Philly Weekly 5-18-2016

5.19.16 - 5.25.16

MALCOLM JENKINS IS WATCHING YOU

The Celebrity Judge for Preakness at the Piazza models for us Hump! on Sat. Night | Margaret Cho | Going Dutch in Pennsport Photo by Revati Doshi

You’re invited

to take advantage of this special offer as we host our first Pop-Up Comedy Night, featuring

“Ridiculously Fun” - New York Post

“Hilarious” - Bloomberg

NOW - JULY 17

ANTHONY DEVITO!

Thursday, May 19, 2016 For One Night Only!

Guests are invited to take part in a 3-course prix fixe dinner... followed by a special comedy event! With $50, you receive a delicious dinner,

FOR TICKETS VISIT:

WalnutStreetTheatre.org OR CALL 215-574-3550 OR 800-982-2787 SPONSORED BY

MEDIA PARTNERS

and

FREE admission to the pop-up comedy show that follows.

Seating will be from 6pm - 7:30pm.

The show starts promptly at 8:30pm

Brought to you by: GELOS Productions

To reserve your table (including a prix fixe dinner and admission to the show) Call 215-923-8208 or email us: info@cibophiladelphia.com

Cibo is now serving brunch! w/ complimentary mimosa

Saturday & Sunday 11:00pm - 3:00pm also offers Beautiful out side seating & Private balcony OFFICE PARTY - CORPORATE EVENT REHEARSAL DINNER- GRADUATIONS PARTY Trade show, a retirement party, a roast of the CEO, a golf outing (or any hospitality event for your clients)

Make your reservation now ! (215) 923-8208 | http://www.opentable.com/cibo-ristorante-italiano-philadelphia

CIBOPHILADELPHIA.COM | 1227 WALNUT ST | PHILADELPHIA | CLUBMOUSAI.COM

WEd., MAy 18

IN THIS ISSUE:

3 PhILLy NOW

BE NE FIT

Party in the Playground

What to do this week

Who says playgrounds are just for kids? This adults-only soiree benefits Smith Memorial Playground & Playhouse and will ofer hors d’oeuvres, drinks and games for all in attendance. In addition, the Ida Newman Magic of Play Award will be presented to founding Board member Susan Jafe. 6pm. $75. Smith Me­

8 FEATURE Preakness at the Piazza

13 SCREEN Exhumed Films

14 FOOd Dutch opens in Pennsport

morial Playground, 3500 Reser­ voir Dr. smithplayground.org

16 COMEdy

FUNd RAISER

Margaret Cho heads to town

Philly Loves PAWS day

Shop and eat at more than 100 local businesses today and 10 percent of your purchase will be donated to PAWS. Participating businesses inclyde Crash Bang Boom, barKadelphia, Race Street Cafe, Smak Parlor and more.

17 FILM Dan Savage’s HUMP!

18 SAVAGE LOVE Guilt Ridden

phillylovespaws.org

19 REAL ESTATE 21 CLASSIFIEd

Photo by M. Fischetti for Visit Philadelphia

CONNECT WITH US! Facebook: Philly Weekly Twitter: @phillyweekly Instagram: @phillyweekly

Jay Sterin General manager Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 163 jay@phillyweekly.com

Jacqueline Rupp Editor-in-chief jacqueline@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyjackie

Anastasia Barbalios Managing editor anastasia@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyweekly

PHILLY WEEKLY 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400.

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RPM PHILLY, LLC Philly Weekly is published Wednesday by RPM Philly, LLC, 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400. Distributed in Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery & Chester counties in Pennsylvania and selected other locations in southern New Jersey. Philly Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into a newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the management. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising. Contents copyright © 2016 by Philly Weekly. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

Philly Now

WhAT TO dO IN & AROUNd ThE CITy • MORE AT PHILLYWEEKLY.COM Tell us about your upcoming events! Email info to managing editor Anastasia Barbalios at: events@phillyweekly.com

OUTdOOR

Italian Market Festival

Y

ou can’t visit Philly without exploring Ninth Street. More than just the place where Rocky Balboa jogged while training, it’s also the home of Philly’s best Italian fare.

This neighborhood has a clear passion for food.

This weekend, the South 9th Street Italian Market Festival kicks of in South Philly, showcasing the finest Italian food and drinks, around. As usual, this year’s festival stretches around the fabulous historic Italian Market area.

Specialty foods, fresh produce at cheap prices, restaurants, butcher shops, food trucks: You can find everything here and eat well in the process.

The country’s oldest outdoor market has an oldfashioned presence with produce vendors lined up along the sidewalk. Copious sidewalk food carts are full of fresh seasonings and every assortment of produce available. Besides the abundance of great and afordable cuisine, don’t miss out on loads of special events this week. The festival features the Procession of Saints, the John Marzano Halfball Tournament and four concert

stages with live performances. At the Washingtong Avenue Stage (Hosted by Philly Weekly) catch performances by The 1910 Fruit Gum Company, DJ Donny Chiro, Jerry Blavat, and the City Rhythm Orchestra. Visit the Family Fun Zone at the Pat’s King of Steaks Block Party Stage at Federal Street, where kids can create arts and crafts, listen to music and stories, play in bouncies and more. And on Sunday, head to CK Auto Image’s third annual all make/model Car Show, which benefits the PDAC. In addition to ofering entertainment and international delicacies, the festival will also contribute philanthropic donations. Philly’s famed Pat’s and Geno’s will donate a portion of the day’s proceeds to the Veterans Multi Service Center, a charitable nonprofit that benefits military veterans. —ROB WELLS

May 21­22. 11am­6pm. italianmarketphilly.org

ThURS., MAy 19 OUT dOORS

Pairings on the Parkway

Pack a picnic and head to Sister Cities Park for an outdoor BYOB party featuring live music. This week’s performance features Nelly’s Echo, who appeared on season three of NBC’s “The Voice.” 5:30­7:30pm. Free. Sister

Cities Park, 18th Street & the Benjamin Franklin Parkway. ccdparks.org AUT hOR

Moby: Porcelain

The electronic music mogel has sold more than 20 million records worldwide and worked as a video game score composer, producer, DJ, photographer, and essayist. His memoir, “Porcelain,” chronicles his musical journey and career. 7pm. Free.

Central Library, 1901 Vine St. freelibrary.org STAGE

Sister Act

This beloved movie-turnedmusical follows the story of singer Deloris Van Cartier, who after witnessing a crime, must hide away in the last place people would expect her—a convent. Through July 17. Walnut

Street Theatre, 825 Walnut St. walnutstreettheatre.org

phillyweekly.com | May 19 - 25, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 3

FRIDAy, MAy 20

MOMIX: Photo by Charles Azzopardi

DA N C E

EVENT

Directed by MOMIX’s artistic director Moses Pendleton, “Opus Cactus” is an homage to the American Southwest and features low-flying trapeze, vaulting poles, puppets and constructed costumes. The unique score includes Bach, tribal, new age and contemporary music. Through May 22. $37-$57.

Paint and sketch some of the city’s most beautiful dancers during this special art event at Cheerleader’s nightclub. Judges will select three pieces as “Best in Show.” Their creators will join Cheerleaders Artist in Residence, Melissa Liegner, for a seven-week guest residency, which includes unlimited admission for two, and a $100 food and drink tab. 8pm. Cheerleaders, 2740 S.

