Issuu

11.26.15-12.02.15

© 2015 Goose Island Beer Company, Chicago, IL. Enjoy responsibly. Great American Beer Festival® Avwards (Category: English Style India Pale Ale): 2012 Gold (India Pale Ale), 2009 Silver (IPA), 2007 Silver (India Pale Ale), 2004 Silver (Goose Island India Pale Ale), 2001 Bronze (India Pale Ale), 2000 Gold (Goose Island IPA).

B:10.25 in

S:9.5 in

T:10 in

tomorrow exchange buy * sell*trade

CENTER CITY WEST: 1713 Chestnut St. â€˘ 215-557-9850

BuffaloExchange.com

Thanksgiving Day Brunch! 9am- 3pm

Call today for your reservation:

(215) 877-3055 www.hungrybearBYOB.com | 4700 States Drive, Phila, PA Hours Tuesday- Friday 11am-10pm Saturday- Sunday 10am-10pm Brunch: Saturday & Sunday till 4pm Lunch: Tuesday- Friday 11am- 4pm Dinner: Tuesday- Sunday 4pm-10pm

phillyweekly.com | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 3

WedNeSdAy, NovemBeR 25

IN THIS ISSUE:

4 PhIllyNoW What to do this week

ShoP

10 gIFT guIde

The inaugural outdoor shopping fest features local artists, crafters and designers selling unique gifts and holiday foods. Shop wares from Philly Word Art, Beaucycled and Saffron Creations, Mahogany Essentials, Candlemaker Accent Aroma and more. Through Dec. 27. Dilworth

made in Philadelphia holiday market

Gifts for everyone on your list

17 Comedy Artie Lange comes to town

18 SAvAge love

Park, 15th and Market sts.

Butt beginners

mu SIC 19 ClASSIFIed 21 ReAl eSTATe

CONNECT WITH US! Facebook: Philly Weekly Twitter: @phillyweekly Instagram: @phillyweekly

It’s the year 1993

Philly Now

WhAT To do IN & ARouNd The CITy • MORE AT PHILLYWEEKLY.COM Tell us about your upcoming events! Email info to managing editor Anastasia Barbalios at: events@phillyweekly.com

Jay Sterin General manager Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 163 jay@phillyweekly.com

Jacqueline Rupp Editor-in-chief jacqueline@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyjackie

Anastasia Barbalios Managing editor anastasia@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyweekly

PHILLY WEEKLY 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400. Classified: 215.354.3054

m ov e mB eR

Being the Beard

eet the winner of the Luksusowa No-Shave November Celebration, Buddy Muhler. Buddy came out on top of the drinking party/beard contest, which was held last week at the Fillmore and benefitted the Testicular Cancer Foundation. We caught up with this Franklin Institute camp program supervisor by day, beard grower by night, to find out his no-shave secrets.

I have you in my phone as Buddy the Beard, do people call you that too? Yeah, yeah, that became

my nickname over the last two or so years.

And it’s your twitter handle too? It is my twitter

RPM PHILLY, LLC Publisher Perry Corsetti Philly Weekly is published Wednesday by RPM Philly, LLC, 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400. Distributed in Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery & Chester counties in Pennsylvania and selected other locations in southern New Jersey. Philly Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into a newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the management. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising. Contents copyright © 2015 by Philly Weekly. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

handle and my Instagram handle as well. It sort of became a thing because of one of my co-workers that actually came up with the phrase. I’ve had a beard for over a decade, but before it was really short and I would always grow it out for either when the Flyers were in the playoffs or the Eagles were in the playoffs. It was a playoff beard and I would let it go until they got knocked off. But after the 2011-2012 Flyers playoff, I just didn’t feel like cutting it. As sad as it is, I got lazy. Then I let it go for a couple of months and started to get compliments about it, people were like, “Hey that’s awesome, that looks great” and I was like, “Alright, let's see where this thing goes.” And I kept letting it grow, and now three years later here it is. It’s funny how people on the streets, random people in coffee shops notice. I was just in Montreal for work, for a conference, and I’m just walking around by myself, checking stuff out and this random guy comes up to me and goes, “Can I take a picture of you?” Not with me, of me. So yeah random things like that happen. The people there at Starbucks in Montreal put “ZZ Top” on my cup, which is convenient, because I like ZZ Top.

4 | Philly Weekly | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

Hosted by Reef the Lost Cauze, and featuring DJ’s Emynd & Bo Bliz, dance to the hits of 1993, including Ace of Base, Toni Braxton, Jodeci, TLC and more.

9pm. $7. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. johnnybrendas.com dRINK

Thanksgroovin’ eve Bar Crawl

Celebrate Thanksgiving Eve with zero cover charges and amazing drink specials at 25 of the best drinking spots in the city, including MilkBoy, Paddy Whacks and Liberty Bar. 8pm. $5-$10.

thanksgroovineve.com

Is this how long it gets? I don’t know! This is the lon-

gest it’s ever been. The only thing I trim are just the outside layers. I don’t want it to look super crazy.

do you have to condition it? Well, I shampoo it every morning, because I don’t really have anything else other than that to shampoo. And after I get out of the shower I comb it just because, since it's wet, otherwise it will be super poofy. Are there annoying parts to having such a beard?

Food gets very challenging. Soup is the worst. Some people get it on their shirt, I get it on my beard. Anything that has like a sauce, like Buffalo wings. And because it’s so big, sometimes I don’t feel if there’s stuff stuck in there and my co-workers have to like tell me about it. And since I walk down the Parkway, by the Museum, it’s very windy at times, so it just flows around.

Is this the first competition you are in? Yes, I’ve

had plenty of people telling me I should enter a competition and I never really wanted to enter a competition just because I wouldn’t take it that seriously and I didn’t really think I had a shot in a lot of these. I was basically pushed into entering that competition. It was fun that it was all for charity too.

do you have any advice for people who are interested in growing their beard? If they are actually

looking to grow a beard, like something like mine, you have to get through the first nine months, because it does kinda suck for a while, it’s very itchy, until you go through the first year. And it's hard to keep it straight, you get a lot more curls and things like that. Once you get past that year, gravity sort of starts to take over and it all sorts to start to line up. n

ThuRSdAy, NovemBeR 26 ShoP

Christmas village

Modeled after the traditional Christmas markets of Germany, this holiday transformation of LOVE Park features food, performances and appearances by Santa Claus himself. The yearly holiday tradition hosts a slew of crafters and vendors, daily shows, and loads of sweets and treats. 11am-8pm. Free. Through

Dec. 27. Love Park, 1500 Arch St. philachristmas.com Food

Thanksgiving day Cruise Not up for doing the whole turkey business this year? Hop aboard the Spirit of Philadelphia for a Thanksgiving feast—complete with cleanup—and cruise along the Delaware. 2:30pm.

$29.95-$49.90. Penn’s Landing, Columbus Boulevard & Lombard Circle. spiritcruises.com

Friday, November 27

Grand Opening Philadelphia’s #1 Float Spa

NOVEMBER 28, 2015 4-8PM At our new location in Roxborough! 6068 Ridge Ave Phila. PA 19128

209 West Girard Phila., PA 19123

Book your appointments now!

6068 Ridge Ave. Phila., PA 19123

215-279-7607

215.279.7607 halcyonfloats.com

Floating is a relaxation and therapeutic technique that involves restricting sensory input to achieve a deepened meditative state.

The beauty of floating is that everyone can benefit from it. The list of physiological benefits of floating is endless!

