Philly Weekly 5-4-2016

05.05.16 - 05.11.16

party on South St.

Spring Fest Returns this Weekend Art Star All Stars - The Brian Jonestown Massacre - Food in Jars

2 | phillyweekly | May 4 - May 11, 2016

IN THIS ISSUE:

WED., MAY 4

8 FOOD

DRI NK

Food in Jars’ Marisa McClellan

#BYO: Brew Masters Head to the PFS Roxy Theater all month long for BYO screenings of classic beer-themed movies, all in anticipation of Philly Beer Week. Each screening will feature a local craft brewer or brewery sampling before the show.

Tonight’s screening: Beerfest.

9 SCREEN Philly Independent Film Fest

12 OUTDOOR South Street Spring Fest

7pm. PFS Roxy Theater, 2023 Sansom St. ďŹ lmadelphia.org

14 ART Meet the Art Stars

T ECH WEEK

Technology and Social Change

16 STAGE Elixer of Love

Learn about the ways contemporary protest movements, such as Occupy Wall Street and #BlackLivesMatter, use the internet and social media to ďŹ ght for social change. Panelists include Todd Wolfson and Asa Khalif. Noon.

18 SAVAGE LOVE Virgin Territory

19 MUSIC Brian Jonestown Massacre

19 REAL ESTATE 21 CLASSIFIED

CONNECT WITH US! Facebook: Philly Weekly

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Twitter: @phillyweekly Tell us about your upcoming events! Email info to managing editor Anastasia Barbalios at: events@phillyweekly.com

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Jay Sterin General manager Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 163 jay@phillyweekly.com

Jacqueline Rupp Editor-in-chief jacqueline@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyjackie

Anastasia Barbalios Managing editor anastasia@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyweekly

PHILLY WEEKLY 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400.

ClassiďŹ ed: 215.354.3054

RPM PHILLY, LLC Publisher Perry Corsetti Philly Weekly is published Wednesday by RPM Philly, LLC, 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400. Distributed in Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery & Chester counties in Pennsylvania and selected other locations in southern New Jersey. Philly Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into a newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the management. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising. Contents copyright Š 2016 by Philly Weekly. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

PART Y

Kentucky Derby Party

W

est Laurel Hill Cemetery celebrates the 142nd Kentucky Derby with a fundraising bash complete with horses, hats, and history. All proceeds will beneďŹ t Hope Springs Equestrian Therapy Center, which was founded in 1997 by Elena Gonzalez Shaffer to help children and adults with disabilities. “[Shaffer] was looking for a different way in which to use the horse as a therapy tool to help people with disabilities gain conďŹ dence and more self-esteem,â€? says Jeannie Knowlton, Executive Director and Senior Instructor at Hope Springs. “She started with one pony, one student, and since that humble start, we have grown to have helped over 1,000 individuals reach their own personal goals, achieve more conďŹ dence in their own abilities.â€?

Hope Springs largest population of students are on the Autism spectrum, but they work with all types of disabilities from accident survivors to youth at risk. The organization hopes that the Kentucky Derby party will not only raise money, but also raise awareness about Hope Springs’ work in the communuty. “West Laurel Hill is dedicated to giving back to the communities we serve and helping organizations further their mission,� says Deborah Cassidy, Director of Sales, Marketing and Family Services at West Laurel Hill Cemetery. “When

we learned of Hope Springs Equestrian Therapy Center and how they’ve helped hundreds of children and adults with disabilities, we felt it was an exceptional organization to adopt and support for the next few years.�

The afternoon will include a live viewing of the 142nd running of the Kentucky Derby. Everyone is encouraged to come in their ďŹ nest southern garb, bow ties and big hats, as celebrity guest judges will be searching the crowd for the best dressed male and female of the night. Guest judges in attendance will be Geno Vento of Geno’s Steaks, Bex from 96.5 AMP, Patrica Nogar, host of “Living Well with Pat Nogar,â€? and Brittiny Stewart-Adams, of Fashion of Philly.

Live music will be provided by The Red Hot Ramblers, an authentic 1920’s Prohibition Era Jazz Ensemble, while horses take attendees on carriage rides through the historic cemetery grounds. Snack on delicious food from Feastivities, Derby-themed cupcakes from Cupcakes By Ruth and refreshing mint juleps, and enter to win one of the multiple raffles, door prizes, and giveaways. —ABIGAIL DUREY

Sat., May 7, 4:30pm. $45. West Laurel Hill, 225 Belmont Ave. forever-care.com

Central Library, 1901 Vine St. 2016.phillytechweek.com

THURS., MAY 5 PERFORMANCE

KYL/D The South Philly-based KunYang Lin/Dancers bring two free performances of their “HOME PROJECT� to the courtyard of City Hall. The work, which features original music composed

by Cory Neale, references immigrant journeys, and the notions of “American-ness.� 2pm and

5:30pm. Free. Center Courtyard of City Hall, 1401 JFK Boulevard BENEFI T

Bear Affair Support the Philadelphia Children’s Alliance ďŹ ght for child victims of sexual abuse at this year’s annual affair, which includes a silent auction and cocktail party. 6pm. $85. Crystal

Tea Room, 100 Penn Square East. philachildrensalliance.org T ECH WEEK

#PTW16 Cinco De Mayo Block Party Philly Junto and N3rd Street present a community block party at The Piazza in honor of Cinco de Mayo and Philly Tech Week. More than 60 tech companies, restaurants, and businesses will be showcasing their wares and performing demos throughout the day. 3pm. The Piazza,

1040 N. Second St. | phillyweekly.com | May 5 - May 11, 2016 | 3

FRIDAY, MAY 6

David Seidman: Rapture

ART

Arch Enemy Arts Arch Enemy Arts’ latest opening features three distinct exhibits that although different in theme, share the same approach and response to a constantly changing world. Julianna Menna’s “In The Cards” features her interpretations of six tarot cards: The Empress, The Emperor, The Fool, The Devil, Death and The Priestesses. In “Rapture,” David Seidman explores Catholic iconography, including Revelations and the Four Horseman. The third exhibit, “For The First Time,” is a group show based around first time experiences— including first loves and first heartbreak—featuring the work of Jana Brike, Jessica Dalva, Reuben Negron, Heather McLean, Bao Pham, Erich J Moffitt, Maj Askew, Rachael Bridge, and Sheri DeBow. Through May 28. Arch Enemy Arts,

KI DS

40 Winks with the Sphinx The Penn Museum invites families to an overnight “expedition” of the grounds. Guests can tour the galleries and enjoy loads of fun activities, including a scavenger hunt and flashlight tour through the exhibits, before camping out by the foot of the largest granite Sphinx in the Western Hemisphere.

5:30pm. $50-$55. Penn Museum, 3260 South St. penn.museum AUT HOR

Arianna Huffington: The Sleep Revolution

TECH W EEK

Signature Event

Library, 1901 Vine St. freelibrary.org

Some of the coolest local tech companies, like NextFab, Biomeme and Cipher Prime, get together for this tech expo and demo party. Exhibiting sponsors include Comcast, CHOP, Temple, Clearvision and more. 6:30pm. URBN, 5000 S.

Broad St. 2016.phillytechweek.com OUTDOOR S

Fitler Square Spring Fair Gather ‘round the fountain at Fitler 4 | phillyweekly | May 4 - May 11, 2016

10am. Free. Fitler Square. fitlersquare.org

Creator of The Huffington Post, Arianna Huffington will be discussing her new book, about revolutionizing sleep patterns for a better and more rewarding life. 7:30pm. $30. Central

111 Arch St. archenemyarts.com

phillyweekly.com

Square for Mother’s Day weekend and indulge in assorted flea market wares, a silent auction and children’s activities.