MOMIX in Opus Cactus The Art of the Dancer

Prince Theater, 1412 Chestnut St. princetheater.org STAG E

The Invisible Hand

How far would you go to survive? That and more is probed in this suspenseful and endorphin rushing story of Nick Bright, an American employee and successful investment banker who’s kidnapped by an Islamic militant group in Pakistan. With no one to negotiate his release, Bright must make questionably moral decisions. Playwright Ayad Akhtar pierces the undue silence about the embroiled Middle East and shows just how far man will go to live another day. Through June 5. $10-$35. Theatre

Exile, 1340 S. 13th St. theatreexile.org P E R FO R M A N C E

Cirque Goes to the Movies

The Philly POPS perform classic music from blockbuster movies, including Star Wars, Harry Potter, Titanic and Mission Impossible, while Cirque acrobats perform death-defying feats. Acrobats, jugglers, and aerial flyers will soar high above the heads of The Philly POPS as they perform this special concert. May

20-22. Verizon Hall, Kimmel Center for Performing Arts, 300 S. Broad St. phillypops.org/cirque 4 | Philly Weekly | May 19 - 25, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Front St. cheerleadersphiladelphia.com DA N C E

Philadelphia International Tango Festival

The four day Philadelphia International Tango Festival brings the sensual Argentine dance to local enthusiasts, with tons of workshops and classes.

Festival instructors include Gustavo Naveira and Giselle Anne; Alejandro Larenas and Marisol Morales; Marcelo Gutierrez and Ines Muzzopappa; and Andres Amarilla and Meredith Klein.

philadelphiatangofestival.com FUNDRAISER

Elixir: The Cure for the Common Gala

The Mazzoni Center’s annual fundraising party will feature music, dancing, food, drinks, and special performances

by Brian Sanders’ JUNK and ArcheDream for Humankind. Proceeds from this event will support Mazzoni’s building campaign, which will help consolidate and streamline all operations under one roof, allowing the organization to continue to provide services to the LGBTQ community. 6pm. Lubert

Plaza, Thomas Jefferson University, 1001 Locust St. mazzonicenter.org

ART

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by JACQuelIne Rupp @PhillyJackie

Craft PHILA W

ith the arts and craft market festival Craft Phila coming to Independence Mall this weekend, here’s a look at a few of the artisans and their creations you’ll find at this year’s event.

to quit her job to focus on her art full time recently. “My favorite pieces right now are the large serving bowls with intricately cut rims. They are functional and decorative center piece bowls that make a great statement in any living space.

Izy and Oly If you’re ever stuck trying to figure out what to bring to a housewarming or other celebration of domesticity, Izy and Oly have got the household textile gifts for you. From too cute dog bowl placements to a rainbow of napkins (from reversible to cocktail), owner Keri Bass says her inspiration for starting the textile line came from her love of always making things for friends (along with being a mom to a toddler). “My favorite pieces currently (there are a few) are some new placemats that are called looped. They are a really high quality upholstery fabric that looks great on either side of the fabric.

I have some new styles of napkins that I am so loving how happy they are with bright summer colors and fun styles like apples and flowers.”

MacGregor Art After moving to Philadelphia three years ago from the West coast, artist Marilyn MacGregor provides a fresh take on the neighborhoods and familiar places we know so well with her fine art prints. From her Reading Terminal Market series to scenes of Washington Square and South Street, MacGregor creates her prints from original sketchbook drawings that become awash with bursts of color.

Katherine Cheetham Glass

Stover Ceramics Handmade in The Clay Studio in Old City, Megan Stover creates ceramic lanterns, mugs and decor pieces, most with a trademark geometric “window” design. Growing up with multi-generations of ceramicists, Stover says she was wheel throwing clay as a kindergartener. She made the bold move

After graduating from Salem Community College as a scientific glass technologist, Cheetham randomly took a glass fusing class when someone offered to buy the first piece she created; several commissioned requests followed. The last six years, Cheetham has spent building her art glass business, with a focus on seasonally natural subjects, employing multi-layered glass and copper panels into many of her pieces.

May 21-22. 10am-7pm. Free. Historic District, Market St. between 6th and 7th. craftphila.org

phillyweekly.com | May 19 - 25, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 5

Live from the Lot

Saturday, May 21 MuSIC

Live from the Lot

Presented by Ardmore Music Hall, the annual jazz, soul, and funk music festival features two stages playing interlocking sets by jazz-fusion superstars Snarky Puppy, The Revivalists, and soul-jazz organ trio Soulive with special guests Karl Denson, Snarky Puppy horns, and Nigel Hall of Lettuce. Other performers at the weekendlong fest include Foundation of Funk, The Greyboy Allstars, Marco Benevento, Charlie Hunter, Pimps of Joytime, Superhuman Happiness and High & Mighty Brass Band. May 21-22. Outside Ardmore Music Hall, 23

Lancaster Ave., Ardmore. livefromthelot.com art

Craft Phila

Back for two weekends, Craft Phila makes its first weekend debut today, with, as always, free admission and tons of exciting surprises. Steps from the iconic Liberty Bell, artists, artisans, art enthusiasts and anyone who loves to shop, will gather together over the weekend to sell, purchase or just lust after an array of art and crafts pieces ranging from ceramics and fiber to leather, glass and wood, along with metalwork, jewelry, accessories, mixed media, photography and fine art. May 21-22 and Sept. 17-18. 10am-7pm. Free. Historic

District, Market and Chestnut Streets between 6th and 7th Streets. craftphila.org OutdOOr

trenton avenue arts Festival

The annual celebration of East Kensington features more than 200 local arts and food vendors, and draws more than 10,000 people to help raise money for local neighborhood projects. The event also features the crowd-favorite Kinetic Sculpture Derby, which features homemade human-powered vehicles com6 | Philly Weekly | May 19 - 25, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

peting for Best Art, Best Engineering, Best Costume and more. 11am-6pm. Free. Trenton and Norris Streets.

Free. Church of the Advocate, 1801 W. Diamond St. celebrationofblackwriting.org

kinetickensington.org ruN

tough Mudder

Test your limits during this 10-12 mile course featuring 20 near-impossible obstacles, 500,000 gallons of mud and 40 tons of ice. Spectators are welcome to help energize the competitors. Plantation Field, 387 Green Valley

Rd., Coatesville. toughmudder.com

COMEdy

What’s My Line? 2-year anniversary

Plays and Players pays homage to the classic TV game show during this live comedy two-year anniversary show. Four panelists will question contestants in order to determine their unusual occupations. Featuring Tim Butterly, Christian Alsis, Kate Banford and Ari Fishbein, and hosted by Dave Metter. 8:30pm. $5. Plays and Play-

ers, 1714 Delancey Pl. goodgoodcomedy.com StaGE

underground railroad Game

Creators and performers Jennifer Kidwell and Scott Sheppard delve into the topics of race, power, and sex during this reboot of their sold-out 2015 Fringe Festival show. Two middle school teachers make their Civil War class more impactful by creating a game that divides students into opposing armies tasked with capturing or helping runaway “slaves.” 8pm. $15-$29. FringeArts, 140

LGBt

NHC Pride Parade

The grand finale to the week long Pride festival is an hour long good time with colorful floats, bands, and an expected 15,000 spectators on New Hope’s Main Street.

Noon. Free. Starts in Lambertville and ends on Waterloo St. in New Hope. newhopecelebrates.com

N. Columbus Blvd. fringearts.com

EVENt

art

The famous podcasting duo are touring together doing stand-up based on their wildly popular show. Made up of actor, writer, and comedian Bryan Calen and former UFC fighter Brandan Schaub, the two are so opposite that they complement each other perfectly. 8pm. $25-

Painting a Healthy City

Head to Malcolm X Park to help paint a mural-in-progress by artists James Burns and Eric Okdeh and explore available mental health services. Presented by Porch Light Department and Mural Arts, the event uses art to promote health and well-being in Philadelphia. 11am.

Free. Malcolm X Park, 5100 Pine St. muralarts.org OutdOOr

Celebration of Black arts Outdoor Street Festival and Concert

Art Sanctuary hosts an outdoor street festival and concert featuring workshops, panel discussions, film screenings, author readings and much more. 2-6pm.

the Fighter and the Kid Live

$100. The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St. thetroc.com COMEdy

this delinquent Life

Chris Stenta delves into his delinquent world with the help of hilarious correspondents, animations, and stories. This months topic is Art and Fashion. Featuring Steve Miller-Miller and Ryan Shaner. 11:30pm. $5.

