This Week

Events

14TH ANNUAL NEVER FORGET MEMORIAL RUN:

The 14th Annual Never Forget Memorial Motorcycle Run Parade will kick off with guest speakers, a presentation of the colors by the color guard and the singing of the National Anthem. The parade will begin at Idlewild Park at noon. A barbecue chicken lunch will follow the parade. There will be live music, beer and a variety of vendors, raffle prize drawings and a 50-50 drawing. Sa, 9/12, 9am-4pm. Free. Idlewild Park, 1900 Idlewild Drive, (775) 830-8405; www.ironnationmc.com.

AUSTINPALOOZA: Benefit concert featuring Miki Rae, The Engineered Disaster,

Seymour’s Trick Bag and Lavish Green.

All donations benefit Austin’s House. F, 9/11, 5pm. Donations. Carson Valley Inn, 1627 Highway. 395, Minden, (775) 782-9711; www.carsonvalleyinn.com. CARSON CITY GHOST WALKING TOURS: Explore

Carson City’s rich and intriguing history during seasonal Ghost Walking Tours led by Madame Curry. The “spirit”-lead, guided walking tour takes attendees to some of the downtown district’s westside historic homes and businesses. Some of the outside stops on the tour include the Bliss Mansion, Ferris Mansion and Rinckel Mansion. The 90-minute guided walking tour leaves rain or shine. Please arrive at least 10 minutes before the walk begins. Tours depart from 3rd and Carson streets next to the St. Charles Hotel (Firkin & Fox Pub). Advance tickets are available online at http://www.brownpapertickets.com. Sa, 9/12, 6:30pm; Sa, 9/19, 6:30pm; Sa,

10/24, 10am-2:30pm. $15 in advance, $20 at the door, free for kids under age 3.

Carson City Ghost Walk, corner of Third and Curry Streets behind Firkin & Fox/

St. Charles Hotel, Carson City, (775) 3486279; http://carsoncityghostwalk.com. FEED THE CAMEL: The family-friendly food truck event features mobile food purveyors, libations and arts.

W, 5-8pm through 9/30. McKinley Arts

& Culture Center, 925 Riverside Drive, (775) 450-0062; https://www. facebook.com/pages/Feed-TheCamel/256832417824677?fref=ts.

THE GREAT RENO BALLOON RACE: The 34th

annual hot air balloon race features nearly 100 balloons and 16 special shapes. Popular attractions include the Glow Show, Dawn Patrol and the mass ascension of all the hot air balloons. F, 9/11, 5:15-11am; Sa, 9/12, 5-11am; Su, 9/13,

5-11am. Free admission. Rancho San

Rafael Regional Park, 1595 N. Sierra St.; (775) 826-1181; https://renoballoon.com. HIGH HEELS & HOPES CHARITY FASHION

SHOW: Outsiders Hair Salon and a variety of local designers and artists present the second annual fashion show and designer showcase featuring a special “Studs in Stilettos” charity auction all to benefit “Cut It Out,” a program for salons against domestic abuse. F, 9/11, 7-10pm. $20 general admission. Grand Sierra Resort, 2500 E. Second St., (775) 813-1822.

LAKE TAHOE SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL: The

festival expands its season with The

Summer Encore Showcase, Aug. 27–Sept. 12. M-Su through 9/12. $15 and up. Sand

Harbor State Park, 2005 Highway. 28,

Incline Village, (800) 747-4697; http:// laketahoeshakespeare.com. LET THEM EAT ART—POP UP DINNER: The

event includes five-course art-themed menu with wine pairings, a tour of the historic Lake Mansion and an opportunity to paint your own wine glass. BYOB is permitted without corkage fee. $20 from each ticket will be donated back to Arts for All Nevada. Th, 9/10, 6:30pm. $75. Arts for All Nevada, 250 Court St., (775) 400-3855. ditional writers like Will James, Robert

Laxalt and Joanne Delongchamps, then walk the haunts of contemporary writers such as Bernie Schopen, Willy Vlautin and Susan Palwick. Reservations are required. Sa, 9/12, 9-11:30am. $10, free for Historic Reno Preservation Society members. Riverside Artist Lofts, 17 S.

Virginia St., (775) 747-4478, www.historicreno.org. NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP AIR RACES: The

52nd annual event is the only closed course pylon racing event in the world and is the world’s longest running air race. Six different race plane classes battle just 60 feet from the ground with the Unlimited and Jet classes reaching speeds over 500 mph. There’s also an air show, military display and demonstrations and aircraft display. W-Su, 8am-4:30pm through 9/20. Opens 9/16.

