Philadelphia Weekly 12-12-12

DECEMBER 12 - 18, 2012 • PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM

INSIDE: BUNNY SIGLER ON CHRISTMAS SONGS SPUN BY ILL VIBE HOBBITS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SHORT

THE CITY THAT WAS FADING PAINT STILL ECHOES THE DETAIL OF PHILLY’S PAST.

THE FISCAL CLIFF, TIM BURTON BURLESQUE & MORE

2.28.13

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CONTENTS // DEC. 1218

1500 Sansom St. I 3rd Floor Philadelphia, PA I 215.563.7400 Classified Advertising: 215.563.1234 Classified Fax: 215.563.6799

Editor in Chief Stephen H. Segal Senior Editor Nina Hoffmann Managing Editor Anastasia Barbalios Arts & Culture Editor Sheena Lester Senior Writer Tara Murtha Staff Writer Randy LoBasso Art Director Drew Phillips Contributing Writers Jeffrey Barg, Leah Blewett, Sean Burns, Bryan Bierman, Bill Chenevert, Nicole Finkbiner, Brian Freedman, Craig D. Lindsey, Rosella Eleanor LaFevre, Hayden Mitman, Jennifer Kelly, Cristina Perachio, J.F. Pirro, Matt Prigge, J. Cooper Robb, Katherine Rochester, Annamarya Scaccia, Katherine Silkaitis, Tonya Pendleton Contributing Photographers Jeff Fusco, Felicia Perretti, J.R. Blackwell, Karrisa Olsen, Ashley Catharine Smith Editorial Interns Jessica Foley, Lindsay Kenney, Jordyn Kline, Caroline Newton, Jenine Pilla, Anthony Trivelli Advertising Director Amy Stoller (ext. 144) Retail Senior Account Executive Deidre Simms (ext. 163) Retail Account Executives Brittany Bayer (ext. 159), Ray Cross (ext. 164), Monica Kanninen (ext. 145), Brittany Resnick (ext. 149), MaryKate Valdini (ext. 125)

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FEATURE

10 I THE CITY THAT WAS In a new book, graphic designer Lawrence O’Toole chases down the history of Philadelphia’s faded outdoor advertisements.

PHILLY NOW 8 I NEWS BRIEFS

How the fiscal cliff could impact Philly. Also: The food stamp challenge; a photographer in Kensington.

ARTS & CULTURE 22 I CALENDAR

Matisyahu; The Roast of Joe Sixpack; Tim Burton Burlesque; and more things to do this week in Philly.

FOOD 26 I SAVORY AND SUCCULENT

The Mildred conjures vegetables and meats to pure seasonal perfection.

STAGE 30 I ESCAPE TO RIVER CITY

The Walnut Street Theatre’s superb The Music Man is a lively diversion from the holiday season’s stresses.

ART 32 I A BREAK FROM THE NORM Chelsea Pearce’s Moon & Arrow boldly bridges art, style and commerce.

SCREEN 34 I THE HOBBIT

Peter Jackson’s long-awaited fantasy trilogy is a bloated, entirely unnecessary cash-grab prequel.

MUSIC 38 I WHEN BUNNY MET DAVEY

Legendary Philly songwriter Bunny Sigler reviews Christmas songs picked by Ill Vibe’s Lil’ Dave Adams.

REVIEWS 40 I IN 30 SECONDS OR LESS!

Portlandia, Dave & Aaron Go to Work, Two and a Half Men, Ke$ha and more.

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44 I ADULT 46 I SAVAGE LOVE 47 I CLASSIFIEDS 49 I REAL ESTATE 51 I OPEN HOUSE

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SEEING RED

In response to Randy LoBasso’s article about the possibility of a medical marijuana bill in 2013:

In response to Randy LoBasso’s blog post about N.J.’s red-light cameras:

I am a retired Marine and a war veteran. I believe that cannabis is the safest treatment for PTSD, pain management and migraines associated with a traumatic brain injury. I have been treated with lots of medications that made me worse off—suicidal thoughts and many other side effects. Look at the suicide rates of veterans. Legal drugs are part of that problem. Cannabis does not have those side effects. Pennsylvania laws should look like Colorado laws.

Red-light cameras are making roads safer and saving lives in Philadelphia. These devices are an important part of our city’s traffic safety program, so it’s important for people to have the full facts so they can understand the positive impact of the Red Light Camera Program.

A popular assertion by those opposed to the implementation of the program is that the technology results in an increase in rearend-type crashes. But according to the 2011 Pennsylvania State Transportation Advisory Committee Report, rear-end crashes actually decreased 16 percent at 10 Philadelphia intersections with red-light cameras in operation for three years. And long-term studies show, there are fewer rear-end crashes today than before cameras were installed at intersections along Roosevelt Boulevard. What’s most critical is once cameras go up, the most dangerous and most deadly right-angle traffic collisions go down. T-bone crashes have decreased 32 percent at intersections with red light cameras in operation for at least three years, according to the report.

It’s important to understand the difference between the numbers provided by PPA and the Philadelphia Police Department. The data is the same. But the numbers being released by the PPD may be higher due to the fact that they include all accidents within the area of Grant and the Boulevard, which would include parking lot accidents or accidents that actually occur half-way down the street.

Red-light running puts everyone in danger—including other drivers, pedestrians and cyclists. Safety is the top priority of this program and there is proof that intersections are safer once cameras are present.

ANONYMOUS via philadelphiaweekly.com

I am a Pennsylvania resident who has used cannabis to treat a lung disorder and asthma for 31 years now. It allows me to breath in a deep, un-labored breath. I’m a patient with no legal access to a natural medicine that helps me to breath. I have tried every medication that Big Pharma offers. All the medications have a string of side effects and other medications to treat the side effects. Here is the short list of why I don’t use them: nausea, shaking, loss of appetite, sped-up heart rate, anxiousness. None of them open up my airways to relaxed, deep breathing like cannabis.

Legalize it, tax it and stop making sick people criminals.

MAX via philadelphiaweekly.com

Pennsylvania needs to pull together and make this happen. It would mean comfort and freedom from addictive pharmaceuticals for so many people. All they need is a naturally, not chemically formed, plant. So simple, it can be a relief from prescription costs, and older citizens who can’t handle dangerous painkillers and sedatives. How many people have overdosed from a little marijuana? How many drunk driving type stories have you heard? Alcohol is far more dangerous, do the research, get educated.

ANONYMOUS via philadelphiaweekly.com

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PHILLYNOW [KENSINGTON]

Surviving the Ave, and Themselves A photographer’s powerful storytelling blog, Kensington Blues, documents the hardships in Philly’s roughest neighborhood. hen he’s not running his fine-art inkjet printing business in the Vox Building on Wood Street, Jeffrey Stockbridge spends most of his free time beneath the El along Kensington Avenue, or, as it’s more commonly referred to, “the Ave.” The 30-year-old isn’t a part of the drug trade, which is what most Philly residents think of when Kensington comes up in conversation. He’s just there to take pictures and ask questions. A lot of them.

He organizes his material and ideas on his blog, Kensington Blues, a documentary project that formed in 2008 to spotlight “how people survive along the Avenue, how they survive the drug use, and how they survive themselves.”

Stockbridge, a professional photographer and 2005 Drexel grad, started Kensington Blues as a citywide project, but quickly realized where his attention needed to be. “I was taking photographs around Philadelphia of the interiors of abandoned houses and the

people I would meet,” he says. “I met a woman who was selling sex for drugs in an abandoned house, and she told me about Kensington, the avenue specifically, where there were large numbers of women who were doing the same thing.” And so he took to the streets of the neighborhood. Soon, Kensington Blues became a powerful collection of photographs, journal entries and Q&As with the people who find cold comfort in these nooks under the El. Through first-person storytelling, Stockbridge attempts to show the lives of many Philadelphians only a few train stops away. He says the blog should serve as a portal for “encouraging compassion for one another despite the vast differences between us.”

And they are vast. But it’s clear that those living beneath the El have created a community of their own—one that’s surrounded by hard drug use, violence and prostitution, but a

[HUNGER]

community nonetheless. “One person I photographed said it doesn’t matter how fucked up I am, if I walk down the avenue I know I’ll see somebody who is more fucked up than me,” Stockbridge says. “There’s an odd sort of companionship that comes along with that ideology, but it’s there … it’s a family in a way.”

Matt, a homeless drug abuser, first took the El to Kensington 10 years ago. He has never left. Like many people who live along the Ave, Matt opens up to Stockbridge about his hardships. (Stockbridge says most people want to share their stories after they hear about his project.) “Under the train tracks, the shit that goes on in the woods, the shit that goes on while this train is driving by above our heads, the things that go on these streets at night when the lights go off, are the kind of things that ... people can only dream about.”

Then there’s Janette, who tells Stockbridge about her troubles through a hand-written

journal entry. “He asked me to smoke crack with him then wigged out,” she writes in purple marker, “and handcuffed me to his steering wheel, pistol whipped me, and knocked out my front teeth and cracked my head open—26 stitches.”

Stockbridge says his ultimate goal with Kensington Blues is not yet determined. This past summer, he worked with a documentary filmmaker on a short that will be released in near future. Many of his photographs have appeared in galleries worldwide, and his work is set to appear in an upcoming group show at Bucks County Community College. But until then, he’s content to spend his time along the Ave. “It keeps calling me back, I can’t leave. I’m constantly intrigued by the neighborhood, I just can’t quit it.” (Jenine Pilla) See more of Jeffrey Stockbridge’s work on kensingtonblues.com.

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PW Staff Writer Randy LoBasso Begins the Food Stamp Challenge he holidays are coming up, and for lots of us, that means time with our families, a day or two off work and a general massive increase in food consumption. But for the 473,037 people in Philadelphia (31 percent of the city’s population) who rely on food stamps (now called the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program), things aren’t always so dandy. According to statistics by the Hunger Coalition, the average food stamp recipient in Philadelphia gets $5 a day to spend on food. Which, if I’m calculating correctly, is about two slices of pizza, and maybe a drink.

Or, one latte. Or, 3/5 of a burrito. Or, one craft beer. Or … you get the idea.

Earlier this year, from April 23-29, several area politicians, leaders and journalists took what’s called the “Food Stamp Challenge,” in which they attempted to live on just $5 a day. And Newark, N.J., mayor Cory Booker is currently participating in a challenge of his own. The challenges have been brought on for several reasons. One of which is the gigantic amount of criticism those who receive food stamps often get. Take former presidential candidate Newt Gingrich’s insistence that President Obama is the “food stamp president” because the Great Recession saw a record number of Americans relying on food stamps over the last five years. And those who

receive public assistance are often cast aside by the American right as lazy abusers of the system. Or, just as often, it’s argued that they should receive less support because (choose one: communism is the worst/the free market is the best/Darwinism).

So, with some of that in mind, Tuesday marked the day I began living on $5 a day.

PW’s arts and culture editor, Sheena Lester, is joining me (solidarity!) in the challenge. The guidelines, as we understand them, are as follows: we have $35 to spend for the week; there is no dining out (because food stamps cannot be spent at restaurants in Pennsylvania); we cannot eat food we’ve already purchased; we can’t accept free food; and we have to keep track of our receipts.

On Monday, I made my first food purchase for the week: pita, bread, cheese, tomato sauce, pasta, peanut butter, jelly, milk, butter, oats, bananas. (By the way, I am a vegetarian.)

It all cost $27.64 at the Superfresh on 180 W. Girard Ave. in Northern Liberties (I saved $4.96 with a discount card), which means I still have about $6 to spend on anger/stress foods throughout the week. Let’s see what happens. (Randy LoBasso) Visit phillynow.com to check on how Randy is faring with the food stamp challenge.

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THE NEW YEAR’S EVE WEEK PULLOUT SUPPLEMENT

ISSUE DATE: WEDNESDAY,12/26/12 DEADLINE: WEDNESDAY, 12/19/12 Philadelphia Weekly is proud to partner with DRWC and GPTMC and present The New Year’s Eve Week pullout supplement.

Your ad will appear in 83,000 copies of Philadelphia Weekly and 10,000 overrun distribution at the River Rink that week!

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PHILLYNOW [POLITRICKS]

[QUOTES OF THE WEEK]

Here’s what could happen to city services in 2013 if Congress doesn’t take action.

“I’m an operator for SEPTA. I’m a human being.”

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Is Philly Falling Off the Fiscal Cliff? he problem with the fiscal cliff—well, other than the fact that most people don’t know what the hell it is—is that there is no plan to avoid falling off it—yet. What’s certain is that if nothing is done, all our taxes will go up. There will be deep cuts in government programs. Consumer spending could fall by about $200 billion nationwide. And we’d be headed toward another recession in early 2013. Happy New Year!

The fiscal cliff is the term used to describe when the Budget Control Act of 2011 goes into effect: Jan. 1. The act marks the end of the across-the-board Bush-era tax cuts, and the cutting of more than 1,000 government programs. In August of last year, Congress created a so-called super committee as part of the Budget Control Act of 2011. Their goal: Come up with a plan to lower the deficit by $1.2 trillion in 10 years. Their result: complete and total failure. And, as reward for their failure, we won a worst-case compromise consisting of massive government program cuts and massive tax hikes to coincide with costly Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act regulations, also taking effect on Jan. 1. To top it off, some worry the U.S. may reach its debt ceiling by the end of the year.

Now Democrats want to restore spending cuts and middle-class tax cuts while raising taxes on the rich. Republicans want to extend the Bush tax cuts, which make up about 40 percent of American debt, and cut entitlements. Sound familiar? It’s the same thing the parties have been arguing about since, well, forever.

So, you may be asking how all of this affects you. On Monday, Mayor Nutter provided specifics on what Philly programs would be cut, and how much: “Cuts to public health would mean that the city would clean 100 fewer homes for lead, reducing services to as many as 300 lead-poisoned children.” He added: “Eighty homeowners facing foreclosure would not get counseling, potentially adding $1.6 million to the city’s homeless system.”

That’s not all. The city could also see the cutting of 400 student slots and 30 teachers and classroom aides from the education program Head Start, and $1 million in Homeland Security funds. And Nutter says nothing can be done to deal with any of this if the Budget Control Act does go into effect. “It would be virtually impossible to … absorb the level of cuts that we’re talking about,” said the mayor, who actually brokered the only bipartisan piece of writing surrounding the ordeal: a letter from the U.S. Conference of Mayors urging a vague bipartisan resolution that (conceivably)

—SEPTA driver in a video created by the transit authority in an effort to show that bus drivers are people, too, and should not be attacked while on the job. Assaults on SEPTA operators are down this year, but union members say the authority could do more to protect them. Story on phillynow.com

“Maybe [I’ll get 4 feet] on streets like Market or Broad.

But usually it’s a foot and a half, or less. Inches maybe.”

—Bike messenger who says drivers don't exactly give bicyclists the space they need. Last week, City Council passed the Complete Streets Bill, and, if signed by Nutter, will mean no more cars parking or opening doors in your bike lanes, and no more bikes blowing through red lights and stop signs (a $50-$75 fine all around). Full story on phillynow.com

Neighborhood Watch both raises taxes on the rich and makes some spending cuts. “These are serious matters that affect cities all across the United States of America,” Nutter told CNN last month. “You cannot solely cut your way out of the amount of debt that we have, and this issue must be addressed. The most important issue is that the middle-class tax cuts should be voted on right now by the Congress.”

On the federal level, we’re looking at massive cuts to education (surprise!), police, HIV and AIDS treatment services, and more.

The situation is constantly changing, so it’s hard to foresee how such drastic cuts— paired with many Philadelphians’ water bills and property taxes already scheduled to increase in 2013—would affect us immediately.

“It’s not clear that [cuts to city programs] will happen right away,” says Terry Gillen, head of the office of federal affairs in the Nutter administration. Or if they’ll affect the city’s current fiscal year. “We just don’t know any of that.” Still, she says, “There’s no question that

those programs are on the chopping block if there’s no compromise by January. I would say since the election [we’re] probably getting a little more optimistic that the sequester can be avoided ... we’re hoping that cuts to programs like Head Start can be avoided.”

Republicans, of course, see things differently. The conservative-leaning U.S. Chamber of Commerce claims any tax cuts that go into effect in January 2013 will lead to a direct, proportionate removal of cash into the economy. More money into the government means fewer people spending money in the free market—about $600 billion less in 2013 alone, the Chamber claims.

“In January, we’ll assess where the feds are,” Gillen says. And when they do, there will likely be another crisis to worry about. Can I get a debt ceiling debate up in this jawn?

(Randy LoBasso)

Today, the Philadelphia Association of Community Development Corporations will host a conference in City Hall to publicize a new report showing the impact CDCs have had on local communities. CDCs are nonprofits aimed at helping residents through things like community organizing, education and obtaining real-estate. The New Kensington CDC, for example, worked with Wells Fargo this year to help low-income city residents receive up to $15,000 for a down payment on a new home. According to the report, CDCs (there are 43) have created thousands of jobs and more than $3.3 billion over the last 20 years. If you’re interested in getting involved in your own neighborhood, or just want to know what your CDC has done for you lately, this is your chance.

(Randy LoBasso)

Stay up to date on the fiscal cliff on phillynow.com.

Wed., Dec. 12. 1pm. Free. Philadelphia City Hall, Room 202. PACDC.org

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In a new book, graphic designer Lawrence O’Toole chases down the history of Philadelphia’s faded outdoor advertisements, building an urban portrait out of echoes of the city

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that once was.

city’s faded painted advertisements—the ghosts of a lost urban landscape—are history in plain sight. They are tangible ways to tell the histories of changing neighborhoods, industries and ways of life. The goal of my new book, Fading Ads of Philadelphia, was to capture just a few of the examples of the fading signage and advertisements in this city and to include them as part of an archive intended to document and share these images. But beyond simply documenting the images, I hoped to attach whatever interesting and relevant historical information and personal stories I could find to help place these interesting artifacts in context, so that the memory of these signs can be preserved before they are lost altogether.

There aren’t many advertising practices that have been in use longer than that of the sign, whose history is nearly as old as the history of civilized man, spanning some 5,000 years. We find imagery and words on establishments in the ruins of Roman and Greek structures. We find the inscriptions of builders and pharaohs on buildings from Egyptian antiquity. It is fitting, then, to discover that display advertising

in Philadelphia is at least as old as, if not older than, our very nation itself. Even before printing became common practice throughout the colonies, hand-lettered signs and carved symbols were used by businesses to advertise their wares.

Turn-of-the-century photographs of Philadelphia storefronts on Market Street and Broad Street show buildings literally blanketed in signage and lettering advertising wares and services. Every window, every column and every flat expanse of brick was put to use—even the roofs held dimensional metal signage. It is hard to imagine these days all those images and slogans vying for the attention of the pedestrian walking down the street. It must have been something bewildering and wonderful to witness, much like seeing modern Times Square in person for the first time.

Today, many faded ads are visible around the city, dating from the late 1800s through the 1960s: weathered, painted signs heralding an obsolete product, an outdated trademark or a clue as to a building’s history. In many cases with older signs, white is the only color remaining, as the white lead paint deteriorated slower

than the other colored paints used in the signmaking process.

They have been called “ghost signs,” a term that’s doubly appropriate. Some faded ads can reappear on walls when the light is just right, after a rainstorm or when the viewer had observed the sign long enough to decipher what at first seems to be unintelligible remnants of paintbrush strokes. And there’s also the phenomenon of rediscovering painted advertisements that were obscured or completely covered by an adjacent building and forgotten.

A restoration or demolition suddenly reveals them again, in vivid color or detail, if only for a short while—the aesthetic equivalent of seeing a ghost.

While the mechanization and computerization of the sign trade has been both a blessing and curse, hand lettering and sign painting is not a dead art. There has been a resurgence of interest in lettering, and a renewed interest in more humanistic approaches to letterforms in art and design over the past few years, and as such there has been renewed interest in signs and their history. As both a designer and sign collector, I sincerely hope the trend continues.

The Gretz smokestack, located atop the brewery complex, advertised Gretz beer to all of North Philadelphia.

The brewery was busy from the 1880s until the 1960s, with only a short break while it was closed during Prohibition.

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Klosfit Petticoat

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309 Arch Street

High up on the side of this cast-iron façade building near the corner of Third and Arch streets, you can find a faintly visible ad for “Klosfit Petticoat.”The ad is badly deteriorated, but we can still make out the phrase “Fits without any wrinkles” painted below. There are also the faint remnants of an illustration at left, presumably of one of the undergarments that made Klosfit a household name in the early 1900s.