Plays and Players Theater, 1714 Delancey St. goodgoodcomedy.com

suNdAy, MAy 22 TO uR

Wine Tasting with Mike McGrath

Take a tour of the 75-acre Hopewell Winery with Mike McGrath (host of “You Bet Your Garden”). McGrath will describe the role native plants play in the creation of wine and lead a tour through the building where the grapes are processed. After the tour, enjoy a live jazz concert while sampling brick-oven fired pizza paired with a variety of award winning wines. 2:30pm. $50. Hopewell Winery, 46 Yard Rd., Pennington, N.J. whyy.org/events

FOO d & d RINK

sausage Fest Philly

Sample sausage-inspired dishes from local restaurants, including Undrgrnd Donuts, The Flying Deutschman, Maglio Sausage Company, and Samosa Deb, then wash it all down with craft beer and drinks from St. Benjamin, Victory and Barefoot Wines. Noon. $10. 23rd Street

Armory, 22 S. 23rd St. wheretoeat.in/2016-sausage-fest-philly

MONdAy, MAy 23 PER FO R M ANCE

Reverend Billy in Philly

Performance artist and eco/anti-consumerism activist Reverend Billy celebrates his new book & album, “The Earth Wants YOU” with a performance at Fergie’s Pub featuring his band, “The Fiery Eagles of Justice.” 7pm. Fergies Pub, 1214 Sansom St. fergies.com

TuEsdAy, MAy 24 FOOd & d RINK

The Porch

Food trucks converge on The Porch and every month will welcome a new lineup to the urban oasis. This month, enjoy Mondays with Meat Wagon BBQ and Hai Street Kitchen, Tuesday with Jerry’s Kitchen and Whilrly Pig, Wednesday with Oink and Moo BBQ and Taco Mondo and close out the week with Bombay Local Pizza and Waffles food truck. Hosted by University City District. 11:30am-2:30pm. Porch at 30th Street Station. universitycity.org

CRAFT BEER & BOURBON BAR WITH GASTROPUB STYLE FARE

Best Happy Hour in the City!

1/2 O

FF DRA 25 ROTATING FTS, CRAFT DRAFTS OWNERS: CHEF ERIC PARASKEVAS & ELENA FETFATZES

BAINBRIDGESTREETBARRELHOUSE.COM UNTAPPD.COM/V/BAINBRIDGE-STREET-BARRELHOUSE/459884

625-27 S. 6TH ST. | PHILA., PA | 267-324-3553 @BARRELHOUSEPHL

@BAINBRIDGESTBARRELHOUSE phillyweekly.com | May 19 - 25, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 7

Double breasted navy blazer with plaid pants and blue and orange floral print bow tie.

“I wanted to wear something that represented the colors of MS awareness, so I chose a blue and orange bow tie and built the rest of the outfit around that.”

FEATURE

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by JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

Sharp Dressed Man W

hen Malcolm Jenkins isn’t playing Safety for the Eagles at the Linc or turning up the heat on Instagram (have you seen his shirtless pics?), he’s designing bow ties. Obvy, right? Rock Avenue is a label of bow ties, pocket squares and other gentlemanly accessories created by the defensive back. So it’s no wonder that the organizers of Preakness at the Piazza have been after him to be a fashion judge for the event, finally snagging him this year. We caught up with Jenkins at the Piazza prior to the Preakness and spent the day playing dress up with stuff straight out of his own closet.

So your Rock Avenue label is named after the town where you grew up? What are some of your best memories of Piscataway?

It was 2010, and I was trying to stand out in a locker room full of people that could afford nice clothing but all tended to wear the same things.

What are you going to be looking for as a fashion judge at Preakness, do you have a plan in place?

Is there anything we should wear to catch your attention? It’s really not what you wear but how you wear it. I like a little originality or individuality because it shows me a glimpse of your personality.

What’s the process like for you of designing your pieces, where does your inspiration come from?

Yes, I can remember vividly walking up and down Rock Avenue going to and from Arbor Elementary School carrying an orchestra bass that was bigger than me!

When we start to plan out what styles we are looking to add to our collection, I always ask what is it that I want to see on myself? I never want to make anything that I wouldn’t wear myself. So, when I go looking for fabrics, I often have my own closet in mind.

When did you first pick up on the bow tie concept?

Can you give us a hint as to what you’ll be wearing

8 | Philly Weekly | May 19 - 25, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

PHOTOS by REvATI DOSHI @RevatiDoshi

Malcolm Jenkins brings style and flair to this week’s Preakness at the Piazza. to the Preakness? It will be a game-time decision. I usually don’t put my outfits together until the day before an event. But I can say that the word on the street is that pin stripes are making a comeback.

What do your teammates think of your side career? They love it! I’m always getting approached for fashion tips.

Is there anyone on the team that needs some fashion help? you don’t have to name names... unless you want to.

Now that we will all have to wear coat and tie to the games this year, I’m sure there will be a lot of the team dressed in Rock Avenue products.

It’s almost summer, what fashion mistake would you like to eliminate from the city this season?

There are no fashion mistakes when you have confidence. The key to fashion, in my opinion, is that when

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phillyweekly.com | May 19 - 25, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 9

“I don’t often wear the loud and bright-colored pants and jackets like you would normally see at a Derby event. But staying with the Derby theme, I figured I would put together a “whiskey inspired” outfit. The attention grabbing blazer with solid brown pants, brown shoes, and a brown fedora say Derby like a fresh Mint Julep.

And if you’re a person who like details, make sure you don’t miss the Ostrich Skinned bow tie.”

you want to take a fashion risk you have to own it. The difference between being a joke and a trendsetter (most of the time) is the confidence you have in what you have on.

Where do you get the names for your ties? We name our ties after whatever thoughts come to mind when we look at the fabric. We want the names to tell a story about the tie.

What do you think of the new defensive coordinator, Jim Schwartz and the switch back to wide-nine? This will be my

Hard Work Beats Talent When Talent Doesn’t Work Hard

400 Walnut St Philadelphia PA 19106

(267) 773-7055 cityfitstudios.com

10 | Philly Weekly | May 19 - 25, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

fifth Defensive Coordinator in my career, so at this point making changes is not a big deal for me. I love the mentality that Schwartz is trying to implement into the defense. He wants us to be a disruptive and attacking defense first and foremost. The scheme works and we will all have time to learn it, but the most important thing is getting that attacking mentality.

What made you want to volunteer your time for Preakness at the Piazza? I’ve never been but I’ve heard awesome things about the event. I love fashion and I love supporting good causes, so Preakness at the Piazza was a perfect fit. n

“This look is very casual. A nice clean navy shirt from J. Crew with distressed denim shorts. My favorite pieces in this outfit were the two-toned brown fedora and the fresh white PF Flyers! This is a fun casual Spring/Summer look.”

Photos shot at Monarch Philadelphia, monarchphilly.com

SuperStrongWindow.com 5/31/16

2016

2016 phillyweekly.com | May 19 - 25, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 11

FEATURE

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by JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

Preakness Comes to the Piazza

B

ig hats, freakishly fancy fascinators and boyfriends decked out in suits nicer than they’ve worn all year. The Preakness at the Piazza must be back.

This weekend marks the fourth year of the event, which started out as a charity fundraiser, but in just a few years has morphed into so much more.

“The great thing about this event is people really get decked out,” says founder Geoffrey Gross. “Girls come in derby hats and sundresses, guys wear searsuckers and bow ties, and it’s really a fun event. It has a lot of things going on, but the attire is the central theme. We’ve been sort of named Philly’s best dressed event of the year, but really our end goal here is to continue to raise money and help put an end to MS for good.”

