Philly Weekly 12-2-2015

12.03.15 -12.09.15

Y A D I L HO S G N I N E P P HA

phillyweekly.com | December 3 - 9, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 3

IN THIS ISSUE:

10 Food Stargazy redefines Brit cuisine

12 FeaTUre Can’t-miss holiday events

18 oPinion Surviving the holidays

20 CoMedY Dan Soder likes Mike and Ike

22 MUsiC Paper Kites head to MilkBoy

24 TiMaree’s BodY RIP American Gay Bar

25 savaGe love Granny gets down 26 ClassiFied 28 real esTaTe

CONNECT WITH US! Facebook: Philly Weekly Twitter: @phillyweekly instagram: @phillyweekly

Jay sterin General manager Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 163 jay@phillyweekly.com

Jacqueline rupp Editor-in-chief jacqueline@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyjackie

anastasia Barbalios Managing editor anastasia@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyweekly

PHILLY WEEKLY 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400.

Classified: 215.354.3054

RPM PHILLY, LLC Publisher Perry Corsetti Philly Weekly is published Wednesday by RPM Philly, LLC, 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400. Distributed in Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery & Chester counties in Pennsylvania and selected other locations in southern New Jersey. Philly Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into a newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the management. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising. Contents copyright © 2015 by Philly Weekly. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

Philly now

WHaT To do in & aroUnd THe CiTY • MORE AT PHILLYWEEKLY.COM Tell us about your upcoming events! Email info to managing editor Anastasia Barbalios at: events@phillyweekly.com

aniMals

Family Fun For a Good Cause

B

enefiting local families battling cancer, The Jingle Fest Holiday Craft Bazaar and Family Fun Festival comes back to the City of Brotherly Love for another year of excitement this holiday season! Bring your family, friends and doggies to Philadelphia’s biggest family fundraiser and help raise awareness and support local organizations from 10am to 3pm this Saturday. A whopping 100 percent of the money raised will benefit Horse Power for Life, a non-profit organization in Chester County that provides a 16-week therapeutic horsemanship program for men, women and children diagnosed with cancer.

A rain or shine inside event, all participants will receive a pink horseshoe magnet and dogs will receive pink bandanas to set the mood for the cause. Pets are extremely encouraged but all dogs must be on leashes at all times. Owners are also responsible for picking up after their doggie friends. Feeling a little sad that you don’t have a four-legged best friend to be your plus one? Here’s some good news: Jingle Fest also offers dog adoptions!

4 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

Free to attend, the only cost this Saturday will be $10 per child for the wide variety of kid’s activities. The little ones will have the chance to paint a real horseshoe (and also have their faces painted), create a holiday craft, enjoy some sandy candy, moon bounce and much more. And of course, Santa Claus himself will also be attending. A prime time family fun, adults are encouraged to check out and enjoy the many food concessions as well as the numerous vendors and crafters.

Interested in selling your stuff? Any and all types of vendors are wanted this year. From antiques and collectibles to commercial vendors, Jingle Fest offers a 55,000-square-foot space with one 8-foot table for each stand. Find out more information on the festival’s official website. —Marina Pedrosa

Sat., Dec. 12, 10am. Free, $10 for kids activities. Greater Philadelphia Expo Center, Hall C, 100 Station Avenue, Oaks. horsepowerforlife.org

THE BRIAN SETZER ORCHESTRA 12TH ANNUAL CHRISTMAS ROCKS! TOUR

NOVEMBER 21 AN EVENING WITH

KENNY “BABYFACE” EDMONDS DECEMBER 11

ALTON BROWN LIVE EAT YOUR SCIENCE

APRIL 22

Tickets on sale at Visit ticketmaster.com or call 1-800-745-3000.

255934_4.9375x10.875_4c_Ad_V1.indd 1

phillyweekly.com | December 3 - 9, 2015 | Philly Weekly |5 10/27/15 9:54 AM

Dorrance Dance (Photo by Ian Douglas)

WedNeSday, dec. 2

Friday, dec. 4

da Nce

eV e NT

SHOPP i NG

Dozens of brave individuals will be taking the freezing plunge at an above ground pool at Drexel University to raise money and awareness for Special Olympics Pennsylvania athletes and programs. 5-7pm. Free. Drexel Univer-

Celebrate opening night of this pop-up shop dedicated to highlighting and selling the wares of 30 local artists.

Cocktails and hors d’oeuvres will be served. 6pm-8pm. Free. Through Dec.

dorrance dance

Tap luminary Michelle Dorrance directs this contemporary and urban dance performance, making its Philadelphia debut. The piece features street, club and experimental dance forms, while paying homage to tap. 8pm. $42-$57. Prince

Theater, 1412 Chestnut St. 215.422.4580. princetheater.org ST yL e

Fashion & Sound

Get ready for the change of season with this winter fashion show featuring designers and boutiques from all over Philadelphia, including Urban Princess and OxyMoron, plus a special guest appearance by Cory Wade of America’s Next Top Model. Proceeds benefit St. Christopher’s Foundation for Children. 7pm. $10-15.

SoundGarden Hall, 520 N. Columbus Blvd. soundgardenhall.com

Philadelphia Polar Plunge

sity Recreation Center, 3301 Market St. specialolympicspa.org

20. University City Arts League, 4226 Spruce St. ucartsleague.org

arT

eVeNT

PaFa’s 22nd annual Student Print Sale

THurSday, dec. 3

Support emerging artists while finding the perfect holiday gift for the art-lover in your life. 5:30-8:30pm. Free. Samuel

TaLK

M.V. Hamilton Building, 128 N. Broad St. pafa.org/events

archiving Protest in the era of #BlackLivesMatter

Museum futurist and American Council of Learned Societies Public Fellow Nicole Ivy discusses the collection of cultural objects—including artwork, performance pieces and media work—that have been produced by #BlackLivesMatter protesters. 12:30pm. Penn Museum, 3260 South St. 215.898.4000. penn.museum

FaSHi ON

an evening of Style and Grace Fashion Show Fundraiser

Kenneth and Faatimah Gamble present this fashion show featuring two designers that represent polished elegance and classic Philadelphia—Frank Agostino and Boyds Philadelphia. Proceeds benefit the Pearls of Wisdom & Boys to Men Program. 6-8:30pm. University of the Arts, 320 S. Broad St. universalfashionshow.org 6 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

university city arts League craft Show

ParT y

ViP Grand Opening Party at Tap & Kitchen

Two parties in one! From 6-7pm, enjoy a select open bar at the grand opening of Tap & Kitchen. From 10pm to midnight, your first drink is free. Drink specials, light food and DJ Entertainment all night. 5pm. Tap & Kitchen,

1420 Locust St. tapandkitchenphilly.com

Magic, Spectacle and Science

Enjoy a little nerdy fun with a throwback to the 19th Century, back when science was the life of the party. Demonstrations of things like the wonders of electricity and laughing gas were common entertainment. 5-8pm. Free.

Chemical Heritage Foundation, 315 Chestnut St. chemheritage.org STaGe

Menopause the Musical

An all-female cast stars in this hilarious musical that makes light of woeful hot flashes, forgetfulness and mood swings. Through Dec. 20. Penn’s Land-

ing Playhouse, 211 S. Columbus Blvd.

phillyweekly.com | December 3 - 9, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 7

PHILLY NOW SaturdaY, december 5 beNeFIt

WIN UNLIMITED YOGA! One winner will be selected at random to win FREE unlimited hot yoga for the rest of 2015

Visit: phillyweekly.com/contests to enter No purchase necessary

toy 2015

The Delaware Valley Legacy Fund hosts its 9th annual holiday fundraising event, raising money to support organizations serving the LGBTQ community. Bring a toy for donation and enjoy a night of food and dancing along with a silent auction. Donated toys will be given to for patients in the Special Immunology Service at CHOP as well as children served by ActionAIDS. 7pm. Fire & Ice, 312 Market St.

