got real lives outside of being prostitutes. They’ve got real responsibilities. ‘I’ve got to help my kid with his homework.’ They’re real people who just happen to have an addiction problem.”

Much like the drug trade, the vice squad faces the question of supply or demand. And as much as Ferguson would prefer to lock up all the johns, the reality is that, each year, Philadelphia police arrest hundreds more sex workers than they do johns on the streets.

THE QUESTION “JANES” OR “JOHNS” Part of the vice squad’s job is targeting more organized operations, like hourly motels in West and Northeast Philly, massage parlors in Chinatown, and various sex-for-pay solicitations through free classified websites.

In 2015, PPD’s vice squad for the first time allowed a news team behind the scenes during a sting, which resulted in an inside report from CBS News Investigative Team. The cops laid a bait post on Backpage.com. Men answered the calls for a hotel date. Once they had sufficient evidence, the squad collared seven men for solicitation.

Around the same time, the PPD also started posting pictures of individuals arrested for solicitation on Facebook.

It was part of a larger deterrence effort

that prioritizes the so-called johns, who are mostly men, rather than the sex workers, who are mostly women, and many of them victims.

Nonetheless, between 2010 and 2015, the PPD made 5,560 arrests for prostitution, compared to only 1,239 for solicitation.

In 2014, the police department made 305 arrests for solicitation across the city—the most Johns police have ever locked up in a single year, according to Ferguson. That same year, officers also hit record-high numbers for prostitution arrests with 1,055.

Many of the arrests are for street prostitution, the bulk of which occur along Kensington Avenue, though there are other locales along Old York Road in North Philly, and even certain corners in Center City.

Police make prostitution arrests using plain-clothes officers. To target solicitors, they perform “reverses,” in which female officers impersonate sex workers. But the former takes fewer resources than the latter. Ferguson says it requires up to 10 officers to perform a “reverse” sting, while he can make prostitution arrests with just three or four officers.

Despite the data, johns are still the vice unit’s No. 1 priority, Ferguson says. But it’s more than a matter of manpower. At the end of the day, the workers themselves present a more visible problem to the surrounding community.

“A lot of the social groups are against locking the girls up, but the community deserves to have a little bit of relief,” Ferguson says, repeating the phrase with a sigh: “A little bit of relief.”

Family members call Ferguson’s office. Sometimes they know the exact corner their loved one is working along the Avenue—standing outside the bodega on A Street, sitting the fire hydrant beneath the tree on Albert Street—and they beg Ferguson to arrest her, if only to get her off the streets for a night.

“We’ve already realized we can’t arrest ourselves out of the problem,” he says. “We already know that locking these girls up is not the solution. That’s a temporary fix.”

ESCAPING FROM UNDER THE EL Mimi is dope-sick, catching warmth in a pizza shop. She’ll need to work to afford her next fix soon. The drugs don’t even get her high anymore, she says, not even the ultra-potent brands of heroin and fentanyl that authorities believe are connected to dozens of fatal overdoses in recent weeks.

“I’m sick of this lifestyle,” she says.

“But I just have a hard time facing reality.”

It’s quiet now, but corridors like this one along Kensington Avenue have become hotspots for illegal sex activity.

Mimi’s reality can’t be counted by the numbers: the father who molested her as a child; the two-month old baby she lost to sudden infant death syndrome; the countless overdoses and bad dates in the days since.

Most of the men who frequent the sex workers aren’t from the Kensington area. Ferguson says between 50 and 60 percent come from suburbs like Cherry Hill, King of Prussia and Bucks County.

For some dates, “bad” would be an understatement.

In 2010, the “Kensington Strangler” caught international attention for a series of murders targeting drug-addicted sex workers. Another predator was recently arrested in connection to several assaults on Kensington sex workers, including the July murder of Rickie Morgan.

In light of International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers this week, it’s important to note that the overwhelming majority of assaults on sex workers don’t make headlines.

Each week, Project Safe collects reports of these bad dates from the girls, which read like ticker-tape from the underworld. November 22: A white male with a chin strap picked up a girl on Pacific Street. He tied her up at knife-point, raped and sodomized her with an unknown object. November 7: A baby-faced black male picks up a girl at 3 a.m. She went unconscious in his car. He tore off her clothes, threatened her with a knife, choked her, and then raped her.

Unlike some of the sex workers, Mimi doesn’t have any family she can return to for help.

If she’s arrested for prostitution, the District Attorney’s Office may offer her one of two voluntary diversion programs, which are based on problem-solving court methods. One is the Accelerated Misdemeanor Program, or AMP, which is a non-trial program that community service and social service assistance, including help getting in rehab.

The other program is for long-term sex workers who have been arrested more than three times for prostitution. Project Dawn Court, which some informally call “Jane School,” offers more intensive help, from trauma counseling to housing assistance. It’s like a “last lifesaver” to get women like Mimi off the streets, says Derek Riker, chief of the District Attorney’s Diversion Courts unit.

Riker processes 50 individuals through Project Dawn each year.

Since these programs started in 2010, the District Attorney’s Office says 250 prostitution cases have been referred to the AMP program. Since 2013, over 50 women have graduated from Project Dawn Court. Recidivism rates for women who completed the program were not immediately available.

“We have some women who are interested, but feel they’re not in a position to succeed in the program,” Riker says. They’re just not willing to take the chance of doing it, because ultimately, if you fail the program, you do expose yourself to being convicted and sentenced.”

Despite public health arguments against criminalizing prostitution, Pennsylvania courts come down hard with a harsh five-year maximum sentence for a first-degree misdemeanor like prostitution. Riker, who’s been working prostitution cases for a decade, says most end in a probationary sentence. Jail time is reserved for repeat offenders who refuse or fail diversion programs, and even then, most sentences are a year or less.

The johns have a diversion program as well, or “John School.”

First-time offenders arrested for solicitation can take a program called the Sexual Education and Responsibility (SER) program, which involves a mandatory group counseling and therapy.

It’s either that or face jail time.

Riker says that of 485 participants in the SER program, roughly 10 individuals were rearrested within a year.

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DECEMBER 14-21, 2016 PHILLYWEEKLY.COM 8

Striking Gold >> From page 1: A recent Inquirer article, noted that Jewelers Row along Sansom Street is zoned for this type of development, saying the Toll Brothers building “would stand at least 300 feet tall.”