That focus to date, Gross says has amounted to more than $350,000 donated to the MS Society, with a goal of raising another $200,000 this year. This year sees some new additions to the event, like Tito’s Vodka bringing the Tito’s RV, a rec vehicle fully equipped with a mobile bar and speciality drinks that’s making its Philly debut on Saturday at the event. There will also be an expanded VIP section that will be both outdoors under a tent and indoors at the adjacent and newly opened WeWork co-working space.

Gross explains that there’s much more to the Preakness (Philly style that is) than just watching a horse race. “We have both a band, Drew Nugent and the Midnight Society, for the first hour playing derby music and DJ Royale, who we’ve had for all four years and he’ll be on from right after the race is done until the end.” Gross adds that the event begins with all you can eat and all you can drink along with raffles, 50/50s and horse betting, all to give attendees a healthy dose of gambling, for a cause of course!

“Then everyone sort of gathers outside and we’ll have the Preakness Stakes on our 40foot outdoor screen and once the race is over, then it turns into a party.”

But of course, whether your horse wins or loses doesn’t matter so much as how you look. Celebrity fashion judges Malcolm Jenkins from the Eagles, Bex of 96.5 AMP Radio’s Cage and Bex morning show, former All-Pro Philadelphia Eagles linebacker Ike Reese of Sportsradio WIP’s Mike and Ike and traffic talker Meisha Johnson from CBS3 will be scanning the crowd for winners in such categories as best bow tie, best hat, best shoes and best couple. Winners get bragging rights, and $200 Boyd’s gift cards.

“Last year we had someone with Americana red, white and blue shoes on who won best shoes,” Gross recalls. “[Another] guy had orange shoes, green pants, orange suspenders and a purple bow tie. People really go all out for this thing.” As for Gross, he’s well prepared. “I have my outfit ready. We promoted

12 | Philly Weekly | May 19 - 25, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Geoff Gross with event co-chair Pari Hashemi

all last week so I need many bow ties for all these different occasions. Every year I wear a different color. This year I decided purple is going to be my color.”

Although he enjoys the dressing up, for Gross the passion for this party is extremely personal. “In 2009 my best friend was diagnosed with MS and at that point I decided to be very involved with the MS Society.” That began in 2011 with a modest flip-cup tournament and the next year sights were set on expanding to a bigger event. “We decided on the Piazza, that was our number one venue and Bart Blatstein, who owned it at the time, was generous enough to offer it to us. We thought the derby race was about as fun of a theme as you could wrap an event around, it all sort of came together.” With 100 percent of proceeds going to the MS Society, a portion will go to help the 14,000 local suffers with quality of life improvements, like stair lifts, along with national research. “I’m confident that if we raise enough money, finding a cause of MS can happen in the next 10 years.”

Gross says that first year of the event surprised him, he had no idea Philadelphians would be so fashion conscious. “What we didn’t realize was how much everyone wanted to get dressed up. Every single person came that way. The fashion contest sort of happened by accident in year one, there was just some natural competition going on among everyone.”

And it seems whether it rains or shines, the party will still go on at the PIazza. “It rained the first year and part of the third year. But people come and they love being outside at night in the spring, whether it’s raining or not raining,” says Gross. “Because what I can tell you from last year, the first three hours of the event, the weather was beautiful, then it started to rain and even though it was raining, so many people didn’t go into the tents, they stayed out dancing in the rain, it was really a great sight to see because they were having that good of a time.” n

Sat., May 21, 5-9:30pm. $75-$150. The Piazza, 1050 N. Hancock St. preaknessatthepiazza.com

SCREEN

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by Rob WEllS @RJWells1212

Exhumed Films

UpComiNg SCREENiNgS

Ex-Fest celebrates B-movie favorites.

M

ovies can be made for all types of different reasons. Artistic expression, fun and humdrum escapism. It’s also a great way to escape the everyday and participate in a rich and wonderful fantasy world. At its best, film can act as a mirror for the audience and make us see ourselves, and provide insight into the human animal. At its worst, or more so, bizarre and unpleasant, it can be made purely to tantalize, push buttons, and upset in offensive ways. That is what we call exploitation and/or B-movies.

If you’re a fan of odd films, then you’ve certainly seen more than a few exploitation movies. If you’re a part of the uninitiated when it comes to this weird branch of cinema, an “exploitation film” is defined as a motion picture that promotes elements such as sex, violence, gross-out gags, drug use, and the flat out unusual to get moviegoers into theaters. There are all different kinds of exploitation movies, too; sub genres: Blaxploitation, sexploitation, Canuxploitation, splatter, slasher, Mondo, and “women in prison” are all examples. B-grade movies can be all somewhat similar, but that may be due in part to the fact that they’re all so low budget. For every high-budget “A-movie” that commands major promotion and attention, there are heaps of B-movies that manage to happen without the benefits of a lot of funding.

I’m a fan of certain exploitation cinema. It’s guilty pleasure viewing for me as a self-proclaimed filmbuff. While nearly every genre of film has its merits, probably the wildest and arguably “so-bad-it’sgood” genre of all is exploitation. Why? Because it exists unapologetically solely to exploit something. Something about that is weirdly admirable.

A cinema group who has a vast appreciation of such scary, odd and archaic flicks is Exhumed Films. “The short story is, we started back in 1997. The four of us became friends because of our shared love of horror movies and cult movies,” says Dan Fraga, unofficial treasurer of Exhumed Films. Fraga laid out the history and mission of this tight knit group of film fans, while also spearheading the 2016 Ex-Fest, April’s annual 12-hour movie marathon at the International House, showcasing the weirdest, vilest, and most egregious exploitation films ever made (all never before seen by the public). “Back then, it wasn’t the world we live in now, stuff wasn’t really easy to find. We had [obscure horror] films that we loved, and more than just watching

them on video, you could always buy bootlegs or import them on VHS, but we always wanted to see them in the theater,” says Fraga. He, along with Jesse Nelson, website administrator, Joseph A. Gervais, in charge of publicity, and Harry Guerro, manager of Exhumed’s various film prints, decided to create an opportunity where they, and others, could experience these unknown films on the big screen.

“We were always bummed out no one was doing it,” says Fraga. “We went to our local movie theatre, rented some movies from Grindhouse Releasing, one of the biggest horror and exploitation distributors today, and our dirt show was a hit.

We figured if nobody show’s up at least we tried it and gave it a shot. But, it went very well, so we just kept doing it and we’re still here 19 years later.”

That initial love of unknown horror films has blossomed into unearthing and promoting all types of B-movies and exploitation pictures. And now fans of exploitation films, B-movies and B-grade horror flicks, can see these films on the silver screen. It’s important to note, that Fraga enjoys providing a wide range of offensive and exploitative cinema for wanting fans, but he himself isn’t a fan of everything he and his colleagues are exhibiting. “I am not a fan of movies that deal with misogyny. Some of the more

infamous titles, things like Miss .45, Last House on the Left, and such have no interest or attraction for me. So as far as grindhouse stuff, I gravitate more towards the fun.” Fraga says Kung-Fu films are a genre he’s heavily attracted to, as well as John Carpenter flicks. It’s fascinating that a proprietor of all of these various categories of over-the-top film, dislikes a major feature that’s inherent in many of them. Misogyny is a common and unfortunate trait in exploitation cinema. Fraga tries to embrace the more lighthearted and fun subgenres, and he’s also not afraid to oppose a customary part of these films. It’s easy to think that all exploitation films lean on the sex crazed, gory and violent side.

They all play on what you dread in an offensive style. That’s not the case. Fraga’s love of the more buoyant movies is a testament to that. As is the lineup of films that played at the Ex-Fest.

These lost treasures of cinema presented ranged from campy to gory. None of the films are publicized beforehand.