The building was constructed in 1875 as the Klosfit Petticoat factory. Patented in 1907, the Klosfit petticoat is a skirt-like

undergarment that differed from others of the time in that it did away with the customary and annoying drawstrings that puckered and gathered and instead made use of elastics for a more composed dressing appearance. In city archive images, we see that this ad space was used to advertise for other clothing companies in later years, so it would seem the building has long housed businesses associated with garment manufacture. In the 1980s, the building was renovated into condos and renamed “The Hoopskirt Factory” to reflect its original purpose.

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The exhibition is made possible by The Pew Center for Arts & Heritage through the Philadelphia Exhibitions Initiative. Additional support is generously provided by the John S. and James L. Knight Foundation, The Women’s Committee of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, Glenstone, The Presser Foundation, the Dedalus Foundation, The Robert Saligman Charitable Foundation, Dr. Sankey V. Williams and Constance H. Williams, Dina and Jerry Wind, John Wind, Barbara B. and Theodore R. Aronson, Christie’s, Mary S. and Anthony B. Creamer, Jaimie and David Field, Lawrence Luhring and Roland Augustine, Seda International Packaging Group, Mari and Peter Shaw, Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Levine, Alice Saligman and Klaus Brinkmann, and other generous individuals. The exhibition is supported by an indemnity from the Federal Council on the Arts and the Humanities. Support for the accompanying publication is generously provided by Larry Gagosian. IMAGE: Dancer Carolyn Brown in Walkaround Time (1968). Choreography by Merce Cunningham and stage set and costumes by Jasper Johns. Photograph © 1972 by James Klosty

John Evans’ Sons, Inc. 13th and Nectarine streets

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John Evans, a blacksmith by trade, originally produced flat suspension springs for horse-drawn buggies and carriages, as well as the machinery and apparatus to produce these products. His business began in New Haven, Conn., in 1850. Yielding to the continued insistence by Philadelphia Spring Works, one of his largest customers, Evans moved his operation from New Haven to Philadelphia.

The business arrived at this building, located at the corner of 13th and Nectarine streets, and it would reside here from 1870 until 1967. Still in business today, the company is operating just outside the city in the suburb of Lansdale. It is America’s oldest spring-making company.

The building is covered in nicely lettered signage, which is still quite visible, probably due to its upkeep until the late ’60s. There have been a few small adjustments to the lists of products painted between the windows since the company took up residence, but that aside, the signage appears to be largely unaltered from that of the late 1800s. “Springs, Coil, Flat, Wire Forms, Metal Stampings” fill the left panel, and the right panel reads, “Springs Tested—Heat Treated.”

Under the right sign, we can make out the words “Mfrs” and “Generic.”

On either side of the product-listing panels are interesting logos made up of painted illustrations of springs. The structure and signage are still holding up pretty well, despite the building being vacant for a number of years.

Reedmor Books 11th and Chestnut streets

Reedmor Books, most recently the Reedmor Magazine Company, was a Center City purveyor of discounted books and magazines. It was located a block away and around the corner from this interesting sign on Walnut Street, which made clever use of two unsightly bricked-over garage bays to advertise closer to the busy pedestrian shopping traffic on Chestnut Street. The goal was to hopefully steer a few customers off Chestnut and down to its storefront.

This sign covers the mismatched brick pattern of the garages with nicely composed lettering and illustrated sign painting. It also incorporates a prominent directional arrow, pointing you toward the store location and helping to further hide

the irregularities in the wall surfaces. The store was the self-proclaimed largest and oldest of its kind in the city and, according to the sign itself, was “specializing in science fiction, back date magazines and paperbacks.”

The building on which this sign is painted had been left mostly vacant until 2010, when local coffee chain Milkboy took over the space. It has been renovated into a café and bar on the ground level and a live music venue on the second floor. As part of the renovation, contractors reopened both of the garage bays, which did remove a small portion of the sign, but thankfully, the owners realized the inherent beauty of the lettering and have left the rest of it intact.

The Fabric Workshop and Museum 1214 Arch Street The New Temporary Contemporary 1222 Arch Street, Philadelphia, PA

Daniel Arsham X Jonah Bokaer: Study for Occupant Special live performances: Friday, December 14 at 5:30 pm, Members Preview; Saturday, December 15 at 6 pm; Sunday, December 16 at 2 pm Daniel Arsham: Reach Ruin, December 14, 2012–Mid-March 2013 Opening Reception: Friday, December 14, 2012, 6–9 pm Limited seating for the performances, reservations encouraged Please RSVP to michele@fabricworkshopandmuseum.org or call 215.561.8888 Also on view: An Odyssey: A Narrative of The Fabric Workshop and Museum, Mark Rosenthal, Guest Curator For more information please visit our website at fabricworkshopandmuseum.org or call 215.561.8888. Free parking on opening night provided for Members and Donors.

Membership $20 & up. Parking normally $29.

This exhibition and performances are made possible through the generous support of the John S. and James L. Knight Foundation, as part of its Knight Arts Challenge. Additional support from the National Endowment for the Arts, the LLWW Foundation, and the Board of Directors and Members of The Fabric Workshop and Museum.

Image: Daniel Arsham X Jonah Bokaer, RECESS, set design and performance. Courtesy of Daniel Arsham Studio

Thursday, december 13 aT 7pm

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In MeMorIaM: ChrIs Marker, CInéaste (1921–2012)

Union Transfer Company Spring Garden and 10th streets

The Union Transfer Company was an express baggage transportation firm that first incorporated in 1867 in Philadelphia. Records show the company was in business continuously through at least 1918, and most likely survived longer than that. Union Transfer had local branch offices in Atlantic City, Cape May and Camden, N.J., and eventually spread to cities farther south such as Baltimore and Washington, D.C. The 1100 Chestnut St. Branch Office address first appears in Philadelphia city directory listings in the mid-1880s. There are numerous styles of archive trade cards that depict illustrations of a horse-drawn express wagon, typical of the early pre-motorized fleet the company employed. The wooden-slatted sides of the carriages had the lettering “Union Transfer Company, Baggage Express” painted on them.

In 1886, the Pennsylvania Railroad Company initiated a new “special delivery system” for baggage, which employed the New York Transfer Company in New York and the Union Transfer Company in Philadelphia, Baltimore and Washington as part of the system. Pas-

sengers could ship baggage in advance from any address in one city to any address in any one of the other member cities, freeing up those passengers from the problems of dealing with handling heavy and numerous baggage items when traveling.

This half-block-long warehouse building, located on Spring Garden between 10th and 11th streets, is a beautiful architectural mix of brick and red stone details. The building was utilitarian in nature, serving as a warehouse and staging area for baggage and freight.

There is very little signage present on the building—only some lettering at either end of the long warehouse that reads, “Union Transfer Co., Baggage Express, Phil’a Local Express.”

The space itself has served many purposes since the baggage handling days: freight warehouse, market, daycare center, automotive repair shop and Spaghetti Warehouse chain restaurant. The sign has recently been retouched, as the space has been renovated and repurposed yet again—converted, of course, into a live music venue, which aptly borrows the name “Union Transfer.”

Premium Blue Ribbon Malt Extract

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Wildey and Front streets

Blue Ribbon Malt Extract has a very interesting history whose origins can be traced directly back to beer. For example, the name “Blue Ribbon” comes from the blue ribbons that were tied around the Pabst Blue Ribbon beer bottlenecks, a practice that ran from 1882 until 1916. But that’s not the only connection. During the Prohibition years of the 1920s, the Pabst Brewing Company, as well as most other breweries, halted its production of alcohol and shuttered its brewing facilities. While it was closed for what seemed at the time might be indefinitely, Pabst sought a way to somehow put its machinery to use and make some sort of profit. The Perlstein brothers bought a controlling interest in the Pabst Brewing plants and changed the name of the company to Premier Malt Products, Inc. This new company used the existing equipment in the brewing plant to produce canned malts, both with and without hops, under the trade name of Blue Ribbon Malt.

Blue Ribbon Malt products were packaged and marketed as malts for homemakers to use in the baking of cakes and cookies. These goods were available at grocery stores all across America. As innocent as that may seem, and contrary to what the marketing of these products portrayed, the most practiced use for Blue

Ribbon Malt products was in the brewing of beer at home, as beer was no longer legally for sale in the United States during the Prohibition years.

In 1933, when the era of Prohibition came to an end, the Pabst family reacquired its breweries and resumed the production of beer. However, having discovered the growing demand for the “Blue Ribbon” products, as well as the popularity of malt in commercial baking and cereal manufacturing, the Pabst family decided to continue the manufacturing of these products within its breweries. In 1981, the malt business was purchased from Pabst by private investors. To this day, the Premier Malt Products company manufactures, sells and distributes the same malt extracts that were sold during Prohibition.

Located at the desolate corner of Wildey and Front streets, this ad for Blue Ribbon Malt Extract is painted on a building that currently serves as offices for General Marine Refrigeration Corporation, established in 1947. There are remnants of an older sign here as well, but due to weathering, it is not clear what appears beneath. Unfortunately, in an effort to clean, or rather mask, the building of graffiti, the lower half of the sign has been painted over in a few mismatched layers of brick-red paint.

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Peter Woll & Sons Mfg. Co. Curled Hair, Feather

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Berks and Hancock streets

This is an interesting sign, not just because of its size or lettering style but because of the nature of the business that it advertises.

Curled hair manufacturers took the refuse from tanneries, goatskin-leather factories and slaughterhouses and repurposed it into useful products. This refuse was everything the tannery or butchery could not use, such as hair, feathers, entrails and organs of butchered animals. These materials were made into products like scrub brushes or glue. An unpleasant business, surely, but profitable, since there was a constant supply of the raw material and a definite business in its disposal or reuse.

Case in point, this family firm has been working in the curled hair business for well over 125 years; it has been in business from 1880 right up to the present day. Structures on both sides of this stretch of Berks Street

still display painted signs advertising the family name and occupation, although the businesses moved out from these buildings decades ago.

The Woll name has been displayed on the five-story brick building on the north side of Berks Street from 1891 on. Architectural details of the building, such as the corner towers, make it seem like a much newer structure, but the building outlines conform to insurance atlases from the 1890s, as well as an illustration of the building in a print advertisement placed by the firm circa 1895. n Lawrence O’Toole documents many more ghost signs in Fading Ads of Philadelphia, published by History Press (historypress. net). The book is available now at local bookstores, independent retailers and online.

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CALENDAR // DEC. 12  18 The Infinite Music of the French Horn Rebellion, was an epic concept album featuring a protagonist who traveled from Florida to Antarctica and then into space, there is nothing small about the music they make. The disco-heavy beats and samples on “This Moment” are ridiculously danceable, and even on tracks like “What I Want,” with sounds more subtly hypnotic rather than overtly bombastic, this electronic duo demonstrates their ability to make a seven-minute song sound otherworldly. Going beyond this, FHR has also done a series of remixes for artists like Will Smith, Database and Savoir Adore, so they’re always looking to put the FHR stamp on tracks, even if the songs aren’t theirs. If you’re looking for a good time, this is it. BRIAN PALMER 7:45pm. $20. With Of Montreal + Foxygen.

Trocadero Theatre, 1003 Arch St. thetroc.com [FILM]

IN MEMORIAM: CHRIS MARKER, CINEASTE

DECEMBER

SAT 15 [DANCE]

THE TROCKS

Big men in tutus may not be the most appetizing sight, but this visual dichotomy has surprising appeal when the guys performing are the famous gender-bending “mallerinas” featured in the gloriously witty dance company Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carol, which brings its act to Philly this week. Known by their fans as the Trocks, the secret to the company’s success is that the professional male dancers, despite exaggerating the foibles of classical and contemporary ballet in their delightful parody, are actually terrific dancers. The performance includes three of the biggest hits from the troupe’s 34-year history, opening with the company’s clever take on Act II of Tchaikovsky’s classic Swan Lake followed by their ode to George Balanchine’s Concerto Barocco titled Go For Barocco. The performance concludes with an excerpt from the final act of the 1939 work Laurencia, which gives the guys a chance to show their versatility in this legendary piece from Russia that blends classical and folk dance. J. COOPER ROBB 2pm and 8pm. $20-$65. Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts, 3624 Walnut St. 215.898.3900. annenbergcenter.org >> Swan Lake (Photo by Sascha Vaughan)

DECEMBER

WED 12 2 2 p h i l a d e l p h i a w e e k l y I d e c e m b e r 1 2 - 1 8 , 2 0 1 2 I p h i l a d e l p h i a w e e k l y. c o m

[MUSIC]

ETERNAL SUMMERS

Attention everyone who desperately misses 1990s indie pop and indie rock: Eternal Summers have arrived, and their comforts are as comforting as comforts get. The duo-gone-three-piece from Roanoke, Va., provide a masterfully tuned Delorean ride to the glory years of Pavement, Pixies, Built to Spill, Sleater-Kinney and the Elephant 6 gang. None of Summers’ members seems old enough to have come of age as ‘90s indie music did, but that hasn’t stopped their self-avowed “dream punk” from drawing from that well with the utmost sincerity. Solid evidence arrives in the form of their cover of Guided

By Voices’“A Salty Salute” from the flotsam compilation The Dawn of Eternal Summers. That being said, Eternal Summers show their influences well, but also maintain a smart sense of range. July’s Correct Behavior, their second full-length, throws flavors of girl-group pop, surf pop and goth rock into their fall-colored sound. REYAN ALI 8:30pm. $20. With Nada Surf + It’s A King Thing.

First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St. r5productions.com [THEATER]

MARLENE AND THE MACHINE

Tonight, experimental theater group The Bearded Ladies present Marlene and The Machine, a dark, comic cabaret that “blurs the lines between hu-

man, music and machine.” The show combines offkilter renditions of the music of Marlene Dietrich and Lotte Lenya. The visuals nod to German Expressionism with a lobby transformed into a dark, atonal cityscape that puts the audience smack dab in the middle of industrial macabre. Expect madness, insanity and betrayal—and expect it in drag. ABIGAIL BRULEY 8pm. $25. The Wilma Theater, 265 S. Broad St. 215.546.7824. wilmatheater.org [MUSIC]

MATISYAHU

When Matisyahu first released Live At Stubb’s in 2005, it was something of a musical oddity; besides being a live album that shot him into prominence, which is rare in itself, it was reggae music performed by a Hasidic Jew. It was an unusual combination that brought the humble, West Chester, Pa.-born Matisyahu a lot of exposure, though he quickly gained a multitude of fans of all backgrounds. With his studio albums Youth, Light and this year’s Spark Seeker, he continues to blend roots reggae, hip-hop and a jammy sound that’s maintained his popularity worldwide. Last year, Matisyahu cut off his trademark beard—a Hasidic custom—and modernized his aesthetic, although he hasn’t abandoned his Jewish faith, as his Festival of Light tour and latest single, “Happy Hanukkah,” clearly attest. Proceeds of the single will help support New Yorkers affected by Hurricane Sandy.

BRYAN BIERMAN

8pm. $29.50. With the Danny Zamir Band.

Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St. 215.627.1332. electricfactory.info

DECEMBER

THURS 13 [DRINK]

FISHTOWN BEER RUNNERS

Slap on your sneaks, double-knot your laces and race down to the corner of Broad and Oregon for a beer run with 200 like-minded friends. Conceived around the hypothesis that beer hydrates better than water, the Fishtown Beer Runners were founded by David April and Eric Fiedler, who have been leading 3-to-5-mile runs pounding Philadelphia’s pavements every Thursday night for the past five years. The destination: one of Philadelphia’s swankiest watering holes. This week, you’ll end up at American Sardine Bar at 18th and Federal streets, but first you must sweat through the annual Holiday Lights Run. Rushed by endorphins, you’ll loop through South Philly’s hidden cul-de-sacs gorged in brightly lit multicolored holiday cheer. Before the run, everyone is encouraged to bring a canned good to donate to Philabundance, a nonprofit that provides food to families in our area. JESSICA FOLEY 7pm. Free. American Sardine Bar, 1800 Federal St. 215.334.2337. fishtownbeerrunners.com [MUSIC]

FRENCH HORN REBELLION

French Horn Rebellion’s music is massive. Whether it’s the electro beats that fill dance-happy tracks like “Up All Night,” or the fact that their debut record,

Chris Marker died one day after reaching 91, though he made enough films for at least three lifetimes. The French filmmaker is best known for La Jetée, his 1962 short whose high-concept time-traveling plot—later remade, loosely, into 12 Monkeys—is told through a series of still photographs. It is, however, an anomaly in a career largely devoted to documentaries and cine-diaries, albeit varied wildly in approach and shape, all of them united by an obsession with memory. International House’s Marker “Memoriam” focuses on his many, many shorts, a diverse lot on its own. In addition to La Jetée, there will be, among others, The Koumiko Mystery (1967), a kaleidoscopic portrait of a Japanese woman who would rather be left alone, and Remembrance of Things to Come (2001), which summons up the original Surrealist movement through photographs. You will also learn of Marker’s considerable yen for cats via the immortal 3-minute Cat Listening to Music. MATT PRIGGE 7pm. $7-$9. International House, 3701 Chestnut St. 215.387.5125. ihousephilly.org

DECEMBER

[ART]

FRI 14

CHINATOWN ARTS CRAWL

Call it whatever you want—Callowhill, the Loft District, Eraserhood—but that peculiar part of town just north of Vine and east of Broad is very clearly the city’s next great art district. So why not get to know it a little better? This open house/walking tour begins at Asian Arts Initiative, which will host an opening reception for its new communityengagement-themed group exhibition—a collection of multi-disciplinary works from four artists who have participated in the Visual Arts Network Residency program—featuring live tunes from experimental Philly-based group the Pagode Project.

After, guests will head out and explore the hood, hitting up several of its finest arts and culture hotspots along the way, including VOX Populi, the Trestle Inn, the Fabric Workshop & Museum, Space 1026 and Underground Arts. Once back at AAI, all are welcome to stick around for the center’s “Live and Local” performance showcase. NICOLE FINKBINER 6pm. Free. Asian Arts Initiative, 1219 Vine St. 215.557.0455. asianartsinitiative.org

PW’s first ebook, The Survivors Project: Telling the Truth About Life After Sexual Abuse, is available at Amazon & elsewhere

2O13

GET TICKETS

(215) 922-3839 NYEPHILLY.COM

24

CALENDAR // DEC. 12  18 a true guitar master sounds like when he drops his six-string science. EUGENE HOLLEY JR. 8pm. $12-$28. Montgomery County Community College, 340 Dekalb Pike, Blue Bell. 215.641.6300. mc3.edu

and Little Baby’s Ice Cream. ASHLEY KOLE 11am. $5. The Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St. 267.403.2856. locustmoon.wordpress.com

DECEMBER

MON 17

[EVENT]

GREENSGROW FARMS HOLIDAY BAZZAAR

Holiday shopping can do a number on your nerves—even with Amazon’s help. So instead of waiting in endless traffic to get mauled by the crazies at the mall, stop by Greensgrow Farms’ Holiday Bazaar and shop local this year. Pick up everything you need, including a Pennsylvania Christmas tree, handmade bath products and even one of those oversized scarves you have tried to make yourself but just couldn’t get that purl stitch down. Every day of the bazaar will host different vendors from around the area, half of which are from the immediate neighborhood of Fishtown. What better way to sooth the headache of the holidays than with crisp fresh air and samples of the neighborhood’s Philadelphia Brewing Company and Reanimator Coffee? JENINE PILLA 10am–4pm. Free. Through Dec. 16. Greensgrow Farms, 2501 E. Cumberland St. 215.427.2702

DECEMBER

SUN 16 [EVENT]

TIM BURTON BURLESQUE

>> Miss Rose will present a sultry interpretation of Beetlejuice during Tim Burton Burlesque.

[MUSIC]

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STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO

Streetlight Manifesto didn’t even technically exist yet when Catch 22’s Tomas Kalnoky signed a multialbum deal for the band with Victory Records.

But the surprise success of Everything Goes Numb in 2003 catapulted the band into the front ranks of ska punk revival. Streetlight shows—shoutalong celebrations of brass-and-sax embellished, upbeat-twitching emo paced by a frenetic, barechested drummer—sold out on college campuses everywhere. Meanwhile, his relations with Victory, never good to begin with, soured to the point where last February, Kalnoky urged fans to download the band’s material illegally. Streetlight Manifesto’s live show, in any case, remains undiminished. JENNIFER KELLY 8pm. $17.50. With Lionize. Theater of the Living Arts.

