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FREE | APRIL 4 - 11, 2019

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Jazz will never die in the city that perfected it.

Under ratified contract, SEPTA cops get raise, anonymity and time to get their story straight. | Page: 15-16

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FROM THE EDITOR

Friends with benefits

ver the weekend I caught up so they’ll purchase just one ticket. Really, [it’s as easy as] you just talk to [one of our] full with a friend of mine, Mark, who has worked in ticket season sales [representatives] and they can sales for various sports teams take care of all of that for you.” Maybe I’m naive and this is something throughout the city. For the that everyone knew, but to me, this came as a past couple of years, we roucomplete shock. I’ve always viewed tinely get together, sporting events as a group activity, watch the Phillies on TV, sip some having someone to tailgate with, fist bourbon and shoot the shit. bump when a big play happens, and On Sunday, we watched the new challenge to a hot dog eating contest look Phillies in a weekend sweep of on Dollar Dog Night. Perhaps single the Braves. What should’ve been a seat season ticket holders are purmeaningless April baseball game ists of the sport and would readily was anything but. However, what prefer to see a contest live. we both noticed was just how many But for every one of them, there’s people sat solo in the ballpark. The an equal number that just don’t focus of this particular game soon have anyone to invite. became less the game and more the I’ve lived in Philadelphia all my people who we could find spending life and am well aware of the “no time alone. new friends” vibe we give off. Shit, “Crazy thing is they’re probably you can barely get a smile from season ticket holders too,” he joked. @SPRTSWTR someone while walking down the But it was no laughing matter; acstreet so I can’t even imagine what cording to my buddy, who has sold it’d be like to be a transplant from everything from single-game ticket sales to premium seating, those solo fans like- another city, town or even country and attempt to break through here. ly shelled out big bucks to sit alone. The level of cliquey-ness is just insane. “You don’t know how many calls we get Like New York is a city that never sleeps, from people who buy full season plans for one,” Mark said. “People who literally call up we are a city that never leaves. How many of us have parents living less than an hour away, to make installment plans to reserve one seat. have friends from grade school still in the It’s a thing, man. We get those calls all the neighborhood, or have a weekend duo, trio time.” or foursome that we do everything with – EVI didn’t believe him, so on Monday, I called the Phillies and Eagles ticket offices to in- ERY time we go out? I’m even guilty to some extent. I have three quire. Sure enough, if I wanted to, I could reserve a ticket for one for the season. In the friends I’ve known since high school that I group chat with regularly. Both are from case of the Phillies, the representative I spoke with even offered to pro-rate the three games neighboring high schools not too far from my missed from the home opener into the full sea- own that I only live about 30 minutes away from. son plan just to get me in the building. I was on a Reddit forum from a while back Pretending to be someone who was conand the whole thread was about just how hard cerned by image, I asked the representative if this was a common thing. Though he wasn’t it is to meet people here. Some people withable to provide an exact number of just how in the forum even noted that they had to go above and beyond and change the way they’d many single-seat season plans they have, he normally behave, just to stand out. did confirm my friend’s claim – even adding in But other people made great suggestions a few more tidbits of insight. “Sure, it’s normal; you don’t need to feel like joining sports leagues and meetup groups bad about doing it,” said the Phillies repre- as an easier way to break the ice, but if you’re naturally a shy person then that only becomes sentative. “We get people buying seasons for one all the time. A lot of times, you know it’s a nice thought. So I offer this tiny suggestion. Let’s all do a lot of retired people where it’s just them and our part in meeting some new people, Philly. coming to a game gives them something to do Who knows, you may inspire someone to reand they’ll just buy one ticket. But we do get a lot of calls from people who just love baseball, up their season ticket plan and invite you to a game or two. but can’t find anyone that would go with them

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Readers plan around our calendar each week. Now, they can purchase tickets to those events through us. Philadelphia Tickets, PW’s exclusive ticketing platform, launches April 1! This full-service ticketing platform offers what other providers can’t — promotion in Philadelphia Weekly, in print and online.

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Contact sales lead Rich Dome: rdome@philadelphiaweekly.com

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Closed minded? STATE On Monday, Philly.com reported that District Attorney Larry Krasner sent a letter to a list of city Common Pleas and Municipal Court judges asking them to consider abbreviating the length of time they assign probation terms. As it stands, Pennsylvania, specifically Philadelphia has some of the longest terms being served in the country. However, a source with knowledge of the situation told Philly.com that “Many judges wouldn’t even open the email...they believe Krasner’s missive is ex parte,” which is legal terminology for Krasner being outta pocket for trying to communicate with judges regarding cases. If true, we say that provides pretty good introspective into the minds of city judges and their supreme lack of outside the box thinking.

OF OUR

CITY

Signs, signs everywhere a sign Do you want to get your point across in Philadelphia? Do it with a sign. These two gems were discovered over the weekend and are so fucking Philly we just had to share. While yoga poop pickup is a classic, we also now understand from the other that if you really want to drive home the message, slap a picture of Brian Dawkins on it and LET’S GO.

Wii appreciate you We like to know what you like and who likes us so we tend to live on our analytics. Upon a recent dive, we discovered that one of you enjoys reading PW via a Nintendo Wii console. Who knew Wii was good for more than just blowing your shoulder out playing Wii Sports and virtually driving MarioKart with friends on a Friday night. Whomever you are, a special shoutout to you this week for reading. Correction: On March 28, PW incorrectly cited a quote from Helen Gym to former City Council candidate Tonya Bah.

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Dan McDonough, Jr. Chairman & Publisher Kerith Gabriel Editor in Chief

Andrea Cantor John Montesano Senior Staff Writer Art Director Contributors: A.D. Amorosi, Tom Beck, Jared Brey, Michael Greger, Jamie Giambrone, Courtenay Harris Bond, Jon Hurdle, Resolve Philadelphia, Cal Setar, Dan Savage, Timaree Schmit, Stephen Silver, Steve Teare

To contact the news department: mail@philadelphiaweekly.com.

Ed Lynes Chief Revenue Officer

Stephanie Hawkins Controller

Danielle Kingsbury General Manager

Adrian De Jesus Director, Street Team

Devon Perry Director, Relationships & Engagement

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Jersey overload

STATE OF OUR CITY

Recently, The Guardian ran a piece about the invasion of the Mid-Atlantic blue crab, native to the beaches of New Jersey. The article notes how in just seven years, the crabs have invaded beaches along the Spanish coasts decimating scores of local crab and other fish in the region. The leader of the fisherman’s association told The Guardian that the blue crab “devours everything, and the catch of local crabs and cockles has fallen as a result.” Here, we thought crabs from New Jersey migrated only to Center City bars, down Second Street in Northern Liberties and across the pubs along Frankford and Girard in Fishtown every weekend – we had no idea their reach extended to the beaches of Spain.

23 That’s the number of scheduled weekly stops on the touring caravan of heaven that is Parks on Tap. This year, Philadelphia Parks and Recreation added four additional stops. Parks on Tap will open for its fourth season on April 24.

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OVERHEARD IN PHILLY

“Having it be 75 [degrees] out one day and 35 [degrees] the next...is that considered a tease? A mindfuck? Both? It’s like iced coffee or hot? Uber or Lyft? Thongs or granny panties? – Two women taking a stroll down 8th and Spruce Sts., right outside Pennsylvania Hospital. Assuredly, this emerged from the fact that Saturday reached a high of nearly 75 degrees and less than 24 hours later Philly had driving rain and 35-40 milean-hour wind gusts. We feel you, ma. This is indeed some bullshit.

Dr. Jon Fisher

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Images courtesy of erneststuart.com

APRIL 4 - 11, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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Playing it cool Center City Jazz Festival prepares to celebrate eight years of great sound BY ANDREA CANTOR

ohn Coltrane, Lee Morgan, McCoy Tyner, Kenny Barron, Stanley Clarke. Philadelphia has been called home by many jazz greats. However, whether transplant or native, jazz musicians have had trouble keeping their feet – and instruments – planted in the city. “Philadelphia is pretty well known as an incubator for talent,” said trombone player Ernest Stuart, founder and creative director of the upcoming Center City Jazz Festival which celebrates its eighth season on March 27. “Talent develops here. But it certainly doesn’t stay here, not as much as other places.” It was a problem that Stuart himself faced as more jazz venues closed, including Ortlieb’s Jazzhaus in 2010, the club where he played his first Philly gig. While the spot reopened as Ortlieb’s Lounge in 2012, it was still a devastating -blow to jazz-centric spots for musicians to play. SEE JAZZ, PAGE 8

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | APRIL 4 - 11, 2019

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JAZZ, FROM PAGE 7

I’m sure these are people who consider themselves music lovers but maybe aren’t too fablow to jazz-centric spots for musicians to miliar with jazz,” explained Stuart, who has performed with the likes of John Legend, play. The closure also underscored the city’s problematic history with the music genre, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Seal, Aretha Franklin and Philly’s own, The Legendary styled with signature improvised and unexRoots Crew. “The great thing about it is that pected beats. “[Other jazz musicians and I] would sit they can just hop around and see whoever they like, and if there is something that around complaining at bars that this place shut down and that place shut down, and doesn’t strike their fancy, they can go to anthere is no more music over other venue.” here now,” said Stuart, who In its initial year, Stuart later moved to New York raised $17,000 for the festiCity. “Eventually, I stopped val through a Kickstarter complaining and tried to campaign. Even though he put something together.” said the jazz fest has conThat something would tinually sold-out well in adcome in 2012 with the Cenvance, it is still a struggle to ter City Jazz Festival: a onesecure funding each year. A day event, where attendees grassroots endeavor, Stuart could hop around different has raised funds through venues and listen to various grants, ticket sales and acts. community partnerships. This year’s event inBut Stuart said he wished cludes an all-access pass to the festival could attract a experience 20 bands at five corporate partner to alledifferent venues. The clubs, viate some of the financial all within walking distance burdens. of one another, are Franky “Every year it’s kind Bradley’s (1320 Chancellor of baffling, asking myself, St.), Chris’ Jazz Cafe (1421 ‘Where is the money comSansom St.), Fergie’s Pub ing from this year?’” said (Upstairs, 1214 Sansom St.), Stuart, who started the fesMaison 208 (Upstairs, 208 S. tival in his 20s but now has 13th St.) and TIME Restauthe added responsibilities rant (1315 Sansom St.). and time commitments as a The lineup of musical father and husband. “Until acts features Eric Wortham, recently, I wasn’t sure that The Marc Cary Trio, CamiI was even going to be able la Meza, Mike and Mekhi to do it this year. It can be Boone, and Adi Meyerson. difficult at times.” Philly natives include VerStuart received his first tical Current, Threezus, taste of the Philly jazz Marcus Myers & Ode to scene when he took high Omni and Lee Mo. school summer courses at As a part of the citywide the University of the Arts. Jazz Appreciation Month, As a then aspiring musiThe Office of Arts, Culture cian, Stuart remembers and the Creative Economy fondly of the days where he will host Philly Celebrates would hop into a friend’s – Trombone player Ernest Stuart, Jazz Neighborhood Series, car, walk South Street, lisfounder and creative director of the free neighborhood events ten to the music and try to Center City Jazz Festival. that showcase concerts, talk to women. He later atdance lessons, art exhibits tended Temple University, and film screenings. In adwhere he earned an underdition, City Hall currently hosting two exhib- graduate degree in jazz performance. its in its building: a Jazz Listening Lounge in Praising jazz for its various styles, Stuart is the Art Gallery, which runs through April 30, a fan of current artists Robert Glasper, Chrisand Reflections, an interactive display of mutian Scott and Brad Mehldau, particularly for sic, books, photographs and other jazz-related how they have “done a lot to push the genre paraphernalia on the second floor, and is one forward.” Stuart explained his passion for jazz of those events running well into May. comes in part from its ability to be self-reflecAs opposed to the rest of the month’s jazz tive. “Jazz is, in many ways, like a mirror,” he events, the Center City Jazz Festival affords said. “When you look at it, hopefully, you see music aficionados and jazz lovers a back-to- yourself reflected back.” back night of concerts and curious listeners Jazz Center City Festival | April 27. a crash course in today’s underserved sounds. 1-7pm. $20. Locations vary. ccjazzfest.com “A lot of the people at the festival are peo@ANDREAJCANTOR ple that I don’t see any other day of the year.

