Philly Weekly 4-13-2016

4.14.16 – 4.20.16

NOW THRU APR 23 kimmelcenter.org

Game of Thrones Eric Smith Tech Week... it must be our

GEEK ISSUE

WC Photography

Philadanco: Global Artistry

“A smart, brazen and raunchy parody of political correctness.”

“Absolutely Thrilling!”

APR 20

$2

$2 1!

9!

T ST IC A KE RT T AT S

APR 15–17

T ST IC

FESTIVAL

APR 14–17

World class hip-hop dancers paying tribute to the obsession of fresh kicks!

~Philly.com

$2 ARTKETS 0! AT

~LA Weekly

Sneaker Suites

T ST IC A KE RT T AT S

The Wong Street Journal

EVENTS THROUGH APR 23 TICKETS GOING FAST!

EE FR

APR 22

APR 23

!

Vijay Iyer & Mike Ladd

Performances, rides, food, and more!

$2 9

T ST IC

APR 20–22

$2 ARTKETS 0! AT

Edwin Torres Wordsmithing like a boss!

PIFA Street Fair

Holding it Down: The Veterans’ Dreams Project

T ST IC A KE RT T AT S

Mi Voca Su Voca

FOR FULL FESTIVAL SCHEDULE AND TICKETS:

kimmelcenter.org/pifa PIFA Lead Sponsors

Kimmel_Pifa_PhillyWeekly_Apr13.indd 1

Media Partners

4/4/16 5:52 PM

WEdNESdAy, APRIL 13

IN THIS ISSUE:

3 PhILLy NoW

PERFoRMANCE

What to do this week

Action is Primary

An exhibition of improvisational research and performance led by choreographer Meg Foley, and featuring collaborating performers Kristel Baldoz, Marysia Stoklosa and Annie Wilson. Each one-of-a-kind performance features a mix of solos and duets.

8 FEATURE Geek Invasion

16 STAgE The Dumpsta Players

Through April 23. $20. Icebox Project Space, 1400 N. American St. actionisprimary.com

18 TIMAREE’S Body Great Explorations

ThURSdAy, APRIL 14

20 SAvAgE LovE

Food

Sweat

Food Truck Pop Up

22 REAL ESTATE 25 CLASSIFIEd

Courtesy great Philadelphia Comic Con FB

CONNECT WITH US! Facebook: Philly Weekly Twitter: @phillyweekly Instagram: @phillyweekly

Jay Sterin General manager Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 163 jay@phillyweekly.com

Jacqueline Rupp Editor-in-chief jacqueline@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyjackie

Anastasia Barbalios Managing editor anastasia@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyweekly

PHILLY WEEKLY 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400.

Classified: 215.354.3054

RPM PHILLY, LLC Publisher Perry Corsetti Philly Weekly is published Wednesday by RPM Philly, LLC, 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400. Distributed in Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery & Chester counties in Pennsylvania and selected other locations in southern New Jersey. Philly Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into a newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the management. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising. Contents copyright © 2016 by Philly Weekly. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

Philly Now

WhAT To do IN & ARoUNd ThE CITy • MORE AT PHILLYWEEKLY.COM Tell us about your upcoming events! Email info to managing editor Anastasia Barbalios at: events@phillyweekly.com

gEEK

Comic Con I t’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s... the Great Philadelphia Comic Con! While none of us may be Superman on a regular basis, on April 22-24 comic fans of all ages will get a chance to become any character they idolize. Philadelphia Comic Con will be hosting fan favorites like Robin Lord Taylor and James Frain from Gotham, Denise Crosby, Austin St. John from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Amy Jo Johnson, Kel Mitchell, Deep Roy, Johnny Yong Bosch, and many others. When you enter the show—before running over to your favorite character—make sure to fill out an entry form at the sign-up table for a chance to win an awesome prize.

You don’t have to know the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles favorite food or Spider-Man’s real name to enjoy Comic Con. There will be a wide variety of characters, illustrators, and cosplay professionals attending which pretty much guarantees a good time for anyone who likes a healthy dose of people watching.

The Cosplay Costume Contest spotlights the

craft behind the characters, from the intricate costumes, hair and makeup, to the custom-built accessories that cosplay enthusiasts live for. The contest will be held on Sunday, and participants must register before 1pm that day to be entered.

Further details can be found on the Greater Philadelphia Comic Con website.

Not only will attendees get a chance to take professional photo ops with their favorite characters from fantasy worlds, Comic Con would just be another cosplay meetup without the celebrity panel discussions and audience Q&As. This year’s panel discussions will also include illustrators and cosplay professionals. And if that’s not enough, your nerdy heart may just find its perfect match with geek speed dating all weekend long at the show. —MIChAEL BUTLER

April 22-24. The Greater Philadelphia Expo Center, 100 Station Ave., Oaks. philadelphiacomiccon.com

As part of Philadelphia’s Dining Out For Life fundraiser, 15 food trucks will be popping up all along Locust Street in Midtown Village to help donate money to the cause. Enjoy food from crowd favorites, inducing the Tot Cart, Mac Mart, The Cow and the Curd, Oink and Moo BBQ and more. Each participating truck will donate 33% of their proceeds to ActionAIDS. 11am-

2pm. 1300 Block of Locust St. dANCE

Kun-yung Lin/dancers

The South Philadelphia-based group of dancers unveils three world premieres in collaboration with composer Daniel Rhode.

The dance group will also be performing a bold revision of its acclaimed work, “Autumn Skin.”

8pm. $22-$38. Prince Music Theater, 1412 Chestnut St. kyld.org PIFA

Architecture in Motion

High-flying aerial dancers are set free on a super-sized playground comprised of wheels, bowls, and walls. The two performances explore the relationships between the dangers of our environment and the human body. 8pm. $19. Merriam Theater,

250 S. Broad St. pifa.org CoMEdy

Jon Lovitz

Known for his five year run on Saturday Night Live and roles in A League of Their Own and The Wedding Singer, Lovitz practically sweats comedy. 8pm. $25-

$38. Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St. heliumcomedy.com

phillyweekly.com | April 14 - 20, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 3

FRIDAY, APRIL 15

P@tou-Shooting

P I FA

Singles Meetup @ Concerto in Sea Major

Find that perfect someone, thanks to PIFA. Wear something in the signa­ ture PIFA blue or gold and meet­up with other art­loving singles at the one­of­a­kind performance of “Con­ certo in Sea Major” by Aquacoustique.

Straight Singles Meetup: April 15, 5:30pm. Independence National Historic Park’s Magnolia Garden Fountain, Locust between 4th and 5th sts.; LGBTQ Singles Meetup: April, 16, 3pm. Rodin Museum Fountain, 2151 Benjamin Franklin Parkway

The Navy Yard, 4747 S. Broad St. philadelphiaantiquesandartshow.com BENEFIT

Face of Dawn’s Place

Join the fight against commercial sexual exploitation, and celebrate seven years of helping women transform their lives. Dawn’s Place is a nonprofit organization dedicated to support­ ing victims of human trafficking. The benefit includes food, dessert, cash bar, and silent auction. 6:30pm. $100. Top of

the Tower, 1717 Arch St. P O E T RY

Sonia Sanchez Day P E R FO R M A N C E

Confessions Of An Un-Natural Blonde

Emerging drag queen Paige Turner heads to the City of Brotherly Love to perform her acclaimed solo show. The hilarious performance includes rapid­ fire comedy, parodies and videos that answer the question, “Do Blondes have more fun?” 8pm. $20. Franky Bradley’s,

1320 Chancellor St. spincyclenyc.com P I FA

The Wong Street Journal

Part TED talk, part amateur hip­hop performance, and part travelogue, per­ formance artists and comedian Kristina Wong breaks down the complexities of global poverty, privilege and economic theory. Wong combines personal nar­ rative with an examination of Amer­ ica’s legacy on the rest of the world.

8pm. $20. The Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org S H OW

Philadelphia Antiques and Art Show

One of the finest and most prestigious antique shows in the country is back.

This year’s show promises a wide display of furniture, fine and decorative arts, antique jewelry, folk art, and, for the first time, contemporary art.

11am-8pm. $20-$600.

4 | Philly Weekly | April 14 - 20, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

This year’s Philly Love Poetry Festival features a day dedicated to poet Sonia Sanchez. The event will be the official unveiling of a limited edition print between Sanchez and artist Allan L. Edmunds, and will feature a screening of “BaddDDD Sonia Sanchez,” a perfor­ mance filled documentary with jazz­ac­ companied performances of her work.

5:30pm. Brandywine Workshop, 730 S. Broad St. moonstoneartscenter.org FO O D

Noshhh

Sample hand­crafted cocktails, beer, coffee, and food from the newest Philly spots during this speakeasy­themed food and drink showcase. Cocktails will feature spirits from Philadelphia Distilling, and Manatawny Still Works and New Liberty Distillery will be of­ fering samples. Beer will be provided

by Broken Goblet Brewing, Evil Genius, and Saint Benjamin Brewing Co. 7pm.

$35-$50. Indigo Bleu, 3870-72 Lancaster Ave. noshhh.ticketleap.com C O M E DY

Mani Pedi: Careful Now

Philadelphia’s all­female comedy team, brings you Careful Now; The world is ending for these four girls, but they are singing and laughing their way though it. It’s the apocalypse and it’s a swell time. 8pm. $7-$10. Asian Arts Initiative,

1219 Vine St. manipedisketch.com

phillyweekly.com | April 14 - 20, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 5

SATUrDAY, APrIL 16

Ode to Earth

EVENT

DANCE

We Present returns to the One Art Community Center to deliver another day filled with powerful positive vibes. Begun in the summer of 2015, We Present is simply a group of good friends with similar ideas, who believe in organizing inspiring get-togethers that interact many styles of music and art. The group’s main focus is to host gatherings where like-minded individuals come together to share their love for art, music and good energy. Ode To Earth 2 helps raise awareness of various non-profits and the importance of taking care of the planet and self. A full sensory experience, the event features a variety of musicians, visionary painters, vendors, communal workshops and much more.

Catch performances by Yheti, Of the Trees, Nocturnal Status and Digital Ethos as Chris Dyer, Jeremiah Allen Welch, Raf Mata, Mekowhy and Caiti Deane take control of the astonishing all-day live painting. 2pm. $25. One Art Community

The international mask and dance theater company ArcheDream for Humankind uses black light to expose inner and outer landscapes and archetypal emotions. This show will allow the audience to explore the color wheel in the magic of black light. Watch as colors emerge and blend together through dance.