334 South St. 215.922.1011. tlaphilly.com [THEATER]

DRUNK LION

Back in June, this hilariously absurd one-man show was one of more than 15 original solo works that premiered in nontraditional venues across the city as a part of Philly’s 3rd Annual SoLow Festival. Due to the show’s success, writer and performer Chris Davis will be giving locals three more chances to catch it, now new, improved and professionally produced. Very loosely based on Davis’ time living in Mexico, where he taught English for three years, the show tells the tale of a young foreigner who develops an unlikely friendship with a lonely,

alcoholic Mexican lion (who sounds a lot like Antonio Banderas) while getting hammered in a cantina. If this sounds crazy, keep in mind that Davis single-handedly morphs into each and every bilingual character. No habla Español? No worries—he also translates the scattered bits of Spanish dialogue in the midst of the action. N.F. 10pm. $15. Through Dec. 15. Plays & Players Theatre, 1714 Delancey St. 215.735.0630. playsandplayers.org

DECEMBER

SAT 15 [MUSIC]

MONETTE SUDLER’S 4TH ANNUAL PHILADELPHIA GUITAR SUMMIT

Guitarist/vocalist Monette Sudler is once again gathering the best guitarists from the Delaware Valley and beyond so students of the instrument from jazz, flamenco, world and blues idioms can strum and talk shop in a variety of informative, hands-on workshops. The climax of this fourth summit is a concert featuring Larry Coryell, one of the founding fathers of jazz-fusion in the 1960s and ‘70s, who has more than 60 albums as a leader to his credit, including the classics Spaces with Chick Corea and Billy Cobham and Eleventh House with Alphonse Mouzon and beloved Philly trumpeter Randy Brecker. Coryell performs in his kick-butt trio alongside homeboy bassist Victor Bailey and drummer Kenwood Dennard, so it’s a sure bet that everyone attending will know what

For the third installment of Philly’s new filmthemed burlesque show, the ladies of Miss Rose’s Sexploitation Follies are tapping into the wild, whimsical world of Tim Burton. Given the array of utterly unsexy leading characters Burton has brought to life over the years, a burlesque interpretation of his films may be difficult to imagine.

And that’s precisely the beauty of it. Taking on Peewee Herman is none other than Philly’s premiere boylesquer Brettzo, while daredevil darling Mackenzie Moltov will put her skills with sharp objects to good use as Edward Scissorhands. The evening’s other featured talents will be paying tribute to The Nightmare Before Christmas and Batman Returns.

For the grand finale, the always extravagant and equally inappropriate burlesque queen Miss Rose will present her own sultry interpretation of Beetlejuice. N.F. 11pm. $12. PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St. 267.519.9651 philamoca.org [EVENT]

LOCUST MOON COMICS FESTIVAL

Today, West Philly’s Locust Moon hosts a festival celebrating the graphic arts and comics universe.

The one-day mini-convention features the work of writers, artists, cartoonists and publishers and hosts lectures and panel discussions honoring comic creators and comic creations. Along with their own Locust Moon Press, exhibitors such as Brandon Graham, Jeffro Kilpatrick, Farel Dalrymple, Meathaus Enterprises and Koyama Press will display and sell their works. If you get hungry while flipping through the stacks, head on over to the refreshments table and fill up on Kung Fu Hoagies

[ART]

MT. AIRY ART GARAGE HOLIDAY ART MARKET

Finding gifts for someone special seems more difficult than matching your wardrobe to those mustard yellow pants you love. So instead of giving tablets and electronics that are out of date by Christmas morning, give handcrafted gifts found at Mt. Airy Art Garage’s Holiday Art Market. The market will span two weekends and host artists from Germantown, Mt. Airy and Chestnut Hill, as well as live music from local musicians that will have you hopping into holiday cheer. J.P. 10am–5pm. Free. Through Dec. 18. Mt. Airy Art Garage, 11 W. Mt. Airy Ave. 215.242.5074 [THEATER]

SANTALAND DIARIES

Flashpoint Theatre Company finally opens its season with its traditional holiday staging of The Santaland Diaries. Originally a radio essay by humorist David Sedaris and adapted for the stage by the brilliant playwright Joe Mantello, the solo play recalls Sedaris’ early days working as an elf at Macy’s.

Displaying the same sardonic wit that propelled the humorist’s bestselling novels Barrel Fever and Naked, Santaland focuses on the poor, haggard Macy’s elf trying to remain in a celebratory mood while contending with packs of horrified kids, absurdly overbearing parents, a demented Kris Kringle and a flirtatious (not to mention persistent) gay elf named Snowflake. Running in rep with The Santaland Diaries is Flashpoint’s bawdy alternative to sentimental holiday fare Chlamydia for Christmas and Herpes for Hanukkah: More Sex-Ed Burlesque for the Holidays. J.C.R. 8pm. $15. Off-Broad Street Theater, First Baptist Church, 1636 Sansom St. flashpointtheatre.org

DECEMBER

TUES 18 [EVENT]

ROAST OF JOE SIXPACK

Once upon a time, there lived a man named Don Russell. An award-winning journalist, his work brought about lots of cool things, including environmental racketeering prosecution, reform of the Philly taxicab industry and the closure of a county jail. Then Joe Sixpack emerged, one of America’s most beloved beer writers. The book author, Daily News columnist and Philly Beer Week executive director has become synonymous with everyone’s favorite nectar. So who better to be the subject of Prohibition Taproom’s second annual holiday roast than the man of both names. Featured roasters include Glen Macnow, Bob Warner, Tom Peters, Tom Kehoe, Curt Decker, Ron Goldwyn and more. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to Philabundance, for which Prohibition Taproom is an official drop-off point for food donations.

ANTHONY TRIVELLI

8pm. Free. Prohibition Taproom, 501 N. 13th St. 215.238.1818, theprohibitiontaproom.com

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HOLIDAY PREVIEW

New Year’s Eve Fun An advance look at some of Philly’s hottest NYE events.

By Lindsay Kenney // feedback@philadelphiaweekly.com

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The War on Drugs play Johnny Brenda’s on New Year’s Eve. (Photo by Jeff Fusco)

THE BARBARY This Fishtown dive bar/club always offers a great place to dance the night away. Whether you’re attending the monthly Michael Jackson-Madonna-Prince night, or bringing in the New Year with Hands + Knees NYE, the Barbary is sure to please all those looking to get down and party hard.

9pm. $10-$15. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. 215.634.7400. thebarbary.org BEER DINNER WITH YARDS BREWING COMPANY Trying to spend New Year’s Eve away from dance beats and sweat? Check out Yards Brewery’s third annual NYE Beer-lovers feast.

Your $65 admission includes four mouthwatering courses paired alongside delectable craft beers from one of the best brewery’s around. Reservations required.

8pm. $65. Kennett Restaurant, 848 S. Second St. 267.687.1426. kennettrestaurant.com BROTHERS PAST WITH THE HEAVY PETS + DISCO SUCKS Sometimes, the pressure of throwing the perfect New Year’s Eve bash can be crippling.

Instead of stressing over what hors d’oeuvres go best with the confetti-style cocktails, let professional musicians do the work. Allow live music to guide the evening with festive jams and popping dance beats sure to get

your body moving into the new year.

9pm. $23.50-$25. Trocadero Theatre, 1003 Arch St. 215.922.6888. thetroc.com CITY TAP HOUSE City Tap House says goodbye to 2012 the proper way with their “No Bullshit New Year’s Eve” party. This year, choose between two party options: a general admission ticket that guarantees entry into this shingdig, or the all-inclusive ticket that offers an open bar from 10pm-2am and a champagne toast at midnight. Either way, the evening will be full of craft beer, firepits, and good spirits— all key components to a great night.

10pm. $10-$65. City Tap House, 39th and Walnut sts. 215.716.1298. citytaphouse.com THE CRYSTAL TEA ROOM Start 2013 in luxury at the Crystal Tea Room, where hand-carved columns and intricate crystal chandeliers will surround you while you sip champagne into the wee hours of the night. In addition to the five-hour open bar, general admission includes plenty of food, multiple party areas, two balloon drops, body paint and photographers that will document the entire night leaving guests with the sole responsibility of having a good time.

8pm. $145-$235. Crystal Tea Room, 100 East Penn Sq. 215.627.5100. nyephilly.com continued on Page 43 >>

2O13 Crystal Tea Room

100 Penn Square East 9th Floor 6 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

G Lounge

111 South 17th Street 4 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

Field House

1150 Filbert Street 5 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

Ladder 15

1528 Sansom Street 6 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

Mad River

4100 Main Street 6 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

Lit UltraBar

460 North Second Street 6 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

Tavern On Broad

McFadden's Ballpark 1 Citizens Bank Way

200 South Broad Street

5 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

5 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

Public House 2 Logan Square

5 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

5 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

Whisper

1712 Walnut Street 5 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

Xfinity Live!

1100 Pattison Avenue 5 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

FOR TICKETS & INFO GO TO:

McFaddens

The Roxxy

461 North 3rd Street

939 North Delaware Avenue

5 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

5 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

ATLANTIC CITY Chelsea Hotel

111 South Chelsea Avenue 5 HOUR PREMIUM OPEN BAR

OR CALL (215) 922-3839

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Recess Lounge

125 South 2nd Street

FOOD & DRINK

Congratulates Congratulates ember’s December’s featured featured mixologist mixologist

Savory and Succulent The Mildred conjures vegetables and meats to pure seasonal satisfaction.

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By Cristina Perachio // feedback@philadelphiaweekly.com

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ella Vista bummed hard over the loss of James, a contemporary, Italian-inspired restaurant that elevated the neighborhood’s fine-dining options.

Good news: Now that longtime friends and former classmates Michael Dorris and Michael Santoro have moved in with the Mildred, where Santoro is chef and Dorris is general manager, the community has something new to be excited about.

The seasonal menu is built around food from local sources like Coulton Organics, Fulper Farms, Terhune Orchards, Lancaster Farm Fresh and Weavers Way. The construction of the space itself, meanwhile—wood beam ceilings, brown leather accents and a stone fireplace—give the feeling of a warm, cozy farmhouse, so it all feels comfortably farm-to-table without being too cool, stuffy or arty about it. The spacious bar is somewhere you’d actually want to hang out and grab a quick bite to eat this winter when takeout just won’t cut it. (“We want this to be a neighborhood restaurant where industry people can come, eat good and not get killed on price,” Santoro says.)

The Mildred Salad makes for a refreshing start with salted almond, lemon confit and fresh herbs. The dressing is light and sweet and not overdone, leaving the fresh veggies crisp; salted almonds add a pop of flavor, salt and crunch over the mild, sweet and tangy whole.

Whenever a menu boasts homemade pasta, I cannot resist. The hand-spun chitarra with braised cockles, bacon and beer did not disappoint. The pasta is fresh and cooked al dente, while the cockles are tender; the dish satisfies the craving for salt and butter without being heavy or oily. And the fresh taste of the ocean, plus the slight creaminess added by finishing with butter and Kronenbourg lager, is a nice highlight on a menu primarily dominated by veggies and braised meats.

For example: Braised oxtail with barley and parsnip risotto offers up the traditional flavors of fall. Though the barley, parsnip puree and larger-sized pearls make the risotto a heartier dish than some risottos, it is not as creamy as others. And outside of one crunchy bite, the oxtail is braised to perfection and caramelized and crispy on top.

The Mildred’s warm, cozy, farmhouse-like space works with the locally sourced menu to craft a vibe that feels comfortably farm-to-table without being too cool, stuffy or arty about it.

The standout of the meal is the braised chicken and biscuits with herbs and vegetables. Healthy chunks of onion, squash, carrot and celery season the chicken, served hot in a skillet. Though this wasn’t the sort of dish I ate growing up, it nonetheless has that comfortfood feeling to it. The biscuits are light and fluffy; where a lesser preparation could have easily seen them get soggy with chicken juices, here they maintain their flakiness and texture. Likewise, the veggies—all too often lackluster in skillet-prepared dishes, or, alternately, swimming in sauce—are perfectly crisp and flavorful. The high-quality local ingredients are part of that excellence, but technique is the rest; the Mildred simply nails veggies.

Pan-braised monkfish in a chorizoand-potato stew falls a little flat; the accompanying chickpeas are undercooked and hard to get on a fork. The flavor is there, though, as the chorizo is rendered down with onions, garlic, oregano and chicken stock plus tomato fondue (canned on site this summer) and white wine, and finished with black kale and vinegar.

Another hearty dish highlighting inseason produce is the casserole of fall vegetables with squash tortellini and red mokum carrot jus. The veggies are sweet and lightly browned: warm and tender inside, crisp and caramelized outside, while the squash puree is creamy and flavorful with a whipped texture.

You may want to pass on dessert after that fall bounty. But you won’t.

Meyer lemon tart with fresh huckleberries, huckleberry sauce and thyme creme glace is fresh, not overly sweet and convinces me that summer wasn’t that long ago. Heirloom squash pot de creme with pumpkin seed tuile, goat milk ice cream and cranberries is another comforting offering: just the right amount of sweet and savory, in keeping with the rest of the autumnally inspired meal.

Chef Santoro tells us he hopes the vibrant food and cozy atmosphere will keep neighbors coming back. If the Mildred’s upcoming winter menu is anything like fall’s, it seems highly likely. n

THE MILDRED 824 S. Eighth St. 267.687.1600. the-mildred.com Cuisine type: Farm-to-table, American.

Hours: Dinner, Tues.–Thurs., 5:30–10:30pm; Fri.–Sun., 5:30–11pm. Brunch, Sat.–Sun., 10:30am–2:30pm.

Price range: Brunch menus, $4-$15; dinner menus, $7–$44.

Atmosphere: Cozy and simple.

Food: Fresh and hearty.

Service: Friendly and attentive.

promotion presents: December’s featured mixologist, Kevin McGehrin

McGehrin thinks keeping it simple is the most important factor—for him, at least—in the life of a successful bartender. “People get carried away with things a lot, making things really complicated,” he says. “I’m a simple guy. I like to have a glass of bourbon. Sometimes I get crazy and throw some ice in it.”

He suggests bar patrons benefit from the same philosophy as well.

Know what you want when it’s time to order, he says—it will go a long way toward building a happy rapport with your bartender. “There’s a lot to be said for simplicity that’s done well.”

KEVIN MCGEHRIN'S

THE CARLTON

2 oz ABSOLUT® CHERRYKRAN ½ oz St. Germain ½ oz fresh lemon juice ½ oz white cranberry juice Shake well and strain into champagne flute Top with Brut Rosé, Big Orange twist. (I’ve been calling it The Carlton because its supposed to make you dance like the character from Fresh Prince when you drink it) ADVERTISEMENT

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M

anaging a restaurant as well as mixing cocktails behind the bar— the two go rather hand-in-hand, says Kevin McGehrin of PYT. That said, he’s happy to have discovered his passion for bartending: “I started realizing the bartenders were making more money than me,” he grins.

“And now I do both.”

FOOD & DRINK // RECENT REVIEWS BUBBA’S TEXAS BBQ

19 W. Girard Ave. 267.324.3530. bubbastexasbbq.net Cuisine: Texas-style barbeque.

This is the latest entry into our city’s ever-sprouting crop of smoke- and fire-cooked meateries, a Lone Star bar with ample TVs, straightforward decor and one serious smoker. Pit master Robert “Bubba” Kolbasowski is a stickler for details, and his 21-spice dry rub and homemade BBQ sauce are remarkable testaments to his focus on every aspect of what gets sent out of his kitchen. Brisket is the ne plus ultra here. It remains untrimmed until after it’s completed its 24- to 30-hour vacation in the smoker, allowing the fat atop it to slowly melt into the meat itself. The wings are beguilingly smoke-perfumed, impossibly moist, and tossed in a choice of three sauces (mild, hot or BBQ) that each would be a highlight anywhere in the city. And despite a full belly, the TastyKake Krimpetbread pudding, with its homemade butterscotch, won’t last until morning. This is clearly an excellent new addition to the city’s growing reputation as a sort of barbecue meatopia. (Brian Freedman)

BLUE CAT

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1921 Fairmount Ave. bluecatrestaurant.com Cuisine: Latin-inspired comfort food.

Blue Cat’s airy, friendly atmosphere, casual and competent service, and comfortable pan-Latin food bring new freshness and life to its Fairmount neighborhood. Salmon filet, beneath a gorgeous crust from the cast-iron skillet, is a simple, delicate dish, topped with a mango salsa as straightforward as it is bright. Chacarero, a riff on the Chilean sandwich, is piled high with avocado, string beans, red pepper and grilled chicken; this is a sandwich that’s as filling as it is unexpectedly good for you. (B.F.)

HOP SING LAUNDROMAT

1029 Race St. hopsinglaundromat.com Cuisine: Flawless $10 cocktails.

The names of Hop Sing Laundromat’s signature cocktails pay homage, in one way or another, to America. The “Montana Payback” is named after the Battle of Little Bighorn. “A Failed Entertainment” was the working title of Infinite Jest. “Nevermore” is in honor of Edgar Allan Poe. The new craft-cocktail bar’s owner, Lêe, spent months driving around the U.S., exploring its various food and drink cultures; aside from

>> Blue Cat

clever drink names, the experience left him resolved to build a place whose bartenders would serve high-quality well liquors without snooty pretension.

For all its colorful quirk, Hop Sing pulls it off brilliantly. (B.F.)

THE INDUSTRY BAR

1401 E. Moyamensing Ave. 215.271.9500. theindustrybar.com Cuisine: Rib-sticking comfort food with style to spare.

The Industry Bar does a lot of things right—especially if by “a lot of things” you mean “appetizing carnivorous dishes—but their specialty has to be their creative spin on a wide range of pig parts. Pig ears, as flawlessly cooked as any I’ve had, snap like a hearty cracker, exposing the lava-like inner world of cartilage and gelatin. Too much? You can always stick to theclassic hamburger, consisting of LaFrieda’s ground brisket, Cabot’s cheddar and a smear of pickle mayonnaise. Industry’s fair prices are notable as well; you can eat and drink heartily here without breaking the bank, and it’s the kind of place where you want a pint of beer with your meal. (B.F.)

JANE G’S

1930 Chestnut St. 215.563.8800. janegsrestaurant.com Cuisine: Pan-Asian.

Center City’s newest Pan-Asian joint is raising the bar for this part of town.

While the dishes are mostly familiar, they’re somehow more memorable, like the beef rendang: rich cubes of beef soaked for hours in coconut milk and finally caramelized to perfection.

Or the popcorn rock shrimp; don’t let the small size fool you, these little undersea invertebrates boast a big flavor, with the most well fried carapace I’ve had in a while. The serious consideration of each flavor is very clearly evident in Chef Michael Chan’s work. (B.F.)

M KEE

1002 Race St. 215.238.8883 Cuisine: Wide-ranging Chinese.

M Kee is the kind of place you root for: The service couldn’t be nicer or more accommodating, and the restaurant itself, with its cheery orange accents and uniforms, is welcoming. The highlights are probably what you’d expect—they’re hanging right in the window. Excellently named “roast pig” is just that: Tender rectangles of remarkably “porky” pork, each resting beneath a layer of cracker-crisp skin that’s a beautifully deep shade of mahogany. Order too much of this and bring it home. It’ll make an amazing next-day snack. (B.F.)

>> Vedge

VEDGE

1221 Locust St. 215.320.7500 Cuisine: Ambitious, creative vegan.

Vedge, which resides in the stunning space once occupied by Deux Cheminées, does more to bridge the chasm between the artificially distant worlds of the omnivore and the vegan than any restaurant I’ve ever visited.

Grilled gochujang tofu boasts three (three!) separate rounds of marinating and arrives in a shallow pool of smoked miso dashi, crowned by a translucent lace of yuba “cracklin,” and accompanied by an edamame puree: soy beans four ways, each of them remarkable. Roasted golden beats are layered on pumpernickel with smoked tofu, avocado, capers and a cucumber dill sauce to perfectly embody the satisfying richness of a smoked salmon sandwich. (B.F.)

LOCAL FOOD • CRAFT BEER • LIVE MUSIC

HAPPY HOUR

MONDAY-FRIDAY 5PM-7PM Blackened Green Beans : Bistro Salad : Fresh Chicken Salad Fresh Burger on LeBus Brioche Bun : Jambalaya : Oyster Po’ Boy w/Remoulade sauce Fresh Sausage Sandwiches : Fresh Pommes Frites w/Monk’s Bourbon Mayo

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Walnut Street Theatre’s superb The Music Man is a lively diversion from the holiday season’s stresses.

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onsider the Walnut Street Theatre’s splendiferous production of the award-winning classic The Music Man an early holiday gift to lovers of Philadelphia stage.

Penned by Meredith Willson from a story by Willson and Frank Lacey, the musical tale is set in the quaint hamlet of River City, Iowa, in 1912, the kind of place celebrated by Mitt Romney and the Republican establishment. It’s a nostalgic, almost utopian image of small-town America that never existed.