“Philadelphia is pretty well known as an incubator for talent. Talent develops here. But it certainly doesn't stay here, not as much as other places. [Other jazz musicians and I] would sit around complaining at bars that this place shut down and that place shut down, and there is no more music over here now. Eventually, I stopped complaining and tried to put something together.”

APRIL 4 - 11, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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You have our permission to go and check out these special jazz events First Friday! Jazz Age Music & Dance

Gallery B Exhibition Opening

It’s the 1920s: you’re thirsty for a good time – and a good cocktail – so you crawl into a speakeasy. Subversive jazz acts are jamming loud music you’ve never heard before. You start swinging your hips, dancing like you never have before. The power of the Jazz Age will be recreated at this event with a performance from Philly’s own Blackbird Society Orchestra. Swing ‘til you can’t see straight during a swing showcase offered by Society Hill Dance Academy. | Friday, April 5. 6pm. $28. The Barnes Foundation, 2025 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. barnesfoundation.org

performance in this exhibit of black-andwhite photos of legendary artists doing their thing on stage. The photos will be on display every day after April 5, so be sure to squeeze this in and allow Garvin to take you back to the pinnacle of live jazz. | Friday, April 5. 6pm. Free. Twenty-Two Gallery, 236 S. 22nd St. facebook.com

Friday Night Jazz

Jazz Roots: Solo Swing Dance Philly native Mark Garvin focuses on live Lessons

Jazz Brunch at Jerry’s Bar and Warmdaddy’s Live jazz will be played at both locations, but Warmdaddy’s will be offering a fixed-priced buffet while Jerry’s Bar will be pay-whatyou-wish. It all depends on how much cash you have left after catching all the events throughout the month. | Sundays, April 7-28. Prices vary. Jerry’s Bar, 129 W. Laurel St., and Warmdaddy’s, 1400 S. Columbus Blvd. creativephl.org

Get every weekend rolling with jazz artists that are sure to heat up the stage and light a fire on the dance floor. First up are Bebop pioneers Charlie Parker and Dizzy Gillespie. | Fridays, April 5-26. 6pm. $12-$22. Woodmere Art Museum, 9201 Germantown Ave. Jazz Jam Session eventbrite.com All you need to bring is your talent (or lack Dariel Peniazek Work-in-Progress thereof) to this jam session open to all levels Performance of experience. A piano, guitar, amp, drum set Get a first listen to all the jams this artist has and sound system will be provided in this intibeen working on at this special performance. mate space. But it’s not the instruments – it’s You’ve taken in enough jazz history – now it’s what you do with them. Just get the crowd time to see what the future holds. | Thursday, moving and you should be fine. | Monday, April 18. 8 pm. Free. The Kimmel Center, 300 April 8. 7 pm. $5. Drummers, 2152 E. Norris S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org St. jazznearyou.com

It doesn’t take two to jam to jazz. This weekly lesson will introduce people to the art of jazz dance moves that are essential for any true fan to know. OK, maybe you can get away without knowing how to dance, but wouldn’t it be fun to show off to your friends that you can do the Charleston? | Sunday, April 7- Sunday, April 28. 4:30 pm. $10-$15. Urban Movement Arts, 2100 Chestnut St. urbanmovementarts.com

Jeff Bradshaw There must be something in the cheese whiz that makes people from Philly unstoppable. Bradshaw has been awarded the “Living Legend Award” by the African American Musical Society for his extremely successful jazz career. Celebrate this honor with him as he jams out two sets over two days for us lucky sons of bitches. | Thursday, April 11- Friday, April 12. 7 pm. $27-$29. South Jazz Parlor, 600 N. Broad St. ticketfly.com

Rush Arts Philadelphia Celebration Now, this sounds like a party. A trio of jazz musicians will be performing at this event alongside spoken word by D-Cross and Danny Simmons, the founder of RAP and creator of the legendary Def Poetry Jam. You will Mos Def-initely not want to miss this one. | Friday, April 19. 6:30 pm. Free. Rush Arts Philadelphia, 4954 Old York Rd. facebook.com PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | APRIL 4 - 11, 2019

ARTS & CULTURE

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‘Sanctuary studio’ Meet the Kensington-based program weaving understanding into the opioid crisis

osephine “Jo-Jo” Smith re- out, was overjoyed to see Jo-Jo, who cently dropped into the Kens- was one of the original participants. “You could be my auntie or my sis,” ington Storefront for a proPannepacker said, a grin on gram called Tuesday BY COURTENAY Tea and Textiles for the first HARRIS BOND her face. Then on Smith’s behalf, Pannepacker intime in about five months. Kathryn Pannepacker, an artist and scribed the words “Jo-Jo, 49,” into a co-founder of the program where communal journal kept at the Storepeople can come each week to front. Diabetes affects Jo-Jo’s ability weave, grab a snack, or just hang to use her hands. Lisa Kelley and Kathryn Pannepacker started Tuesday Tea and Textiles nearly two years ago under the Market-Frankford line along Kensington Avenue. | Images: Courtenay Harris Bond

APRIL 4 - 11, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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ARTS & CULTURE

“I don’t crave for nothing to drink,” Jo-Jo from a hip surgery. She found herself “kind of said, as Pannepacker wrote. “I go to group. I hiding under it,” realizing that everybody was “healing from something,” Pannepacker said. take one day at a time, but I’m going to keep trying to get my legs and back together to get “We can stay under the covers or figure out a way to take a step forward.” stronger. I’m not going to give up.” At first, Pannepacker brought her “HealThe latter could be the perfect mantra for Pannepacker and Lisa Kelley, who started ing Blanket” project to anti-gun violence events, having people weave small swatches Tuesday Tea and Textiles as a 12-week pilot project at the Kensington Storefront, on Kens- to which they added notes. Now the walls of the Kensington Storefront are adorned with ington Avenue. Nearly two years later through Porch Light – an ongoing partnership between these weavings, made by Tea and Textiles participants, with missives such as “Be Safe, Be Mural Arts and Philadelphia’s Department of Behavioral Health and Intellectual disAbility Strong, Be Proud of Who You Are” and “Life only gets harder. Just don’t give up.” Services (DBHIDS). Every time their project Other Tea and Textiles participants have would come up for renewal, they would just been contributing to Kelley’s keep their “fingers crossed,” ongoing “Epidemic” project, Kelley said. or the creation of an emotive Tuesday Tea and Textiles tapestry in which individuals was “so popular that we kept write notes on strips of cloth it going,” said Porch Light and then weave them into Program Director Laure Bieach other. ron. “We seek to add to peoThe examples of which ple’s social health, spiritual hang adorn the walls at Kenshealth, and sometimes even ington Storefront. economic health,” Biron said, “The kindness that we adding that “Kathryn and show and the care that we Lisa really create a beautiful show – we’ve built relationsafe space for people. It’s very ships,” said Kelley, who grew warm and inviting.” up in Kensington, although Mural Arts has hubs simshe no longer lives there. ilar to the Kensington StoreKelley, who earned a defront throughout the city, gree in graphic design from such as Southeast by South– Tea and Textiles co-organizer Moore College of Art and Deeast in South Philadelphia and artist Kathryn Pannepacker sign, became involved in adand Neighborhood Time Exdiction and recovery work afchange in Belmont. These ter helping foster the children hubs function as spaces for visiting artists, as well as places for gathering of a friend who had become involved in drugs. Kelley said when she and Pannepacker first people interested in art-making, personal and started Tuesday Tea and Textiles, they set up public safety, and self-care. The hubs coorditables under SEPTA’s Market-Frankford Line nate diverse organizations offering a holistic approach to improve the well-being of neigh- along Kensington Avenue and invited people to come weave. Surprisingly, some acceptborhoods, Biron said. ed, and eventually, Pannepacker and Kelley On a recent Tuesday, Pannepacker and Kelley greeted individuals as they shuffled moved their work inside. “Everyone is welcome,” Kelley said. “It’s a through the glass doorways through which place of love, connection, family.” many of these same individuals had been At the end of every Tuesday (they hold two peering through in anticipation of the 10 a.m. sessions: one from 10 a.m. to noon and a secopening. People filed through a line to get sandwiches, cookies, and chips, as well as tea, ond from 1 to 3 p.m.), the group stands in a circle and says a prayer. Then they tie strings on and then sat around tables. Some people drew. one another’s wrists. “Let this string remind Some wrote in the communal journal. One you of the precious dear one you are,” reads man worked on a beading project. the prayer. Visiting nurses from the Community ColDerrick Green, one of the certified peer lege of Philadelphia, who were there to offer recovery specialists from DBHIDS who volblood pressure checks, wound care and other unteers at Tuesday Tea and Textiles, said he medical services, also took up some weaving. took a low-profile approach to helping people. Eric, who didn’t want to give his last name, was drawing in “wicket” – a hand-style or “We try to be supportive and let them know we been where they [are]. We don’t push ourfont of graffiti. He said he had been coming to Tuesday Tea and Textiles since it started to selves on them.” Near the end of a recent morning session, a “relieve stress” from “street life” and “drug man named Eric accepted from Green’s wife, use.” “Folks talk about the opioid crisis,” Panne- Jodi, a red and white, long checked scarf to hold up the jeans sagging on his skinny hips. packer said. “It’s also a despair crisis. We want “If you want help, it’s here,” said Eric, beto create a sanctuary studio – a place of hope.” Pannepacker, a weaver and painter, has en- fore stepping out through Storefront’s double glass doors, back out onto Kensington Avenue. gaged long-term in her “Healing Blanket Project” that started when her mother knitted her @CHARRISBOND a blanket when Pannepacker was recovering

“Folks talk about the opioid crisis. It’s also a despair crisis. We want to create a sanctuary studio – a place of hope.”