Ode to Earth 2

Center, 1431- 39 N 52nd St. wetickets.life

FESTIVAL

Bucks County Wine Trail’s Arts Festival

All nine Bucks County Wine Trail wineries will showcase their fine wines alongside the work of local artists. Buckingham Valley Vineyards will feature the work of Andrea Santoro, Kevin Forest and John Matthews. Crossing Vineyards will showcase paintings by artists Betty, Kim and Christian Minnucci. Rose Bank Winery will feature artwork from Craig Hackett and Wycombe Vineyards will display the artwork of B.A. Stoll among others. April 16-17. Crossing Vineyards &

Winery, 1853 Wrightstown Road, Washington Crossing. buckscountywinetrail.com 6 | Philly Weekly | April 14 - 20, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

ArcheDream in Technicolor

7:30pm. $12-$15. Shiloh Baptist Church, 2040 Christian St. philadelphiadance.org PIFA

PHILADANCO

Philly’s modern dance company presents its spring performance, “Global Artistry,” as part of the Philadelphia International Festival of the Arts. The performance includes three world premieres featuring dancers from Vietnam, the Philippines, Jamaica, and Omaha, Nebraska. Through

April 17. $29-$46. Perelman Theater, 300 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org STAGE

WaistWatchers The Musical

Set in Cook’s Women’s Gym, WaistWatchers takes a sidesplitting and lighthearted look into the lives of four women dealing with their obsession with food and assorted body image issues. With 22 song parodies, the women take on dieting, exercise, plastic surgery, sex and the search for self-love. Through May 9.

Penn’s Landing Playhouse, 211 S. Columbus Blvd & Walnut St. plplayhouse.com COMEDY

Comedy Underdogs

Headlining this night of laughs is winner of Philly’s Phunniest competition, James Hesky. Joining him will be the hilarious Bino Brogden, Brian Guay, Dave Primiano and Josh Kosh. 7:30pm. $10. L’Etage,

624 S. 6th St. creperie-beaumonde.com

SunDAY, April 17 FOOD

6th Annual Chili Cookoff

Fishtown residents will be putting their best batch of chili up against some of Fishtown’s finest restaurants in a battle of the beans. Prizes will be awarded for “Best Restaurant Chili” and “Best Homemade Chili,” but it’ll be up to a panel of local celebrity judges (including PW’s Jacqueline Rupp) to decide which cook—amateur or professional—walks away with the grand prize. Returning this year are 2015 winners Fette Sau and Lloyd Whiskey Bar, along with Loco Pez, Johnny Brenda’s and more.

12:30pm. $20-$25. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. thefillmorephilly.com FESTiVAl

Sakura Sunday

The Sakura Sunday Celebration—the heart and soul of the Cherry Blossom Festival— features live music, dance performances, martial-arts demonstrations, origami and more. Enter your pooch in the Prettiest Pet in Pink Parade or take in the Harajuku Fashion Show, catch the Subaru Sushi

Samurai of the Year and more. 10:30am.

Fairmount Park’s Horticulture Center, 100 N Horticultural Dr. subarucherryblossom.org

CErEMOnY

2016 HErOES

The Delaware Valley Legacy Fund honors local people, businesses and allies whose work and commitment has helped advance the equality of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community. This year’s recipients include Mayor Jim Kenney, Malcolm Lazin, Deja Lynn Alvarez, Ibrahim Vicks, the Independence Business Alliance and Table 95 Hospitality. 12:30pm.

Hotel Monaco, 433 Chestnut St. dvlf.org pErFOrMAnCE

Cosplay Cabaret

Five Minute Follies pays tribute to classic cosplay characters from TV, film and comics. Starring Joe Riggs as Sherlock Holmes, Shoshanna Hill as the Tardis, A. Das Baron as The Joker, Michael Broussard as the Third Doctor, and Craig Liggeons as himself. 3pm. $15. The Rotunda,4014 Walnut St.

MOnDAY, April 18 FOOD

STAGE

Sing For Your Supper

The Stinky Cheese Man

Free. Hard Rock Café, 1113 Market St. hardrock.com

6/12. Arden, 40 N. 2nd St. ardentheatre.org

Hungry for your five minutes of fame?

Channel your inner artist and sing a song on Hard Rock Café’s stage to win one of their delicious Legendary Burgers. Noon.

Watch your favorite characters from the Caldecott Award-winning book come to life on stage. The production features Jack, Chicken Licken, The Ugly Duckling and, of course, The Stinky Cheese Man. Through

TuESDAY, April 19 TAlK

STAGE

Macbeth on the Couch

Always...patsy Cline

2111 Sansom St. phillyshakespeare.org

Walnut Street Theater, 825 Walnut St. walnutstreetheather.org

Join noted psychologist Dr. Gottlieb for an hour therapy session as he compares and contrasts marriage counseling with Shakespeare’s most remarkable villain, Macbeth, using the character’s relationship with his wife. 6pm. $15-$25. Shakeaspeare Theater,

A fun-loving, crowd-pleasing musical featuring 27 songs and the love story between Louise and Patsy, who through letters and visits, share simple and touching stories of laughter and heartache. 7:30pm. $30-$50.

WEDnESDAY, April 20 piFA

MuSiC

Sneaker Suites

Floetry

7:30pm. $21. Kimmel Center, 300 S Broad St. kimmelcenter.org

8pm. Theatre of Living Arts, 334 South St. venue.tlaphilly.com

Los Angeles-based hip-hop dance troupe, Antics, brings their unique show to the East Coast for the first time. A collaboration between the dance group and poet/ activist Mark Gonzales, the multi-layered performance ignites conversations about the material culture of today, encompassing dance, poetry, voiceover and theater.

Long known as ambassadors of the neo soul sound, U.K. natives Floetry have a stirring combination of sultry vocals and amazing songwriting skill. Songs like “Say Yes” will make the hairs raise up on the back of your neck and have you wanting to light some candles and call the object of your afection at three in the morning.

phillyweekly.com | April 14 - 20, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 7

PHOTO COURTESY PHILADELPHIA SCIENCE FESTIVAL

GEEK INVASION Philadelphia Science Fest The Science Festival is nine intense days of knowledge, including lectures, debates, hands-on activities, special exhibitions—and did we mention drinking activities, phew! Because our brains are starting to spin from the immense line-up, we sought the help of Dr. Frederic Bertley, the Franklin Institute’s Senior VP of Science and Education for help in deciding how to plan out the week.

Here are some of his top pics. Take it away Dr. Bertley:

Astronomy Night “A lot of people don’t actually know that in the city you can see a lot of stuff in the night sky. A lot of people think there’s too much light pollution. But there’s actually quite a bit you can see and different stuff in fact you can see from a city. We actually have the largest national star gazing party ever recorded. Thirty different sites throughout the Greater Philadelphia region, so there will be a star party virtually everywhere. Our chief astronomer, Derrick Pitts will be leading a group of amateur astronomers, but these are really different astronomer 8 | Philly Weekly | April 14 - 20, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

groups in the area that have great technical expertise, so they’re providing the technical expertise for the 30 different sites, and Derrick’s leading the whole exercise and he’ll be going from site to site, maybe hitting anywhere from five to ten sites throughout the evening. He’s our rock star, no pun intended.

“This is really at the heart of what the Science Festival is all about, we make science accessible. You wouldn’t go to Hawaii and try to use one of their telescopes. You’d be completely intimidated. In 5-20 minutes you’ll feel completely comfortable and it’s such a wow moment for people to look through the oculus for the first time and see some amazing things.”

The Science Carnival “Without a doubt this is my favorite part of the festival.

We have 150 exhibitors this year at Penn’s Landing, and that’s just really cool. In one acute space there’s something for everyone. You can be a PhD rocket scientist and there will be something for you. You can be someone that has had no exposure to science, but is just curious and there will be something for you. With it being at

Penn’s Landing this year, we’re working with the Seaport Museum, which will be open to the public and there will be booths between the Seaport Museum and all the way up Penn’s Landing. Because it’s such a festive location we’re expecting a really cool turnout.”

Explorer Sunday “Over 20 events happen this day throughout the city.

We’ve partnered with institutions of all kinds. One of my favorite things is The Big Day at Rowan University Fossil Park. It’s limited attendance to 100 or so folks, but this is where you actually get to do real digging, not fake digging at an active dig site and any fossil you find, whether it’s a big dinosaur or a really cool shell, you get to take home.”

Science After Hours “While we’re family focused, now we’re really hitting every age demographic. Definitely not just for geeks, Science After Hours has proved that over the years, it’s the cool people, the trendy people, the geeks will always be there, but basically now it’s cool to be a geek. Come out to party, but celebrate the joys of science.” n

phillyweekly.com | April 14 - 20, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 9

Philly Tech Week Philly’s brightest tech savvy enthusiasts come together to host a collection of events such as panel discussions, conferences and inventive workshops. Each year, a bevy of intriguing and amazing technological innovation is showcased at this hi-tech convention. Here’s a list of things you won’t want to miss:

Virtual Reality 4/28, 6-9pm Originating from the imaginative creators behind interactive videogames Guitar Hero, Rock Band and Dance Central, VirZOOM utilizes bicycling and introduces it to an intuitive and virtual world where you can pedal your way through a new and extraordinary domain.

MATLAB Motion Tracking 4/30, 1pm-4pm. University of Pennsylvania, 210 S. 33rd St. MATLAB is an astonishing new piece of camera tech that is not only trying to duplicate the brains’ abilities, but also the human eye.

GEEK DATING Eric smith

The 2nd Annual Women in Tech Soiree 5/04, 6-9pm. Industrious Office, 230 S. Broad St. The annual tech rendezvous puts a focus on programs, progression and education in technology in regards to women and other diverse groups in the Philly area.

The Hacktory’s Robot Universe Showdown 5/07, 11am-4pm. Venturef0rth, 417 N. 8th St. If you’re a fan of Rock em’ Sock em’ Robots, or showing off how cool your ‘bot looks, you don’t want to miss this creative and fun robotic showdown.

Free Comic Book Day Free Comic Book Day is held the first Saturday in May each year.

Some of the participating comic book stores in the area include Fat Jack’s ComicCrypt, Atomic City Comics, Brave New Worlds, Amalgam Comics, Ontario Street Comic Shop, and the Comic Collection.

The concept is pretty simple, and yes it involves the best word ever: “free.” Visit aforementioned comic book shop on May 7, wait in line as these tend to form when the word “free” is involved in an event, finally make it in the shop, get your hands on a free comic. No it’s not every comic in the store up for grabs. Just tossing any comic into your back pocket will get you in trouble. Each shop will have a special selection of comics to pick from, like Bob’s Burgers, Archie and Doctor Who. Not too shabby, right? Besides, it’s free, so you’re not allowed to complain. More info: www.freecomicbookday.com

GoT at Eastern State

Press pause on that YouTube trailer for Season 6 and experience a Game of Thrones event that promises to at least be better than the GoT dragon hologram at City Hall. On Wed., April 13, from 8-11 p.m., Brewery Ommegang partners with Eastern State Penitentiary to host a second launch party for Seven Kingdoms Hoppy Wheat Ale, the newest beer in the Game of Thrones series from HBO Global Licensing and Brewery Ommegang. The additional night was added due to the immediate sell out of the April 14 event, announced in midMarch, and they too quickly sold out. But with the internet and some determination, heck, anything is possible. Those who are able to snag tickets to this week’s GoT/beer shindig will be set on a journey to each of the seven kingdoms of Westeros where they will sample the new Ale along with other Ommegang varieties. Fire spinners, live music, a DJ dance party, and of course the Iron Throne itself, means this is just one selfie opp after the next for those looking to make their social media friends further feel fomo.

