Philadelphia Weekly | January 9 – 16, 2020

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Philly strippers tired of getting screwed Outta here! Icepack mourns the loss of three Philly hot spots | Page 12

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FROM THE EDITOR

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wo years ago, I wrote the following president Darrell Clarke referred to it first column entitled “Deep Roots” that as racist, but then relented still calling the you’ll read below. It came after an performance “minstrelsy.” Asa Khalif, who instance of Blackface at the Mumruns the Philadelphia chapter of Black Lives mers caused an uproar.

Matter – for better or worse – has been one of One that we all thought would the most outspoken advocates on reform as it eradicate this as a problem. pertains to police treatment of Black Philly What’s astonishing is that two years latand has announced his candidacy for a City Council seat. This week, on his platform site, er, thanks to the events of this year’s parade, nothing’s changed, making it so I can literal- Asa4Council.com, he called for the city to end the Mummers, calling it, “decades of racist inly run a reminder because of the density of sults to our city’s People of Color and citizens some people and a sheer lack of insensitivity. of conscience.”

Enjoy.

To me, it’s always been right up there with -----I know I’m a week late to the party piling on the now-defunct chicken wing eating, stripdebate of what was yet another Mummers Pa- per-laden, early morning debacle that was Wing Bowl. I think in large part because every rade mired in controversy. year the Mummers Parade is realHowever, given our publication’s ly an exercise in learning just how namesake, I think that offers a pass. much the need for diversity and inI actually wasn’t going to even clusion training in this city is parjump on the bandwagon, until I saw amount. But we also need to hold all of the reports that emerged from accountable the politicians, activthe Jim Kenney-Jay-Z skit that had ists, journalists and others who are “Black Philly” in uproar. If you’re quick to pull race into the equation. lost on what I’m referring to, the Let’s try to leave the easy pull of quick synopsis is that many feel that the race card in 2018 and look to be a skit during the parade that depicta bit more strategic and overarched a Black man dressed as Jay-Z ing in our opinions in 2019. It’s just walking a another actor dressed as too easy to condemn something as Jim Kenney was just the latest in a racist or insensitive because it uplong line of racially charged minsets our delicate sensibilities. Darrel strel shows the Mummers Parade Young did nothing wrong. Neither has a long and unsavory history of. @SPRTSWTR did the Finnegan’s New Year BriLet me just preface this by saygade. But it’s their membership into ing I think the Mummers Parade can’t win. No matter how inclusive it tries to a group that is a storied reminder of Philadelphia’s deep-rooted racist past and the underbe in its satire, the whole parade in the eyes of tones that are still ever-apparent in the presmany just comes off as a reminder that in the ent. low-lying pockets of Philadelphia there are Did I as a Black man think the performance still some people who still see minorities as exactly that. Personally, I’ve always felt that it’s was racist? No. I thought the premise lacked a true explaone of the dumbest traditions our city has. I equate it to standing in cages to watch the ball nation, since I’m sure 99 percent (Jay-Z pun drop in Times Square for New Year’s Eve. It’s intended) of the people who saw it had no something you should experience, but once idea that it’s arguably now one of the most you’re there and see it firsthand, you quickly memorable cartoons by Inquirer cartoonist realize it only placates to a certain type of per- Signe Wilkinson. No one lost their mind when Wilkinson, a white woman, drew the cartoon son. and her publication published it, but the 3-D In Philly, this last Mummers skit served as a sequin-donned reminder that despite all the portrayal of two men of different races recreating the illustration rubs a lot of people the talk, we are far from equal in a city that prides itself on being progressive. There’s just still wrong way?

It’s because it’s not about the skit. It’s the too many who live here who miss the “Old Philadelphia.” The one that allegedly dressed fact of what the Mummers represents to a unsuspecting Black children up to portray Philadelphia trying to become more progressive. monkeys. Or the 2015 image of the white The Mummers Parade is an annual remindMummer defiant in his wearing of Blackface er that we still have a long way to go. despite it being pretty apparent that the use of That isn’t the best way to get Philadelphia face paint offended people in 2015. in the right frame to kickstart the year with It’s why so many people jumped the gun with this skit, coincidentally, many of whom rosy outlook.

Even if some literally try to paint it on their have vigorously defended how African-Americans are portrayed in this city. Council face.

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020

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STATE OF OUR CITY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY That's where Philadelphia ranks in terms of rental costs among U.S. cities as of Jan. 1, according to an independent study by rental site Zumper.com. The average monthly rent for a one-bedroom in the city hovers around $1,500, while two-bedrooms are $1,640.

While Philly keeps climbing, it’s still miles away from 1-95 homie New York ($3,000) and San Francisco, which asks $3,500 for the average one-bedroom apartment. To which we say, GTFOH, bruh!

STATE CITY We can hook you up with $1,000 OF OUR

Well, sort of. We’ve partnered with Bold.org, which is offering a $1,000 local journalism grant to local high school and college journalism students who want to create a piece of content on something big that affects city residents. As an alternative weekly, we’ve aligned to say the weirder, the better, or the important story affecting Philly that is being missed completely. We’ve aligned to say that if Bold. org picks you, we’ll publish your piece, or run your content on our site. All of the instructions on how to apply for the grant are on the bold.org website. Deadline to register is Jan. 31. Excited to see what you got, Philly.

17

OLE H S S A

Crystal balls We received a letter just before New Year’s Day from a reader named Zaire Prince chastising the Mummers Parade, calling it “hands down the worst of Philly.”

We ran it in the Voices pages of our Jan. 2 issue but thought Prince might have gone a little too far until we saw that image of Froggy Carr Mummer Kevin Kinkel. Listening to Kinkel explain his reasoning, it’s obvious he was too dense to understand the severity of his choices, but we’re more astonished that Prince proved his words to be completely true. Impressive.

This is

RACIST Image: NBC10 screenshot

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STATE OF OUR CITY

HE SAID IT...

“Yes, you heard that right, every neighborhood … which will even require folks to move their cars... if you don’t want to move your car, tough.”

— Mayor Jim Kenney to reporters following Monday’s announcement regarding city-wide street cleaning and the efforts to get fully down city blocks. With saying that, we know Kenney just pissed off all of South Philadelphia, Fishtown, parts of the Northeast and any other Philadelphian who has the fold-out chairs or stolen PECO cones by the door ready to mark “their spot.”

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Clean streets for everyone As he celebrated his second term inside the Met Philadelphia Monday, one of the latest decrees from Mayor Jim Kenney was that, in an effort to curb the city of the insane amount of trash on her streets, there is now citywide street cleaning. Sounds fantastic, except the mayor missed two huge things about street sweeping. Many of the outlying neighborhoods in Philadelphia are undergoing rampant development. So to clean said streets will there be water usage to control the amount of toxic dust just using a blower – especially on smaller streets – will assuredly drum up? Second, the plan of attack for those smaller streets? Using blowers? Yeesh. Hard suggestion, Jim? Take this one back to the drawing board.

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OVERHEARD IN PHILLY

“If Josh McCown leads [the Eagles] to this playoff victory, Carson Wentz is going to have to check himself into a psych ward.”

– Some club level bathroom chatter during the Eagles-Seahawks NFC Wild Card game at Lincoln Financial Field, Sunday. McCown came close, but the Eagles’ came up just short following the 17-9 final. Still, McCown’s efforts made him beloved with fans and probably gave Wentz a bit of deja vu (see Nick “Big Dick” Foles) to go with his concussion.

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Used and

abused Tired of being exploited by clubs and customers, local strippers fight back

BY TIMAREE SCHMIT

SEE STRIPPERS, PAGE 8

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STRIPPERS, FROM PAGE 7

But the solution is more complicated than simply changing employment status. pole, six-inch heels, and a masWhether strippers should be classified as sive pile of cash. Think of “strip- employees or independent contractors is one per money,” and there’s an image of the most contentious issues in the indusof a nearly naked woman rolling try. Some states, like California, have changed around in an entire month’s rent. the way employees are defined, impacting And to a degree, that image is aceveryone from strippers to barbers, journalcurate. ists and dog walkers. The aim was to ensure But what few outside the industry realize is businesses were responsible for payroll taxes exactly how much of that cash the dancer gets and workers received benefits like insurance, to keep or what they endure to make it. vacation and right to unionize. But when “Many are surprised to learn that exotdancers become employees, strip clubs started ic dancers not only don’t get paid an hourly taking a bigger cut of their wages, demanding wage, but just how much we pay to work,” exclusivity contracts, and even taking away says Mistress Lilith, a Philadelphia stripper, the freedom to decline patrons’ requests for dominatrix and activist. She says the rate to private dances. rent the stage in Philadelphia may range beAnd battling for workers’ rights isn’t the tween $20 to $80 per shift, with no guarantee only daunting part of the job. that they’ll make anything. “We also pay the “Verbal, physical and sexual harassment DJs, the house moms. Depending on the club, and assault by customers and management we may also tip out hosts or security staff, on happened regularly at every club,” says Mistop of cuts that are taktress Lilith. “One of the en from our sales.” worst periods was when Before dancers won I was dancing in South a lawsuit against it in Philly during the elec2018, the Penthouse tion of Trump, I dealt Club in Philadelphia with racism a lot as a required dancers to tip Latina. out nearly the entire “The first time I venue staff, including spoke out about workthe valet ... even if they ers’ rights was after I didn’t have a car. The had an experience at court ruled it had been a club where I was asimproperly labeling saulted and then fired,” dancers as independent she says. “The customcontractors in order to er even got a refund afcheat them out of wagter the incident. I was es. Similarly, according so traumatized that I to Mistress Lilith, dancdidn’t return to work ers recently won a class anywhere for a month.” action lawsuit against While experiences another local club, yet vary widely, several of – Local stripper Mistress Lilith many venues continue the dancers to whom the same exploitative PW spoke for this piece practices, often using worker classification as had terrifying on-the-job stories. an excuse.

“It’s a madhouse on a weekend night and While exotic entertainment is the primary for strippers who haven’t built up a tough reason for patrons to attend a strip club, many skin yet for self-preservation, (they) walk out dancers say they’re not treated like integral with trauma almost every night,” says Darparts of the business’s success. It’s unclear lina, a stripper who lives in Manayunk and what position they hold at all. has worked at three area clubs so far. She says Since they are given no set wage and do customers can be entitled and aggressive and not receive employment benefits, it would that, in her experience, “security is only in it imply dancers are independent contractors. for the occasional fist fight scenes, drama and Yet clubs also control them like employees, by free showings. setting requirements on how many hours they “You certainly can’t find them checking up work and when, saddling dancers with expen- on you when you’re stuck doing a VIP dance sive costume requirements, and even dictat- for an aggressive customer who thinks they ing whether they can chew gum or have a cell are getting third base for $250,” says the dancphone on the club floor. Violations of those er, who turned to strip clubs as a way to firules can result in punitive fines. nance her way through college. She also says Mistress Lilith, who has worked in nine security did nothing when a customer slapped clubs in and around Philly since 2014, says her while she was on stage, leaving a welt. these exploitative business practices “began Darlina says the club managers often don’t in the late 80s, early 90s” when so-called Gen- care about dancer safety and that when asked tlemen’s Clubs started using “the current confor support, “they respond by either threatentractor model. Before this, dancers were paid, ing termination or suggesting that a dancer or at least did not pay to work.” find a different place to work. They typically

A

“The first time I spoke out about workers’ rights was after I had an experience at a club where I was assaulted and then fired.