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Even though the homeless women of Fernwood East didn’t get the victory they wanted, they have advocates now committed to cause of homeless women’s rights. | Image: Andrea Cantor

APRIL 4 - 11, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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NEWS

Zero hour

The women at Fernwood East have left their shelter oasis, some gaining housing but more being shuffled around

he March 28 move-out date came some of the women because shelters and othand went for the women of Ferner arrangements to take them in were simply too full. wood East, a temporary emerAccording to Josh Kruger, the Office of gency shelter during the winter Homeless Services’ communications director, months. the City temporarily adds 300 beds to the overIn early March, Philadelphia Weekly spoke with nine of the all year-round emergency shelter capacity of women outside Councilwoman Jan2,600 beds. Considered almost as a necessary evil, many shelters also nie Blackwell’s office, where they incorporate chairs for sleeping artried to make Fernwood East a yearround women’s shelter or, at the rangements to handle the overflow. BY ANDREA CANTOR very least, gain an extension. FernFernwood East is not one of those shelters. wood RHD also includes a permaA day before the deadline, Curry nent men’s shelter in the west wing. and Cindy Lou Dennis, 54, met with The women even reached out to Columbus Property Management’s Mission famous celebrities for help, like Philly natives First Housing Group at 2042 Arch St. to disWill Smith, Kevin Hart, and Meek Mill as well as philanthropic personalities, such as Ellen cuss housing alternatives. Ultimately, the two Degeneres, Queen Latifah, and Oprah Winwomen were offered a shared housing option. After the meeting, Curry and Dennis said all frey. they knew was that they would live together Ultimately, the women’s pleas went unrewith a third unknown person in a house locatturned. “We are leaving, going places. We don’t ed in the Frankford area. “We haven’t gotten to seen the place yet or know if something else is going to happen at anything so we don’t know how [close knit] we that next shelter,” said Tanya Curry, 46, one of are going to be,” said Curry, who suffers from the women who was at Councilwoman Blackwell’s office. “That’s how I’ve been out on the multiple autoimmune diseases that makes moving around to different emergency shelstreet for over a year, because something hapters a challenge. “We can change our mind pens here, something happens there.” from now until the time to go see it and move According to Fernwood RHD Director Miin.” chele Rector, of the 42 women who stayed at Curry explained that “the good part” of the Fernwood East, 10 have secured Permanent deal is that the housing option would cost 30 Supportive Housing (PSH) that they have eipercent of their income. The concession, acther moved into or are in the transition of cording to Curry, is that they would be taken moving into. With the exception of four women with severe disabilities who will stay at off the PSH waiting list and could conceivably live with two random people for the “rest of Fernwood East for another two weeks while [their] lives.” appropriate housing is found, the rest of the “Well hopefully something might come women have been scattered around other city through before the shared housing, but if not, shelters. With the exodus, that leaves roughI’ll take the shared housing,” said Dennis, ly 60 beds that will remain unused until next Curry’s soon-to-be housemate. winter. Dennis said she has been on dialysis for 19 “Well, first of all, I don’t understand how women are still taking back seats. Women that years, which she attributes to being “sickly as a child.” Homeless since December, Dennis are homeless have children, they have a famiexplained she lost her job and went on disabilly, they have grandchildren and you put them ity after becoming gravely ill which led to her out on the street?” said Vale Bell, a case manager in support of the women. “Then you get a present-day situation. “It’s really hard because I’ve never been bed, stay for three months and then they move you somewhere like they cattle, just placed homeless before a day in my life,” Dennis exanywhere like they are animals.” Bell added that she had trouble placing SEE WOMEN, PAGE 14

Tanya Curry

Michele Rector, Director of Fernwood

Cindy Lou Dennis

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doctor after she left the military. “When I came out, I went to see my neurolplained. ogist and I showed him my discharge papers, Making it harder is the closing of Fern- and he was like, ‘you really went in the miliwood, a place that has provided her with relatary.’ I said, ‘yes, I told you I was going.’ ‘Yes, tive comfort and holistic programming. but physically you couldn’t make it, but you “It’s not fair that they let the men stay there did.’” and some of them have been there for three Xiana said she resents the fact that people and four years and never left,” Dennis contin- think all homeless people are drug addicts and ued. “And there’s no place alcoholics. While the opifor us women to go except oid epidemic is cited as the to go outside and walk main reason for the high around all day but we get a visibility rate in Philadelbed at night.” phia, it is also caused by Dennis attributed much shelter conditions which of Fernwood’s success to take a comparative back its staff, headed by Rector. seat in the City’s housRector said that homeless ing-first model as well as advocates and leaders need the lack of low-barrier to act as “shareholders, rent. not stakeholders” in the “We have to collaborate lives of homeless people to get the best outcome who come through their and we have to prepare door. Resilience is one of for it to get worse,” exthe many skills that Recplained Rector, who is tor tries to impart on those currently completing her who stayed at Fernwood dissertation on homelessEast. ness. “What I mean by ‘get “Women are multi-diworse’, is that we have to mensional, so I had to prepare, more homeless make sure that we enpeople will be homeless gage every aspect of what as the years go on because was happening to them the way the city is strucso that when they leave tured, especially since we or they secure the housdon’t have low-barrier ing, they wouldn’t take all rent.” of that with them,” said Even though the womRector, who has a behaven of Fernwood East were ioral health background. unable to keep the shel“That’s what they brought ter open, the lessons of here, we’re trying to do self-advocacy and activism something different and continue on in the lives give them another script that resided there this past to write so they don’t take winter. Curry, for one, has that same problem to this been inspired to do more new housing and end up work that helps women exbeing homeless again.” periencing homelessness, Xiana, 62, last name a testament to Rector’s withheld for privacy, is one dignified programming at – Fernwood RHD and Fernwood East of the four women tempoFernwood RHD. Director Michele Rector rarily remaining at Fern“I would like to get more wood East until housing involved in trying to fight can be found that accommodates her disabili- for our homeless women because [it’s just a] ty. Diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS), Xicategory that is not covered,” said Curry. “We ana said she has been homeless since Decem- need a spot and we want to fight for places for ber after the “man of the house” threw her us to go [to] get off the street [and be] safe.” out because she wouldn’t pay her $ 200 rent for a place without heat. Even in her current situation, Xiana is known to be a fighter. Despite her MS and doctor’s disbelief and disapproval, Xiana said she served in the military back in 1981 in St. Louis Missouri, doing basic training until she This article is part of Broke in Philly, a received an honorable discharge for her discollaborative reporting project among 22 news ability. organizations, focused on Philadelphia’s push Sitting in Mission First Housing Group’s towards economic justice. Read more of our rewaiting area after finding out that there were porting at brokeinphilly.org no housing options suitable for her condition, @ANDREAJCANTOR Xiana smiled recalling her exchange with her

“Women are multidimensional, so I had to make sure that we engage every aspect of what was happening to them so that when they leave or they secure the housing, they wouldn't take all of that drama with them. That's what they brought here, we're trying to do something different and give them another script to write so they don't take that same problem to this new housing and end up being homeless again.”

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Give ‘em what they want SEPTA board passes transit officers’ new contract, including a new policy on releasing officers’ contact information BY ANDREA CANTOR

ollowing the SEPTA transit officers’ affirmative vote on March 17, the SEPTA board unanimously passed the previously agreed upon, tentative five-year contract on March 28. “Everything that was in the proposed agreement was approved by the Board,” said Andrew Busch, SEPTA’s chief press officer. “There wasn’t any discussion around it at the meeting, just a standard vote.” The contract comes as a sigh of relief and as a sign of victory for the officers who have been working for over a year without an agreement. The inability to come to a deal led to a strike by the Fraternal Order of Police (FOP) Transit Police Officers Lodge 109’s 178 members on March 6. SEE SEPTA, PAGE 16

The five-year contract includes across-the-board pay raises, more access to body-worn camera footage and new disclosure rules for releasing officers’ contact information. | Image: Kerith Gabriel

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Most notably, the contract which will extend over the next five years includes across-the-board pay raises and more access to body-worn camera footage.

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After reaching a tentative agreement on March 12, the officers went back to work and awaited official ratification. Since its passing, the new contract went into effect March 30. Among the various details of the contract, past reports focused mainly on two stipulations: across-the-board pay raises and an amendment to the transit officers’ body-worn camera (BWC) policy. Not addressed prior to the contract’s ratification is a new provision on privacy rights for police officers. Belonging to Article 33, under Officer Rights, the new protocol prohibits SEPTA from releasing an officer’s contact information to the public or media, unless an incident resulted in termination. “The Authority will refrain from releasing any officer’s name, age, address, or contact information, during the course of or after an Internal Affairs Investigation, to the media or public, except in cases of termination,” the policy states. According to Busch, the union were the ones to bring the privacy amendment to the negotiation table with SEPTA’s board. When asked whether withholding contact information would hinder media and public-facing accountability standards, Busch responded: “From SEPTA’s standpoint, we believe this provision balances the concerns expressed by the union to protect officers’ privacy, while also allowing SEPTA to keep the public informed about incidents of serious misconduct that result in termination,” said Busch. “There was no specific prohibition such as this in the previous contract, however, it is consistent with past practice.” Even if the non-disclosure policy is “consistent with past practice,” the written amendment has drawn criticism for its lack of transparency and its possible promotion of inappropriate acts, which require punitive action but do not result in termination, by officers. “This is what the police state does. Protect cops, hide evidence and cloak it in privacy,” said Abdul-Aliy Muhammad, co-founder of the Black and Brown Workers Co-op. “This is an example of why policing should be abol-

ished.” The prohibition is just the latest policy in the SEPTA transit officers’ new contract that raises red flags. As previously reported and as per Article 33, under Officer Rights, transit officers will now be allowed to view body camera footage after submitting an initial incident report and before being interviewed in an internal or administrative investigation. Experts and activists have criticized the policy of allowing officers to review footage, because it is noted to distort memories as well as allow officers to change their stories to match what’s seen in the footage. “The Authority (SEPTA) recognizes that video images may not always show the full story nor do video images capture an entire scene,” the updated policy states. “The Authority also recognizes that completing a written document from memory alone may be subject to slight deviations in accuracy. As such, the Authority agrees to continue its practice of not using Body Worn Camera (BWC) video to initiate discipline for minor deviations in an officer’s recollection of events.” Officers are able to submit a supplemental report if there is discrepancy found between the footage and report. The contract follows: “Upon request, an officer will be permitted to view BWC camera recordings, when available from their own BWC after the initial report pursuant to an arrest or Response to Resistance is submitted and approved by a supervisor. Upon request, the officer will be permitted to provide additional information if the BWC video recording prompted further clarity or detail to supplement the initial approved report; or to provide context to their initial report or statement.” In regards to transit police viewing camera footage before internal investigations, the contract reads: “Prior to being interviewed in an internal or administrative investigation, officers may preview video upon request from their camera or the camera of another officer engaged in the same incident, if the video is being used to support discipline.”

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Meek Mill and Pa. House Republicans and Democrats unveiled a new bill that would reform probation and parole systems. | Image: Andrea Cantor

APRIL 4 - 11, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

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Members of society Meek Mill, Pa. House Dems, Republicans debut new parole and probation reform bill

ennsylvania’s prison population has increased 850 percent over the last 40 years, maintaining the highest incarceration rate in the entire Western Hemisphere. On average, there are 80,000 Pennsylvanians in prison on

ed to be introduced to floor this session would prevent reincarceration for testing positive for marjuana while under supervision, association with a person with a criminal history or traveling outside allowed jurisdiction. “Out of all 50 states, Pennsylvania has the second highest percentage of citizens on probation and parole,” Harris said at the press any given day. conference. “These lengthy probation senRapper Meek Mill, a Philadelphia native, tences are unnecessary and only hold down has first-hand knowledge of this people who are trying to right their statistic. lives and become productive mem“I hate [that] it had to be me, to bers of society again.” BY ANDREA go to jail,” said Mill as he stood at While the statistics remain high, CANTOR a podium on April 2 at Thomas Pennsylvania decreased its prison Paine Plaza. “A rapper or a public population by more than a thoufigure [needs to go] to jail, for it to sand people or roughly 2.2 percent, become an issue but it is an issue according to CSG Justice Center. and this is where were are.” Legislatively, Pennsylvania enacted the Clean Standing alongside state House Democrats Slate law to seal criminal records of certain and Republicans to introduce a new biparti- cases last year. san bill to reform parole and probation sysProbation or parole reform has also been tems, Meek spoke on behalf of REFORM Al- making headway on a local level with District liance, a criminal justice reform organization Attorney Larry Krasner’s recent initiatives, he launched with hip hop mogul, Jay-Z in Jansuch as announcing an internal policy that uary. CNN news commentator Van Jones and shortens supervision times and sending a let76ers co-owner Michael Rubin, both REFORM ter to all Common Pleas and Municipal Court Alliance founders, were also in attendance. judges to be more lenient on probation sen“This proposed bill is the first step in tences. changing the criminal justice system and it’s Another positive sign for the future of prisonly right that we start in my home state,” on reform was the bipartisan nature of House Mill said, who was sentenced to two years in Bill 1925. Although State Rep. Mike Jones (Rstate prison but was incarcerated for just over Pa.) of York County told Philadelphia Weekly five months inside SCI Chester over a proba- that Republicans made concessions on caps tion violation last year. “I’ve lost too much on probations and some of the bill’s language time away from my son, my family, my friends is still being “tweaked,” the bipartisan effort and fans in Philly because of outdated proba- was primarily smooth. tion laws, so I want to make sure people don’t “I think first and foremost, it’s just the right have to go through what I did.” thing to do from a moral perspective and a Spearheaded by state Reps. Jordan Harris freedom perspective, but it’s also good busi(D-Philadelphia) and Sheryl Delozier (R-Cumness,” said Jones. berland), House Bill 1925 would prevent con“With our country being so divisive right secutive probation sentences, prohibit extendnow, I welcome any opportunity to work on ing probation or parole time as a consequence a bipartisan basis and try to bring people toof an inability to pay fines and fees, and create gether.” an incentive program for good behavior. @ANDREAJCANTOR In addition, the proposed legislation intend-