It’s incredibly old-fashioned, and, like Susan Stroman’s remarkable Broadway revival in 2000, Walnut Street director Marc Robin makes no attempt to contemporize the original story or Willson’s creaky libretto. River City is all white, the sky is pure blue and the trees leafy green, there is no trash or crime, and the biggest source of excitement is the billiard parlor’s new pool table. It’s the sort of place that’s easy pickings for veteran con man Professor Harold Hill, played

by Jeff Coon, who concocts a plan to rob the townsfolk of their hard-earned wages by promising to form an all-boys marching band. The exact details of his scheme are so implausible as to defy description. The naïve townsfolk fall for the deception, with the exception of local librarian/piano teacher Marian Paroo (the exquisite Jennifer Hope Wills). A single lady who lives with her mother (the delightful Mary Martello) and little brother, Marian plans to reveal Hill’s trickery. However, instead of turning Hill in, Marian falls in love with the smooth-talking grifter. He, of course, feels the same, and all ends happily when he abandons his wicked ways for the kind, virtuous woman.

The Music Man fails or succeeds depending on the skill of the actor portraying Hill, and Coon, in the performance of a lifetime, proves that he is up to the challenge. One of Philadelphia’s most talented and vocally gifted musical performers, Coon seems to relish every moment on stage. His unabashed enthusiasm is infectious, and, like Marian, we too are attracted to the quick wit and winning personality displayed

by Coon’s Hill. His is easily one of the year’s most charismatic performances, and though he receives a great deal

Music Man triumphs: The masterful Jeff Coon leads an excellent cast in the Walnut Street Theatre’s production of The Music Man. (Photo by Mark Garvin)

of support from the first-rate cast, it is Coon as Hill that drives the production.

In fact, his desire to play the role was a main factor in the decision by Bernard Havard, Walnut Street’s producing artistic director, to revive The Music Man, which was last performed at the Walnut 28 years earlier.

Robin keeps the action humming along, and despite the huge cast— which includes a live horse—the production runs like clockwork. Robin, also in charge of the show’s choreography, creates a host of well-conceived, blockbuster numbers, including a wonderfully executed free-for-all in the town library, and also changes the pace with a surprising amount of ballet-inspired dance. It’s not the usual Music Man choreography, but it adds to its dreaminess, aided by scenic designer’s Robert Andrew Kovach’s picturesque painted backdrops and Paul Black’s lush lighting design. The dream-like quality suits the unlikely romance between Hill and Marian, consummated on a moonlit footbridge as they sing the heavenly “Till There Was You,” and Marian embraces Hill, con man and all.

While the pair’s romance is the main interest, there is no shortage of amusement in Robin’s staging. Laugh-out-loud humor is provided by Alene Robertson, who is an absolute scene-stealer as Eu-

lalie, the mayor’s opinionated wife. At Hill’s urging, she and the town’s other middle-aged ladies develop a hilariously bad dance number for the town’s ice cream social, and their rendition of the bizarre ditty “Pickalittle” features the gals running about the stage clucking like demented chickens.

Funny moments and love story aside, the real reason to see the Walnut’s Music Man is to hear the songs, all of which are robustly played by an excellent orchestra led by musical director Douglass Lutz. No male performer in Philly boasts a bigger voice than Coon, and his fullthroated rendition of the musical’s signature tune “76 Trombones” is appropriately rousing. Other highlights include Coon’s fiery “Ya Got Trouble” and the classic “Gary, Indiana,” which, on opening night, was energetically performed by youngster Vincent Crocilla as Marian’s adorable little brother, Winthrop.

It won’t challenge your intellect or inspire a philosophical debate about the nature of humankind. But if you are looking for pure escapist entertainment, The Music Man is a spectacular diversion from the stress and strain of the holiday season. n Through Jan. 6. $10-$95. Walnut Street Theatre, 825 Walnut St. 215.574.3550. walnutstreettheatre.org

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A Holiday Roast

THE NEW YEAR’S EVE WEEK PULLOUT SUPPLEMENT

ISSUE DATE: WEDNESDAY,12/26/12 DEADLINE: WEDNESDAY, 12/19/12 Philadelphia Weekly is proud to partner with DRWC and GPTMC and present The New Year’s Eve Week pullout supplement.

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34 CELEBRATE THE NEW YEAR IN ELEGANCE

ABOvE THE CITY & sEE THE fIREWORks

ART

A Break from the Norm Chelsea Pearce’s Moon & Arrow boldly bridges art, style and commerce.

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By Nicole Finkbiner // nfinkbiner@philadelphiaweekly.com

Check us out on Twitter! @undrgroundarts Check us out on Facebook! @underground-arts

Upcoming Events goodie NEW YEARS EVE Featuring

Fur Coat (Crosstown Rebels) With Someone Else (Get Physical) Rob Paine & Dirty (Worship Recs / D24K) & Willyum (Shakedown) plus familiarise ft. Cardona, Safarii, Jus, and Shino Monday, December 31st.

9:00pm - 3:00am MUSIC ALO BRASIL The Underground Sessions Saturday, December 15th.

Doors: 6:30pm / Show: 8:00pm

MUSIC

MATT SANTRY

With Tim Williams Band and Transmission Stereo Thursday, December 20th.

Doors: 7:00pm / Show: 8:00pm

1200 Callowhill Street, Philadelphia, PA 19123

undergroundarts.org

art trendy urban boutique, part vintage emporium, Fabric Row’s newest shop, Moon & Arrow, possesses a certain artistic je ne sais quoi that most local boutiques do not. Luring you in off the sidewalk is a festive window installation with crystal necklaces draped across logs and wool plaid blankets stacked on a vintage pull sleigh. Inside, your senses are lulled with soft music, aromatherapy candles and more natural adornments—hanging air plant sculptures, mini succulent gardens and shelves sprinkled with chunks of quartz.

“Creating this space is way, way more important to me than how the business actually works,” says Moon & Arrow creator and owner Chelsea Pearce. “I just try to find things that really inspire me and that create an environment that’s authentic.”

The store’s cohesive ambiance is a rather impressive fete given its eclectic array of one-of-a-kind merchandise.

A Royal typewriter from the 1940s like the one Ernest Hemingway use to use?

Check. Eco-friendly slip-on shoes with soles made of recycled tires? Check.

Handmade lip balm with garden herbs?

Check.

This is all in addition to Moon & Arrow’s line of handcrafted jewelry and handpicked selection of vintage treasures, most of which are actually souvenirs from Pearce’s many travels. Explaining the store’s large selection of cowboy boots and embossed leather handbags, she just happens to have a lot family in the South.

“You’re talking about paying $40 here for something you’d find on eBay for $400,” Pearce notes. “But I trolled a thrift store in Arkansas for it and flew it back and loved doing it.”

The Philly native doesn’t have a business degree, nor does she have an art degree, for that matter. Rather, Moon & Arrow is the product of Pearce’s sheer creative ingenuity.

Having been raised by two photographers, the 32-year-old has never really been one to follow a traditional path.

Instead of finishing her senior year at Temple’s Tyler School of Art, she moved to Italy, where she studied under master metalsmiths and jewelers. Much of this had to do with Pearce’s distaste for tech-

Girl in the window: Chelsea Pearce hangs some of her unique handcrafted necklaces in the window display at Moon & Arrow. (Photo by Nicole Finkbiner)

nology. “I barely check my e-mail, so sitting in front of a screen for any extended period of time is utter torture for me,” she jokes. “I can, however, file a piece of metal for 20 hours. Go figure.”

Although metal may be her primary medium, Pearce really dabbles in a little bit of everything—from painting and installation to interior and fashion design. Meanwhile, Pearce’s jewelry incorporates a variety of materials, including rough-cut stones, naturally shed antler and found objects.

Technically, Moon & Arrow first opened its doors last fall in a popup storefront about a block away from its current home at Fourth and Fitzwater streets. Calling her first retail venture a “temporary experiment,” Pearce has a much clearer vision for her brand these days: “I’ve always dreamed that Moon & Arrow could grow to incorporate a workspace for artists and makers, to have workshops and events as well as the retail. Music and art breathes life back into a tired store.”

As part of Paradigm Gallery’s Resident Art Program, a project funded by UArt’s Corzo Center to bridge the gap

between the gallery/fine art and retail worlds, the shop is currently showcasing the mixed-media works of local artists Caitlin McCormack and Jason Chen.

“A lot of people would never walk into a gallery, but they will come into a store and spend the same kind of money that they would on art,” says Pearce.

She’s also committed to offering exposure to emerging designers and artisans. Besides having partnered with the Philly-based rediscovered furnishings and vintage home accents company Territory Home Goods, which now coinhabits the space, Moon & Arrow carries several local brands, including the candles of Skeem Designs and wool scarves from Haight-Ashbury.

As for the business end of things, Pearce’s vision doesn’t include meeting any certain quotas. “I don’t just want to sell stuff to people,” she says. “I want to sell things that they have a real connection with and they’re really excited to bring home.” n Wed.-Sat., noon-7pm. Sun., noon5pm. Moon & Arrow, 754 S. Fourth St. 215.469.1448. moonandarrow.com

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SCREEN

SIX PACK Six Cinematic Hand Jobs

By Matt Prigge // mprigge@philadelphiaweekly.com Johnny Got His Gun (1971): Dalton Trumbo’s anti-war novel—concerning a WWI soldier who’s lost all appendages and most of his face—wasn’t terribly filmable in 1939 when it was first published. By the downer ‘70s, its time had come, and, with Trumbo himself directing, it could wallow in a deeply miserable premise, experiment with film form as it delves into his thoughts and include a scene in which a caring nurse gets Johnny’s gun.

1900 (1976): Bernardo Bertolucci’s sprawling cash-in on the success of Last Tango in Paris was distributed at different lengths depending on the country, due both to its extreme length (317 minutes) and certain shockingly racey moments. One scene not originally seen by many features Robert De Niro and Gérard Depardieu receiving an actual, unsimulated and wholly visible double HJ from the same woman.

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Breaking the Waves (1996): Arguably Lars Von Trier’s most tortured female protagonist, Emily Watson’s simpleminded Bess embarks on a series of sexcapades to placate the wishes of her newly paralyzed husband (Stellan Skarsgård) and, she comes to believe, the man upstairs. At one point, she services a man on a bus, making it the only God-approved five-knuckle shuffle on this list. (Von Trier’s Antichrist also features an, ahem, interesting contribution to this list, only with more blood.)

>> Breaking the Waves

The River (1997): The minimalist films of Taiwan’s Tsai Ming-liang aren’t averse to outré sexuality: The Wayward Cloud (2005) finds its characters immersed in the world of pornography and performing sex acts on juicy watermelons. The arguable topper is Tsai’s twist on the family drama, which culminates in a father and son accidentally, in the dark of a bathhouse hook-up room, giving each other handies.

Eros (2004): Wong Kar-Wai’s contribution to this omnibus film (also boasting work by Steven Soderbergh and Michelangelo Antonioni) is called The Hand. Guess what that refers to.

Hyde Park on Hudson (2012): Three recent films means a trend: The Master, On the Road and Hyde Park—in which Bill Murray’s FDR gets manhandled by distant cousin Laura Linney—all feature dog flogging. But where are the think pieces? (Incidentally, Murray also co-starred in Rushmore, which makes a running gag out of characters getting—or alleged to have gotten—meat tenderizers.) n

The Hobbit is Hobbled by Overindulgence The first of director Peter Jackson’s long-awaited fantasy trilogy is a bloated, entirely unnecessary cash-grab prequel.

By Sean Burns // sburns@philadelphiaweekly.com t’s been nine years since Peter Jackson closed out his mammoth Lord of the Rings trilogy with so many endings that I have a sneaking suspicion the movie is still going on, somewhere. A landmark achievement for fantasy fans, special effects and the New Zealand tourism industry, these were respectable films clearly borne out of a filmmaker’s passion, even though some of us heretically might have found their running times a smidge excessive. Alas, the same compliments cannot be paid for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, a bloated, entirely unneccesary cash-grab prequel suffering from a fatal case of elephantitis. Jackson and company have taken the first six chapters of J.R.R. Tolkien’s slender bedtime story and stretched them out like silly putty into a 170-minute slog that is but the first installment of a projected trilogy.

The obvious problem here is one of proportion: The Lord of the Rings took a trio of three-hour movies to adapt three separate novels that ran 1,359 pages.

This follow-up series intends to lavish the same amount of time and energy on a children’s story barely a fraction of that length. I’m told these Hobbit films also feature additional material from Tolkien’s various appendices, which only adds to the numbing sensation that we’re sitting through Jackson’s painstaking depiction of every last damn word this guy ever wrote.

We return to Middle Earth with not one, but two prologues. The first involves a dwarf community chased from their Lonely Mountain home by an off-screen fire-breathing dragon, while the second offers blatant fan-service cameos from Elijah Wood and Ian Holm, awkwardly attempting to shoehorn The Hobbit into a framing device that takes place during The Fellowship of the Rings’ first scene. After much of this needless fussing about, we eventually jump back 60 years or so, and the movie’s finally allowed to start.

Martin Freeman stars as a much younger Bilbo Baggins, the fussy, set-in-his-ways Hobbit implored to embark on a great adventure by sly old wizard Gandalf (Ian McKellen, slipping back into the role like a comfy sweater.) There are 13 dwarves aching to reclaim their home from that

A motley crew: (from left) Dean O’Gorman, Martin Freeman, Jed Brophy and Adam Brown star in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

nasty dragon, so they drop by for dinner at Bilbo’s, in an interminable slapstick sequence that you’ll think can’t possibly get any worse until they all start singing.

It takes almost an hour to get on the road, and what’s remarkable is how little information Jackson manages to convey during this time. The dwarves all jostle each other around for a chance to establish their single assigned personality trait, while Freeman exhausts every eyeroll and exasperated double-take he’s mastered on BBC shows like The Office and Sherlock. Our hurry up-and-wait walk to Lonely Mountain at last underway, the movie settles into a stutter-step rhythm in which endless postcard vistas of the New Zealand landscape are punctuated by gargantuanly over-scaled action sequences. Many of the creature designs are effective, and I was particularly taken with the Goblin King, who has a scrotum dangling from his chin like Peter Griffin.

But the characters are constantly tossed through the air in these weightless CGI spectacles, and it’s all so gravity-defying that there’s never any sense of danger.

Things pick up after a couple of hours with the arrival of Andy Serkis’ Gollum, that weirdly poignant monster, who, in his return engagement, demonstrates just how much further performance-capture animation has advanced since his already impressive appearance in the original trilogy. There is at long last the feeling of a story coming into focus, at which point, of course, the movie ends. And the closing shot unwittingly says it all: a glimpse

of an immense dragon snoozing beneath a massive pile of gold.

The Hobbit’s big technical selling point is that it’s the first movie photographed at 48 frames per second, which theoretically doubles the visual information we’ve grown accustomed to from stodgy old 24 fps. The effect is sort of like watching those HDTVs’ overcranked display settings at a big-box store, the picture so relentlessly vivid and over-detailed that there’s no texture to any of the images.

It’s got the flat, video sheen of early ‘80s pornography, and the unforgiving clarity calls glaring attention to every smudge in the makeup and every seam in the effects work. Sorry, but 48 fps makes a very expensive movie look awfully cheap.

It’s almost impossible to reconcile Jackson’s lumbering recent output with the prankish zing of his early 1990s B-movies.

His 2005 King Kong remake clocked in at almost twice the running time of the 1933 original and had the great ape on the Empire State building for so damn long, the sun came up and it turned into the next day. Jackson’s personally lost a lot of weight; I guess it all went into his work. ■

THE HOBBIT:

AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY Starring: Martin Freeman, Ian McKellan, Richard Armitage, Andy Serkis, Benedict Cumberbatch Director: Peter Jackson

SCREEN // NEW RELEASES Generation P

There’s actually a half-decent idea for a movie buried somewhere in this maudlin slog of a romantic comedy starring the charmless Gerard Butler. The tousle-haired Scotsman plays a washed-up former soccer star, recently relocated to a Virginia suburb in an ill-considered attempt to reunite with his exwife (Jessica Biel) and finally start acting like a father to his estranged 9-year-old son.

A couple plot contrivances later, Butler ends up coaching his kid’s soccer team, but the movie has little interest in the game or the children. The lone funny conceit in Playing for Keeps is that our handsome new coach unwittingly becomes a pussy magnet for single moms. It starts with Judy Greer throwing herself at him, sexually insatiable on the rare occasions she isn’t crying about her divorce. Then along comes Catherine Zeta Jones, almost unrecognizable beneath all the digital airbrushing, pulling strings at a local TV station to jump-start the coach’s sportscasting career and beckoning him into the bedroom. Equally voracious is Uma Thurman, as the aging trophy wife of the community’s Ferrari-driving rich jerk (a feeble Dennis Quaid, whose idea of broad comedy seems to be acting like he’s just had a stroke.)

There’s enough raw material for an adult farce in Playing for Keeps to make one wonder what a director like Blake Edwards might have done with it. Alas, we’re stuck in the hands of Gabriele Muccino—who most recently helmed Seven Pounds, the risible Will Smith suicide-by-jellyfish melodrama—so most of the movie is just Butler humorlessly pining away for his ex-wife and desperately begging her not to get remarried. Someone maybe should have told this guy if you want to rekindle a romance with a woman, you probably shouldn’t start by sleeping with all her friends.

Biel really goes to work here, crying her eyes out all the time in a role she’s at least 10 years too young to play. Butler’s appeal continues to mystify me; the marble-mouthed lummox draws women like flies without ever being charismatic or even remotely interesting. Meanwhile, the movie ignores the kids’ soccer team for such a long stretch that when somebody belatedly mentions they might win the championship, the screening audience laughed out loud. (Sean Burns)

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Not all advertising satires feature drug-fueled visions and a Mesopotamian dog god named “Phukkup.” Behold Generation P, a brainmelting film of Victor Peleven’s pre-millennial Russian cult novel. Set in the wake of the USSR’s dissolution, the narrative centers on Babilen (Vladimir Epifancev), who goes from mulleted convenience store clerk to advertising whiz, in the first five minutes. The fall of Communism means Western products will be flooding a once-barren market. These wares require catchy peddling, for which Babilen displays an innate talent. He also starts taking hallucinogenics and asking Che Guevara for marketing advice via Ouija board.

This is only scraping the surface: I haven’t even mentioned Babilen’s drug-fueled discovery of Babylonian occultism or how he applies mocap technology to politics, creating a Baudrillardian alterna-world of fake pols that play on the nightly news as fact.

Peleven squeezed all this into 256 pages, while director/co-adapter Victor Ginzburg hurtles, breakneck, through an absurdly dense plot, telling it with a comic, anythingcan-and-does-sometimes-happen sensibility. His scenes are hectic, handheld melees of sudden, bizarre plot turns, phantasmagoric hallucinations and constant Russian pop culture name-dropping.

Ginzburg’s only other feature is 1994’s The Restless Garden, a doc examining the Soviet sexual revolution. He has a deep, bemused understanding of a society used to being throttled around and manipulated by mutating socio-political structures–so deep, in fact, that he doesn’t feel the need to didactically explain everything to non-Russian viewers. Much of Generation P will go over the heads of its audience, and the confusion is, depending on your temperament, fun or maddening. Or both.

An already crazy picture turns fairly indescribable by the time our hero—who, no matter how high he climbs the corporate ladder, always stays rooted in his hippie/ Buddhist/druggy roots—is walking around a gold mock-Egyptian temple in a feather dress with blood on his forehead. That it still serves a nasty blow to advertising, even while summoning up the wicked spirit of Andrew Niccol’s dreaded S1mone and while seemingly high on its own kind of pharmaceuticals, is most impressive. (Matt Prigge)

Playing for Keeps

BILL MURRAY IS FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT LAURA LINNEY

★★★★! A THRILL TO DISCOVER AND BEHOLD! HUGELY ENTERTAINING AND FUNNY! “

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Lay the Favorite

Bill Murray is awesome. Laura Linney gives a warm and intelligent performance.

One of the season’s don’t-miss events.”

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BILL MURRAY’S SPECTACULAR, OSCAR®-CALIBER PERFORMANCE IS ONE OF THE YEAR’S DELIGHTS!”

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Following the soggy playbook of last year’s equally dismissible My Week with Marilyn, director Roger Michell’s Hyde Park on Hudson supposedly chronicles the momentous first meeting of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Britain’s King George VI, but all that’s just background noise. Really, the movie is about how FDR’s dowdy distant cousin, Daisy Suckley (Laura Linney), had a schoolgirl crush on the commander-inchief.