In order to construct the building, Horsham-based Toll Brothers real estate development company plans to demolish five buildings on historic Jewelers Row— though, Spreitzer said that, “While no date has been set to unveil the design at this time, we intend to continue working with the Mayor, the City Council and the community at large as we finalize and refine our project.”

Still, the city will lose 702, 704, 706-08, and 710 Sansom Street as well as a contiguous property at 128 S. Seventh Street—in what is considered the oldest diamond district in America.

Earlier this year, Paul Steinke, executive director of the Preservation Alliance for Greater Philadelphia nominated both 704 and 706-08 Sansom Street for the register, citing the former use of the buildings, built by noted publisher Henry C. Lea, as a publishing house and an electrotype foundry. As it stands, only three properties along the row—700, 732-34 and 701-07 Sansom Street—are currently protected by the city’s historic register.

A committee for the Philadelphia Historical Commission initially supported Steinke’s nominations.

But on Nov. 10, the full commission decided to table the issue, citing the fact that a demolition permit had already been delivered to Toll Brothers.

But, how did the demolition plan seemingly move forward despite a vocal push to preserve the buildings? Some of it has to do with the procedure that got the demolition permits issued in the first place.

According to Steinke, notice for the application of zoning permits needed for demolition were initially posted only on the building at 128 S. Seventh St., which is a contiguous property to the others.

Guss admitted that how the city handles permit posting can be confusing. Until this year, developers intending to demolish a building had 10 days after obtaining the demolition permit to post on the targeted structures.

But, she said, thanks to a City Council bill passed this year, that “10-day clock” was removed and instead, developers must post a demolition notice on the targeted structure, “upon submittal of an application for a building permit for the demolition of a structure.”

The 10-day clock, she said, now applies to when the demolition permit is applied for. There’s also a requirement for posting of the demolition zoning permits which are necessary to authorize demolition.

According to information provided by the city’s Department of Licenses and Inspections, Toll Brothers initially applied for the zoning permit for building demolition and a consolidation of the five lots in late July. The developer applied for a demolition permit on Aug. 4.

Around this time, the posting appeared only on the property at 128 S. Seventh St., but not on others, which is why those hoping to save the buildings said they were taken off guard.

“I was shocked. I’m still shocked,” said Jane Thies, 57, who rents an apartment above the jewelry store at 704 Sansom Street.

Graphic: Kimberly Neal-Krauss

According to Theis, who has lived on the row for 40 years, when those renting residential apartments along Jewelers Row—a group that Theis said is so tight-knit that they are considering moving as one group into properties on nearby Chestnut Street— saw the Seventh Street demolition notice, they thought little of it.

“That [Seventh Street] building isn’t even remotely historical, so we weren’t surprised to see that,” she said.

But, after Steinke learned that Sansom Street properties were also involved as part of that demolition project, he put together paperwork in the hopes of nominating two buildings to the register. Steinke efforts fueled an online petition that as of Dec. 7 featured 6,904 signatures of largely local preservationists and various other notable supporters.

Going even further back, Steinke cited issues with the permit posting when he attempted to appeal Toll Brothers’ planned project before the city’s Zoning Board of Appeals in October.

It was a contentious meeting, according to PlanPhilly’s Jake Blumgart, who said at one point, Toll Brothers’ attorney, Carl Primavera, was even accused by the audience of making racist remarks after he told a Jewelers Row resident—who was of Asian-American ethnicity and had spoke in support of preserving the structures—that, “You are unfamiliar with our culture and our legal process.”

Before the ZBA, Steinke appealed these zoning permits for the demolition of the buildings saying that proper procedure was not followed in this instance, but his appeal was denied.

“That was disappointing,” he said.

In a recent email, Guss said that the ZBA denied the appeal when they determined that there was enough notice to indicate “the parties clearly knew about the

zoning permit applications in time to appeal them because they were appealing the permits right then and there [before the ZBA].”

At the time, there was such concern over the demolition permitting process for these structures that Mayor Jim Kenney even got involved, releasing a statement on Oct. 12, stating: “Regrettably, we have reviewed the current law at length, and the developer has proceeded in accordance with City Code.”

“However, I have spoken with representatives from Toll Brothers, and I asked them to go above and beyond what the law requires in preserving the historic nature of these properties,” the statement continued.

“I strongly requested that they preserve the second and third floor facades [of each proposed buildings] , and I would also ask that they adopt the recommendations of the Civic Design Review Board. They have given me and Councilman [Mark] Squilla their word that they are committed to maintaining Jewelers Row as a historic, cultural gem for future generations of Philadelphians to enjoy.”

Also, all of the buildings involved now have permit notices posted.

As Spreitzer noted, so far, designs for the proposed project have not been displayed to the public; yet, Toll Brothers will need to present renderings to the Jewelers Row community before any construction can begin.

However, even with all the proposed compliance and playing by the rules Toll has promised to the community, Theis said that she worries the new building will bring the end to what Jewelers Row has been for many decades.

“This is going to be the death knell of Jewelers Row,” said Theis. “It’s not going to revitalize anything. How can you revitalize something by tearing it down?”

DECEMBER 14-21, 2016

The Rules Totally Applied How the city got played in these contract permits for Jewelers Row.

BY Kerith Gabriel

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they no longer wish to have a productive relationship with the City of Philadelphia.”

These are, of course, just words. Kenney and the city have all the authority of a stepparent stamping his foot over a bratty teen. In this scenario, Toll Brothers refers to him as “Jim,” not “Mr. Mayor.” I mean, geez, you can almost picture the team of Toll execs sitting around a conference room with a scale model of the 700 block of Sansom, laughing hysterically and high-fiving each other.

Even as Kenney fumed, Toll continued to play the city. The company has the floor at an upcoming meeting of the Washington West Civic Association, where it is expected to unveil renderings. Know however, that the association only has advisory power so this is only playing nice while planning the inevitable.

Plus, the meeting is slated for Dec. 27.

How many residents do you really think are going to pack the house at a civic meeting two days after Christmas?

If it really becomes all systems go on this current deal, “Toll Tower” (we just thought it had a nice ring to it), would be one of the tallest buildings east of Broad. Compared to the other buildings in the vicinity, it’s going to be the Comcast Center of Jewelers Row. So who’s to really to blame here?