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We out here Trans visibility was on full display at qFLIX, the queer film festival celebrating the LGBTQ community BY ALEX NAGY

nternational Transgender Day of Visibility was on March 31. With it arrived a celebration, featuring pink, white and blue flags that rallied awareness to the struggles and accomplishments of the trans community. qFLIX, the annual queer film festival that ran from March 25-31 at Plays & Players Theater in Philadelphia, screened several groundbreaking films that represented LGBTQ actors, characters and filmmakers. Of all the films there were two that particularly stood out. They were “The Queens” and “Jack & Yaya,” which illustrated the real lives of trans people. QFlix, the annual film festival celebrating LGBTQ culture and lifestyle had yet another solid showing at Plays & Players Theater. | Image: Alex Nagy

SEE TRANS, PAGE 22

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | APRIL 4 - 11, 2019

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LGBTQ entertainment professionals attended QFlix. | Image: Alex Nagy

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“The Queens” is a documentary about transgender people who compete in the Miss Continental female impersonation pageant. The film was screened on March 28 to an intimate crowd at Plays & Players Theatre near Rittenhouse Square. In the film’s opening third, Jim Flint, the pageant owner, shares the reason he started Miss Continental was because all of the other pageants discriminated unfairly. Flint would then go back on his word that transgender people aren’t allowed in his competition. “…You’re not an impersonator, you’re a woman,” Flint said to defend his reasoning. Some other competitors featured in the film agreed with him, claiming that it’s unfair when someone who lives life as a woman is competing against a man who is trying to appear more feminine. The pageant doesn’t vet people to find out if they’re transgender. In fact, most of the competitors interviewed “The Queens” are transgender, and nearly all of them have won a Miss Continental crown two notable trans queens in Alexis Gabrielle Sherrington (2011) and Tiffany Hunter took the crown home in 2015. Flint created a pageant that isn’t supposed to discriminate, but it does. The transgender competitors in the film have won their way through Miss Continental by performing the best, with no advantage given due to the hormones they take or the plastic surgery they’ve received. “Identity doesn’t matter, just give us the most feminine woman you can,” Skip Mackall, the Miss Continental head judge, said in the film. Overall, “The Queens” may not be technically perfect – frankly, the introduction to is too damn long and there are too many people that it tries to focus on. But it does portray a solid story in terms of trans hardships and acceptance in the Miss Continental competition. “Jack and Yaya” was an incredibly candid film about two friends who were friends since early childhood, both of whom are transgender. This movie had its world premiere Saturday night at Plays & Players, packed to the brim with supportive friends and family of the

stars. Shot entirely with one camera, the film follows Jack and Yaya as they meet up in their South Jersey hometown to celebrate 30 years of friendship. Jack born a girl, and Yaya born a boy, both share that they had always acted as if they were the opposite gender. Eventually, they both decided to transition. Throughout the film, Jack and Yaya share their experiences with coming out as gay and then coming out as transgender, and the legal and physical aspects of transitioning. It should be noted that both are surrounded by a loving and accepting family that would bring you to tears. Jack lives in Boston, where it is generally easier for him to transition. He was able to change his name with little struggle and is able to have a hysterectomy through his medical insurance. On the other hand, in New Jersey, Yaya hasn’t had the same luck. She faces roadblocks in trying to change her name – there are apparently 18 steps that need to be taken to do so – and in receiving the proper hormones for transitioning. She even buys her medicine online. Near the end of the film, Jack shows a painting he created, titled “What’s between your legs?” He was inspired by encounters that both he and Yaya often have to deal with – specifically when people would approach them and blatantly ask if they were trans or what their gender is. The powerful stories shared in Jack and Yaya are extremely important in properly representing the trans community. Although they are generally accepted by their families, their identity has disadvantaged them in areas that shouldn’t discriminate, like health care. One of the simplest ways to show appreciation to the trans members of our community is by representing their stories. qFLIX did so beautifully through the screenings of “The Queens” and “Jack and Yaya,” among other films screened throughout the week. Transgender identities are valid and their struggles in being accepted in society don’t go unnoticed.

@ALEXBNAGY

FILM

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Down and really

fucking dirty If you’ve yet to see the Netflix rock biopic on Mötley Crüe, get your popcorn ready BY STEPHEN SILVER

“The Dirt,” the film chronicling 1980s glam metal band Mötley Crüe now streaming on Netflix, structurally resembles a by-the-numbers music biopic, full of the sort of cliches that “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story” was making fun of more than a dePhoto credit: Jake Giles Netter/Netflix

cade ago, while adding a little more drugs and a hell of a lot more sex. It’s not great, but it’s undoubtedly a better film than “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Even if the music isn’t nearly as good. SEE DIRT, PAGE 24

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | APRIL 4 - 11, 2019

FILM

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

The wild, brash and highly drug-fueled story of legendary rock group, Mötley Crüe is conveyed in Netflix biopic, “The Dirt. | Image: YouTube screenshot

DIRT, FROM PAGE 23

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APRIL 4 - 11, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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“The Dirt” was directed by Jeff Tremaine, who directed all four “Jackass” movies and is, therefore, no stranger to men behaving disgustingly. The film itself was written by Rich Wilkes, a veteran of the Vin Diesel “XXX” franchise. The film is an adaptation of Mötley Crüe's 2001 memoir “The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band.” That book, written with Neil Strauss, is generally considered one of the filthiest, most hedonistic rock biographies of all time. The only possible rival is Stephen Davis' 1985 Led Zeppelin offering, “Hammer of the Gods,” which has never gotten a movie adaptation – for several very good reasons. The Dirt does remain faithful to the general spirit of the source material, although some of the more notorious stuff from the book is omitted, most notably a certain gross anecdote involving breakfast burritos. It does, however, leave in a scene in which the band meets Ozzy Osbourne poolside and, in order to demonstrate the necessity of the rock n' roll lifestyle, he does some unspeakably gross stuff involving ants and urine. (Ozzy is played by Tony Cavalero, who plays the Jack Black part on the Nickelodeon version of “School of Rock.”) Every time the characters sit down at a table, you can guess that women are waiting below to fellate them. Creating multi-dimensional female characters, and treating them respectfully, is not this movie's strong suit; there's even one particularly egregious scene in which the band rocks so hard that the sheer force of their music gets a complaining girlfriend to shut up. Yes, it's unapologetically sleazy. But considering the band's reputation, any Mötley Crüe biopic that went the Freddie Mercury route – of telling the story as if its subject had led a PG-13 life of sweetness and near-chastity – would be instantly laughed off the screen by anyone even remotely familiar with this group.

The film stars Douglas Booth as Nikki Sixx, rapper Machine Gun Kelly (credited by his real name Colson Baker) as Tommy Lee, Iwan Rheon (Ramsey Bolton from Game of Thrones) as guitarist Mick Mars and Daniel Webber as singer Vince Neil. That three of the four men (all but Neil) have just about the same haircut and look very much alike, is a problem the movie never quite solves. All four core members of Mötley Crüe are still alive – though Nikki Sixx, as shown in the film, was once declared clinically dead for several minutes in 1987 — and all four are listed as executive producers. That means this story is going to be told in a manner that's self-serving to some degree, although at least we don't have a situation like “Straight Outta Compton” – in which some members of the group had a hand in the movie while others didn't – or lke “Bohemian Rhapsody,” in which the living band member and producers took the opportunity to settle various scores with Mercury, their late bandmate. That's not to say “The Dirt" doesn't make other mistakes. The rock biopic cliche is strong with this one. There's everything from the rising up from the ashes tale of Sixx to the character motivated by the rejection of his father – in again Nikki Sixx – to a redemption arc that doesn't quite feel earned. There's nothing particularly novel or risk-taking about the filmmaking. I've been told by ‘80s rock experts that the guitar models aren't accurate, and even worse, neither are the copious bottles of Jack Daniel’s throughout. The film also doesn't quite land the right tone in the third act, especially when it juxtaposes the band's brief John Corabi era with the death of Vince Neil's young daughter. Despite all that, “The Dirt” is a film that's true to what Mötley Crüe was and doesn't really have an agenda of any kind beyond that. No, it's not going to win four Oscars. But what’s refreshing is that it's not utterly false, either.

@STEPHENSILVER

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THUR APRIL 4

FOOD & DRINK

Crime and Cookies

“A live true crime comedy show and bake sale.” We mean … come on. It’s like this event was tailor-made for the pages of Philly Weekly. We can’t be sure, obviously, but we have to assume that they came up with it knowing full well that we’d wind up writing about it. Those Tattooed Mom jerks; we love them so much. Anyway. Join local comedians Gina and Andrea as they host a live interactive comedy show focusing on the survivors of the most notorious true crime stories. Then eat delicious baked treats. It’s a classic wincrime-win. | 830pm. Free. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. tattooed-momphilly.com MUSIC

Hatebreed

Sometimes, a band name can be confusing. And not just because it’s nonsensical, like Panic! At the Disco or Hoobastank. Sometimes, it’s as simple as the musical content not matching the tone of the name. That is not the case for Hatebreed, who’ve been pounding out their particular brand of murderous metalcore since the mid 90’s. There’s an undeniably satisfying (If ultimately scary) symmetry in that, we think. | 630pm. $19. Franklin Music Hall, 421 N. 7th St. ticketmaster.com

THE SCENE A WEEK'S WORTH OF ADVENTURES A C R O S S P H I L LY N E I G H B O R H O O D S

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY TRIVIA

“Mean Girls” Quizzo

We’ve all been Cady Heron at one point or another in our lives. Coming from Africa, where her parents were committed zoologists and homeschooled their daughter as a result, Cady isn’t prepared for the many invisible, but undeniably real pitfalls of American high school life. And while most of us didn’t grow up in the wilds of Africa, that feeling of not quite fitting in bridges nearly every distance imaginable. | 730pm. $13. Philadelphia Film Society, 1412 Chestnut St. filmadelphia.secure.force. com

Philadelphia Environmental Film Festival 54 films. 16 countries. 10 feature-length premieres. One amazing experience. Pointedly pithy, protracted prose aside, we really mean it when we say that the third annual Philadelphia Environmental Film Festival is going to rock your ethically-sourced wool socks clean off. Prepare to be inspired. Prepare to be entertained. Prepare to be enthralled, enrapt by anything, everything, well, environmental. Most importantly, prepare to be informed. Because action is the

only open avenue to change and it most often comes as a result of an increase in information, a growth in knowledge. At the Philadelphia Environmental Film Festival, you’ll learn more than you ever thought you would, could or should know about the future of our planet. It may seem bleak at first (Looking your way, climate change deniers), but if there’s one thing you take away from the Philly Enviro Film Fest, it should be this; action is in the works.