If you can’t make it to the Penitentiary, there’s always the beer, which will be released in time for the debut episode of GoT. The Ale combines a traditional Belgian-style wheat with a hop-forward American ale, at 6.9% ABV, Ommegang reps say it pours a hazy pale yellow with a thick cap of white foam, with a full, round hop flavor and an additional tart orange and lemon taste. The new brew is hopped with Bravo, Centennial, Citra, Cascade, and Columbus, and brewed with pilsner, white and red wheat, oats, and a touch of sugar to lighten the body. The brew will be available nationally throughout this month. n 10 | Philly Weekly | April 14 - 20, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

W

e asked Philly’s geek icon Eric Smith, co-founder of Geekadelphia, the Philly Geek Awards and author of the The Geek’s Guide to Dating for some love advice, for those who self-identify as geeks... and for those who love them.

How important do you think it is to have common geek-ish interests?

Not terribly important. Sure, you want to be with someone who understands you, but closing yourself off to someone new just because they don’t like this one-specific-thing, will absolutely result in your missing out on someone special. They don’t dig comic books or video games? That’s not the end of the world.

The great thing about dating and meeting new people, is that new people will open up your horizons. Introduce you to new things.

Instead of getting all worked up over the fact that someone isn’t into something you’re passionate about, take the time to learn about what they care for.

Online dating: good or bad for geeks? Can geeks play it too much like a life simulation game?

I think it’s good for everyone! We’re all extraconnected these days. There are apps for sharing absolutely everything about yourself.

What’s your advice for partners of geeks and nerds?

I think this advice goes for both parties. Again, it’s tough to connect with someone on absolutely every little tiny thing. You’re not always going to like the same stuff. I think the trick to all this, is finding little things where your interests intersect.

For example, I love sci-fi, comic books, video games... and my wonderful wife, she isn’t too into all that stuff. She loves her shows about detectives and crime, adores SVU and programs like that. Around the time the book came out, there was a show called Almost Human on. A detective/cop drama that just happened to be in the future with a robot.

That was the perfect mashup of our interests.

That show got canceled, but now Lucifer is on,

a police procedural based on Neil Gaiman’s comics. It works for us. It’s simple advice. Don’t force your geeky hobby on your partner. Find things you both enjoy.

Beyond dating, what’s some geek advice for married life? How much computer/ game time is too much?

If it takes away from the time you’d otherwise spend together, it’s too much time. I’m a big fan of taking a day off work to play a video game, that way I’m not spending all our nights taking over the television.

If you’re a hardcore gamer, again, find those things that intersect your interests. Maybe there’s a game out there you can both enjoy.

While my wife might not be into video games, she loves a good story. Telltale Games make the PERFECT titles to play together. It’s like watching a really long movie.

I have a friend who has had his comic book collection relegated to a small bottom shelf of a library. Any advice? What should partners know about the importance of geek collections?

Being in love is learning to share your bookshelves, geeks. Partners shouldn’t need to know anything here. If you’re the collector in the situation, you’re the one that needs to learn to share. That might be a controversial statement, but hey, you’re building a life together. This includes your library.

I’ve encountered a lot of debate over this question: What’s your definition of a geek currently?

I think geeks can be geeks for anything. It’s just someone who is incredibly passionate about something that it becomes a part of who they are. A part of their lifestyle. Me, I’m a geek for books, comics, video games. I write and represent the first, voraciously read (and sometimes write about) the second, and the last one... well, I’m just a major fan who sometimes cosplays as my favorite characters.

Your passion becomes a part of who you are.

Whether you’re geeking out over sci-fi movies, sports, or politics. There’s room for everyone. n

THE SMART SET FORUM 2016

FREE SPEECH ON THE COLLEGE CAMPUS WITH KEYNOTES BY

CAMILLE PAGLIA & LAURA BETH NIELSEN THURSDAY, APRIL 21 3:30-8:00 PM

MANDELL THEATER • DREXEL UNIVERSITY 33RD AND CHESTNUT STS.

FREE & OPEN TO THE PUBLIC • THESMARTSET.COM/FREESPEECH

SOLD OUT

SOLD OUT

FRIDAY, JULY 15

TH

THIRD EYE BLIND ”

CK BANDS IN THE WORLD

“ONE OF THE BIGGEST RO

phillyweekly.com | April 14 - 20, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 11

Comic Book Geek Dave Ebersole

By JACQUELINE RUPP

Photo by Kyle Cassidy

GEEK Parenting Stephen H. Segal & Valya Lupescu

L

ocal writer Stephen H. Segal has been looking for spiritual truths in fantastical, imaginative stories for most of his life. As the Hugo Award-winning creative director in the late 2000s of the spooky genre fiction magazine Weird Tales, he convinced fantasy novelists like Cherie Priest and Caitlin R. Kiernan to write first-person accounts of various strange and bizarre influences that had materialized in their real lives. His 2011 book, Geek Wisdom, collected famous and profound quotations from sci-fi movies and superhero comics. And during four years as the editor of our own Philadelphia Weekly, Segal wrote frequently about local geek-culture professionals.

Last week, the 41-year-old Mt. Airy resident celebrated the release of his new book, Geek Parenting: What Joffrey, Jor-El, Maleficent, and the McFlys Teach Us About Raising a Family. Co-written with Chicago author Valya Dudycz Lupescu, the equally geeky mom of three grade-schoolaged children, Geek Parenting (published by Philly’s Quirk Books) is a search through pop culture’s most beloved modern myths to find life lessons about raising good kids.

Segal and Lupescu consider the fictional families who star in pop culture’s most beloved fantasy, sci-fi and superhero stories, from the Skywalkers and the Bagginses to the Potters and the Parkers. What, the book asks, can parents learn from these fictional examples?

“We started by brainstorming as long a list of iconic geek-culture characters with significant family narratives as we could think of: Spider-Man and Aunt May. Morticia and Wednesday Addams. Deep Space Nine’s Benjamin and Jake Sisko. Anne Rice’s vampires Lestat, Louis and Claudia,” says Segal. “Then we started asking everyone we knew for more ideas. Eventually we winnowed it down to 100 families from TV, movies, books, comics and videogames whose stories had some element that particularly resonated with us. It was particularly important to us to showcase as diverse a range of geek culture as possible, both literarily and culturally. So, yes, you’ll find life lessons from Hogwarts and Westeros and Smallville in there, but you’ll also find, for instance, Fat Charlie and his dad from Neil Gaiman’s Anansi Boys; San and Moro from Princess Mononoke; Dana and her ancestor Rufus from Octavia Butler’s Kindred.” n Geek Parenting is available now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and wherever books are sold.

12 | Philly Weekly | April 14 - 20, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

P

hilly’s Dave Ebersole is widely known in the theater community for his directing and playwriting. Two years ago, with the launch of his first comic series, he branched out into a whole new genre.

With Dash, Ebersole introduced a gay main character within a supernatural noir setting. I caught up with Ebersole as he wrapped Angels in America Part One at the Players Club in Swarthmore to discuss diversity in geek culture.

Tell me about what’s been going on with Dash since its debut two years ago.

We’re working on finishing up the arch. We had originally planned this to be more of a bi-monthly kind of thing, but with independent comics, it can be a little (laughs). You’re doing everything. We have a wonderful publisher but you’re doing everything. The artist I work with, Delia Gable, she lives in Tacoma, Washington. She had a big move last year. We try to get it done.

How does that work for you, being on opposite coasts?

It’s fine. Especially when we were working on the whole concept of everything. We meet once a week over the phone. We knew each other through an acquaintance so we are in some of the same circles, so we have a lot to talk about all the time. I do a lot of theater in the area, so she’s been deep into Issue 5 and I’ve been kind of into that, so next week we’ll reconnect. But we text all the time too. Before the Internets and that sort of thing, the process was a lot slower, because you’d have to mail all the art. So it makes it easier just shoving it in an email to show somebody.

Why’d you choose this setting for Dash?

It’s set in 1940s Los Angeles, so my character is kind of constrained by that society. And he’s kind of an anomaly in that society. There was a lot of research that went into it, because I didn’t want to make it unbelievable. I love that era, I love L.A. It was a terrible time if you were a minority, but I love the style, I love the genre. I’m a classic movie buff.

It seems like there might be a lot of constraints for a gay character in that society though, unlike if you set him in present time?

He’s gay, but that’s not what the plot line is about. Like right now, he’s solving a murder of someone he was close to and there’s a mythical/supernatural mummy aspect to it. Sort of like the Humphrey Bogart noir movies.

They’re all my sweet spots, I love that old timey fashioned thing. A mentor of mine is Scott Snyder, he writes Batman and a bunch of other stuff. I took a class with him and he always told us to write the story we wanted to read and that was the story I wanted to read. And it wasn’t being told. I actually thought the restraints of the time gave me more story opportunities, than less.

You’ve talked about superhero characters typically being white heterosexual men. What are you trying to add to the comic landscape?

I know a lot of LGBT comic creators. I’ve had the privilege of working with some at cons and things, I’m with Northwest Press. The founder, Zan Christensen, he helped found Prism Comics, which is an umbrella organization for all LGBT comic creators. I think I’m coming in more on the tail-end. I’m personally very mainstream.

I like the big two, since I was 10, I’ve been in love with the character of Batman. But I realized over a certain amount of time that I subconsciously accepted that all characters in comics have to be white, straight men. It was weird when I realized I had accepted that, because that’s really not who I am at all. So I think recently, especially in the past year, there’s been a big push to break out of that mold. And some people are very reticent to it, but there’s an audience that’s out there, that wants to read all different types of stories. The more interesting the story is the one you follow, right? When you don’t have diversity, the stories are very limited then. When we did New York Comic Con this year, we were shocked by the number of people that came up to the booth.

Is it a challenge to break into the mainstream, rather than just be termed “the gay comic?”

I think that’s always there. That’s the “black comic” or if there’s a female superhero, that’s a “female superhero” instead of just being a superhero. There are these labels.

I think they’re starting to be broken down, especially with a lot of great independent comics that are getting more attention. My character is gay and he’s out and I’m not going to shy away from that. He just didn’t happen to be gay. No, I made him gay, it wasn’t an accident.

# P H LW I N E F E S T

@ P H I L LY M A G E V E N T S

An elegant blend of worldly flavors.

FREE WEEK OF TANNING

37 S. 16th St. 2nd Floor, Philadelphia, Pa 19102

New Customers Only 267.507.9114

www.phillytans.com

M AY 3 , 2 0 1 6 LINCOLN FINANCIAL FIELD

TICKETS ON SALE NOW P H I L LY M A G . C O M / W I N E A N D F O O D F E S T

PRESENTED BY

M E D I A PA R T N E R S

C H A R I T Y PA R T N E R

O F F I C I A L A F T E R PA R T Y

phillyweekly.com | April 14 - 20, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 13

Geek Burlesque STARK NAKED - A BURLESQUE TRIBUTE TO GoT PHOTOS: WC PHOTOgraPHy

G

ame of Thrones came to life in Philly this past weekend.