Honestly, it’s even.

Posting demo permits on an adjacent street to deter resident backlash: Toll.

Doubling the size of the highrise after winning initial approval? Toll.

Believing Toll would retain the look and feel of one of the oldest city blocks by agreeing to preserve the facades while erecting a monstrosity? City.

Not seeing this coming and subsequently getting played like some punk ass bitches?

City, all the way.

PHILLYWEEKLY.COM

oll Brothers took the city for a fool.

And it was right to do so.

By posting its demolition notice on adjacent Seventh Street, the suburban real estate firm shrewdly diverted attention from its real target: the iconic, stretch of small stores along Jewelers Row. Let’s be honest, Seventh is the strip with the cash for gold shops that leads into the crown jewel—but it ain’t the crown jewel.

And then, after winning the right to demolish several of those stores, how easy was it to go back and nearly double the size of the high-rise? Apparently super freaking easy, based on the details in our adjoining primary report in this issue, Capitalizing on Confusion.

It wasn’t till Friday afternoon at 4:30 p.m. that the Mayor’s office finally wised up to Toll Brothers scheme. Kenney’s communications office issued one of those hope-nobody-reads-it press releases that announced: “The news that Toll Brothers intends to double the height of its Jewelers’ Row project and that they will not maintain the second and third floor facades is deeply disturbing, said Kenney. “I had hoped from our previous conversations that they intended to be a good corporate citizen, injecting much needed investment into the area while still respecting its character, but this information calls that into question. While, regrettably, the City, including the Historical Commission, does not have the legal ability to stop the project from moving forward, I am urging Toll Brothers to reconsider these decisions.

“I expect the Civic Design Review Board to make serious recommendations that will respect the historic nature of the properties, and I urge the Toll Brothers to adopt those recommendations or make the necessary adjustments on their own. If they do not, Toll Brothers will be sending a clear message that

Photo by Maria Young

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DECEMBER 14-21, 2016

Judge and jury of “The Executioner” KERITH GABRIEL

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efore this week, I’d planned to write a piece previewing Bernard Hopkins’ return to the ring asking the question, “Why?” I was confused as to why a 51-yearold storied boxer and local hero would want to return to the ring to fight a guy nearly 30 years his junior. Such is the case on Sat., Dec. 17, when Hopkins fights Joe Smith, Jr. (because John Doe apparently wasn’t available) in a 12-round HBO main event at the Forum in Los Angeles.

A fight Hopkins promised to be his swan song.

But he’s said that before.

And yes, I’m poking fun at Smith (22-1, 18 KOs), but according to more than a few guys in the boxing world I spoke to and value their opinion on, this kid is actually legit. But Hopkins doesn’t need to fight. He’s got money, fame and credentials. He’s said numerous times that post-boxing he’s already aligned with HBO as a commentator and has a role in Oscar De La Hoya’s Golden Boy Promotions outfit—which he and De La Hoya both reiterated at a recent workout session.

“He’s proving to everyone that age doesn’t matter,” De La Hoya told reporters. “Bernard Hopkins when he’s done boxing is going to leave a long lasting impression on a ton of young and up-and-coming fighters, and the fact that he’s not done with boxing proves even more. He’s proving to middle-aged men that you can do whatever you want and that age doesn’t mean anything. It really doesn’t.”

So why? Why does a guy with over 60 fights in his professional career (557-2, 32 KOs) want to get into a ring and get punched in the face one more time? Identity crisis comes to mind.

We’ve seen it among those we think of as superhumans. Athletes, soldiers, leave the life, turn the page but have no clue how to write their next chapter.

I assumed this was B-Hop. He’s been referred to as “The Executioner” and “Da Alien,” but try as I might, I just couldn’t see it. Maybe I was jaded. I was at Hopkins’ fight against Sergei Kovalev at Boardwalk Hall in Atlan-

tic City two years ago and I thought he’d consider retirement then. The fight went the distance, but the spotlight—and subsequent decision—went in Kovalev’s favor.

Here we are two years later, and my perspective has totally changed.

It wasn’t Hopkins who changed my thinking. It was the recent passing of astronaut and lifelong politician, John Glenn.

Glenn did the impossible many times in his career. From being the first man to orbit our atmosphere, to getting back in a shuttle at the age of 77 to become the oldest person in space, this was someone that underwent rigorous training and risked his health to prove a point: you’re only as old as you feel.

“Well, I never just thought people should look at the calendar and decide what they do in a particular stage of life,” Glenn told NBC Today host Matt Lauer in a 1998 interview. “If you’re interested in something and feel like it and are in good health to do it, then why not do it?

This instantly made me think of Hopkins.

A few weeks back when Hopkins entered Joe Hand’s Gym, he was in costume dressed like a man that just received his AARP card in the mail—on purpose. He already knew reporters on hand were going to ask the question— and, true to form, we didn’t disappoint.

“I made my entrance [dressed like a senior citizen], for you guys on purpose. I like to recognize it. [Aging] exists whether I like it or not,” said

Hopkins. “People’s opinions are exactly that... but a lot of people also put themselves in a bubble. They put themselves in a situation where they don’t challenge themselves. This is a challenge to me. Because I know that everybody here has been reminded by age somewhere down the line... [I don’t look at this fight] as Russian Roulette, like I’m rolling some dice. [I believe my career] proves that I am one of those exceptions to the rule.”

He’s an exception, sure. Clean eating and living and an intense workout regimen has provided Hopkins with a physique most 50-somethings would yearn to have. His story of spending time in Graterford Correctional Institute and coming out as a model citizen and champion boxer is the stuff of New York Times bestsellers.

But for Hopkins this is all after the fact stuff, the time to talk legacy is on hold. So while I question whether or not Hopkins should step into the ring it’s not really my place. I realized thanks to Glenn—not B-Hop—that if you have all the tangibles I mentioned Hopkins is graced with, then why the hell not.

“I think my greatest legacy is that I came I proved, and I showed that my legacy is always based on one thing: everything they said I couldn’t do,” Hopkins said. “So everything I have done is my legacy. Everything I have accomplished is my legacy.”