– CAL SETAR | @CALSFRO

WHAT: Philadelphia Environmental Film Festival WHEN: April 5-7. 530pm. COST: Prices vary. WHERE: Philadelphia Film Center, 1412 Chestnut St. MORE: philaenvirofilmfest.org

APRIL 4 - 11, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

FITNESS

Race the Bus 5

As always, we’ll apologize for hosting a fitness-themed event; working out is terrible and no person should ever be forced to run for more than five consecutive minutes. That being said, we know there are at least a few of you out there who’d actually (gulp) enjoy a running event. Please, just take this Clean Air Council, SEPTA and West Philly Runners event and go. Literally, race a bus and, in the process, train for the upcoming Run for Clean Air if you must; just don’t force us to join or watch. We beg you. | 515pm. Free. facebook.com FILM

“The Field Guide to Evil” Screening

Folklore and mythology are the best. Like, have you ever really looked into all the myths and folktales that make up our wild,

uncontrollable country? FOOD & DR How else would something like “The Field Guide to Evil,” a feature-length folklore anthology film directed by Taste some o Veronika Franz and Severin food from all o world as you’ Fiala, Peter Strickland, about the cul Agnieszka Smoczynska, Katrin Gebbe, Can Evrenol, have created culinary creat Calvin Reeder, Ashim of all that you Ahluwalia and Yannis great waterco Veslemes, come to be? | 730pm. $12. PhilaMOCA, 531 next day as yo trying someth N. 12th St. coworkers ha ticketfly.com of. We’re sure Prices vary. W COSPLAY 6th St.

Global 2019

Wharton 54: Heroes & Villains

ticketleap.co

If you love cosplay, dress-up or even putting on a little AP more eye shadow than the average person, than this MUSIC bash is right up your alley, in a remake of iconic New York nightclub, Studio 54. It’ll be a night to remember, we know because unlike the original Studio 54 scene, you can’t buy choice drugs in the It’s a Mac atta bathroom of the club. If so, everybody an it’s sure to be one hell of a clinging to the re-creation. | 10 pm. Prices of his youth, d vary. Voyeur Nightclub, 1221 to convince yo Saint James St. siblings that h

Fleetwo at the Wellsfa Center

even as you n talking to him even as you n LEARN continuing to gut continuin the while the If you love you some botany, fading his eye then you need to consider something co the following as experts from invited. | 8 pm Longwood Gardens will be in Wells Fargo C town to discuss the lifeblood Broad St. wharton.upenn.edu

The Strange World of Seeds

of agriculture, plant life and wellsfargoce biodiversity as we know it: com seeds. Seeds of all types will be up for discussion so no question is a dumb one. | 6:30 pm. Prices vary. The College of Physicians of Philadelphia, 19 S. 22nd St. eventbrite.com

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LYWEEKLYPHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY FOOD & DRINK

Global Tastes 2019

Taste some of the best food from all over the world as you’ll also learn about the cultures that have created these insane culinary creations. On top of all that you’ll have some great watercooler talk the next day as you can boast trying something new your coworkers have never heard of. We’re sure of it. | 6 pm. Prices vary. WHYY, 150 N. 6th St. ticketleap.com

FRI

SHOW

Paw Patrol Live: “Race to the Rescue”

If you’ve spent any time at all around children in the last six months to a year, then you’re already well aware of Chase and Skye and the entire Paw Patrol phenomenon. In fact, it’s become so ubiquitous that it’s actually entered into the world of memes; look it up, we promise you won’t be disappointed. We can’t promise you’ll enjoy yourself, but we can promise that your kids will. | 6 pm. Prices vary. The Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org

APRIL 5

COMEDY MUSIC

Fleetwood Mac at the Wellsfargo Center

It’s a Mac attack and everybody and their dad, still clinging to the last vestiges of his youth, determined to convince you and your siblings that he’s still cool, even as you notice mom talking to him less and less, even as you notice his hair continuing to thin and his gut continuing to grow, all the while the light slowly fading his eyes, replaced by something colder, darker, are invited. | 8 pm. Prices vary. Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St. wellsfargocenterphilly. com

College Improv Night

Improv ain’t easy, but it sure is fun. That should be, like, on a t-shirt or something. In fact, there’s probably some improv group somewhere whose made that t-shirt; and, if not, we’d like to ensure we receive our royalty check. Please contact our lawyer. Also, please attend this college improv event. It ain’t free, but it sure is cheap. And fun(ny). | 11 pm. $5-$10. Philly Improv Theater, 2030 Sansom St. eventbrite.com FOOD & DRINK

American Whiskey Convention

Who amongst us doesn’t enjoy a bit of the brown from time to time? We’re not sodden enough to think that every corner of the Philly map has their hands raised, but we’re willing to bet more than a few of you are willing to spend big on

a night of whiskey and … straight-razor shaves? Ok, sounds dangerous. But we’re in. | 5:30 pm. $50-$100. University of Pennsylvania Museum of Archaeology & Anthropology, 3260 South St. americanwhiskeyconvention.com ARTS & CRAFTS

Wooden Flip Flop Serving Tray Paint Night

If you want an actual mouthful - of beer or wine or bourbon or some combination thereof - you’ll have to supply your own. Don’t worry about the art supplies though; everything else is provided for you (not including the artistic ability necessary to make your wooden serving tray a winner; of what? It doesn’t matter).| 6:30 pm. $45. Saint Monica School, 2500 S. 16th St. paypal.com DISCUSSION

Radio Times with Stacey Abrams

Stacey Abrams has earned every bit of her legacy. Through sheer will and hardwork, she’s become an author, entrepreneur, nonprofit CEO and political leader. She spent 11 years in the Georgia House of Representatives, seven as Minority Leader, and became the 2018 Democratic nominee for Governor of Georgia. Cower in terror at this live event as she makes it clear she’s not even close to finished yet. | 10 am. $20$40. WHYY, 150 N. 6th St. eventbrite.com

FOOD & DRINK

Jack’s Firehouse Irish Murder Mystery

For one specific person on one specific evening at one specific event; this event, to be exact. Transport yourself to the Roaring 20s when flapper hats were all the rage and equality was a four-letter word, to unpack this alluring murder mystery, brought to you straight from the Emerald Isle. | 7 pm. $48. Jack’s Firehouse, 2130 Fairmount Ave.

Oh hi Philly

ticketspice.com MOVIES

Midnight Madness: The Room with Tommy Wiseau

We did not make up this event. We did not. We did nooooooot … oh. Hi, readers. Fans of “The Room,” the most unique and, ahem, sounwatchable-it’s-watchable movie ever made, will be all over this event. The rest of us are ready to burn the original copy and go back to the world we used to live in, one where we didn’t know of Tommy Wiseau’s existence and we could hear the name Mark without picturing a sickly pale stick figure on a rooftop, desperately trying to emote. | 12 am. $20. Landmark’s Ritz at the Bourse, 400 Ranstead St. landmarktheatres. com

Midnight Madness: The Room with Tommy Wiseau

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | APRIL 4 - 11, 2019

28 X

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SAT APRIL 6

ARTS & CRAFTS

Slow Art Day

“But, Calendar Section of Philly Weekly,” we hear you saying. “Isn’t all art technically ‘slow art?’” Yes, Dear Reader, most art in the classical sense could also be deemed some form of “slow art.” But this is less about semantics, and more about being conscious about the way we live. Take a breath. Move slow. Create something beautiful. | 10 am. Free. Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. philamuseum.org WINE WEEK

Farm to Glass

Small scale, sustainable, organic and biodynamic; Wine is a true treasure, a terroir treat that leaves us glowing from gut to grin. But how it arrives in your glass is just as important as where and when it’s poured. | 12 pm. Prices vary. Fishtown Social, 1525 Frankford Ave.

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY INTERESTS

Tarot Jawn: Occult Art and Practice

Any event with “jawn” in the title is sure to receive a stamp of approval from Philadelphia Weekly (Not saying it’s a cheap way to land in these pages, but, well … ya know). Couple that with an artistic approach to the otherworldly and occult (And a Gritty reference or three) and we legit couldn’t be happier to include this event. | 5 pm. Free. Thelesis Oasis, Ordo Templi Orientis, 1627 N. 2nd St. facebook.com MUSIC

Washed Out

Imagine yourself wandering along a silent shore, stars twinkling gently in the blackness above, reflected like pinpoints on the crash and crush extending out beyond the break. The wind picks up suddenly, falling against you like a lost love, easing into

and then through, a visiting spirit never to return. That’s what listening to Washed Out feels like. | 9 pm. $15. The Dolphin, 1539 S. Broad St. eventbrite.com FOOD & DRINK

Rittenhouse Farmers Market

Forget farm to table or farm to glass; we’re going full-on farm to city. Philly already has an impressive array of restaurants who’ve jumped onto the farm to table movement, offering organic and farm-raised ingredients that provide a sumptuous, and sustainable, experience. Now, it’s your turn. | 9 am. Free. Rittenhouse Square, 210 W. Rittenhouse Sq. farmtocity.org

facebook.com

THEATER

Awful Wrestling: MocaMania 2

Every now and again, an event so interesting, so intriguing, so mind-bendingly ridiculous comes along, we have no choice but to climb to the highest heights available to us (Our desk chair), and sing that event’s praises as if we were, in fact, its forebears. Alas, we were not the first to conjure this “artistic and unathletic wrestling event,” which may well go down as our life’s greatest regret. | Saturday 7 pm. $10. PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St. facebook.com

APRIL 4 - 11, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

PEOPLE

Amanda Palmer

Amanda Palmer is one of those creatives for whom the title “artist” is truly apt. Which is to say, she doesn’t have just one medium through which she works; she has many. While this event focuses on her solo piano tour, “There Will Be No Intermission,” the Dresden Dolls front-lady is also self-releasing an artbook of narrative photography which is meant to complement the show. Quit it, Amanda. You’re making us all look bad. | 7:30 pm. $30-$55. Temple Performing Arts Center, 1837 N. Broad St. templeperformingartscenter.org

MOVIE

Slug Wife

Slug Wife, thug life; you can’t have on without the other, know what we mean? Honestly, we hope your immediate thought upon reading that was, “What the fuck are you talking about, PW?,” because that was largely nonsense. But if our oddness got you this far, then maybe, much like Andy Dufresne’s friend Red, you’d be willing to go a little further (Yes, we mean this event and yes, that was an entirely unnecessary “Shawshank Redemption” reference. You’re welcome). | 9 pm. $20. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St. theticketingco.com

SUN APRIL 7

FESTIVAL

Philly BalkanFest

The Folk Dance Council of the Delaware Valley has joined forces with Fly Bottle Records to bring Philly its first-ever festival celebrating anything and everything Balkanese. You might be surprised to discover that Philly actually has a rich history of Balkan and Roma (Gypsy) artists and artisans creating in their old world traditions. Let’s take time today to celebrate their work and their legacy. | 2 pm. $20. The Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St. brownpap-ertickets.com EVENT

Planted PopUp Market & Plant Swap

Makers. That’s what Philadelphia’s full of, what separates it from other major cities across the US; we’re a community of makers. That’s why you see so many awesome events, just like this one. Makers make, and then share; it’s basically become a custom here in Philly. Make a

plant. Bring it to Planted. Profit. Repeat. | 12 pm. Free. The Maas Building & 5th Side, 1320 N. 5th St. eventbrite.com CHARITY

Spring Clothing Swap

Sometimes, it’s nice to just get something new. Even if, technically speaking, that thing isn’t really “new.” Maybe it’s been worn a few times, mostly to bed. Maybe it’s been worn a whole hell of a lot, saw you through your first break up and even stuck around long enough to make sure you got back on your feet. But now it’s time to move on, for you and for them. We’re talking about clothes, by the way.| 7 pm. Free. Elixir Coffee, 207 S. Sydenham St. facebook.com MUSIC

Future Stars Show

Showcases like this are such an amazing opportunity. If you’re like us, then you definitely find yourself scraping the bottom of the Spotify library barrel more and more often with each passing week. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Sure, they’re not heading out on

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY like Third Eye Blind, Cake, Rooney, DIIV, Cold War Kids, The Kills and Modest Mouse. Led by a pair of Dutch-born brothers, the Denver born and bred band are bringing their brand of indie rock to Silk City for a slow, silky Saturday show. | 8 pm. $10. Silk City, 435 Spring Garden St.