267.273.1003. dvlf.org

1520 Sansom St. 3rd Flr 215.977.9642 bikramphiladelphia.com

Join the 10-year celebration of the Humane League’s efforts to reduce animal suffering. Hear inspiring speakers, bid on amazing prices in the silent auction and enjoy delicious drinks and vegan appetizers. 7pm. $25-$60. Goldilocks Gal-

From the creative minds of Comic Energy, this live sketch comedy show combines your favorite late night TV show and the best Philly comedians. 7pm. Free. L’Etage, 624 S. 6th

Poetry, Stories and memoir

St. comicenergy.com

Project moshen

The all-female modern Jazz dance company puts on a holiday fundraising show featuring Putty Dance and Justsole. A portion of the proceeds will benefit Toys for Tots. 8pm. $10.

readING

Supporting writers and the literary arts in the Philadelphia area, listen to Marion Cannon Dornel read from her debut collection, Unicorn in Captivity, and Lynn Hoffman read from his memoir, Radiation Days. 7pm. Free. Chestnut Hill

Gallery, 8117 Germantown Avenue. musehousecenter.com Pa rt Y

Wonderland ball

P e r FO r m a N c e

An extravagant evening of Mad Hatter fun and fundraising to celebrate the 150th anniversary of Lewis Carroll’s mind-bending classic Alice in Wonderland. 9pm. $100-$125.

Philadelphia’s premiere night of 1950s entertainment,

Skyline Terrace at Parkway Central Library, 1901 Vine St. freelibrary.org

Ballroom Philadelphia, 1316 S. Ninth St. projectmoshen.com

celeste Giuliano’s Pin-up Peep Show

SuNdaY, december 6 Fire behind the Gates

Philadelphia

Pa rt Y

Humane League 10th anniversary Gala

lery, 723 Chestnut St. thehumaneleague.com

Not Your typical comedy Show

P e r FO r m a N c e

BIKGRAM YOGA

Garden. pinuppeepshow.com

c O m e dY

da N c e

INTRO MONTH 30 DAYS FOR ONLY $30!

brought to you by Celeste Giuliano Photography. Featuring amazing performances, live rock n’ roll, retro cocktails and beautiful pin-ups. 7pm. $20-$25. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring

The Philadelphia Spin Coalition (SPinCo) presents a holiday fire spectacle at Philadelphia’s most historic burial grounds with guest performer Terry Fields, featured fire breather in the new Rocky movie, Creed. Fire performers will illuminate iconic burial grounds with our ancestors’ most ancient ritual, fire dancing.

5:30-7:30pm. Laurel Hill Cemetery, 3822 Ridge Ave. spinco.org eVeNt

Vapor expo

Whether you’re an expert vape enthusiast or a beginner ready to join the juice line, this will be an exciting day of new people, prizes and the best flavors in the industry. Try some of the newest and most exclusive e-liquids and expand your knowledge with seminars based around coil building and re-wicking methods. 11am-

4pm. $20. Greater Philadelphia Expo Center, 100 Station Ave, Oaks. unitedvaporexpo.com ruN

Jack daniel’s Hot toddy 5k

Race for a drink at this 5K that starts at XFINITY Live!, and loops around Citizen’s Bank Park and the Wells Fargo Center. Racers will receive an exclusive long-sleeved race shirt, insulated Jack Daniel’s mug and free Hot Toddy. 10:30am.

XFINITY Live! Philadelphia. 1100 Pattison Ave. xfinitylive.com 8 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

Monday, deceMber 7 readInG

Time Is on our Side by r. eric Thomas

In cooperation with the Simpatico Theatre Project, this Philadelphia centric-podcast will delve into Philly’s LGBT history and explore some troubling implications. 6:30pm.

Free. The Mark Segal Ballroom at the William Way LGBT Community Center. 1315 Spruce Street. playpenn.org

TUeSday, deceMber 8 STaGe

Hans brinker and the Silver Skates

Family-friendly production about children competing in an ice skating competition, where the winner will receive a shiny pair of silver skates. Hans and his sister will try to beat the competition using their less expensive wooden skates. Through Jan. 31.

Arden Theatre, 40 N. Second St. ardentheatre.org aUTHor

Jason Gay: Little Victories

The Wall Street Journal sports columnist—known for his side bits of knowledge and quirky humor—offers commentary on some of life’s unexpected moments and challenges. 7:30pm. Free. Central Library, 1901 Vine St. freelibrary.org

WedneSday, deceMber 9 Ken Ludwig’s Baskerville: A Sherlock Holmes Mystery (Photo by Mark Garvin)

STaGe

Ken Ludwig’s baskerville: a Sherlock Holmes Mystery Directed by Amanda Dehnert, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s timeless classic comes to life in this hilarious comedy thriller. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson must crack the mystery of “The Hound of the Baskervilles” before a family curse dooms its newest heir. Through

Dec. 27. Suzanne Roberts Theatre. 480 S. Broad St. philadelphiatheatrecompany.org

phillyweekly.com | December 3 - 9, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 9

FOOD & DRINK

| By Brian Freedman

And Now For Something Completely Different

B

PHILADELPHIA’S FIRST & BEST

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THE GIFT THAT LASTS FOREVER. SAVE

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ON ALL GIFT CARDS purchased by December 25th of $100 or more.

10 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

ack in 1979, a harried school teacher with a thick Scottish accent shouted what would become one of the most iconic lines in rock history at a group of students: “If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding! How can you have any pudding, if you don’t eat yer meat?”

That exhortation, that accusation and warning, summed up not just the nature of the British education system that Pink Floyd was railing against, but came to embody the stereotype that used to define British food for so many of us. Why, the old image of that culinary heritage had us believe, would anyone want to eat British-style food as it was reputed to have been: Often boiled, usually devoid of flavor and reliably joyless.

That stereotype, of course, has nothing to do with reality these days. The food scene in London is electrically exciting, and I’ve had great meals throughout England and Scotland, from posh restaurants to tumbledown pubs, whenever I’ve been lucky enough to visit. But a certain stigma remains when it comes to how we perceive many of the classics of British cooking. Even today, I often hear otherwise intelligent, worldly people refer to British food with a sneer and a snivel.

To them, I’d say this: Run—don’t walk—to Stargazy, Chef Sam Jacobson’s soul-nourishing refutation to all of that. Tucked into a tiny storefront on East Passyunk, I recently ambled in on a chilly, overcast Saturday afternoon and immediately the shiver in my bones was chased away by the smell of warm butter on pie crust, of grated nutmeg hanging in the air, of meat and onions and potatoes all mingling in a scent that was deeply, unselfconsciously comforting.

Jacobson has, with this decidedly unpretentious spot (soccer played on the television up above and a mug of tea is listed on the menu as costing “nuffink, nada, zilch”), very quickly made Philadelphians all over the city and beyond believers in the glories of old-school English kitchen magic.

Traditional beef and onion pie, inside its deliriously butter-rich crust, was a vessel for moist and onion-perfumed ground meat— fantastic on its own and even better when scooped through the parsley liquor poured around it, which pooled deliciously around the generous mound of mashed potatoes as well. Sausage roll was anchored by a grind of pork, all tender and hearty; it reminded me of a some sort of cousin to a hot dog, but, of course, that butter-singing pastry (made, like them all, in-house) added a whole other dimension. It was fantastic chased with forkfuls of leafy, tender broccoli spigarello (usually served with cheddar but in this case ordered unadorned). Cornish pasty could have warmed even the coldest heart. I just wish I had brought along a few bottles of bitter ale to sip alongside it all. Next time I will.

StaRgazy

1838 E. Passyunk Ave. Cuisine type: British Pie-O-Centric.

Price range: Under $9.

If you want to branch out of your comfort zone, make sure to check out the eels—available either jellied or stewed—which, if you can get over any initial hesitation, I strongly recommend. My bowlful of stewed beauties, tender nubs of meat on the eel-bone inside their gelatinous skin, reminded me, in terms of flavor, of marinated Portuguese sardines.

Hit with a dash of malt vinegar, it’s all too easy to eat the entire bowl before even realizing it. Get over the gross-out issue and order this immediately. It’s stunning.

Then there’s the tongue-in-cheek pie, which, yes, is exactly what it sounds like: A pie filled with the deeply holy marriage of beef tongue and pig face. Hearty and sweet and earthy all at once, this proved to be an excellent lunch the next day—you can get the pies to go, and heating them up in the oven not only provides for a fantastic meal, but it also makes your house smell amazing.

I had also intended on bringing home a bit of leftover sticky toffee pudding prior to ordering it—this was a classic case of I’ll-just-take-a-few-bites-now-and-savethe-rest-for-later delusion—but that never happened. Warmed through, anointed with heavy cream, and dusted with fresh grated nutmeg, this was heady and sweet and perfumed and perfect. And it was also finished before I realized what had happened.

So: You can’t have any pudding unless you eat yer meat? Not a problem at Stargazy, where you’ll not only want to eat yer meat first, but probably second and third helpings of it to boot. And then you’ll force-feed yourself some dessert there, too, no matter how full you already are. As well you should.