An aging spinster summoned to the country estate owned by FDR’s nagging mother, Daisy goes for long afternoon drives with the president, admires his stamp collection and ends up giving him the ickiest on-screen handjob this side of The Master. She’s over the moon with girlish adoration, and watching the almost 50-year-old Linney carry on like an inarticulate, lovestruck teenager makes us wonder if Daisy might have a few more problems than the film is letting on.

In an improbable bit of casting, Bill Murray plays FDR. He’s canny enough to understand that we’re never going to forget we’re watching Bill Murray, so instead of trying a full-on impersonation, he just keeps his chin tilted up and slightly affects an accent.

It’s a pretty good performance, with a fair amount of mystery preserved behind his smiling eyes.

The middle chunk of Hyde Park on Hudson is for all intents and purposes a mini-sequel to The King’s Speech, as the stammering monarch arrives hat in hand to solicit America’s assistance in World War II. The film all too briefly becomes a comedy of manners, with both hosts and guests puzzling over logistics and formalities, while FDR insists on serving the monarchs hot dogs for lunch. These are the most entertaining scenes in the picture, and they tellingly have nothing to do with Daisy. She’s just standing around out in the yard, pining for the president while all the important stuff happens indoors.

Alas, we’re soon back to Daisy’s sappy romantic woes, and the none too shocking revelation that’s she’s not the only lucky lady to get an up-close and personal look at FDR’s stamp collection. Taking great pains to remain inoffensive, Hyde Park wears its slightness on its sleeve. But even Daisy herself might wonder why anybody would want to make a movie about her. (Sean Burns)

The IMDb is clogged with modestlybudgeted, star-studded product not fit for mass release, but few have been helmed by an accomplished two-time Oscar nominee.

The only moment in Lay the Favorite, a listless gambling comedy, to cause a bump on the EKG meter is the director credit at the end: It’s not some anonymous hack, as you’d have every reason to assume, but Stephen Frears, of My Beautiful Laundrette, Dangerous Liaisons, The Grifters, The Queen and others.

Frears is a terribly inconsistent filmmaker, more journeyman than artist, but his work tends to have a base competence. Lay the Favorite seems to have been made by someone who has stopped caring. It’s heartbreaking.

His cast, however, has—save Joshua Jackson, snoozy as ever—not stopped caring, which turns out to be a problem. Any sensible director would have reined them in, but Frears allows grotesque performances that are as keyed-up as his filmmaking is disinterested. Chief among these is Rebecca Hall (Vicky Cristina Barcelona, etc.), playing a ditzy ex-stripper who “aspires” to be a cocktail waitress and winds up embroiled in the world of bookies.

Hall, a serious and excellent actress, tries hard the way someone who doesn’t do comedy does comedy. Her wide-eyed performance appears to be a broad impersonation of Judy Greer, making one wonder why they didn’t just hire Judy Greer. Hall’s Beth, who turns out to be a savant for this kind of employment, is paired with Dink, a Vegas gambling vet who enters into a relationship that’s part-business, part-flirtation, which enrages his sweary gold digger wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones, horrifically miscast and cruelly lit).

Hypoethetically, one ought to cherish a Bruce Willis performance in which he actually cares. This is a banner year for him, with two soulful turns in excellent films (Moonrise Kingdom and Looper), but he ought to have treated Lay the Favorite with the same regal disdain he reserves for the likes of Cop Out. Instead, his exuberance—like that of his character’s rival, played by a more-obnoxious-than-usual Vince Vaughn—adds to the tonal disconnect in which over-the-top performances play out before lifeless filmmaking by a filmmaker who, once upon a time, actually gave a shit.

(Matt Prigge)

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When Bunny Met Davey Legendary Philly songwriter Bunny Sigler reviews Christmas songs picked by Ill Vibe’s Lil’ Dave Adams.

By Chris Wilder // feedback@philadelphiaweekly.com

ANTIBALAS

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@ Union Transfer Ordinarily, The Muppets-esque puppetry and class warfare have no reason to comingle, so it’s really quite a delight that Antibalas’ video for “Dirty Money”—the opening track off the Brooklyn-based Afrobeat outfit’s self-titled fifth and latest record— found a way to pour these two disparate elements into one fascinating vessel. The clip focuses on the puppet characters of Samuel Wallbucks, a septuagenarian corporate kingpin, and a schlubby, unnamed white-collar employee who works at Wallbucks Towers until he is fired and/or laid off.

The employee makes a couple of suicide attempts after leaving his post, but each time, Wally tosses him concessions—a few gold coins here, a rope made out of dollars there. Nevertheless, the unemployed fellow still holds some animosity, so he begins destroying the Towers with a hammer.

This turns out to be a surprisingly efficient method of inflicting damage. Then, the video jumps to a scene of both Wallbucks and his former underling enthusiastically dancing in front of a $2 bill. The whole affair finally ends with the one-percenter literally exploding into cash.

The specific message driving the “Dirty Money” vid is unclear, but Antibalas’ fondness for sociopolitical music itself is absolutely crystal. The 11-piece follow in the groundwork laid by issues-minded Afrobeat pioneer Fela Kuti, even spending a two-year stint as the house band of Fela!, the Broadway show based on Kuti’s life.

Owing to this link, Antibalas make sure their salty-sweet potpourri of big horns and bigger rhythms frequently has something to say. The 2004 track “Who Is This America Dem Speak of Today?” rhetorically asked who the country belongs to, and “The Rat Catcher” from Antibalas explores how the concept of American freedom has unfolded after 9/11. Ever since baritone saxophonist Martín Perna established the group 14 years ago, they have led many a sweaty dance party, but fully absorbing the Antibalas experience means using your feet at their shows and your brain with all their other material. (Reyan Ali) Thurs., Dec. 13, 9pm. $15-$18. With West Philadelphia Orchestra. Union Transfer, 1024 Spring Garden St. 215.232.2100. utphilly.com

unny Sigler is Philadelphia music. Born here in 1941 and raised in Northern Liberties, Sigler is a singer, but it was as a skilled songwriter that he helped shape the renowned “Philly sound,” working with just about every notable soul artist coming from or through the city in the 1960s and early ‘70s.

He penned songs for artists including the O’Jays, Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes, Lou Rawls, Billy Paul, Patti LaBelle, Stephanie Mills and countless others. And through the magic of sampling, he’s still getting writer credits on rap records like Jay-Z’s “The Ruler’s Back” and 50 Cent’s “Ski Mask Way.” Forty-five years after making his mark with a bouncy cover of Shirley and Lee’s “Let the Good Times Roll” for pioneering local label Cameo-Parkway Records, Sigler’s released When You’re in Love at Christmas Time, a holiday LP reminiscent of his Philly International days. So, it seemed fitting then, on a recent night at Silk City on Fifth and Spring Garden—walking distance from where Sigler grew up on Olive Street—that he sat down with Ill Vibe Collective DJ Lil’ Dave Adams to offer his reviews on holiday music speciallyselected by the spinmaster. Adams, at 34, is two generations younger than Sigler, but also from Philadelphia—and also has a fine-tuned musician’s ear. He and his Ill Vibe cohorts produce tracks, play gigs and tour with artists when they’re not packing dance floors aplenty in local venues, small and large. Plus, Adams, a West Philly resident, has been ably serving the masses on his weekly radio show on Drexel’s WKDU 91.7FM for about 15 years.

What songs got spun? Some were old; some were new. One was Sigler’s. And none of ‘em mentioned figgy pudding.

“Midnight Clear,” Daz-I-Kue and Rasiyah Lil’ Dave: This song is about five years old.

These guys are known for … well, this is a style called broken beat. It’s like an electronic style, but real soulful, influenced by jazz and classic soul.

Bunny Sigler: It reminds me of old jazz. Like Oscar Brown or Junior, one of those guys from back in the day. Their vocals go to another level. It’s almost like they’re scatting. I never heard this, but it’s a remake of a standard.

“Christmas Time Is Here (Steppers Mix),” Analog Players Society LD: It has to go through the little build-up.

BS: Real horns?

LD: Yeah. Actually a live band.

right on beat]: “Ikey … I think it’s gonna work out fine.” Dave, where do you find these records?

LD: There’s a bunch of places around the city.

I’m always hunting in the dollar bins. In West Philly, where I live, there’s always flea markets and thrift shops, people putting records out on the streets, and I’m grabbing ‘em all up. I always find some gems in there.

“Li’l Drummer Boy,” Lou Rawls BS: I forgot Lou did this. This is a record that gets played a lot because a lot of people did this song. I recorded stuff with Lou Rawls that’s still in the can, stuff that never came out. If you listen to Lou here, you hear how classy he was. He was a lot classier before— he got funky after he got with us. I’ma tell you something about Lou Rawls: A lot of artists, you only see ‘em when you’re working with them. Lou Rawls? I don’t care what he was doing; if he came to town, he’d call me up: “Hey, Bunny! I’m in town. What are we doing?” And we’d hang out. And most singers, if they’re doing a show, they don’t want another singer on the stage. Not Lou. He’d be like, “Come on up here!” And I’d get up on stage with him and start singing.

Keep smilin’ at Christmas: Songwriter Bunny Sigler just released a new LP.

BS: Sounds like a song this guy did with keyboard horns. This makes me feel like I’m hanging out in New York.

LD: It’s actually a group out of Brooklyn.

BS: I knew I heard New York.

LD: They definitely have a little reggae influence going on in there. It’s a little bouncy.

BS: [feeling the beat] Tick, tick, tick … This reminds me of [singing] “How long has this been going on?”

“Black Christmas,” Harlem Children’s Chorus BS: This sound is timeless. It’s like Sam Cooke.

LD: It’s like an older, rare record. This was on a compilation, a whole bunch of records some different vinyl enthusiasts went out and found.

BS: This reminds me of Tina Turner [singing

“Li’l Drummer Girl,” Alicia Keys LD: I got a compilation with this on one side, and I don’t even remember what was on the other side, but I saved this. I thought this was a good record. She’s really young here, like 16.

This song was from before she blew up. Ah, that beat is … uh, Biggie.

BS: … Al Green. I can hear her singing against what she’s playing. When you play the piano, you can get around your chords.

LD: Usually people make current, up-to-date Christmas stuff that doesn’t sound so great, but it sounds better if you have an old sound.

This song has a current sound, but it’s still good. It still gets you in the mood for Christmas.

“When You’re in Love at Christmas Time,” Bunny Sigler LD: You do the background and the lead?

BS: Yes. LD: So, your voice is on several tracks?

BS: I do everything. I always double the tracks.

I do like six voices. Me and Bryant Pugh wrote the song. He’s the music director for Sharon Baptist Church in West Philly. It’s a big church … 3,000 people.

LD: My aunt goes there! ■

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30SECOND REVIEWS

ON THE RECORD Wiz Khalifa

ON THE IDIOT BOX

O.N.I.F.C. (Atlantic) Sounds like: The Pittsburgh emcee’s followup to the awesome Rolling Papers is a bit of a bust, a whole lotta mid-tempo raps about weed and collecting paper.

Free association: You smoke tons of weed and are super-rich now. Got it.

For fans of: Cam’ron/Akon/2 Chainz/Pharrell/ The Weeknd, Amber Rose, the Steelers.

(Bill Chenevert)

1812 Productions’ Dave & Aaron Go to Work

Thurs., Dec. 6, Plays & Players Theatre Overall vibe: This fresh new work, which pays homage to the vaudevilleinspired silent films of the early 20th century, had been marinating in the adrenalin of opening night. On the second night of the run, Dave Jadico and Aaron Cromie delivered delicious, thoroughly cooked slapstick back to the stage from whence it came.

Most memorable moment: Jadico and Cromie cooking breakfast together, elbow to elbow, in their microscopic matchbox kitchen. Dave tosses an egg to Aaron, who then cracks it over the frying pan. Dave lights the burner. The audience can smell the egg as it fries. Hey, you’ll never get a whiff of what Fatty Arbuckle’s got simmering on the stove in his 1918 film, The Cook.

Scene stealer: Silence. This is a play about two men living on top of each other in 2012 who can’t seem to hang on to jobs or mend the holes in their socks. If words were added into this catastrophic mix, it would swiftly become a Sam Shepard drama. The silence distances us from the terrifying reality of unemployment, and flips it on its head. We’re laughing at Dave and Aaron, but the silence allows us to laugh at ourselves. (Jessica Foley)

Warrior (RCA) Sounds like: The brash and crass party girl exudes an irresistible charm that translates into guilty pleasure dance-floor bombs that are well-produced delights.

Free association: She got Iggy Pop to show up on a track, and it’s not awful. Success!

For fans of: LMFAO x Britney, Kelly Clarkson + will.i.am, white trash comin’ up. (B.C.)

Scott Walker

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Paloma Faith

Fall To Grace (Epic) Sounds like: A mediocre mixed bag from the U.K. native, a dancer and burlesque girl, whose work with two producers is a little sophomore slumpy.

Free association: There are just so many other girls who do this way better.

For fans of: Duffy/Lana Del Rey/Joss Stone, watery Amy Winehouse, girl pop. (B.C.)

Mogwai

A Wrenched Virile Lore (Sub Pop) Sounds like: The Scottish post-rock legends’ sanctioned collection of remixes puts a quirky, electro spin on Hardcore Will Never Die, But You Will.

Free association: Definitely makes them seem less ominous and more clubby.

For fans of: Don Caballero x Hot Chip, Neu! meets Hercules & Love Affair, peaceful punk.

(B.C.)

Memory Tapes

Grace/Confusion (Carpark Records) Sounds like: Dayve Hawk makes pretty electronically charged chillwave pop music, and on this, his third, he lets tracks wander and get much longer.

Free association: This is good background music. S’about it; not much meat here.

For fans of: Teengirl Fantasy/Washed Out x Ariel Pink, stoner soundtracks. (B.C.)

The Faint, with Pujol + Trust

Thurs., Dec. 6, The Trocadero Theatre Overall vibe: Eclectic. All the people who liked The Faint in high school, having gone in a million different directions since then. Oh, and if you didn’t know, hot girls love these guys.

Most memorable moment: The Faint covering Sonic Youth’s classic “Mote” without a guitar. Seems impossible, doesn’t it?

Scene stealer: Trust. There have been several clues over the years that My Bloody Valentine’s drone and Depeche Mode’s moody synthesizers could meet and fall in love, but these Canadians actually pull it off. (Anthony Trivelli)

Ke$ha

Bish Bosch (4AD Records) Sounds like: The enigmatic veteran turns in 73 minutes of challenging noise combining opera, ambient, punk rock and orchestral might, the finale of his trilogy.

Free association: There’s brilliance here. You just have to comb through the darkness.

For fans of: Sonic Youth x Laurie Anderson, Eno/Lynch/Bjork, difficult music. (B.C.)

ON THE GUEST LIST

>> Portlandia stars Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen

Portlandia: Winter in Portlandia

Fridays, 10:30pm, IFC Captive audience: Hipsters. And the people who make subtle-yet-merciless fun of them.

Moment of truth: For those of you cool folk who can’t wait for new episodes of the offbeat skitcom Portlandia to hit IFC next month, Saturday Night Live weirdo Fred Armisen and guitar goddess Carrie Brownstein (a.k.a. the Nichols and May of Hipster Nation) give their fans a bonus, winter-themed episode to whet their appetites. Jack White, Jim Gaffigan, Little Britain’s Matt Lucas & fellow SNLer Bobby Moynihan join the pair as they once again amusingly send up the quirks and eccentricities of Portland townspeople during the holiday season. Even if you’ve never set foot in that city, this is still funny as hell.

Emmy: Emmy. Definitely. (Craig D. Lindsey)

Two and a Half Men

Thursdays, 8:30pm, CBS Captive audience: People who have basically given the fuck up.

Moment of truth: Can someone please tell me why this show is still on the air? Even with Ashton Kutcher filling the void notoriously left by Charlie Sheen as the women-attracting ying to Jon Cryer’s born-loser yang, it’s still the unfunniest, most misogynistic, dick-jokiest sitcom on TV. But it’s also gotten quite dull now that the former Mr. Demi Moore is front-and-center, blandly getting yuks. Is it any wonder why Angus T. Jones, who’s barely on the show these days as Cryer’s dim-witted son, called it “filth?” He wants to see this weekly travesty go away as much as we self-respecting TV watchers do.

Emmy or phlegmmy: Phlegmmy. Definitely. (C.D.L.)

Picture Paris

Mondays, 9pm, HBO Captive audience: Scorned women, Francophiles, people who think Julia Louis-Dreyfus is MILF-tastic.

Moment of truth: Since Louis-Dreyfus has made HBO her new home as the star of the political sitcom Veep, she’s also getting the cable channel to play a short film she stars in, written and directed by hubby Brad Hall. She plays a wife and mother who reluctantly goes on a trip to Paris intended for her and her husband—until he demands a divorce before they leave. Up until the what-the-fuck twist ending (which so panders to ladies seeking vengeance), this film gives the always wonderful Louis-Dreyfus the chance to find the humor and heartbreak in getting old and starting over.

Emmy: Emmy. Up until the end. (C.D.L.)

>> Dave & Aaron Go to Work (Photo by Mark Garvin)

10th Annual Latkepalooza

Sun., Dec. 9, Gershman Y Overall vibe: Every Jewish mother’s dream: Copious calories, traditional music and lots of people who, no matter their background, are there for one purpose: To eat well.

Most memorable moment: When, as I took my first bite of excellent sweet potato latke from Audrey Claire, the Eastern European music hit a crescendo.

I’d always wanted a soundtrack to my eating!

Scene stealer: The sheer range of latke styles. Who knew? (Brian Freedman)

ON THE MENU The Trestle Inn

39 N. 11th St. thetrestleinn.com The latest dish: Its new winter menu, courtesy of Chef Alex Bokulich.

Description: Bokulich’s offerings are heavy on the rich flavors so welcome in the cold months, livened up with modern ingredients. His beef and beer chili features organic grass-fed beef straight from Esposito’s, complemented with a nice spice kick and a generous dollop of sour cream. The truffle deviled eggs are made with whole truffle pieces, carrying an earthiness that makes it a heavier mouthful than expected. And the sausage in their new house-made sausage sandwich, served in a soft roll and topped with cilantro and crema, is so rich with flavor that it steamrolls the crisp herb.

Yum or yuck: Yum, all night long—especially alongside the Trestle Inn’s true star: the Classic Whiskey Sour, the silky smooth cocktail that tastes like a less-sweet version of Lemonheads candy. It’s an excellent complement to the hearty fare of the new menu. (Jared Axelrod)

HOLIDAY PREVIEW >> continued from Page 26 FLOGGING MOLLY The Electric Factory hosts Flogging Molly, Skinny Lister and Dave Hause on the last day of 2012. Spend the night rocking to the cause of moving forward in the new year.

8pm. $34. The Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St. 215.627.1332. electricfactory.info

SILK CITY DJ DEEJAY is back and ready to shake things into party mode for the “The “Anything U can SHAKE YrHips2” dance party. Celebrate with an open bar from 9-11pm, and top off your night by greeting 2013 with a complimentary champagne toast at midnight.

8pm. $35. Silk City Diner, 435 Spring Garden St. 215.592.8838. silkcityphilly.com

NEW YEAR’S EVE AT THE PIAZZA This year, the entire Piazza in Northern Liberties will be covered by a massive tent, creating a party ambience for New Year’s Eve. Celebrate with a five-hour open bar, food buffets, DJ’s, dancers, light shows and more.

8pm. $115-$150. The Piazza at Schmidts, Germantown Ave. and N. Second St. 215.495.1673. philly2night.com

SIN CITY AT LUCKY STRIKE Plenty of places offer food and drink specials tonight, but Lucky Strike throws in the extra perk of being a bowling alley, club and bar all in one. Lucky Strike’s Vegas-themed soiree includes a five-hour open bar and DJ spinning all night long.

8pm. $60-$110. Lucky Strike, 1336 Chestnut St. 215.701.1960. bowlluckystrike.com

PHILADELPHIA’S LIVE BALL DROP The SkyBox at 2424 Studios is a unique combination of a contemporary art exhibition space and an elegant entertainment space, and, for the night, it will be the party spot that is hosting the city’s only live ball drop.

Besides the 6-foot ball drop at midnight, this party includes an open bar all night, an amazing DJ lineup, a buffet and a laser light show.

9pm. $65. 2424 Studios / Sky Box, 2424 East York St. 267.861.0290. 2424studios.com

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TWICE THE FIREWORKS, TWICE THE FUN SugarHouse Casino offers two free shows of fireworks that will be choreographed to unique soundtracks and launched from barges in the middle of the Delaware River, both with clear views from both Philadelphia and Camden.