Shilpa Ray

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international tours or going platinum anytime soon, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth keeping your eyes (And ears) peeled for your new favorite band. | 11:30 am. $10. Hard Rock Cafe, 1113 Market St. eventbrite.com

given time and space, will absolutely rock you like you’ve never been rocked before. Fortunately, this event does, in fact, reflect that female-forward feeling. Note: Tutus sold separately. | 8 am. $15. Rhythm of Nutrition, 2169 66th Ave. eventbrite.com

MUSIC

Shilpa Ray

Shilpa Ray seems awesome for a lot of reasons. Firstly, of course, there’s the music. She’s a blues-rocker with a penchant for weird vocals and layers of Indian harmonium arcing through her songs. But she also just seems like a cool/weird/ all that and then some kind of person. Like, her first solo album was called “It’s All Self Fellatio, Shilpa Ray,” and if that’s not just the most awesome thing, we don’t know what is. | 7 pm. $10. Everybody Hits, 529 W. Girard Ave. ticketfly.com SPORTS

Women Rock International Tutu Run

Women rock. That’s not necessarily a description of this event; we’re just of the mind that women are amazing and complex and, if

EARTH FRIENDLY

Schuylkill River Cleanup

Giving back is important. It fosters a sense of community and helps those people and places less fortunate to make a turn toward the better. Not to mention, well, it makes you feel good. It’s nice helping other people! Who knew? The Schuylkill provides us plenty, and it asks so little in return. What’s a few hours on Saturday afternoon, picking up garbage and saying thank you to Mother Nature? | 1 pm. Free. Bartram’s Garden, 5400 Lindbergh Blvd. bartrams-garden.org MUSIC

Slow Caves

Slow Caves might not be a household name yet, but they’ve got quite a few shows to their credit, playing alongside cultural consciousness mainstays

MON APRIL 8

MUSIC

Life in Vacuum

It’s always such an interesting experience listening to the type of music that Life in Vacuum makes. You could come up with all kinds of kitchy ways to refer to it, but at the end of the day, the best term for it is probably “intelligent.” They make angular, odd, spastic, urgent music that means far more with every listen. “Math rock” isn’t the most appealing term in the world, but it’s also not wrong. | 8 pm. $8. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. ticketfly.com EVENT

Center for the Preservation of Modernism Opening Reception

Turns out, modernism isn’t really all that modern. Sure, it was once. But time and styles have come and gone and in the intervening years, modern suddenly became a very specific thing. If you’re interested in learning more about the style and where it originated, take a trip to learn about Jefferson’s

Hassrick House, a perfect example of mid-century modern architecture. | 4 pm. Free. Jefferson College of Architecture and the Built Environment, 4201 Henry Ave. eventbrite.com

election. Considering the people elected will have a stake in our city’s justice, safety and dignity, it’s probably important we speak our mind on who sits on the bench. | 6 pm. Free. The Friends Center: Cherry Street Room, 1501 Cherry St. facebook.com

MUSIC

Tommy and the Commies

EMPOWERMENT

Women in Leadership: Shattering the Glass Ceiling

Someday, equality - real, true, tangible equality - will exist in this big, beautiful experiment we call America. Until that time, though, we’re

forced to make due with the world we’ve been given. And that world is so often maledominated and womenlimiting. Forget escaping the glass ceiling; it’s time to shatter that shit. | 6 pm. $10. Drexel University, Lebow College of Business, 3141 Chestnut St. drexel.edu

Tommy and the Commies actually got their start in a bathroom stall at a punk show, which, let’s be honest, may be the single most punktastic story that’s ever been told. And lucky us, because without that awkward initial interaction, we’d never have been blessed with the kind of crunchy Buzzcocks-esque rock Tommy and his Commie brethren have managed to make. | 8 pm. $10. Ortlieb’s, 847 N. 3rd St. ticketfly.com POLITICS

Judge the Judges: Candidates Forum

This year, there will be a whopping seven vacancies in the Philadelphia Courts up for

TRIVIA

Parks and Recreation Trivia

We’ve gone on record in the past with our belief that, barring some type of unforeseen circumstances, we literally could not possibly be beaten at “The Office” trivia. You might have thought that meant that “The Office” was our drug of choice, the only show on which we would binge, night after night, day after day, week after week. But, like Andy trying to guess April’s favorite band, you’d be completely wrong. | Monday 7 pm. Free. Goose Island Brewhouse, 1002 Canal St. eventbrite.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | APRIL 4 - 11, 2019

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TUES APRIL 9

CHARITY

Stand Up For Parkinson’s

As per our normal Standard Operating Procedure: 100% of proceeds from this National Parkinson’s Disease Awareness month event go to benefit The Parkinson Council. We’ve all got at least one person in our lives who suffers from or has suffered from a chronic illness or disease like Parkinson’s. It can be difficult to laugh when a loved when is hurting, but sometimes laughing (And donating) is all you can do. | 6 pm. $30-$35. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St.

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY FILM

Behind the Screens

Open to current Temple students and alumni, as well as local filmmakers, film buffs, actors and arts organizations, this event focuses on underrepresented communities in the film industry. You’ll get a chance to network with some of the bigger names in the local scene, listen as a pair of panels discuss diversity and discover internships and opportunities in the industry.| 6:30 pm. Free. Temple Performing Arts Center, 1837 N. Broad St.

MUSIC

Shy Boys

We hadn’t heard of Shy Boys before this event came across our desk, so we decided to do a little Internet sleuthing. Next thing you know, we’re watching “Shy Ronnie” for the 23rd time, laughing maniacally at Rihanna and Andy Samberg and forgetting all about the world for a good long while. When we came to again sometime later, we found Shy Boys playing and, gotta be honest; it’s good. Real good. | 8 pm. $10. Boot & Saddle, 1131 S. Broad St. etix.com

temple.edu

facebook. com

DRINKS

Stoli Key West Cocktail Classic Tour

Who wants to win a trip to Key West? We’re gonna just assume that every hand is in the air. All you’ve gotta do; create the tastiest cocktail that’s ever been shaken or stirred. The first 100 people to RSVP to this wild, Stoli-infused event will get to try every cocktail, plus a free Stoli drink ticket. From there, it’s up to you to decide just how bright your Bar Star shines. | 8 pm. Free. Boxers, 1330 Walnut St. eventbrite.com

LGBTQ

30 Rock: Drag Queen Takeover

We think that this is going to be one hell of an evening and, thus, one hell of an event. Drag queens are amazing and beautiful and hilarious and “30 Rock” is, well, “30 Rock”; one of the funniest sitcoms of the last few decades. But that’s also what gives us pause. Who could be funnier/weirder/ more disgusting than the real Liz Lemon? Who can rock a suit and glass of scotch like Jack “Don’t Call Me Jimmy” Donaghy? And Tracy, well … ain’t no one can do it like Tracy Jordan does. Ain’t no one! | 7 pm. $17. L’Etage, 624 S. 6th St. eventbrite.com

MUSIC

Original Songwriters Open Mic

Being an unknown musician is tough. Sure, you get to travel around, playing shows, making people smile and laugh and clap their hands … assuming, of course, that you’re well known enough that people book you to play shows and will stop drinking or watching tv long enough to listen to your song. Mostly, people just want to hear what they know. But the true beauty, as it so often seems to be, is in the margins, the little hidden spaces, like this, that no one ever thinks about. | 7:30 pm. Free. SawTown Tavern, 4717 Princeton Ave. facebook.com

DISCUSSION

Civil Conversations: Religion & Media It’s not a connection most people probably make, but media plays an important role in our approach to and feelings toward religion. It plays an important role in how we feel about, well, everything, because it’s in everything, but this event shines a bright light on the relationship between media and religion specifically, and our collective religious literacy. | 6:30 pm. Free. Temple University, Klein College of Media and Communication, 2020 N. 13th St.

interfaithphil-adelphia.org DISCUSSION

Personal Finances for Artists Workshop

FOOD

Italian Cookies Pastry Workshop

Listen, you get to go home with a tray of delicious, freshly-baked Italian treats and if that’s not enough reason for you to check out this event then maybe we just weren’t meant to be friends … ok, sorry. We lost our cool there for a minute. Anyway, the cookies should probably be enough. But if they’re not, the fact that you get to learn the recipes and can make them later at home is just, well, icing on the cookie. | Tuesday 7 pm. $80. The Restaurant School at Walnut Hill College, 4207 Walnut St. walnuthil-lcollege.edu

APRIL 4 - 11, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

If it seems strange to you to have “artists” and “finances” in the same sentence, you’re not alone. The idea of being an artist - an actual artist, not a celebrity or a rich kid whose parents paid for them to have a gallery or a publishing deal - seems to fly in the face of most financial best practices; it’s simply not a sustainable way of life. Or is it … .| 6 pm. Free. The Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St. facebook.com

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CALENDAR

MUSIC

The Browning

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Self, I sure do love this electronic dance music, but there’s something missing. It’s just not quite as brutal as I’d prefer it to be.” Or, mayhaps you’ve thought at one time or another, “Self, I sure do love this deathcore music, but there’s something missing. It’s just not quite as groovy and dance-tastic as I’d prefer it to be.” Well, we hope you’re sitting down, because boy do we have the event for you. | Tuesday 6 pm. $15. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. ticketweb.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | APRIL 4 - 11, 2019

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CALENDAR

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WED MUSIC

The Cactus Blossoms

Based on the sound, you’d probably assume The Cactus Blossoms, aka brothers Page Burkum and Jack Torrey, were Nashville, Tennessee born and bred, their formative years spent steeped in the longstanding traditions of classic folk and outlaw country. But that’s not actually the case. Despite their intensely natural sound, the ease of their twang, these two ballad bandits are Middle America, through and through. Oh, and they’ve appeared in “Twin Peaks.” | Wednesday 9 pm. $15. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St. ticketfly.com

APRIL 10

THEATER

Slayher! Philly’s Only All Metal Drag Show

Tattooed Mom, you’ve done it again! Seriously, Mom’s is already one of our go-tos for weekly awesome and often uplifting events. But they may have just upped the ante to a whole new level with this Drag Queen metal show featuring Stepdad, Lorna Doom, Plexie Glass and more of your favorite queens. Who knew being this brutal could be this beautiful? | 8 pm. Prices vary. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. facebook.com CHARITY

PARTY

Silent Party

We haven’t been to one of these Silent Dance Parties yet, but we’re psyched to finally find out if the hubbub matches the reality (We know for a fact that it does, but it’s always best to confirm stuff like this firsthand). Like a silent elementary school dance (Do they even have those?) on steroids, all you’ve gotta do is choose Red, Green or Blue, and then let the soothing sounds of whatever the heck those DJs are spinning carry you off into the night. | Wednesday 8 pm. $15. Lucky Strike, 1336 Chestnut St. facebook.com

Black Dog Gallery Benefit Show For Planned Parenthood

This is gonna be a big ol’ art and music showcase, and you’re on the guest list (So is everyone else, but we just wanted to make sure you felt included). As always, the most important bit: Proceeds go to benefit Planned Parenthood. The other important bits: featuring Aster More, The Audry Two, E. Grizzly, Mind Erase Her, Wormtooth and a whole lot more artists and makers. | 5 pm. $5. Boot & Saddle, 1131 S. Broad St. etix.com

APRIL 4 - 11, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

DATING

LGBT Speed Dating: Ages 22-39

The time when the snow and rain starts to dry up, the sun soars high in the sky and all those good feelings you had about your significant other evaporate like, well, snow and rain in the sun. If you’re part of the LGBT community and looking to leave your pointless Winter coupling behind, this is the event for you. | 7 pm. $30. ThirstyDice, 1642 Fairmount Ave. eventbrite.com ARTS

The Art of Art Collection Happy Hour

Buying art that fits both the form and function of your home and personage is just one such “art”; sure, you may not be making anything, but you’re collecting, arranging and displaying in a what that’s meant to mean something. If it’s an art, you can learn to do it better. | 5:30 pm. Free. InLiquid, 1400 N. American St. Suite 314. eventbrite.com

THUR APRIL 11

MUSIC

Jai Wolf

The EDM scene in New York must be straight poppin’ based on the purely anecdotal evidence we collect while creating this calendar. Jai Wolf is just the next step on what seems an unendingly awesome evolution. Jai sprung onto the scene with bangers like “Indian Summer” and “Like It’s Over,” the irony of course

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY being that Jai aka Mr. Wolf just seems to be getting started. | 7:30 pm. $20. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. etix.com FESTIVAL

Spring Fling 2019

Three awesome parties. Three epic days. Spring Fling 2019 is set to ring in the new season with a whole boatload of rumba rhythm. From Recess Lounge to Field House to Stats on 17th, this conga line’s got the beat and it ain’t stoppin’ til’ it’s five miles long (Just kidding … we think). And if you manage to miss out on Thursday’s festivities, don’t worry; there’s a whole slew of sweaty, rhythmic events going down from the 11th to the 13th. | 10 pm. $10-$40. Locations vary.