COMEDY

The Naked Magic Show Good magicians don’t need sleeves and great magicians don’t need pants.

This show proves that. These two hot and hilarious magicians are coming to perform their acts all the way from Australia. 7pm and 10:15pm. $29.50-

$89. Merriam Theater, 1500 Walnut St. kimmelcenter.org

LOVE Your Park Week

SUNDAY, MAY 8

SATURDAY, MAY 7 C IVIC

LOVE Your Park Week A week-long celebration of Philly parks kicks off today with a city-wide service day encouraging you to volunteer to help clean up neighborhood green spots. The event continues with more than 100 events scheduled throughout the week. Various locations.

loveyourpark.org

D R INK

The World’s Largest Bar Crawl Help Philadelphia in the most important way possible: by setting the record for the World’s Largest Bar Crawl!

More than 10,000 people are expected to participate in the drinking event that will span more than 50 awesome drinking establishments, including Bru Craft & Wurst, JJ Bootleggers, Slainte, Lucky Strike and Chima. You don’t want to let your city down, do you? Noon–8pm. $5-$20. Various

$10-$30. Venturef0rth, 417 N. 8th St. 2016.phillytechweek.com

Average Superstar Films. 6pm. $9.

TALK

Trocadero, 1003 Arch St. thetroc.com

Crafting & Cooking

EVENT

R ACE

The Philaderby

The Million Dollar Bike Ride

Don your finest hats and head to the Piazza to enjoy all the aspects of Louisville’s high society without leaving Philadelphia. The Kentucky Derby will be simulcast on the Piazza big screen while attendees participate in games, win prizes, and enjoy live music. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the “For Pete’s Sake” Cancer Charity. 2pm.

The third annual bicycle race is the longest one that starts and ends in the city of Philadelphia. The ride—which features three route options (12, 33 and 73 miles)—brings more than 600 cyclists and volunteers to Penn’s campus and has raised over $2 million for the Orphan Disease Center. 7:30am.

“Food in Jars” author Marisa McClellan and WHYY’s Morning Edition host Jennifer Lynn get together for a Mother’s Day talk about McClellan’s third book “Naturally Sweet Food in Jars.” McClellan will discuss how she has adapted her recipes to incorporate less refined sugar, all while maintaining safe canning practices. Participants will enjoy a tasting of jams and preserves crafted by McClellan as well as a cup of fresh brewed tea, courtesy of Valley Forge Flowers. 4pm.

Highline Park, 31st and Chestnut sts. milliondollarbikeride.org

$30-$35. Valley Forge Flowers, 503 W. Lancaster Ave., Wayne. whyy.org/events

COMEDY

COMEDY

Brian Regan

COMEDY BANG! BANG!

The stand-up comic known for his sarcastic and self-deprecating humor uses everyday experiences and references from his childhood to bring his audiences to tears. Regan recorded the first ever—and only—live Comedy Central special Brian Regan: Live from Radio City Music Hall this past fall.

Popular podcast and television show host Scott Aukerman is taping of one of his weekly shows in Philly this week. Featuring special guests Paul F. Tompkins and Lauren Lapkus, as well as an opening by Neil Campbell. 8pm. $29.50-$35. Keswick, 291

$35-$50. Piazza, 1050 N. Hancock St. philaderby.upcomingevents.com BE N E FI T

Music for All Ball 2016 Join Rock to the Future for a night of music and fun in support of free music education for Philadelphia’s underserved youth. The event features food, drinks, dancing, a silent auction and, of course, live music. 7pm. $55.

locations. thecrawl.com

Mummers Museum, 1100 S. 2nd St. rocktothefuturephilly.org

T EC H WEE K

S C RE E N

The Hacktory’s Robot Universe Showdown Philly Tech Week’s epic robot showdown kicks off with a “build your own bot battle.” All ages and skill levels are invited. Put your creation to the test during sumo-style robot battles for a chance to win a 3D printer kit. 10am.

Freedom Shorts XV The annual film fest dedicated to short films features multiple selections from around the world, including Bubble Cup, Techsquad, Operacion Preferente and Yun-Ho. Filmmakers will be in attendance and an award show will follow the screenings. Presented by

7pm. $47.50-$62.50. Merriam Theater, 1500 Walnut St. kimmelcenter.org

N. Keswick Ave, Glenside. keswicktheatre.com RUN/ WALK

Susan G. Komen For the Cure

One of the CFFA’s largest events touches down in Philly to raise money for Crohn’s and Colitis disease. 2pm.

This annual 5K run/walk for breast cancer awareness features a Rippedism warmup, and performances by the Mark Stinger Band, Jane Lopoten School of Dance, and Enon Tabernacle Baptist Church Trinity Drum Line. Kids can also get in on the fun during the Dash to Make a Difference race.

Free. Citizen’s Bank Park, 1 Citizens Bank Way. ccfa.org

7am. Philadelphia Museum of Art, Eakins Oval. komenphiladelphia.org/race

WALK

Philadelphia Take Steps for Crohn’s and Colitis

| phillyweekly.com | May 5 - May 11, 2016 | 5

MONDAY, MAY 9 SCREEN

STAGE

Philadelphia Jewish Film Festival CineMondays: Demon

I Will Not Go Gently

A modern-day take on possession and evil spirits, Demon tells the story of Piotr, a man overtaken by ghostly manifestations after finding skeletal remains at his wife’s family’s property on the day of their wedding. Polish film and television cinematographer Paweł Flis will be on hand for the screening. 7:30pm. $11-$13. The

Gershman Y, 401 S Broad St. gershmany.org

This one-woman show tells the story about hilarious characters going through a sort of midlife crisis. Written and performed by Jennifer Childs, co-founder of 1812 productions, the play displays her raw acting skills by playing characters from rock ’n’ roll widows to welfare queens. Through May 15. $28-$42. Plays &

Players, 1714 Delancey St. 215.592.9560.

1812productions.org

TUESDAY, MAY 10 STAGE

ater, 265 S. Broad St. wilmatheater.org

The Christians The Christians tell the story of Pastor Paul, who has turned a modest neighborhood church into a mega church complete with thousands of parishioners. On the day when the church’s debts are finally paid off, he preaches a controversial sermon that shakes the foundation of the church’s beliefs as well as his own marriage.

AUTHOR

Through May 29. $10-$25. The Wilma The-

Library, 1901 Vine St. freelibrary.org

Juan Williams: We the People Renowned senior political analyst and Emmy Award-winning writer Juan Williams talks about his new book, in which he profiles 20th-century men and woman who fulfilled the visions of the Founding Fathers. 7:30pm. Free. Parkaway Central

WEDNESDAY, MAY 11 SEXx 3.0

EVENT

EVENT

SEXx 3.0

Garden Sips

In celebration of National Masturbation Month, the creators of SEXx (2014) and SEXx Interactive (2015) bring us SEXx 3.0. It all begins with a TEDx-style event from 7-9pm at the William Way Community Center. The festivities then move to Franky Bradleys (1320 Chancellor Street) for a series of live performances about sexuality. 7pm. $5-$20. The William Way

Enjoy an after work happy hour in the stunning sculpture labyrinth of the Magic Gardens. Get down with classic crafts, enjoy vinyl tunes spun by local music organization BridgeSet Sound and sip on refreshments provided by Pabst Blue Ribbon, Barefoot Wine and I’m Coconuts Over You Rum. 5pm. $12-$20. Philadelphia

Community Center, 1315 Spruce St. 6 | phillyweekly | May 4 - May 11, 2016

Magic Gardens, 1020 South St. phillymagicgardens.com

| phillyweekly.com | May 5 - May 11, 2016 | 7

FOOD

|

BY JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

Pickle This Q&A with Food in Jars’ Marisa McClellan

P

hilly’s preserve priestess, author and blogger Marisa McClellan brings her canning expertise to life as she teams up with WHYY’s Morning Edition host Jennifer Lynn for a special Mother’s Day event at Valley Forge Flowers. McClellan is back with her third book, Naturally Sweet Food in Jars, filled with her trademark tips and pretty preserve pictures, but this time, less sugar. We caught up with McClellan to discuss the craft and why you needn’t be afraid of the can.