Stargazy is a revelation. n

SUMMER IS ONLY A FEW MONTHS AWAY START TODAY

phillyweekly.com | December 3 - 9, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 11

Christmas Village (Russ Brown Photography)

HoLidaY HaPPeninGS

Get Your Jolly On

I

t’s that time of year again—December—when Philadelphia decks its halls and overloads its social calendar with as many holiday parties, bazaars and light shows as there are pilfered presents on the Grinch’s overstuffed sleigh. Feeling a bit overwhelmed? We do too. That’s why we devised this handy dandy guide to some of the city’s must-go-to holiday events. If only your gift shopping could run so smoothly…

dec. 13-20: december at The Colonial. Head to the Colonial Theater to check out classic holiday flicks, including White Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life, The Nutcracker and more. $6-$10. The Colonial Theater, 227 Bridge St, Phoenixville. thecolonialtheatre.com

dec. 17-20: The Skivvies: naughty or nice. New York’s favorite undie-rockers hurry down our chimney to serve up some wacky holiday cheer. 7pm. $25. Kimmel

Center, 300 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org

Break TradiTion

GeT LiT

Pub of Atlantic City, the Resorts Casino Hotel hosts the second annual Swing Into Christmas, featuring music, magic and live entertainment to benefit the Marine Corps Toys for Tots program. Resorts Casino, 1133 Boardwalk,

joy the gorgeous lights of the model trains and more—including sweets from Bredenbeck’s Bakery and a special appearance from the Sugar Plum Fairy from George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker. $3-$16. Mor-

dec 4: Swing into Christmas. Sponsored by The Irish

Atlantic City, N.J. resortsac.com

dec. 11-13: Philly nutt Crak-Up. ContempraDANCE Theatre’s hilarious holiday dance spoof returns, featuring the Rappin’ SugarPlum Fairy, battling Hip Hoppin’ Rats, City Hall Dolls, Captain Philadelphia and Liberty Belle-Anne. Painted Bride, 230 Vine St. paintedbride.org

dec. 4, 11 & 18: Friday night Lights. En-

ris Arboretum, 100 E. Northwestern Ave. 215.247.5777. morrisarboretum.org

dec. 12: Parade of Lights. The Independence Seaport

features 26 heartwarming scenes from Scrooge. Don’t miss the Christmas Light Show, lighting up the store every two hours. Macy’s Center City, 1300 Market St.

215.241.9000. visitmacysusa.com

Through dec. 31: Franklin Square Holiday Festival & electrical Spectacle. Hop aboard the Lightning Bolt Express for a special holiday train ride or shop in the Holiday Market for gifts for everyone on your list.

Franklin Square, Sixth and Race sts. 215.629.4026. historicphiladelphia.org

Through Jan. 3, 2016: The Comcast Holiday Spectacular. Now in its sixth year, the Comcast Center’s lobby offers an unparalleled visual experience via one of the world’s highest resolution LED displays. The 15-minute show features Philadelphia dancers, ice skaters and performers, as well as animated penguins. Comcast Center,

1701 John F. Kennedy Blvd. comcast.com

For THe kiddoS

dec. 5: Philadelphia orchestra Christmas kid’s Spectacular. Local

dec. 12, 19, & 31: Laurel Hill Cemetery Presents.

lumbus Blvd. 215.413.8655. phillyseaport.org

actors and dancers from the Rock School for Dance Education liven up this seasonal sing-along. And you-know-who drops by, too. 11:30am. $19-$47. Kimmel Center,

Join the Laurel Hill Cemetery for some themed ghost tours, including the birthday celebration of General George G. Meade and Laurel Hill Yuletide Connections.

Through dec. 31: Macy’s Christmas Village and Light Show. A beloved Philadelphia tradition for 20

dec. 12: PeCo Presents: Winter Wonderland.

$5-$15. 3822 Ridge Avenue. thelaurelhillcemetery.org 12 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

museum will light up the Delaware River with its annual Parade of Lights, complete with holiday themed activities for the whole family. Free with admission. 211 S. Co-

years, the 6,000-square-foot walk-through experience

300 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org Children 10 and under are invited to enjoy a magical

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HOLiDAy HAPPeNiNGS Through feb. 28, 2016: Rothman Skating Rink. Got

evening of winter fun, including ice carving and live music. $10. Smith Playground, 3500 Reservoir Drive.

mittens? Already had cocoa? Then its time to glide to City Hall for some ice skating. The rink will be open throughout the holiday season, offering classes for skating novices. Dilworth Park, 15th and Market sts. ccdparks.org/

215.765.4325. smithplayground.org

Dec. 17-20: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer The Musical. The beloved TV classic soars off the screen and

dilworth-park/rothmanicerink

onto the stage this holiday season. $30-$70. Kimmel Cen-

ter, 300 S. Broad St. 215.893.1999. kimmelcenter.org

O DRuNkeN NiGHT

Dec. 25: Being [ ] at Christmas. The National Muse-

Dec. 12: Running of the Santas. Shake off the season’s chill, don St. Nick’s red suit, round up your road dawgs, and join the most festive run of the year as people in 25 states across the country take part in an annual pub crawl. The three-block trek to the North Pole (the Electric Factory) takes place at 4pm and kicks off an all-day festival featuring live music, cheap beer, holiday decorations and more. 10am.

um of American Jewish History invites families to fill in the blank during the holidays with their annual familyfriendly party featuring music, games, and more. 101 S

Independence Mall East. nmajh.org

GeT GifTy

Dec. 5-6, 19-20: Mt. Airy Art Garage Holiday Market. Artists fill the

Electric Factory, 7th and Willow sts. runningofthesantas. ticketleap.com

5,000-square-foot gallery in Northwest Philly with hand-crafted items made by woodworkers, sculptors, painters, leather crafters, jewelers, fiber artists and more. Noon–6pm. Free. 11 W.

Dec. 16: Spirits and Suds Holiday Bar Crawl. Get into jolly good spirit by visiting 17 East Passyunk bars serving holiday ales and merry cocktails. 5:30pm. Vari-

Mt. Airy Ave. 215.242.5074. mtairyartgarage.org

ous locations. visiteastpassyunk.com

Dec. 5-6: NoLibs Holiday Shopping Spree.

The more stores you spend money in at the Holiday Shopping Spree, the bigger discounts you get—so grab your walking shoes, and get ready to spend less. Participating stores include Art Star, Casa Papel, Swag Boutique and Jinxed Philly. 11am. Pay as you go. Various locations,

Through Dec. 17: Tippler’s Tour yuletide Cheers & Beers. Holiday pub tour where you can drink and be merry and also learn about history. $45. Historic

Philadelphia Center, Sixth and Chestnut sts. historicphiladelphia.org/tipplers-tour/

Northern Liberties. artstarphilly.com

Dec. 17: Reindeer Romp. More than 1,500 people are expected to attend this holiday bar crawl with 12 stops in Fairmount, including Alla Spina, Fare, Bishop’s Collar and more. 6pm. $10 plus donation. Various locations.

Dec. 11-13: Punk Rock flea Market. More than 700 vendors selling clothes, art, records, bikes, furniture and more. The Punk Rock Flea Market-Dome, 461 N. Ninth

St. r5productions.com

Dec. 12: Crafty Balboa Holiday. Shop for unique and

high-quality, handmade goods for any budget. 11am.

upcomingevents.com/philadelphia Shop Casa Papel during NoLibs Holiday Shopping Spree

Free. SS Neumann Goretti High School, 1736 S. Tenth St. 215.465.8437. craftybalboa.blogspot.com

Dec. 13: Go West! Craft fest. More than 50 artists dis-

play their wares, all available for holiday purchase. 10am.

Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St. gowestcraftfest.blogspot.com

Through Dec. 27: Christmas Village. Come see—and buy—gifts by some of our area’s most industrious crafters. LOVE Park, 1500 Arch St. philachristmas.com

Through Dec. 27: Made in Philadelphia Holiday Market at Dilworth Park. The inaugural outdoor shopping fest features local artists, crafters and designers selling unique gifts and holiday foods. Dilworth Park,

15th and Market sts.

Through Dec. 31: Reading Terminal Market Holiday Railroad. Featuring a 500-square-foot holiday railroad with 14 working train lines and miniature scenery of Center City and the countryside. Reading Terminal, 51 N.

12th St. readingterminalmarket.org

NuM NuM

Dec. 6: Latkepalooza. The Gershman Y’s 13th annual Latkepalooza will feature latkes from nine of Philly’s top chefs, sweet treats

14 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

yeT ANOTHeR u.S.P.