PARTY

Out Come the Wolves Punk/ Ska Dance Party

Rancid, NOFX, The Ramones, Blink 182, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Jeff Rosenstock, The Specials, Bad Religion, MxPx, Alkaline Trio, Voidoids, Anti Nowhere League, Reel Big Fish, Green Day, Millencolin, The Clash, Screeching Weasel, Dead Kennedys, Goldfinger … (deep inhale) ... Less Than Jake, The Specials, The Offspring, Descendents, The Bouncing Souls,, Save Ferris, MC5, Jawbreaker, Weston, Dropkick Murphys … and more. | 10 pm. Prices vary. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave.

EVENT

Philly Song Jawn

Welp, it’s got “jawn” in the title so we’re already huge fans. Honestly, the rest of the event could involve mocking Gritty and playing pin the police summons on the North Philly zombie and we’d still be into it. Thankfully for us - and the North Philly zombies - this event is less about angst or anger, and way more about songs and silliness. The tunes might be familiar, but the lyrics at this event are definitely not. | 8 pm. $5-$10. Philly Improv Theater, 2030 Sansom St.

MUSIC

Wharton Battle of the Bands UPenn’s campus may not transform into Southern California anytime soon, but that doesn’t mean they can’t recreate the pomp and privilege (Just kidding! We think … ) of the Biggest and Bougiest Music Festival in the World, aka Coachella. The real stars of this event will be the seven bands (And a professor!) rockin’ your UPenn swag right off your beat-matchin’ booty. | 7 pm. $35-$65. Theatre of the Living Arts, 334 South St.

LGBTQ

The Connect: An LGBTQ Hangout

We could all use a friend. A confidant. Someone who understands that, even as we complain

about ourselves, our lives, we don’t necessarily need commiseration; we need support. Understanding. An appreciation for the struggles we face on a day to day, year to year basis.

For the LGBTQ community, Qunify seeks to provide just that. Join them at Trolley Car Station on Thursday for an evening of drinks, networking and, most importantly, friendship. | 5:30 pm. Free. Trolley Car Station, 3940 Baltimore Ave. facebook.com

wharton.upenn.edu

eventbrite.com

facebook.com

eventbrite.com

CHARITY

Beers N’ Bulldogs

The Most Important of Informational Bits: $1 from every Evil Genius beer sold will go toward helping the American Bulldog Rescue. Also, you can actually adopt American Bulldogs here, which is awesome. As for the rest of it, well, we’re willing to bet it’s going to be a bully time (We mean bully in the informal and, in all honesty, out of date sense of very good or excellent). By the way, you know how a joke is really, really good? When you have to explain it to the audience (By the way, that was also a joke … ahem). |Thursday 6 pm. Prices vary. Evil Genius Beer Company, 1727 N. Front St. facebook.com Photo courtesy of @machotraps

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | APRIL 4 - 11, 2019

THE

BIG

PICTURE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Q: I’m an a trans attr Tumblr blo since all ad Tumblr. It the things ings and an wild anima women. So top surgery all of the blog had p sidered a r woman bef the blog fo say I’d do it I would non-op tra many tran ing their acknowledg that a trans functioning female hor sidered the on somebo How can I m is hopefull male parts ship? I live Belt state— uneducated – Girl’s H

Morning glory

We don’t know many things better than a Center City sunrise. What we do know is that this shot of Center City looking east is absolutely spectacular and yet another gem from Philadelphia-based photographer Heidi Wiley. Follow Wiley's photo tour of Philly via Instagram at @hswphilly.

“My pe ‘man’s pa the three-t transgende mine. I own man.” In f being woef something and again. an doesn’t h unique gir parts just th “I’m on great,” said to be differ and that’s t GHMP. We are all bein Treat any interested i As for pl might be u might want ty shocking and I have even help

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

SAVAGE LOVE

Parts and Parting Q: I’m an adult man, and I have developed bodies in a respectful way,” said Jay. “And finding a trans woman to date who hasn’t una trans attraction after following a particular dergone bottom surgery is pretty easy. The Tumblr blog. That blog is now gone, sadly, surgery is expensive and even scary to some. since all adult content has been purged from It’s not terribly common that a trans woman Tumblr. It wasn’t just porn; it consisted of all has had that particular surgery.” the things I really enjoy—images of oil paintBut just because a trans woman hasn’t had ings and antique furniture, scenic landscapes, wild animals, and then pictures/gifs of trans bottom surgery doesn’t mean she doesn’t want bottom surgery, so you shouldn’t assume a women. Some women appeared to have had trans woman with a penis plans to top surgery while others didn’t. But always keep her penis. all of the women featured on this “The real question is what her reblog had penises. I had never conlationship is with her current genisidered a relationship with a trans tals,” said Jay. woman before, but after browsing “Maybe she’s very dysphoric the blog for a year, I can honestly about them. Maybe she doesn’t even say I’d do it in a heartbeat. want you to see them or touch them. I would actually like to date a Even if her body is your preference, non-op trans woman. I know that there’s a chance it isn’t hers. I permany trans women don’t like havsonally love my penis and even like ing their male parts touched or talking about it. But bringing up acknowledged, but I didn’t know genitals right away can make you that a trans woman can only have a seem insensitive or like you’re defunctioning penis if she isn’t taking humanizing your date.” female hormones, and I hadn’t conJay recommends looking for sidered the effect that might have @FAKEDANSAVAGE trans women on mainstream dating on somebody’s gender dysphoria. apps and then following their lead. How can I meet a trans woman who “Now, genitals and curt sexuis hopefully comfortable with her al dialogue are kind of my jam,” male parts and seeking a relationsaid Jay, “so I wouldn’t even flinch ship? I live in a conservative Bible or blush. But this can be a very Belt state—Utah—and I am woefully charged subject for people.” uneducated on this subject. Look to the profiles of trans – Girl’s Heart, Man’s Parts women you’re interested in for cues about their approach to personal “My penis and balls aren’t subjects. One woman might put it ‘man’s parts,’” said Bailey Jay, all out there and welcome questions the three-time AVN award-winning about her experiences as a trans transgender porn star. “They’re woman; another woman might be mine. I own them. Not some random man.” In fairness, GHMP, you acknowledge open about being trans but prefer not to focus on it. being woefully uneducated on trans issues, “Still, never use genital questions as an icesomething your letter demonstrated again and again. But let’s start here: A trans wom- breaker,” said Jay. “You’ll know when your evening with someone is going well enough an doesn’t have boy parts. She has girl parts— unique girl parts, as girl parts go, but girl that there’s a certain amount of trust,” and at that point, you may be able to bring it up. And parts just the same. “I’m on hormones and my cock works please make sure to talk about both of your bodies. great,” said Jay. “Every trans woman is going This isn’t all about if her body is right for to be different and have different experiences, you. Make sure your body meets her stanand that’s the best first bit of advice I can give GHMP. We can smell it a mile away when we dards and preferences, too. I always joke that are all being lumped in together as a concept. cis men should have to disclose as well. Any expectation you find yourself putting on her, Treat any trans woman you’re romantically split the responsibility.” interested in as an individual.” As for places to find trans individuals who THERE’S ALWAYS MORE might be up for dating cis men, well, you SAVAGE TO LOVE! might want to sit down, GHMP, as this is pretty shocking. “I’ve heard OkCupid is inclusive, Read: PhillyWeekly.com and I have friends on there whose profiles Have a question?: even help people navigate discussing their mail@savagelove.net

DAN SAVAGE

“I’m on hormones and my cock works great,”

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General Employment

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REAL ESTATE SALE General Employment

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Real Estate for Sale

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117 LOMBARD ST SOCIETY HILL $1,150,000 • 4 Bedrooms + office • 3.5 Baths • 2800 sq ft • 20 x 81

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An exquisite four-story historical residence! Circa 1724 located in Society Hill. Thoughtfully and meticulously restored by the current owners. Enter into a warm and inviting foyer which leads to a bright and lovely side office with 3 windows and a fireplace. The formal living room features a wall of glass surround overlooking the multilevel, breathtaking garden, planned and designed by a horticultural architect – it could easily rival any garden in the city (the pictures say it all). There is abundant light and windows throughout this lovely space plus a set of atrium doors which open onto the juliet balcony (perfect for morning tea). The gardens are perfectly set for relaxing, dining al fresco or dinner parties (about the fountain, naiad,

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Conway Team Patrick Conway 215-266-1537 Kathy Conway 215-850-3842 Society Hill Office • 215.627.6005 Please visit us online at www.conwayteam.com

one of a few reproductions, the design of the sculpture is attributed to a sketch of a reclining water nymph by John Bacon, RA circa 1770, which relates to a classical figure, usually called cleopatra, in the vatican). The sun-drenched twostory kitchen is bright and spacious, custom cabinetry, marble counter-tops and designer backsplash. The formal dining room is lovely with a beautiful chandelier. There is also a powder room on this level. The entire front room of this floor is a huge butlers pantry room/summer kitchen, generous cabinetry & storage, refrigerator, laundry area, mechanicals + an access door to the outside. The second level: a beautiful graceful staircase with a window in the landing lends good natural light. There are two lovely bedrooms on this level, 2 beautiful baths, good closet space and great light. The third level - entire

main suite. The two-story front room is currently used as a den / library / sitting room. The main bedroom is beautiful with 2 windows overlooking the garden and an exquisite spa marble bath, double vanity, quartz tops with an abundance of built in drawers and storage space. Also, a separate frameless glass shower. The cherry on the top of the main suite is the entire 4th floor – a custom fitted closet room with a window allowing natural light and a door leading to the attic space with lots of extra storage. About the neighborhood: the best. Second to none. Convenient and beautiful. Close to restaurants, coffee shops, Head House Square, Ritz Theaters and of course farmers market. The owners are offering a one-year prepaid parking at the garage a half block away. This home is in the McCall catchment.

Anne E. Koons

ACCREDITED LUXURY HOME SPECIALIST Licensed in NJ & PA

The #1 Agent of the Cherry Hill Home Marketing Center 2018, 2017, 2016, 2014, 2013 & 2012 NJAR Circle of Excellence PLATINUM Award 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2012,GOLD 2014, 2013

Direct 856-795-4709 office 856-428-8000 ext. 142

New Price

Merchantville Beautiful 3 Story Grand Victorian has 8 Bedrooms, 3.5 f baths located in the heart of town. The first floor has 12 ft ceilings, formal living room w/fireplace, parlor, dining rm, family rm & kitchen, crown molding, hardwood floors, gorgeous wood staircase and banisters with a cover front porch .This home has an updated heating system, full unfinished basement, a 2 car detached garage on almost an acre of property. Property is being sold in as is condition. $319,900.

Marlton/Mayfair At Evesham Beautiful, well maintained 4 bedroom, 2.5 baths, 2 car garage w/finished basement located in a great neighborhood. The Kitchen has hardwood floors, granite counter-tops, newer stainless steal appliances & patio doors to large stamped concrete patio. The master bedroom suite has been freshly painted with a large WIC. This home is a must see & In Move In Condition. $422,000.