The customer even got a refund after the incident. I was so traumatized that I didn't return to work anywhere for a month.”

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s isn’t the

arassment nagement says MisOne of the was when g in South the elecp, I dealt a lot as a

time I out workas after I rience at I was ashen fired,” e customrefund afent. I was ed that I to work a month.” xperiences several of to whom this piece

night and p a toughare not open for recommendations.” ) walk out Her managers might partially be right, says Dar-in that a stripper could have a more positive yunk andexperience at another club. Several dancers r. She sayscited wildly varying levels of respect and acessive andcountability from venue to venue. only in it “I really feel safe where I work, but...they drama andare not perfect,” says AN, who has been involved in burlesque and club stripping for ecking upeight years on and off. She says she’s been able VIP danceto assert her rights to management, but many inks theydancers can’t navigate the system as easily. the danc-Her club is one of only a few where dancers way to fi-have access to their contracts, but she says also saysit “clearly only functions to protect the club er slappedfrom lawsuits over labor rights. welt.

“From what I hear, some other clubs in often don’tPhilly exploit girls for money at every chance hen askedthey get with illegal fees and forced sharing threaten-of tips. Security at another club told a dancer a dancerfriend he wouldn’t hear her scream for help y typicallyunless she tipped him $50.”

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Agony, an ex-stripper who worked at multiple clubs in Canada, has had mixed experiences as well. She says, “They were overall OK, but I’d say my best experiences were in the Ottawa clubs: the managers were pretty much absent, the schedule was VERY flexible (when there was one at all) and the girls had almost complete freedom over what they could wear or do on stage.”

Even in that comparatively idyllic context, she was troubled by the common unsafe practice of full nude lap dances and the difficulty arising from sharing workspace with “the abundance of girls doing extras.”

She also added, “I started having body dysmorphia while working in Montréal because managers would constantly tell me I was too fat or not pretty enough.”

Agony’s experience with body-shaming is not uncommon, and along with racism and

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020

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STRIPPERS, FROM PAGE 9 colorism, can present a huge boundary in dancers’ options for where they can work.

Switching to a more supportive club may not be an option for everyone.

“Most clubs also have very discriminatory hiring practices,” says Mistress Lilith, “The type of dancer that is guaranteed to be hired at most clubs regardless of experience or skills are young, thin, conventionally presenting white women. Dancers of color, different body types and presentations, and openly queer or trans individuals will have fewer options.”

“The only real rule in a strip club is ‘don’t fuck with the money,’” confirms long-time security staffer Chris. He’s worked at clubs in multiple states and says, “Anything sufficiently profitable will generally be tolerated as long as plausible deniability can be maintained. Essentially, the entire business model

JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

is to create the highest-energy, least-rational environment possible, then extract as much cash as possible from the compromised customers without the whole thing tipping over and blowing up. Maintaining the balance is largely security’s job.”

Given this is the reality, why do so many people still gravitate toward the industry?

Most dancers cite the flexibility of hours and potential to make a lot more money than they would at a less-stigmatized job.

“As a bartender in Philly, I was often objectified by inappropriate customers while being trapped behind the bar, and as an employee I had to be nice or lose my job,” says AN, who has now worked at two clubs and is largely satisfied with her career as a stripper.

“I didn’t want to be forced to grit through bad behavior in the name of customer service anymore, and I wanted to be compensated for...tolerating this behavior that I encounter from men regardless of where I work.

“I wanted control of my life, my money, my autonomy, and my schedule. This was the best way to achieve financial freedom as I work through my student debt,” she says.

AN says the labor of stripping is a lot more than working the pole and the stage. She describes the job as “professional companionship, image/brand management and advertising, financial planning and accounting,” and adds, “We do everything that other entrepreneurs do (but with none of the credit!)”

“The job is both physically and mentally demanding,” she says, but maintains, “My work has also led me into my healthiest self so far. … Learning to establish and maintain healthy boundaries with my labor has helped me grow with the job instead of being depleted from it. The benefits of making my own schedule and being my own boss has been worth the trade of time and labor. However, not all clubs make it possible for independent contractors to exercise these rights, and

FEATURED

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY I have dealt with pushback in asserting my own.”

Across the nation, dancers are fighting for their right to a safe working environment and the validity of their work.

Bloomberg Law found 406 lawsuits were filed by dancers against clubs since 2005 specifically about employment misclassification, with nearly two-thirds filed in the last five years.

In addition to these suits, some local governments are crafting laws explicitly to protect strippers. As reported by the Star Tribune, adult businesses in Minneapolis will now, “be required to give workers copies of their contracts, post rules for (customer) conduct and workers’ rights, and prohibit retaliation against workers who report violations. Managers and owners will be prohibited from taking tips from entertainers, and entertainers will be provided security escorts when leaving after a shift.”

The movement for dancers’ rights is not new, though it was galvanized after the passage of FOSTA-SESTA in 2018.

FOSTA-SESTA are laws meant to combat sex trafficking that experts say have only made the issue worse and made life far more difficult and dangerous for sex workers, including those in legal jobs like strippers, nude models and porn performers.

Their work made even harder and more dangerous, dancers are fighting back, and their concerns are finally being brought by public awareness. The New York Times ran a lengthy profile on the dancers battling for change in the industry, Huffington Post reported on the use of oldschool unionizing efforts by dancers, and Jennifer Lopez’s recent flick “Hustlers” addressed many of these issues. This visibility is hopefully helping bring attention to strippers’ organization efforts and empowering others to join.

“There is very little representation of us in the media, politics, or even popular culture. We’re constantly stereotyped and stigmatized,” says Mistress Lilith, who has been an outspoken advocate for strippers’ and sex workers’ rights. She acknowledges not all dancers can or want to get involved in activism and those who do often experience backlash. She says dancers risk losing their jobs and being blacklisted, while being outed as a

dancer may mean loss of family and community support or inability to be hired in another career. Some who dared to speak out received death threats. “This makes the process of speaking out and advocating for ourselves not only difficult, but risky. I realized I had to start though, it’s the only way to change things.

“Without us, these clubs have nothing. If we work together we can change the clubs from the inside in the meantime, while creating the vision for the types of clubs we want to see in the future,” says Mistress Lilith, who has been sharing information with dancers and the general public, speaking out at events, and even creating diverse, inclusive pop-up strips clubs that are run by dancers. One day she dreams to own her own club that will be run ethically.

Besides ensuring labor rights protections, what other changes are wanted by activists? AN has a whole list. She says dancers need resources for their taxes, managing emotional labor and mental health, escaping domestic and sexual abuse, plus club-wide education about sex trafficking, dancers’ rights and local prostitution laws.

“Did you know in some states you can get a ticket for prostitution for taking your shoes off in a champagne court?

Dancers need to know the laws and resources state to state that pertain to them,” she said.

She also says dancers need “legal protection and resources for sexual IMAGE: betsisman misconduct,” and adds, “police are not to be trusted and need to go through sensitivity and consent training, but that can’t happen until we address the archaic laws around full service sex work and stripping.”

Some of these changes will require massive social and legal shifts, but AN also mentions some of the smaller battles that dancers can win, like getting paid to do promotion for the club. “The club needs you. It’s not a compliment to be chosen to model for them,” she says, “You should be compensated for your time and image because attention and flattery don’t pay your bills. Charge for everything.

Don’t work for free.”

To learn more: We Are Dancers USA at WADUSA.org, IG:@wearedancers.usa and Survive the Club at survivetheclub.com, IG:@ survivetheclub.

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@TIMAREE_LEIGH PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020

GOSSIP

ICEPACK

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Saying goodbye 3 Philly hot spots close their doors

N Image | Gritte on Unsplash

JANUARY 9 - 16, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

additions to its membership in a minute via ow that every December holiKendra Brooks, Isaiah Thomas, Katherine day’s lengths and breadths have been exhausted, and you have no Gilmore Richardson and Jamie Gauthier. But, somehow, I’m thinking things are going to get more 2019 sick days to beg your boss on, welcome to your first a lot more uneasy before they are not.

There are no jokes or yuks or snark here. full week of the new decade. It Nothing truly catty or callous this time. Just a stinks already, right? Australia is devastated. Anti-Semitism runs rampant. deep breath for all of us.

Three venues lost We’re probably going to war with Iran. The Three venue closings are catching Eagles blew their chances at the Big my attention at the top of the year.

Game. “The Irishman” never stood a First, Ristorante La Veranda along chance at the Golden Globes, and, we

BY A.D. Penn’s Landing’s Pier 3 closed after had hardly commenced the New Year AMOROSI nearly 30 years of picantes, milaneses but for a few hours when a handful of and fra diablos. The kids among my Mummers douched it up by strutting column’s readership probably only out in blackface. know La Veranda as the big window-lined Hello, 2020. place next to the other place with all the nautiThere is some positivism to be had what cal stuff on the way to and from Cherry Street with a fresh new police commissioner in Danielle Outlaw – a name that nine days into the Pier parties or The Roots Picnic when it was New Year has already had enough dumb jokes still at Festival Pier. Icepack elders, however, know it as … ah, pretty much the same thing. to last the next millennium SO THAT STOPS The Erace brothers’ Green Aisle Grocery NOW – and yet another welcome to Philadelphia City Council’s youngest, most liberal dynasty will shut its doors to its all of its phys-

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ical locations at the end of January, and yet, as expected, the two Eraces, Adam and Andrew, are expected to remain brothers.

The sadder closing for me and other like-minded fans of punk rock and smacking around a ball or 10 comes with the shuttering of Everybody Hits at 5th and Girard Avenue.

The only performance venue on the planet with high ceilings, batting cages and bats – to say nothing of the always civilized crowds who yielded those bats responsibly (BET YOU CAN’T SAY THAT OF LA VERANDA) – is shuttered because the property’s ownership is rumored to be selling the location. Everybody Hits, and everything about it, will be missed.

Media buys New York state’s Schneps Media has been on a bit of a buying spree of late, including NYC’s two biggest freebies, amNew York and the Metro newspaper chain, the latter of which has stops in New York City, Boston, and Philadelphia.

The Schneps rejiggered its two NYC purchases to create New York City’s newly branded paper, amNewYork Metro, which introduced itself Jan. 6, and Metro Philadelphia will hold its title (though it sadly lost some of its editors such as Morgan Rousseau) and retain its local publisher Susan Peiffer. No word as yet on the fate of Boston’s Metro.