Bernard Hopkins, the fighter with nothing to prove will prove a ton once that bell rings Saturday night.

TWITTER: @SPRTSWTR

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DECEMBER 14-21, 2016 PHILLYWEEKLY.COM

Virgin Venues

Philly pops the cork on three new concert spots just ahead of the new year.

BY A.D. AMOROSI

A

t a time of year when locals choose the restaurant or bar in which to spend New Year’s Eve, three enterprising entertainment venues are turning on the lights and polishing up their floors with a vision to rock the house in 2017.

Bowerbird event and office space

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12

One of the many homes to Philadelphia’s avant-garde, the nonprofit Bowerbird organization organizes the most unique in music, dance, film and various other art forms.

On Dec. 6, Bowerbird boss Dustin Hurt and his team christened its new space inside the intimate hallowed halls of University Lutheran Church with a “Bowerball” beer and bingo night. The new venue gives off a midcentury vibe—if you like style and look of Danish furniture, you will love this space—that comfortably seats 125 attendees featuring a grand piano, a pipe organ all served up expertly courtesy of fantastic acoustics throughout.

“We’re a tenant of the congregation and have no spiritual/religious connection to them, but we pay for office space and to use their sanctuary and

other spaces when they aren’t using them,” says Hurt who added that the intimacy of the space makes it ideal for they type of concerts Bowerbird produces. “This new home will allow us to increase the number of concerts we produce [to 2-3 more each month].

We are also looking to add artist residencies and other types of programs.”

Bowerbird | 3637 Chestnut St. | bowerbird.org/newsite

REC Philly: Live!

Once the home to Drinker’s West and just doors from the address that once housed The Blockley and the Chestnut Cabaret, REC Philly: Live! at William Street Common promises to bring live music life back to a block that’s been missing it since 2013.

In addition to being another great music hall, there’s also enough size to allow for a business and networking space. Save for the glow of DJs laptop, the dimly-lit venue which had its soft-open on Dec. 2, is 2,000 sq. ft. with the capacity to hold around 470 attendees.

“Expect all genres [of music and entertainment] to play [here] as their ‘first Philadelphia show’ setting,” says Dave Silver, president and co-founder of REC Philly, who is hopeful for the venue to primarily act as a haven for collaboration and networking of all types. “REC [Philly] is a creative incubator/agency that equips artists and entrepreneurs with the necessary opportunities, resources and strategies to own their talents and create sustainable businesses for themselves.

We’re here to help businesses of all sizes build, engage, and monetize their desired millennial audiences.”

Focusing on local creative entrepreneurs, Silver points to all having access to REC resources and that REC Philly is also interested in using the space

for panel discussions, workshops and gallery-exhibitions. Rec Philly: LIVE! will open to the public every Thursday-Saturday night heading into Jan. 2017. REC Philly: Live! | William Street Common, 3900 Chestnut St. | recphilly.com

The Block at Harrah’s Nearly a full decade to the day it opened, Harrah’s casino in Chester now does what the Sands in Bethlehem has made successful since its start and what Fishtown’s Sugar House casino did in 2016 with the opening of its event center: chase mega-watt live artists and performers.

In a space that holds nearly 1,000 patrons with a bar area that’s 1,550 sq. ft., the revamped live music and dance club space doesn’t eschew why one would hit a casino in the first place: table game and slot action within each attendees grasp.

The casino can boast the recent debut of celebrity chef Guy Fieri’s Philly Kitchen and Bar, but it was the Dec. 3 open of The Block that featured hoppop goddess Iggy Azalea that turned heads and gave validity to this new venue on the Chester waterfront.

“There aren’t many venues where you can play blackjack or roulette, see a concert by a top artist like Iggy Azalea and enjoy cocktails or bottle service in an intimate nightlife and lounge setting,” claims Chris Albrecht, senior vice President and general manager of Harrah’s Philadelphia.

The next big show at The Block is on Dec. 15 as the heavy metal machine erupts with Dizzy Reed (Guns N’ Roses) collabs with John Kelly of Danzig, Mike Duda of W.A.S.P. and Alex Grossi of Quiet Riot. The Block | 777 Harrah’s Blvd, Chester, Pa. | caesars.com/harrahs-philly

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Beer nerds line up in droves for Tired Hands.

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WHAT TO DO | WHERE TO GO | WHERE TO LIVE | WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S UP NEXT

I

tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only 4 p.m. and already thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 100 or so outdoor folding chairs that line the sidewalk on Cricket Terrace, a short, yet winding street in Ardmore.

The chairsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and all their vibrant colorsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;face the street as if awaiting a parade snake for a block, then turn a corner and continue down an adjacent street.

Almost all of them are empty.

Nearby, a handful of guys stand in a small group, waiting. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You shouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen it last week,â&#x20AC;? says one, in a wool cap. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It stretched all the way up to Lancaster Avenue, then back into the parking lot. Mustâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been 600 of them.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Eight hundred,â&#x20AC;? says his friend.

Just another Wednesday afternoon outside Tired Hands Fermentaria, the trendy Main Line brewery. The seats are set up by hardcore beer enthusiastsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;both locals and out-of-towners who drive all night to get here, drawn by the breweryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s once-a-week sale of canned one-offs. At exactly 5 p.m., the breweryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rear door opens, and the throng will eagerly shell out up to $24 for a four-pack of Tired Handsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; notoriously cloudy, hops-heavy pounders. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yeah, I guess it is a little crazy, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not going to lie,â&#x20AC;? says Ashley Clemas, 32, of Manayunk, who heard about the release from a Beer Nerds Facebook group. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my hobby and something I love to do.â&#x20AC;?

Even if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re familiar with the practice of standing in line for special beer releases, the scene around Fermentaria is unique becauseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;until that back door opensâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re likely

to ďŹ nd few people actually in the line.

Instead, starting around noon but sometimes earlier, they claim their spot with a cheap folding chair, then wander off. Some head into the breweryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s restaurant for an extended liquid lunch; others stay warm in their parked cars, juicing up their iPhones; others go home, leaving behind a buddy to watch the chair. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I bring my laptop and spend all day in the restaurant, writing computer code,â&#x20AC;? one 47-year-old tells me. â&#x20AC;&#x153;One time my whole company was in here. I get more work done here, waiting for the beer, than in the ofďŹ ce.â&#x20AC;?