Dec. 2: ugly Sweater Party at PMA. Pull out that ugly sweater from Ben and Jerry’s and Federal Donuts, family friendly craft activities and more. 2-4pm. $12-$20. The Gersh-

man Y, 401 S. Broad St. gershmany.org

from Aunt Bee and head to the Philadelphia Museum of Art for an evening of festive carols sung by Jessi Teich, along with yummy treats and fun activities. 5:30pm. Free with

Dec. 12: Arctic Ave.

admission. Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. philamuseum.org

and 11th St. visiteastpassyunk.com

Dec. 19: ugly Sweater Run. Wear your most hideous sweater to the least fashionable 5k of the year. After the run, indulge in hot chocolate or a Sam Adam’s winter lager. 8am. $40. Fairmount Park, 4231 Avenue of the Re-

Watch East Passyunk Avenue transform into an icy winter wonderland with live ice sculptures at restaurants including Birra, Noord, P’unk Burger, Le Vertu and more. 11am. Free. Passyunk Ave.

Dec. 24: Moo Shu Jew Show. Christmas for Jews means one thing: Chinese food. For the past seven years, Philadelphia’s members of the tribe have enjoyed this Dec. 24 tradition mixing Chinese food with Jewish comedy. 6pm. $75-$85. Ocean Harbor Restaurant, 1023

public. theuglysweaterrun.com

Race St. gershmany.org/moo-shu-jew-show

HOLiDAy CHeeR yOu CAN HeAR

STRAP ON (THOSe iCe SkATeS)

season with the city’s most treasured musical tradition.

Through March 3, 2016: Blue Cross RiverRink Winterfest. Celebrate the

holidays and embrace the cold months with an outdoor rink offering skating, s’mores, food, drink, shopping and games.

Blue Cross RiverRink, 101 S. Columbus Blvd. delawareriverwaterfront.com

Dec. 4-22: The Philly Pops Christmas Spectacular. Experience the magic of the Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org

Dec 6, 11, 13, & 17: December Live at The Colonial.

Indulge in the sounds of the holidays with special live events such as Charlie Brown Jazz: An Evening with the Eric Mintel Quartet. $6.50-$32. The Colonial Theater,

227 Bridge St., Phoenixville. thecolonialtheatre.com

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phillyweekly.com | December 3 - 9, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 15

HOLiDay HaPPeNiNGS RiverRink Winterfest (Photo by Matt Stanley)

Dec. 9: Q102 Jingle Ball. Ten powerhouse pop acts, including Calvin Harris, Selena Gomez, 5 Seconds of Summer and more. 7:30pm. $26-$176. Wells Fargo Center,

3601 S. Broad St. wellsfargocenterphilly.com

Dec. 17-20: Philadelphia Orchestra: Glorious Sound of Christmas. Bramwell Tovey returns to conduct three nights of rousing traditional tunes dotted with his own meticulous arrangements and interpretation. 7pm. $35-

$120. Verizon Hall, Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. 215.893.1999. kimmelcenter.org

Dec. 20: Tuba Christmas. Here comes the boom— delivered via 100 tuba, sousaphone and euphonium players, all as enthused about the holidays as you are. 11am.

Through Jan. 10, 2016: a Christmas Story, The Musical. Based on the classic 1983 movie, capture holiday

American Swedish Museum, 1900 Pattison Avenue.

215.389.1776. americanswedish.org

wonder with funny and heartfelt songs from the Broadway classic. $20-$95. Walnut Street Theatre, 825 Walnut St. 215.574.3550. walnutstreettheatre.org

Dec. 11- 13: Philadanco X-MaS Philes.

Through Jan. 3, 2016: Philly PHLaSH. To commemo-

ter, 300 S. Broad St. 215.893.1999. kimmelcenter.org

rate the holidays in Philly, the Philly PHLASH bus will be making stops to some of the city’s biggest holiday attractions, including Christmas Village, the Comcast Holiday Spectacular and the Macy’s Christmas Light Show. $2-

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Dec. 5: Santa Paws Saturday. Bring your camera and furry friends for a fantastic fun time with Santa himself.

Dec. 20: Free at the Kimmel: Christmas Posada.

5:30pm. Free. Sixth and Race Streets.

215.629.4026. historicphiladelphia.org

The sweet spirit of Christmas in Mexico saturates the Kimmel’s corridors, with pianist Juan Pablo Horcasitas leading the charge. 5pm. Free. Commonwealth Plaza,

Kimmel Center, 300 South Broad St. 215.893.1999. kimmelcenter.org

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Through Dec. 20: Charles Dickens’ a Christmas Carol.

The granddaddy of all holiday tales, at the granddaddy of American theaters. Various times & dates.

$12-$14. Walnut Street Theatre, 825 Walnut St. 215.574.3550. walnutstreettheatre.org 16 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

Dec. 5-20: Zoo Noel.

The Philadelphia Zoo offers a glimpse into Santa’s journey via a scavenger hunt through the rainforests, glaciers and safaris that he must travel. 11am-3pm. Free with admission. Philadelphia

Zoo, 3400 W. Girard Ave. philadelphiazoo.org

GeT CuLTureD

Dec. 5: Lucia Fest. The American Swedish Historical Museum brings the culture of Sweden to Philly with traditional cuisine, a Christmas Market and live performances. $4-$10.

The modern dance company returns with its annual dance interpretation of holiday classics. 7:30pm. $29-$46. Kimmel Cen-

Dec. 11-31: George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker. PA Ballet presents the area’s most beloved holiday tradition. $85. Academy of Music, 300 S. Broad St. 885.460.2743. paballet.org

Dec. 15: a Soulful Christmas. The Kimmel Center celebrates Christmas with a show mixing gospel favorites and Christmas tunes. 7:30pm. $26-$49 Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. 215.893.1999. kimmelcenter.org

THe LaND OF MiSFiT TOyS Dec. 12: Philly Game Forge Holiday Social. The Game Forge’s an-

nual holiday party features a rotation of Philly-made games. In order to get in, you must bring a new and unwrapped toy, which will be donated to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. 7pm. Free. Philly Game Forge, 239 Chestnut St.

phillygameforge.com

Dec. 14: Geek-mas Party. Tribble Nation takes on Full On Nerds in the Crisis of Multiple Nerds: Uncivil War. There will be games, drinks and cosplay fun. 8pm.

Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. tattooedmomphilly.com n

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Cellco Partnership and its controlled affiliates doing business as Verizon Wireless (Verizon Wireless) proposes to build a 125-foot Monopole Communications Tower. Anticipated lighting application is medium intensity dual red/white strobes. The Site location is 13430 Damar Drive, Philadelphia, Philadelphia County, PA 19116 (40, 7, 15.4 N; 75, 0, 5.4 W). The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) Antenna Structure Registration (ASR, Form 854) filing number is A0983545.

805 Sansom Street, Philadelphia PA 19107 ENVIRONMENTAL EFFECTS – Interested persons may review the application (www.fcc.gov/asr/applications) UP PERSONAL TRAINING All interested persons may file written comments in favor or by entering the filing number. Environmental concerns may be raised by filing a Request for Environmental in opposition to the application, with the: Review (www.fcc.gov/asr/environmentalrequest) and online filings are strongly encouraged. The mailing UR WORKOUTS Pawnbroker Hearing Officer address to file a paper copy is: FCC Requests for Environmental Review, Attn: Ramon Williams, 445 12th Pennsylvania Department of Banking Street SW, Washington, DC 20554. HISTORIC PROPERTIES EFFECTS ‐ Public comments regarding potential 333 Market Street, 16th Floor N 500-1000 CALORIES EACH WORKOUT Harrisburg, PA 17101-2290 effects on historic properties may be submitted within 30 days from the date of this publication to: All comments to be considered must be received byHOURS the EBI Consulting (RE: EBI #6115006359.), 6876 Susquehanna Trail South, York, PA 17403, N CALORIES UP TO 36 POST-WORKOUT Departmentwithin thirty (30) days from the date of this mgross@ebiconsulting.com, or via phone at 781-572-0698. newspaper publication.

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phillyweekly.com | December 3 - 9, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 17

HOLIDAY

by Timaree Schmit @timaree_leigh

Surviving the Holidays

M

ost of the time, I think it’s rude to keep my phone out while hanging with people. Thanksgiving is an exception. At least once during the foodsaturated day, I’ll get a text from a friend who needs a little support dealing with an eating disorder. “I had a game plan going in and stuck to it for hours, but then my folks started in on me and I ran out of willpower,” they might say. We chat until the panicked feeling subsides, and then we go back to our respective festivities.