What’s the hot trend in canning these days?

Right now, the big trends in canning are exotic flavor combinations, natural sweeteners, and highly spiced pickles (both vinegar and fermented). Seasoned canners might want to dabble in adding chile peppers, coconut sugar, and swapping balsamic vinegar in for citrus.

What advice do you have for us non-preservers to get over our canning anxiety?

There are two things that prevent most people from trying canning. Fear and hassle.

They’re either worried that they might create something dangerous or they’re certain that canning is far too much work for them.

The truth is that as long as they are using recipes from reliable sources and start with small batches, it’s pretty easy and there’s nothing to fear.

Tell me a little bit about your new book. Is sugar content an issue in preserving?

My new book, Naturally Sweet Food in Jars, focuses on replacing refined sugar with honey, maple, agave, coconut sugar, fruit juice concentrates, and dried fruits. Traditional canning recipes use many cups of granulated sugar to achieve sweetness, set, and long shelf life. I use these natural sweeteners in much lesser quantities than you’d find in traditionally sweetened preserves, because they bring both sweetening and flavor to the various recipes. I use a product called Pomona’s Pectin to achieve a good set.

The one trade-off is shelf life. The naturally sweetened preserves don’t keep quite as well as sugar does, but it’s a swap I’m willing to make for flavor and less sugar.

Preserving has been trending for many years now, do you see this continuing?

There has certainly been a spike in interest in canning over the last several years. I do believe that while it may become less trendy, preserving will endure. It’s something that people have been doing for generations and I don’t believe it’s going to disappear any time soon.

What’s one of your favorite foods to can currently?

8 | phillyweekly | May 4 - May 11, 2016

My favorite thing changes with the seasons.

Right now, I’m delighted by strawberries, garlic scapes and asparagus. Soon, I’ll be swooning over sour cherries and apricots.

Have you seen the Portlandia “We can pickle that” skit? What’s the strangest thing you’ve preserved!?

I have seen that skit (and as someone who grew up in Portland, it felt slightly uncomfortably on the nose for me!). I have pickled a wide variety of things over the years, including eggs, butternut squash, and even chunks of green apple. I tend not to do anything too weird or wild, simply because I want to make things I actually want to eat.

I’m a lazy cook, what’s the easiest thing for me to start with?

Skillet jams and quick pickles are the best thing for lazy cooks. There’s a skillet jam in the new book that uses raspberries, but you could just as easily swap in strawberries. On the pickle front, try the Minty Pickle Spears.

Both make relatively small amounts that can be popped into the fridge after just a few minutes of active work.

What’s Philly’s preserving scene like in your opinion?

Philly has a really active and vibrant preserving scene. We’ve got a number of restaurants with amazing preserving programs (Kensington’s Martha immediately springs to mind) as well as folks like Amanda Feifer who are working on the cutting edge of fermentation. We’re also fortunate to have so much amazing produce, which makes it easy for average folks to preserve a wide array of gorgeous fruits and vegetables.

Sun., May 8, 4-6pm. $30-$42. The Barn at Valley Forge Flowers, 503 W. Lancaster Ave., Wayne. whyy.org/events/mothersday.php

SCREEN

|

BY ROB WELLS @RJWells1212

The Spirit of Independence PIFF it up this week.

T

he Philadelphia Independent Film Festival, which opens on May 4, will feature its usual mixture of thoughtful documentaries, introspective dramas, and inventive short films. During the four-day event, notable films from, not only the local Philly area, but from around the world, bring together directors, producers, actors and moviegoers in an interactive experience celebrating overlooked voices and innovative filmmaking methods.

Films from domestic and international talents will be screening, which explore politics, the trials of romantic relationships, the ramifications of war, and ancient star-crossed lovers. The amount of diverse titles is enough to get any film fan’s attention. But, those behind the PIFF pride themselves on this cinematic event being more than just a platform to screen these films for audiences, but to also help emerging filmmakers grow in a number of ways. We spoke with festival director Benjamin Barnet about the overall undertaking of the festival, how it helps developing filmmakers, the film selection process and the current state of the indie filmmaking industry.

What is the mission of the Philadelphia Independent Film Festival?

To screen globally independent local films. What that means is emerging artists take that local filmmaking in their respective community, whether it be Minneapolis, Minnesota or Paris, France, and introduce it to the Philly community. Local meets global. What can we teach the local film-making community? It’s important that independent filmmakers see this as their festival. It’s an opportunity to really give these freshman directors, producers and the like, the chance to answer for what they’ve made.

They get to answer for their work?

Can you elaborate on that?

It creates a real intense experience for the filmmakers. Puts them in a position to meet other directors, producers and actors like themselves. Expand their horizons. It’s a meeting of the minds. Every so often, those who are novices encounter those who are more experienced in the field. We really encourage panel discussions and audience and director interaction. The Q&A sessions we host, before and after the film, foster probing

questions. These questions really engage the directors, actors and such. Probe the situation. Puts them on the spot.

Something I often notice with film festivals is that most filmmakers don’t make the cut. Often untried with the rigors and aspects of the festival beat, they clamor to find a place that will screen their work. How does the film selection process work for PIFF? We get over 400 films for the Fest. We look at production, set design, acting, direction; all things to consider when looking at a film. However, we look at the films first before we discover production costs and what not. Right away you get a look into whether this film works. How’s the acting? Does the film engage you? When they get into very intimate and personal scenes, does it come across as genuine?

It’s all very subjective.

Things like bad lighting, edits, and audio can really take viewers out of a film and hurt them in the selection process.

Watching these things through repetition really helps. The Underground Film Forum, our selection committee, takes this process very seriously. We see how many can be accepted, then discuss it. A lot of hours, time and focus. It’s a very highly creative process. Quite exhilarating.

You Earn Your Body I WANT TO GET HEALTHY. I WANT TO LOOK BETTER. I WILL EAT RIGHT. I WILL EXERCISE. I WILL EARN MY BODY. #fittertogether CityFitnessPhilly.com @CityFitnessPhilly

Tell me about the selection committee, the Underground Film Forum.

The UFF began as a early representation of a crowdsourcing process by film fans. It spawned from the fact that years ago there was no place to screen digital films in the late ‘90s. It’s very “Speakeasy-ish”. They’ve now evolved and through their discussion and analysis, films are chosen.

What’s your take on the state of independent film?

There’s a Captain America film coming out and I really want to see it, as do other people obviously. The challenge is how do you attract audiences to smaller films when you have a massive entertaining blockbuster like that out in theaters? It’s difficult. I think it’s a wonderful time to be involved in independent filmmaking.

When you embrace the diversity of the indie genre, it can really be satisfying.

May 4-8. Various locations. philadelphiaindependentfilmfestival.com | phillyweekly.com | May 5 - May 11, 2016 | 9

ART

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BY JACQUELINE RUPP

Survivor Ink The “Live Through This” project teams up with Art Machine.