6pm and midnight. Free. Penn’s Landing, delawareriverevents.com UNDER THE STARS Enjoy a swanky evening under the stars overlooking the city, lounging on plush custom-made and cushioned couches.

9pm. $30-$390. Vango Lounge SkyBar, 116 S. 18th St. 215.568.1020. vangoloungeandskybar.com THE WAR ON DRUGS Philly-based indie-rock band the War on Drugs performs with Purling Hiss and Avery Rosewater for an evening of good drinks, good vibes and good company.

9pm. $18. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. 215.739.9684. johnnybrendas.com

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TEXT HRC TO 47201 XFINITY LIVE! NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY FOR A CHANCE TO WIN FOR A FREE A ticket gets you access to seven parties TIX TO OUR MINI DESSERT GRAND OPENING under one roof with six great DJs and two hard rock cafe, dcs & gashouse presents awesome bands. You can also enjoy the fivedcs & gashouse radio presents hour open bar while watching the ball drop the better half with soraia from a gigantic 32-foot LED video screen. fri, jan. 7 | 10pm | $5 | all ages IMPORTANT: We adhere to the Mobile Marketing Association of America’s guidelines, including ensuring each respondent opt-ins twice.

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If one is wearing a butt plug (“wear: to carry or to have on the body or about the person as a covering, ornament, or the like”), GASSYASS, then one may pass gas, silently or noisily, as one is wont to do, because a butt plug worn as a hat or a brooch or an epaulet—that is, a butt plug worn on the body—presents no impediment. But if one has fully inserted the bulbous end of the butt plug into one’s rectal cavity, and one’s sphincter muscles are gripping the neck of the butt plug, as they are wont to do, thereby ensuring that the bulbous end remains lodged in the rectal cavity while the flared base remains outside of the rectal cavity (one could, if one wished to be pedantic, argue that one wears the flared base of the butt plug against one’s anus), what would then happen if one attempted to pass gas? The force of the gas would either dislodge one’s butt plug, sending it flying across one’s room, or, if one’s butt plug failed to dislodge and take flight, cause one to simply explode.

I had a conversation with a friend who is an emergency-room physician. He told me about removing something—I can’t remember what—from a gentleman’s ass. My immediate response was to ask whether he had the flared-base talk with the gentleman after the fact. His response? “What are you talking about?” I explained that if the gentleman had used a butt toy with a flared base, he wouldn’t have been in the circumstances that brought him to the hospital. He had never thought of that and thanked me for the advice. My partner is a physician and has treated patients with anal “encumbrances.” He gives the flared-base advice to anyone who seems like they might benefit from it—but he tells me this isn’t something they go over in med school. This shocks me because it seems like a topic where a little education could do a lot of good.

You should use your column to bring this to the attention of medical-school administrators.

Conscience Cleared I am sharing your letter, CC, in the hopes that doctors all over the world read it and promptly incorporate your “flared-base” advice into their practice. If they don’t, well, then we will just have to conclude that flared-base advice isn’t given to patients by doctors— ER or otherwise—because doctors secretly enjoy digging various foreign objects out of the variable rectums of various gentlemen.

I’m a 19-year-old bisexual male. I’ve been in a two-year relationship with a girl who has a low sex drive, so we are in an open relationship and I occasionally have sex with guys. I really liked the last guy I got with and enjoyed having sex with him a lot. The problem was, I couldn’t get hard. Is the problem that I’m still trying to figure out who I am and what I want? Am I not as attracted to guys as I thought I was? Or could it be guilt, even though my girlfriend is OK with it?

Bisexually Oriented Nervously Experiencing Reversal You say you “occasionally have sex with guys,” BONER, which means this guy isn’t your first. He’s just the first guy—perhaps the first person—that you couldn’t get hard with. Let me guess: This has never happened to you before. Of course it hasn’t—you’re 19. But it happens to

every guy sooner or later, and you’re much likelier to seek an explanation or attach some deeper meaning to it the first time it happens. (Maybe I’m not bi! Maybe it was guilt!) Don’t waste your time, BONER. Sometimes a soft dick is just a soft dick. If it keeps happening, well, then you may have a problem. But if you go on obsessing about an isolated incident—perhaps brought on by nerves (you liked this guy, right?)—you run the risk of creating a problem.

I was on a layover in San Francisco. My attractive, bearish, platonic, straight male co-worker would like to know if it is weird that a guy complimented his shoes while at the urinal in the SFO bathroom.

Rhymes With Larry Craig?

Yes. As I was reading the letters in the last Savage Love, it occurred to me that the debate over polyamory as a “sexual orientation” is primarily one of definitions. Some folks who are poly see that as just as “core” to their nature as their gender preference.

Therefore, I propose the following framework. We all have a sexual identity composed of four components: 1. Our gender identity ranging from cis to trans.

2. Our sexual orientation ranging from homo to hetero.

3. Our sexual exclusivity ranging from purely monogamous to purely polyamorous.

4. Our sexual interest ranging from asexual to highly sexual.

In my view, these four components are equal in that they are all things that we are rather than things that we choose. While it is possible to choose a lifestyle that deviates from one’s sexual identity, in all cases doing so entails stress, cognitive dissonance and some degree of self-loathing.

Like all conceptual frameworks, this one is not necessarily complete. It fails to include sexual interest in animals, particular age groups, or any of several hundred kinks, all of which are traits that seem to be more identity than choice. That said, I do think there is something unique and universally applicable in the four-component scheme, and I think that we should as a society set a goal of acceptance and nondiscrimination surrounding all aspects of sexual identity.

Just My Thoughts I like your model, JMT, but it has to be said: At a certain point, endless Tumblr-enabled debates about sexual identity, gender identity, sexual orientation and sexual interests take on the flavor of those how-manyangels-can-dance-on-the-head-of-a-pin debates that obsessed theologians in the Middle Ages.

For the record: Each of us is free—and remains free—to identify however we wish and to apply the labels “identity” and/or “orientation” however we please.

If a particular person isn’t trying to take anything away from you, then the fact that the person holds slightly differing views on identity or orientation, or the meanings of those words, or just how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, well, it really isn’t an enormous fucking deal, is it? And, in my opinion, those who spend their time debating, classifying and unpacking sex and identity run a very real risk of disappearing up their own ass in a puff of santorum.

Which is my way of saying ...

No, I won’t be giving a column over to angry letters from buttsore people who feel that D/s is their sexual orientation, despite being told that I must because last week I suggested that, from my point of view, D/s is a sexual identity, not an orientation, and I gave a column to angry poly folks so it’s only fair and blah, blah, blah. n

47

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Flexible part-time work, Send Resume kawhitneyzoho.com ADVERTISING & MARKETING SALES INTERN: We’re seeking energetic, selfmotivated and out-going individuals to help our Sales and Marketing Depts.

Candidate must be able to work at least 15 hours a week; multi-task; work well with others; have good verbal and communication skills; be proficient with Microsoft Word & Excel; also be proficient in Web & Social media applications. Photoshop and/or indesign & social network marketing experience a plus. Please send Resume to astoller@philadelphiaweekly.com NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE

PW Classifieds

GALLERY SPACE for Rent- very inexpensive. 3000sf for $250 for 4 days. 1 day set up, 2 day show, 1 day breakdown. Located at the Papermill in Kensington this gallery features vast amount of wall and floor space as well as 16ft high ceilings.

Fantastic industrial look.Works well for group or collaborative shows.

Info at: www.papermillar ts.com Contact Karyn 215.687.8391

Job placement

215-878-1300

Mixologywine.com BECOME A MEMBER OF THE OUR SALES TEAM! PW-Philadelphia Weekly is seeking energetic, self-motivated individuals to join our Advertising Department as an outside Account Executive. We offer a competitive base salary, commission, bonuses and an excellent benefits package. Candidate must be able to multi-task, have excellent verbal and communication skills and be proficient with Microsoft Word and Excel. Main job responsibilities are prospecting, cold calling and closing new business. 3 plus years sales experience in a related field required. Email your resume to AStoller@ PhiladelphiaWeekly.com DRIVER - $0.03 ENHANCED QUARTERLY BONUS Get paid for any portion you qualify for: safety, production, MPG. CDL-A, 3 months current OTR EXP. 800414-9569 www.driveknight.com DRIVER: CDL-A VAN & FLATBED *NEW PAY PACKAGE! *Very New Trucks *Benefits After 30-Days *Great Miles, Pay *Dependable Hometime *Start Immediately! CDL Graduates Needed!

877-917-2266 drivewithwestern.com DRIVERS- PYLE TRANSPORT (A Division of A. Duie Pyle) Needs OWNER OPERATORS Sign-on Bonus if you start on or before Dec. 19th! Regional Truckload Operations. HOME EVERY WEEKEND! O/O Average $1.84/Mile.

Steady, Year-Round Work. Requires CDL-A, 2 Yrs. Exp. Call Dan: 877-910-7711 www.DriveForPyle.com DRIVERS: CRST offers the Best Lease Purchase Program *SIGN ON BONUS *No Down Payment or Credit Check *Great Pay Class-A CDL required. Owner Operators Welcome Call: 866-403-7044

DRIVERS: HIRING EXPERIENCED/ INEXPERINCED TANKER DRIVERS! Earn up to $.51/mile! New Fleet Volvo Tractors!

1 Year OTR Exp. Req. Tanker Training Available. Call Today: 877-882-6537 www.OakleyTransport.com EARLY DEADLINES FOR HOLIDAY ISSUES: DECEMBER 26TH ISSUE - Real Estate, Employment and Adult ads Wed., 12/19, 5pm; Classified and Line ads - Thurs., 12/20, 4pm. JANUARY 2ND ISSUE - Real Estate, Employment and Adult ads - Wed., 12/26, 5pm; Classified and Line ads - Thurs., 12/27, 4pm. 215-563-1234 EXP. REEFER DRIVERS: GREAT PAY/ Freight lanes from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA 800-277-0212 or primeinc.com GORDON TRUCKING, INC: CDL-A Drivers Needed! ..$1,500 SIGN ON BONUS.. Refrigerated Fleet & Great Miles! Pay incentive & Benefits!

Recruiters available 7 days/wk! EOE. TeamGTI.com 866-554-7856 HELP WANTED!!! MAKE $1000 A WEEK Mailing Brochures from home!

Free supplies! Helping Home-Workers since 2001 Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailing-usa.com

RETAIL SALES New store in the Shops at Liberty Place - KAMEE. Key holder positions.

Call 215-545-1330 or apply online at www.cameowaterwear.com STREET TEAM: PT/Hourly position.

Become a member of our Marketing Team! We’re seeking energetic, selfmotivated and out-going individuals to attend events to promote our newspaper. Candidate must be able to work flexible hours, including nights & weekends; work well with others; have good verbal and communication skills. Photography experience is a plus! Part-time/Hourly position.

Please email a resume to nleyrer@ philadelphiaweekly.com NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE!

REACH 5 MILLION hip forwardingthinking consumers across the U.S. When you advertise in alternative newspapers, you become part of the local scene and gain access to an audience you won’t reach anywhere else. http://www. altweeklies.com/ads START NOW! OPEN RED HOT DOLLAR, DO LLAR P LUS, M AI LBOX, DISCOUNT PARTY $10 CLOTHING STORE, TEEN STORE, FITNESS CENTER FROM $51,900 WORLDWIDE! WWW. DRSS19.COM 1-800-518-3064

RESUME/CAREER SERVICE AIRLINE CAREERS - Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training.

Financial aid if qualified - Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059

PUBLIC NOTICE A Fictitious Name has been registered with the Pennsylvania Dept of State on 11/28/12 pursuant to the Fictitious Names Act of 1982-295 by 3K16 Ministries w i t h p r i n c i p a l p l a ce of b u s i ness, PO BOX 6149 Elkins Park, PA 19027. Name and address of person owning said Business: Ethel Richards, PO BOX 6149, Elkins Park, PA 19027.

PW Classifieds PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM

PW Classifieds PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM

PW Classifieds PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM

PW Classifieds PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM

PW Classifieds PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM

EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY All real estate advertised in this newspaper is subject to federal, state and localfair housing laws, which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation, or discriminationbased on race; color; religion;sex; disability; familial; (presence of children);national origin; age (Pennsylvania and New Jersey); martial status or sexual orientation(Pennsylvania and New Jersey), or source of Income (Philadelphia only) in the sale, rentalor financing or insuring of housing.

This paper will not knowingly accept any advertisingfor real estate which violates these laws. The law requires that all dwellings advertised beavailable on an equal opportunity basis. If you believe you have been discriminated againstin connection with the sale, rent, financing or insuring of housing or commercial property,call HUD at 1-888-799-2085

OFFICE SPACE

Driving Results “We have

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

been happy

15XX S. 12TH ST Great Location.

Conv. located to everything. $370,000.

Call 215-834-8271.

20 ACRES FREE: BUY 40-Get 60 acres. $0-Down, $168/month. Money back guarantee. NO CREDIT CHECKS. Beautiful views. Roads/surveyed.

Near El Paso Texas. 1-800-843-7537 www.SunsetRanches.com STEEL BUILDINGS: 6 only 20x20, 25x30, 30x38, 40x54, 45x74, 60x140 Must Move Now! Selling for Balance Owed! Still Crated/Free Delivery! 1-800-211-9593x30Class: For Sale

STUDIO/ EFFICIENCY 19TH & SANSOM- Bright & Spac i o u s Stu d i o w/ H W fl o o rs, H i g h c e i l i n g s. AVA I L N O W ! H E AT/ H OT WATER INCL. $950 ✍ o. MSRE, 215925-RENT(7368), www.MichaelSingerRealEstate.com PORTER & CLARION 1st flr., $700 all utils. included. Call 215-301-5544.

LOFTS 1238 CALLOWHILL, #605: $1,700/ MO 1BD/1BA loft, 1350sqft, soaring ceilings, massive space, c/a, good light, W/D, CALL RYAN MCCANN PRU FOX & ROACH 215-627-6005/215558-2118

ONE BEDROOM 11TH & SANSOM- Very Spacious mod 1BR bi-level, HW floors, High ceilings, Spiral stairs, Bath & ´ , W/D, D/W, C/A. AVAIL FEB! $1445 ✍ o.

MSRE, 215-925-RENT(7368), www.

MichaelSingerRealEstate.com 15th & Spruce: Lrg 1BD apt in sought after location! Beautiful art-deco details, HW Flrs, Front Desk Attendant, Onsite Laundry, Wonderful City Views. Short term lease avail. $1130/mo. Avail Feb. 215-735-8030.

1238 ELLSWORTH ST. 1st.& 2nd flrs.,apts,avail.immed. Storage/ laundry fac. Hdwd Flrs, C/A, off-St. pk. deck. 215-467-8612.

2601 PENNSYLVANIA AVE, 704: $1,295/MO 1BD/1BA, wood parquet floors, extra large windows, washer/ dryer, pet friendly, CALL MELANIE MCCONNELL PRU FOX & ROACH 215627-6005/215-521-1533 BROAD & PINE Gorg 1BR w/Lg rooms.

Close to everything. Incl heat. $1095+.

PMG 215-545-7007 x302 C.C. 19th CHESNUT, SMALL 1BDRM, WW, SEP/KIT Avail Jan. 2013 $750+utils (215)735-8414

CHESTNUT HILL VILLAGE Move-In by Dec. 19th and Get the Rest of the Month Free. 1 BEDROOMS f ro m $ 8 69. F i t n e s s Ce n te r, Pe t Friendly. 215-606-0166. 7800 B. Steton Ave. Philadelphia, PA 19118, EHO. ChestnutHillVillageApts.com EARLY DEADLINES FOR HOLIDAY ISSUES: DECEMBER 26TH ISSUE - Real Estate, Employment and Adult ads Wed., 12/19, 5pm; Classified and Line ads - Thurs., 12/20, 4pm. JANUARY 2ND ISSUE - Real Estate, Employment and Adult ads - Wed., 12/26, 5pm; Classified and Line ads - Thurs., 12/27, 4pm. 215-563-1234 HUNTINGDON PARK: Spacious 1BR w/Bsmt. $555/mo, Water incl. Nate, 215-715-0878

customers of ONE BEDROOM

HOUSE FOR RENT

THE ROOSEVELT (2220 Walnut Street) - Beautifully renovated apts. in the RITTENHOUSE SQUARE AREA of Philadelphia. STUDIO’S starting at only $765/mo. and ONE BEDROOMS starting at only $965/mo. Call 215-640-8880 for an appointment.

1 3 3 2 S . H O WA R D S T N o r t h e r n Pennsport. A lovely home w/2BRs, HW floors, pretty garden. $1500.

CONWAY TEAM. PRU, FOX & ROACH, 215.627.6005/215.440.8190

TWO BEDROOM 1 1 T H & S P R U C E- N ew l y re nv td 2BR, Great light, Unique space, HW floors, C/A, Laundry on premise, AVAIL JAN! $1685 ✍ o. MSRE, 215925-RENT(7368), www.MichaelSingerRealEstate.com 1214-16 JUNIPER ST: STARTING AT $ 2 , 35 0/ M O 3, 1 -2 B D re n ta l u n i ts, ro of d e c k , p a r k i n g , w i d e plank hardwood floors, granite & stainless kitchen, c/a, CALL LAUREN ACKER PRU FOX & ROACH 215-6276005/215-440-2097 13TH & SPRUCE: Fab 2BR bilevel w/ FP and so much more. Includes heat. $1595+. PMG 215-545-7007x110 23RD & PINE- Spacious 2BR, Lots of light, High ceilings, HW floors, Laundry on premise. AVAIL NOW! HEAT/HOT WATER INCL. $1750/mo.

MSRE, 215-925-RENT(7368), www.

MichaelSingerRealEstate.com 1531 BAINBRIDGE ST, A: $2,500/MO 2BD/2.5BA condo, c/a, hardwood flrs, gourmet kitchen, large garden area, CALL RYAN MCCANN PRU FOX & ROACH 215-627-6005/215-558-2118 19TH and MIFFLIN: ALL NEW TOWNHOUSE COMPLETELY NEW, GRANITE, HRDWD, NEW APPLS., GORGEOUS. $650/mo. 215-292-2176 RITTENHOUSE SQ. AREA (2013 Walnut St.) 2BRs or 1 lg bedroom/Office, 1 bath, WD, DW, CA, Gas heat, Carpeted. $1395/mo+. 215-627-4414

THREE + BEDROOMS 1 QUEEN ST, #10- Gorgeous 3BR+ den, 2.5BA home w/HW flrs, FP, g a r d e n d e c k & g a ra g e . $ 28 0 0 .

CONWAY TEAM. PRU, FOX & ROACH, 215.627.6005/215.440.8190 1328 S.24TH ST: $1,100/MO 3BD/1BA, newly renovated, hardwood floors, rear yard, CALL RYAN MCCANN PRU FOX & ROACH 215-627-6005/215558-2118

HOUSE FOR RENT 12TH & JACKSON. 2BDRM.,BEAUTIFUL! W/ D , L O A D E D W/ E V E R Y T H I N G $ 1 20 0/ M O. + . AVA I L . J A N 1 S T. 215-651-9190.

110 KENILWORTH ST- Terrific large 4BR, 2BA home on great block. 3 FP’s HW flrs, full fin basement & paved garden. $2200. CONWAY TEAM. PRU, FOX & ROACH, 215.627.6005/215.440.8190 1 2 Q U E E N S T R E E T- M e r e d i t h School Dist. Pristine beautiful historic rehab, 4 bdrms, 2.5bths, 2 fp’s, hrdwd flrs t/o + deck. $3000.

CONWAY TEAM. PRU, FOX & ROACH, 215.627.6005/215.440.8190 1211 S.3RD ST: Great house. Large Federal Period home in Northern Pennsport. 5BRs, HW floors, high ceilings, great kitchen and bath. $2300. CONWAY TEAM. PRU, FOX & ROACH, 215.627.6005/215.440.8190

EARLY DEADLINES FOR HOLIDAY ISSUES: DECEMBER 26TH ISSUE - Real Estate, Employment and Adult ads Wed., 12/19, 5pm; Classified and Line ads - Thurs., 12/20, 4pm. JANUARY 2ND ISSUE - Real Estate, Employment and Adult ads - Wed., 12/26, 5pm; Classified and Line ads - Thurs., 12/27, 4pm. 215-563-1234

QUEEN VILLAGE: 1019 S.FAIRHILL

the Philadelphia Weekly for 16 years. PW is the ideal place to place your real estate ads.