One or two neighboring businesses have complained about the chairs, but Tired Hands sends out workers to keep things orderly, and for the most part Ardmore seems to take the whole thing in stride.

More curious to me, though, is how it is that Tired Hands draws this crowd. The fans in line will tell you that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s because the beer inside the small brewery are so good, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth the hassle. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Their IPAs are incredible,â&#x20AC;? Clemas says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I, personally, sway that way: The hoppier, the better. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The quality, the ďŹ&#x201A;avorâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just nothing else like,â&#x20AC;? adds Bo McClain, 35, of Skippack.

Yet, in truth, other local breweries do make beer thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s every bit as good, every bit as hoppy.

But theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never draw lines like this.

Odder still, more than a few beer experts grouse that Tired Handsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; beer is not all that great. It has never won a major judging competition in ďŹ ve years of operation, some of its

unďŹ ltered one-offs have been known to go bad within weeks, and many purists deride its cloudy, sedimentďŹ lled IPAsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;no matter how tastyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;as â&#x20AC;&#x153;snow globes.â&#x20AC;?

Yet, the hype is undeniable.

Last spring at the Craft Brewers Conference held in Philadelphia, I watched in amazement when professionals lined up 20-deep for a small plastic cup of the brew. Though the keg was running slow and foaming like crazy (a sign something mightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been wrong with the beer), and even though lines were open for two other excellent beers from Yards and Troegs, they waitedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and waitedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;for Tired Hands.

Back on Cricket Terrace, some of those in line acknowledge theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re ďŹ shing for â&#x20AC;&#x153;whalesâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;hard-to-ďŹ nd brews that serve as trade bait for other impossible to ďŹ nd brews. McClain, who joins the line at least twice a month, says a can of Tired Hands can easily attract the likes of Tree House or Trillium, a pair of New England breweries whose IPAs are especially popular these days.

At the head of the line, Eric Everett, 32, is sacked out in a folding chair, holding a place for a friend. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We got here around noon,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We get lunch, hang out. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m mostly doing my buddy a favor because heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the one who likes the beer.â&#x20AC;?

How about you? I ask. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Honestly, not that much. The others in line make fun of me, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m more of a Coors Light guy.â&#x20AC;?

TWITTER: @BEER_RADAR

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Find more events at PhillyWeekly.com

STAGE

Tell us about your upcoming events!

Email Managing Editor Anastasia Barbalios at events@phillyweekly.com

the scene PHILLYWEEKLY.COM

What to do in & around the city

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14 FOOD

Philly Art & Food Cooks Who Care bring together 14 of the city’s most talented chefs, along with a judging panel of industry experts for this evening of Latin artist-inspired bites, music and culture at Philly Art & Food. Browse the art gallery, stop on by the market and head right back for second servings.

Proceeds will benefit the region’s largest Latino arts organization. | 6pm. $55-$65. Coda, 1712 Walnut St. codaphilly.com

STAGE

A Play, A Pie, A Pint Catch a one-act play alongside a pie and a pint. The pub-theatre series returns just in time for the holidays.

Enjoy warm mulled wine, traditional English mince pies, and a new play from acclaimed writer-performer Chris Davies. | 6:30pm. $15. Louis Bluver Theatre at The Drake, 302 S. Hicks St. tinydynamite.org

COMEDY

Coming Attractions 16

Philly’s best comedians turn one of the worst trailers of all time, into a

funny must-see movie on the spot.

From the ashes of some of the worst clips rises a hysterical phoenix of fresh comedy. Hosted by Brian Rumble. | 7pm. $5. Good Good Comedy Theatre, 215 N. 11th St. goodgoodcomedy.com

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15 GAMES

Star Wars Quizzo Join the Philadelphia Film Society and Geekadelphia for a Star Warsthemed game of Quizzo and get trivia ready for the 10pm Advance Screening of Rogue One. Winners will receive prizes and bragging rights.

Costumes are highly recommended. | 7:30pm. $5-$18. Prince Theater, 1412 Chestnut St. princetheater.org

Philly Nutt Crak-Up

C

ontempraDANCE Theatre’s hilarious holiday dance spoof returns, featuring the Rappin SugarPlum Fairy, battling Hip Hoppin Rats, City Hall Dolls, Captain Philadelphia and Liberty Belle-Anne. Based loosely off the famous Christmas ballet, The Nutcracker, artistic director Gail Vartanian weaves in pop and local references of hot spots in the city of Philadelphia in the annual play.

From rapping sugarplum fairies showing off some serious leg, to kung fu fighting superheroes prancing about the stage, Philly Nutt Crak Up is about as far left of the original Nutcracker as you can get. Combine this with the South City Rocky-ettes doing a modern rendition at the Kingdom of Prussia with the aforementioned Philly references being dropped, and you have a modern masterpiece that is sure to whet everyone’s weird Christmas appetite.

If you want a real, Philly-based Christmas show that spits in the face of Christmas tradition and wipes tail with sheets of the same old boring christmas music, check this out. The lewd, lyric-spitting sugar plum fairy will be happy to welcome you. —JOHN DAVIS

Dec. 17-18. Painted Bride Art Center, 230 Vine St. contempradance.com

COMEDY

PERFORMANCE

Fibber

STAR WARS Burlesque

Hear tales of awkward, hilarious, twisted experiences from four experienced storytellers. Decide which one is telling the truth with the help of host Hillary Rea. | 7pm. $5. Good Good Comedy Theatre, 215 N. 11th St. goodgoodcomedy.com

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16

Travel to a galaxy far, far away with with local Philadelphia burlesque performers, as they put on a sexy Star Wars-inspired Burlesque show. Produced by Dottie Riot, the show features Flirt Vonnegut, Renee Rebelle, HoneyTree Evil Eye, Sharp Robert, and Holly Ween. | 7:45pm. $25-$40.