RESET

RECOVER

RELAX

Behavior Modification Deautimization Super Learning Heightened Senses

Pain Management Improved Immune System Enhanced Healing & Recovery Absorb Magnesium Increaesed Resistance to Stress

Meditation Stress Relief Introspection Visualization Insomnia Jet Lag

STaGe

book of mormon

The multiple Tony Award-winning musical from the creators of South Park is a hysterical religious satire featuring two mismatched missionaries sent to Uganda to spread the Good Word. Through Dec. 27. Forrest Theatre, 1114 Walnut St.

forrest-theatre.com Comedy

black Friday Comedy marathon

A nonstop marathon of stand-up, improv, sketch, storytelling and variety comedy from Philly’s hilarious local talent. The laughs are all-you-can-watch for just $10, which gets you a wristband good for admission at any time throughout the night.

10am. Through Nov. 29. Philly Improv Theater, 2030 Sansom St. phillyimprovtheater.com m USiC

Schoolly d

Schoolly D will be in-store signing copies of the newly re-issued Schoolly D P.S.K. Head over for Record Store Day stock, giveaways and a live performance. 5pm. Brew-

erytown Beats, 2710 W Girard Ave. facebook.com/BrewerytownBeats driNK

Fade to black iii

BRU Craft & Wurst celebrates Black Friday with an all-day happy hour featuring 11 dark beers from 11 different breweries, along with off-menu dark-side inspired bites and sandwiches. The $4-$5 draft list includes Left Hand Brewing Fade to Black, Firestone Walker Velvet Merlin, Carton Brewing Epitome and more. 11am. BRU Craft &

Dine In or Take Out

Wurst, 1316 Chestnut St. bruphilly.com

1225 Fitzwater Street 215-735-2326

STaGe

The rock School’s Nutcracker 1776

Enjoy a high energy performance featuring Tchaikovsky’s timeless musical score, performed by The Rock School’s future dance stars of tomorrow and featuring Philadelphia elements and personages. Through Nov. 28. Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St.

Open Tuesday -Sunday 11am to 10pm

kimmelcenter.org

We Deliver

SH oP

Ethical Society. 1906 Rittenhouse Square. phillyethics.org SH oW

The Comcast Holiday Spectacular

The Comcast Center’s lobby offers an unparalleled visual experience via one of the world’s highest resolution LED displays. The 15-minute show features Philadelphia dancers, ice skaters and performers, as well as animated penguins. 10am-8pm. Free.

22nd

The Tibetan Association of Philadelphia hosts two days of shopping for a variety of items, including textiles, jewelry and hand-crafted items. 10am-5pm. Free. Philadelphia

FrOnT

MarkeT

Philadelphia Tibetan bazaar

HHHHH rating by

WaShingTOn

Through Jan. 1. Comcast Center, 1701 JFK Blvd. phillyweekly.com | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 5

PHILLY NOW SaturdaY, NOvember 28

Courtesy Kulu Mele

muSIC

Kulu mele: Celebrating Senegal

Featuring shows across the globe and in Philadelphia, Kulu Mele African Dance & Drum Ensemble has been part of our city for nearly 50 years. “Celebrating Senegal” features two original dances commissioned by choreographer Marie Basse-Wiles, co-founder of the Maimouna Keita School of African Dance.

Through Nov. 29. $15-$30. Painted Bride Art Center, 230 Vine St. paintedbride.org S C r e eN

exhumed Films’ end-of-Year Spectacular

Catch a screening of Exhumed Film’s favorite film discovery of the year, kung fu comedy Ninja Busters. In celebration of the event, they’ll also be screening classic party movies, including 1979’s Rock ‘n’ Roll High School and 1983’s BMX Bandits. 7:30pm.

$10-$15. International House, 3701 Chestnut St. ihousephilly.org StaG e

Hans brinker and the Silver Skates

Family-friendly production about children competing in an ice skating competition, where the winner will receive a shiny pair of silver skates. Hans and his sister will try to beat the competition using their less expensive wooden skates. Through Jan. 31.

Arden Theatre, 40 N. Second St. ardentheatre.org FO Od

O utdOO r S

blue Cross riverrink Winterfest

Celebrate the holidays and embrace the cold months with an outdoor rink offering skating, s’mores, food, drink, shopping & games. Through March. Blue Cross RiverRink, 101 S. Columbus

Blvd. delawareriverwaterfront.com StaGe

menopause the musical

An all-female cast stars in this hilarious musical that makes light of woeful hot flashes, forgetfulness, mood swings, wrinkles, night sweats and chocolate binges with a soundtrack featuring classic songs from the ‘60s, ‘70s and ‘80s. $45-$65.

Through Dec. 20. Penn’s Landing Playhouse, 211 S. Columbus Blvd. 855.448.7469. plplayhouse.com SHOPPING

Small business Saturday

Support small businesses during the biggest shopping weekend of the year. Sponsored by American Express, Small Business Saturday helps local, independently-owned retailers gain exposure while giving shoppers discounts, special events, promotions and giveaways. Stick around for the annual Manayunk Tree Lighting Ceremony, which will feature carolers, pictures with Santa and a performance from Merge Dance Studio. 11am. Manayunk. manayunk.com

StaGe

Grilled Cheese & Craft beer tasting

matilda the musical

worldcafelive.com

$20-$110. Through Nov. 29. Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St. 215.893.1999. academyofmusic.org

Pairing the best locally-sourced ingredients with hard-to-find imports from around the world. Taste delicious creations, like a Yards Saison paired with Old Bay cheddar on brioche with a crab cake and more. 3pm. $47. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.

6 | Philly Weekly | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

A four-time Tony Award-winning production based on Roald Dahl’s beloved children’s novel about an extraordinary young girl who dares to take charge of her own destiny. 7:30pm.

Take your career to the next level. Learn to speak French at a time that fits into your schedule. WINTER SESSION CLASSES IN CENTER CITY December 7th-February 20th Daytime and Evening Weekday Adult Classes Saturday Children & Teen Classes REGISTRATION & PLACEMENT TESTS held December 3 and 4 from12 to 2 pm and 4 to 6 pm December 5 from 4 to 6 pm. For more information and how to register, visit www.AFPhila.com or call 215-735-5283. Alliance Française de Philadelphie 1420 Walnut Street | Suite 700 | Philadelphia, PA 19102 | 215-735-5283

THE C O U N T D O W N TO

Black Friday

WINDOW SALE TAKE

$350

OFF every window1

November 1 st to November 27th only!

TAKE

$900

OFF every patio door

PLUS

$0 0 0% Down Payments Interest

for one full year1

Call for your FREE Window and Patio Door Diagnosis

There are limited 1-267-337-8160 • 1-610-563-2191 appointments available 1-866-460-5591 • SuperStrongWindow.com 1 Offer not available in all areas. Discount applied by retailer representative at time of contract execution and applies to purchase of 3 or more windows and/or patio doors. Cannot be combined with other offers. To qualify for discount offer, initial contact for a free Window Diagnosis must be made and documented between 11/1/15 and 11/27/15 with the appointment then occurring no more than 10 days after the initial contact. 0% APR for 12 months available to well qualified buyers on approved credit only. Not all customers may qualify. Higher rates apply for customer with lower credit ratings. Financing not valid with other offers or prior purchases. No Finance Charges will be assessed if promo balance is paid in full in 12 months. Renewal by Andersen retailers are independently owned and operated retailers, and are neither brokers nor lenders. Any finance terms advertised are estimates only, and all financing is provided by third-party lenders unaffiliated with Renewal by Andersen retailers, under terms and conditions arranged directly between the customer and such lender, all subject to credit requirements. Renewal by Andersen retailers do not assist with, counsel or negotiate financing, other than providing customers an introduction to lenders interested in financing. PA Lic. # 001884. NJ Lic. # 13VH05055400. J&M Windows, Inc, d/b/a Renewal by Andersen of Greater Philadelphia. “Renewal by Andersen” and all other marks where denoted are marks of Andersen Corporation. ©2015 Andersen Corporation. All rights reserved. ©2015 Lead Surge LLC. All rights reserved.

phillyweekly.com | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 7

PHILLy noW SUnday, noveMber 29 Photo by John Flak

STaGe

This Is The Week That Is

As 2015 wraps up and the holidays approach, 1812 Productions takes a hilarious look back at the year’s local and national headlines in their hit political comedy. 2pm.