I

n recent decades, many diseases that at one time remained veiled in secrecy, shame or misinformation have become embodied by the struggles, pain and endurance of individuals, “This is the face of cancer” “I am HIV+.” Names and faces have gone a long way to personalize diseases and humanize the struggle. Except when it comes to mental illness and suicide attempts.

Say you survive a suicide attempt or have contemplated suicide. What does life look like afterward? Would you feel comfortable sharing your survival story with friends and family? What about coworkers? The public? Few posts on social media decry, “One year since I thought about killing myself.” The reasons for this are somewhat obvious. Your stability may be called into question by an employer, your family may blame themselves or you, if they perceive it as a selfish act. Your friends may distance themselves from you so as to not “put too much” on you, or simply because they don’t know what else to do. Much is discussed about how to prevent suicide, but only a small group of people have stepped out from the anonymous statistics to claim their role as survivors.

Dese’Rae L. Stage is changing that.

As creator of the “Live Through This” project, an online portrait series that documents the true stories of suicide attempt survivors, Stage is hoping to put a familiar face (people that look just like you and I) on the issue of suicide.

For Stage, a survivor herself, her work in advancing our understanding of suicide has come full circle. Originally she was drawn to suicide prevention work while studying psychology in college, but that path didn’t go as planned. “I went all the way to a PhD. program and, for whatever reason, my mentors were not okay with

me doing suicide research. So I ran away to New York, taught myself photography, became a concert photographer and, after three years of doing that, I realized I wasn’t super fulfilled.” And that’s when Stage returned to her original passion, this time, using her camera to end the lack of visibility she saw among suicide survivors.

“Live Through This” began six years ago, with Stage initially finding subjects via Craigslist “creative gigs,” with posts like “Attempt Survivors Wanted for Educational Suicide Prevention Project.” Despite constant flagging, her portraits became a portfolio and greater exposure led to subjects coming to her. “The more I talked about it, the more people came to me. I began a kickstarter, raised $23,000 in 30 days to take the project on the road to go across the country taking as many pictures as possible.”

Today, Stage says she receives emails every day from survivors interested in telling their story. She keeps a spreadsheet and when she travels, she reaches back out to arrange the sessions.

A typical photo session lasts about two hours, explains Stage. “We talk first, the prompt is, ‘Tell me your name, how old you are, what you do, and your story, as you see fit to tell it,’ and they just go. We usually talk for about an hour and I try to do the portrait after because the process is just that: someone just told me, and the world, this powerful story about how they lived through this and continue to live through it and now you’re looking into their eyes. It’s all about looking into their eyes.”

Stage adds that her only instruction during the photoshoot is simply: “Look into my lens.” “The whole idea of the project is that someone who’s been suicidal could be anybody, not just who you expect it to be.”

And now the project has not only become a resource

for organizations and universities to train their staff, but because it is one of the largest collection of stories of this nature, it’s being used in research, what Stage had always aspired to for her life’s work.

With the month of May being Mental Health Awareness Month, to mark the occasion, Stage is partnering with Tim Pangburn’s Art Machine Productions on a fundraising event to support the project. On May 6, artists at Art Machine will be inking suicide prevention themed tattoos, ranging in price between $50 to $150. Each artist participating has drawn up a sheet of art for visitors to select from. Along with the tattooing, there will be a gallery show of Stage’s “Live Through This” portraits.

For more info, visit livethroughthis.org

Marie Lindsey, a 23-year-old teacher from Takoma David Pajo, an L.A.-based musician known for his work with bands like Slint, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and Interpol.

“I had this suicide attempt, and then it was maybe a few hours after it happened where it really felt like a rebirth or something—a total turnabout in terms of my attitude—to where I just didn’t feel the way I did before, just a few hours earlier. I’ve stayed on that path... [There were] all these hands that were extended out to me right after it happened. I just didn’t know they were there before. I thought I was alone. That’s another dangerous thought—thinking you’re alone. So, now I’m aware of the red flags, the thoughts that you fully believe that just are not true.”

10 | phillyweekly | May 4 - May 11, 2016

Angela Wilson Ursery, a journalist/grant writer/ editor from Portland, OR. “My belief is that we need to not be afraid of [suicide], but ask, “What happens before the desire [to take your own life]?” … Sometimes there is no hope. I didn’t not kill myself because I had hope. I didn’t kill myself because I got information from the whole process of suffering and staying through it. I believe that a lot of people don’t have many options and suicide does seem to be a good idea, but for me the question is not, “How do we stop people from [dying by] suicide?” but, “How do we reduce their suffering?””

Park, MD. “A little bit over a year ago, I took part in an NIH study that studies mental health. This has been going since I was 10 months old, so it’s followed me this whole time.

They asked me all the same questions that they have been asking me ever since I can really remember. Once you’re an adolescent, you get asked certain questions, and they asked me all the same questions again. They said, “You are probably the happiest person we’ve ever met. Everything that you [answered negatively before, you’re now answering positively], and it’s genuine.

You’re not trying to just tell us what we want to hear.

You’re happy. You’re actually happy.” And for the first time, I felt like I was better.”

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| phillyweekly.com | May 5 - May 11, 2016 | 11

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South Street Spring Festival

C

elebrate your way into the beautiful Philadelphia weather by coming out to one of the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best and largest outdoor block parties. The South Street Spring Festival is back for its fourth year, and better than ever. This year, the celebration will take place along 12 city blocks, three more blocks than last year, on South Street, from Front to Eighth Street.

Festival highlights will include 30+ restaurants/bars serving outside, more than 125 boutiques and businesses catering to your style and shopping needs, 40 bands rocking three stages and seven performance areas, and dozens of artists selling their handmade wares. Headhouse Plaza will be transformed into a giant concert with grass, lawn chairs, games and beach balls. Children of all ages will enjoy free family fun in the expanded Kids Zone. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Spring Festival is one of, if not the, best music festivals in the City,â&#x20AC;? says Michael Harris, Executive Director of the South Street Headhouse District. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Come jam out for free to some of the top rising bands and performers in the region, from rock to blues, country to jazz,â&#x20AC;? Harris says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Between the different stages and various performance zones down the street, there

is music and entertainment on every block.â&#x20AC;?

Attendees with be able to enjoy al fresco dining and sips from 30 restaurants, bars, vendors and food trucks. The long list includes; Boyler Room, Chewyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, Cow and the

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LIBERTY BELLOWS : 5+ :; Â&#x2039; >>> 30),9;@),336>: *64

Accordions X Concertinas X Squeeze Boxes 12 | phillyweekly | May 4 - May 11, 2016

@libertydrones

Curd, Fat Tuesday, Lil Pop Shop, Primo Hoagies, Say Cheese Philly, Twisted Tail and more.

For the ďŹ rst time ever, on the Sideshow Stage, will be a Philly Taco eating contest. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t

be fooled by the name, these are not your traditional tacos. As the legendary challenge of many a late night on South Street, the Philly Taco combines an oversized Lorenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pizza slice wrapped around a Jimâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cheesesteak.

Beer lovers can delight in the 4th Annual Maifest Street Festival at Brauhaus Schmitz, which will bring the tastes of Germany to downtown Philadelphia. This portion of the festival will feature an abundance of German beers, traditional music and authentic dancers gathering around the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s largest maypole. Take advantage and feast on roast pork, Bavarian pretzels and sausages, among other tasty German treats. Kids might not be able to partake in the beverage imports, but they can get their faces painted.

If that wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t enough going on all at once, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also Free Comic Book Day and Atomic City Comics will celebrate with some special festivities, including free giveaways and superhero sightings.

You wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to miss this day of celebration that shows off all that South Street has to offer. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;ABIGAIL DUREY

Sat., May 7, 11am-8pm. Free. South Street, from Front to Eighth St. southstreet.com

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WATCHES & JEWELRY 309 South Street, Philadelphia, PA 19147 (215) 845-5930 | phillyweekly.com | May 5 - May 11, 2016 | 13

ART

|

BY JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

Get to Know Your Art Stars T

he 13th Annual Spring Art Star Craft Bazaar has become a Mother’s Day tradition at Penn’s Landing. Happening all weekend—and featuring more than 150 art and craft vendors— it affords plenty of time to snag crafty, albeit last minute gifts for mom. We asked the organizers of Art Star to introduce us to a few of the artists you’ll see at the bazaar and then gave each artist a mini-interview to learn more about their work and lives beyond the craft booth.

fictional character, who would you choose? I’m not sure my style fits any

What’s the biggest challenge setting up for a show like this? Hanging up all

of my favorite characters, but if Wes Anderson ever directs the Magic School Bus, I’ve got Ms. Frizzle totally covered.

the earrings takes forever.

Do you have a memorable customer moment? At my last show, a boy wanted

trip to a natural history museum. I’m always happy to answer questions about the pieces I make, and enjoy explaining what the more unusual things are. If you’ve ever wanted to know what mating slugs would look like as a necklace, come to booth #49!

to buy the barnacle locket for himself. His grandmother helped him try it on, and asked what he would put in it. He said, “A spider.”

Why should people come by your booth? I think my booth is like a mini

Where do you create your pieces?

What’s next for you?

What was the first item you ever made? The bat family necklace.

My workshop is basically most of the living room of the loft-attic apartment I have with my husband. I love working from home. I have an enormous table I made from salvaged I-beams sitting where I get nice light coming in from our bedroom skylights. My space is surrounded by nature books, art supplies, skulls and bones and antlers, collected bugs and pieces of plants, feathers, three orchids, and skin from an albino ball python that my husband gave to me for my 30th birthday.

Our bird, Turnip, is usually nearby yelling “Come here!”

I try to keep everything compact. My scroll saw is under the table, and I have an old exhaust fan I can move around as I work taped to a length of duct that I throw out the window. I have six wood burning pens I draw with; different styles of pen tips are good for different kinds of lines. I paint everything with ink and/or liquid acrylic, glue decorative paper on the backs, varnish everything, drill holes where the chain needs to connect and epoxy eyelets in. After all that, I use brass hardware, silk ribbon for the necklaces, and various beads and natural materials to complete each piece. I come up with new designs pretty often, mostly from falling down the Google image rabbit hole, but also from things I see outside or in books. I have like 10 ideas in my head right now that I don’t have time to try yet.

There are so many things I get excited about and want to make jewelry out of!

What’s your current favorite piece? I

Advice for aspiring crafters? Make it

sewing clothing since 2011.

have a mitosis necklace that I love seeing people’s reactions to. Most of my pieces are plants and animals, but I also think cells are amazing and beautiful. I like creating pieces that help other people see them that way, too, but it’s challenging to come up with designs that look both appealing and recognizable. I also just finished a new design of a neuron necklace that I’m pretty excited about.

interesting for yourself, and not just easy to reproduce.

Maris Hare Age: 31 Location: West Philly Company Name: Naturalists Cabinet How many years have you been making these pieces? I’ve been building my collection for a little over a year, but the process of figuring out all the different components took me another year before that. Everything I use is recycled or sustainable, and it took a lot of trial and error to put together. All I knew when I decided to make jewelry was that I wanted to draw every piece by hand, and that made me remember the wood burning tool I had as a kid.

If you could design something for a 14 | phillyweekly | May 4 - May 11, 2016

Three words to describe your pieces? Darwin’s voyage accessorized.

What music do you currently like listening to while crafting your pieces?

I need something to occupy my brain while I work, so I mostly listen to science podcasts, like Talk Nerdy and Skeptics Guide to the Universe.

I have boxes of rocks, bones and fossils waiting for me to learn how to make them part of my work. I also have some more craft shows coming up after this, and I’m starting to grow my presence in stores in Philly and nearby. Follow my Facebook page NaturalistsCabinet for updates and cool science articles.

be sewn in a number of cotton fabrics and it fits many different body shapes well. It’s a pleasure to sew, and women really enjoy wearing it.

If you could design something for a fictional character who would you choose? I think I’d like to work with Katniss Everdeen. Not in Capitol fashion, too flashy. At the end of the trilogy, after peace is restored, she would walk into my revitalized District 12 shop and say, “Betsy, please help me! I need a cool dress I can wear all summer long. Oh and it has to have pockets.”

Do you have a memorable customer moment? Just yesterday an Italian man walked into my shop looking for a dress for his sweetheart back home. I didn’t have the size he needed so I sewed one up while he toured Old City. He returned afterward to pick up a finished dress. That was awesome. Stuff like that is only possible when you make your own inventory.

Where do you create your pieces?

As a mom, I still depend on my home studio a lot, but I have a new workspace at 323 Arch Street Fashion Collective that allows me to make my clothing right in a brick and mortar boutique. It’s a valuable new component of my design process, to interact with customers while my product is being made. I get valuable feedback that helps me improve fit and style choices for future collections.

Advice for aspiring crafters?

Keep

making what you want to make.

(Photo by Denise Guerin)

Betsy Cook Age: 45 Location:

Collingswood and Philadel-

phia

Company Name: National Picnic How many years have you been making these pieces? As a brand, I’ve been What was the first item you ever made? I made a T-shirt-like top that I still make today, it’s become one of my signature pieces. The sleeves are plaid or have funky prints. There will be at least a half-dozen different versions of it at the Bazaar.

Three words to describe your pieces? Ack, not good at the three words game! Smallest Batch Fashion.

What music do you currently like listening to while crafting your pieces?

Birdie Busch. Super excited to hear her new album, Thunder Bridge.

What’s the biggest challenge setting up for a show like this? Hauling a tent and wrestling with its set up all by myself is usually the biggest challenge. But because I’m a mom that’s going to be working on Mother’s Day, I decided to spring for rent-a-tent service. I treated myself.

Now my biggest challenge is keeping my phone charged—to process credit cards.

What’s your current favorite piece?

Why should people come by your booth? I sew new small batches of cloth-

With summer around the corner, it has to be my cotton sleeveless sundress. It can

ing for each event, and the Bazaar will have some items I made just for that

Jedediah Morfit (Photo by Denise Guerin)

weekend. I’ll have some day-of-event special prices on current season styles. I also bring final clearance sale goodies to the tent markets that you can no longer find in my shop or online.

cost as much as a small car. I sold it to a Venture Capitalist, who bought it with a credit card, who hesitated less than I do buying a pair of sunglasses, or a pack of gum.

What’s next for you? I’m going to keep spreading the word about my new involvement at the 323 Arch Street Fashion Collective. Let’s see where that takes National Picnic this year. I’m also planning for the Old CIty Fest Fashion Show in October. It seems too far away, but fall will be here in a blink. Enjoy your summer!

Where do you create your pieces?

Jedediah Morfit

Three words to describe your pieces? The titles of two recent shows are

Age: 43 Location: Collingswood, N.J. Company Name: Jedediah Morfit Sculpture

How many years have you been making these pieces? I’ve been working as a sculptor for years and years. The laser cut pieces I’ll be bringing to Art Star are a relatively new direction for me; maybe two years?

What was the first item you ever made? I think the first sculpture I ever made was a life-sized paper mache version of the creepy bird-man on the cover of “The Stand,” by Steven King. My parents put it on the front porch for years to scare kids on Halloween.