Everybody has difficulty with moderation in the face of a gluttonous holiday smorgasbord, but for those who suffer from anorexia, bulimia or other disordered eating, it’s like an addict having to hang out next to a heroin buffet… while an aunt asks how school is going.

HOLIDAYS. YIPPEE. This is far from the only reason someone might have a rough time with holidays. Sappy milestones can highlight the pain of a recent loss or breakup, and financial frustrations are exacerbated by the costs of travel and throwing parties.

Seeing family can be rejuvenating or undo years of therapy, depending on dynamics. Maybe you find this season to be pure, unfettered joy, in which case I hope you invite me to your upcoming 8th birthday party. But if you’re one of the many folks who finds this time of year stressful, here are some tips for survival.

And remember: holidays are optional.

There might be negative reactions, sure, but the beauty of adulthood is that you can eat ice cream for breakfast, stay up as late as you want and not participate in holidays if you’re not up for it.

LET GO OF PERFECTION Goals are great; perfectionism is a guaranteed route to Bummersville, population: you and your family. When hosting, delegate responsibility (everyone likes to feel like they contributed and are useful), and don’t stress over details. People remember feeling welcome, not flawlessness. In fact, flawlessness makes a lot of people feel super uncomfortable.

BALANCE OLD AND NEW TRADITIONS We appreciate traditions that tie us to our cultures and mark the passage of time - especially if they involve mac and cheese. But “because we’ve always done it” is also a terrible reason to do something, and situations can change dramatically, making long-held practices awkward or distressing. Keep the traditions that continue to foster connection and community, ditch the ones that no longer serve you. If there are new folks joining the festivities, give them an opportunity to introduce some of their traditions. I, for instance, will be bringing the Mango-ritas and mac and cheese.

18 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

SET BOUNDARIES Not only do you decide when and where you’ll take part in the festivities, it’s equally important to have an exit strategy if family get-togethers are a source of anxiety. Even though there may be enough room at the house and it’s possible to get rides, in some cases, it makes more sense to get a hotel and rent a car. This is especially true if you’re struggling with establishing your independence or bringing a partner to meet everyone for the first time.

Know what triggers you and plan for what you’re going to do to deal. For instance: if I experience social anxiety, I make a beeline for the pets and kids (who are incredibly unlikely to make small talk) or offer my services to the host setting tables or washing dishes.

And remember to balance your need for self-care with a thought to those around you. Sacrificing your sanity to please others isn’t ok, but neither is creating drama for everyone because you and your brother have a beef dating back to the era of Zubaz. There’s no law that says you have to argue about politics across the dinner table.

STAY CONNECTED, ASK FOR HELP If you have specific anxieties stoked by the location of or situations surrounding the holidays, set up a buddy system. Identify someone ahead of time who will have the ability to support you, and ask them if they can be available. The friends who hit me up about eating concerns do so because they know my history of recovery. It’s not a lack of love for their parents or siblings, but a desire to connect with someone who, like an AA sponsor, gets the panic they feel and has worked out solutions for enduring.

The whole point of holidays is to enjoy each other’s company and celebrate. Keep that perspective, do what you can to contribute and don’t look for opportunities to be stressed. And hit me up if need be. n

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phillyweekly.com | December 3 - 9, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 19

COMEDY | by Kevin Matuszak

@KevinMatuszak

Free Dan Soder

D

an Soder has been showing up all over the place. He’s on Sirius Radio every week with his buddy Big Jay Oakerson, and you’ve probably seen him on MTV’s Guy Code. Soder will be starring alongside Paul Giamatti in the new series Billions, coming to Showtime in January.

But before that happens, he’s going to grace Philly with his presence for his first Comedy Central special at The Trocadero tomorrow (get in free with pre-registration). Since he’s been so busy, I decided to bother him while he walked the streets of New York City.

Hey Dan, how are you?

Doing great.

So, before you got into stand up, what were you doing?

I was actually in radio. I was at college in the University of Arizona, hated it. Pretty much going to school with a bunch of rich kids that have their parents’ money. So I started to hang out at the radio station, started working there and then I got into stand up.

After about two years, moved to New York and I’ve been here ever since.

So what’s the show you’re currently working on about?

Its called Billions. It’s gonna be a big show on Showtime. It’s basically about corrupt bankers and Wall Street greed. It stars Paul Giamatti and Damian Lewis. It’s gonna be a really f—ing cool show.

So you’re the comic relief?

Yeah, but I don’t know if you can call it that. I kinda am just the loud mouth in the office.

Then basically the highlight of the show, pretty much?

Haha, no, not at all. The highlight of the show is Paul and Damian. I am mere seasoning.

That’s incredible though. Congratulations. Are you in the city right now?

Yeah, exactly. A lot of comedians told me that same thing about performing in Philly. With you being a big fan of Helium, what brought you to The Troc?

We were kinda looking at venues and of course the special was supposed to be in Austin, but the logistics with the venue didn’t work out, and I asked Comedy Central, “What’s up with Philadelphia?”, and they were kinda like, “Yeah let’s see what we got in Philly” and someone brought up The Troc, and I was like “Oh yeah?” Then we got to walk around it, and the second I walked in there I was like, “Yeah, this is it.”

Were you an NWO, a Wolfpack, or a DX kind of guy?

I was definitely NWO, and not a Wolfpack NWO.

Good. I respect that. I think Konnan ruined it.

Oh yeah, absolutely. He brought a bunch of crap.

F—k, marry, kill: Sable, Chyna, Stephanie McMahon?

Ok, I got this. You kill Chyna, for obvious reasons...

Haha, have you seen her porn though?

No, and will not.

Dude, she is dressed up as The Incredible Hulk in one of them.

Yeah, I’m walking around the city.

Oh god. But yeah, kill Chyna, bang Sable, and marry Steph.

Beautiful (loud horns going off).

That’s a good business decision.

Yeah, you can hear the sirens and people screaming.

I mean, isn’t that what Triple H did?

Just like Philly! So, N.Y.C. is obviously your favorite place to perform, right?

Yeah, I love it here. Just because, I mean, there’s a lot of work and it’s where I make everything, where I write all my jokes, perform the most. I’m trying to keep getting better. Philadelphia is a city that I have always really liked. I really got to experience it when I headlined at Helium, which is one of my favorite clubs in the country.

You like Helium?

20 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

It’s such an awesome crowd. The guys that run it are awesome, they really know how to do comedy shows. What really got me was the audience. It’s just like, you’re really trying to find the right one, smart and dirty, and I feel like Philly got it perfect. Philly got that fucking old school, old money kind of intelligence with that kind of blue collar that will get ya.

Haha, that’s exactly what he did. So… marijuana! You like to get high, correct?

Yeah! Haha, hell yeah.

Alright: Indica or Sativa?

I’m a Sativa guy.

What’s your go-to candy?

Hmmm. I like Mike and Ikes; the good ol’ Reese’s; ice cream sandwiches. n

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MUSIC

|

by John n. MCGUIre

Paper Kites don’t sleep The indie folk band’s latest effort was written overnight.

A Applications due January 20, 2016

22 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

ustralian indie rock-folk band The Paper Kites play MilkBoy this week in support of their latest record, twelvefour, a concept album in which every song was written by vocalist and multi-instrumentalist Sam Bentley between the hours of midnight and 4am. Bentley became intrigued by the idea during a discussion with a friend who told him some screenwriters see those four hours of the night as the most productive and creative time for writing.

“I was looking for an idea to build the second record around and, for me, it started getting the wheel turning,” Bentley says. “I thought, that sounds really interesting. I kind of want to test that theory and see if it changes my writing in any way.”

With the go-ahead from his band, Bentley reset his sleep schedule and wrote the record over the course of two months. For Bentley, the creative process was not hindered by expectations generated by the band’s first album, 2013’s States.

“I suppose the beauty of not necessarily having a smash-hit debut record is that we didn’t really have any sort of hype to live up to,” Bentley reflects. “I think the record was allowed to be whatever it wanted to be.” twelvefour is an album with a mood reminiscent of those hours of the night—romantic, intoxicating, sometimes lonely, detached.

It departs from the sound of the band’s previous work with a guitar-driven ‘80s vibe, evident in the first two singles, “Electric Indigo” and “Revelator Eyes,” but maintains enough of the familiar dual singer-songwriter folk style to honor the band’s roots. The artists Bentley was listening to during the writing process helped to inspire this shift in style.

“I was listening to a lot of The Cure and a lot of Roxy Music… Even artists like Nick Drake and Nick Cave, great storytellers,” Bentley says. “It was kinda going straight through me and probably influencing me subconsciously to put out these weird ‘80s kind of songs. I’ve been a fan of that stuff for a long time so it’s only natural that it start seeping out into our music.”