Through Dec. 31. Plays and Players Theatre, 1714 Delancey St. 215.735.0630. 1812productions.org ParT y

necrosexual’s no Holds barred burlesque

Honoring pro wrestling, heavy metal and freaks in general, this night of comedy and mayhem plays host to an intriguing blood-splattered burlesque. 7pm. $10. Franky

Bradley’s, 1320 Chancellor St. frankybradleys.com

Monday, noveMber 30 e XHI b ITIon

UGLY HOLIDAY SWEATERS ON SALE

Sex: a History in 30 objects

Explore some of the diverse ways that humans have understood sex and sexuality throughout the years. Presented in conjunction with the 2015-2016 Penn Humanities Forum on Sex, 30 objects are exhibited in this survey on gender and gender diversity.

10am-5pm. Free with admission. Penn Museum, 3260 South St. penn.museum.com

TUeSday, deCeMber 1 even T

World aIdS day

A global health awareness day to support and unite in the fight against HIV. Learn the history of the disease and discover the importance of testing and treatment through a combination of educational and art activities. Poet Gweny Love will lead a performance by teens all over Philadelphia at 4pm. 11am. Free. The Mutter Museum, 19 S

22nd St. muttermuseum.org

WedneSday, deCeMber 2 ParT y

Ugly Sweater Party

Pull out that ugly sweater from Aunt Bee and head to the Philadelphia Museum of Art for an evening of festive carols sung by Jessi Teich and yummy treats. Make memories with family and friends at a photo booth or create holiday cards at the card making station. 5:30pm. Free with admission. Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Benjamin

137 S. 13th Street Philadelphia, PA 215-566-2511 shibesports.com 8 | Philly Weekly | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

Franklin Pkwy. philamuseum.org Per For Man C e

Judah Friedlander

NBC’s 30 Rock star takes the stage for six hilarious performances in Philly. Through

Dec. 5. Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Samsom St. Philadelphia.heliumcomedy.com

YOUR COLD WEATHER HEADQUARTERS! At Ethical Humanist Society of Philadelphia 1906 Rittenhouse Square, Philadelphia, PA 19103

A perfect place for holiday shopping- textiles, jewelries, arts, hand crafted Tibetan items The more...Experience the delicious Tibetan foods- momo and noodle fry with awesome sweet tea and butter tea. Proceeds from the food sale goes to the Tibetan Association of Philadelphia.

Tibetan Association of Philadelphia phillytibetans@gmail.com 215 280 4706 (Sonam)

Stability Joyfulness

Support

Confidence JOIN US!

Walk-In Wednesdays

Affordability

Friendship

Security Spirituality

Community

Happening weekly from Community matters—and we invite you to come get a feel for ours. At Paul’s Run—Philadelphia’s best value in senior living, offering monthly rental agreements with no entrance fee—your loved one 2 - 4 p.m. will be surrounded by friendly neighbors and a staff who will treat them like family. SPECIAL OFFER: The sooner you act, the more you’ll save! Move in by: November 30 and save $400 a month for one year December 31 and save $300 a month for one year Plus, move in before January 1, 2016 and save $75 off the monthly second-person fee for a full year! Call 1-877-407-2914 or visit www.PaulsRun.org/simple today.

9896 Bustleton Avenue • Philadelphia, PA 19115

phillyweekly.com | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 9

line of hip-hop inspired illustrations,

Hip Hop Illies, are now making their

way onto apparel (we see you Biggie) and we can’t get enough of the hardcore cuteness. $28. hiphopillies.com

Combine Pineapple Express with The Big Lebowski and you either have one hell of a stoner flick or you’ve got what those two films would look like if they were made into a drinking chalice (which includes a brass straw). The Pineapple Company’s 16-ounce tumbler can be found at Art in the Age. $99. 116 N. Third St.

10 2

artintheage.com

Dogs are probably the easiest relatives on your shopping list to buy for. Although they’ll love whatever you get them and you don’t need to stress on a fancy bow—they’ll probably just try to eat it—Amelie’s Bark Shop has some pretty darn cute all-natural dog cookies to gift your pooch. Price varies. 1544 E. Passyunk

Ave. barkshopbakery.com.

5 7

PHILLY WEEKLY’S

GIFT GUIDE

Tons of gifts for everyone on your list.

Socks used to be a shitty present to get as a kid. 611’s socks are anything but, however, with a rainbow of patterns, prints and colors to choose from. Find them online or in a handful of city boutiques, including Metro Men’s Clothing, at 1615 East Passyunk Ave. $12.

611lifestyle.com

Many good things begin with bacon. Such is the case with the Bacon Jams Bacon Spread. Bestow a jar on a fortunate recipient and the world is theirs to schmear bacon upon. Choose from their original flavor or get a little wild with their red chile and garlic or black pepper varieties. $14.99. thebaconjams.com

Before everyone gets on the float bandwagon, gift a trip to Halcyon Floats, Philly’s first float spa, now with locations in NoLibs and Roxborough. Since combining sensory deprivation with Epsom salts is a tough thing to explain over eggnog, gift yourself with a visit first. Or, keep the float to yourself and give someone on your gift list a bag of their lavender salts to toss into their own tub.

$20. halcyonfloats.com

South Philly’s Analog Watch Co. designed their Carpenter Wood Watch Collection to be gender neutral and eco-friendly. With its sleek design and craftsman feel (it even has a flexible

10 | Philly Weekly | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

wood strap!) it’ll make a great gift for a lumbersexual or your perpetually tardy friends. $149. 1214 Moore St.

Counter Culture’s new 2015 Holiday Coffee, Iridescent, is a limited-edition, certified organic blend sourced from the Americas and Ethiopia, with complex and sweet notes of chocolate, and packaged in a sleek, gift-ready recyclable box (not a heathen red cup!). Iridescent is a gift that gives back, too: through their Seeds initiative, the roaster will donate a nickel per pound from Iridescent and all coffees sold during the holiday season to fund up to $20,000 in community building and development projects in coffee-growing regions.

counterculturecoffee.com

We’re smitten with the natural beauty of Seed & Sky’s illustrated jewelry. Made from original paintings, the earrings and lockets feature tiny reproductions of the naturalist-inspired art. $38.

seedandsky.com

Don’t call it a fanny pack. The always ingenious designers at Fabric Horse offer up this utility belt that is quintessential utilitarian. Made with waxed canvas and old seatbelts, its coated nylon Cordura cuts down on the bulk—and less belly bulk is something we all can get behind. $112.

analogwatchco.com

Fabric Horse, 1737 E. Passyunk Ave. fabrichorse.com

For the people on your list who are constantly making to-do lists or sending you a Google Calendar invite to brunch, the

So your friends are all grown up now but still refuse to stop using those A.C. shot glasses and red Solo cups for their drinks? Boost someone’s libations game with Roost’s Soirée Glassware, featuring delicate translucent colors and etching. $124.95. Scarlet Alley,

241 Race St. scarlettalley.com

Throw your hands in the air if youse a true player. Hilary Sedgwick is here to hook your gift list up. Her

Daily Success Routine dayplanner

from local entrepreneur Jamila Payne will be a gift they’ll love curling up with to multi-task, micro-manage and achieve world domination. Or just gift it to your perpetually high cousin as a subtle hint to get it together. $35. shop.

ideasactiondesign.com

Trim the Family Tree in matching Premium PJs

Pantone 207 Match C: 0 M: 100 Y: 65 K: 31 Pantone Cool Grey 7 Match C: 0 M: 1 Y: 5 K: 39

Pantone 207 Pantone Cool Grey 7

FREE Gift Packaging!