So surprises are in store as each flick is a mystery, from funny to downright demeaning. Zapped! featured ’80s teen idol Scott Baio, who gets telekinetic powers that he uses to lift skirts and rip open shirts. I know, you’re thinking, the embodiment of misogyny. In a way, it is. But it’s so ridiculous, that you can’t help but enjoy. Baio’s character, Barney, eventually succumbs to his inner moral compass with the help of Bernadette, the nerdy female lead who proves the biggest myth in teen movie lore, that the geeky girl looks gorgeous without those horn-rimmed glasses.

If you’re a film devotee, especially one who’s interested in films like Zapped!, the violent Native American themed revenge flick Johnny Firecloud, and the softcore sleazefest Inside Amy, the ExFest puts things in perspective. Without the vast collection of exploitation films and grindhouse flicks, we wouldn’t have many wider-released films and genres.

Slasher films like Scream, steamy sex thrillers like Basic Instinct, or overt exploitation homages/revenge thrillers like Django Unchained, would those films be here without their lower-budgeted/poorly written B cousins?

Exhumed continues to make fans of exploitation cinema more aware that there are lots of great films from which to choose, while also appreciating the history of this marginalized, but celebrated genre. n

John Carpenter: live Retrospective

Celebrate the power of film scores and soundtracks as Exhumed Films hosts a live performance of John Carpenter’s film themes from his classic movies, as well as new compositions inspired from his previous work. A horror flick pioneer, Carpenter’s synthesizer focused scores inspired a generation. When you hear a Carpenter theme, you know it’s his.

Sat., July 9, 8pm. $29- $65. Keswick Theatre, 291 N Keswick Ave, Glenside. exhumedfilms.com

The original STAR WARS Trilogy

Venture back to a galaxy far, far away.

Exhumed Films will be hosting an event screening the original Star Wars Trilogy. Get reacquainted with The Force, the Skywalkers, Han Solo and more. Fall in love with the sprawling space opera classics as you enter a new adventure with A New Hope, discover ghastly secrets in The Empire Strikes Back, and save the galaxy with Return of The Jedi. This is a can’t miss event. Sun., Aug. 28, noon. $20-$25.

International House, 3701 Chestnut St. exhumedfilms.com

phillyweekly.com | May 19 - 25, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 13

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by JacQueline Rupp @PhillyJackie

Double Dutch Joncarl Lachman and Lee Styer talk Brunch.

“I

CENtEr City

|

’m Dutch Dutch, he’s Pennsylvania Dutch,” says Joncarl Lachman about himself and his partner of the new bruncherie The Dutch, Lee Styer. Although between the two there’s a lot of Dutch to go around, the menu should have a decidedly Philly flavor to most long-time residents.

Dishes like creamed chipped beef, ring bologna and scrapple are about as much Philadelphia as they are Northern European. “A lot of people will come in and say, ‘Wow, I haven’t had this in such a long time. My mom used to make this,” says Styer, originally from Reading. “And this weekend we had a lot of people from the Netherlands come in which was really cool, too. It’s been a good combination,” adds Lachman. He says that many Pennsylvania Dutch people that have stopped by have appreciated the respect for these dishes that the breakfast

and lunch spot, which opened just over a month ago, offer.

Yes, scrapple and chipped beef have been elevated a bit here from the greasy diner fare of drunchie meals, but not to a level where they lose any of their beloved roots. Amidst the bright and airy blue and white decor— which feels like it could be a cafe in Amsterdam if it wasn’t for the bodega across the street—dishes like Ring Bologna Eggs Benedict and Roasted Mushroom with Taleggio cheese and truffle oil are served up.

Uitsmijter, is a full breakfast with a pair of sunny side up eggs (that precisely hit the delicate balance between runny and hard), Gouda, 1732 Meats guanciale (buttery pork jowl is all you need to know) atop grilled seeded rye along with a salad and pickles ($13). The crispy Savory Scallion Waffles are served topped with a creamed chipped beef

Uitsmijter

($14) that will most likely beat any family recipe you’ve encountered. Lachman suggests any group order a round of the Savory Dutch Baby Pancakes ($11), cast-iron cooked, they’re just as addictive as funnel cake but without all the grease and heaviness.

Lachman, known for South Philly’s Noord, knew he wanted to open in Pennsport for some time. “I came here for dinner when it was Fourth and Cross and came back on the last night and it was closing and we just decided one night.” The Pennsport location seems to be working for the pair. “I’m really happy. We’ve been busier than we expected to be,” says Lachman. “We’ve had great support from our neighbors,” adds Styer. Both agree that with soaring real estate prices around them and ample construction

Pennsport is changing.

And the switch to a brunch menu seems to be an easy transition for both chefs. “It’s more relaxed. It’s quicker. It’s not fine dining but we still take it very seriously, there’s just not as much intricate detail,” says Styer.

“I like the speed of it, it’s really kind of fun when it’s really busy, it’s just so exciting,” says Lachman. n

The Dutch hosts its first cooking class with both chefs on May 23 at 7pm. Nacht Kucke (Night Kitchen) will be a four course spring menu featuring complementary wine pairings for $145 per person.

The Dutch, 1527 S. 4th St. thedutchphilly.com

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Savory Scallion Waffle

phillyweekly.com | May 19 - 25, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 15

COMEDY

|

bY JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

The Return of Cho

A

fter a six year hiatus, Margaret Cho has a new album, American Myth, once again packed with socio-political statements, cultural references and, of course, lots of glitter. With songs like “I Want to Kill My Rapist,” it’s a good bet Cho hasn’t lost her activist zeal. What she has gained though is the special co-host title for E!’s Fashion Police and a stop over in Philly at Helium. I talked with Cho about her single and homage to the fallen supermodel, “Anna Nicole,” body image and the absurdity over the current “bathroom debates.”

I wanted to start by asking you about being a product of the ’90s. What you would bring back from the ’90s into today’s world if you could.

Oh gosh, you know zines? Remember those?

They were great. Of course they still exist, there’s a huge sort of alternative scene and sort of websites and blogs have taken the place, but there’s something that was just so great about zines. They were all just so diverse and funny and cool and interesting. It was a big, big scene and I loved that.

Did you have a favorite back in the day?

I liked Ben is Dead, I liked, gosh there were so many, I can’t remember their names now. I had Factsheet Five so I would circle all of the ones that I liked and get them in the mail. There was one about the little boy from E.T., grown up. They had this girl that was really obsessed with him, she was really funny. She was like, I forgot what it said, but something like, it was a zine about stalking.

I don’t know why I can’t recall the names, probably menopause.

So why did you wait so long to make another album?

Oh, I was just busy doing other stuff. I was touring, I was working on a show called Drop Dead Diva, I was doing a bunch of other stuff. But I make music all the time, it’s a constant in my life. Garrison and I wrote most of the songs on the record, Garrison Starr is a wonderful singer songwriter, she produced the album, so we just had some time to do it, so we did it.

What’s your favorite song off the album?

I really like “Anna Nicole,” which is a single, the video is out now, it’s a story about Anna Nicole Smith, who was really the first wave of social media bullying and getting trolled a lot. That was really hard for her, but she was quite the legendary figure. My song is my version of “Candle in the Wind” for her and I love it. I love all of the tracks, I think they’re beautiful.

“Anna Nicole” seems like a rare show of respect and admiration. We’re used to seeing her gawked at or made fun of.

I think that’s important. People were just so awful about her and to her. It was just wrong

16 | Philly Weekly | May 19 - 25, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Photo by Dusti Cunningham

and I think all of that really contributed to her death. And it’s really horrible. When you think about the impact she had when she first appeared in the ’90s, she was someone who was just so beautiful, but out of the Heroin Chic thing here was this woman who was large and so beautiful and I think she helped a lot of people understand the idea of acceptance of your body, a real body, a full figure. That curviness was so inspiring to see that it was being celebrated in the Guess ads. So her power as a beauty icon shouldn’t be underestimated, I think she was really amazing.

Speaking of body images, how do you feel about the controversies surrounding attempting to make bathrooms inclusive to the transgender community?

Well, I’ve been a part of the LGBT community for many years and went through a lot of people’s transitions. This is my family.