Fans of Paper Kites know that the band strives to make music videos that are unique and compelling, like the stop-motion brilliance of “Young” or the visually stunning bubble-craziness of “St. Clarity.” Bentley had one specific vision for all of the videos from twelvefour.

“I really wanted to tie in with that late night theme and have the videos follow this 12 to four thing as well,” Bentley says.

“We kinda wanted to set it around these late night clubs and venues that don’t actually exist, but they could exist.”

The “Electric Indigo” video was filmed in Melbourne and follows a young man’s experience at a club called Dance or Go, which is exactly what it sounds like: either keep dancing or get ejected by a bouncer. “Revelator Eyes,” shot in Minneapolis, depicts a couple at The Jam Bar, a hipster’s dream hangout equipped with vinyl listening stations and an electric guitar in the arcade.

“They just turned out great,” Bentley says.

“It’s a really cool vibe that carries the same visual idea as the songs.”

Bentley says the videos from twelvefour are meant to be a trilogy and that Paper Kites expect to film the third video for a still undecided single after their current tour. In addition, fans can soon expect the release of a documentary about the recording process of twelvefour.

“We wanted to show that there is a lot behind it, particularly within the politics of the band,” Bentley says. “Even just discussing amongst us what we feel is right for this record and all of our influences clashing together… Sometimes it’s not so peaceful. It is really difficult to make a record and it is difficult to, sort of, exist as a musician, especially in the Australian scene. It’s a hard thing to do.”

This tour marks the third trek across North America for the Paper Kites. Bentley says he’s noticed a difference in attitude between American audiences and their Australian counterparts.

“In Australia, people do what they do and people come to the show and they clap and then they leave,” Bentley says. “I don’t think they want to talk about your music or the first time they heard you, but people over here, they really love to do that and we love to hear it because it’s their stories that they’re sharing with you and how your music has, sort of, become their music.”

If anyone sees Bentley after the show, he’s open to suggestions on where to get the best cheesesteak. n

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TIMAREE’S BODY

by Timaree Schmit @timaree_leigh

RIP American Gay Bar Congratulations CONGRATULATIONS CONGRATULATIONS CONGRATULATIONS

T

he American Gay Bar, 82, was announced dead this week after a long, brave battle with changing sociopolitical landscapes. It is survived by its offspring, the LGBT Rights Movement, as well as its father, Oppressive Heteronormativity.

Memorial services will be held at the remaining queer-friendly establishments that subsist through assimilation. In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to the Attic Youth Center, as LGBT kids continue to face abuse and homelessness at horrendous rates (and they can’t go to bars anyway).

Born officially after the end of Prohibition in 1933 (but rumored to have existed as early as the 1850s), the American Gay Bar had long been a haven for queers who faced discrimination and violence. Up until recently, it was literally the only place where many patrons felt free to be themselves. After a brief but brilliant life span, its demise can be considered either ironic or purposeful obsolescence. Created to make safe space for a marginalized group, the gay bar spurred activism that enabled its clients to no longer need it, like a painkiller that turns out to be both cure and vaccine.

The gay rights movement is the only social justice crusade born out of a bar.

Its early incarnations were often located in lower income neighborhoods where cops were less frequently seen and more easily bought. The space could be entirely gendersegregated or gay men 7/17/15 and women might PM 7/17/15 2:56 PM to 2:56 7/17/15 2:56 PM co-mingle, quickly switching dancing in opposite-sex pairings if the authorities arrived. Word of mouth was the primary means of advertising. Building exteriors were generally discreet, for many decades lacking windows or bright lights (much less rainbow flags). Inside, one could find lust, love, activism and affirming community.

There were, however, downsides to a society built in noisy, booze-filled venues.

Drinking and cruising for hookups is the primary shared activity, which irrevocably shaped the nature of relationships and stereotypes of queer people. Gay culture’s reputation for substance abuse, looks-obsession, and promiscuity are residual effects of this ghettoization.

The American Gay Bar found its glamorous yet grimy stride in the 1970s but was devastated by the plague of HIV in the 80s; lesbians finally had a thriving, openly advertised nightlife culture of their own in the 1990s. Business blossomed and even straight people would venture in for a drag show or a night of dancing.

Slowly the lines of demarcation changed, like a membrane dissolving to allow free flow between cells. The scene was no longer exclusive and LGBT patrons felt safer to party, dine and spend their dollars elsewhere.

But as this allowed greater freedom for the client base, it also initiated the slow and occasionally painful demise of the Gay Bar. As gentrification giveth, so it taketh away. In-

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24 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

creased operational costs rose with neighborhood development, driving out all sorts of businesses and residents. To survive, gay places had to literally renovate and metaphorically sand down the edges to be more palatable to straight audiences.

Mirroring the sea change in acceptance for same-sex marriage, gay venues fell like dominos across the globe in the 2010s.

Causalities nationwide included the oldest gay bar in New York and the only remaining lesbian joint in San Francisco, while the historically homo-centric Key West is now down to a meager three gay spots. The most recent fatality is Philly’s own Venture Inn, which announced it will be closing after the first of the year.

Perhaps the loss of our bars and a distinct gay culture is the unavoidable cost of admission for LGBT people into mainstream society, though not everyone desires that absorption. Further, some have suggested the rumors of the American Gay Bar’s death are exaggerated and that perhaps it’s more fair to say it has simply changed shape.

Assimilation has its advantages, but there are steep costs. Educator Bernice Olivas asks her mostly white classrooms, “What have you lost from your culture?” Her students, predominantly of Eastern European descent, don’t know the languages of their great grandparents, nor can they describe the standard costume or music of the countries from which they came. The upside is that they are accepted as full citizens of American society and any tragic circumstances that led their ancestors to immigrate is far from daily consciousness.

The American gay bar arose to prominence because/in spite of homophobia and for generations gave young LGBT people a space to meet friends, lovers and others who would affirm their core sense of self.

It’s rare when a business creates something meaningful beyond the product that is supplied, but especially so when the result is the salvation of actual human lives. It will be missed. n

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage | Twitter: @FakeDanSavage

Granny Gets Down

I

’m a straight female in my mid 20s.

I’ve been dating a wonderful guy for two years—but I recently found something that has put me on edge.

Before we met, he was in a relationship with a terrible, alcoholic, and mentally unstable woman. They got pregnant early in the relationship and stayed together for about five years. We met a year after they broke up. I felt like I’d come to terms with the ugliness of his past, with his trying to stay in a bad relationship for the sake of his child and the rest of it. But recently, thanks to the vastness of the internet, I came across a suggestive photo of my boyfriend with his ex’s sister. I asked him about it, and he admitted to sleeping with her while he was with his ex. He says it was during a particularly bad period, he was very drunk, she made the first move, etc., but I’m just so grossed out.

Cheating is one thing, but fucking your girlfriend’s sister? And it’s not like this was a 19-year-old’s mistake; he was near 30 and the father of a child. He also fudged a little about whether it was just one time or a few times. I feel like now I’m questioning his integrity.

This is something that I wouldn’t have thought him capable of doing. What do I do? —All Twisted Up

some, most, or all of which your boyfriend presumably remains blissfully unaware of.

It’s too bad that suggestive/incriminating photo is rattling around out there in the vastness of the internet, ATU, but I’m curious about how exactly you “came across” it in the first place. If you went looking for dirt—if you were snooping—you found it. Congrats. I’m not against snooping in all instances. People often find out shit they had both a right and an urgent need to know: the BF/ GF/NBF*/fiancé/spouse is cheating in a way that puts you at risk, they’re running up ruinous debts, they’re hiding a secret second family, they’re attending Donald Trump rallies, etc. But just as often, we find out shit we didn’t need to know—something in the BF/ GF/NBF’s past, something they regret, something they’ll never do again (do you even have a sister?)—and can never unknow.

You learned that your boyfriend did something pretty fucked up. Whether you decide to stay or go, ATU, remember that you snoop at your own risk—sorry, remember that you explore “the vastness of the internet” at your own risk.

What do you do? You ask yourself if you believe your boyfriend when he says fucking his then-girlfriend’s sister was a mistake, ATU, one he deeply regrets, and one he never intends to repeat. If you can’t be romantically involved with someone capable of doing such a terrible sister-fucking thing, the question is a rhetorical one. You’ll have to end the relationship regardless of the answer. But if you could stay with someone capable of doing such a terrible sister-fucking thing, and if you believe your boyfriend when he says it was a mistake, one he regrets, and won’t happen again, then you stay in the relationship.