A Philly twist Thinking of New York City, yet, with a great big Philly twist, Stephen Starr chose to make his next restaurant more of a Manhattan affair (rather than, say, figuring out what is happening with that 21st and Sansom Street space he’s long held after Il Pittore closed) with Veronika at Fotografiska. Housed within the still-freshly painted new, international photography museum Fotografiska New York, the Starr restaurant and its Eastern European-inspired theme, opened Jan. 3 on the second floor of 281 Park Avenue South, a 45,000 square foot-historic landmark with three floors of photo exhibition space, a private event space, café, restaurant (Veronika), and adjoining chapel bar (The Chapel Bar at Fotografiska, another Starr space).

Starr brought Executive Chef Robert Aikens from The Dandelion and will focus on a

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dinner menu that is very Russian/Polish/ Prague-y with something of a French flair.

Both Veronika and The Chapel Bar were designed by the architectural design crew at Roman and Williams. I’ll send some notes home when I hit Veronika next week.

Read all about it In terms of “critical darlings,” no newly beloved author is more highly regarded than Philadelphia’s Kiley Reid, who not only just made her novel debut with the boldly Afro-Conscious “Such a Fun Age,” but is winning accolades from the likes of Emmy Award-winning writer and actor Lena Waithe and fellow writer Emma Straub.

Be honest, though, you didn’t know that she started her book tour on Monday at Uncle Bobbie’s, and you probably missed the event. Don’t fret. There’s more, but you’re going to need a car or big Uber bucks if you want to get to Towne Book Center & Café in Collegeville on Jan. 28, Doylestown Bookshop in Doylestown on Jan. 29, and/or Main Point Books in Wayne on Jan. 30. Be a Reid groupie and hit them all.

On the big screen Remember two weeks ago when I mentioned that the Greater Philadelphia Film Office stated that Robert DeNiro’s next movie, the Philly-filmed “After Exile,” would start early in 2020? The window is getting smaller as Deniro’s next film after After Exile, Martin Scorsese’s adaptation of the book “Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI” with Leonardo DiCaprio and “Irishman” cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto will start principal photography in March in New Mexico. Hurry up, Philly.

On the airwaves Lastly, congrats to longtime Philly radio mouth Matt Cord who just got and started his gig as midday host (9am-2pm) at 102.9 WMGKFM. Cord dropped the well-planned news about his swing shift during an on-air chat with mustachioed morning jock John DeBella on Monday morning. Cord, known for his tenure at WMMR and Y-100, is, of course, taking over the spot left behind by Debbi Calton’s retirement.

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Rock meets bluegrass

Greensky Bluegrass will mash up rock and roll with bluegrass when it appears at The Met on Jan. 18. Image | Courtesy Greensky Bluegrass

JANUARY 9 - 16, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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Greensky Bluegrass has been breaking the rules for years

W

ho follows the rules, anyway? with its fans.

The guys of Greensky Blue“It’s grueling, but it’s also really inspiring,” grass don’t, that’s for damn Hoffman said of being on the road. “There’s sure. a lot of people out there who love our music, The band – consisting of and it’s really important to them.”

Michael Bont, Dave Bruzza, Ultimately, all the miles traveled pay off Paul Hoffman, Anders Beck when the band can create a communal space and Mike Devol – has been pushing the lim- for their fans to get lost in the music.

“We’re trying to create an experiits of bluegrass music since forming ence that is more than just going to in 2000 in Michigan. They’re known see a show – it’s a reunion of friends, to take rock and roll influences and

BY ALEX it’s a social gathering and a cathartic mash them up with traditional blueNAGY escape from reality,” Hoffman said. grass. They’ve created famous covers The band is so serious about mainof legendary rock songs in their distaining such experiences for their tinct style, such as “Time” by Pink fans that they founded their own music fesFloyd and “A Day in the Life” by The Beatles, which show the versatility and impressive- tival, Camp Greensky, which takes place in a secluded area of Michigan’s Huron-Manistee ness of their unique sound.

National Forests. It will be entering its third “Over the years, we’ve sort of experimented with a little bit more restraint to a rock and year this June.

After playing several sets throughout the roll or pop model of song structure versus years at major festivals, the guys of Greensky bluegrass model – but then we also have a 10 minute-long jam album,” Hoffman – who plays Bluegrass wanted to write their own set of rules for the festival world. They took some the mandolin in the band – said. “We’re trying inspiration from Planet Bluegrass, a long-runto figure out new ways to approach whatever ning music festival set in the Colorado wildergenre it is with different arrangements.”

Greensky Bluegrass will be playing in ness.

“People just played in the creek, had frisbee Philly on Jan. 18 at The Met as part of their games, went for hikes or slept in because they nationwide 2020 winter tour in support of partied all night.” their latest album, “All For Money,” which Their mission for their own festival? To perwas released in January 2019. Visit themetform a set long enough to give them enough philly.com for ticket info. time to jam with the audience, and to give fans Ironically, none of the band’s work was done just for money. They dedicate their mu- enough time to enjoy the breathtaking nature around them. Something different from the sic mostly to the loyal community of fans who sets that go until 4 a.m. like the ones at Planet have followed them on tour for years.

Bluegrass. They’re not as concerned with the “This album came from a place of contemminutiae of running a festival as they are with plating the pressure of risk and responsibility providing their fans an unforgettable experiof this thing we’ve created, but also the joy,” ence.

Hoffman said.

“We really wanted to have something that “All For Money” is Greensky Bluegrass’ was out of the program so people could have a 10th studio album. With each new release, the band seeks to focus on showing growth in its meaningful experience on their own.”

Their upcoming Philly show may not be music.

“We take more time and experiment a little set in a sprawling cornfield in the middle of farther, and challenge our songwriting and nowhere, but Greensky Bluegrass will still be performing in the way they know best: arranging styles and come up with some new on their own terms. Forget the typical 70- to ideas,” Hoffman said. “The content kind of changes as we get older, but musically we’re 80-minute sets that touring bands typically growing one step at a time, and I feel like ev- pay – get ready for a nearly three-hour long set that’ll have you immersed in their world. ery album is the next step.”

“It gives us the freedom to explore a lot of Being on the road is no new experience for different ideas and parts of our music,” Hoffthese seasoned rockers. In fact, they thrive in a touring environment – they play up to 175 man said. “Now that we’ve created this forshows a year, whether they are large festivals mat, we can basically do whatever the hell we want.” like Bonnaroo or on their own tours. Each is a special opportunity for the band to touch base

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 9 - 16, 2020

16

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Singer-songwriter Ron Pope will appear Jan. 16 at The Foundry at the Fillmore only weeks before his latest album is scheduled to drop. Image | Nicole Mago

5 Questions: Ron Pope S

New kid, new album – and newfound happiness

I began writing and recording what would inger-songwriter Ron Pope has seen eventually become “Bone Structure” in the a lot in his life and career. From months before she was born. At that point, I growing up in Georgia to having was writing a lot of fun, energetic tunes after a baseball career derailed by injury, to becoming an internet music having been on the road playing every night sensation and developing a legion for quite a while.

In early 2019, when she was a few months of loyal fans around the world, he’s old, my family was with me out on tour. Immehad his highs and lows. diately after I was dropped off where we were A lot of you might know Pope from his instaying, two men attacked the car I’d been ridternet hit “A Drop in the Ocean.” But what ing in. Thankfully, no one was you might not know is that his injured but the whole experience life changed dramatically with was really jarring. It’s one thing the birth of his child and an unBY PHILADELPHIA to be afraid for yourself and anfortunate incident that occurred WEEKLY STAFF other thing entirely to fear for when men attacked a car he had your children. just been riding in.

The whole thing got me thinkThe events not only changed his perspective, it led to the complete rework- ing about my mortality in a way that I never ing of his upcoming album, Bone Structure, had before. There’s nothing like creating a new life to put into perspective just how short due to drop in a couple of months.

PW recently caught up with Pope as he pre- our time on this earth is.

I started thinking about what I’d want her pared for his Philly show at The Foundry at to know if I wasn’t around to talk to her when the Fillmore on Jan. 16.

Let’s start with the story behind “Bone she was all grown up. With that in mind, we Structure,” your album set to drop in restarted work on the album from scratch. Every song on this record is either me speaking March that already is generating a lot of buzz. We’ve read where it isn’t necessari- to her about my experiences as her father thus ly the album you set out to make, but was far (“Practice What I Preach” and “My Wildest Dreams” are perhaps the two most obvious heavily influenced by the birth of your examples of this kind of song) or me sharing daughter. It’s almost a message to her.

Talk a little about how this album came to- some story from my own life with a moral or a lesson that I think might be of value to her gether and its meaning.

This album is absolutely directed squarely at some point. I tried to sanitize it as little as at my daughter; it’s for an audience of one. possible, because in my mind, I’m speaking to Anyone else who hears it is just eavesdrop- her as an adult.

I’ve never written with this degree of honping.

JANUARY 9 - 16, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

s:

PEOPLE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY esty before; I always felt a need to edit myself for my audience to some degree but I felt like I owed her all the honesty I could muster. I know all of this sounds a little bit maudlin, but there’s a wide range of emotions woven through this album. It’s about life; every dark moment of my life has been balanced by another of intense joy. That’s all in there.

Your “A Drop in the Ocean” was an internet sensation. How have the internet and social media changed the way artists promote their music and reach their fans?

My career began in a way that wouldn’t have been possible at any other time in the history of this business. A small group of incredibly enthusiastic listeners from all over the world helped me spread my music like wildfire via the internet.

Social media allows artists to go directly to their fans. You don’t have to pass through a gatekeeper who says if you’re worthy of trying to reach an audience; you can just make your music and then go out to find people who understand what you’re saying.

That’s an incredible power to have in your hands as an artist. I’ve never had to pander to please anyone who’s in charge at some label; I just make what feels good to me and I share it with my fans. As a creative person, not having someone to tell me that what I’m doing isn’t commercial enough or whatever enough is freeing.

My manager, Blair Clark, (who also happens to be my wife) and I were able to start our own label (Brooklyn Basement Records) largely because of this new opportunity to access the fans directly. We depend very little on conventional media to access fans; we go direct.

You’ve said, “For a long time, I broke my own heart living like I didn’t need anyone.

Somewhere inside, I knew that what I really wanted was to build a less volatile life for myself than the one I’d been born into.

As cliché as it seems, all I wanted was to be happy; I just didn’t know how.” So have you found happiness?

I’m incredibly happy. I don’t know if getting married and having children is for everyone, but it certainly suits me. Being a father and a husband has given me a sense of purpose that

I didn’t have before; my life feels like it has real meaning now. I don’t work for me anymore; I work for them.

My friend Caroline Spence (who’s opening this whole tour) made sweatshirts that say “Sad Songs, Happy Person.” I wear mine all the time.

What can your Philly fans expect to see at the Foundry at the Fillmore on Jan. 16?