Call 1.800.957.7023

or visit PajamaGram.com/holiday to order.

TRI-COUNTY CHRYSLER • DODGE • JEEP • RAM

NOW OPEN!

All New State Of The Art Facility!

NOW OPEN! BLACK FRIDAY WEEKEND SAVINGS NOW THRU MONDAY, NOVEMBER 30TH • Service & Selection are Simply the Best! • YOUR ROAD TO LOW PRICES IS NOW MORE CONVENIENT THAN EVER! • New Spectacular Showroom! Just off the Route 422 Limerick Exit - Now Only Minutes from the King of Prussia Mall

at the end of D and L Drive, Limerick, PA 484-374-6100 • 610-367-2941

“YOUR ROAD TO LOW PRICES IS 422jeep.com”

www.422jeep.com OR FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @422JEEP

SALES: MONDAY-FRIDAY 9AM-9PM • SATURDAY 9AM-6PM phillyweekly.com | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 11

3 7

1 5 4

Show your home team some love with throwback Mitchell & Ness apparel, like this 1981 Phillies wool jacket. The company researches and ensures that details on each piece reflect what was worn in the past. $475. Mitchell

& Ness, 1201 Chestnut St. mitchellandness.com

Art in the Age teams up with Jack Rudy Cocktail Co. for the perfect gift for the boozehound on your list. Fresh macerated Oregon cherries soaked in Root and water— with a smidge of cane sugar—will take your classic cocktail or ice cream

sundae to the next level. Root Cocktail Cherries, $16. Art in the Age, 116 N 3rd

St. artintheage.com

Shibe Sports’ original line of vintage stadiums tees—designed by local artist Jon Billet—immortalize Philadelphia sports history with shoutouts to the Vet, Spectrum, Palestra and Shibe Park. Stadium Series,

knit by Art Star owner Megan Brewster.

$24. Art Star, 623 N. Second St. artstarphilly.com

Philadelphia Distilling’s Bluecoat Barrel Finished Gin is aged for at least three months in American Oak barrels, the finishing process introducing hints of caramel, vanilla and toffee. $34.99. Fine Wine &

$30. Shibe Vintage Sports, 137 S. 13th St.shibevintagesports.com

Good Spirits, various locations. finewineandgoodspirits.com

Stay stylish while trekking through the snow with these 100-percent organic wool ear warmers, hand-

12 | Philly Weekly | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

Score a presidential playdate with Hillary Clinton and help her make key decisions in the

Situation Room, receive visitors on the White House lawn, and hang out in the Oval Office. The playset includes 10 paper dolls (including Republican adversaries), Secret Service protection and, of course, pantsuits. Presidential Playset, $14.95. Quirk Books.

quirkbooks.com

For the well-dressed male on your list, Henry A. Davidson has an array of perfectly tailored apparel. Kick your wardrobe up a notch with these hand-made sterling silver SpiVey cufflinks. $270. Henry A. Davidsen, 1701

Spruce St. henrydavidsen.com

phillyweekly.com | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 13

3 4

1 2

Inspired by the City of Brotherly Love, this screenprint tent tee—created by artist and graphic

designer Dave Holley—is the perfect gift for your casually-cool bestie. Liberty Heart Bell Top, $78. Smak

Parlour, 219 Market St. smakparlour.com

These one-of-a-kind handmade journals created by Ex Libris Anonymous are individually crafted from vintage books. They’re filled with blank paper to jot down thoughts, recipes and notes, alongside actual pages from the original book. $14. Art Star, 623

As seen on this week’s cover, this Philly Phaithful tee is part of the Philadelphia Experience project, a line that celebrates our fair city through partnerships with local businesses and organizations. Each month, three new tees will hit the street, all highlighting some part of Philly history, with a portion of proceeds benefiting a local charity. The “From Philly With Love” tee (pictured) harkens back to the bad rep Eagles fans got when they pelted Old St. Nick with snowballs during a Christmas-themed halftime performance in 1968.

N. Second St. artstarphilly.com

Philadelphia Experience T-shirt, $24.99. Philly Phaithful, 737 N. Fourth St. phillyphaithful.com

$1.10 per foot. Kink Shoppe, 126 Market St. kinkshoppe.com

S. 22nd St. aokiboutique.com

For the discerning BDSM playmate on your list, head to Kink Shoppe and pick up some highquality, hand-processed hemp bondage rope. The weave passes a 12-step conditioning process before it is finished off with signature raspberry whipped ends.

Personalize your mornings with breakfast gear from Aoki Boutique. Milk & Honey’s silver-plated spoon ($22) has a vintage feel and hand-stamped font proclaiming “Spoon Me.” Use it to stir up your coffee or tea in this Fishs Eddy mug ($18) on the days you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Aoki Boutique, 115

14 | Philly Weekly | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

6 7

Local woodworker and designer Ben McBrien creates functional works of art from reclaimed wood, including this minimalistic hand-crafted skateboard deck. Farmhaus Skateboard, $175. Art in

the Age, 116 N. Third St. artintheage.com

Barren Hill will once again combine two icons of the holiday season into one yummy beer. Gingerbread Jesus (which mind you was first immaculately conceived last year by the brewery and local beer blogger and priest, Father Kirk Berlenbach) is a Belgian Dubbel which includes molasses, ginger, cinnamon and nutmeg. Take that Santa. Available on draft and in growlers. 646 Germantown Pike, Lafayette Hill. barrenhilltavern.com

Flyers fans on your list can go from Ugly Sweater party to The Wells Fargo without missing a beat in Shibe Vintage Sports’ 2015 Flyers Ugly Sweater.

$75. 137 S. 13th St. shibevintagesports.com

Have some Mad Men in your life? Gift them with a little Owen & Fred. The made in America brand combines classic styling with modern demands. The Flight Brief bag sports luxe waxed canvas, premium leather and brass. Throw in a set of their customized collar stays, a damn elegant way to send secret dirty messages.

$245. owenandfred.com

Luxurious, strong, rich and super cuddly—sounds like the start of a fake Tinder profile, but this scarf from 611 is oh-so real. Gift two, a girlfriend will invariably steal one. $22. Remix on Main, 4355 Main St.

611lifestyle.com.

Remember those quiet, contemplative hours of fun spent creating Crayola masterpieces when you were just a kid with a coloring book? Gift those days back to someone, plus

some added bloodshed, lust and dragons with the official Game of Thrones version. $16.95. Scarlet Alley, 241 Race St.

scarlettalley.com

Local Etsy artist Brandi Fitzgerald gives us new ways to bring the cityscapes of Philly we love indoors. Her colorful graphic re-interpretations of the city’s most beloved icons adorn a variety of housewares and can provide the perfect backdrop for locavore adventures. $22.

brandifitzgerald.com

Chadds Ford Winery makes it easy to load up on no-fail gifts with their wine gift sets. No need to take a day trip out to the scenic environs of Chester County, either, with their Christmas Village stand front and center at Love Park. 1500 Arch St.

philachristmas.com

Sitar

INDIA

Lunch & Dinner 13

10% Off Buffet WIN A FAMILY

Expires 11/30/15. FOUR PACK Not valid with any other discount

AT PHILLYWEEKLY.COM/CONTESTS Buffet Located at 38th & Chestnut

60 S. 38TH ST 215-662-0818 • Open 6 days a week • Closed Tuesday • Free Delivery

I Love You, I Hate You

...is BACK! 10

One of Philly’s most beloved columns is back to give your rants, raves, and unbridled emotion space to spill free on the printed page. Email your diatribes, your pleas, your passions to: lovehate@phillyweekly.com. Just keep your emotions to 100 words or less people. Appearing soon...in Philly Weekly.