And not only were most of your favorite characters there on stage, many of them stripped off all their clothes to boot.

Finally the GoT I’ve always imagined! Er... Anyways, we caught up with the woman behind the throne, Liberty Rose (Cersei, pictured on our cover), who, along with her castmates Flirt Vonnegut and Francis Menotti wrote and produced Stark Naked which went down at the Trocadero this past Saturday.

How did you choose Game of Thrones next in your lineup of pop culture performances?

I’ve always liked the series. My co-writer and co-producer on this, Francis Menotti is actually George R.R. Martin’s Favorite Magician.

This is the second year in a row that Martin has had Francis come out to the Jean Cocteau theater in New Mexico, to perform.

How true to the plot lines and characters is the performance It’s pretty true. It’s a parody for sure. I think everyone did a really good job at picking a character and making themselves their own version of that parody. Flirt Vonnegut as Joffrey and Francis is Littlefinger so the magician is Littlefinger, which is kind of perfect.

And I get to be Cersei, which I bought a long blond wig for. We have lots of great costumes. My day job is in costume design and it’s totally consuming. So it’s crazy.

Are you a big GoT fan yourself?

I am. I love the costuming. I thought it would be a really fun parody show to do because all these characters, well a lot of them, maybe not all of them, but so many are so over-the-top horrible. And I feel like it’s going to be exciting. It’s a burlesque play because there’s a script to it, there’s a story to it of Joffrey getting ready for his coronation and Cersei and Littlefinger are trying to help him take the throne.

When I first saw your flyer, I was surprised to see a Game of Thrones burlesque. Sort of that ‘oh wow’ moment. But it seems to make perfect sense in another way.

Yeah, I agree. Game of Thrones is obviously about sex and violence and I feel like as far as pop culture goes these things are exciting.

Game of Thrones is a pretty well written, well-shot show. Obviously our production value is not the same level, but I think people already know they like it. Also it seems like Game of Thrones has a broader fan-base and will reach more nerds that maybe have never been to a burlesque show before. The show has all happened by word-of-mouth, we didn’t even print postcards. My friend Sharp Roberts who also produced the show was like ‘If you’re going to do a Game of Thrones show, I’m going to commission you to make me a ridiculous Tyrion Lannister costume.’ So I got this really wild looking sequin that almost looked like leather scale...

And why did you choose Cersei?

Everyone I tell about playing Cersei says the same thing to me, “Oh my god, I love and hate Cersei.” And I picked her for that reason, I think playing characters you love to hate is really fun. She doesn’t like anyone, she’s awful.

What do you have your sights set on next in pop culture?

We’re going to do a GhostBusters show and I have a friend who writes for South Park and he’s a freaking huge fan of Police Academy and he said you gotta do a Police Academy show. So we got a lot of response to that, so we’ll be doing that. And then a Labyrinth show in October and I’m also doing an original video-game show. n

14 | Philly Weekly | April 14 - 20, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

By JACQUELINE RUPP

Rocky’s Got Nothing on You. 2016 TOUGH MUDDER PHILLY • MAY 21 & 22, 2016 387 GREEN VALLEY ROAD • COATESVILLE , PA

TEAM UP AT TOUGHMUDDER.COM

GET 20% OFF* WITH CODE: PHILLY *LIMITED AVAILABILITY phillyweekly.com | April 14 - 20, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 15

SHOW US YOUR BEST ORANGE & BLACK

STAGE

|

by A.D. AMOROSI @ADAmorosi

We want to share Philly’s Bully Spirit Celebrate the playoffs by sending us your best photos in your Flyers gear.

We’ll post them to our Facebook page.

The most creative pictures will win Philly Phaithful’s wildly popular Ghost Bear tee and a gift card to Dock Street Brewery. Visit phillyweekly.com/contests to share your pics!

Photo by Ricky Paul

What a Dump T

Ricky Paul's Dumpsta Players bid a fond farewell to Bob & Barbara's after 20 years. wenty-years-ago, Ricky Paul was a young man with a dream: an actor, AIDS activist and record-spinner who wanted to eschew the occasional self-seriousness of Philly’s stage and DJ scenes and circumvent the then-burgeoning Fringe Festival with his (and partner John Donges’) brand of kitsch, queer-centric, corny socio-sexual theater. Paul started (as DJ K-Tel) spinning new wave at Bob and Barbara’s in 1996, got himself involved in PCAC (which became PhillyCAM, the local lion of public access television), and brought his freak friends, drag queens, actors, activists and everything in-between (“including my mom”) to B&B’s for his first self-staged event in 1997.

Dumpsta Players’ first “PromTrash” of April 1997 wouldn’t be his last big show there—instead, making an imprint on all those who passed through Paul’s once-a-month campy carnival. And now, 20 years later, the Wednesday event closes out its two-decade run with a monster celebration.

“The big idea was to bring some fun back to club life,” says Paul. “Being silly is really better in the end, better than all the shitty AIDS funerals we went to in the ‘80s and ‘90s. We were also about mixing queers with straight people—as well as actors, students, lawyers, rich kids and homeless—and Bob & Barbara’s offered the perfect venue. It was dirty and gritty and you could always find a parking spot on South Street.” It was the sum of Dumpsta’s parts that made them fascinating from the start; a mix of Charles Ludlum, John Waters and shock humor, while never shying from vaudeville, slapstick and burlesque to make an artistic point. “Taking something and turning it on its ass and exposing it; that’s what we did so well. What if straight people were born into a queer world? What might that look like?”

When I recall Dumpsta Players early events being punk rock as well as an oddly goofy compliment to what was going on in the Fringe/Big Mess world, Paul agrees, but states that reaction to his scene was not warm and fuzzy even if the people who joined the team were quick to fall into Paul’s extended family. “I remember one rainy June night, a buxom black woman came into B&B’s and asked if she could be in the show. Only if she would grab her boobs and shake them at the rest of us. She did and performed with us for seven years. Like that queen says in Paris Is Burning, ‘It do take nerve.’”

That nerve is what made certain participants once untrained in the skill of acting blossom with Paul’s push. Knowing a

16 | Philly Weekly | April 14 - 20, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

strong performer within five minutes of meeting them, working with people’s limitations, Paul turned writing and choreography into a collaborative skill set. “I always tried to allow them to explore the potential that was already inside,” says Paul.

While he pushed his cast, Paul also pushed himself to create DP Arts Consortium for non-profit status; a natural move with the purpose of raising money for other non-profits and advocating gender and queer performances in their communities.

Asked to recall a lousy Dumpsta event in their 20 year span, Paul choses “Beware the Brides of March” from March, 2000. “I had just had my tonsils out and it didn’t help that the leads “marrying” onstage actually broke up in real life the week before the show.” As for his favorite, he choses “Fatal Seduction” with Sara Sherr as Mrs. Miller (from Merv Griffin’s show) acting “completely faghag obsessed with Butch Cordora,” of “In Bed With Butch” fame. He actually agreed to act in the show and play along with our sick little tale of media domination and homophobia when tax evading baroness, Leona Helmsley, buys up the TV station and replaces Butch’s show with Dr. Laura.”

Good times aside, Paul—at age 50—is not the club kid he used to be, and has decided to focus on less and create more specifically. So the Dumpsta’s stage gig will end with a bang on April 20, but the show will go on at PhillyCAM facilities and its own psychic TV channel there, Sundays at 11 p.m. and Tuesdays at midnight on Comcast 66 and Verizon 29/30, where they’ve been on the air since 2009. “We just finished an in-studio shoot doing spoofs of old Philly commercials like Krass Brothers and we will continue to mine the cheesy goodness of all that is this city. I’m really looking forward to getting that green screen going in the studio.”

While Paul hopes that he doesn’t drop dead during the last event, and that the last PromTrash competition will feature former winners competing again (“at least the ones still alive”), there’s one thing about his work as the dad of the Dumpsta Players I always wanted to know: how is it that he never stops smiling? “A long time ago, I realized that no one wants to hear you bitch. I’ve got plenty of anger and angst and it comes through in our performances which, I feel, are so successful, so, hence, the smiling.” n Wed., April 20, 10pm. Bob & Barbara’s, 1509 South St. dumpstaplayers.org

Lisa Fischer & Grand Baton Apr 23 at 8 PM

Juan de Marcos & The Afro-Cuban All Stars MAY 7 at 8 PM Get tickets today!

AnnenbergCenter.org // 215.898.3900

3680 Walnut Street

We Accept credit cArds

phillyweekly.com | April 14 - 20, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 17

TIMAREE’S BODY “The premier must-attend event of the season!”

by Timaree Schmit @timaree_leigh

Great Explorations

I Join us for an intimate evening celebrating the latest creations of local costume, movement & design artists in preview of Summer 2016 Fashion.

SUNDAY, MAY 1ST VentureF0rth Studios 417 N 8th St, Philadelphia, PA Doors 5:30PM | Floor 6PM Show 6:30PM

$10 OFF ONLINE TICKET PURCHASES BEFORE APRIL 15TH

For more info, visit spinco.org

18 | Philly Weekly | April 14 - 20, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

laid in a bikini on a majestic white beach in the stunning Phi Phi islands of Thailand, soaking in the sun. Nearby, my friend sorted through seashells, tourists waded into the clear waters, and one longboat blasted Kesha. There’s only one way to describe the sensation I felt in that moment: the need to vomit.

Hefting myself upright, I trudged over the sand to the tree line. There I revisited the green curry and boiled rice from lunch onto a pile of crunchy tropical leaves. If you’re going to have food poisoning, it might as well be in the most beautiful place on the planet.

This partially describes my outlook on life. Shit simply is going to happen.

No matter how well you plan: there will be sadness, inconvenience and pain. We might as well have a great story to accompany the scars. This is my call for living a life of risk and discomfort.

I’m not suggesting running through a field of knives coated in poison—not that that is a thing—but to look for everyday opportunities to be badass. You can jump out of perfectly good planes, travel to exotic locales, or simply work up the courage to talk to that sexy human picking out almond milk at the grocery store who probably is already dating someone. But considering Donald Trump is a leading candidate for President and it was 60 degrees in Philly during January: anything is possible.

But back to puking in Thailand. Before leaving on the trip, I prepared as thoroughly as I could. I bought a new backpack and electronic converter, got a typhoid vaccine, packed for nearly every weather possibility. My traveling companions and I poured over online reviews.

Some of that planning made our trip infinitely smoother. But some of it was irrelevant. Reading reviews didn’t emotionally prepare us for the overnight train ride where a roach scuttled across my bed and the toilet was just a hole in the floor. Wise packing does nothing when my boat captain decides he and I are on a date and presents me, a vegetarian, with a giant bowl of stir fried duck and a kiss on the cheek. Though I’d memorized a few Thai phrases, I never anticipated the need to say “Is molly normally this color?

I’ve never done it before.”