First and foremost, I’m an entertainer. I know that you had to take a night off of work or ask your parents if you could come or maybe you had to get someone to watch your kids; everybody had to go out of their way to be with us in one way or another. That’s something I keep in mind.

I want you to have a great time and forget about the rest of your life while you’re at my show. There’s high energy stuff (I get sweaty), there’s delicate stuff (maybe we’ll all cry) and everything else in between. I’ve put together the most powerful band I’ve ever had and they’re up there dealing every night.

I promise that I’m going to give you everything I’ve got.

Also, Caroline Spence is amazing so you should come early to see her. All her music (especially her newest album “Mint Condition”) is on repeat at my house.

You’ve sold out shows around the Image | Nicole Mago world, had your music featured on national television shows and had hundreds of millions of streams on the internet. What’s next for you? What’s left for you to achieve?

There’s always more to do. I never feel like I’ve “made it;” we’re “making it” each and every day. I keep trying to up the ante. Each time we start making a new record, I’m trying to create the best album I’ve ever made. I believe that “Bone Structure” is my strongest work yet (and I’m my own harshest critic).

The same goes for the show – every time I set foot on that stage, I want to deliver, both for the folks who’ve never seen me before and for the people who are on their hundredth show.

As an artist, if you stop striving, you’re done.

Ron Pope at The Fillmore | Tickets: $25 to $75 | thefillmorephilly.com

@PHILLYWEEKLY

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18

VOICES

OF OUR

CITY

TWEETS OF THE WEEK

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

THE SHOUT OUT

Photo: YouTube screenshot

Last Sunday, Seahawks defensive end Jadeveon Clowney joined the list of the piece of shit players Eagles fans will now love to hate after his cheap shot on QB Carson Wentz took Wentz out of the game and ended his season after a concussion.

Bro, our opinions don’t mean shit. Quite frankly, neither do the talking heads. The only opinion that matters is the league office— and it’s obvious they just don’t care about safety as much as the fans do.

– Arthur Strom | @pingponggame @clownejd Not only did you damage Carson Wentz permanently now (everyone knows what concussions do) that you can never ever fix but you had to cheat to win by taking the QB out deliberately. That is what you did and that is what Seahawks Pete Carroll has enabled. @NFL – RC Chandler | @rcc1000 @clownejd you’re a dirty bitch. And I hope at some point in your life you reflect on that hit on Wentz and truly realize how in the wrong you were.

– EaglesSecondary=Trash | @EaglesSecondar1 This is completely stupid and there should have been a penalty on Jadeveon Clowney, are you that fucking stupid and dumb you and the rest of your referee crew couldn’t have thrown a fucking flag?

– Joe Hafer | @joehafer1192

JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

The Seahawks went on to win the NFC Wild Card game, 17-9 and after the game, it was widely reported that Clowney referred to Eagles Nation as “the worst fans in the world.”

The reaction from fans was swift on Twitter. Here’s a sampling: @clownejd you’re a scumbag.. and had the balls to talk trash on Philly sports fans... you’re the worst not us – Kate Farley | @kfarley519 @clownejd How does Jadeveon Clowney look himself in the mirror causing other players’ lives to be shortened by CTE? I don’t know how guys like him and Clay Matthews (who knows what he did to former Eagles QB Kevin Kolb) live with themselves.

– RC Chandler | @rcc1000 Eagles lost by 8 points you don’t think they would of had a chance with Wentz instead of a 40-year-old QB who was riding the pine all year!?! Lol plus if they beat Seattle and advance Desean Jackson was coming back the following week in the divisional round.

– Steve Cruise | @cruisedaddy21 @JadeveonClowney insists hit was clean on Carson Wentz, expects death threats from ‘worst fans in the world’ but he targeted hit.

And he paid $40K for the same hit earlier in the year. via @CBSSports @espn @Eagles @ NFL @cj_wentz – Leo Bloom | @LeoBloom7

Image | PW File Photo

“From improving our education system and providing quality pre-K to our children, to tackling the opioid epidemic, we’ve accomplished so much because worked together.”

– Reflections from Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney regarding his first of now two terms in office.

Your turn: Do you agree with the mayor that as a city “we’ve accomplished so much?”

What’s left to be accomplished?

Send your thoughts to voices@philadelphiaweekly.com

VOICES OF OUR CITY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

19

Hail to the chief Danielle Outlaw is both the new Philadelphia police commissioner and the former top cop in Portland, Oregon. Her recent appointment to lead the city’s 6,500-member police force got folks talking – both here and in her former city. Here are a few of their thoughts:

Outlaw:

District Attorney Larry Krasner:

“Modern policing is data-driven, but the paramount factor is not so easily quantified: trust – the trust residents have that their police force will keep them safe and treat them with respect. I am convinced that trust can be restored, here and across the nation. I am convinced community-police relations can be rebuilt and fortified through dialogue, transparency, and accountability.”

“Welcome to Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection, Police Commissioner Outlaw. As an outsider to Philadelphia, you are well-positioned to act during a time of needed reform on the ideals you have expressed. We are hopeful that your deeds will match your words and you will push for justice because we all know that justice makes us safer. You have championed 21st century policing, reconciliation between police and the communities they serve, equal treatment for all, and compassion for those who suffer from mental illness, addiction, and homelessness. I look forward to working with you, Mayor Kenney, and your Department to make criminal justice reform in Philadelphia a reality.”

Rev. Mark Kelly Tyler of POWER Live Free campaign: "We celebrate the

historic appointment of Commissioner Danielle Outlaw as the first African American woman to lead the Philadelphia Police Department. We look forward to learning about the challenges she faced in Portland and Oakland, and how her perspective can be a part of informing the challenges we face in Philadelphia. We are looking forward to meeting with incoming Commissioner Outlaw and helping to explain to her to the many struggles in our neighborhoods, and the opportunities that can come from listening to and partnering with our communities as they face poverty, racism, divestment, and other root causes of violence and harm. We look forward to supporting her leadership as she pushes for the transparency and accountability we need to transform Philadelphia policing for the better."

Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney:

Mayor Jim Kenney recently appointed Danielle Outlaw as the city’s police commissioner. Many around the region, and in Portland, where Outlaw used to be police chief, commented on her appointment.

Image: S. Madera | City of Philadelphia

Do you think Philly’s new top cop will create any change?

Send your thoughts to voices@philadelphiaweekly.com

Portland City Commissioner Jo Ann Hardesty: “Over the last two years

I have appreciated the opportunity to work with Danielle Outlaw while she served as Portland’s Police Chief. Her job was not an easy one, but it is a vital one for our city. As an outsider, being asked to change the culture of the Portland Police Bureau required a herculean effort, as well as a support team which I fear she never found.”

“While I have tremendous respect for our officers, the Philadelphia Police Department needs reform. I am appointing Danielle Outlaw because I am convinced she has the conviction, courage, and compassion needed to bring long-overdue reform to the Department. After meeting and speaking with her at length, I came away confident that Danielle Outlaw possesses the strength, integrity, and empathy vital to the tasks ahead.”

State Rep. Jason Dawkins, on behalf of the House Democratic Philadelphia Delegation: “The appointment of Danielle Outlaw is welcome news for our great

city. Her credentials as an experienced officer and chief, along with her impeccable character, make her well suited to lead and reform a department that has been plagued with issues of racial and gender discrimination and sexual harassment. “It is long past time that a woman, notably a woman of color, be given the opportunity to lead the law enforcement actions and efforts of Philadelphia and work toward the reforms that are most needed.”

Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler: “I’d like to congratulate Chief Outlaw for landing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. We thank her for her service to the City of Portland and the Portland Police Bureau (PPB), where she helped make a positive difference. She came to Portland exceedingly qualified for the position of police chief, and leaves more prepared than ever for her new position in Philadelphia.”

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020

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Fashion inside and out Philly’s new Fashion District was lit for the holidays. A shout-out to Tina Phifer for sharing this photo with us from 9th and Market streets.

And stay tuned, as PW will have a feature on the food of the Fashion District in the coming weeks. If you have a pic to share with us, send it to mail@philadelphiaweekly.com or tag us on social media using the hashtag #PWBigPic.

BIG

PICTURE

21

22

THUR JANUARY 9

ART

West Philly Drink & Draw

Have a chance to get away from work, the kids or whatever else sucks up the bulk of your days on Planet Earth and get with some likeminded people who just want to enjoy a cup of coffee and... doodle. There’s a reason it’s been around for so long. That shit is therapeutic. | 5 pm.

Free. The Satellite Cafe, 5000 Baltimore Ave. facebook.com MUSIC

Chris Lane

A new generation of musicians has infiltrated the country genre. Lane is one of the fresh faces shaking up everything we knew about what country sounds like. His music could unite the entire fanbase, from city to rural folk. | 8 pm. $60. Theatre of Living Arts, 334 South St. venue.tlaphilly.com INTERESTS

First Thursday Happy Hour: Jews and Tattoos

Love comedy? Have tattoos, or at least wish you did? Jewish? You’ve checked off all boxes to qualify to participate in this community-minded happy hour. Have a drink or two and find where you fit in. | 6:30 pm. Free. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. tribe12.org

THE SCENE A WEEK'S WORTH OF ADVENTURES A C R O S S P H I L LY N E I G H B O R H O O D S

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY MOVIES

January Philly Film Showcase Local filmmakers share the projects they’ve been working on at this monthly screening. | 7:30 pm. Free.

Philadelphia Film Society, 1412 Chestnut St. filmadelphia.org LGBTQ

Martha Graham Cracker: Philly Loves Bowie Week Edition

Then Now Next

The fabulous cabaret performer will be performing some of her favorite Bowie songs for this benefit show for the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Give all your dollar bills in support of pediatric cancer research. | 8 pm. $20. L’Etage, 624 S. 6th St. brownpapertickets.com MUSIC Image | Scott Robbins

Who are the legends of Black dance? The best of today? The future stars? Here’s your chance to find out.

Don’t miss the chance to see more than 40 diverse dance companies and styles at Then Now Next. The International Association of Blacks in Dance has partnered with Philadanco!, The Philadelphia Dance Company to bring the 32nd Annual International Conference and Festival of Blacks in Dance here from Jan. 15-18.

During this conference, emerging, established, and legendary Black dance companies from all over America will convene in the City of Brotherly Love for a one-of-a-kind festival. This four-day conference and festival celebrate the brilliance of Black dance companies while enhancing audiences’ understanding of Black dance history and technique.

What: Then Now Next When: Jan. 15-18 Where: The Merriam Theater at The Kimmel Center Cultural Campus How much: Prices vary More: https://www.iabdassociation.org/mpage/performances

JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Through Being Cool Emo Night

We still want to hide from the world behind our long bangs and black clothing. If you’re like us, join us. | 10 pm. $3.