DEC 17–20

WIN A FAMILY FOUR PACK

AT PHILLYWEEKLY.COM/CONTESTS

KIMMELCENTER.ORG

Dates

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. One entry per person or address. Winners will be chosen at random. Two pairs of tickets to a Broadway Philadelphia Production for one winner. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. Void where prohibited by law. Participating sponsors, their employees and family members and their agencies are not eligible

Venue

BROADWAY PHILADELPHIA is presented collaboratively by the Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts and the Shubert Organization.

LocalTicketsURL

DEC 17–20

Based on the animated television special “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and the stage production directed and conceived by Jeff Frank and First Stage. Script adaptation by Robert Penola. Arrangements and orchestrations by Timothy Splain.“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” animated television special adapted from a story by Robert L. May and the song by Johnny Marks, music and lyrics by Johnny Marks. All elements © and ™ under license to Character Arts, LLC.

KIMMELCENTER.ORG phillyweekly.com | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 15

6 5

7 2

Eliminate the stress of wedding planning with Stuff Every Bride Should Know and Stuff Every Groom Should Know, two pocket-sized manuals full of useful tips to prepare for the big day. The perfect engagement present for any couple getting ready to take the plunge. $9.95 each. quirkbooks.com

The Oral-B Black 7000 Electric Toothbrush is for anybody serious about knocking out plaque. This Bluetooth-equipped “smart toothbrush” helps users stay on top of their oral health with realtime guidance while brushing. It even records brushing activity for users to share with their dental professionals, giving you the perfect excuse for taking your phone into the bathroom. $189.99. target.com

The versatile MA-1 Flight Jacket by Alpha Industries is perfect for anyone looking to keep both warm and fashionable. This nylon jacket is water-resistant and reversible with a strong front zipper and multiple snap-closure pockets. $135. I. Goldberg,

1300 Chestnut St. igoco.com

The Organic Shimmer Scrub by nyl Skincare is the perfect all-natural way to get ready for a night on the town, perhaps NYE? Just one of many indulgent skin products from this local, family-owned small business that uses only vegan, cruelty-free ingredients. Perfect for stocking stuffin’. $38. nylskincare.com

Satisfy the cheese lovers in your life with DiBruno’s VIP Cheese Crate, an epic collection of delicious best-selling cheeses, antipasti, biscotti, hand-stuffed pepper shooters, gourmet olives, Black

16 | Philly Weekly | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

Lava Cashews and more. $99.99. dibruno.com

Don’t try to resist these sweets. Two’s Company’s Macaron Limoge Boxes are sold boxed by the dozen, which means give one to all those people that earned more than just an e-card this year. (If you stop by Scarlett Alley in person, you can also buy them individually.) $98.95/dz. 241 Race St. scarlettalley.com

Show some love for the first non-PLCB retail liquor store in the state, Pollyodd, owned by Joan Verratti, who happens to be the first female distillery owner in the country. At the shop, you’ll find a variety of cream- and water-based cello flavors to choose from, like Chocolatecello. Or just go with the classic Italian-American staple, Limoncello. $23.99.

1908 E. Passyunk Ave. pollyodd.com

COMEDY | by Kevin Matuszak

@KevinMatuszak

Artie knows the score

he exact second the clock hits 11 am, the phone in my cubicle begins to ring. Exact timing. A voice that sounds like an unpaved road mutters, “This is Artie.” If you’re familiar with Artie Lange you know that this guy has quite the history, but no matter how messed up he was in the past, he never missed a call time or a show. Today was no exception.

So how does it feel to be back in the swing of things as a sober stand-up comedian? It’s better than being in rehab. It’s good to get back in the game. I love comedy so much. It literally saved my life, ya know? I love doing it and I’m feeling great. Wait, am I on the radio or is this for a magazine?

(Laughs) Philly Weekly. Magazine. Ha, sorry, I got in late. I shot this HBO thing I’m doing. The shoot was almost 14 hours and I got home at 2:30 in the morning.

Well I was going to ask if you’re working on anything new, so you’re just coming off that right now? The first day, yeah. It’s for this HBO pilot series that stars Pete Holmes. It’s his life story, supposedly he moved to New York like 10 years ago from the suburbs and he wanted to be a comedian and started going to the Comedy Cellar. … I play the first comic he meets that he’s a fan of. I play myself. I’m on stage after he finds out his wife cheated on him and I kinda feel bad for him. The first episode is me sort of helping him out.

And didn’t you just play yourself in The Jim Gaffigan Show, too? Yeah that’s starting to happen now. I guess all of the legendary shit about me that’s sort of exciting... they like talking about it.

I think it’s refreshing that you’re still one of the comics that is unapologetic. I like to have freedom to say whatever I want to say, and you hope the people you’re saying it to will be smart enough to understand the context you’re saying it … These college kids ironically think they’re so smart, but they boo when you bring up

10 Hops, 10% ABV &100 IBU’s make it a smooth criminal. Twice the alcohol of your average beer makes it a crime.

I’ll always be from a generation where the definition of a comedian is a guy who gets on stage in front of a crowd, so I hate it and I love making fun of it. Some of these comedy club owners hire these idiots who have been on the internet or on Twitter … They’ll say, “We got this guy we found on Twitter last week. It was a sold out crowd and they only did four minutes and people wanted their money back.” I said dude, are you retarded? It surprises you that a guy who’s never left his mother’s basement is not good at stand-up comedy? You deserve to have people wanting their money back.

Well speaking of comedy clubs, you’re going to be at The Valley Forge Casino this weekend. What’s it like performing in these type of venues? I love it, man … Six years after the Howard Stern show I’m still able to sell out venues and it’s very satisfying to meet a bunch of people who work blue collar.

Since we’re talking casino shows. Do you have any advice for me this weekend, because I owe my bookie about $700. OK, I always look at the Packers. If the Packers are on the road giving less than a touchdown I would always go with them. Other than that, I don’t handicap anymore, I can’t look at it because it leads to bad shit, ya know?

Highest Rate d points from Wine Enthusiast

Like any other time, there’s good and bad. A lot of people are rewarded for doing safer comedy. I’ve always like dangerous comedy, where you don’t know what the actors [will] say because that’s entertaining, especially when you have a job or career where you have to play it safe.

Speaking of comedy suffering and being bad, what is your take on the Vine “celebrities” that call themselves comedians but never actually get on stage?

PR Sm

at 96 Rye

What’s your opinion on the current state of comedy?

a nationality, sexual preference or something like that, when they’re dumb because they’re not listening to the context in which you’re saying it. Just because you bring up the word German, or black people, or gay people, it doesn’t mean you’re starting a rally against them. You’re telling a joke about them … I noticed young comics get very scared about taking risks in their routine, they don’t want to offend anyone and that means their creativity is gonna get worse and worse.

Available in PA State Stores

You no longer gamble, right? I wish I could say that for sure, but I fell off the gambling wagon at least 10 weeks ago, but no I don’t do it, I try very hard not to gamble.

Alright, Artie. I’ll let you get back to sleep. Sign up for the podcast!

Sat., Nov. 28, 8pm. Valley Forge Casino, 1160 First Ave., King of Prussia. vfcasino.com.