And when your find yourself feeling squicked out by the knowledge that your boyfriend fucked around on his previous girlfriend with her own sister, you remind yourself that good and decent people sometimes do shitty, indecent, sister-fucking-ish things—and then you pause to consider all the shitty and/or indecent things you’ve done in your life, ATU,

My younger brother outed me to our parents, our siblings, and our only living grandparent. I’m a straight woman and into bondage, SM, and kinky swinging—nothing outrageous—and I tried to keep this aspect of my sexuality (and my marriage) hidden. Things are fine now: Mom and Dad are mad at my brother, not me, and my siblings (save the fundamentalist) are over it.

But I wanted to share my grandmother’s reaction: She called to tell me that my late grandfather liked to be tied up and spanked too and that their marriage (47 years!) was more fun for it.

—Kink Isn’t New, Kiddo That’s wonderful—and Thanks for sharing.

so

REAL PEOPLE, REAL DESIRE, REAL FUN.

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There’s more Savage Love!

Read more at ph.ly/savage Ask a question: mail@savagelove.net phillyweekly.com | December 3 - 9, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 25

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PennSCAN Classified network program allows advertisers to reach all across Pennsylvania Public Involvement Plan Habitat for Humanity is undertaking to remediate the properties located at 1801-1807 N. 19th Street and 1857 West Montgomery Avenue in the City of Philadelphia, Philadelphia County, pursuant to the terms of the Land Recycling and Environmental Remediation Standards Act (“Act 2”).

Habitat for Humanity is currently completing remedial investigation activities of the above referenced properties and submitted a Notice of Intent to Remediate on July 31, 2015. On August 12, 2015, the City of Philadelphia requested that Habitat for Humanity prepare a public involvement plan in accordance with Act 2.

The Public Involvement Plan for the properties located at 1801-1807 N. 19th Street and 1857 West Montgomery Avenue will include the following measures to involve the public in a discussion regarding these properties: 1. All documents relating to Act 2 remedial investigation activities will be made available at the Habitat for Humanity Philadelphia Office located at 1829 N. 19th Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19121.

2. Richard S. Werner, P.G., of Environmental Consulting Inc., the environmental consultant to Habitat for Humanity Philadelphia, is designated as the single point of contact for any questions regarding these properties.

3. A public meeting will be held on January 8, 2016 at 9:00 AM, at the Habitat for Humanity Philadelphia Office for the purpose of providing information regarding the completed investigations, gathering public comments, and addressing concerns. The meeting is open to the public.

Participants in the meeting will include Habitat for Humanity Philadelphia and its environmental consultants.

4. Comments obtained as a result of the public involvement plan and responses to those comments will be included in the remedial investigation report

GET THE

EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY All real estate advertised in this newspaper is subject to federal, state and localfair housing laws, which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation, or discriminationbased on race; color; religion;sex; disability; familial; (presence of children);national origin; age (Pennsylvania and New Jersey); martial status or sexual orientation(Pennsylvania and New Jersey), or source of Income (Philadelphia only) in the sale, rentalor financing or insuring of housing. This paper will not knowingly accept any advertisingfor real estate which violates these laws. The law requires that all dwellings advertised beavailable on an equal opportunity basis. If you believe you have been discriminated againstin connection with the sale, rent, financing or insuring of housing or commercial property,call HUD at 1-888-799-2085

where to go where to go

9TH & FITZWATER- LARGE, 2BR 1BA FOR SALE "AS IS" DECK & W/D. AVAILABLE 31xx Bambrey St. move in 267NOW. 215-915-5347 519-3963 29K or OBO

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H ME Find your new home or apartment in the pages of Philly Weekly.

OPEN HOUSES CALL 215.563.1234

DEADLINES: Display ads - Fridays @ 10 a.m. | Line ads - Mondays @ 4:30 p.m.

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“We have been happy customers of the Philadelphia Weekly for 16 years. Philly Weekly is the ideal place to place your real estate ads. Not only are we pleased with their level of customer service and our representative, we also receive excellent leads from our ads we place. Thanks to Philly Weekly, we have had great success in renting center city apartments.”

Tiffany Delio, Leasing Associate

Michael Singer Real Estate

1700 DELANCEY STREET RITTENHOUSE SQUARE $1,245,000

1625 OGDEN STREET FRANCISVILLE FROM $325,000

745 S RANDOLPH ST “C” (AKA 748-46 PASSYUNK AVE) QUEEN VILLAGE $229,900

SUNDAY, DEC. 6th 12:00PM to 1:00PM 617 S 7TH ST BELLA VISTA $277,000

1:00PM to 3:00PM

717 S COLUMBUS BLVD #507 DOCKSIDE $499,000 428 CATHARINE ST QUEEN VILLAGE $454,900 1504 S 5TH ST PENNSPORT $429,900 314 S BUTLER ST QUEEN VILLAGE $379,000

12:00PM to 1:30PM

204 S 3RD ST SOCIETY HILL $799,000

1:30PM to 2:30PM 308 LOMBARD ST SOCIETY HILL $845,000 219 MONTROSE ST QUEEN VILLAGE $369,000 125 CHRISTIAN ST QUEEN VILLAGE $480,000

1330 N. TANEY STREET BREWERYTOWN $199,000

238 QUEEN ST #5 QUEEN VILLAGE $299,900

506 PIERCE STREET DICKINSON SQUARE $249,000

305 GASKILL ST SOCIETY HILL $564,000

OPEN HOUSES

phillyweekly.com/real-estate/open-house/ phillyweekly.com | December 3 - 9, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 27

ichael inger Real Estate

Over 50 years in the real estate business

SATURDAY APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE from 12:30-4:30pm Please call to arrange a viewing

826 S. FRONT STREET QUEEN VILLAGE Terrific Large Family Home in Meredith School District Here’s the Unique and Enchanting Home you’ve been searching for! It’s a Jewel of Country - Eclectic Style, of 3306 Sq Ft,running street to street, with Garage.

Enter this Warm and Inviting Home by the Open, Bright, Slate Foyer Filled with Breath-taking Greenery and Garden - ArtSculpture work –- must be Experienced to be Appreciated. To the side is a deep Walk-in Coat Closet.

Down 3 steps to the Delightful Sunken Living Room with High Ceilings, Exposed Brick, Original Wood Floors and a Gas-Log Fireplace. The Formal Dining Room is Enhanced by a Skylight, a large West-Facing Window, and many Custom - Designed Details. A Charming, updated Powder Room is off the Hallway.

The Kitchen –- WOW! -- is a Country - Style Gem with Every Modern Amenity, Plenty of Cabinets, Italian Tile Countertops, new SS Viking and Bosch Appliances, a Large Island suitable for Prepping, Eating, or Work Space, and a Handsome, Tall Pantry with Antique Doors.

The adjacent Café features a comfy seating area alongside a Bright Eating Nook, with 2 Oversized Windows, opening to theEnchanting indoor Garden Room. You’ve never seen anything like this -- a Work of Art, truly.

Here a large Skylight illuminates a profusion of Beautiful Plantings, including 2 Japanese Maples, Climbing Ficus, and a Lush groundcover of Soleirolia. A Stone Trough and Fountain, Tasteful Garden Artifacts, Hand-made Faux Brick and Stone details -- you can savor this Delight from the 4-seat Gliding Settee. No sudden rainstorm will interfere here, as a hidden control panel regulates ventilation as well as Track Lighting. Double doors open directly into the Garage, with Shelving, Storage, and Potting Bench. Private, Fenced Side Yard with Window Boxes and more Gorgeous Greenery.

On the 2nd floor, the rear area is currently used as an Office with 2 South-facing Windows and Exposed Beams, a Full Separate Laundry/Sewing Room, & a Stunning, New full Bath with Large Shower. Hallway on this level features a Large Closet.

The 2nd Floor Front comprises the Main Suite: the Light - Filled Sitting Room leads to Spacious Bedroom with 2 Bright, East - Facing Windows, Wood Floors, Wall of Custom Closets, and a Beautiful Full Bath.

Up the Graceful Staircase to the 3rd Floor, featuring 2 Bedrooms, Huge Full Bath and Hallway with 4 more Closets!

On the 4th Level is the Art Studio, with 2 Skylights and 2 Windows (light, light, light!), Vaulted Ceilings, Wood Floors, and a Franklin Stove for Coziness, a Perfect Space for Both Work and Play.