The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. facebook.com MUSIC

Reggie and the Full Effect

We dare you to find another band that could do it all like they can. Emotional love songs, comedy, catchy beats. ... It’s rare for musicians these days to be such a triple threat. | 7:30 pm. $15. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. eventbrite.com

TRIVIA

MUSIC

Star Wars Quizzo

Kurt C

Independence Mall E.

eventbrite.

This guy is g

Three words: Baby. Fucking. blues that w through this Yoda. We just can’t get crooning he enough of that little guy.

We’re sure you feel the same the old-scho - share your passionate love that we all kn for him and the entire film He covers th series at this trivia night for writes his ow the coolest nerds around. | 6 tunes. | 9 pm pm. Free. The Bourse, 111 S. Twisted Tail, eventbrite.com MUSIC

FRI JANUARY 10

INTERESTS

Young Professionals Night: Power Patterns

Dress outside of your comfort zone for the night.

Throw on the brightest patterns in your wardrobe for a night of networking among some exceptional art. Make some successful friends and catch the current exhibit “30 Americans” in its final days. | 7 pm. $40. The Barnes Foundation, 2025 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. barnesfoundation.org MUSIC

Pit Hair

Smelly, unsightly and overgrown – luckily, this band is nothing like that. These Philly punks are exactly the kind of body hair you’d want to keep around. They can get a little filthy when they need, but when has that been a bad thing? | 7:45 pm. $6. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com

Karaok Gung S The Bo Twenti

Skeletor hos karaoke sho participants

CALENDAR

LYWEEKLYPHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY MUSIC

Kurt Crandall

This guy is giving us all the blues that we need to get us through this cold winter. His crooning hearkens back to the old-school styles of blues that we all know and love.

He covers the classics and writes his own contemporary tunes. | 9 pm. Free. The Twisted Tail, 509 2nd St. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Karaoke Gung Show: The Boring Twenties

Skeletor hosts this karaoke showdown where participants have to sing

before the gong gets banged. Get your words out before you’re faced with the inevitable bang. If you’re lucky, he’ll like you. | 9 pm.

Free. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. eventbrite.com PARTY

Sound & Vision Happy Hour What would Bowie want us to do right now? Dance our asses off. Do exactly that at this all vinyl go-go party in his honor. A portion from Young American Sour sales will be going to CHOP. | 6 pm.

Free. The Trestle Inn, 339 N. 11th St. facebook.com

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COMEDY

The Teens: New Year Chamolutions

Laugh your way into the new year at this indie comedy show. It should be one of your New Year’s resolutions to catch up with local talent.

Fulfill that goal with this bi-weekly show featuring a local improv comedy group. | 8:30 pm. $5. Headlong, 1170 S. Broad St. facebook.com

FUNDRAISER

Bowie Masquerade Ball

Let’s dance. Put on your most mysterious mask and get lost on the floor. Not too lost, though – keep yourself standing out in the crowd enough to win the costume contest. Dance the blues to show some love to cancer research at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. | Friday, 10 pm. $10.

Ruba Club, 416 Green St. eventbrite.com

MUSIC

The Moon Landing Was a Hoax

The views expressed here don’t necessarily reflect our own. We’re just here to fawn over these guys and their amazing name. It sounds like they’re about to present us with some top secret government information, so maybe we should all sit down, shut up and listen. | Friday, 8:30 pm. $10.

Bourbon and Branch, 705 N. 2nd St. eventbrite.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

COMEDY

Study Hall

We probably would’ve paid more attention in our college lectures if our professors were entertaining. Luckily, profs at local schools will be turning to comedians to make their material funny at this show. The comedians will take the lessons and make them into laughable sketches. You may actually learn something if you can keep it together. | Saturday 7 pm. $12. Philly Improv Theater, 2030 Sansom St. eventbrite.com

SAT JANUARY 11

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JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Welcome back to one of Philly’s biggest monthly queer parties.

Vogue to tunes from all queer/ trans/POC DJs. Get there early to catch an amazing drag king pre-show featuring Philly’s hottest performers. | 9 pm. $7$17. Tabu, 254 S. 12th St. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Method Man and Redman

We’re sure you’re familiar with these guys - if you aren’t, there’s just no excuse. They revolutionized the hip-hop genre by breaking out as solo artists after their time with the Wu Tang Clan and the Def Squad. Don’t take this lightly rap royalty is coming to town. | 9 pm. $45. The Ave Live, 520 N. Columbus Blvd. eventbrite.com

MUSIC

Motion City Soundtrack

This band just reminds us of some genuinely good times.

We loved being able to enjoy their music in our teen years, and we’re so lucky we’re still able to today. Let loose with some fun-loving pop-punks. | 8 pm. $32.50. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. facebook.com KID FRIENDLY

Arts & Crafts Crafternoon: Dream Boards

New year, new visions.

Encourage your kids to set goals and use their imaginations to lay out what they want 2020 to look like. It’s always beneficial to give your kids practice with manifesting their dreams. | 11 am. Prices vary. Amalgam Comics and Coffeehouse, 2578 Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com

COMEDY

Middleditch & Schwartz

Each hilarious on their own, but better together. It’s incredible that genuinely hilarious guys like these two have made their way into the mainstream. We can’t get enough of seeing them on our TVs, and we can’t wait to finally see them with our own eyes in our city. | 8 pm. $39.50-$49.50. The Met Philly, 858 N. Broad St. themetphilly.com ART

Wildseed: A Seat at the Table

Are you a woodworking woman? A poet? A seat is reserved just for you at this artistic poet showcase.

Share the work that means something to you with a group of women who are no strangers to being creative. | 6 pm. $15.

The Center for Art in Wood, 141 N. 3rd St. eventbrite.com

ch &

SUN JANUARY 12

MUSIC

Art Alexakis

This guy has led the alt-rock band Everclear to greatness throughout his music career.

It’s now his time to find that same success with a solo run.

Show some love for this living legend. | 8 pm. $24-$34. City Winery, 990 Filbert St. citywinery.com LGBTQ

Cutthroat Queens

This is the drag version of Cutthroat Kitchen. Queens each have $150 to pay for sabotages against their competitors. In the end, the shadiest - and richest - bitch will come out on top. | 10:30 pm. Free. Tabu, 254 S. 12th St.

eir own, but facebook.com incredible ous guys made their ream. We seeing nd we can’t em with city. | 8 pm. e Met Philly,

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CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY INTERESTS

A Snowy Bowie Skate

An all Bowie soundtrack is the perfect fuel to get you skating laps around the rink.

Lace up your skates in honor of the Starman himself. His music videos and movie appearances will be playing on the big screen, and there will be face painting for those who want to pay homage to the Ziggy Stardust look. | Noon. $14. Blue Cross RiverRink, 101 S. Columbus Blvd. facebook.com MUSIC

Obsidian

It doesn’t get any more stripped down than this.

Underground techno will be on full blast all night for this subterranean dance party.

The sound and atmosphere have been crafted specifically

for you to go crazy on the dance floor, so please don’t hold back. | 10 pm. $15. 714, 714 W. Girard Ave. residentadvisor.net ART

Starman Art Afternoon

Be a hero. Make some expressive art this afternoon that will benefit research at CHOP in Bowie’s name. Style Bowie fashion dolls and craft Aladdin Sane masks to show your love during the pop superstar’s honorary month. | Noon. Free. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. tattooedmomphilly.com INTERESTS

Subterranean Philly: What Lies Beneath

There’s a whole other city beneath us right now. Don’t

25

miss your chance to explore it all at this exclusive tour.

Get a look at the tunnels and passageways that never got the chance to be developed as part of the city’s public transportation. | 1 pm. $20. 801 Market St. eventbrite.com WELLNESS

Big Body Loving

Don’t let society pressure you into thinking that you’re not enough. Those with big bodies simply have more to love. You are beautiful exactly the way you are, and at this workshop, you will learn to harness all that powerful energy that comes with being yourself. | 5 pm.

Prices vary. The Velvet Lily, 1204 Chestnut St. Eventbrite.com

COMEDY

Stand Up Comedy Sundays

The Eagles’ season is officially over. Find something else to do with your Sundays and check out this weekly comedy showcase. Hailed by Best of Philly as a “non-sucky open mic,” we think you have nothing to lose by coming here. | Sunday, 8:30 pm. Free. Fergie’s Pub, 1214 Sansom St. facebook.com

WELLNESS

Puppy Yoga

The most effective stress relief money can buy. Stretch out with puppies by your side at this heavenly yoga class. We would do it every single day if we could. | Sunday, 1:30 pm. $25. Amrita Yoga, 2306 South St. eventbrite.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020

26 X

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

MON JANUARY 13

induced trip of a movie. | 7 pm. Prices vary. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. tattooedmomphilly.com

LEARN

Science on Tap: Launching Space Camp We’re all getting ready to yeet ourselves off this planet when WWIII starts. It’d be useful to learn a thing or two about space before that happens. Don’t miss out on this discussion of Space Camp in Alabama, where you could get actual space training. | 6 pm. Free.

National Mechanics, 22 S. 3rd St. facebook.com MOVIES

Bee Movie: Live Reading

Absolutely nobody asked for this, but we’re pretty damn grateful that it’s happening. Join local theater group Theatre Contra for a reading of this strange, allergy med-

FOOD & DRINK

Off Flavor Beer Tasting Class

In college, we only had three different kinds of beer to choose from: Bud Light, PBR or whatever was in the kegs. We didn’t learn how to pick up on all the little nuances in taste until we got fancy and started drinking at craft breweries. Can you pick up on the slightly off tastes in the brews offered at this tasting class? | Monday, 7 pm. $25.

Devil’s Den, 1148 S. 11th St. facebook.com

JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

struggles at this necessary networking event. | 6 pm.

Free. MilkBoy, 1100 Chestnut St. facebook.com

INTERESTS

Lonely Artist Mingle

We get it – you’ve been locked up in the studio for days on end crafting your vision. Being a creative can get pretty damn lonely. Get to know artists with similar

ART

Poems Night

Got some spoken words you need to get off your chest? Come out to this monthly showcase for Philly poets. You’ll be shocked by the talent around you, and by your own courage to share work that means something to you. | Monday, Dec. 9. 7 pm.

Free. Hot Bed, 723 Chestnut St. facebook.com LEARN

Make Noise: A Creator’s Guide to Podcasting

The podcast world is on fire right now.

If you want to make

your way into the booming industry, now is your time.

Take advantage of the tools that will be presented in this discussion facilitated by Eric Nuzum, the innovator of NPR’s podcasts. | 6:30 pm. Free. Free Library of Philadelphia, 1700 S. Broad St. facebook.com FOOD & DRINK

Blind Water Tasting

If you think all water tastes the same, we can’t be friends. It’s no secret that the water in Philly is instrumental in making all our delicious foods – water ice, Amoroso rolls, cheesesteaks… It’s important to also learn the effects that water has on making spirits, which is the whole point of this tasting. | 6 pm. $20. Goose Island Brewhouse, 1002 Canal St. eventbrite.com

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

FOOD & DRINK

Beer, Bread & ‘Bucha Fermentation Workshop

Fermentation is an art worth learning how to master. You mean to tell us that we can make our own beer and bread? If we could do that, we’d pretty much be entirely self-sufficient. Allow the folks at Levante Brewing and Funky Fresh Ferments to show you how it’s done. | 6 pm. $55. Bar Amis, 4503 S. Broad St. beerbreadbucha. splashthat.com

TUES JANUARY 14

TRIVIA

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Trivia

Choose your gang to support you at this trivia night all about the city’s favorite TV show.