SAVE 25%

on your 1st purchase zoomroom.me/philweekly 180 West Girard Ave (267) 825-7375 phillyweekly.com | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 17

TOp pRICES pAId for your Records (33s or 45s)

CD’s or DVD’s

NO COLLECTION TOO SMALL or LARGE WE BUY EVERYTHING! Call JON at 215-805-8001 or e-mail: bwsmusic@hotmail.com

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage | Twitter: @FakeDanSavage

Butt beginners

ay 20-year-old boy here. I want some ideas on what kind of anal toys are best for beginners like myself. I’ve already used my fingers, but I want to move up to an actual toy before moving on to an actual boy. A recommendation from you would be great! —Boy Undertaking Tushy Toys They’re not glamorous or groundbreaking, BUTT, but the old reliable butt plug is still the best bet for analplay newbies—gay, straight, or bi. They look like tiny lava lamps, they fit neatly in butts, and anal sphincters hold them firmly in place—freeing up your hands for other things, from jacking yourself off to swiping left or right to writing advice columns. My girlfriend of six months hooked up with one of my buds. They were both drunk at a party, and I was out of town for a sports thing. I wasn’t angry when she “confessed.” I thought it was hot and said we should maybe have a threesome with the dude. I’m not interested in being with a guy, but I’d be down with a M/M/F threesome. So now my girlfriend is furious with me for not being angry. She literally just texted to say she’s not sure she can stay with me because she doesn’t want to be with a guy who wouldn’t care if she slept around on him. What the fuck am I supposed to say to that? —The Wronged Party “Bye.” I love that you use the term “cocksucker” only in a non-pejorative way. I don’t know if you’ve said so explicitly, but I imagine your aim is to remove its negative connotation. As the owner of a cock, I think cocksucking is WONDERFUL! Therefore, cocksuckers are wonderful as well. There needs to be more cocksucking in this world! Following your example, I am trying to use the term only in its literal sense and only in a positive light. Do you have a good substitute word for a person one is not pleased with? —Changing Language Is Terrific How about “kochbrother,” CLIT? Same number of syllables, same explosive/percussive “K” sound at the start, same “er” ending—and our de-

18 | Philly Weekly | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

mocracy (and our environment) would be a lot better off if there were more cocksuckers out there and fewer Koch brothers. I would like some clarification. Does my situation fall into the “when it’s okay to have an affair” category or am I just looking for you to absolve me of guilt? I got divorced a year ago, and I’m 100 percent focused on being a mom during the time my son is with me and helping him through the divorce transition. I met a man who has been married for 20-plus years and I’m having an affair with him. He and his wife spend all of their time taking care of their adult disabled son. He said they have nothing in common but caretaking. He’s never said anything bad about the wife except they’ve grown apart and he can’t (or won’t) leave because of their son. It works for me because he’s the most incredible lover I’ve ever had and he doesn’t bother me or demand attention when I’m busy being a mom. I do have strong feelings for him but no expectation of him leaving his wife to be with me. Does this meet your “okay to cheat” criteria? —Loving Isn’t Always Really Simple Indeed it does, LIARS. Your situation, in fact, is a good example of the kind of affair people rarely hear about and advice professionals pretend don’t exist, i.e., the affair that saves a marriage and improves the lives and lots of everyone involved, whether directly or indirectly. Your marriage is over, of course, but you’re getting your sexual needs met by someone who doesn’t distract you from your son’s needs. And the time your lover spends with you—the intimacy, affirmation, and release you provide him— has doubtless helped to make him a kinder and less resentful companion/ partner and a better father/caretaker. Here’s hoping your lover’s wife is getting the kind of sanity-preserving intimacy, affirmation, and release she needs, too—whether sexual or in some other form. n

There’s more Savage Love! Read more at ph.ly/savage Ask a question: mail@savagelove.net

ADOPTION / FOSTER

FLOOR REFINISHING A-Z FLOOR SANDING.COM • STAINING • REPAIRS • INSTALLATIONS SAND & 3 COATS $1.50 SQ. FT.

866-890-9292

Special Rate for Builders, Contractors & Investors All Work Guaranteed Lic #41576H

Miscellaneous: AIRLINE CAREERS begin here. Get hands on training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial Aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888834-9715

ADOPTION- LOVING STAYHOME MOM & Professional Dad Promise Unconditional Love, Outdoor Adventures, Music. 1-800-567-9772 denise-and-corey.com

ATTN: TRUCK DRIVERS! WERNER IS HIRING! Team & Solo Drivers Needed. No CDL? We can help! 3 wk training avail. Call Career Trucker today! 866-494-7434

Pennsylvania Mentor

MOVING & HAULING

No Job Too big or Small Lic. & insured

Free estimates!

Trash removal BasemenT CleanouTs DeBris removal esTaTes DemoliTion sCrap meTal Whole house GuTs haulinG

215-500-3903 philipsmovingandremoval.com

Be GONE With Your JUNK!

makeadifferenceathome.com

line ad call: FULL SERVICE JUNK REMOVAL Garages - Basements - Entire Houses - Businesses

Have unwanted junk? We haul it away.

267-439-3132 ROOFING

WINDOWS

CJN ROOFING & SIDING

HAPPY WINDOWS

FREE ESTIMATES

Lic & Insured for all your roofing needs

215-881-5328

Shutters, 2-Inch Wood, Pleated Shades, Roman Shades, Drapes, Verticals, Mini-Blinds Discount Price With Installation

what to do where to live

WORD

where to go

OUT!

what to do where to live where to go

what to do where to live

AUTO INSURANCE

Insurance: PA DRIVERS: Auto-Insurance-Help-Line. Helping you find a Car Insurance Payment You can afford. Toll Free 1800-231-3603 www.AutoInsurance-Helpline.ORG

HELP WANTED

AUTOS FOR SALE

Call for Estimate.

NEW RUBBER & SHINGLE ROOFING Ask For C REPAIR WORK huck I WILL G ROOF COATINGS THAT LE ET AK GUTTER & SPOUTS FALL 10% OFF shingle and flat roof maintenance ALL NEW package FLAT ROOFS from $139.00

Education/Training: CONSTRUCTION TRAINING! CANDIDATES NEEDED NOW! Learn Plumbing, Heating, Drywall, Carpentry & Building Maintenance. NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED! Training completed at Orleans Tech in Philadelphia! 1888-368-1964 Education/Training: MEDICAL BILLING SKILLS IN DEMAND! Become a Medical Office Assistant! NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED! Online training gets you job ready! HS Diploma/GED & PC/Internet needed! 1-888-424-9412

GET THE

where to go

The path to your dream job begins with a college degree. Education Quarters offers a free college matching service. CALL 1-800-375-6219

To place your 215-354-3054

CAREER TRAINING

Adoption: ADOPTION: Incredibly loving, young couple wants to give your baby a warm, caring, happy home with every advantage. Expenses paid. Call/text: Rebecca & David 646-378-9326

DONATE YOUR CAR, TRUCK OR BOAT TO HERITAGE FOR THE BLIND. Free 3 Day Vacation, Tax Deductible, Free Towing, All Paperwork Taken Care Of. CALL 1-800-895-7416 GOT AN OLDER CAR Boat or RV? Do the humane thing. Donate it to the Humane Society. Call 1-800-758-2204.

Call Eileen

215-465-7525

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY Explore Owning Your Own Franchise in the Lucrative Retirement/ Estate Planning Industry. Go to: www.apgfranchise.com or call Chelsie at: 973-831-4424.