We followed through on our plan to check out some temples in Chang Mai, to go to the night markets and eat copious amounts of street food. I did not, however, anticipate the more memorable parts of the trip: finagling my way onto the stage of a Bangkok nightclub, watching a Muy Thai fighter get a neck tattoo, or throwing up all over the scenic bay that

served as the set for the 2000 Leonardo DiCaprio film The Beach.

No, those things only happened because we took chances. Because we danced with wild abandon in the crowd, wandered down sketchy side streets and—in the case of the food poisoning— dared to eat in an actual indoor restaurant. Lesson learned: stick to dining on fried things on sticks.

But the other lesson is that every time we stepped out of our comfort zone and off the path of the travel guides, way more interesting things happened. It doesn’t have to mean breaking laws or risking our lives; just not being afraid to look like idiot tourists or getting a little lost.

We took a random hike in no particular direction one afternoon and found a cool coffee shop with tables and chairs set in a shallow river, verdant rice paddies and an abandoned temple at the top of a hill. That afternoon is substantially more memorable than any episode of TV I could have stayed home and watched.

In this city, we might need an extra reminder to take more calculated risks.

I love Philly and the fact there are literally too many options for cool things to do. It’s easy to get caught in a pattern of only going to the same neighborhoods and talking to the same awesome people.

And given our hamlet’s charming “gritty” personality, it can feel like we’re dealing with enough unpredictable nonsense to willingly beckon more.

We booed a dragon, y’all. We don’t exactly have to go looking for trouble.

But life is built on the random side trips, the spontaneous “yes,” and the daring hazard that things might get weird. Best case scenario: you find something magical that feels better than love itself. Worst case scenario: you have a cool story—like the time I threw up on a Thai beach. n

3 Course Lunch & Dinner Special Available BYOB • Take Out • Delivery • Catering

123 S. 23rd St. • (23rd & Sansom St.) 215-567-2542 • www.erawanphilly.com Follow us on Facebook for new promotions & discounts

Sitar

Enjoy 10% Off

INDIA

Lunch & Dinner Buffet

10% Off Buffet Expires 5/1/16 Not valid with any other discount

Located at 38th & Chestnut

60 S. 38TH ST • 215-662-0818

Dine-in only. Valid through 5/11/16

Open 6 days a week • Closed Tuesday • Free Delivery

$

5

OFF

OF ADMISSION

MMXVI

www.PhillyRenFaire.com

dog training tip #4 Call f s or Entrie

FLASH FICTION Each month, PW will spotlight a work of short fiction submitted by readers. PW will present a different theme/prompt every month, so be sure to check back for future month’s instructions.

With this being the inaugural call for entries, we couldn’t resist the obvious thematic choice:

PHILADELPHIA Send your original piece of fiction that incorporates this theme (max. 1500 words) to fiction@phillyweekly.com. One submission will be chosen to run in May and the author will receive a brief blurb and 50 bucks. Deadline for this round is 04.30.16

Deadline 04.30.16

LOOSE LEASH WALKING Spring days should be spent enjoying walks with your pup. Teach your dog to walk next to you by offering a tasty treat when they are at your side.

Give them a reason to want to be there!

Want more leash training?

Join our 3-week Loose Leash Walking Workshop starting April 9th. Call for details! agility • obedience • puppy therapy dog • tricks fitness & socialization treats & chews • toys & puzzles • training gear

save 25% on your first purchase use promo code philLyweekly 180 West Girard Ave • (267) 825-7375 zoomroom.me/phillYweekly phillyweekly.com | April 14 - 20, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 19

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage | Twitter: @FakeDanSavage

Sweat

I

’m a 49-year-old gay man. I’ve become friends with a 21-year-old straight guy. He’s really hot. He’s had to drop out of college and return home. I know he needs money, as he hasn’t found a job yet and has resorted to selling off old music equipment. I would love to have some sweaty clothes of his, namely his underwear, but I’d settle for a sweaty tank top.

Is it legal to buy someone’s underwear?

He’s a sweet guy, and I don’t want to freak him out by asking something so personal.

How do I broach the subject? —Lustfully Obsessed Stink Seeker

REAL PEOPLE, REAL DESIRE, REAL FUN.

Try FREE: 267-515-5709 More Local Numbers: 1-800-926-6000

Ahora español Livelinks.com 18+

It’s perfectly legal to buy and sell used underwear, LOSS, so there’s no legal risk. But you risk losing this guy as a friend if you broach the subject. You can approach it indirectly by saying something like “So sorry to hear you’re selling off your music equipment. You’re young and hot—you could probably make more money selling used underwear or sweaty tanks.” Then follow his lead: If he’s disgusted by the suggestion, drop it. If he’s into the idea, offer to be his first customer.

I’m a 52-year-old straight guy from Australia, 29 years married. About eight years ago, I met a lady through work and we became friends, with our friendship continuing after she moved on to a different job. We meet up for coffee occasionally, and we share a love of cycling and kayaking, which we also do together on occasion. Both of us are in long-term, committed monogamous relationships.

Our friendship is strictly platonic, sharing our love of riding and paddling. Neither of our partners shares our interest in these outdoor pursuits. My friend does not feel safe doing these activities alone, so often depends on my company for safety as well. The problem is that my wife gets jealous of the time we spend together and wants me to cut off contact with my friend. My wife does not trust my friend not to “take advantage” of our friendship. My relationship with my wife is the most important one in my life, so I am prepared to say good-bye to my friend.

How do I say good-bye in a respectful, caring, and loving way? If she asks why we cannot be friends, I don’t want to tell her, “Because my wife doesn’t trust you not to try to get inside my pants (or cycling shorts),” as that would be hurtful.

I don’t want to lie, but telling the truth would be damaging to my friend. —Paddling And Riding Terminates

20 | Philly Weekly | April 14 - 20, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Your friend is going to waste a lot of time wondering what she did wrong, PART, if you don’t tell her the real reason you can’t hang out with her anymore. And guess what? This not knowing will cause her more hurt than the truth could. So tell your friend the real reason she’s out of your life: You’re terminating your friendship because your wife is an insecure bag of slop who regards her as a threat. Your friend has a right to know she’s as blameless as you are spineless.

Forgive me for being harsh, PART, but I think standing up to your wife, not dropping your friend, is the best approach to this situation.

Before I got married, I asked husband repeatedly about fantasies and kinks, so that we had full disclosure going in. It led to some fun stuff in the bedroom, but we’re both pretty low-grade kinksters.

Now I realize that I do something that I have never told him about: It’s the way that I masturbate. I started when I was 5 or 6, because it felt good. Got chided by parents and teachers for doing it in public and learned to keep it hidden. And so ever since, it’s been my secret thing.

I think it has helped me orgasm in that I knew how early on, but it has also made it more difficult to come in positions that don’t mimic the masturbating position.

Husband likes the idea of me coming in different positions, and I’ve managed now and again, but he doesn’t know why I’m set in my ways. We’ve been together for 10 years, but I have never shared this. Should I tell him? Part of me is afraid that he will think I’m weird. But more than likely, he’ll just want to watch me do it.

Still, it’s kind of nice having this one thing that belongs only to me. —Secret Masturbator Obligated Over Spanking Hotness?

You could hold this back, SMOOSH, and keep it all for yourself. But I don’t see why you would want to. As sexy secrets go, “There’s one particular position I like to masturbate in” is pretty boring.

Unless you need to be positioned on top of a cadaver or under your dad or beside a life-size Ted Cruz sex doll to get off when you masturbate, there’s really no reason to keep this secret. n

There’s more Savage Love!

Read more at ph.ly/savage Ask a question: mail@savagelove.net

Call f s or Entrie

FLASH FICTION Each month, PW will spotlight a work of short fiction submitted by readers. PW will present a different theme/prompt every month, so be sure to check back for future month’s instructions.

With this being the inaugural call for entries, we couldn’t resist the obvious thematic choice:

PHILADELPHIA Send your original piece of fiction that incorporates this theme (max. 1500 words) to fiction@phillyweekly.com. One submission will be chosen to run in May and the author will receive a brief blurb and 50 bucks. Deadline for this round is 04.30.16

Deadline 04.30.16

SuperStrongWindow.com 5/31/16

2016

2016 phillyweekly.com | April 14 - 20, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 21

PW PW R RE EA AL L

E ES ST TA AT TE E

PW REAL PW REAL ESTATE ESTATE THE LATEST IN SALES &

THINKING OF SELLING? CALL 215.778.0901 THINKING OF BUYING? CALL 215.440.8345

RENTALS IN PHILADELPHIA THE LATEST IN SALES & RENTALS IN PHILADELPHIA phillyweekly.com phillyweekly.com

For more information contact: RealEstate@phillyweekly.com

For more information contact: RealEstate@phillyweekly.com

You can either

go to your

room or...

NORTHERN LIBERTIES

Go Solo.

If those big-time real estate agents are treating you like a child, just run away.

Solo Real Estate helps empty nesters find new homes every day.

So, during your next time out, give us grown ups a call.

SOLO REAL ESTATE, INC. 2017 CHANCELLOR STREET PHILADELPHIA, PA 19103 TELEPHONE 215.564.7656 FACSIMILE 215.564.7893 SOLOREALTY.COM 22 | Philly Weekly | April 14 - 20, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

$895,000

The highest quality of design and detail by experienced developers nestled in a secluded location providing an unparalleled living experience. This 3BD/3.5BA brand new construction home features all the amenities a buyer could desire… finished basement, 3 outdoor spaces, 1-car garage, Anderson windows and 3/4” solid hand-scraped birch hardwood floors throughout. You will love unparalleled, contemporary living in this prime Northern Liberties location.

SOCIETY HILL

Set back from the road amidst 1.32 acres of impeccably landscaped land, this handsome and sophisticated 2 story stone home features 5BD/3.2BA, 4+ car parking, wood flooring, brilliant natural light, private outdoor spaces, updated kitchen with charming breakfast area, 2 story family room and more. Next you’ll find the light filled, two story family room, featuring a wood burning fireplace, built-in cabinetry and shelving and a door opening to a covered patio and walkway to the garage. Come to our Open House Sun. 4/17 from 1-3pm.

$425,000

FEATURED OPEN HOUSES: APRiL 16TH

856 S Front St Queen Village $599,000

$1,050,000

FILTER SQUARE

PW REAL ESTATE 74 E Laurel St Northern Liberties $560,000

WALLINGFORD HILL

$2,500,000

Luxury never before offered in Center City PhilaFitler Square gem at 24th & Manning, one block delphia. Introducing, Adagio. 5200 square foot from Schuylkill River Park, dog park, playground, New Construction homes at the City’s most community gardens and Boardwalk and two prominent location. Up to 6,175 SF of total usblocks to Fitler Square! Total delightfully renovatable space, with a 2-car garage ,6 stop residential ed 3 story brick front home with windows on three elevator, Roof Deck with PLUNGE POOL, OUTDOOR sides. 2 bedrooms (one is open), 2 full baths, KITCHEN, and a 300 sq’ pilot house suite with wet each on their own floor with walk-in closets. bar, half bath, and elevator access to roof deck!!