Hopefully you won’t need any riot punch to power through the night. | 7 pm. $8. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. facebook.com LGBTQ

Drag Goes Acoustic

It’s impossible to dial down an art like drag. However, we’re into this idea of a relaxed, yet extremely entertaining show.

Local queens will serenade the crowd with acoustic sets all night. | 8 pm. Prices vary.

Clearhouse, 1608 W. Passyunk Ave. nightout.com

MUSIC

The Man in Black: A Tribute to Johnny Cash

Shawn Barker will have you seeing double with his tribute act to Cash. He looks, sounds and captures the audience just like Cash did. It’s pretty uncanny, and it’s worth checking out | 8 pm. $45. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.

INTERESTS

Tuesday Night Hang Out

Club going up on a Tuesday.

Come meet some new friends and score cheap deals on drinks. There’s no reason for your night to be lame if you have somewhere you can go like this. | 10 pm. Free. Saint Lazarus Bar, 102 W. Girard Ave. facebook.com

worldcafelive.com ART MUSIC

YACHT

This band has been doing its part to turn the music industry’s technology on its ear for nearly two decades. They’ve done all kinds of quirky things with the tech at their disposal – to promote their 2015 album “I Thought the Future Would Be Cooler,” they created an album cover that could only be viewed via fax. Fucking astounding band right here. | 8 pm. $15.

Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com

Glass Etching Workshop

After you master this artistic workshop, you’ll be bringing your own glass with you to the bar. Just pull up, slap that bad boy on the bar and ask for your favorite liquor on the rocks. It’ll leave the bartender with fewer glasses to wash, therefore saving the planet by demanding less water to be used. All because of a glass etching workshop you went to once. Amazing, huh? | 6 pm. $40-$60. Art in the Age, 116 N. 3rd St. artintheage.com

10 Under $10 Low on dough? You can still have a blast Pit Hair

Smelly, unsightly and overgrown – luckily, this band is nothing like that. These Philly punks are exactly the kind of body hair you’d want to keep around.

They can get a little filthy when they need, but when has that been a bad thing? | Friday, Jan. 10 7:45 pm. $6. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Trivia

Choose your gang to support you at this trivia night all about the city’s favorite TV show. Hopefully you won’t need any riot punch to power through the night. | Tuesday, Jan. 14, 7 pm. $8. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St.

Eventbrite.com

Facebook.com

Karaoke Gung Show: The Boring Twenties

Tuesday Night Hang Out

Skeletor hosts this karaoke showdown where participants have to sing before the gong gets banged. Get your words out before you’re faced with the inevitable bang. If you’re lucky, he’ll like you. | Friday, Jan. 10, 9 pm. Free. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. Eventbrite.com

Cutthroat Queens

This is the drag version of Cutthroat Kitchen.

Queens each have $150 to pay for sabotages against their competitors. In the end, the shadiest - and richest - bitch will come out on top. | Sunday, Jan. 12, 10:30 pm. Free. Tabu, 254 S. 12th St. Facebook.com

Science on Tap: Launching Space Camp

We’re all getting ready to yeet ourselves off this planet when WWIII starts. It’d be useful to learn a thing or two about space before that happens.

Don’t miss out on this discussion of Space Camp in Alabama, where you could get actual space training. | Monday, Jan. 13, 6 pm. Free. National Mechanics, 22 S. 3rd St. facebook.com

Lonely Artist Mingle

We get it – you’ve been locked up in the studio for days on end crafting your vision. Being a creative can get pretty damn lonely. Get to know artists with similar struggles at this necessary networking event. | Monday, Jan. 13, 6 pm. Free. MilkBoy, 1100 Chestnut St.

Club going up on a Tuesday. Come meet some new friends and score cheap deals on drinks. There’s no reason for your night to be lame if you have somewhere you can go like this. | Tuesday, Jan. 14, 10 pm. Free. Saint Lazarus Bar, 102 W. Girard Ave. Facebook.com

FAM SESH

A little jam sesh with a tight local music fam, hosted

by James Cooper and Jared Williams. Spread some sticky and sweet jam on the dry white toast that is your typical Tuesday evening. | Tuesday, Jan. 14, 8 pm. Free. Connie’s Ric Rac, 1132 S. 9th St. facebook.com

Northeast LGBTQ Night Out

This isn’t limited to just one day of the week – inclusivity is celebrated every day at this friendly neighborhood bar. Witness art come alive on stage with a performance by Mx D. Underwood. Feel free to come back every Wednesday if you want. | Wednesday, Jan. 15, 4 pm. Free. SawTown Tavern, 4717 Princeton Ave. Facebook.com

The Future of Art

This may depict exactly how you picture the future of art galleries to be. Art will be displayed using augmented reality technology, which will undoubtedly alter the limits of our physical reality.

Trippy stuff. | Thursday, Jan. 16, 8 pm. Free. The Maas Building, 1325 N. Randolph St. facebook.com

Facebook.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020

28 X

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

WED JANUARY 15

COMEDY

Really Funny Comedians (Who Happen to be Women)

Women are extremely capable of everything, especially of being funny as hell. Remind yourself this Woman Crush Wednesday of that. Catch some of the funniest women in Philly let it all out. | 8 pm. $16. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com TRIVIA

Kinky Quizzo

Finally – some toys you’ll actually play with. There’s no better way to woo someone than with dirty jokes and competitive trivia. Loser gets to do the receiving in the fun that will inevitably commence afterward. | Wednesday, 8:30 pm. Free. J.D. McGillicuddy’s, 473 Leverington Ave. facebook.com

MUSIC

People Food

Food is weird, man. We spent most of our waking hours needing it, only to shit it out a couple of hours later.

Whatever this band is serving has stuck around in our systems for quite a bit, and we’re hoping that we won’t be getting rid of them any time soon. | Wednesday, 8 pm. $8. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. eventbrite.com

JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

LGBTQ

Melangerie

Witness some killer performances from an all QPOC cast. This show aims to show

the talent and community of the performers who will candidly share their life experiences through their art. | 9 pm. $10. Franky Bradley’s, 1320 Chancellor St. eventbrite.com LGBTQ

Northeast LGBTQ Night Out

This isn’t limited to just one day of the week – inclusivity is celebrated every day at this friendly neighborhood bar. Witness art come alive on stage with a performance

by Mx D. Underwood. Feel free to come back every Wednesday if you want. | 4 pm. Free. SawTown Tavern, 4717 Princeton Ave. facebook.com

DANCE

Then Now Next

Expect to see some insane talent from high school students and internationally known dancers throughout the next four days. | 7:30 pm. $60. The Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org INTERESTS

Tell Me A Story: Heroes and Villains

Go to all the storytelling workshops you want, but the best way to learn how to tell a powerful tale is to just throw yourself out there. Come observe these storytellers as they tell crazy anecdotes that stick to the topic. Get up there if you’re feeling confident, but if not, just

come back for the next one. | 7:30 pm. $12. Shot Tower Coffee, 542 Christian St. facebook.com INTERESTS

Open Mic Night

There are no limits on the kind of talent that you can present at this open mic – seriously, none. Show us the next best jaw-dropping act this city has to offer. We love giving local artists a chance to flourish by plugging events where they can share their work. | 8 pm. Free. Connie’s Ric Rac, 1132 S. 9th St. facebook.com

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

COMEDY

Todd Glass

Glass has been a staple in the comedy scene ever since his first stand-up performance at 16. He’s like any other hard-working comedian – he’s appeared on late night, in his own Netflix special and in two comedy albums – but we think you’ll find his point of view refreshing. | Thursday, 8 pm. $18. Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St. philadelphia.heliumcomedy. com

THUR JANUARY 16

MUSIC

The Menzingers

We’ve loved these guys since the start, but we didn’t always know they were from Philly.

Guess that explains why we’ve connected with their energetic sound so much. Nothing can damper that Philly spirit, and these guys are here to prove that with a show in an intimate spot that’s more than likely to sell out. | 8 pm. $15. Boot and Saddle, 1131 S. Broad St. bootandsaddlephilly.com MUSIC

Kyle Sparkman

This ex-pat hailing from Philly and now based in France makes indie funk music that is the perfect soundtrack for vibing out. He’s back in the U.S. for a few shows and to perform his new single, “Homesick.” I guess we know now why he’s visiting. | 7:30 pm. $10. Ortlieb’s, 847 N. 3rd St. facebook.com

SHOW

La Maison Rose

A monthly show that sticks to the classic sexiness of the art of burlesque. Lelu Lenore is the producer and headliner that will make your hearts flutter. You don’t need any extra over-thetop themes to draw you into this show – if you appreciate burlesque as it is, you’ll love this. | 10 pm. $20. Franky Bradley’s, 1320 Chancellor St. eventbrite.com COMEDY

Next Slide, Please: A Show of Slideshows

Our PowerPoint-happy professors used to make our college classes so fucking monotonous. These comedians will bring some respect back to the most efficient way to present information. We can’t picture how this will go, but we guess you’ll have to wait for the next slide to figure it out. | 7:30 pm. $5. Philly Improv Theater, 2030 Sansom St.

ART

The Future of Art

This may depict exactly how you picture the future of art galleries to be. Art will be displayed using augmented reality technology, which will undoubtedly alter the limits of our physical reality. Trippy stuff. | 8 pm. Free. The Maas Building, 1325 N. Randolph St. facebook.com MUSIC

Ron Pope

We greatly appreciate artists like Pope who pour their souls into their songwriting.

It can’t be easy to go through life, then write it all down and relive it over and over again when recording in the studio and performing live. We’re just lucky to have reflective singersongwriters like Pope who live to open themselves up to us. | 8 pm. $25. The Foundry, 29 E. Allen St. thefillmorephilly.com

Best BETS Method Man and Redman

We’re sure you’re familiar with these guys - if you aren’t, there’s just no excuse.