What’s your current favorite piece?

My favorite piece is always the one I’m working on.

If you could design something for a fictional character who would you choose? I’d like to make one of the pro-

I converted my garage into a studio about six years ago. It’s convenient, but it means we don’t have a good place for the lawn mower.

Advice for aspiring crafters?

Re-

member, it’s a business.

both three words, and continue to describe the work well: Shallow And Cruel & Flat As Hell.

What music do you currently like listening to while crafting your pieces?

sold took me about a year to make, and

rd

Annual

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I am currently listening to something really terrible, a Japanese Teen Pop Metal band called Baby Metal. Usually, it’s better than that.

What’s the biggest challenge setting up for a show like this? Nothing sexy or interesting, I’m afraid. Mostly it’s just timing, and logistics.

Why should people come by your booth? Great looking stuff, and a winning personality.

What’s next for you? I’m doing a printmaking residency in San Francisco in August, and I’ve got a new series of sculptures developing in the studio. It’s a productive moment.

tective charms Hellboy carries in his pockets to ward off evil.

Do you have a memorable customer moment? One of the largest pieces I ever

3

Beer Fest @ St. Dominics 8510 Frankford Ave. ( I-95 north Cottman Ave. exit) Saturday May 14th 2016 from 12-5pm

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Art Star Craft Bazaar: May 7-8, 11-6pm.

Great Plaza at Penn’s Landing, 101 S. Columbus Blvd. artstarcraftbazaar.com | phillyweekly.com | May 5 - May 11, 2016 | 15

STAGE

WIN 2 TICKETS

|

BY JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

Elixir of Love T

at Phillyweekly.com/contests

“La Verità takes you into a dream space, ”

he final production of Opera Philadelphia’s season got off to a dramatic start when, due to illness, the lead role of Nemorino in Elixir of Love had to be recast with just days before its debut. Step in Dimitri Pittas, who flew into town to take on the last minute challenge. We talked to Pittas in between rehearsals to find out more about the opera and what it’s like to land a lead on a moment’s notice.

+ + + +

~ Sydney Daily Review

When did you first find out about the role opening and that you’d be travelling to Philly?

MAY 13–14

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Last Wednesday, I am in my home in Charleston, South Carolina, getting ready to head up to my wife’s family’s house in Richmond, Virginia for Passover, and I get a call from my manager to the effect of asking if I would be willing to come and replace the ailing tenor who’s fallen ill. So I said yeah, okay. So instead of just packing for a weekend, I packed for three weeks and got in the car and starting heading up here. I got to spend the morning with my family, and helped prepare for a Passover dinner for 30 people. I flew up on Wednesday afternoon, and by 6pm, I was rehearsing with the maestro, so it was hectic. But, it was a production that I had debuted, I premiered, so I’m fortunate in that most of the staging is something that is organic and it comes from me and inside me and something that works well with the director.

So would you describe this as a perfect scenario? If you were going to have a last minute casting like this, it would be with this production?

Yeah, exactly. And I’ll tell you what, there was another time last year, I was singing La Boheme in Paris, and I had just done my last performance, it was a matinee. I was having dinner eating oysters and drinking champagne and getting ready to celebrate the upcoming new year and I said, “You know what, let me just check my email.” And I had an email from the general director at the Deutsche over in Berlin, and he said “Dimitri, our tenor fell ill, would you come and do the production that you just premiered and created in May?”

It sounds like you’re the official go-to for Elixir.

You know, if I could do Elixir once a season or twice, I’d be a really happy tenor.

Really?

No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited or restricted by law. Employees of Philadelphia Weekly, TriStar Pictures and their immediate families are not eligible.

Please refer to screening passes for additional restrictions.

IN THEATERS MAY 13 16 | phillyweekly | May 4 - May 11, 2016

The bel canto style is very good, it’s very healthy for the voice. It’s often said that these roles are like medicine for the voice, and to be able to just go back there and sing it and get everything lined up again is really wonderful. So I love having Elixir in my repertoire every season, and because of that, I can always pull it out of my back pocket whenever I need it in a moment like this.

Tell us more about the production and what audiences have to look forward to.

Just relatable characters. There’s no thinking, well I mean there’s some thinking, but the audience doesn’t have to wonder why is this character making this choice. I think it’s very clear. I think Stephen Lawless, the director, tells the story in a wonderful way, in the period in which we set it. Obviously, there’s this car that everybody talks about, it’s a wonderful car. It’s just the cutest thing.

And when you see this car roll out, I just love hearing the audience react to it. And it brings people back to their youth, which is important because it is a youthful opera. It’s about love, it’s about two people that have constantly kind of missed connecting and finally it all comes together in the end.

Elixir of Love, was there any time in your life where you would have drunk a potion to make someone fall in love with you?

Again, it’s youth. Young people go to desperate measures. I can remember in my junior high school years and my high school years just being completely over my heels in love with somebody and them not even knowing who I am. But I think the elixir stands for more than just a bottle of something potent enough to be able to make somebody fall in love with you, it’s fate that can bring two people together and things that can happen in life that will allow two people to connect in a way that they realize they’re meant to be together for the rest of their lives.

Is this a good starter opera for someone who may have never attended one?

Oh totally. The music is entertaining, it’s a comedy, which is always easier to get people to enjoy. I’m just so happy to be a part of it, to help out Philadelphia, and to get to revisit this fantastic production again.

Through May 8, times vary. $179-$19. Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St. operaphila.org

MUSIC

|

BY JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

5 Questions With... mentation, where sound we seek out is a naturalistic form of expression, more of an instinctual approach.

2. Watching your videos, they each feel very poetic, do you feel your music has that same quality? Do you see the world that way?

A DEAD FOREST INDEX 5/13, Underground Arts With their debut album In All That Drifts From Summit Down and their first North American tour underway, the veteran New Zealand duo are spreading their trancy minimalist sound to the States.

With global influences ranging from Tibet to India to Romania, the brothers of A Dead Forest Index combine spiritual, hymnal stylings into a pop sensibility.

You’ll use the word ethereal a lot when describing a listen.

1. Does the world need more simplicity in sound with all of the electronic media and technology we’re immersed in?

That’s an interesting question, I think that in our band we strive for simplicity but it’s the artist’s inner world whether chaos or quiet is at the forefront. We are both traditionalists in the sense of instru-

The visual side to things is always really wide open, but we’ve been lucky to work with some remarkable artists who can turn a spark of an idea into something completely new to us. The poetic feel to the clips we’ve made is certainly an outlook that we subconsciously hold dear (as words are the stem of our songs) sometimes there are literal meanings but it’s often abstract, with an aim to paint something vivid.

3. There’s a bit of a haunting quality to your sounds. What creeps you out?

So much about our times! But hard to articulate in one sentence...

4. Who is a guilty pleasure on your music playlist right now?

Michael Jackson’s Dangerous and History are always close (but I can’t say that’s a guilty pleasure) and a lot of R.E.M at the moment (sorry, again not guilty at all).

5. What do you miss most about New Zealand?

The ocean, the sand, the power of the weather...

VÉRITÉ 5/16, Boots & Saddle Alt-pop artist VÉRITÉ drops her new EP, Living on May 6, which includes her latest singles “Constant Crush” and “Underdressed,” which have nabbed her more than 2 million streams on Spotify. Mixing relationship angst with techno-club beats, the former Applebee’s server infuses some singer-songwriter depth into the shallow end of eletro dance pop.

fixated and shameless.”

1.What’s one of your worst memories of being a server?

3. Who would you like to collaborate with? James Blake.

Waking up at 5am every day.