Straight stairs, hardwood floors, transom above 5BD, 1 office, 5 full baths and 2 half bathrooms. front door. Open first floor plan with living room Finished basement with media room. Live the ultiand updated kitchen featuring all stainless steel mate granite 12:00 tourban 1:00 lifestyle at Adagio.

946 N. 2nd Street, appliances Units 2-5 and generous 337 S 12th St counter space.

1504 S 5th St Pennsport $425,000

OLD CITY 702 S 2nd St

Northern Liberties From $369,000

Washington Square $324,900

210 Locust Street, Unit 18H Society Hill $279,000

856 S Front St Queen Village $599,000

801 S 7TH ST BELLA VISTA $759,900

811 Addison St “B” Washington Square $499,900

12:00 to 2:30

745 S Randolph St - aka 746-

48 E Passyunk Ave $975,000 WASHINGTON SQ WEST $1,595,000 246 Fitzwater Street - PentQueen Village

Prepare to swoon$229,900 at this unbelievable 4 bedroom, Two Village handsome brick front historic Queen househomes 4.2 bath home on one of Philadelphia’s premier combined into one to create a Queen one-of-a-kind, $829,900 Village blocks. The first floor offers an open flow be3BD/2.5BA home (23’x33). Step up into Kitch$1,000,000 S 3rd living St room and the tween the library,755 expansive 755en/dining S 3rd Starea with soaring ceilings, slate floor, sun room, plus a Queen charmingVillage slate garden. Prepare powder room.

On the second fl oor you’ll fi nd the Queen Village 512 Catharine Street $399,000 meals in the spacious granite and stainless steel large living room spanning the entire width of the $399,000 Queen Village kitchen. More features include spacious bedrooms, contemporary bathrooms, house (23 feet) with wide plank hard wood fl oors $679,900 2:30 to 4:00 lower level den/ au-pair suite and 1 year prepaid parking. Don’t exposed brick and#712 floating staircases up to 717and S Columbus Blvd miss your chance902-04 to enjoy MONTROSE this magnificentST home! the master bedroom suite and magazine Dockside 1:00 toquality 2:00 Open House Sat. 4/16 from 1-2pm and Sun. bathroom. This home is unbelievable! Come to $259,000 BELLA VISTA 4/17 from 1:30-3pm. our Open House Sun. 4/17 from 2-4pm.

537 PINE ST $599,000 717 S Columbus Blvd #507 SOCIETY HILL Dockside $1,199,000 3:00 to 4:00 $469,000 1:30 to 2:30 811 Addison Street “B” 219 Montrose St Washington Square Queen Village 702 S 2rd St $499,900 $369,000 Queen Village $829,900 12:00 to 2:00

PW R E A L

E S TAT E

246 Fitzwater Street incredible PenthouSe 210 SPRUCE STREET Queen Village - 1st Time Open, SOCIETY HILL Sunday, April 17th • 12:00 to 2:30

PW REAL ESTATE

FEATURED OPEN HOUSES: APRiL 16TH 12:00 to 1:00 74 E Laurel St Northern Liberties $560,000 856 S Front St Queen Village $599,000 1504 S 5th St Pennsport $425,000 702 S 2nd St Queen Village $829,900 755 S 3rd St Queen Village $399,000 717 S Columbus Blvd #712 Dockside $259,000 717 S Columbus Blvd #507 Dockside $469,000 219 Montrose St Queen Village $369,000 12:00 to 2:00

946 N. 2nd Street, Units 2-5 Northern Liberties From $369,000

337 S 12th St Washington Square $324,900

210 Locust Street, Unit 18H Society Hill $279,000

856 S Front St Queen Village $599,000

801 S 7TH ST BELLA VISTA $759,900

811 Addison St “B” Washington Square $499,900

12:00 to 2:30

745 S Randolph St - aka 74648 E Passyunk Ave Queen Village $229,900

246 Fitzwater Street - Penthouse Queen Village $1,000,000 512 Catharine Street Queen Village $679,900 1:00 to 2:00 537 PINE ST SOCIETY HILL $1,199,000 1:30 to 2:30 702 S 2rd St Queen Village $829,900

Watch the fireworks and enjoy amazing unobstructed views of the Ben Franklin Bridge and city skyline from this corner bi-level penthouse loft with 2584 square feet of flexible space! This completely open loft-style floor plan with 13 foot ceilings and ten 5’ x 10’ windows features unique architectural details throughout. Both levels feature custom contemporary wood and stainless steel walls throughout accented

by European lighting systems. This one of a kindwith New York style penthouse loft features: A soaring Circa 1830.

A large corner property attached parking and 21’ open atrium, Ceiling speakers throughout, 2 zone air conditioning system, European lighting throughout both floors, original a lovely, large English withincluding fountain 77 feetBosch deep, 3 and hardwood floors.

The main floor also includes LuxuryGarden Kitchen appliances Subzero-refrigerator, dishwasher Franke professional faucet.

Custom designed contemporary bathroom with European faucetry and one of a kind stainless bedrooms + a huge family room, 2.5 beautiful baths, 5 fireplacessteel vanity and absolute black granite walls and floor. The upper floor is an open floor plan perfect for working, relaxing and sleeping. and wood flfull oors.

A True Restored The upper floor restored also features Contemporary bath, Four skylightsPeriod and custom Perfect porthole windows, Laundry andProperty, 4 large closets.

This perfect entertaining space also includes extra storage space, gated, secure parking, elevator and easy access to I95 or 676. Walk Pristine Condition. everywhere from this exquisite loft: to the gym, trains, Italian Market, shopping, restaurants.

A True Jewel!

755 S 3rd St Queen Village $399,000 2:30 to 4:00 902-04 MONTROSE ST BELLA VISTA $599,000

$1,199,000 $1,000,000

3:00 to 4:00 811 Addison Street “B” Washington Square $499,900

Conway Kathy Conway Patrick Conway Patrick Conway Kathy

215-440-8190 215-266-1537215-850-3842 215-266-1537 Society Hill Offi•ce • 215.627.6005 • Please visit onlineat atwww.conwayteam.com www.conwayteam.com Society Hill Office 215.627.6005 • Please visit ususonline

NEW LISTINGS OPEN SUNDAY 12-2 946 N. 2ND STREET, UNITS 2-5 4 Spacious new construction condos featuring large windows, high ceilings and outdoor spaces. Tax abatement has been applied for From $369,000

NEW LISTING OPEN SUNDAY 12-2 210 LOCUST STREET, UNIT 23A Spectacular views from this 2 bedroom corner condominium, featuring floor to ceiling windows, hardwood floors, a fitness center and a swimming pool $460,000

NEW PRICE FISHTOWN Spacious 3 story townhouse with original details and modern conveniences. 4 Bedrooms, 2 Baths

OPEN SUNDAY 12-2 210 LOCUST STREET, UNIT 18H Beautifully renovated 1 bedroom condo with floor to ceiling windows, a large kitchen and new hardwood floors

$279,900

$279,000 NEW LISTING FISHTOWN Exquisite 3 bedroom new construction home with gorgeous exotic hardwood floors in a loft-like floor plan and a rooftop terrace with panoramic cityscape views

NEW PRICE ART MUSEUM AREA Beautiful 3 story townhouse with hardwood floors, a spacious modern kitchen and an energy efficient heating system $264,900

$469,000

First Choice Loan Services Inc. (NMLS# 210764) a wholly owned subsidiary of First Choice

START YOUR HOME OWNERSHIP (NMLS# 177877) JOURNEY is located at 729TODAY. Grove Ave, Suite 7, Southampton, PA 18966.

START JOURNEY YOUR TODAY. HOMEBank OWNERSHIP

First Choice Loan Services Inc. is registered or exempt from state licensing in the states it originates mortgage loans. Licensed by the NJ Department of Banking and Insurance. AZ BK# 0918586. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is not an agency of the federal government and is INCLUDE: not affiliatedwith your current lender. All loans are subject to credit approval. Programs, rates, • VA • USDA PROGRAMS • Jumbo • 203K FHA MORTGAGE & Streamline • Renovation & more! terms and conditions are current, but are subject to change and may expire without notice.

• Renovation FHA • VA • USDA • Jumbo • 203K & Streamline & more!

Other restrictions may apply. All applications must be submitted in writing. This advertisement Matthew Lynch Senior Mortgage Loan Originator - NMLS# 785395 is not a loan disclosure and all disclosures provided after applying should be reviewed carefully.

This is not a commitment to provide a loan approval or a specific interest rate. 03.11.2016 www.fcloans.com/mlynch Contact me today! 610.209.5970 • mlynch@fcbmtg.com • www.fcbhomeloans.com/mlynch MORTGAGE PROGRAMS INCLUDE:

Matthew Lynch

Senior Mortgage Loan Originator - NMLS# 785395

First Choice Loan Services Inc. (NMLS# 210764) a wholly owned subsidiary of First Choice Bank (NMLS# 177877) is located at 729 Grove Ave, Suite 7, Southampton, PA 18966. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is registered or exempt from state licensing in the states it originates mortgage loans. Licensed by the NJ Department of Banking and Insurance. AZ BK# 0918586. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is not an agency of the federal government and is not affiliated with your current lender. All loans are subject to credit approval. Programs, rates, terms and conditions are current, but are subject to change and may expire without notice. Other restrictions may apply. All applications must be submitted in writing. This advertisement is not a loan disclosure and all disclosures provided after applying should be reviewed carefully. This is not a commitment to provide a loan approval or a specific interest rate. 03.11.2016

Contact me today! 610.209.5970 • mlynch@fcbmtg.com • www.fcbhomeloans.com/mlynch

phillyweekly.com | April 14 - 20, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 23

First Choice Loan Services Inc. (NMLS# 210764) a wholly owned subsidiary of First Choice Bank (NMLS# 177877) is located at 729 Grove Ave, Suite 7, Southampton, PA 18966. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is registered or exempt from state licensing in the states it originates mortgage loans. Licensed by the NJ Department of Banking and Insurance. AZ BK# 0918586. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is not an agency of the federal government and is not affiliated with your current lender. All loans are subject to credit approval. Programs, rates, terms and conditions are current, but are subject to change and may expire without notice. Other restrictions may apply. All applications must be submitted in writing. This advertisement is not a loan disclosure and all disclosures provided after applying should be reviewed carefully. This is not a commitment to provide a loan approval or a specific interest rate. 03.11.2016

PW R E A L

E S TAT E

The Damon Michels Team 610.668.3400

512 Catharine Street Queen Village

“Specializing in MainLine & Center City” Damon Michels Damon@DamonMichels.com 160 Homes www.DamonMichels.com Sold in 2015

SHEFFIELD COURT

The William Penn House - Center City Living!

