Strategies #3 Your Social Network and #4 Your Caregiving Team

By Joan Zaretsky

Before we start to discuss the next two strategies of Sue Lantz’s framework, we are pleased to announce that Sue will be speaking to RTAM members and community members as our guest speaker at our upcoming RTAM Annual General Meeting being held in Brandon on May 2, 2023. Check out the poster in this KIT magazine and sign up if you are interested in attending. It promises to be a rewarding time for all attendees as you learn more about mapping out your unique plan for the best years of your retired life.

In the last KIT, I explained some of the different aspects of the first two strategies in Sue’s framework – your Health and your Housing. This article will outline some of the many key decisions you will need to make in planning your Social Connections and your Caregivers for the different needs you experience during your retirement years.

#3 Your Social Network

Sue starts this chapter off with the following comment: “Our social connections and relationships are important life assets. Friends help us be healthy, connected and protected. Our social network provides a vital support system for our best aging journey.” Health journals and newspaper articles developed during COVID highlighted the importance of older adults having a network of friends and family to support them through the social isolation many of them were experiencing while staying safe in their homes. As we move through our life’s journey, we add new friends and lose others as a result of death, divorce, and changing relationships. When your social network shrinks to a minimum, there is danger threatening both your physical and mental health.

Sue highlights the benefits of having a strong and varied social network:

1. “People can help us find and access resources such as services or products and they can help us make informed choices.

2. People help us stay productive and creative.

3. People can protect us in challenging times or situations.

4. People can help us feel part of something larger than ourselves, providing us with a sense of security and belonging.”

She describes the four types of friends – acquaintances, casual friends, close friends and intimate friends. She lists the “Top 10 Ideas for Making New Social Connections” which includes saying yes to any invitations you are offered from trusted friends, talking to people in a spontaneous way when you are out in public or volunteering in a community-based project or event. In researching her information for her book, she found that “The City of Vancouver’s Healthy City Strategy” calls for all residents to have a minimum of four individuals they can contact in times of need. She concludes noting “Your inner circle of all-weather friends are key connections for building the kinds of support you will need on your aging journey.”

#4 Your Caregiving Team

While there has been increased attention paid to the role of the caregiver supporting the older adult, this section highlights the importance of “intentionally selecting, building and preparing a caregiver team”. Often when a person becomes ill and requires some additional care, a child, friend or partner is given the full load of becoming the caregiver. Sue outlines the importance of spreading the load and informing the caregivers in advance as to your desires and expectations as you move forward in your retirement years. She suggests 13 potential caregiver roles which you may approach your friends and loved ones to fill including such roles as accountant, financial advisor, insurance advisor, logistical helper (driver, grocery runs, home repair, snow shoveling, etc), home maintenance helper and others. Sue emphasizes the importance of holding many conversations with your team over the years and offers “strategies to make these preparatory conversations a success.” She suggests you:

• “Approach the conversation with an open mind.

• Be straight forward and factual.

• Indicate the shared goal.

• Ask questions.

• Allow space in the conversations for emotions to be shared.

• Leave the conversation open for future discussions.

• Express your appreciation.

• Plan for something fun after the conversation to lighten things up.”

As you may have noticed in this series of articles, Sue has spent time thoughtfully developing the framework, followed by the strategies to implement it in an organized simple format for