4. Where do you write usually?

2. If you had to choose a single line of lyric from your latest release that you feel the most happy about, what would it be?

I start a lot of ideas walking. Then I’ll take them into my small home studio or to a producer’s studio.

Gesture. “I spent the night reviewing captured constellations. And in the morning I lie, reliving tiny revelations,

5. What’s your favorite thing to do after a show?

Eat and sleep. Always. | phillyweekly.com | May 5 - May 11, 2016 | 17

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage | Twitter: @FakeDanSavage

Virgin Territory

I

’m a 31-year-old straight woman. I have a good job, great friends, and average attractiveness. I’ve dated close to 30 men at this point, and I can’t wrap my head around this: I’ve never had a boyfriend or dated anyone for more than a couple months. It’s really starting to wear on my self-esteem. I don’t believe anything is wrong with me, but the more time goes on, the more I think I have to be doing something wrong. The guys ghost me or things fizzle out or we’re not at the same point in our lives. This is particularly true for one guy I’ve remained friends with (common social circle) who is struggling with his career, though things are still awkward because it’s clear there’s still something there. Another area of concern: I’m still a virgin. Catholic guilt resulted in me being a late bloomer, with my first kiss at 21. Once I got more into dating, my low self-esteem coupled with the fact that I’ve basically decided I want to be in a monogamous committed relationship with a guy before having sex, relationships just never happened. I don’t have unrealistic expectations that I’ll marry the first dick that sticks itself into me—but I’ve waited this long, so I’m not going to jump into the sack with just anyone. The only guy I really do trust is Somewhat Depressed Guy, but propositioning him could further complicate our already awkward friendship. Is something wrong with me, and what the hell should I do? —What’s Wrong With Me? I get variations on the first half of your question—is something wrong with me?—all the time. But it’s not a question I’m in a position to answer, WWWM, as I would need to depose a random sampling of the guys you’ve dated, interrogate your friends, and grill you under a bare lightbulb for a few days to figure out what’s wrong with you.

And you know what? Nothing could be wrong with you. You may have pulled the short straw 30 times in a row, and you just need to keep getting out there and eventually you’ll pull a guy who won’t ghost or fizzle on you.

As for the second half of your question…

What the hell should you do? Well, gee.

What you’ve been doing hasn’t worked, WWWM, so maybe it’s time to do something else. Like fuck some dude on the first date. Or if that’s too drastic, fuck some dude on the second date. Or better yet, go to Somewhat Depressed Guy and say: “I don’t think you want a relationship right now, and I’m not sure I do either. But I like you and trust you, and I could really use your help with something…”

While the commitment-and-monogamy-first approach has worked for some, WWWM, it hasn’t worked for you. And being a virgin at 31 isn’t boosting your selfesteem. There are lots of people out there

18 | phillyweekly | May 4 - May 11, 2016

who jumped in the sack and did a little dick-sticking with people they barely knew but had a good feeling about. The jumping/ sticking approach doesn’t always lead to committed and/or monogamous relationships, but it can and it has and it does.

Somewhat Depressed Guy might be somewhat less depressed if he was getting some, you might have higher self-esteem if you finally got some, and dispensing with your virginity might make dating after you part ways—if you part ways with him (you never know)—seem a lot less fraught.

I’m a virgin in my late 20s. I’m not waiting until marriage, just for the right person. I’ve dated enough and had enough fun to continue being a happy, normal, socially competent guy, much to the disbelief of my various knuckle-dragging, vagina-blinded pals. I’ve been dating this gal for a few months. She’s special—we have tons of chemistry and she cares about me. We had a brief conversation about my lack of sexperience when we first started dating, and she was very cool about it. I really like this girl, but I’m not sure yet if she’s the future Mrs. I am a worrier (thanks, mom!), and I find myself thinking that if I share this with her and somewhere down the road we end up breaking up, she’s going to be even more devastated because I shared my first time with her. Am I just having silly virgin worries? Not only am I concerned about her feelings if things don’t work out, but I’m also concerned that I might become vagina-blinded—that I might immediately tell this girl I want to spend my life with her just because she’s having sex with me only to find myself a few years down the road feeling trapped. What should I do?

—Very Indecisive, Really Gettin’ Naughty You should fuck this girl already—provided, of course, that this girl wants to fuck you.

You could wind up saying things you come to regret or have to walk back—her vagina might be that bedazzling—but that’s an unavoidable risk, and not one that’s unique to virgins. The right vagina, ass, face, skill set, or bank balance can blind a fucker with decades of experience. The only way to avoid vagina-blindness—or ass-blindness, etc.—is to never have sex with anyone. And I don’t think you’re interested in celibacy, so stop freaking out about the risk that you’ll imprint, duckling-like, on the first vagina your pee-pee sees the inside of.

You must also eliminate “sexperience” from your vocabulary, VIRGN, as it’s equal parts cloying and annoying.

There’s more Savage Love!

Read more at ph.ly/savage Ask a question: mail@savagelove.net

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MUSIC

|

BY A.D. AMOROSI @ADAmorosi

You Slay Me Q&A with The Brian Jonestown Massacreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Anton Newcombe.

O

ne of the things thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been most true about The Brian Jonestown Massacreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Anton Newcombeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; its leader, often its sole member since its 1990 startâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is that it takes little provocation to wind him up.

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ďŹ ne, as that has provoked Newcombe/Massacre to proliďŹ cally produce scads of psychedelic-ized work, as he has with a recent mini-LP (Thing Wingy), an EP (Plus Minus), soundtrack project (Musique de ďŹ lm imagine), â&#x20AC;&#x153;a bunch of singles, 45 songs that I recorded before this tour,â&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;upcoming albums in Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Get Lost and Third World Pyramid.â&#x20AC;? In anticipation of TBJMâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s May 6 show at Union Transfer, I spoke with the boyish, chatty Newcombe.

Rather than try to craft a usual narrative, hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s but a Q&A glimpse into our rapid ďŹ re, stream-of-conscious chat.

To what do you attribute this burst of creativity?

I just love being in the studio. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not as if I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the songs. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll just keep making them. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m 48-years old, love what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m doing, play 80 instruments and I have a great engineer. If I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know how to do something, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll ask. I know how to use Google.

Do you feel as if your time then is best spent in a studio than on the road?

No, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to come there and blow your mindâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;be a force to be reckoned with. By the time we get to Philly, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m

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sure weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be nutsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;we always have a good time there.

The past TBJM shows in Philly are, yes, legendary.

Connect the dots with your relationship to Philly.

Well, sometimes I think that Kurt Heasley just dreamed me up. On the one hand, I love that Quaker thing. On the other, Ben Franklin as an evil mother fucker. He wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ordinary. He went to France to borrow all that money and turned around and had that same guy he got the cash from beheaded so that he wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to pay it back: the oldest trick in the book.

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s how we fuck you over in Philly. We invented that game.

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s how you rollâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;right between Genoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and Patâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s.

So, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stay talking France for a second because this whole Musique de ďŹ lm imagine project is Godard-inspired. You wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be the ďŹ rst composer to imagine a fake ďŹ lm in his headâ&#x20AC;Ś Let me stop you though. I played a trick on everyone in France, everybody in general. The ďŹ lm that I wanted to do didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exist because of the way the movie business exists.