OLD 50% S 4 New construction Carriage homes starting at $599,000 4 beds/3.1 baths; 2 car garage; Open Floor plan with 2600+ Sq ft

MAIN LINE SUBURBS NEW LISTINGS 807 Bowman Ave, Wynnewood 4 Bed/3.1 Bath; 3092 sq ft Colonial $675,000 19 Rock Hill Rd #4F, Bala Cynwyd 2 Bed/2 Bath; 1216 sq ft Unit $199,000 1001 City Ave EC801, Wynnewood 1 Bed/ 1 Bath; 910 sq ft Unit $79,000 33 Aberdale Road, Bala Cynwyd 5 Bed/3.1 Bath; 2816 sq ft Colonial $625,000

First Time Open House Sunday, April 17Th 12:00 To 2:30

CENTER CITY PHILA.

Rittenhouse Square • Rooftop Pool • Fitness Center• Valet Parking • 24 Hr Security 24 Hr Maintenance Studios $130,000 to $160,000 1 Bedrooms $250,000 to $300,000 2 Bedrooms $300,000 to $450,000 3 Bedrooms $400,000 to $550,000 Includes real estate tax • No transfer tax

2012 Spruce Street, Rittenhouse Square 5 Bed/5 Bath; 7155 sq ft Townhome $3,690,000

Foster Wilson Design! Beautiful Restored Traditional Home - A True Classic. Great Attention to Detail and Design Two Bedrooms + Den or Three Full Bedrooms, Two baths, Fireplace, Handsome Finished Pine Floors, Plenty of Closets and Storage Space and Abundant Natural Light throughout. Full Finished Basement and Lovely Side & Rear Garden.

941 Bryn Mawr Avenue, Penn Valley JUST LISTED 6 Bed/5.1 Bath, 8231 sq ft Normandy $1,355,000 1728 Wallace St #102, Art Museum 4812 Church Road, Doylestown 2 Bed/2 Bath; 1305 sq ft Townhouse $300,000 6 Bed/5 Bath; 6443 sq ft Colonial $1,675,000 1600 Hagys Ford 2J, Penn Valley 1221 S Juniper St, Passyunk Sq 3 Bed/1 Bath; 1170 sq ft End Unit Row $349,900 2 Bed/1.1 Bath; 965 sq ft Condo $129,000 191 Presidential Blvd, Bala Cynwyd JUST REDUCED R903: 1 Bed/1 Bath; 971 sq ft Condo $123,900 303-5 S 11th Street, Washington Sq West 1150 Grandview Ter, Wayne Unit 2: 1 Bed/1 Bath; 772 sq ft Condo $225,000 R901: 1 Bed/1 Bath; 943 sq ft Condo $150,000 4 Bed/3.1 Bath; 4249 sq ft Townhouse 824-25: 2 Bed/2 Bath; 2100 sq ft Condo $499,000 Unit 10: 1 Bed/1 Bath; 868 sq ft Condo $200,000 $899,000 Unit 5: 2 Bed/1 Bath; 736 sq ft Condo $285,000 7001 Wayne Avenue, Upper Darby 306 Clwyd Road, Bala Cynwyd 1112 Spruce Street #5, Washington Square 6 Bed/2.1 Bath; 2845 sq ft Colonial $200,000 5 Bed/2.3 Bath; 5420 sq ft Ranch $800,000 3 Bed/2.1 Bath; 1,786 sq ft Townhouse 8323 Twitchell Road, Elkins Park JUST REDUCED $630,000 3 Bed/2 Bath; 1553 sq ft Cape $169,999 220 Twinings Lane, Wayne 1811-19 Chestnut St #104, Rittenhouse Sq 141 Overbrook Pkwy, Wynnewood 5 Bed/ 4.2 Bath; 5,646 sq ft Colonial $1,325,000 544 sq ft Studio $194,000 4 Bed/3.1 Bath; 3120 sq ft Colonial $499,000 200 Walnut Avenue, Wayne 3600 Conshohocken Avenue, River Park 6 Bed/3 Bath Victorian w/Guest House 1224 Lafayette Road, Gladwyne Unit 2009: 1 Bed/1 Bath; 815 sq ft Condo $59,000 $1,249,000 5 Bed/2.1 Bath; 3100 sq ft Colonial $800,000 1628 Spruce Street #4, 3538 Oriole Dr, Huntingdon Valley 103 W Rock Hill Road, Bala Cynwyd Rittenhouse Square 5 Bed/3.1 Bath; 3543 sq ft Split-Level $449,000 4 Bed/3.1 Bath; 2961 sq ft Split-Level $585,000 2 Bed/1 Bath; 800 sq ft Condo $325,000 377 Maplewood Road, Merion Station 50 Belmont Avenue #410, Bala Cynwyd 3112 Haverford Ave., Powelton Village 4 Bed/3.1 Bath; 2203 sq ft Contemporary 3 Bed/2.1 Bath; 1,971 sq ft Condo $599,000 5Bed/2.1Bath; 1,998 sq ft Townhouse $395,000 $575,000 20 Conshohocken State Road #611, Bala Cynwyd 1919 Walnut Street, Rittenhouse Square 1349 Wooded Way, Bryn Mawr 7,000 sq ft Commercial Space 2 Bed/2 Bath: 1,735 sq ft Unit $239,000 7 Bed/6.2 Bath; 9198 sq ft Colonial $2,950,000 1600 Hagys Ford Road 8G, Penn Valley $1,849,000 1412 South Street, Avenue of the Arts 1 Bed/1 Bath; 766 sq ft Condo $125,000 1089 West Avenue, Springfield Commercial Space $825,000 300 Lawrence Road, Broomall 4 Bed/3 Bath; 2268 sq ft Colonial 2301 Cherry Street 4Q, Logan Square 3 Bed/3 Bath; 2,000 sq ft Ranch $365,000 $345,000 3 Bed/2.1 Bath; 1778 sq ft Condo $425,000 20 W Turnbull Avenue, Havertown 2005 County Line Road, Villanova 2001 Hamilton Street #517, Art Museum 4 Bed/2.1 Bath; 2564 sq ft rehabbed colonial 5 Bed/3.2 Bath; 3476 sq ft Colonial 1 Bed/1 Bath; 674 sq ft Condo $229,900 $649,500 $500,000

PENDING

PENDING

$679,900

PENDING

215-850-3842

For over 90 years the most respected name in Philadelphia Real Estate Center City’s Largest Independent Realtor

1901 DELANCEY PL RITTENHOUSE SQ

739 BAINBRIDGE ST BELLA VISTA STRADA

Stunning museum-like mansion unequalled in Center City, +/-8,806sf, 5br, 4.3b, media room, guest suites, elevator, prime location!

816 S 10TH ST BELLA VISTA

Expansive Modernist “Green” home, +/4,932sf, 3br, 3.5b, solar panel roof, 2 car garage, electric car charging station, courtyard garden, 7 yr tax abatement

$1,600,000 Call Leon Aksman

Sensational European style home (c. 1925), 6br, den, 3 full, 2 half baths, 7 f/p, fabulous new kitchen, 2 car garage, 3 terraces, deck

$1,199,000 Call Franz Rabauer

$1,299,999 Call Jody Volpe

NEW LISTING!

801 S 7TH ST BELLA VISTA OPEN SUNDAY 4/17, 12-2 PM

Beautiful light-filled corner 3br, 2.5b, newer kitchen, custom window treatments, outdoor space, 2 car parking!

$759,999 Call Elizabeth Finn

Search all Properties at: www.PlumerRE.com 24 | Philly Weekly | April 14 - 20, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

100 CHERRY LANE WYNNEWOOD

Fabulous new construction, 4br, 4b, +/-3500sf, gourmet kitchen, Smart House Technology, patio, roof deck, garage, tax abatement, Meredith School district

$4,900,000 Call Bruce Benjamin

NEW LISTING!

& Associates, Inc. Realtors

NEW LISTING!

902-04 MONTROSE ST BELLA VISTA OPEN SUNDAY 4/17, 2:30-4 PM

Unique double-wide 4br, 2.5b, garden, 2 car parking, a real gem!

$599,000 Call Cecile Steinriede

537 PINE ST SOCIETY HILL OPEN SUNDAY 4/17, 1-2 PM

Gorgeous sun-filled historic home, 5br, 3.5b, h/w flrs, 2 fireplaces, remodeled kitchen, courtyard www.537Pine.com

$1,199,000 Call Francisco Carreno 2600 TASKER ST GRAYS FERRY

Former St Aloysius compound. Nearly 3/4 acre site w/ 275 ft of frontage, over 35,000sf of improvements & large parking lot. Perfect for redevelopment www.2600tasker. wordpress.com

$2,650,000 Call Leon Aksman or Jeff Mayer

226 South Street 215 922 4200

PW R E A L

PW REAL ESTATE LISTINGS phillyweekly.com

ESTATE

PW

CLASSIFIED

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

PennSCAN

PennSCAN

LISTINGS NOTICES Legal Notices

For more information contact: RealEstate@ phillyweekly.com

ACCORD INC. filed Articles of Incorporation under the Pennsylvania Business Corporation Law of 1998, as amended, on April 8, 2016.

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

Two Bedrooms for Rent

PennSCAN

SOUTH 22ND ST. CENTER CITY Luxurious/Spacious/Secure 2Bedrm. Ultra modern kitchen with Granite countertops, SS Appliances, Hardwood floors, Central-Air, Washer/Dryer, Visual intercom,Cable/WiFi Ready. Close to transport.and shopping. NO PETS. $2.400/ MO.+Utils. Call 215-755-6900

Adoption: Professional African American couple truly want to adopt.

Great relatives, active lifestyle, huge hearts, adventurous, loving. Confidential, allowed expenses paid. Kecia and Devon. 1-866-932-5603

21XX CHRISTIAN ST 1st. flr.,W/D, A/C, newly renovated. Call 215-378-4126 APARTMENTS – LOFT Old City - 6 S. Front, Lg 2 BR Convertible, Waterfront and BF Bridge Views, c/a, w/d, d/w, g/d. $1,395+/Mo. rcitinar@aol.com or 215-627-4414 FOR RENT Apartments for Rent 2-3 BDR Huge Artist Lofts Art Museum/Temple Area $1,200-1,890+util Broker/Owner (215) 382-0112 x511 2-4 BDR Temple Univ $900-2,400+util Avail Now-Aug Broker/Owner 267-800-9180

APARTMENT Old City - 4 S. Front/4th Fl., Waterfront and BF Bridge Views, 2 BR or 1 BR/Office, 2 BA, c/a, w/d, d/w, $1,495+/Mo. rcitinar@aol.com or 215-627-4414.

Financial – Money to Lend: Get funding now for your small business – up to $2 million in as little as 2 days. Minimum 2 years in business.

Call BFS Capital: 888-7326298 or apply online www. bfscapital.com/nyp Construction Bids/Notices: Construction Bids. **New Dates** Statewide Job Order Contracts (JOC). Prebid meetings for General Construction, Electrical, Plumbing, HVAC. Central Region: April 18, 2016 11AM in the Corporate Board Room, First Floor Arsenal Building, 18th & Herr Streets, Harrisburg, PA. Eastern Region: April 19, 2016 11AM at 555 Union Boulevard, Allentown, PA (parking in the back of the building complex).