They revolutionized the hip-hop genre by breaking out as solo artists after their time with the Wu Tang Clan and the Def Squad. Don’t take this lightly - rap royalty is coming to town. | Saturday, Jan. 11, 9 pm. $45. The Ave Live, 520 N. Columbus Blvd. eventbrite.com

Art Alexakis

This guy has led the alt-rock band Everclear to greatness throughout his music career. It’s now his time to find that same success with a solo run. Show some love for this living legend. | Sunday, Jan. 12, 8 pm. $24-$34. City Winery, 990 Filbert St. citywinery.com

Off Flavor Beer Tasting Class

In college, we only had three different kinds of beer to choose from: Bud Light, PBR or whatever was in the kegs. We didn’t learn how to pick up on all the little nuances in taste until we got fancy and started drinking at craft breweries. Can you pick up on the slightly off tastes in the brews offered at this tasting class? | Monday, Jan. 13, 7 pm. $25. Devil’s Den, 1148 S. 11th St. facebook.com

Blind Water Tasting

If you think all water tastes the same, we can’t be friends. It’s no secret that the water in Philly is instrumental in making all our delicious foods – water ice, Amoroso rolls, cheesesteaks… It’s important to also learn the effects that water has on making spirits, which is the whole point of this tasting. | Monday, Jan. 13, 6 pm. $20. Goose Island Brewhouse, 1002 Canal St. eventbrite.com

Really Funny Comedians (Who Happen to be Women)

Women are extremely capable of everything, especially of being funny as hell.

Remind yourself this Woman Crush Wednesday of that. Catch some of the funniest women in Philly let it all out. | Wednesday, Jan. 15, 8 pm. $16. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com

eventbrite.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020

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SAVAGE LOVE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Quickies Q: I have a question about porn, been-fucked, completely “wrecked” and I can’t think who else I can ask asshole many people feared ineviwho will give me an intelligent, edutably became something some peocated answer. In modern porn, anal ple found hot. And as more people on women is gaining popularity. I’m began experimenting with anal sex a fan of anal with my boyfriend.

– as anal went mainstream over the However, in porn, it seems like the last two decades – people realized gaping asshole is a thing, a sought that the anal sphincter is a muscle after thing, a desired thing. and the secret to successful anal And I guess my boyfriend and intercourse is learning to relax that I don’t get it. We can get quite vigmuscle. Situationally, not permaorous when we have anal sex, but nently. You could relax, get loose, MY butthole never gapes open like gape after, post the video to a porn that – my boyfriend assures me that tube, and then tighten back up. when he pulls out, it goes back to its Now, not everyone thinks a widecute little flower-like effect. open, gaping asshole is desirable. @FAKEDANSAVAGE Why is the gaping asshole so popAnd not everyone, in the immortal ular? I promise this is not a frivowords of Valerie Cherish, needs (or lous question or just for titillation. We really wants) to see that. do wonder: What gives?

Q: Honest question: If – Gaining Anal Peryou, being a homosexual, spective Entails Serious don’t die from HIV, will Question you have to wear a diaper It’s funny how a before the age of 42? chief fear about anal Optional question: sex – that your assWhat does a prolapsed hole would gape open rectum look like? I bet afterward and poop you can describe it withwould fall out while you out doing an image walked down the street – search. became eroticized. (The – Sickening Homosexuasshole gaping open als Are Malignant Errors part, not the poop falling Honest answers: I out part.) know you meant this Did I say funny, GAPESQ? I meant preto be hate mail, SHAME, but I’m just dictable. Because a big part of the collective thrilled someone out there thinks I’m not human subconscious is always at work erot42 yet. Also, I’m HIV-negative – last time I icizing our fears, and the gaping-open, just- checked – but even if I were to seroconvert (go

DAN SAVAGE

“Accommodating a partner’s irrational insecurity is sometimes the price we pay to make an otherwise healthy and functional relationship work.”

JANUARY 9 - 16, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

SAVAGE LOVE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY from HIV-negative to HIV-positive), a person with HIV who has access to meds can expect to live as long as a person without HIV. Also, a person with HIV who is on meds and has a zero viral load (no trace of the virus can be detected in their blood) cannot infect another person.

So even if I were to contract HIV after all these years, SHAME, I would likely live long enough to die of something else, and, once I got on meds, I couldn’t pass HIV on to anyone else.

And quickly: I’m way past 42 and not in a diaper yet, thank you very much.

And while some people think a prolapsed rectum looks like a rosebud, I happen to think a prolapsed rectum looks like a ball of lean hamburger. And the first one I ever saw – and, no, I didn’t need to do an image search because it makes a real impression – was in straight porn, not gay porn.

P.S. If you can’t think about gay men without thinking about our poops and the diapers you hope we’re wearing and our meaty prolapsed rectums, SHAME, that says a lot more about you than it does about gay people.

Q: My significant other wants me to delete any NSFW pictures of my exes, but I don’t feel comfortable with that.

I don’t have an emotional attachment to my exes or really look at these photos anymore, but I feel that old pictures saved on old computers aren’t doing any harm and deleting them won’t fix my partner’s insecurity.

– Personal Images Causing Strife Accommodating a partner’s irrational insecurity is sometimes the price we pay to make an otherwise healthy and functional relationship work, PICS, as I recently told another reader. But one possible workaround – one possible accommodation – is telling your insecure partner what they want to hear even if it isn’t true.

Telling a partner who is concerned about safety that you’re using condoms with others when you’re not isn’t OK, of course, just as telling a potential partner you’re single when you’re not isn’t OK. But telling a partner that you deleted photos you never look at on a password-protected computer they can’t look at… yeah, that’s a lie you don’t have to feel too awful about telling.

Q: How long after using an oil-based lubricant do I have to wait before I can safely use latex condoms? Not right after, presumably.

Next day? Next week? Next century?

I’ve been experimenting with oil-based CBD lube for hand/toy stuff, but I’m worried about

the timing relative to penetrative sex.

– Oily Inside “Oil and latex condoms do NOT mix, period,” said Melissa White, CEO of Lucky Bloke, an online condom shop, and a condom expert. “Using an oil-based lubricant with a condom can cause the condom to leak and/ or break. And unlike water-based lubes, oils do not evaporate readily. While oil is absorbed over time, that absorption rate likely varies based on many factors, including age. Oiling up internally? Now we’re talking vaginal versus anal absorption rates!

The bottom line: We have not found sufficient studies to issue a reliable recommendation on what an overall safe time frame might be. So here’s the deal: Oil or condoms – choose one.”

I would add only this: Condoms made out of polyurethane are more expensive, but you can safely use them with oilbased lube.

Q: I’m a straight guy who loves the female body – the look, touch, and smell. I’m in my mid-30s, I’ve never had a serious relationship, and I don’t know if I’m capable of falling in love.

I’m exclusively into trans women, and I’ve kept it a secret because it’s nobody’s business. If I were in love, I’d make it public, but that hasn’t happened.

I can’t help but feel like this is an addiction, and I’m ashamed of it. I’m sure I’m not the first straight guy who’s into trans women who’s written to you. Where do I go from here?

– Straight And Struggling While dating someone in secret isn’t impossible, SAS, it rarely leads to long-term love. Being kept hidden because you’re trans (or you’re gay or you’re big) and the person you’re dating hasn’t gotten over their shame about being attracted to trans people (or members of their own sex or bigger people)… well, it sucks to be someone’s dirty secret.

And a healthy trans (or gay or big) person – the kind of person you might be able to fall in love with – isn’t going to put up with that shit.

So it’s a catch-22: So long as you keep the women you date a secret, none of them are going to stay in your life for long. They’ll be either so damaged you want them out of your life or not damaged enough to want you in theirs.

On the Lovecast, the truth about human trafficking: savagelovecast.com.

“If you can’t think about gay men without thinking about our poops and the diapers you hope we’re wearing and our meaty prolapsed rectums, SHAME, that says a lot more about you than it does about gay people.”

THERE’S ALWAYS MORE OF SAVAGE TO LOVE! Read: PhillyWeekly.com Have a question?: mail@savagelove.net

NICE RACK

REACH OUT TO US. Carry PW’s at your spot. drops@philadelphiaweekly.com.

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 9 - 16, 2020

32

MARKETPLACE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

MARKETPLACE PHILA FLEA MARKETS Recent Flea Market

General Employment

Non-CDL Drivers

Wanted

Paratransit Operations

$400

Sign-On Bonus

Immediate Positons Available / Paid Training / Benefit package Match of salary with experience!

Flexible Shifts Available • Safety Bonus Incentives • Great Company Culture

INDOOR ANTIQUE & VINTAGE MARKET

SATURDAY, JANUARY 11TH Penns Landing Caterers

Apply in Person Monday through Friday • 9:00am to 3:00pm 4201 Tacony Street, Philadelphia, PA 19124 | 215-992-8000 Apply online:www.philly.totalbusco.com

Inside The Sheet Metal Workers Union Building 1301 S. Columbus Blvd., Phila, PA 19147

Assistant Teacher Position CHILDCARE ASSISTANT

But Early Birds Are Welcome!

We are looking for nurturing and loving caregivers for our infant and toddler classes. Full time and Part time positions are available at ALL of our Alphabet centers.

EXPERIENCE PREFERRED PAY-RATE BASED ON EXPERIENCE AND CREDENTIALS CALL 215-595-2250 EMAIL A RESUME TO AMANDA@ALPHABETACADEMY.COM

1340 South 13th Street Phila, PA 19147 LEARN, LOVE, AND GROW WITH US!

General Employment

General Employment

AB MALE BLOOD DONORS NEEDED Will be compensated up to $85.00 for a complete donation, starting on their 2nd visit!!

In order to donate you need: Valid picture ID. SSI card Be between 18 & 70 yrs. old.

Be in good health. Walk-ins are welcome. New donors will be paid $40.00 for a full donation.

INTERSTATE BLOOD BANK 1250 N. BROAD STREET. PHILA PA. 19121 215-765-2554

Plumbers/Carpenters/Helpers Immediate openings- must have experience & valid drivers lic 215-342-7200

BLOOD DONORS All donors paid $40.00 No appointment necessary.

Walk-ins welcome. Must be healthy and have proper I.D. Must provide Social Security card.Interstate Blood Bank 1250-52 N Broad St. Phila PA 19121 215-765-2554 Hrs. 7:00 AM - 3:30 PM

GENERAL AND TREATMENT FOSTER PARENTS NEEDED Open your heart and home to children of all ages New Foundations, Inc. 215-203-8733 www.nfi4kids.org

FLAGGERS ($12.50/hr) Traffic Plan seeks Flaggers to set up and direct traffic around construction sites. A valid PA driver license and clean driving record a must, good pay and benefits. If interested please fill out an application at 510 Hertzog Blvd, King of Prussia, PA on Mondayʼs 9am - 12pm or online at trafficplan.com.

HOME IMPROVEMENT Windows

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Shutters, 2-Inch Wood, Pleated Shades, Roman Shades, Drapes, Verticals, Mini-Blinds Discount Price With Installation

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JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

8AM - 4PM

Antiques, Collectibles, Vintage Jewelry & Fashion, Home Furnishings, Textiles, Art Work, & So Much More!

break up?

PW Classifieds is a great place to sell your ex’s stuff.