Not only are

3BR 2BA w/Yard on quiet street, WD, DW, CA. $1700+. mcolaizzo@ comcast.net 215-922-3910

we pleased

RITTENHOUSE SQ: 1941 WAVERLY ST

with their level

2BR house w/Great yard. WD, DW. Quiet Street. $1750. mcolaizzo@ comcast.net 215-922-3910 S O. P H I L LY.1 9 T H M I F F L I N , A L L NEW, MAGNIFICENT. HDWD FLRS. 2BDRMS.,1BTH.$650/MO.215292-2176

ROOM FOR RENT 124 LOMBARD the HEART OF CENTER CITY, SOCIETY HILL, HEAD HOUSE SQ. “TOKIO B&B” STUDIOS. WALK to HISTORIC LOCATIONS, RESTAURANTS, PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. TOURIST are WELCOME! Reasonable daily rates ($55-$100) wkly rates ($300-$500) TOURIST ARE WELCOME! WE also OFFER SPECIAL monthly rates. Website http:// sushi.madamesaito.com MADAME SAITO 215-922-2515 13TH & SPRUCE- Parker Hotel CC. Fully Furn’d Rms, no sec. deposit. Utils & housekeeping incld. WK: $165-$203; Day: $40-$56. 215-735-2300.

of customer service and our representative, we also receive excellent leads from our ads we place. Thanks to PW we have had great success

ROOMMATE/ SHARING

in renting

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.com.

center city apartments.”

ARTISTS STUDIO SPACE ARTIST STUDIOS FOR RENT- $65$325 for 100-500sf. Open & private studios in beautiful 5 story warehouse in Kensington. Exposed beams & bricks with lots of natural light.

Utilities & wifi included. Info at: www.papermillarts.com Contact Karyn 215.687.8391

BUSINESS PROPERTY CHELTENHAM AREA: PREP KIT/ CATERING fully equip. Take-out rest.

Office space avail. 215-439-4916

PARKING SPACE 9TH & SPRUCE- Monthly Parking Space, AVAIL JAN! $185/mo. MSRE, 215-925-RENT(7368), www.MichaelSingerRealEstate.com

Tiffany Delio, Leasing Associate

Michael Singer Real Estate

DRIVING RESULTS REAL ESTATE PG. 49

MAKE THE RIGHT MOVE

Property Management Group, Ltd 5th & Brown

“I have been advertising in Philadelphia Weekly for 20 years.

Advertising with them has been a part of my marketing plan, and has ultimately aided me in my success.

It serves as a great way to both build presence in Center City and dominate the market.”

13th & Pine

Very large 1BR apt, incl heat and MORE!

Cool 1BR Carriage House in the heart of Northern Liberties.

$895+

$895+ 13th & Spruce

9th & Spruce

Lg Studio apt with AC and Laundry. $795+

Gorg 1BR, HW flrs, CA and Deck! $1050+

215.545.7007 www.propertymanagementgroup.com We Offer Full Management and Leasing Services

–Mike McCann “The Real Estate Man” Prudential, Fox & Roach

THE NEW YEAR’S us EVE WEEK and PULLOUT SUPPLEMENT @ Follow

Contests

Promos

pwpromos

ISSUE DATE: WEDNESDAY,12/26/12 DEADLINE: WEDNESDAY, 12/19/12

Philadelphia Weekly is proud to partner with DRWC and GPTMC and present The New Year’s Eve Week pullout supplement.

Your ad will appear in 83,000 copies of Philadelphia Weekly and 10,000 overrun distribution at the River Rink that week!

FOR MORE INFORMATION: astoller@philadelphiaweekly.com 215-599-7644

RITTENHOUSE SQUARE AVENUE OF THE ARTS QUEEN VILLAGE ART MUSEUM

annmarie or John 215.636.0100 Annmarie or John annemarie@wprg.net (215) 636-0100 Nancy or Ellen nancy or(215) ellen 546-9247 215.546.9247

$600 Many More apartMents available!

Aspen & 26th 1Bd, W/W, laundry

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POINT. CLICK. philadelphiaweekly.com/real-estate/

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y. C O M I D E C E M B E R 1 2 - 1 8 I P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y 4 9

Events

CENTER CITY EAST

$770-995 Walnut & 23rd 1 & 2Bd's, hardwood, laundry $575-1000 $995 $850-950 Pine & 21st 1Bd's, hardwood, heat incl., yard $700-1000 Pine & 22nd 1 & 2Bd, hardwood, heat incl. $750-1100 Lombard & 23rd 1 &2Bd, bi-level, A/C loCUst & 21st Fab Studio on mod tree 1Bd's, line st.C/A, HWgreat location $875-1000 $725 Chestnut & 20th Ultra $875-1700 Lombard & 19th Newly renov, mod studio, 1 & 2Bd's pine & 21st Sun-drenched lg 1BR, New& Eat-in Laundry.

MUST SEE. $1200 $770-995 Walnut 23rd 1 kit, & 2Bd's, hardwood, laundry $800-850 $575-1000 Locust & C/A, 21st heat Studios & 1Bd's, laundry, heat incl.

Broad & Spruce Mod 1Bd's, W/D, incl. $850-950 Pine & 21st 1Bd's, hardwood, yard $850-995 Lombard & 9th 1Bd & 2Bd, w/d, hardwood, laundry heat incl., $700-1000 Pine & 22nd 1 & 2Bd, hardwood, heat incl.

Pine & 9th 2Bd's, h/w floors, W/D & 23rd 1 &2Bd, bi-level, $995-1100 $750-1100 Lombard A/C broaD &Spruce sprUCe Mod 2Bd, 1BR,1-1/2 W/W, C/A bi-level, W/D $975-$1100 $875-1000 $995location Chestnut & 20thlaundry Ultra mod 1Bd's, C/A, great & 12th bath, $875-1700 & 19th Newly renov, mod$995-1350 studio, 1 & 2Bd's Spruce & 16th Old World,Lombard 1 & 2Bd's, hardwood $800-850 Broad & Spruce Mod 1Bd's, W/D, C/A, heat incl. $950-1750 Art Area Ultra Mod 1 & 3Bd's, W/D,&Deck, Parking $850-995 Lombard 9th 1Bd & 2Bd, w/d, hardwood, laundry $995-1100 & 9th 2Bd's, h/w floors, W/D $825-1375 Old&City ultra Studio, mod 1 &Pine 2Bd's, deck CHristian 2nDFab Sunny HW floors, Heat & Hot water incl $795 $995 Spruce & 12th 2Bd, 1-1/2 bath, bi-level,$1950 laundry University City 3Bd, 2 bath, totally renovated $995-1350 Spruce & 16th Old World, 1 & 2Bd's, hardwood Spring Garden Collonade-Extremely Nice $950-1750 Art Area Ultra ModStudio 1 & 3Bd's, W/D, Deck,$700 Parking $825-1375 City Fab ultraC/A mod 1 & 2Bd's, deck $600-675 Q.V. 3rd & Bambridge 1Old & 2Bd's, W/W, $1950 University City 3Bd, 2 bath, totally renovated Green &Spring 21st Garden 1BR, W/W, NewStudio, kit, Yard $895 $375 & 19th hardwood, Heat incl. $700 Spring Garden Collonade-Extremely Nice Studio $625 sprinG GarDen Den, HW floors, W/D, New Eat-in kit, Yard $1275 Fairmount& &19tH 18th1BR Modwith 1Bd, C/A, W/D $600-675 Q.V. 3rd & Bambridge 1 & 2Bd's, W/W, C/A Spring Garden & 19th Studio, hardwood, Heat incl. $600 Mt. Vernon & 21st Gret Studio, Yard, Laundry aspen & 26tH Great Studio & 1BR’s, HW floors, Laundry $745-$875$375 $625 Fairmount & 18th Mod 1Bd, C/A, W/D $700 Wallace & floors, yard sprinG GarDen & 20th 19tH1Bd, Fab parquet Jr Mt. 1BR, HW floors $675 $600 Vernon & 21st Gret Studio, Yard, Laundry Aspen & 26th 1Bd, W/W, Wallace laundry & 20th 1Bd, parquet floors, yard$600 $700 Locust & 21st Studios & 1Bd's, loMbarD & 9tH Fab 1BR, C/A, W/D laundry, heat incl.

ichael inger Real Estate

AT HOME WITH CHARACTER

WE HAVE AN APARTMENT HOME FOR YOU.

Over 50 years in the real estate business

Seasons Greetings!

SATURDAY APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE RITTENHOUSE SQUARE/FITLER SQUARE

THE CHATHAM - OPEN HOUSE SATURDAYS FROM 12:00 TO 4:00PM 135 S.20TH ST (20TH & WALNUT) – Spacious Studios in High rise, Doorman bldg w/ Magnificent Western & Southern exposure, view of Rittenhouse Square, HW floors, Laundry on site, High floor. Professionally Managed.

OCCASIONALLY AVAILABLE! ALL UTILITIES INCL. FROM $1,325 23RD & PINE – Spacious Two Bedroom, Lots of light, High ceilings, HW floors, Laundry on premise.

AVAILABLE NOW!

HEAT/HOT WATER INCL. $1,750

21ST & WALNUT

– Studio in Great location, High ceilings, HW floors, Laundry on premises.

AVAILABLE JANUARY! HEAT/HOT WATER INCL. $885

19TH & SANSOM AVAILABLE NOW!

The Chocolate Works Once the heart of “Confectioner’s Row”- today at the heart of Old City the Chocolate Works is right in the vibe.

Bright 1 and 2 bedroom apartments with many multi-level designs.

AVAILABLE JANUARY!

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At home with chArActer

$1,685

WASHINGTON SQUARE WEST

226 South St. // 215.922.4200 & Associates, Inc. Realtors

11TH & SANSOM

– Very Spacious modern One Bedroom, Bi-level, HW floors, High ceilings, Spiral staircase, Bath & ½ , W/D, D/W, C/A. AVAILABLE FEBRUARY! $1,445

5 0 p h i l a d e l p h i a w e e k l y I d e c e m b e r 1 2 - 1 8 , 2 0 1 2 I p h i l a d e l p h i a w e e k l y. c o m

Leasing Hours: Mon-Fri 10-6 Sat 10-5 • Sun Noon-5

– Bright & Spacious Studio with HW floors, High ceilings.

HEAT/HOT WATER INCL. $950

21ST & KATER – Two Bedroom townhome, HW floors, C/A, W/D, Basement & Yard, Dog friendly.

11TH & SPRUCE – Newly renovated Two Bedroom, Great light, Unique space, HW floors, C/A, Laundry on premise, AVAILABLE JANUARY!

9TH & SPRUCE –

231 North Third Street Philadelphia, PA 19106 215.351.1535

$1,685

Monthly Parking Space, AVAILABLE JANUARY!

1117 Spruce Street www.MichaelSingerRealEstate.com

$185

215-925-RENT 7

3

6

8

ONE BEDROOM 4432 SaNSOM St. (1St. FlR) UOFP 1 BR, 1 Bth, wOOD FlRS,w&D, gRaNitE kitchEN, D/w,g/D, yaRD

$750.00

aBBOttS Sq. (2ND & lOMBaRD StS)1 BEDROOM, 1 Bath, BalcONy, NEw w/w caRPEtS, c/a, w&D

$1,500.00

StUDiO 2224 S. BROaD St twO laRgE StUDiOS availaBlE, 1 Bath, tilE & w/w caRPEt, tENaNt PayS ElEctRic

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twO BEDROOMS 609 S. 4th St Bi-lEvEl 2 BEDROOMS, 1 Bath, c/a, w&D wOOD FlOORS

philadelphia weekly

In Print, Online and on your Phone!

- Published Every Wednesday 1500 Sansom St I 3rd Floor Philadelphia, pa 19102 I 215.563.7400

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cOMMERcial 25th & whaRtON StS. g-2 waREhOUSES, gaRagES, OFFicES, 800Sq. Ft tO 16,000 Sq. Ft availaBlE

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761 S. 4th St REtail StORE aPPROx 1100 Sq.Ft. PlUS BSt aND REaR yaRD c-2 cOMMERcial

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616 S. 3RD St. 700 Sq.Ft. REtail SPacE, Bath,PaRkiNg, high tRaFFic aREa (SOUth St) avail. NOw

$1,050.00+

ww w. P l U M E R R E . c O M FOR a cOMPlEtE liSt OF RENtal UNitS

POINT. CLICK. philadelphiaweekly.com/real-estate/

Follow

us Events Contests

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cEntER citY luXuRY conDominiums FoR REnt AVENUE OF THE ARTS

THE wARwiCk

wASHiNgTON SqUARE

ACADEMY HOUSE

1701 LOCUST STREET

iNDEpENDENCE pLACE

1420 LOCUST STREET

Studio, city, views, marble bath, wood floors, open high

Junior 1 bedroom, city views to the west and north, 624 sf $1,425 1 Bedroom, city views, spacious kitchen, excellent closet space, W/D in unit, 789 sf

$1,795

CENTER CiTY ONE

313 SOUTH 18TH STREET

THE AYER $995

$6,750

2527 sf

$1,375

Junior one bedroom overlooking pool club with wood floors,

dressing area, 600 sf

Junior 1 bedroom, parquet wood floors, southern exposure,

kitchen, large balcony, all rooms overlook Rittenhouse Square,

$2,750

THE CARLYLE

$6,250

like-new, 1552 sf

1 bedroom, corner unit with sunrise and city views, spacious

2 bedroom plus den, 2 baths, western city views, excellent closet space, washer/dryer, 1492 sf

$2,285

$1,465

wATERFRONT piER 5 7 N. COLUMbUS bOULEVARD 2 bedroom, 2.5 baths, updated kitchen, fireplace, 1 car parking, 1658 sf

$2,150

COMMERCiAL SpACE

SOCiETY HiLL TOwERS

1830 Rittenhouse Square – Rittenhouse Square professional or personal office space in boutique, doorman building,

1 bedroom, treetop views of Society Hill, wood floors, updated kitchen and bath, 683 sf

$1,460

1 bedroom, high floor, magnificent city views, renovated throughout, 683 sf

iNDEpENDENCE pLACE 241 South 6th Street Penthouse with 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths, balcony, magnificent city and river views, 2575 sf

658 sf

$1,850

250 S. 18th Street – Prime ground floor corner retail/office space on Rittenhouse Square, 1857 sf

$4,500

1521 Locust Street - Entire floor office space, $1,650

3500 sf

pARC RiTTENHOUSE 225 South 18th Street

2 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, private deck overlooking Rittenhouse Square, open chef’s kitchen, updated throughout, 1552 sf

$6,250

$4,850

Allan Domb Real Estate

1845 Walnut St. Suite 2200 • rentals@allandomb.com 215/545.1500 FoR A complEtE list oF ouR REntAl pRopERtiEs, plEAsE visit www.AllAnDomb.com

$17.50 psf

p h i l a d e l p h i a w e e k l y. c o m I d e c e m b e r 1 2 - 1 8 I p h i l a d e l p h i a w e e k l y 5 1

$1,350

kitchen with pantry, 595 sf

$1,050

OLD CiTY/SOCiETY HiLL

200-220 LOCUST STREET

2031 LOCUST STREET

Studio high floor, panoramic river and city views, lots of natural Studio overlooking Washington Square with alcove and

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, marble bathrooms, hardwood floors, chef’s

southern views, 1218 sf

604-36 SOUTH wASHiNgTON SqUARE

225 SOUTH 18TH STREET

226 w. RiTTENHOUSE SqUARE

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, hardwood floors, balcony, panoramic

HOpkiNSON HOUSE

light, 415 sf

open kitchen with breakfast bar, marble bathroom, 512 sf $1,950

$1,620

$4,500

pARC RiTTENHOUSE

THE DORCHESTER

recently updated kitchen, 611 sf

210 w. wASHiNgTON SqUARE 270 degree city views, 1662 sf

2020 wALNUT STREET

549 sf

designer kitchen and baths, wood floors, custom built closets,

$4,850

2 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, designer kitchen and baths, wood floors,

Studio, high floor, large bay window, open kitchen, city view,

3 bedrooms, 3 baths, large and light-filled rooms throughout,

$1,625

Penthouse, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, magnificent river views,

building less than two blocks from Rittenhouse Square,

wANAMAkER HOUSE

237 S. 18TH STREET

860 sf fireplace, updated kitchen and baths, 2575 sf

Studio, lots of natural light, balcony, great closet space, 494 sf

THE bARCLAY

1 Bedroom, open kitchen, updated bathroom, balcony,

Studio, wood floors, updated kitchen and bath, W/D, boutique

325 sf

RiTTENHOUSE SqUARE

$1,325

end kitchen, 381 sf

1326 SpRUCE STREET

$1,200

233-241 S. 6TH STREET

opEN houSES CALL 215.563.1234 Times are subject to change.

Calling ahead to confirm time is advised.

Solo Real Estate, Inc.

215/564-7656 • solorealty.com Member MLS

Monday through Friday 8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Submit ads online at philadelphiaweekly.com

DEADLINES:

Display ads - Fridays @ 5 p.m. Line ads - Mondays @ 4:30 p.m.

RENTAL OPEN HOUSE SATURDAY 12/15/12 12:00-4:00PM RITTENHOUSE SQUARE The Chatham, 135 S.20th St Starting at $1,325/mo.

MICHAEL SINGER REAL ESTATE

SALE OPEN HOUSES SUNDAY 12/16/12 12:00-1:00PM BELLA VISTA 616 Christian Street $469,900 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH SOCIETY HILL 210 Pine Street $875,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH GRADUATE HOSPITAL 776 S. Harshaw Street $364,900 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH

GRADUATE HOSPITAL 2027 Pemberton Street $575,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH ART MUSEUM AREA 2047 North Street $495,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH SOCIETY HILL 32 St. James $535,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH AVENUE OF THE ARTS 1331 Webster Street $315,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH

12:00-2:00PM GRADUATE HOSPITAL 1819 Carpenter Street $335,000 ELFANT WISSAHICKON

1:30-2:30PM EAST OF BROAD 929 Dickinson Street $445,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH GRADUATE HOSPITAL 2116 Carpenter Street $525,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH

FAIRMOUNT 911 N. 19th St., A $154,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH

GRADUATE HOSPITAL 2229 Pemberton Street $550,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH

BELLA VISTA 610 Catharine Street $325,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH

OLD CITY 15 Appletree $525,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH

SOCIETY HILL 419 Spruce St., C $325,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH

224-226 W WILDEY NORTHERN LIBERTIES NEW PRICE! $599,000 5 yr old Construction w/ tax abatement, sold w/ adjoining landscaped Garden, 4 BRs, 2 1/2 Ba, wood flrs throughout, wonderful details, Finished Basement

BELLA VISTA 810-12 S. Delhi Street $319,900 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH OLD CITY 317 Vine St., 201 $874,900 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH

3:00-4:00PM NORTHERN LIBERTIES 609 Poplar Street $550,000 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH RITTENHOUSE SQUARE 1520 Naudain Street $569,900 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH QUEEN VILLAGE 302 Salter Street $439,900 PRUDENTIAL, FOX, & ROACH

View open house listings at: philadelphiaweekly.com/real-estate/open-house/

JOHN BROWN & ASSOCIATES F E AT U R E D L I S T I N G 5 2 P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y I D E C E M B E R 1 2 - 1 8 , 2 0 1 2 I P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y. C O M

FEATURED PROPERTY

616 CHRISTIAN STREET 3 BEDROOMS | 2.5 BATHROOMS Spread out in this expansive Bella Vista townhouse where room proportions are unlike most homes in the area. Vestibule entry leads to wide open living and dining areas that are finished with beautiful moldings and hard wood floors. A newer kitchen is well designed, features charming windows looking onto patio, handsome appliances and generous cabinets. Second floor features a private deck, two spacious bedrooms and a roomy bath. The third floor master suite is just what you want… walk-in closets and a gorgeous spalike bathroom. Family room, powder room, laundry and storage in basement add to the overall spacious feeling this house provides.

$469,900 FOX&ROACH

2407 GORDON FISHTOWN NEW PRICE! $259,000

Historic restored house w/modern amenities & systems. Liv Rm & Sep Din Rm w/new pine flrs, New fully equipped Kitchen w/Granite c-tops, wood cabinets & SS appls. French dr to Patio w/plantings. 2nd flr: 2 BRs both w/restored pine flrs, renov tile Bath. 3rd flr: Main Bedroom suite, w/ Dressing room/Study/4th Bedroom: restored pine fls. New Bath w/hex tile flr & subway tile walls around tub. Top Quality Renovation.