DRIVERS Local, Road & Team Drivers Must have clean CDL A HM/T, Clean MVR. Benefits include Medical, Dental, Vision 401k. Pay commensurate w/exp. Sign on bonus for teams. Call 877-572-5500 x3041 www.uslogisticsnj.com Help Wanted Drivers: Drivers: CDL A or B to transfer vehicles from and to various locations throughout U.S. –No forced dispatch- Run as much as you want!! Safety Incentives. Apply online at www.mamotransportation. com under Careers or call- 1800-501-3783

To place your

line ad call: 215-354-3054

EXPERIENCED MIG WELDERSQUALITY AND SAFETY COORDINATORAND LABORERS SJ Waste Handling Equipment Manufacturer Looking to hire Welders, a Quality and Safety Coordinator and Laborers for our NJ Facility. A Full, Benefit Package Including: Vacation & Holiday, Medical, RX, Dental, 401K, Disability & Life Insurance and More. Please Fill out an Application @ Wastequip 1031 Hickstown Rd Erial, NJ or 506 New Brooklyn Road & Filbert St. Williamstown, NJ 08094 or call 856-545-5851 NJ Transit Stop Close By Drug Screen Required EOE, A/A GENERAL HELP $8.00-$10.00/hr. Plus incentive. Flexible Schedules. Interview Today Start Tomorrow. 215-271-0188. Help Wanted Drivers: Werner Enterprises wants YOU! Great Pay, Home-time, Benefits, & New Equipment! Need your CDL? 3-4 wk training avail! Don’t wait, call Career Trucker to get started! 866-494-8633

LEGAL/NOTICES MACnet Classified network program allows advertisers to reach the Mid-Atlantic Region PennSCAN Classified network program allows advertisers to reach all across Pennsylvania

NOTICE IS GIVEN that TNS Diamonds Inc. did on November 18th, 2015, submit to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, department of Banking and Securities, an application for renewal licensure of a pawnbroker office at this location as follows: 136 S 8th St. Unit A, Philadelphia, PA 19107. All interested persons may file written comments in favor of or in opposition to the application for renewal with the Pawnbroker Hearing Officer at: PA Department of Banking and Securities Non-Depository Licensing Office 17 N. 2nd St., Ste 1300, Harrisburg, PA 17101. All comments to be considered must be received by the Department within thirty (30) days from the date of this newspaper publication. SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY BENEFITS. Unable to work? Denied Benefits? We Can Help! WIN or Pay Nothing! Contact Bill Gordon & Associates at 1-800-208-6915 to start your application today!

To place your

line ad call: 215-354-3054

FIND US ONLINE! PHILLY

WEEKLY .COM

phillyweekly.com | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 19

MEDICAL / HEALTH

DIABETES OR PROSTATE CANCER? Your sex life can now survive FREE booklet by doctor reveals what the drug companies don’t want you to know!

$50 VALUE!

For a limited time, Dr. Michael J. Trombley, Board Certified Physician will mail all men that respond to this ad a free copy of his new booklet “Seven Secrets Doctors and Drug Companies Don’t Want You to Know about Erectile Dysfunction.” He’s so sure this booklet will change your life he will even pay the postage and handling. If the popular pills don’t work for you, regardless of your age or medical history, you owe it to yourself and your lady to read this booklet now! Call (800) 794-7974 24-hrs. and leave your name and address (only).

EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY All real estate advertised in this newspaper is subject to federal, state and localfair housing laws, which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation, or discriminationbased on race; color; religion;sex; disability; familial; (presence of children);national origin; age (Pennsylvania and New Jersey); martial status or sexual orientation(Pennsylvania and New Jersey), or source of Income (Philadelphia only) in the sale, rentalor financing or insuring of housing. This paper will not knowingly accept any advertisingfor real estate which violates these laws. The law requires that all dwellings advertised beavailable on an equal opportunity basis. If you believe you have been discriminated againstin connection with the sale, rent, financing or insuring of housing or commercial property,call HUD at 1-888-799-2085

APTS. FOR RENT 20TH & PINE AREA: LG studio w/ separate eat in kit, hrdwd flrs. $750 + cooking gas & elect. Heat is includ'd. Contact 215.735.8414

ACORN STAIRLIFTS. The AFFORDABLE solution to your stairs! **Limited time$250 OFF Your Stairlift Purchase!** Buy Direct & SAVE. Please call 1-800-410-7127 for FREE DVD and brochure. Got Knee Pain? Back Pain? Shoulder Pain? Get a pain-relieving brace - little or NO cost to you. Medicare Patients Call Health Hotline Now! 1-800419-3684.

p h i l l ywe e k l y. c o m

where to go • what to do • where to live

OLD CITY- LOFT 108 Market / 3rd Fl. View of BF Bridge, Open Area, Wood Floors, Exposed Brick Wall, w/d, g/d, d/w $1195+/Mo. rcitinar@aol.com or 215-627-4414

SAFE STEP WALK-IN TUB Alert for Seniors. Bathroom falls can be fatal. Approved by ONE BEDROOM Arthritis Foundation. TheraHOUSES FOR RENT peutic Jets. Less Than 4 inch 9TH & FITZWATER- LARGE, Step-in. Wide Door. Anti-Slip DECK & W/D. AVAILABLE 3RD & MOYAMENSING Floors. American Made. In- NOW. 215.915.5347 Brand new,fully loaded,3Brms stallation included. Call $1500/mo+. 215-718-4932 1-800-906-3115 for $750 Off. TWO BEDROOM

MISCELLANEOUS

GARAGES FOR RENT/SALE

GET THE

WORD

OUT!

Advertise to 500,000 Homes with a business card size ad. You choose the area of coverage in free community papers... we do the rest. Call 800-450-7227 or visit macnetonline.com SHOP YOUR FAVORITE SMALL BUSINESS RETAIL STORE!!! NOVEMBER 28TH IS SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY! Many of your favorite small business stores and shops will have the perfect holiday gifts on sale. PLAN TO SHOP WITH YOUR FAVORITE SMALL BUSINESSES YOU SEE IN THIS PUBLICATION. Sponsored by Mid-Atlantic Community Papers Association. www.macpa.net www.macnetonline.com HOLDING A CARNIVAL! Fair! Festival! Jubilee! Promote it to over 1 Million readers for only $200!!! Visit www.midatlanticevents.net for more details or call 800-450-7227. Miscellaneous: SAWMILLS from only $4397.00 – MAKE & SAVE MONEY with your own bandmill – Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship! FREE info/DVD: www. NorwoodSawmills.com 1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N

OLD CITY (6 S. Front/2nd Fl.) 1BR, 1BA, approx. 1000 s/f. Overlooking Delaware River, carpeted, c/a, w/d, d/w, g / d $ 1 3 9 5 + / M o . rcitinar@aol.com or 215-6274414

LAND FOR SALE

LOTS & ACREAGE SO. ADK LAKEFRONT LAND & CABIN SALE! Sat. Dec. 5th! One Day Only! 111 acres- Pristine Lake$194,900 50 acres- Lakefront CabinTHREE + BEDROOM $199,900 7 tracts with lakes, streams, 22ND & FEDERAL cabins & State Land! 3 hrs NY 3 B r m s . , b a t h , a l l n e w , C / A , City! Last chance this year! Patio in back,lg. back yard. Terms avail! 888-738-6994 $975/mo. 215-292-2176 WoodworthLakePreserve.com

DRIVING RESULTS “We have been happy customers of the Philadelphia Weekly for 16 years. PW is the ideal place to place your real estate ads. Not only are we pleased with their level of customer service and our representative, we also receive excellent leads from our ads we place. Thanks to PW we have had great success in renting center city apartments.”

H ME Find your new home or apartment in the pages of Philly Weekly.