Web series. Game of Thrones. These are their own entities. But the big movie business is nothing but product placements. Formula. No one makes movies for the fuck of it anymore. I just kept saying I wanted to do a movie, so Philip John who directs Downton Abbey was going to do this ďŹ lm, and I was going to do the soundtrack. I was pumped. Then they had to push the ďŹ lming back. Fuck thatâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;I did the soundtrack. The press in the U.K. got wind of that, and thought I had my nose in the air about recording with French movie stars (Asia Argento is one of

its singers), that I was alienating my fans. Now, it is in a ďŹ lm, and I tricked everybody. I have another soundtrack comingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;for Moondog, a Scottish indie ďŹ lm. Do some really weird stuff.

Because there is not enough genuine weirdness on the planet.

Anything to do something more interesting that Beyonce. People do records that take three years to make and everyone thinks that it is the best thing on earth.

The composers of the Baroque period wrote 200 pieces at a time and you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even know their individual names. Bach has thousands of works. Drake doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hold a candle to all that.

To say nothing of you releasing all these albums and singles all at one time.

I wipe my ass with contemporary culture. Prince? Everyone is going on and on about him, but look at songs that he did like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Get Married.â&#x20AC;? That song sucks. Bullshit.

They say he has thousands of songs that he vaulted awayâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;trust me. There are probably damn good reasons that he never released some of that shit. He probably had a thousand songs like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Get Married.â&#x20AC;? Not the ones that make you cry like Sinead Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Connor did. Think about the soundtrack to Batman. Horrible. You have it all sewn up with the Philly sound.

I agree. Wait, how so?

You want badass? Forget BeyoncĂŠ. Dig Susan Christie singing â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yesterday Whereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s My Mind.â&#x20AC;? That will blow you away. That is your sound. Â&#x201E; Fri, May 6, 7:30pm. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com

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CENTER CITY PHILA.

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4 New construction Carriage homes starting at $599,000 Studios $130,000 to $160,000 4 beds/3.1 baths; 2 car garage; 1 Bedrooms $250,000 to $300,000 Open Floor plan with 2600+ Sq ft 2 Bedrooms $300,000 to $450,000 3 Bedrooms $400,000 to $550,000 MAIN LINE SUBURBS @eZcl[\j i\Xc \jkXk\ kXo Â&#x203A; Ef kiXej]\i kXo NEW LISTINGS 331 N Lansdowne Ave, Lansdowne 515 Hamilton Road, Merion Station + 9\[&) 9Xk_2 )*,( :fcfe`Xc )*0#''' + 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )*() jh ]k :fcfe`Xc ,00#''' 60 Barren Rd, Newtown Square 154 Upland Ter, Bala Cynwyd + 9\[&)9Xk_2 ()(/ jh ]k :Xg\ )-,#''' , 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )()- jh ]k Kn`e ,*-#''' 749 County Line Road, Bryn Mawr 1107 Cromwell Road, SpringďŹ eld Twp * 9\[&( 9Xk_2 (*0, jh ]k <e[ Le`k Ifn (.,#''' * 9\[&) 9Xk_2 (,+) jh ]k IXeZ_ *,'#''' 8323 Twitchell Road, Elkins Park 1411 Waverly Rd, Gladwyne * 9\[&) 9Xk_2 (,,* jh ]k :Xg\ (-+#000 , 9\[&,%) 9Xk_ E\n :fejkilZk`fe (#0,'#''' 141 Overbrook Pkwy, Wynnewood + 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 *()' jh ]k :fcfe`Xc +/0#''' 360 Gulph Hills Road, Wayne 200 Walnut Avenue, Wayne , 9\[&*%) 9Xk_2 )-(. jh ]k :fcfe`Xc - 9\[&* 9Xk_ M`Zkfi`Xe n&>l\jk ?flj\ (#)+0#''' $560,000 33 Aberdale Road, Bala Cynwyd 807 Bowman Ave, Wynnewood , 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 )/(- jh ]k :fcfe`Xc -),#''' + 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 *'0) jh ]k :fcfe`Xc -.,#''' 220 Twinings Lane, Wayne 56 Cornell Road, Bala Cynwyd , 9\[& +%) 9Xk_2 ,#-+- jh ]k :fcfe`Xc (#*),#''' * 9\[&* 9Xk_2 IXeZ_ +''#''' 377 Maplewood Road, Merion Station + 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 ))'* jh ]k :fek\dgfiXip ,.,#''' JUST REDUCED 1150 Grandview Ter, Wayne 3538 Oriole Dr, Huntingdon Valley + 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 +)+0 jh ]k Kfne_flj\ /00#''' , 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 *,+* jh ]k Jgc`k$C\m\c +*0#''' 7001 Wayne Avenue, Upper Darby 1224 Lafayette Road, Gladwyne - 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )/+, jh ]k :fcfe`Xc )''#''' , 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 *('' jh ]k :fcfe`Xc .00#''' 20 W Turnbull Avenue, Havertown 1349 Wooded Way, Bryn Mawr + 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 ),-+ jh ]k i\_XYY\[ Zfcfe`Xc ,''#''' . 9\[&-%) 9Xk_2 0(0/ jh ]k :fcfe`Xc CONDO LIVING $1,799,000 191 Presidential Blvd, Bala Cynwyd 941 Bryn Mawr Avenue, Penn Valley R903: ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 0.( jh ]k :fe[f ()*#0'' - 9\[&,%( 9Xk_# /)*( jh ]k EfidXe[p R901: ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 0+* jh ]k :fe[f (,'#''' $1,155,000 824-25: ) 9\[&) 9Xk_2 )('' jh ]k :fe[f +00#''' 4812 Church Road, Doylestown 3600 Conshohocken Avenue, River Park - 9\[&, 9Xk_2 -++* jh ]k :fcfe`Xc Le`k )''01 ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 /(, jh ]k :fe[f ,0#''' $1,650,000 1600 Hagys Ford 2J, Penn Valley 2005 County Line Road, Villanova ) 9\[&(%( 9Xk_2 0-, jh ]k :fe[f ()-#''' , 9\[&*%) 9Xk_2 *+.- jh ]k :fcfe`Xc 19 Rock Hill Rd #4F, Bala Cynwyd ) 9\[&) 9Xk_2 ()(- jh ]k Le`k (00#''' $605,000

2012 Spruce Street, Rittenhouse Square , 9\[&, 9Xk_2 .(,, jh ]k Kfne_fd\ $3,690,000 NEWLISTINGS 1013 Carpenter St, Bella Vista * 9\[&) 9Xk_2 (+,. jh ]k Kfne_fd\ ++0#,'' 500 Lombard St, Society Hill * 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 )/'' jh ]k Kfne_fd\ .+0#''' 3112 Haverford Ave., Powelton Village ,9\[&)%(9Xk_2 (#00/ jh ]k Kfne_flj\ */0#,'' 303-5 S 11th St., Washington Sq West Le`k )1 ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 ..) jh ]k :fe[f )),#''' Le`k ('1 ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 /-/ jh ]k :fe[f )''#''' 1919 Walnut Street, Rittenhouse Square .#''' jh ]k :fdd\iZ`Xc JgXZ\ )#0,'#''' 1412 South Street, Avenue of the Arts :fdd\iZ`Xc JgXZ\ /),#''' 1600 Hagys Ford 8G, Penn Valley 1 Bed/1 Bath; 766 sq ft Condo $125,000 1001 City Ave EC801, Wynnewood ( 9\[& ( 9Xk_2 0(' jh ]k Le`k .0#''' 50 Belmont Avenue #410, Bala Cynwyd * 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 (#0.( jh ]k :fe[f ,00#''' 20 Conshohocken State Road #611, Bala Cynwyd ) 9\[&) 9Xk_1 (#.*, jh ]k Le`k )*0#''' 2001 Hamilton Street #517, Art Museum ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 -.+ jh ]k :fe[f ))0#0''

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