205-207 FAIRMOUNT NEW LISTING! Double wide property- amazing space, 5000 sq NORTHERN LIBERTIES ft. 1st floor open studio space, open living/dining/kitchen, + 4 $690,000 Bedrooms, Double Garden

3 adjacent properties, Renov. 3 story Townhome, + 2 lots, huge 1520-24 N 2ND ST garden & pkg. Open Liv/Din with oak flrs, high clgs, Eat-In Kit KENSINGTON NEW PRICE! $430,000 w/ granite tops, SS appliances, wd cab. 2 .5 B,3 BRS Move-In

THE NEW YEAR’S EVE WEEK PULLOUT SUPPLEMENT

ISSUE DATE: WEDNESDAY,12/26/12 DEADLINE: WEDNESDAY, 12/19/12

Philadelphia Weekly is proud to partner with DRWC and GPTMC and present The New Year’s Eve Week pullout supplement.

Your ad will appear in 83,000 copies of Philadelphia Weekly and 10,000 overrun distribution at the River Rink that week!

REALTORS 530 Walnut Street, Suite 260 • Philadelphia, PA 19106 • 215.440.8173 / 215.627.6005 john.brown@prufoxroach.com • www.johnbrownteam.com.

John Brown, Sean Kaplan, Eden Silverstein, Greg Williams

NATIONALLY RANKED WITHIN THE “TOP 100” SALES TEAMS BY PRUDENTIAL REAL ESTATE AFFILIATES!

FOR MORE INFORMATION: astoller@philadelphiaweekly.com 215-599-7644

New Listings Building Lots – Corners 6th and Tree

WWW.MCCANNTEAM.COM

Double Wide. 28 x 69. $50,000.

8th and Shunk 16 x 57. $38,000.

THINKING OF SELLING?

South Philadelphia 707 Mifflin Street

HOUSE HUNTING?

Just completed. 3 Bedrooms. 1 Full Bath. 2 Powder Rooms. Hardwoods. $194,500.

2038 S. 22nd Street 2 Master Suites. Hardwoods. Deck. Finished Basement. $164,000.

1945 Sigel Street 3 Bedrooms. $39,900.

1701 S 19th Street Three Apartments. Corner. $159,500.

LOOK NO FURTHER

1123 S 23rd Street Large Corner with Garage. $150,000.

Warehouse 1613-27 Germantown Avenue 9600 sq. ft. on one floor. 13 ft. Ceilings. Overhead door on 4th Street. $299,000.

City Line & Belmont Avenue Short Sale 4439 Sherwood Road 3 Bedrooms. Hardwoods. Garage. Finished Basement.

Front Yard. $157,500.

Educational and Meeting Center Sale/Lease 2501-2515 S. Marshall Street 15,000 sq. ft on 3 floors. Elevator. Large Auditorium.

Classrooms. Dining Area. $495,000 sale/$5500 Month Lease.

Fred r. levine r e a l

e s tat e

215-465-3733

HOUSE HUNTING? LOOK NO FURTHER

THINKING OF BUYING?

NEW THIS WEEK! BELLA VISTA ART MUSEUM AREA $309,900 810-12 S. Delhi Bright, wide open 2BD/2BA home with charming patio, updated kitchen with breakfast bar, and magnificent master bedroom suite, all designed with hardwood floors and tons of natural light!

SOCIETY HILL

$325,000

Immaculate 1BD/1BA condo with parking; all in perfect move in condition! Charming with wood floors, cozy bedroom suite, stainless and granite kitchen, crystal clean bath and common courtyard!

PASSYUNK SQUARE

$349,900

Just pack your bags! Beautiful and sophisticated 3BD/1.5BA rehab with amazing space and every modern amenity available! High ceilings, hardwood floors, gourmet kitchen, tons of light and large rear patio/yard!

ART MUSEUM AREA 1502 Mount Vernon $189,900 Gorgeous 2BD/1BA condo unit at Chatham Row Condominiums featuring a granite stainless kitchen, high ceilings, and an incredible abundance of natural light, all located conveniently to center city life.

2730-36 W. George

$199,000

Incredible value lies in these perfectly located 4 lots close to the Art Museum and Fairmount areas; lots measure13 x 33; 12 x 32; 12 x 32; and 12 x 32 and there may be a possibility of combining and building 2 or 3 homes!

2047 North

$495,000

Newly renovated 3BD/2.5BA garage front home with 1-car garage, fireplace, roof terrace, and private patio, boasting tons of space, hardwood floors, and many luxurious amenities.

$319,900

Adorable 2.5 story, 2BD/1BA home with fantastic adjoining lot, original pine floors, and fire place mantle, also beautifully designed with granite and stainless kitchen and a stunning bedroom suite!

QUEEN VILLAGE 610 Catharine

$325,000

Philly life and culture resides in this 2BD/1BA home with exquisite space, hardwood floors, and a wide open stainless tile kitchen, complete with beautiful baths and many lovely details throughout. Also available for rent! $1700/ month unfurnished, $1850/month furnished.

OLD CITY 317 Vine St 201

$874,900

Gorgeous and contemporary 2 bed, 2 bath corner condo unit with 1-car garage parking, balcony deck, grand floor to ceiling windows throughout in York Square Condominiums!

FITLER SQUARE 2520-22 South St

$695,000

Located adjacent to the South Street bridge, this spacious, double wide office building boasts over 5,400sqft and is complete with several bathrooms throughout, basement, and a reception area.

SOCIETY HILL 32 Saint James Ct 36

$535,000

Breathtaking 2BD/2BA condo unit with a wide open living/dining room and magnificent master bedroom suite, all thoughtfully designed with hardwood floors, large windows, and a stainless tile kitchen, also featuring a common courtyard.

GRADUATE HOSPITAL 1905 Webster $272,000 Immaculate 2BD/1BA home with hardwood floors, granite & stainless kitchen, and wide open, fenced in cement yard, complete with many intricate details!

2125 Clymer

$308,900

Adorable and beautifully renovated 2BD/1BA home with fun yard, charming fireplace, and stainless kitchen, complete with hardwood floors, high ceilings, and recessed lighting!

2116 Carpenter

$525,000

Contemporary new construction 3BD/2.5BA home with 2 Juliet balconies, finished basement, and a rooftop terrace with wet bar, complete with hardwood floors, custom granite and stainless kitchen, and a playful yard!

West Condominiums with wide open space, hardwood floors, and lovely granite kitchen, all located in a gated community just a stone’s throw from Center City!

1147-53 N. 4th 6E

$499,900

With more space than one can dream, this 2-story 2BD/3BA penthouse is complete with 2,408 sqft, garage parking, and granite and stainless, also impeccably designed with exposed beams, hardwood and granite floors, and an entire wall of windows, all facing breathtaking views!

LUXURY RENTALS 1214-16 Juniper

$2,350

Three, 1BD to 2BD high end rental units featuring a gorgeous roof deck, convenient parking, wide plank hardwood floors, designed with granite & stainless kitchen, with many other luxurious details!

1215 S. Broad

$1,750- $1,950

Three, 2BD pristine rental units offering convenient parking, roof deck, and impeccable fireplace mantles, complete with high ceilings, moldings and stained glass windows, all found in a charming neighborhood!

CALL 215.440.8345 ART MUSEUM AREA

$185,000

QUEEN VILLAGE

$449,900

OLD CITY

$525,000

SOCIETY HILL

$779,000

SOCIETY HILLL

$850,000

SOCIETY HILL

$875,000

Ultra unique and bright 1BD/1BA home condo unit with wide open space, finished wood parquet floors, and a newer kitchen, all located in a beautiful and convenient area!

Beautifully designed new construction 3BD/2.5BA home with roof deck, den, and granite and stainless kitchen, with hardwood floors, high ceilings, and luxurious details throughout!

Open and delightful 3BD/2BA home with 2-car garage, gas fireplace, and sleek granite & stainless kitchen, also featuring gorgeous hardwood floors, a large front window, and an incredible master bedroom suite!

Cozy and spacious 3BD/3BA home with a wonderful layout, large den, and a second kitchen, along with plenty of storage space and potential, all found in a fantastic location.

Absolutely stunning and spacious 3BD/2.5BA home with garage, cozy den, all new rooftop deck, and Juliet balcony, expertly designed with a fireplace, detailed wood molding, hardwood floors, 2-story dining area, and custom granite and stainless kitchen.

Fantastically located 3BD/3BA home featuring 1-year prepaid parking, contemporary kitchen, a red brick patio, and finished basement with bar, also complete with wood burning fireplace, beautiful hardwood floors, and charming crown moldings!

RITTENHOUSE SQUARE $1,650,000 Magnificent and unparalleled , 3BD/3.5BA corner unit condo at the Ritz Carlton offering 1-car parking, banquet for dining, and several custom finishes, beautifully designed with a den and a master bedroom complete with 4 large closets and a marble bath!

FOX & ROACH REALTORS

215.627.6005 • 215.440.8345 philadelphiaweekly.com/realestate AN INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED MEMBER OF THE PRUDENTIAL REAL ESTATE AFFILIATES, INC.

p h i l a d e l p h i a w e e k l y. c o m I d e c e m b e r 1 2 - 1 8 I p h i l a d e l p h i a w e e k l y 5 3

NORTHERN LIBERTIES AVENUE OF THE ARTS 723 Melon Pl F $130,000 1331 Webster $315,000 Flawless 2BD/1BA condo unit in newly renovated Liberties Exquisitely renovated 2BD/1.5BA home with finished basement, granite & stainless kitchen, and fenced rear patio, complete with gorgeous hardwood floors and other magnificent details, all designed by an established and detail-oriented developer!

Real ESTATE starting on PG. 49

CALL 215.778.0901

AND HIS FIVE STAR TEAM

SALE

QUEEN VILLAGE RITTENHOUSE

3 Story Victorian Row SQUARE Duplex Just Renovated!

1 Bedroom 1 Bath $335,000 $339,000 MLS 5965620 MLS 5787044

FEATURED PROPERTY SOCIETY HILL Fabulous Townhouse 6 Bedrooms, 2.5 Baths

$950,000

Powers Brangan

215.893.9920

$225,000 MLS MLS # 5777406 6142227

FEATURED FEATURED New Construction Twin PROPERTY HOLME CIRCLE

PROPERTY

3 The Bedrooms, 2.5 Baths Residences at

$264,900 $489,555

$274,900 THE MURANO

The Residences MLS 6125061 Satring in the

MLS 5746449 MLS 6110370

$400,000s at THE MURANO

CENTER CITY NORTHERN PENNSPORT Duplex LIBERTIES

GRADUATE HOSPITAL

$269,900 $182,900

$349,900

Starting Stunning Rehabin the 3 Bedrooms, 2.5 Baths $400,000s

Adorable WalkersRow Paradise! $379,000 1 Bedroom 1 Bath 3MLS Bedrooms, 5897864 Bath

Chestnut Hill 8039 Germantown Avenue Philadelphia, PA 19118

MLS 5744269

MLS 6128892

MLS 6124169

For over 80 years the most respected name in Philadelphia Real Estate Center City’s Largest Independent Realtor 5 4 p h i l a d e l p h i a w e e k l y I d e c e m b e r 1 2 - 1 8 , 2 0 1 2 I p h i l a d e l p h i a w e e k l y. c o m

MLS 5784384

MLS 6122699

3 Bedrooms State of the2artBaths Spacious Twin Loft Condominium $239,000 5 Bedrooms, 3 Baths 2 Bedrooms MLS 59569862 Baths

215.247.3600

$329,900 MLS 5965611

Sunny Townhouse Spacious Unit in 6 Sunny Townhouse 33 Bedrooms 2.5Baths Baths Bedrooms 2.5 Condo Building $259,900 2 Baths 2 $242,500 Bedrooms, MLS 5790241 MLS 5790241 $229,900

Powers Brangan PENNSPORT CENTER WEST MOUNTCITY AIRY

Rittenhouse Square 2000 Pine Street Philadelphia, PA 19103

$369,000 3 Bedrooms 2.5 Baths

UNIVERSITY SPRING ARTS CITY UNIVERSITY CITY

$339,000 1819 Carpenter Street 1 Bedroom 1 Bath MLS 5950613 $335,000 Alexandra

Duplex Open Floor Plan

MLS 6134169

UNIVERSITY CITY WASHINGTON OPEN SUNDAY 12-2 3 Bedrooms SQUARE1.5 Baths GRADUATE HOSPITAL Charming Condominium

EWRhomes.com Alexandra

QUEEN VILLAGE FISHTOWN

& Associates, Inc. Realtors

thIs week’s FeAtuRed PRoPeRtIes

326 SPRUCE ST

Stunning Greek Revival mansion, 4+br, 4.5b, library, den, amazing original detail, beautiful garden, elevator, parking

$2,295,000 Call Karen Joslin

410 S 11TH ST

Corner contemporary 3br, 2.5b, h/w flrs, basement, gated parking, reduced!

$560,000 Call Tom Guglielmo

1104 PINE ST

Triplex with amazing bi-level 3br, 2b owner’s unit. Also 2 1br units, beautiful detail, separate meters, across from Kahn Park

$1,199,000 Call Izzy Sigman

2440 ASPEN ST ART MUSUEM

3 story Victorian, 4br, 1.5b, +/-1950sf, new gourmet kitchen, garden, bi-level deck

$510,000 Call Isabelle Meyer

128 CUTHBERT ST

Exquisite AIA award winning renovation, 2br, 2.5b, roof deck, finished basement, deeded parking

$952,000 Call Bruce Benjamin

2028 LATIMER ST

Charming 2br, 1.5b, h/w flrs, many upgrades, roof deck

$359,900 Call Karen Joslin

search all Center City Properties at: www.PlumerRE.com

2028 ST ALBANS ST GRADUATE HOSPITAL

New townhouse with 3br, 2.5b, finished basement, roof deck, parking available in rear, tax abatement pending

$595,000 Call Jody Volpe

1819 S CAMAC ST PASSYUNK SQ NEW LISTING!

2br, 1b, great light, wonderful yard, move-in condition

$249,000 Call Bruce Benjamin

226 South Street

215 922 4200

CENTER CITY LUXURY CONDOMINIUMS FOR SALE! Avenue of the Arts Center City One

rittenhouse squAre cont.

1 bedroom, south views, balcony, excellent closet space,

873 sf

$245,000

rittenhouse squAre 2031 DelanCey Street

Dramatic 5 story town home, completely renovated throughout, beautifully restored original details, garage, 6160 sf

3,422 sf

1,950 sf

$1,750,000

$1,475,000

$1,350,000

$610,000

$550,000

Wanamaker hOuSe

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, eat-in kitchen, large bay windows with city views

parC rittenhOuSe

2 bedrooms, 1 bath, pristine condition, wood floors, city skyline and pool club views Open SunDay 12/16 • 12:15-12:45pm

1,198 sf

829 Sf

$539,900

$539,900

2 bedrooms, 2 baths. penthouse floor, new bathrooms, updated kitchen, wood floors throughout 1,146 sf

220 W. rittenhOuSe SQuare Completely renovated , 1 bedroom, open chef’s kitchen, designer bathroom, partial view of rittenhouse Square, no detail left undone 918 sf the WarWiCk 1br, 1ba, hardwood floors, marble ba, custom kitchen 712 sf

$489,900 $450,000 $399,900

220 WeSt rittenhOuSe SQuare 1 bedroom, completely renovated with designer kitchen and bath, wood floors

bank builDing

bank builDing SOCiety hill tOWerS

SOCiety hill tOWerS

975 Sf 1 bedroom, south views, spacious kitchen, hardwood floors, walk-in closet in master bedroom 651 sf

$395,000 $379,000

1 bedroom, high floor, panoramic city views, lots of natural light, open kitchen 704 sf

$349,900

abbOtt’S SQuare abbOtt’S SQuare SOCiety hill tOWerS

wAshington squAre the lippinCOtt

2 bedroom plus den, 3.5 bathroom home with views of Washington Square, a designer kitchen, wonderful living/entertaining space and lavish master suite 3510 sf $3,500,000 220 W. WaShingtOn SQuare entire floor 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom home, Washington Square views, custom finishes and features throughout 3,720sf sf $1,995,000 inDepenDenCe plaCe bi-level penthouse, 2br. 2.5ba, 2 kitchens, impeccably finished throughout, amazing river and city views 4,403 sf $1,800,000 the lippinCOtt 3 bedrooms plus den, 2.5 baths, treetop views of Washington Square, open floor plan, gourmet kitchen, high end finishes throughout 2716 sf $1,750,000 the ayer 2 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, balcony, open bulthaup kitchen, wood floors, designer baths 1662 sf $1,149,900 StriCklanD rOW 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, bi-level, wood floors, open kitchen 857 sf $299,900 inDepenDenCe plaCe 1br, 1ba, wood floors throughout, upgraded kitchen and ba, custom closets, balcony 940 sf $269,900

wAterfront pier 5

Wanamaker hOuSe

raw space that can be designed and built into a custom home overlooking independence mall 3,068 sf $1,150,000 brand new 2 br + den, 2.5 ba home, lots of natural light, wood flrs, open chef’s kitchen, designer ba, services available 2,025 sf $1,100,000 from adjoining Omni hotel brand new 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, furnished, all custom finishes, high barrel ceilings, exposed brick 2101 sf $895,000 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, magnificent city and river views, lots of natural, open chef’s kitchen, brand new master bath 1515 sf $599,900 2 br, 1 ba, parquet wood floors, washer/dryer, unobstructed river views, floor-to-ceiling windows 1,200 sf $399,000 Corner 1 bedroom, totally furnished, renovated throughout with custom finishes and features, magnificent city views 803 sf $379,900 1 bedroom, 1.5 baths, bi-level, great closet space, balcony, excellent condition 989 sf $289,900 1 bedroom, 1.5 baths, balcony, large kitchen, separate dining area 842 sf $269,900 1br, high floor, river view, investment opportunity 700 sf $269,900

3 bedrooms, 3 baths, bridge and river views, updated kitchen, generous entertaining space, deck 2229 sf $325,000

SOCiety hill tOWerS

the philaDelphian

the WarWiCk

corner 1 bedroom, furnished, chef’s kitchen, designer bath, 803 sf

3 bedrooms, 2 baths, balcony, penthouse, updated throughout, center city skyline views, 2017 sf

3 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, 270 degree city views, like-new condition 2000 sf

$379,900 Condo fees: $549 taxes: $232 monthly Cost after tax to Own: $1,846

$775,000

$1,050,000 COnDO feeS: $1,169

COnDO feeS: $1,393

taxeS: $400

taxeS: $710

mOnthly after tax COSt tO OWn: $4,177

mOnthly after tax COSt tO OWn: $4,178

Allan Domb Real Estate 215.545.1500 • www.allandomb.com “wE COOpERATE wITh ALL REALTORS®”

www.lanesboroughcondo.com • www.bankresidences.com • www.thewarwickcondos.com • www.parcrittenhouse.com

p h i l a d e l p h i a w e e k l y. c o m I d e c e m b e r 1 2 - 1 8 I p h i l a d e l p h i a w e e k l y 5 5

parC rittenhOuSe

society hill

SOCiety hill tOWerS

1 bedroom plus den, 1.5 bathroom (can easily be converted to 2 bedrooms and 2.5 baths), custom kitchen, wood and marble floors, generous living space

rittenhOuSe SavOy

penthouse with 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths, magnificent city skyline views, renovated kitchen and master bathroom 2017 sf $775,000 2601 parkWay COnDOminiumS 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, art museum and river views, wood floors throughout, washer/dryer in the unit 910 Sf $204,900

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, corner unit with lots of light, updated kitchen, beautiful hardwood floors throughout 1,050 sf

rittenhOuSe plaza

the philaDelphian

bank builDing

2 bedrooms, 3 baths, gourmet kitchen, new bathrooms, magnificent hardwood floors, no detail has been left undone

the barClay

$319,900 $299,900

Art MuseuM

3 bedrooms, 3 baths, all rooms overlook rittenhouse Square, 2 sets of Juliet balconies, lavish master suite, brand new 1,709sf

the barClay

$1,975,000

5 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, highly coveted block, formal living space, large master suite, outdoor space 4560sf

parC rittenhOuSe

$2,575,000

bi-level penthouse with dramatic sunset views of the city, lavish entire flat master suite, great entertaining space Open SunDay 12/16 • 1:00-1:30pm

1828 DelanCey Street

$3,600,000

entire floor home with 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths, lavish master suite, custom finishes and features throughout 3,446 sf

the rittenhOuSe

Studio, wood floors, large marble bath, panoramic sunset view 583 sf Junior 1 bedroom, wood floors, marble bath , open kitchen, sunrise city view 531 sf Open SunDay 12/16 • 11:30-12:00pm

elevator, outdoor space the laneSbOrOugh

the rittenhOuSe the WarWiCk