Prince Theater, 1412 Chestnut St. princetheater.org

COMEDY

SHOPPING

Chris Distefano

Barnes Open House

You’ve seen him on Guy Code, Girl Code and as the host of MSG TV’s The Bracket. Now see him in person, when the funnyman brings the funny to Philly. | Dec. 15-17. $16.50$22.50. Punch Line Philly, 1004 Canal St. punchlinephilly.com

FESTIVAL

Bill of Rights Day On the 225th anniversary of the Bill of Rights, the Constitution Center celebrates with a book festival featuring four back-to-back discussions with acclaimed authors. Participating authors include Lee Levine, Timothy Sandefur and Harlow Giles Unger. | 10:30am. $5. National Constitution Center, 525 Arch St. constitutioncenter.org

STAGE

Nutcracker 1776 Enjoy a high energy performance featuring Tchaikovskys timeless musical score, performed by The Rock Schools future dance stars of tomorrow and featuring Philadelphia elements and personages. | Dec. 1617. $17-$27. Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org

Friends, families and neighbors are invited to gather at the Barnes this holidays season for an after-hours shopping winter event fun for the whole gang. Stroll through the holiday market and meet local vendors, shop for artisanal gifts and enjoy wine tasting. | 5pm. Free. Barnes Foundation, 2025 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. barnesfoundation.org

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17 GAMES

Jingle Bell Rock GAYBINGO! Outrageous drag queens, ridiculous musical numbers and scandalous humor are in store for this month’s

PERFORMANCE

Philadelphia Dance Academy: Nutcracker Enjoy the Christmas classic that captivates millions of people every December. Orchestrated by the Philadelphia Dance Company, The Nutcracker will bring you to tears and steal your heart away in the classic tale about a young girl who is saved by her nutcracker doll and then whisked away to a magical kingdom. | 2pm. $15-$20. Drexel University Mandell Theatre, 3201 Chestnut St. philadelphiadanceacademy.com

BENEFIT A night of friends, drinks and judgment to decide who has the ugliest sweater in Philadelphia. Winner of the competition receives a one-year employee discount at City Tap House and your $50 donation benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. | 8pm. $50. City Tap House, 2 Logan Square. citytap.com

ART

Philly Hip Hop Awards

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 20

I

t’s undeniable that Philly has produced some of the best hiphop artists and DJs in the game and some of these same artists have helped define not just a genre of music, but the city of Philadelphia as a mecca at the same time.

So for the sixth straight year, Urban Celebrity Magazine will host the sixth annual Philly Hip Hop awards.

Founded and operated by Jimmy Dasaint, the publisher of Urban Celebrity Magazine. This year’s awards have over 40 categories, featuring best live performer, artist of the year, best rap group, best promoter, best club/party DJ, and comedian, to name a few.

The nominees of these categories include hit artists such as Flex Squad, Greg Nice, Hy Deff, PNB Rock, Dell-P, Bill Collector, and Asia sparks.

Along with the announcement for the winners of each Hip Hop category, there will also be live performances from the nominees, models, jokes, and food provided by Tyemeka’s Soul Food.

After the Hip Hip Awards bring down the curtain, Urban Celebrity Magazine hosts an after party at Ridge Capital. The after party will have more live performances in store, along with some smooth drink specials and hookah to celebrate. —JOHN DAVIS Sun., Dec. 18, 5pm. $30-$40. TLA, 334 South St. urbancelebritymag.com

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18

Plays and Players, 1714 Delancey St. 1812productions.org

RUN/WALK

PERFORMANCE

Homeless for the Holidays

Peek-A-Boo Revue

The 5K run/2.5K walk benefit run returns for a second year, helping raise money for the economically disadvantaged in our area. Participants will receive a $5 discount if they bring a new pair of gloves, socks, or thermal underwear for donation. Proceeds benefit the Pennies From Kevan Foundation, a nonprofit that provides funding to local organizations that support the homeless. | 10am. $20$35. FDR Park, Pattinson and Broad sts. homelessfortheholidays.org

The Slay Belles of Peek-A-Boo Revue are back to rock the holidays with good tidings and naughty sightings.

Put the bump in your holiday grind as the ladies peel their stockings while the band is a-rocking. Kick the carols to the curb and shred with the PeekA-Boo Revue. | 8pm. $25. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive.com

STAGE

PERFORMANCE

PARTY

The Carols

Mayhem and Mistletoe

Christmas 1949, war is raging, while here at home a group of neighbors gathers to make the most of what they have. This theatrical production is a heartfelt and hopeful comedy with music that examines making something right with all the wrong people. | Through Dec. 31. $28-$45.

Martha Graham Cracker’s Soulstice Special

SExSE Closing Exhibition and Holiday Sale Enjoy a Christmas holiday sale at Southeast By Southeast. Artists Laura Deutch, Catzle Vilayphonh, and Shira Wallinsky planned the festival over the past 10 months with local artists to show off community made videos, clothing, and artistic drawings all for your viewing pleasure. | 2pm.

Free. Lincoln Financial Mural Arts Center, 1727-29 Mount Vernon St. muralarts.org

Celebrate the holidays with pictures with Santa and kisses under the mistletoe. Dress to impress and enter the Sexiest Santa and Ugliest Sweater contests. | 9pm. Xfinity Live! 1100 Pattinson Ave. xfinitylive.com

MONDAY, DECEMBER 19

Watch Philadelphia’s tallest lady combat the world’s shortest day with laughter and entertainment in Martha Graham Cracker’s Soulstice Special. Dito Van Reigersberg delivers a raucous performance as his alter

MUSIC

Home Alone with the Philadelphia Orchestra Catch a screening of the classic movie starring Macaulay Culkin as Kevin McCallister, an 8-year-old boy who’s accidentally left behind when his family leaves for Christmas vacation.

John Williams’s musical score will be performed live by The Philadelphia Orchestra. | 7pm. $40-$90. Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. philorch.org

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 21 STAGE

The Calamari Sister’s Winter Sausagefest Celebrate the holidays with two brassy broads from Brooklyn as they sing, dance, and cook delicious eats for you and your friends. Learn secret family recipes, eat some sausage and peppers, and listen as the Sisters sing their own renditions of Broadway favorites. | Dec. 21-22. $45-$65. Penn’s Landing Playhouse, 211 S. Columbus Blvd. plplayhouse.com

PHILLYWEEKLY.COM

Cancer is Ugly!

ego Martha Graham Cracker to get people through the darkest day of the year. | 8pm. $14-$35. FringeArts, 140 N. Columbus Blvd. facebook.com/ MarthaGrahamCracker

MUSIC

DECEMBER 14-21, 2016

holiday-inspired GayBINGO! Hosted by the Bingo Verifying Divas, the games raise funds for HIV and AIDS services in the Philadelphia region.