Free Parking • Free Admission • ATM • Food Court • Handicap Accessible

215-625-FLEA (3532) • www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org REAL ESTATE Garages for Rent/Sale

PACKER PARK- near sports complex. 1 & 2 car garage for rent. Avail now 215-467-0495

Sell with PW Classifieds classifieds@philadelphiaweekly.com

FOR RENT Apartments for Rent

16XX SNYDER AVE. 1BR, 2nd flr., No Pets. $885/mo.+. 484-753-2013

21ST & PINE AREA- Lg. Studio, wood floors, sep. eat-in kit., $900+cooking gas & elec., heat incl. 215-384-4202 8500 BUSTLETON AVE. Corner of Evart St. Winter Special 1BR $875, 2BR $1,100, water & gas incld. 215-742-2261

Grant Garden Apartments Winter Special, upgraded 1 & 2 BR,1 BA. $750 - $980 includes water. Laundry room on site.

Off of Blvd. 215-464-6411

NOTICES Legal Notices

Notice of Public Sale: The following self-storage Cube contents containing household and other goods will be sold for cash by CubeSmart, 456 N. Christopher Columbus Blvd., Philadelphia PA 19123 (215)922-3715 to satisfy a lien on January 13th, 2020 at approx. 8:00 PM: www.storagetreasures.com: A019 Damar K Been C265 Thomas Rafter F572 Kenneth Fry

Sell with PW Classifieds

Sell with PW Classifieds

classifieds@philadelphiaweekly.com

classifieds@philadelphiaweekly.com

classifieds@philadelphiaweekly.com

REAL ESTATE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Kathy & Patrick Conway

211 MANTON ST. PENNSPORT

Great Reduction Open Saturday and Sunday Come by And See All Our New Upgrades. Fabulous Corner Property - 1300 Sq. Ft. 3 Story 3 bedroom + Den and a Lovely Garden $299,900

t

717 S. COLUMBUS BLVD. PH11 DOCKSIDE QUEENS VILAGE

Open This Weekend North Facing Penthouse - Wow! Rarely Available. Surely a Trophy Unit Far Out in the Water. Incredible Views 1 Car Garage Parking Included. 852 Sq Ft + a Private Balcony

Reduced $399,000

33

717 S. COLUMBUS BLVD. #507 DOCKSIDE QUEENS VILAGE

For Rent A Beautiful North Facing 1304 Sq. Ft. 2 Bedroom 2 Bath, Gorgeous Cherry Floors T?O + a Balcony 1 Car Garage Parking Included VIEWS, VIEWS, VIEWS

Furnished - $3,450 Unfurnished $3,250

We know real estate.

We know the City.

Check Out These Great Rentals

215.266.1537 215.850.3842 215.627.6005 conwayteam@gmail.com

MAIN LINE SUBURBS

311 E. Girard Ave. - Fishtown - Large Store Front, 3 Bedroom 2.5 Bath, Hardwood Floors + Fabulous New Deck and Garden $2,100 2223 Rosewood St. - Passyunk Square - Great 3 Bedroom Rehab, Finished Basement + Garden $1,600 Reduced

CENTER CITY PHILA.

WILLIAM PENN HOUSE 1919 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia • Rittenhouse Square • Rooftop Pool • Fitness Center • Valet parking • 24 hr security

713 WAVERLY ROAD, BRYN MAWR

3900 FORD ROAD, 21S, PHILADELPHIA

• 24 hr Maintenance

4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 3,526 SQ FT | $989,000

2 BED | 1.1 BATH | 1,230 SQ FT | $138,500

• All utilities included • Includes real estate tax no transfer tax

MAIN LINE SUBURBS

788 PANORAMA RD, Villanova

LISTINGS

4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 3,185 SQ FT | $749,500

3141 SPRING MILL RD, Plymouth Meeting 4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 5,029 SQ FT | $1,379,000

1124 YOUNGSFORD RD, Gladwyne 5 BED | 4.3 BATH | 6,144 SQ FT | $1,325,000

1351 BOBARN DR, Penn Valley 5 BED | 4.1 BATH | 7,547 SQ FT | $1,099,000

39 FAIRVIEW RD, Penn Valley

PHILADELPHIA

Unit #2904 3 BED | 2 BATH | 1,404 SQ FT | $750,000

39 ABERDALE RD, Bala Cynwyd

JUST REDUCED

Unit #923/924 3 BED | 2 BATH | 1,581 SQ FT | $499,000

6 BED | 3.2 BATH | 3,750 SQ FT | $749,500

2224 CARPENTER ST, Philadelphia

Unit #2720 2 BED | 1 BATH | 1,134 SQ FT | $465,000

200 S NARBERTH AVE, Narberth

3 BED | 2.1 BATH | 1,455 SQ FT | $475,000

Unit #814 2 BED | 1 BATH | 825 SQ FT | $350,000

MULTI-FAMILY | 0.29 ACRES | $735,000

519 SPRUCE LN, Villanova 3 BED | 3 BATH | 2,750 SQ FT | $675,000

424 DEVEREUX DR, Villanova LOT | 0.68 ACRES | $665,000

207 LINDY LN, Bala Cynwyd

LISTINGS

THE KENNEDY HOUSE

500 KINGSLEY CT, Philadelphia

or sales@philadelphiaweekly.com

1901 JFK Blvd, Philadelphia

3 BED | 3.1 BATH | 2,000 SQ FT | $490,400

809 LATONA ST, Philadelphia

406 BRYN MAWR AVE, Bala Cynwyd

4802 RENOIR LN, Schwenksville

3 BED | 1 BATH | 1,288 SQ FT | $299,000

1417 CENTENNIAL RD, Penn Valley

1305 SUMMER HILL LN, Gladwyne LOT | 0.5 ACRES | $150,000

5 BED | 3.1 BATH | 4,371 SQ FT | $849,900

421 OLD GULPH RD, Penn Valley 4 BED | 2.2 BATH | 3,197 SQ FT | $799,000

2369 PINEVIEW DR, Malvern 5 BED | 3 BATH | 2,666 SQ FT | $785,000

MAIN LINE CONDOS 190 PRESIDENTIAL BLVD, #415, BALA CYNWYD 2 BED | 2.1 BATH | 1,970 SQ FT | $625,000

1750 OAKWOOD TER, UNIT#1A, PENN VALLEY 2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,299 SQ FT | $227,000

Sales

215-543-3743 ext. 104

2 BED | 2 BATH | 990 SQ FT | $269,900

4 BED | 4.1 BATH | 5,393 SQ FT | $569,000

5 BED | 4.1 BATH | 4,258 SQ FT | $549,000

To advertise in this section contact

Unit #510 1 BED | 1 BATH | 825 SQ FT | $310,000

2504 S AMERICAN ST, Philadelphia

6 BED | 5.1 BATH | 6,281 SQ FT | $1,050,000

6 BED | 2.1 BATH | 3,035 SQ FT | $899,999

Unit #1914 1 BED | 1 BATH | 495 SQ FT | $320,000

PW REAL ESTATE

• Rittenhouse Square • Rooftop Pool • Fitness Center • Parking

3598 INDIAN QUEEN LN, Philadelphia

• 24 HR Security

4 BED | 1 BATH | 1,776 SQ FT | $280,000

• 24 HR Maintenance

224-30 W RITTENHOUSE SQ, #1017, Philadelphia

• All Utilities Included

1 BED | 1 BATH | 570 SQ FT | $275,000

• Includes Real Estate Tax

#1024-1025 2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,165 SQ FT | $475,000 Unit #1919 1 BED | 1 BATH | 606 SQ FT | $219,000 Unit#1819 1 BED | 1 BATH | 606 SQ FT | $199,000 3900 FORD RD, #23B, Philadelphia Unit #1512 STUDIO | 1 BATH | 475 SQ FT | $175,000 2 BED | 3 BATH | 2,000 SQ FT | $199,900 Unit#2911 STUDIO | 1 BATH | 522 SQ FT | $174,900 1141 DALY ST, Philadelphia

3 BED | 1.1 BATH | 1,100 SQ FT | $265,000

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020

34

REAL ESTATE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY Open Sunday 1 - 3 | 510 Manton St

Under Contract | Point Breeze

Newly renovated townhome located in Dickinson Narrows.

Walk into the spacious living area followed by the separate kitchen with grey cabinetry, plenty of cabinet space, quartz countertops, stainless steel appliance package and the entrance to the nicely sized backyard. On the main floor you will also find built-in shelves, an extra closet and a powder room. This home also featuresbeautiful bamboo floors and recessed lighting throughout. 3 BR | 2.5 BA

Welcome home! Enter into the living space with the open floor concept. The grande kitchen includes a HUGE double waterfall island, a wine fridge, grey multi-toned cabinetry, and stone backsplash with antique glass outline for a unique look. This home has it all with light hardwood floors, ceiling fans, a wet bar, a Nest Thermostat, outlets with USB ports, as well as a backyard, a roof deck with skyline views, and a 10 year tax abatement!

$489,000

New Price | Brewerytown Beautiful 3 BR, 1 BA home tucked away on a quiet and peaceful block. This home is extremely well-taken care of. The 1st floor of this home has an open floor plan with beautiful hardwood floors and charming original detail balance with a modern kitchen with stainless steel appliances.Enjoy the back patio for outdoor dining and relaxing.

$239,900

New Price | Spring Arts This spacious and comfortable home features beautiful character, craftsmanship and original details like high ceilings, exposed brick, marble mantels, ornate crown molding and 8” baseboards. Classic, traditional layout with tons of character and original wooden details. The 3rd floor ‘master’ bedroom includes a vaulted ceiling with skylights and a full bathroom. Wonderful outdoor spaces out back and on the roof deck with city views. 3 BR | 3 BA

$519,000

$565,000

Open Saturday 12 - 1:30 | 2001 Waverly St Welcome home to this beautifully designed, 5 bedroom, 5.2 bathroom estate. From the impressive exterior to the well thought-out interior, this stunner features elevator access on each floor, a 2-car garage, an outdoor roof deck, and 6.5 years remaining on the tax abatement! The chef’s kitchen is a dream with it’s sleek design and high-end Thermador stainless steel appliances, and a huge quartz waterfall island.

$2,800,000

Open Saturday 1 - 3 | 1123 N. Hancock St Welcome home to this beautiful new construction in Northern Liberties. Walk into your large living room as you’re welcomed by huge windows in the front and back of the home. The open concept flows right into your dining room and stunning eat-in kitchen, which includes a large island with waterfall quartz countertops. Off the kitchen is the entrance to the large backyard. Enjoy the stunning roof deck. 10 year tax abatement pending. 3 BR | 3.5 BA

$699,900

PW REAL ESTATE To advertise in this section contact Sales

215-543-3743 ext. 104 or sales@philadelphiaweekly.com

JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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SWEET BOX your first home should be an enjoyable experience. One you remember for all the right reasons. Family-owned for more than 50 years, Solo Real Estate provides the support and services you need, house is a deciregret.

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PW REAL ESTATE

To advertise in this section contact Sales

215-543-3743 ext. 104 or sales@philadelphiaweekly.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 9 – 16, 2020

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