Unfinished Basement with Stone Foundation Houses Mechanicals, 3-Step Water Filters, Irrigation for Front

RITTENHOUSE SQUARE FITLER SQUARE THE CHATHAM: WALNUT & 20TH - Studios and One bedrooms in High Rise Doorman bldg w/Magnificent Western & Southern exposure, View of Rittenhouse Square, HW Floors, Laundry on site, Professionally Managed.

AVAILABLE NOW and JANUARY! ALL UTILITIES INCLUDED! $1,350/$1485 DELANCEY & 17th – Bright and Beautiful One bedroom with a Den, HW floors, Hi-ceilings, laundry on premises, prestigious neighborhood, AVAIL for immediate occupancy! $1,285 CHRISTIAN & 22nd – Spacious Three Bed Townhome, H/W Floors, Yard and Basement, W/D, Bright, Lots of closet space, Hi ceilings, Avail Now! DOGS ARE MOST WELCOMED! $2,250 SPRUCE & 22ND – Newly remodeled studio, HW/F, heat, hot water and gas incl, laundry on premises, Avail Now! $885

Planters, and a Generous Workspace with Stainless Steel Sink, Cabinets, and Tons of Storage.

$1,100,000

SOCIETY HILL WASHINGTON SQUARE WEST/ MIDTOWN VILLAGE THE IMPERIAL – BROAD & SPRUCE - Studio in Hi-rise Elevator Building, Great Location, Hardwood Floors, A/C, Full Kitchens, Laundry on Premise, Avail. NOW! GAS INCLUDED! $795 THE CLAREMONT – CLINTON & 10th – Beautifully Renovated One Bedroom w/ Granite Countertop & Stainless Steel Appliances, D/W, Ceiling Fans, Luxurious Bath, Gorgeous Hardwood Floors , Laundry on Premise, Avail. Now! ALL UTILITES INCLUDED! $1,375 CLINTON PLACE – PINE & 11th – Bright & Cheery studio w/ view of Kahn Park, Elevator Building, H/W Floors, Laundry on Premise, Avail. Now! HEAT/HOT WATER INCLUDED $815

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I Love You, I Hate You

...is BACK!

...is BACK!

One of Philly’s most beloved columns is back to give your rants, raves, and unbridled emotion space to spill free on the printed page.

Email your diatribes, your pleas, your passions to: lovehate@phillyweekly.com. Just keep your emotions to 100 words or less people. Appearing soon...in Philly Weekly.

One of Philly’s most beloved columns is back to give your rants, raves, and unbridled emotion space to spill free on the printed page.

Email your 100 words or less to lovehate@phillyweekly.com.

610-457-0939

to tour this amazing apartment

28 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

Patrick Conway

Kathy Conway

215-266-1537 215-440-8190 Society Hill Office • 215.627.6005 • Please visit us online at www.conwayteam.com

Looking to advertise real estate?

Contact jay@phillyweekly for more information.

For over 90 years the most respected name in Philadelphia Real Estate Center City’s Largest Independent Realtor

& Associates, Inc. Realtors

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617 S 7TH ST BELLA VISTA NEW LISTING! OPEN SUNDAY, 12/6 12-1 PM

Pristine corner home with a museum feel, +/8,806sf, 5br, 4.3b, media room, guest suites, elevator, 2 car parking, prime location!

Bright contemporary, 3br, 2b, w/b fireplace, 2 decks, garage parking

$799,000 Call Izzy Sigman

Fabulous new construction, 4br, 4b, +/-3500sf, gourmet kitchen, Smart House Technology, patio, roof deck, Garage, tax abatement

Brand new 2br, 2b, upgraded h/w flrs, private balcony with river view, 2 car garage parking, tax abatement

$779,000 Call Franz Rabauer

Gorgeous sun-filled historic home, 5br, 3.5b, h/w flrs, 2 fireplaces, remodeled kitchen, courtyard

Light filled 3br, 1.5b, finished basement, rear deck, side yard, secure parking

$334,900 Call Gail Finnegan

Search all Center City Properties at: www.PlumerRE.com NEW LISTING UNIVERSITY CITY Gorgeous 1 bedroom condo with crown molding, a decorative fireplace, shared indoor pool, fitness gym and courtyard $169,000 NEW PRICE OPEN SUNDAY 12-1:30 506 PIERCE STREET Completely renovated two story townhouse with finished natural oak hardwood floors, jacuzzi tub and backyard $249,000 NEW PRICE OPEN SATURDAY 1-3 1625 OGDEN STREET Two stunning new construction condos with 10 year tax abatement.

3 Bedrooms, 3 Baths From $325,000

Exquisite wide corner contemporary 3br, 2.5b, cook’s kitchen, private garden, roof deck, garage parking

2br, 1b Trinity with historic details, c/a, private back yard, Walk Score 99

$277,000 Call Cecile Steinriede

226 South Street 215 922 4200 NEW PRICE BREWERYTOWN Fantastic redone 2 bedroom townhouse with bamboo hardwood floors and a large backyard $199,000 NEW LISTING QUEEN VILLAGE Light-filled 3 bedroom townhouse with floor-toceiling windows, central atrium and lots of outdoor spaces: a balcony, a patio and two roof decks marissa@ewrhomes.com $775,000 NEW PRICE OPEN SUNDAY 12-2 1700 DELANCEY ST Magnificent 3 bedroom corner property with red oak hardwood floors, custom built kitchen, fireplace and 1 car parking.

Tax abatement approved $1,245,000 phillyweekly.com | December 3 - 9, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 29

W W W. M C C A N N T E A M . C O M

THINKING OF SELLING? CALL 215.778.0901 THINKING OF BUYING? CALL 215.440.8345

QUEEN VILLAGE

$550,000

Move right into this beautiful 3BD/2BA river view home with hardwood floors, historic facade, finished basement and easy parking located in the MEREDITH School Catchment and the ever desirable Queen Village. Wide open living and dining room entrance with chair rail molding, crown molding, two front windows and recessed lighting.

The eat-in kitchen is fit for any chef, with a side and rear yard- perfect for dining alfresco.

WASHINGTON SQ WEST

$450,000

Rarely offered, 3-story home in Washington Sq West! This townhouse is one block from Washington Square park and Walnut Street. This reasonably priced home features beautiful living spaces, straight staircase, tons of light, plenty of closets, hardwood floors, tiled baths, jacuzzi tub, lots of storage, washer/dryer, exposed brick walls, stainless steel appliances, interior iron railings system, alarm system,central air and great charm and character through-out!

ART MUSEUM AREA

$639,900

BELLA VISTA

$875,000

This wonderful 3BD/2.5BA home is in impeccable move in condition, offering a patio, terrace with skyline views, 1-car garage and more! Located in the heart of the Art Museum Area yet nestled on a quiet, low traffic block. Follow open wood stairs to the tremendous 23’ wide ope, sun-filled living room complete with wood flooring, dramatic wood burning fireplace with stone wall and wood mantle. Also features a beautiful chefs kitchen.

This Handsome brick front, 8 years young, 2545 square feet, custom 3BD/3BA Bella Vista Beauty boasts garage parking, 3 outdoor spaces including 2 decks with sky line views, gleaming hardwood floors thru out, a chef’s ultra granite and stainless kitchen, marble bathrooms, finished basement and much, much more. There is also a magnificent master suite with a gas fireplace, custom closets and an exquisite Spa like, marble bathroom. Don’t miss this!

OLD CITY

QUEEN VILLAGE

$380,000

This is the Old City Condo that you have been waiting for!! Absolutely gorgeous 2BD/2BA unit with fantastic new open kitchen, exposed brick and beams, hardwood floors, working wood burning fireplace, washer/ dryer, and a great layout.

The unit features two big bedrooms with full baths and large closets. The master bedroom has an extra large walk in closet and beautiful bathroom with modern cabinetry and double sinks. The living space is fantastic! Must see it today!

Check out our video to get to know Mike & his team- you can find it at www.mccannteam.com!

30 | Philly Weekly | December 3 - 9, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

$275,000

Very charming 1BD/1BA, first floor condo on the “Delancey Street” of Queen Village! This lovely unit begins with a wide open living and dining room featuring beautiful hardwood floors, fireplace and natural sunlight. The kitchen offers maple cabinetry, granite counters, stainless steel appliances, slate tile floor and pantry closet. Nice full tile bathroom with white vanity and spacious carpeted bedroom. Includes 1-year pre-paid parking at Abbot Square garage.

Office

215.627.6005 Direct

215.440.8345

Looking to advertise real estate or open houses?

Contact jay@phillyweekly.com for more information.

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