Guests are encouraged to bring a toy that will be donated to the less fortunate. | 7pm. $25-$30. Gershman Y. 401 S. Broad St. aidsfundphilly.org

COMEDY

Real Cops Whatcha gonna do when they dub for you? The long-lived television show about real-life police officers gets a makeover from local comedians. Host Pete Steele and friends are removing the original audio from previously-aired episodes and replacing it with their own improvised dialogue. | 10pm. $5. Good Good Comedy Theatre, 215 N. 11th St. goodgoodcomedy.com

HOLIDAY

Christmas Village Come see and buy gifts by some of our areas most industrious crafters. | Through Dec. 27. City Hall, 1500 Market St. philachristmas.com 17

DECEMBER 14-21, 2016

SAVAGE LOVE: DAN SAVAGE

Slouching Toward 2017

PHILLYWEEKLY.COM

P

erhaps you’re not the best person to ask, being a cis white man, but as a queer woman of color, the election had a detrimental effect on my relationships with my white partners. I love and care for them, but looking at those results has me wondering why the fuck they didn’t do better in reaching out to their shitty relatives? I’m sick of living at the whim of white America. I’m aware this is the blame stage of processing, but it’s left me unable to orgasm with my white partners. I’m really struggling with what Trump means for me and others who look like me. I know my queer white partners aren’t exempt from the ramifications of this, but I wish they had done better. — Devastated Over National Election

First and most importantly, DONE, you don’t have to fuck anyone you don’t wanna fuck—period, the end, fin, full stop, terminus—but we owe it to ourselves to be thoughtful about who we’re fucking, who we aren’t, and why.

Data isn’t a turn-on for most people, and I’m not suggesting the data I’m about to cite obligates you to fuck anyone. But queer voters (a group that includes millions of people of color) didn’t just reject Trump, they did so by wider margins than some communities of color (groups that include millions of queers). While 14 percent of LGBT voters backed Trump, 28 percent of Latino voters and 19 percent of Asian-American voters backed Trump. (Only 8 percent of African Americans voted for Trump.) The shitty and unfathomable votes of some POC—and some queers (WTF, 14 percenters?)— doesn’t get your white partners off the orgasm-killing hook. It’s possible your white queer partners didn’t do enough to persuade their families back in Clinton County, Iowa, to vote against hatred, fascism, racism, and Trump.

Like you, I’m struggling with what this election means. I’m not going to tell you what to do, or who to do, or how to process the election. I am going to tell you 18 to talk with all your partners about your

fears and your anger, and I encourage you to do whatever and whoever feels right going forward.

If the GOP can send a huge prick like Donald J. Trump to the White House, why can’t we send our own pricks? My modest proposal: a coordinated effort to send thousands of dildos to Trump on January 21—enough dildos to make news and get under his thin skin. This coordinated effort would be supplied and vetted by responsible, women-friendly sex shops with a portion of the proceeds going to Planned Parenthood, LGBT charities, and the ACLU. —Donald Is Loathsomely, Disastrously Outrageous I like the way your mind works, DILDO, but your plan would result in good dildos going to waste. So perhaps we should do a dildo version of the ice-bucket-challenge thing instead? You gift a dildo to someone through a cooperating, womanfriendly, progressive sex-toy shop, and that person gifts a dildo to someone else, and so on. A portion of the proceeds goes to groups fighting Trump’s agenda and a card gets sent to Trump letting him know a dildo was gifted to a deserving orifice in his name. Nearly 100,000 people have made donations to Planned Parenthood in Mike Pence’s name since the election, and that’s made news. This could too, DILDO. If someone wants to run with this idea, I’ve purchased the URL marchofdildos. com. Get in touch, show me your plan, and I’ll gift the URL to you.

My wife enjoys being submissive and getting spanked. A few weeks ago, she asked to put that part of our sex play on hold.

The ugliness of Trump’s sexual aggressions made her feel strange. We joked about the fun we’d have after the election. Well, here we are, and that asshole and his misogyny are going to be front and center for the next four years. How do we get back to being us? —Upsetting News Sincerely Unnerves Best Spouse Voting rights, health care, public education, legal pot, police reform, a habitable planet, LGBT equality, our undocumented friends, coworkers, and lovers—the Trump misadministration is going to take so much from us, UNSUBS. We can’t let them take our kinks, too. Encourage your wife to feel the shit out of her feelings and don’t pressure her or rush her— and if she needs to put spanking on hold for the next four years, I wouldn’t blame her and you shouldn’t shame her. In the meantime, UNSUBS, maybe spanking your ass would make her feel better?

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MECHANICS---

DECEMBER 14-21, 2016

REAL ESTATE LISTINGS

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ADULT SERVICES Adult Miscellaneous

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Health & Wellness Issue

January 7, 2017

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To Advertise in this issue contact Deidre Simms dsimms@philadelphiaweekly.com or call 215.564.7400

Holiday s: Deadline ISSUE DATE DECEMBER 29, 2016 Philadelphia Weekly ROP and Classified Display Thurs., Dec. 22nd at Noon Class. Line Ads Thurs., Dec. 22nd 1pm South Philly Review ROP and Classified Display Thurs., Dec. 22nd at Noon Class. Line Ads Thurs., Dec. 22nd 1pm

ISSUE DATE JANUARY 5, 2017 Philadelphia Weekly ROP and Classified Display Thurs., Dec. 29th at Noon Class. Line Ads Thurs., Dec. 29th 1pm South Philly Review ROP and Classified Display Thurs., Dec. 29th at Noon Class. Line Ads Thurs., Dec. 29th 1pm Deadlines are for both space and copy reservations and will be strictly adhered to.

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DECEMBER 14-21, 2016

THINKING OF SELLING? THINKING OF BUYING?