And it offends me to think that people are actually afraid of a transgender person in a bathroom. That’s the most insane thing.

Nothing has ever happened, an incident where a transgender person has done anything in a bathroom. Insane. I think Target has the right attitude. They are coming out in support of equality and sanity. But all of these anti-LGBT bills I think are a direct reaction to the Supreme Court legalizing gay marriage. We have a start toward equality and that’s very threatening to homophobic and bigoted people.

Philly. Good? bad?

Very very in love with Philadelphia. I’m furious about Catherine Knott. I’m glad she’s going to prison but it’s not for very long.

Justice was not served because her father is a police chief. When you have these homophobic crimes, they need to be seen as hate crimes. I got in a real fight with some people about the Mummers. (laughs) The Mummers, I understand the tradition of it, but to use it to make fun of the transgender community at a time that’s so difficult and hard for us, is very disappointing. But I love hoagies! n

May 19-21. Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St. heliumcomedy.com

SCREEN

|

bY JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

HUMP! Day H

UMP! is hitting Philly this Saturday. And if you haven’t attended the Dan Savage film festival, prepare for an excitable night of homegrown porn. Take out the studios, fake boobs and even faker orgasms and see what real people are creating with sex on film. We spoke with Jenna and Amory Jane of the film “Level Up” (yes it’s video game meets porn) to find out what it’s like being part of the humping.

Tell me a little bit of your background outside of this film.

Jenna: My main relevant background is in photography and videography (for everything from weddings to special events to cat portraits), but I’ve always enjoyed filming sex. It’s a beautiful act of nature with so many different elements to illuminate.

Mainstream porn has tainted the beauty of sex, and one of the many things I love about HUMP! is that it’s taking the beauty of sex back; it’s telling the world that filmed sex isn’t just for this arbitrary ideal that the media deems worthy. It’s for everyone. We’re humans and we’re sexual, and that’s okay.

“Level Up” was the second film I made for HUMP! (after “Humparoke,” which ran in the 2014 festival and the 2015 tour) but not the first amateur porn I’ve made. However, the several films before HUMP! were just amateur homemade videos, solely intended for the partners involved (without a plot or fun theme). I have to say, making HUMP! films are way more fun—and sex is already pretty damn fun.

Amory Jane is a professional sex educator (who teaches in Portland but also goes on tours across the U.S.), and it was she who originally brought me into HUMP! with her ideas for “Humparoke.” She had also starred in a film a couple years prior that also made it into the festival.

What is “Level Up” all about?

Jenna: Imagine if your next hot orgy could be achieved by playing an RPG—and your character is a sexy feminist “Link” with a fairy companion. That’s “Level Up” in a nutshell. I think one of the most awesome parts about our film is the video game theme.

There are homages to some classic video games, and they’re sure to tickle the core gamer in you without tainting any single game you grew up playing and loving.

How did this movie get started?

Amory Jane: We came at the film from multiple perspectives, but mostly it just started off with us wanting to find a way to incorporate our feminist views and love of classic video games. It is not a critique on the porn industry, but does attempt to show things we would love to see more of in movies: women as heroes/in charge of their own sexuality, cis men showing affection and exploring sexuality with each other, and an awareness of patriarchy/kyriarchy and how

it impacts the ways we have sex and experience desire in our society.

Do you think films like “Level Up” are moving the industry into a whole new direction away?

Jenna: Honestly, I think all HUMP! Films are

moving the industry into a whole new direction, and it’s fantastic. One of the amazing parts about HUMP! is that it makes adjectives like “dirty” a positive thing. It helps de-shame porn and the entire sexual experience, which I think is incredibly important.

You mentioned the idea of humor and sexuality together, is that something that you feel is lacking in the traditional world of porn?

Amory Jane: Yes! Sadly, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of films out there that include things like pansexuality, politics, humor, and mixed-gender, bisexual group sex. We are also big fans of queer/feminist porn, and we wanted to contribute to what we hope will be an ever-growing category.

I’ve heard the word empowering used to describe participating in a project like this, for you personally, have you experienced this and in what ways?

Jenna: Absolutely, and in many ways. I personally decided to stay solely behind the scenes for “Level Up” after playing a role in the previous year’s “Humparoke” because I felt that I had personally achieved what I had wanted to for being on screen. I had to overcome some serious, life-long body insecurity issues and let myself be vulnerable—not to mention play a part I had zero familiarity or comfort with (playing a dominatrix when I’m naturally very submissive).

A few years ago, I had trouble even sleeping naked next to a partner. Now, I walk around the house naked with the blinds open. Seeing my barely-covered boobs take up a cinema widescreen was scary at first, and then sexy, so I totally understand why people enjoy being on screen.

For people thinking of attending HUMP!, tell us what to expect.

Jenna: Dan Savage explains this better than I ever could, but essentially, HUMP! is absolutely for everyone. It’s a unique opportunity to not only mentally explore your own sexual boundaries, but to be exposed to sexual kinks and arenas you’ve probably never even thought about. And whether or not it turns out to be “your thing,” it’s still worth experiencing. It’s a lesson in acceptance, though you wouldn’t even realize it, because it’s so much fun. You’re in a packed theater, surrounded by people who are all in the same boat. I’ve never been to a HUMP! screening where I felt judged or self-conscious. n

Sat., May 21, 6pm, 8:15pm and 10:30pm. $25.

TLA, 334 South St. humpfilmfest.com phillyweekly.com | May 19 - 25, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 17

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage | Twitter: @FakeDanSavage

Guilt Ridden

O

ver the years, I have consumed what I believe to be an average amount of porn for a 44-yearold hetero guy. I have never paid for it, and I am now facing a troubled conscience for that fact. I could obviously just subscribe to some site now, but that would benefit only one company. Is there a Dan Savage– approved charity relating to the adult film industry to which I could donate? —Seeks Penance And Needs Knowledge

REAL PEOPLE, REAL DESIRE, REAL FUN.

Try FREE: 267-515-5709 More Local Numbers: 1-800-926-6000

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“Porn performers almost never get royalties for their scenes when they work for big studios,” says Conner Habib, a writer, activist and porn performer. “If you buy into the trickle-down theory of things, then more money for the studio should mean more money for the performers. If you don’t buy into that—and not everyone does—there are other options.”

To get your money directly to the performers whose work you’re currently enjoying/stealing, SPANK, you can patronize smaller studios run by performers, book time with independent webcam models, and purchase porn created by performers on sites like Clips4Sale.com.

To atone for your years of freeloading, you can and should make large donations to two organizations. “The Adult Performer Advocacy Committee (APAC) (apacusa.com) is the largest performer-based organization in the world, and its membership is made up entirely of performers,” says Habib. “Full disclosure: I’m the vice president, but no donation money goes to me or any board member. It all goes to the organization, which works to improve the working conditions, quality of life, and safety of performers, as well as to fight anti-porn laws and stigma.”

Habib also recommended donating money to the Sex Workers Outreach Project (swopusa.org).

“This isn’t a porn-specific organization,” says Habib, “but it works to protect and fight for the rights of all sex workers.

Since many performers are doing other forms of sex work, donations go a long way to help porn performers.”

My husband and I have been married for 16 years. We have been polyamorous for the last five years. We are a bit mismatched sexually in many ways. Polyamory was our solution. For much of this time, my husband had a girlfriend. Before I go on, let me say that I adore my husband in all ways except sex. We are raising a child together and are a good fit otherwise. I no longer have any desire to have sex with my husband. Lots of men and women write in to complain about their partner’s low libido. This is not the case.

My libido is fine. I just don’t want to have sex

18 | Philly Weekly | May 19 - 25, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

with my husband. We each have our issues.

He feels insecure and has trouble maintaining erections. I always felt desexualized— not by him, but when I was younger. He is frustrated because it is hard for him to meet women, and his frustration is made worse by the fact that I don’t want sex with him either.