Longport/Ocean Plaza 2 Bedroom 2 bath condo with living room, dining room & a balcony with ocean views is available for the season. Spend the summer down the shore in the luxurious condo that offers one parking spot, access to the building pool & walking distance from downtown Margate Seasonal Rental $27,000

Cherry Hill/ Europa Designer touches abound in this stunning open floor plan rancher, 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom, with 2 addition-al large bedroom size rooms downstairs in finished basement, one attached to full bathroom, other adjoining family room. Rare to find rancher, very desirable neighborhood in heart of Cherry Hill. $429,900

Cherry Hill/ Wilderness Run Beautifully updated 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, 3 car garage home that flows seamlessly from one room to the next, it's elegant, bright and spacious. Designer kitchen, with professional appliances. The master bedroom suite has a wonder-fully updated bath w/a free standing tub, glass enclosed shower w/decorative tiles, floating double vanities with marble tops and make up area, there are 3 walk in closets and patio doors to a private balcony. $670,000.

Cherry Hill/ Short Hills This magnificent Coventry Model has an open floor plan, 4 bedrooms, 4.5 Baths, 3 car garage, 1st floor office, double staircases, full finished basement. The custom eat in kitchen has center island with breakfast bar, and extra windows allowing plenty of light. Large custom backyard with paver patio & fire pit. $699,900.

Cherry Hill/ Short Hills 4 Bedroom ,3.5 Bath with finished basement, master bedroom suite with sitting room, first floor office, 2 car garage situated on a cult-de-sac located in the desirable neighborhood of Short Hills. Hardwood floors can be found in the foyer and flow through the living rm, dining rm and kitchen. The family room has over sized windows, gas fireplace. The home is freshly painted w/newer carpet and an open floor plan $574,000.

Moorestown/Miller Court Beautiful custom home on a private cul-de-sac with over 8,800 Sq. Ft of living space & a 3 car garage. This gorgeous new construction has a walkout basement, 10 ft ceilings on both floors, elevator, 2 staircases and a large gourmet kitchen. There are 5 bedrooms 5.5 baths, 1st floor office and 2nd floor playroom, 2 story family Rm, extensive trim and molding work through-out.$2,895,000

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO STEVEN, NICOLE & JOSH………...

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EXPERIENCE, COMMITMENT, PASSION & KNOWLEDGE to help you in selling or buying a home.

CALL OUR AUNT ANNE TODAY FOR ALL OF YOUR REAL ESTATE NEEDS 856 -795-4709

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 21 - 28, 2019

REAL ESTATE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY Sold - Graduate Hospital

Open Saturday 12 - 2 829 S. 2nd Street

This 4,500+ square feet, ultra modern, luxury home features floor to ceiling windows and a central atrium for a dramatic architectural effect. The first floor features an open concept living and dining room with gas fireplace and gorgeous hardwood floors. The stunning, spacious master suite occupies the entire third floor and has its own private balcony. With garage parking, 7 years left on the tax abatement, and 2 wonderful outdoor spaces. 3 BR | 3.5 BA

Be charmed by this lovingly maintained 4-story, historic home with red brick fireplace, original hardwood floors, vintage chair rail moulding and inspiring dormer windowed 4th floor office/bedroom. The main floor features a working fireplace, a modern kitchen with tall breakfast bar and access to a private back patio. 3 Bedrooms | 2 Bathrooms

$400,000

New Price Washington Square

$1,550,000 New Price Grays Ferry

Bright and airy 1 bed, 1 bath south-facing condo, just blocks from Washington Square. Enjoy beautiful views, 10 ft ceilings and tall windows. Hardwood floors, a renovated kitchen with gas cooking and an updated bathroom. Great location in a doorman building and parking on-site available for additional fee.

Welcome to this beautiful renovation! The main floor features a living room with recessed lighting, hardwood flooring, and a new updated kitchen with granite countertops, new cabinets, and stainless steel appliances. Freshly painted throughout. Full basement with plenty of extra storage space. The backyard is great for outdoor entertaining. 3 BR | 1.5 BA

$409,500

$210,000

Under Contract Powelton Village

New Listing Graduate Hospital

A unique business and lifestyle opportunity awaits at the Cornerstone, a solidly performing Bed & Breakfast, an elegant c.1870 Victorian manse replete with tunning woodwork, stain glass windows, impressive staircase, 12’ ceilings, ornate fireplaces, pocket doors, bay windows and much more. The Inn offers 5 guest rooms all with bathrooms and a 2 BR guest suite with living room and bathroom, and owners’ quarters.

This renovated 4 BR | 2.5 BA home occupies a quiet block! This bright end unit has additional windows and provides a lot of natural light. The first floor features a large open concept living and dining area with hardwood floors. The kitchen has granite counters and stainless appliances. Beyond the kitchen, a spacious patio is perfect for entertaining.

$599,000

$1,295,000

The Damon Michels Team

TWILIGHT OPEN HOUSE

“Specializing in MainLine & Center City” Damon Michels Damon@DamonMichels.com 275 Homes www.DamonMichels.com Sold in 2017

1 Lombard Mews—Gated Community! 812 Lombard St., Phila, PA 19147

610.668.3400 MAIN LINE SUBURBS

Thursday, April 4, 2019 : 5pm—7pm 3 Bed , 3 Bath, 1600sf

The William Penn House Center City Living!

RENT : $3,600/mo. Fabulous Outdoor Deck! Hardwood Floors Throughout All 3 Levels! Meet Agent at Gate or Call: 215-888-8500 1351 BOBARN DRIVE, PENN VALLEY

Bryant & Wilde Realty, LLC

5 BED | 4.1 BATH | 6,647 SQ FT | $1,149,000

210 W. Rittenhouse Sq.  Suite 405  Phila., PA 19103 Www.BryantWildeRealty.com  sales@bryantwilderealty.com

NEW LISTINGS 

Fax: 215.644.8826

Diane Bryant: 610.529.8000  Margie Wilde : 215.888.8500  Office: 215.893.6100

Anne E. Koons The #1 Agent of the Cherry Hill Home Marketing Center 2018, 2017, 2016, 2014, 2013 & 2012 NJAR Circle of Excellence PLATINUM Award 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2012,GOLD 2014, 2013 Direct 856-795-4709 office 856-428-8000 ext. 142 Website: www.annekoonsrealestate.com Akoonsbhhs@gmail.com

827 W King Road, Malvern

Includes real estate tax • No transfer tax

1205 Chermar Ln, Penn Valley 5 BED | 4.1 BATH | 3,356 SQ FT | $874,000

8201 Fenton Road, Glenside

239 Trianon Ln, Villanova

6 BED | 5.2 BATH | 8,645 SQ FT | $800,000

200 Price Ave, Unit#4, Narbeth

4 BED | 2 BATH | 1,296 SQ FT | $325,000

3 BED | 3.1 BATH | 3,038 SQ FT | $835,000

3 BED | 3.2 BATH | $498,700

200 S Narberth Ave, Narberth

503 Kingsley Court, Unit#LOT 2, Philadelphia

2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,302 SQ FT | $290,000

JUST REDUCED 207 Lindy Ln, Bala Cynwyd

3 BED | 4.1 BATH | 4,217 SQ FT | $689,900

11 Dyanna Lane

MULTI-FAMILY | $749,000

625 Fariston Drive, Wynnewood

4523 Baker St, Philadelphia 4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 2,240 SQ FT | $325,000

4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 3,114 SQ FT | $589,000

403 Merion Hill Road, West Conshohocken 4 BED | 3.1 BATH | 3,637 SQ FT | $535,000

420 Darby Road, Havertown

3 BED | 1 BATH | 1,258 SQ FT | $359,000

1211 Mirabeau Ln, Gladwyne

COMMERCIAL | 1.1 BATH | 1,686 SQ FT | $325,000

6 BED | 8.2 BATH | 9,923 SQ FT | $3,850,000

1309 Summer Hill Lane, Gladwyne 4 BED | 4.3 BATH | 6,465 SQ FT | $3,195,000

1461 Lanes End, Villanova 5 BED | 4.3 BATH | 7,322 SQ FT | $1,950,000

1124 Youngsford Rd, Gladwyne 5 BED | 4.3 BATH | 6,144 SQ FT | $1,499,000

34 Sandringham Rd, Bala Cynwyd 5 BED | 5.3 BATH | 5,217 SQ FT | $1,095,000

1417 Centennial Rd, Penn Valley 5 BED | 3.1 BATH | 4,371 SQ FT | $899,000

4 BED | 3.1 BATH | 2,400 SQ FT | $488,370

256 Wiltshire Road, Wynnewood

3 BED | 1.1 BATH | 1,686 SQ FT | $325,000

1320 Monk Rd, Gladwyne

501 Kingsley Court, Unit#LOT 1, Philadelphia

4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 2,202 SQ FT | $649,000

420 Darby Road, Havertown

6 BED | 8.3 BATH | 15,317 SQ FT | $3,950,000

MARCH 21 - 28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

6 BED | 4.1 BATH | 3,725 SQ FT $689,000

108 W Spring Ave, Unit #16, Ardmore

1005 Barr Ln, Gladwyne

Cherry Hill/ Fox Hollow Woods This beautiful home is located in quiet neighbor-hood with 4 Bedrooms, 2.5 Baths, Sunroom, office, finished basement, located on a private cul-de-sac, in-ground pool, wood deck, brick patios & walkways with gorgeous landscaping. The large eat in kitchen has granite tops, breakfast bar and stainless steel appliances. Newer Brazilian cherry fls in living, dining rm and foyer. $559,900.

5860 WOODBINE AVE PHILADELPHIA

$200,000 to $300,000 $300,000 to $400,000 $400,000 to $500,000 $500,000 to $600,000

4 BED | 3.1 BATH | 3,443 SQ FT | $839,000

1637 Oakwood Drive, Unit #S213, Narberth

ACCREDITED LUXURY HOME SPECIALIST Licensed in NJ & PA

Studios 1 Bedrooms 2 Bedrooms 3 Bedrooms

5 BED | 3.1 BATH | 2,950 SQ FT | $790,000

3 BED | 2.1 BATH | 2,218 SQ FT | $425,000

Cherry Hill/Villagio Stunning 3 Bedroom, 3 bath, 1st floor Master Bedroom Suite, large eat in Kitchen with a 2-car garage located in the quiet 55+ community of Villagio. This home has HW floors, office, formal living and dining rm, family rm and has been meticulously maintained. $599,000

CENTER CITY PHILA.

Rittenhouse Square • Rooftop Pool • Fitness Center• Valet Parking • 24 Hr Security 24 Hr Maintenance

CONDO LIVING 191 Presidential Boulevard,t #824-25, Bala Cynwyd 2 BED | 2 BATH | 2,100 SQ FT | $369,000

1750 Oakwood Ter, Unit#1A, Penn Valley 2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,299 SQ FT | $227,000

1655 Oakwood Drive, Unit#N103, Penn Valley 1 BED | 1 BATH | 858 SQ FT | $145,000

1030 E Lancaster Avenue, Unit #304, Bryn Mawr 1 BED | 1 BATH | 700 SQ FT | $128,000

2000 Valley Forge Cir, Unit#36, King of Prussia STORAGE UNIT | $12,000

1901 JOHN F KENNEDY BLVD, PHILDELPHIA

Unit#2521/2 3 BED | 3 BATH | 1,906 SQ FT | $950,000

1 BED | 1 BATH | 606 SQ FT | $255,000

Unit#1819

1 BED | 1 BATH | 606 SQ FT | $249,000

Unit #1512

STUDIO | 1 BATH | 475 SQ FT | $200,000

Unit#2911

STUDIO | 1 BATH | 522 SQ FT | $184,900

Unit#2816

STUDIO | 1 BATH | 517 SQ FT | $175,000

Unit#710

STUDIO | 1 BATH | 475 SQ FT | $150,000

REALESTATE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 21 - 28, 2019

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