OPEN HOUSES CALL 215.563.1234

DEADLINES: Display ads - Fridays @ 10 a.m. | Line ads - Mondays @ 4:30 p.m.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 29TH 12:00PM to 1:00PM 1504 S. 5th Street Pennsport $429,900 428 Catharine Street Queen Village $454,900

1:30PM to 2:30PM 125 Christian Street Queen Village $480,000 745 S. Randolph Street Queen Village $229,900

3:00PM to 4:00PM 717 Columbus Blvd, Unit 507 Dockside Queen Village $499,000

Tiffany Delio, Leasing Associate

phillyweekly.com

MICHAEL SINGER REAL ESTATE

20 | Philly Weekly | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

phillyweekly.com/real-estate/open-house/

ichael inger Real Estate

Over 50 years in the real estate business

SATURDAY APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE from 12:30-4:30pm Please call to arrange a viewing RITTENHOUSE SQUARE FITLER SQUARE THE CHATHAM: WALNUT & 20TH - Studios and One bedrooms in High Rise Doorman bldg w/Magnificent Western & Southern exposure, View of Rittenhouse Square, HW Floors, Laundry on site, Professionally Managed. AVAILABLE NOW and JANUARY! ALL UTILITIES INCLUDED! $1,350/$1485 DELANCEY & 17th – Beautiful One bedroom with a Den, HW floors, Hi-ceilings, laundry on premises, prestigious neighborhood, Bright, AVAIL for immediate occupancy! $1,285 CHRISTIAN & 22nd – Spacious Four Bed Townhome, H/W Floors, Yard and Basement, W/D, Bright, Lots of closet space, Hi ceilings, Avail Now! DOGS ARE MOST WELCOMED! $2,250 SPRUCE & 22ND – Newly remodeled studio, h/f, hot water and gas incl, laundry on premises, heat, hot water and gas cooking included, Avail Now! $885

OUR RECORD SPEAKS FOR ITSELF. KATHY, PATRICK

SOCIETY HILL WASHINGTON SQUARE WEST/ MIDTOWN VILLAGE

& The Conway Team conwayteam.com • kathy@conwayteam.com 215-266-1537 • 215-627-6005

Happy Thanksgiving! There’s no place like home! Especially this time of year when our Thoughts turn to Family, Friends, Holidays, Turkey, & Warmth - all comes to mind. We have Much to be Thankful for - Living in such a Wonderful Neighborhood and having the Opportunity to meet & Serve such Great People and now being able to call them Friends & Neighbors. It has been our Pleasure to help you find or Sell your Home. We are Thankful & Grateful to all of You!

Looking to advertise real estate? Contact jay@phillyweekly for more information.

THE IMPERIAL – BROAD & SPRUCE - Studio in Hi-rise Elevator Building, Great Location, Hardwood Floors, A/C, Full Kitchens, Laundry on Premise, Avail. NOW GAS INCLUDED! $795 THE CLAREMONT – CLINTON & 10th – Beautifully Renovated One Bedroom w/ Granite Countertop & Stainless Steel Appliances, D/W, Ceiling Fans, Luxurious Bath, Gorgeous Hardwood Floors , Laundry on Premise, Avail. Now! ALL UTILITES INCLUDED! $1,375 CLINTON PLACE – PINE & 11th – Bright & Cheery studio w/ view of Kahn Park, Elevator Building, H/W Floors, Laundry on Premise, Avail. Now! HEAT/HOT WATER INCLUDED $925

1117 Spruce St

215-925-RENT michaelsingerrealestate.com

LOMBARD & 12th – Spacious Two Bedroom w/ Lots of natural sunlight, Beautiful H/W, C/A, W/D, D/W, & Storage Unit Provided, Avail. NOW! FIRST MONTH FREE RENT $1,585 LOMBARD & 8th – Spacious Bi-level One Bedroom w/ Loft, Hardwood Floors, Decorative Red Brick Fireplace, Central Air, Laundry on Premise, Storage Unit Provided, Avail. Now! $1,285

I Love You, I Hate You

...is BACK!

phillyweekly.com | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | Philly Weekly | 21

W W W. M C C A N N T E A M . C O M

THINKING OF SELLING? CALL 215.778.0901 THINKING OF BUYING? CALL 215.440.8345

You can either

go along for the

ride or. . .

Go Solo. If you’re looking for your first home, don’t let those big city real estate brokers take you for a ride. Solo Real Estate can steer you in the right direction and make your first real estate experience enjoyable, uncomplicated and straightforward.

SOLO REAL ESTATE, INC. 2017 CHANCELLOR STREET • PHILADELPHIA, PA 19103 TELEPHONE 215.564.7656 • FACSIMILE 215.564.7893 SOLOREALTY.COM

WASHINGTON SQ WEST

$650,000

Stunning 3BD/3.5 BA condo with parking in prime location featuring immense light, soaring ceiling and dramatic living spaces. This unit begins with a gorgeous living room with wood burning fireplace, hardwood flooring, two oversized north facing windows. This level also offers a sitting room/den/office and steps down to a fantastic chefs kitchen. On the second find the large master bedroom with tons of features. See this luxury condo today!

MANAYUNK

$265,000

This gorgeous rehabbed twin in Manayunk can be the home you have been waiting for. Brand new windows and recessed lighting accent the hardwood flooring and open layout of the first floor. Kitchen has been completely updated with never been used stainless steel appliances. Second floor has two large bedrooms both with ceiling fans and ample closet/storage space. Back patio is covered and leads to a yard.

NORTHERN LIBERTIES

$825,000

Brand new construction, 3-4BD/3.5BA in the heart of Northern Liberties. On the second floor you’ll find the wide open main living and dining space with wood flooring and walk-in closet. The beautiful, contemporary chef’s kitchen. Behold the spacious master bedroom suite, occupying the entire fourth floor, and featuring a balcony and two walk-in closets. The finished lower level makes a great den or 4th bedroom. Also features a garage and tax abatement.

Hurry!

Looking to advertise lasT long real estate AvAilAble for or open rent BIG & BEAUTIFUL houses? Contact This one won’T

2 bedroom Bi-level apartment located at Lombard & 11th. Completely renovated, granite counter tops, brand new carpeting, all appliances included, and self controlled heating & cooling.

jay@phillyweekly.com for more information.

Please call

SOCIETY HILL

$700,000

Fantastic 3BR, 2-1/2 bath 3-story home with handsome facade historic plaque marble steps and window shutters in one of the finest locations in the city! Enter through vestibule into open living/dining space with hardwood flooring, gas fireplace, ornate wood mantle, crown molding, light fixture with ceiling medallion, and tiled powder room with pedestal sink and shelving. High end kitchen with a breakfast nook lead out to a delightful garden. Includes 1 year pre-paid parking! Truly a must see!

FRANCISVILLE

$439,000

New construction 3BD/3BA home at one of the hottest locations in Philadelphia. Sitting on a street to street lot with huge outdoor space that may be able to be used as a private Parking spot!!! ROOFDECK with skyline views, TAX ABATEMENT, Custom kitchen with granite countertops, stainless steel appliance package, stylish backsplash and more. Three sleekly tiled full baths. Amazing master suite with walk-in closet luxurious bathroom and so much more!! This home will sell fast!

Check out our video to get to know Mike & his team- you can find it at www.mccannteam.com! 22 | Philly Weekly | November 26 - December 2, 2015 | phillyweekly.com

SOCIETY HILL

$2,100,000

Pristine and immaculate 6BD/5.5BA Society Hill masterpiece built in 1837 and designed by Thomas U. Walter, founding member of the American Institute of Architects, now completely restored from top to bottom in all its historic glory. Features range from beautiful wood floorings to a unique, custom wood and steel circular stairway, 6 zoned HVAC, tremendous light from all three exposures, an elevator and all-new kitchen, bathrooms and mechanicals.

Office

215.627.6005 Direct

215.440.8345

610-457-0939

to tour this amazing apartment

HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM

PHILLY WEEKLY