When he had a girlfriend, our sex life wasn’t as much of an issue. What should I do? He’s unhappy. I’m frustrated. Neither of us wants to divorce. Should I force myself? —Lady In Baltimore Isn’t Desiring Obligatory Sex It is a truth universally acknowledged—in the poly universe anyway—that a married poly woman will have an easier time finding sex partners than a married poly man. Some men in open/poly relationships present themselves as dishonest cheaters rather than honest nonmonogamists because women would rather fuck a married man who’s cheating on his wife than a married man who isn’t cheating on his wife.

Go figure.

Anyway, the answer to your question— should you force yourself to fuck your husband?—depends on your answer to this question: How badly do you want to avoid divorce? Because if your husband can’t or won’t pretend to be cheating, LIBIDOS, and if women won’t fuck him because he’s in an open marriage, your refusal to fuck him could wind up incentivizing divorce.

So to save your marriage, LIBIDOS, you might wanna fuck your husband once in a while. Forcing yourself to fuck someone is tiresome and dispiriting, I realize, but you can always close your eyes and think about someone you’d rather be fucking—a timetested stratagem employed successfully by millions of people in loving, stable, and sexually enervating/dead marriages.

And since you’re off the hook when your husband has a girlfriend, LIBIDOS, you might wanna do everything you can to help him find a new one—a stratagem employed by tens of thousands of women in poly relationships. You don’t want your husband stewing alone at home while you’re out fucking your boyfriend(s), LIBIDOS, because that ups the odds of your resentful/ unfucked husband asking you to close up your relationship again or asking you for a divorce. So help him craft messages to women he contacts online, go to play parties and poly mixers with him, and vouch for him to women he’s interested in.

But between girlfriends, you’ll probably wanna fuck him once in a while. Lube for you, Viagra for him, pot for you both. n

There’s more Savage Love!

Read more at ph.ly/savage Ask a question: mail@savagelove.net

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OLD 50% S 4 New construction Carriage homes starting at $599,000 4 beds/3.1 baths; 2 car garage; Open Floor plan with 2600+ Sq ft MAIN LINE SUBURBS 1750 Oakwood Ter 16G, Penn Valley 2 Bed/2 Bath; Condo at Oak Hill $259,000

The William Penn House - Center City Living!

CENTER CITY PHILA.

Queen Village/ Meredith Catchment

SOCIETY HILL

NEW LISTING OpEN HOuSE

Rittenhouse Square • Rooftop Pool • Fitness Center• Valet Parking • 24 Hr Security 24 Hr Maintenance Studios $130,000 to $160,000 1 Bedrooms $250,000 to $300,000 2 Bedrooms $300,000 to $450,000 3 Bedrooms $400,000 to $550,000 Includes real estate tax • No transfer tax

2005 County Line Road, Villanova 5 Bed/3.2 Bath; 3476 sq ft Colonial $625,000 5404 Parkview Drive, Haverford 306 Clwyd Road, Bala Cynwyd 3 Bed/2.1 Bath; 2962 sq ft Condo 5 Bedroom/2.3 Baths; 5420 sq ft Ranch $800,000 $999,999 127 Carriage Court, Plymouth Mtg 300 Lawrence Road, Broomall 3 Bed/3.1 Bath; 2679 sq ft Carriage Home 3 Bed/3 Bath; 2000 sq ft Ranch $365,000 $575,000 1411 Waverly Rd, Gladwyne 56 Cornell Road, Bala Cynwyd 5 Bed/5.2 Bath New Construction $1,950,000 3 Bed/3 Bath; Ranch $400,000 360 Gulph Hills Road, Wayne JUST REDUCED 5 Bed/3.2 Bath; 2617 sq ft Colonial $560,000 515 Hamilton Road, Merion Station 331 N Lansdowne Ave, Lansdowne 4 Bed/2.1 Bath; 2312 sq ft Colonial $575,000 4 Bed/2 Bath; 2351 Colonial $239,000 528 Conshohocken State Rd, Gladwyne 749 County Line Road, Bryn Mawr 4 Bed/2.1 Bath; 2664 sq ft Colonial 3 Bed/1 Bath; 1395 sq ft End Unit Row $175,000 $700,000 141 Overbrook Pkwy, Wynnewood 154 Upland Ter, Bala Cynwyd 4 Bed/3.1 Bath; 3120 sq ft Colonial $489,000 5 Bed/2.1 Bath; 2126 sq ft Twin $500,000 200 Walnut Avenue, Wayne 377 Maplewood Road, Merion Station 6 Bed/3 Bath Victorian w/Guest House $1,249,000 4 Bed/3.1 Bath; 2203 sq ft Contemporary $550,000 1150 Grandview Ter, Wayne 4812 Church Road, Doylestown 4 Bed/3.1 Bath; 4249 sq ft Townhouse $899,000 6 Bed/5 Bath; 6443 sq ft Colonial $1,650,000 7001 Wayne Avenue, Upper Darby 807 Bowman Ave, Wynnewood 6 Bed/2.1 Bath; 2845 sq ft Colonial $200,000 4 Bed/3.1 Bath; 3092 sq ft Colonial $660,000 3538 Oriole Dr, Huntingdon Valley 20 W Turnbull Avenue, Havertown 5 Bed/3.1 Bath; 3543 sq ft Split-Level $439,000 4 Bed/2.1 Bath; 2564 sq ft rehabbed colonial $500,000 1224 Lafayette Road, Gladwyne CONDO LIVING 5 Bed/2.1 Bath; 3100 sq ft Colonial $799,000 191 Presidential Blvd, Bala Cynwyd 1349 Wooded Way, Bryn Mawr R903: 1 Bed/1 Bath; 971 sq ft Condo $123,900 R901: 1 Bed/1 Bath; 943 sq ft Condo $150,000 7 Bed/6.2 Bath; 9198 sq ft Colonial $1,799,000 824-25: 2 Bed/2 Bath; 2100 sq ft Condo $499,000 941 Bryn Mawr Avenue, Penn Valley 1600 Hagys Ford 2J, Penn Valley 6 Bed/5.1 Bath, 8231 sq ft Normandy 2 Bed/1.1 Bath; 965 sq ft Condo $126,000 $1,155,000

Sunday May 22nd, 2016 • 1:30 to 2:30

Lovely Three Story Brick Home on a Beautiful Queen Village Tree Lined Block in the sought after Meredith Catchment. It is a Perfect Example of how Old World Charm and Modern Architecture blends Beautifully. It features Drama from the Soaring Three Story Lightwell with Large Picture Windows on each floor flooding the entire Home from Top to Bottom with Incredible Natural Light. The First Floor has an Open Concept, Two Lovely Parlors each with their own Fireplace. This Main Level also features a Powder Room and the Third Bedroom (currently used as an Office), which opens onto a Spacious Patio/Garden. Lower Level: The Lightwell and the Open Modern Architecture creates a Bright & Spacious Large Eat in Kitchen and Dining Room, equipped with Stainless Steel Newer Appliances, Granite and a Working Wood Burning Fireplace making this Room Warm & Inviting. On this Level is also a Large Butlers Pantry and a Separate Laundry & Mechanical Room + Pullman Doors to the Outside. Second Level: A Huge Den/Family Room with Two Fireplaces and Built Ins (which could easily be converted into the Fourth bedroom). On this Floor is also found a Full Tile Bath and a Rear Bedroom featuring a Large Closet & Three Windows. The Stunning Third Level is the Entire Main Suite; featuring a Fireplace, Full Bath including a Jacuzzi Tub, a Custom Fitted Walk in Closet + Two Additional Well Appointed Closets and a Large Glass Atrium Door to the Lovely Private Deck. This Airy Tranquil Outdoor Space overlooks the Main Patio and Boasts Picturesque Views of the Queen Village Community Garden.