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200 CHRISTIAN ST #12 $475,000 QUEEN VILLAGE

124 CATHARINE ST UNIT #B $275,000 QUEEN VILLAGE

1918 WEBSTER ST $575,000 GRADUATE HOSPITAL

Gorgeous bi-level 3BD/ 3.5BA townhome style condominium with 1-car assigned parking in a 18411904 schoolhouse turned into condos located in a charming Queen Village location. This is one of 12 units, and 1 of 4 with its own private entrance off the beautifully landscaped courtyard. Wide openly laid out living room, dining room and kitchen featuring two light transoms, double window, hardwood flooring, maple cabinetry, stainless steel appliances, bar counter and large pantry closet.

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The second floor features an den, office or second bedroom with closet. The master suite occupies the entire third floor, complete with vaulted wood beam ceilings, closet, an en-suite bathroom and a deck overlooking the courtyard!

Stunning new 3BD/2BA Graduate Hospital home featuring 3-stories, full roof deck, deck off of master suite and a rear yard. Amazing finishes and attention to detail throughout. Architectural staircase, light transoms above each bedroom, exposed brick, custom woodwork, iron railings and more. State of the art kitchen with granite counter-tops, granite island with double rainfall granite sides that stretch from the top of the counter to the floor, stainless steel appliances, tiled backsplash and gorgeous cabinets.

403 S 21ST ST $625,000 RITTENHOUSE SQUARE

343 N FRONT ST UNIT #B OLD CITY

$500,000

850 N 4TH ST 4 $645,000 NORTHERN LIBERTIES

Impeccably well-maintained 3BD/2BA home in the ever-desirable Rittenhouse Square, complete with handsome unique façade, beautiful refinished wood parquet floors throughout, fantastic rear yard, den, 2 Juliet balconies and more! This home begins with a wide open living and dining room with a non-working fireplace with marble mantle and a front window. The kitchen offers a tile floor, tile backsplash and opens onto a lovely breakfast area with a brilliant floor to ceiling window plus double sliding doors.

Spectacular new construction condo building in Old City with parking, 10-year tax abatement, lux finishes and the best roof deck views in the city!! The waterfront and bridge views are jaw-droppers! Wake up and gaze at boats docked in the lovely marina. More features include amazing kitchens with Bosch appliances, granite countertops and tiled backsplashes, wide plank hardwood floors throughout, iron railing systems and extra-large windows and sliding doors leading to decks overlooking the water.

Brand new construction, 3-4BD/3.5BA in the heart of Northern Liberties. On the second floor you’ll find the wide open main living and dining space with wood flooring and walk-in closet. The beautiful, contemporary chef’s kitchen. Behold the spacious master bedroom suite, occupying the entire fourth floor, and featuring a balcony and two walk-in closets. The finished lower level makes a great den or 4th bedroom. Also features a garage and tax abatement.

WEEKLY MORTGAGE RATES

TERRIFIC LARGE HOME IN THE MEREDITH SCHOOL DISTRICT Stunning artistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s home, 3300 sq ft, running street to street with garage and fabulous indoor garden. Sun-lit slate entrance features beautiful garden-art installation, leading to sunken living area with exposed brick, high ceilings, gas ďŹ replace, and original wood ďŹ&#x201A;oors.

Up to beautifully trimmed dining room with skylight and west-facing window, charming powder room off hallway. Kitchen great-room is a country-style gem with Italian tile, antique cabinets, spacious island, and Viking /Bosch appliances. Bright eating nook and sitting area open to the enchanting indoor garden art installation, with fountain, gorgeous greenery, and numerous temperature and light-control features. Garage with potting bench and ample storage. Second ďŹ&#x201A;oor rear features spacious bedroom/ofďŹ ce, a lovely laundry room, and gorgeous new full bath. Master suite 2nd ďŹ&#x201A; front has its own sitting room and beautiful en suite. Third ďŹ&#x201A;oor offers 2 bedrooms, 4 large hall closets, and huge full bath. On the fourth ďŹ&#x201A;oor is the spacious, sunny art studio, with skylights, vaulted ceilings, and cozy Franklin stove.

Basement houses mechanicals, irrigation, water ďŹ lters, and generous work space with SS sink, cabinets, and storage. Meredith Catchment.

Presented by Prudential Savings Bank

30YR Fixed Rate Mortgage Rate 4.375% APR 4.409% Rates as of December 12, 2016 10:00 AM. *APR= Annual Percentage Rate. Rates subject to change daily (including same day). For real time rates, please call 215-755-1500. The rate you receive may be higher based on credit score, mortgage loan-to-value ratio and other loan factors. Please call for Jumbo Rates (above $417,000). Subject to credit approval. Property insurance required. Loan to values from 80% to 97% require PMI (Private Mortgage Insurance). Other costs and fees may apply. Monthly P&I payment of $1323.11 based on a $265,000.00 loan amount, 360-month term, assumed credit score of 740 & loan-to-value of 80%. *P&I= Principal and Interest. These payments do not include amounts for taxes and insurance premiums; actual payment will be greater. NMLS #518005

DECEMBER 14-21, 2016

826 S. FRONT STREET QUEEN VILLAGE

R E A L E S TAT E

$1,100,000

Kathy Conway

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Patrick Conway

WHAT TO DO | WHERE TO GO | WHERE TO LIVE | WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S UP NEXT WHAT TO DO | WHERE TO GO | WHERE TO LIVE | WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S UP NEXT WHAT TO DO | WHERE TO GO | WHERE TO LIVE | WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S UP NEXT

Senior Mortgage Loan Originator - NMLS# 785395

mlynch@fcloans.com www.fcloans.com/mlynch Contact me today!

9 /.80(, *('/4+ (1/ 9 777 *(',1/).1&03 (1/ /.80(,

First Choice Loan Services Inc. (NMLS# 210764) a wholly owned subsidiary of First Choice Bank (NMLS# 177877) is located at 729 Grove Ave, Suite 7, Southampton, PA 18966.

First Choice Loan Services Inc. is registered or exempt from state licensing in the states it originates mortgage loans. Licensed by the NJ Department of Banking and Insurance. AZ BK# 0918586. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is not an agency of the federal government and is not afďŹ liatedwith your current lender. All loans are subject to credit approval. Programs, rates, terms and conditions are current, but are subject to change and may expire without notice.

Other restrictions may apply. All applications must be submitted in writing. This advertisement is not a loan disclosure and all disclosures provided after applying should be reviewed carefully.

This is not a commitment to provide a loan approval or a speciďŹ c interest rate. 03.11.2016

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