Western Region: April 20, 2016 11AM in the UPARC Auditorium, William Pitt Way, Building A6, Pittsburgh, PA.

There is amazing unspoiled land just hours away. Where you’ll be surrounded by natural beauty, clean air and space; not condos, crowds or traffic. Located in Virginia just 3+ hrs from I-95 NJ/ DE line. 23 lots, 3 to 22 acres each, priced $60,000 to $98,000.

All are near the shoreline, some w/ excellent water views. Paved roads, utilities, dock, boat ramp and beach. Low property taxes.

Call (757) 442-2171 or email: oceanlandtrust@yahoo.com

PennSCAN

Long-term use of baby/talcum powder is linked to ovarian cancer. If you or a loved one suffered from ovarian cancer after using Johnson’s Baby Powder, Shower to Shower or other talcum powder, you may be entitled to substantial compensation. Call us at 1-800-THE-EAGLE now. No fees or costs until your case is settled or won. We practice law only in Arizona, but associate with lawyers throughout the U.S.

GOLDBERG & OSBORNE

915 W. Camelback Rd. Phoenix, AZ 85013

1-800-THE-EAGLE (1-800-843-3245)

www.1800theeagle.com

ay 7 Dek n e e Op a W

s

QUICK FUNDING for Small Businesses

Get $5,000 - $2,000,000 in as few as 2 days* MINIMUM 2 YEARS IN BUSINESS TO QUALIFY

APPLY TODAY

(888) 732-6298 bfscapital.com/nyp

*Subject to approval and merchant bank processing.

Help Wanted – Sales: EARN $500 A DAY: Insurance Agents Needed * Leads, No Cold Calls * Commissions Paid Daily * Lifetime Renewals * Complete Training * Health & Dental Insurance * Life License Required. Call 1888-713-6020

Broad & Reed Vicinity 1 lg. BR, w/patio, w/d in bsmt. Help Wanted: $975/mo. water & heat incld. Entry Level Heavy EquipCall Joseph 609-217-1198 ment Operator Career. Get Trained - Get Certified – Get Hired! Bulldozers, Backhoes & Houses for Rent Excavators. Immediate Life11TH & WALNUT STS time Job Placement. VA BeBeautiful 3Brm. house, 2 car nefits. National Average parking. $3200/mo+utils. Call $18.00-$22.00 1-866-362215-718-4932 6497

BABY POWDER OVARIAN CANCER OR OTHER TALCUM POWDER LINKED TO

To place your line ad call: 215-354-3054

FIND US ONLINE!

@ WEEKLY

.COM

PHILLY

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

PennSCAN

PennSCAN

Insurance: PA DRIVERS: AutoInsurance-Help-Line. Helping you find a Car Insurance Payment You can afford. Toll Free 1-800-231-3603 www.Auto-InsuranceHelpline.ORG

Miscellaneous: AIRLINE CAREERS begin here. Get hands on training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial Aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877207-0345

Land for Sale: NATURAL UNSPOILED C OASTAL PR OPER TY – There is a place just hours away where you can find abundant natural beauty, clean air and space. Located in Virginia 90 miles south of Ocean City. Lots are 3 to 22 acres and priced $60,000 to $98,000. All are near the shoreline, some with excellent water views. Amenities include community dock and sandy beach. Low taxes and a mild climate. Call (757)4422171 or email: oceanlandtrust@yahoo.com website: http://waverlylots.com

Miscellaneous: Meet singles right now! No paid operators, just real people like you. Browse greetings, exchange messages and connect live. Try it free.

Call now: 1-877-552-5513 PennSCAN

Vacation Rentals: OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/ partial weeks.

Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Resort Services. 1-800-638-2102.

Online reservations: www.holidayoc.com

To place your line ad call: 215-354-3054 phillyweekly.com | April 14 - 20, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 25

PW C L A S S I F I E D S

PW

CLASSIFIED

LISTINGS

TO PLACE YOUR LINE AD CALL: 215-354-3054

MERCHANDISE FOR SALE

EMPLOYMENT

Wanted to Buy

General Employment

SHOW US YOUR BEST ORANGE & BLACK

Diabetic Test Strips Needed Most brands accepted.Pay up to $40 per box. 610-453-2525 AUTOS FOR SALE

phillyweekly.com

Autos for Sale

MERCEDES BENZ 2009 C350 Black,loaded 8500k, $23,000, 856-466-7214 For more information contact: RealEstate@ phillyweekly.com

To place your

line ad call:

We want to share Philly’s Bully Spirit

215-354-3054

GENERAL SERVICES Moving & Hauling

No Job Too big or Small Lic. & insured

Free estimates!

Trash removal BasemenT CleanouTs DeBris removal esTaTes DemoliTion sCrap meTal Whole house GuTs haulinG

Celebrate the playoffs by sending us your best photos in your Flyers gear.

215-500-3903 philipsmovingandremoval.com

HOME IMPROVEMENT

EMPLOYMENT

EMPLOYMENT

Flooring

Career Training

General Employment

A-Z FLOOR SANDING.COM • STAINING • REPAIRS • INSTALLATIONS SAND & 3 COATS $1.50 SQ. FT.

866-890-9292

Special Rate for Builders, Contractors & Investors All Work Guaranteed

ATTN: TRUCK DRIVERS! WERNER IS HIRING! Team & Solo Drivers Needed. No CDL? We can help! 3 wk training avail.

Call Career Trucker today!

866-494-7434

Lic #41576H

HOME IMPROVEMENT Windows

HAPPY WINDOWS

Shutters, 2-Inch Wood, Pleated Shades, Roman Shades, Drapes, Verticals, Mini-Blinds Discount Price With Installation

Call Eileen

215-465-7525

General Employment

BLOOD DONORS All donors paid $20.

No appointment necessary.

Walk-ins welcome. Must be healthy and have proper i.d.

Must provide Social Security card.Interstate Blood Bank 1250-52 N Broad St. Phila PA 19121 215-765-2554 Hrs. 6:30 am - 3:00 pm.

Bricklayers Exp. req'd. Steady work. Top pay. Health & Benefit plan available. Call 215-219-0333

MERCHANDISE FOR SALE Flea Market

ANTIQUE & VINTAGE MARKET AT HEAD HOUSE SQUARE SAT. APRIL 16TH | 8AM-5PM

ANTIQUE VENDORS FROM THE TRI-STATE AREA WILL 2 CITY BLOCKS ALONG S. 2ND STREET. FROM PINE TO SOUTH STREET AT HEAD HOUSE SQUARE AND THE PLAZA AT HEAD HOUSE (RAIN DATE-SUNDAY) MORE INFO: WWW.PHILAFLEAMARKETS.ORG

LINE

DRIVERS • AIDES • MECHANICS • DRIVERS - FULL & PART TIME

Non-CDL drivers transporting clients • AIDES - Assisting clients on vehicle (Norristown and North Wales only)

• MECHANICS Locations in North Wales, Bristol and Norristown!

Email applications to: jobs@eastoncoach.com or mail to: 1200 Conroy Place, Easton, PA 18040 Attn: HR or fax to 610-252-8667 Call 610-253-4055 x1002 for details Application is available at: www.eastoncoach.com

EOE

EMPLOYMENT

EMPLOYMENT

General Employment

Health Care

Cage Cashier Parx Casino, PA's #1 casino, seeks F/T Cage Cashiers for our overnight shift. Visit www. parxcasino.com/careers to apply.

Need EMT\'s with EVOC Must be a Certified EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) ***Do not apply without

PART TIME SERVICE FULL TIME BENEFITS...

Paid Job Training Monthly Paycheck Money for College Low-Cost Health Insurance Call: MSG Tyrone Mickens 215-880-3409 PA NATIONAL GUARD NATIONALGUARD.com/PA

GENERAL HELP $8.00-$10.00/hr. Plus incentive. Flexible Schedules. Interview Today Start Tomorrow.

215-271-0188.

To place your line ad call: 215-354-3054

26 | Philly Weekly | April 14 - 20, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

• Competitive Wages w/Rate Increases • Free Driver Training • Benefits Including Medical, Dental, Vision, Disability & Life Insurance • 401(K) W/ Match • Paid Holidays/Vacation Time Safe Driving Record & Drug Free Required

* Experience not necessary * Need valid Driver\'s License & EVOC * 215-333-9450

“The premier must-attend event of the season!”

Join us for an intimate evening celebrating the latest creations of local costume, movement & design artists in preview of Summer 2016 Fashion.

SUNDAY, MAY 1ST VentureF0rth Studios 417 N 8th St, Philadelphia, PA Doors 5:30PM Floor 6PM | Show 6:30PM

$10 OFF ONLINE TICKET PURCHASES BEFORE APRIL 15TH

For more info, visit spinco.org

We’ll post them to our Facebook page.

The most creative pictures will win Philly Phaithful’s wildly popular Ghost Bear tee and a gift card to Dock Street Brewery. Visit phillyweekly.com/contests to share your pics!

PLAY APRIL 4 - 23 Earn game cards each day and win free slot play!

Collect all 20 unique game cards to win

$50,000 CASH!

COMING UP AT FRIDAY, APRIL 15 5PM Big Chill 9:30PM Bigg Romeo 10PM DJ Paul Desisto

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20 DRAWINGS 8PM, 9PM & 10PM Receive a FREE ENTRY every time you hit a FLUSH or HIGHER while playing your favorite table games April 14 - 20!

SATURDAY, APRIL 16 4PM Go HAM 9:30PM Fish Out of Water 10PM DJ Eric Vanderslice

SUNDAY, APRIL 17 5PM Real Diamond Tribute Show

FRIDAY, APRIL 22 5PM Stems and Seeds 9:30PM The BSTREETBAND 10PM DJ Eddie Tully

MOTHER’S DAY

TOM JONES TRIBUTE SHOW

SATURDAY, APRIL 23 5PM Waterfall 9:30PM Ollie’s Pool Party 10PM DJ Eric Vanderslice

SUNDAY, MAY 8 • 4PM & 7PM Straight from Vegas for one night only - get your tickets today to see an unforgettable performance featuring the Tom Jones Clone, Harmik!

Visit parxcasino.com/calendar for full schedule.

COMING UP AT THURSDAY, APRIL 21

Visit parxcasino.com/events for details & tickets.

6:30PM Robert Petitti & Mike Goldman

PARXCASINO.COM • *ESTIMATED FREE SLOT PLAY TOTAL (NOT GUARANTEED). REDEEM UP TO 3 GAME CARDS PER DAY 4/4/16 – 4/22/16; REDEEM UP TO 6 GAME CARDS ON 4/24/16.

ONE $50K CASH PRIZE GUARANTEED TO THE FIRST XCLUB MEMBER TO COLLECT ALL 20 CARDS MANAGEMENT RESERVES THE RIGHT TO CHANGE OR CANCEL THESE PROMOTIONS AT ANY TIME. MUST BE PRESENT TO WIN. VISIT XCLUB FOR ADDITIONAL DETAILS, RULES AND REGULATIONS. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1.800.GAMBLER