2012 Spruce Street, Rittenhouse Square 5 Bed/5 Bath; 7155 sq ft Townhome $3,690,000 NEW LISTINGS 3600 Conshohocken Ave #501, River Park 2 Bed/2 Bath; 1251 sq ft Condo $94,900 1013 Carpenter St, Bella Vista 3 Bed/2 Bath; 1457 sq ft Townhome $449,500 500 Lombard St, Society Hill 3 Bed/3.1 Bath; 2800 sq ft Townhome $749,000 3112 Haverford Ave., Powelton Village 5Bed/2.1Bath; 1,998 sq ft Townhouse $389,500 303-5 S 11th St., Washington Sq West Unit 10: 1 Bed/1 Bath; 868 sq ft Condo $200,000 1919 Walnut Street, Rittenhouse Square 7,000 sq ft Commercial Space $2,950,000

A True Jewel! $687,500

Circa 1830. A large corner property with attached parking and a lovely, large English Garden with fountain - 77 feet deep, 3 bedrooms + a huge family room, 2.5 beautiful baths, 5 fireplaces and restored wood floors. A True Period Perfect Restored Property, Pristine Condition.

$1,199,000

1412 South Street, Avenue of the Arts Commercial Space $825,000 1600 Hagys Ford 8G, Penn Valley 1 Bed/1 Bath; 766 sq ft Condo $125,000 1001 City Ave EC801, Wynnewood 1 Bed/ 1 Bath; 910 sq ft Unit $74,000 50 Belmont Avenue #410, Bala Cynwyd 3 Bed/2.1 Bath; 1,971 sq ft Condo $599,000

Conway Kathy Conway Patrick Conway Patrick Conway Kathy

215-440-8190 215-266-1537215-850-3842 215-266-1537 Society Hill Offi•ce • 215.627.6005 • Please visit onlineat atwww.conwayteam.com www.conwayteam.com Society Hill Office 215.627.6005 • Please visit ususonline

BACK ON THE MARKET OPEN SUNDAY 12 - 2 1146 N. ORIANNA STREET Spacious 3 bedroom corner home featuring hardwood floors, granite top gourmet kitchen, high ceilings and a total of 3 outdoor spaces

NEW LISTING RITTENHOUSE SQUARE Fantastic 5 BR home featuring a spacious living room with 11ft ceilings and beautiful pine hardwood flooring, a full eat-in kitchen with backyard access.

Over 4,000 sq ft of living space

$549,000

$1,390,000

NEW LISTING UNDER CONTRACT HAWTHORNE Authentic-yet-modern home featuring a gas fireplace, vaulted ceilings, a covered patio, handcrafted woodwork and exposed brick throughout

NEW LISTING OLD KENSINGTON Professionally designed 2 BR condo in gated community featuring oak floors, a balcony and 1 car gated parking. 8 years left on the tax abatement

$580,000

$349,000

NEW LISTING UNDER CONTRACT HAWTHORNE Lovely 4 bedroom home with onsite parking featuring hardwood floors, beautiful high vaulted ceilings, custom lighting and a large paved backyard

OPEN SUNDAY 12 - 2 210 LOCUST STREET, UNIT 19E Charming, just renovated studio condominium with refinished hardwood floors, large walk-in closet, new kitchen appliances and upgraded bathroom

$535,000

$200,000 First Choice Loan Services Inc. (NMLS# 210764) a wholly owned subsidiary of First Choice

START YOUR HOME OWNERSHIP (NMLS# 177877) JOURNEY is located at 729TODAY. Grove Ave, Suite 7, Southampton, PA 18966.

START JOURNEY YOUR TODAY. HOMEBank OWNERSHIP

First Choice Loan Services Inc. is registered or exempt from state licensing in the states it originates mortgage loans. Licensed by the NJ Department of Banking and Insurance. AZ BK# 0918586. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is not an agency of the federal government and is INCLUDE: not affiliatedwith your current lender. All loans are subject to credit approval. Programs, rates, • VA • USDA PROGRAMS • Jumbo • 203K FHA MORTGAGE & Streamline • Renovation & more! terms and conditions are current, but are subject to change and may expire without notice.

• Renovation FHA • VA • USDA • Jumbo • 203K & Streamline & more!

Other restrictions may apply. All applications must be submitted in writing. This advertisement Matthew Lynch Senior Mortgage Loan Originator - NMLS# 785395 is not a loan disclosure and all disclosures provided after applying should be reviewed carefully.

This is not a commitment to provide a loan approval or a specific interest rate. 03.11.2016 www.fcloans.com/mlynch Contact me today! 610.209.5970 • mlynch@fcbmtg.com • www.fcbhomeloans.com/mlynch MORTGAGE PROGRAMS INCLUDE:

Matthew Lynch

20 | Philly Weekly | May 19 - 25, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Senior Mortgage Loan Originator - NMLS# 785395

First Choice Loan Services Inc. (NMLS# 210764) a wholly owned subsidiary of First Choice Bank (NMLS# 177877) is located at 729 Grove Ave, Suite 7, Southampton, PA 18966. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is registered or exempt from state licensing in the states it originates mortgage loans. Licensed by the NJ Department of Banking and Insurance. AZ BK# 0918586. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is not an agency of the federal government and is not affiliated with your current lender. All loans are subject to credit approval. Programs, rates, terms and conditions are current, but are subject to change and may expire without notice. Other restrictions may apply. All applications must be submitted in writing. This advertisement is not a loan disclosure and all disclosures provided after applying should be reviewed carefully. This is not a commitment to provide a loan approval or a specific interest rate. 03.11.2016

Contact me today! 610.209.5970 • mlynch@fcbmtg.com • www.fcbhomeloans.com/mlynch

First Choice Loan Services Inc. (NMLS# 210764) a wholly owned subsidiary of First Choice Bank (NMLS# 177877) is located at 729 Grove Ave, Suite 7, Southampton, PA 18966. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is registered or exempt from state licensing in the states it originates mortgage loans. Licensed by the NJ Department of Banking and Insurance. AZ BK# 0918586. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is not an agency of the federal government and is not affiliated with your current lender. All loans are subject to credit approval. Programs, rates, terms and conditions are current, but are subject to change and may expire without notice. Other restrictions may apply. All applications must

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ESTATE

FOR RENT

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HOME IMPROVEMENT

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EMPLOYMENT

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22 | Philly Weekly | May 19 - 25, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

ATTN: TRUCK DRIVERS! WERNER IS HIRING! Team & Solo Drivers Needed. No CDL? We can help! 3 wk training avail.

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MERCHANDISE FOR SALE Wanted to Buy

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Rittenhouse Row Spring Festival

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t’s a Spring time tradition of the fanciest variety. The Rittenhouse Row Spring Festival, held this Saturday will once again bring tens of thousands to Walnut Street and the Square.

Does your block party have multiple food vendors whose bites will have your mouth watering for more? Or how about the finest clothing from today’s top fashion trends? This year’s Rittenhouse Row Spring festival is where you need to be if you’re looking for all these things and more.

Foodies, fashionistas, art lovers and oenophiles unite. The yearly fair, taking up six blocks of Walnut Street, will show off the area’s finest food, art, entertainment and wine.

Come hungry, as once again, Rittenhouse promises to highlight some of the city’s tastiest food. Beer and cocktail

samples will complement the fare while live music, culinary demonstrations and other assorted random entertainment will be found from the Avenue of the Arts to Rittenhouse Square. Just remember, no cars will be allowed on Walnut Street for most of the day.

Besides the never-ending amounts of food and drink to be consumed, there is more. Tents and booths line Walnut Street as countless vendors await patrons to stroll around and enjoy the shopping experience. Fight the crowds and enjoy the food and fun of one of Philadelphia’s favorite spring happenings. n

Sat., May 21, noon-5pm (rain or shine). Free. Walnut Street between Broad and 19th Streets and 17th and 18th from Sansom to Locust. rittenhouserow.org

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