$6-$35 general admission. Reno Stead

Airport, 4895 Texas Ave. 8 miles north of downtown Reno in Stead, (775) 972-6663, http://airrace.org. PICASSO & WINE: Grab your friends, enjoy a beverage of your choice from the

Marketplace Wine Bar and let instructors guide you step by step through an original painting. At the end of the evening you get to take home your work of art. Su, 9/13, 11am-1:30pm. $35 per per-

son. Great Western Marketplace, 4855

Summit Ridge Drive, (775) 453-1168. RAIL CITY FARMERS’ MARKET: The boutique

market will offer fresh produce and products from local farms and food purveyors, including Snyder Family Farms, Workman Farms, Sand Hill Dairy, the Bakery Gallery and Mitchell Pickle Packing Company. Su, 10am-2pm through

9/27. Free admission. Rail City Garden

Center, 1720 Brierley Way, Sparks, (775) 355-1551, www.railcitygardencenter.com. RENO GEM FAIRE: The fair features fine jewelry, precious and semi-precious gemstones, millions of beads, crystals, gold and silver minerals and more at manufacturer’s prices. F, 9/11, 12-6pm;

Sa, 9/12, 10am-6pm; Su, 9/13, 10am-5pm.

$7 weekend pass. Reno-Sparks Livestock

Events Center, 1350 N. Wells Ave., (503) 252-8300; www.gemfaire.com. RENO STREET FOOD: PARTY IN THE PARK:

The gourmet street food event features more than 25 gourmet food, craft desserts, beer, wine and mixed drinks vendors and live music. Relax in the park and bring your lawn chairs and a blanket. F, 5-9pm through 10/2. Free admis-

sion. Idlewild Park, 1900 Idlewild Drive, (775) 825-2665, www.facebook.com/ RenoStreetFood.

RENO’S THIRD ANNUAL HEMOPHILIA WALK

& 5K: The third annual walk/run raises funds and awareness for those affected by inherited bleeding disorders. There will be a 9 a.m. on-site registration and the one-mile walk and 5K run will begin at 10 a.m. Attendees will be able to enjoy a barbecue, activities in the park and a team T-shirt contest. All walkers or runners who collect more than $25 in walk pledges will receive a 2015 Hemophilia

Walk T-shirt. Sa, 9/12, 9am. Walkers/

Runners are encouraged to resigster and collect donations for hfnv.org.

Virginia Lake Park and Virginia Shelter, 1980 Lakeside Drive, (702) 564-4368, www.hfnv.org. SNC TAHOE’S COMMUNITY READ: This year’s

Community Read, a communal reading program that is open to the entire Lake Tahoe community, will feature books and graphic novels that present an interesting relationship between text and image. Th, 9/10, 5pm; F, 9/11, 7pm; Sa, 9/12, 9am-noon; Tu, 9/29, 6:30-8:30pm; W, 10/7, 6:30pm; Th, 10/22, 6pm. Sierra Nevada

College, 999 Tahoe Blvd., Incline Village, (775) 831-1314. SPARKS FOOD TRUCK DRIVE-IN: The

to bring blankets, stadium and low-back chairs, and an appetite. Adult beverages may be purchased from 39 North establishments. Sa, 9/12, 6-9pm. Free. Victorian Square, 14th Street and Pyramid Way along Victorian Ave., Sparks; (775) 450-0062; https://www.facebook.com/ foodtruckdrivein?fref=ts.

All Ages

ACTING AT THE LAKE MANSION: Kids 8-12

years will earn improvisational skills from a professional actor focusing on movement, stage direction, interaction and fun. M, 4:30-5:30pm through 10/19. Opens 9/14.

$45. Lake Mansion, 250 Court St., (775) 8266100 ext. 3, www.artsforallnevada.org. ART ADVENTURES AT THE LAKE MANSION:

Budding artists ages 7-11 will explore a variety of mediums including drawing, pastels, watercolor and clay. Supplies SCIENCE SATURDAYS: CARS ON MARS:

Science Saturday offers simulated journeys throughout the solar system, fulldome planetarium programs, hands-on workshops. live presentations, virtual reality headsets and iPad interactive stations. The monthly programs are designed for participants age 8 and older. Children ages 8-12 must be accompanied by an adult. One parent per family or group of up to six friends. Sa, 9/12, 9:30am-1pm. $12. National Automobile Museum (The Harrah Collection), 10 S. Lake St., (775) 333-9300; www.eventbrite. com/o/challenger-learning-center-ofnorthern-nevada-3310949538.

SMALL WONDER WEDNESDAY: Families with

children 5 years old and younger are invited to play, explore and listen to stories read by the museum’s educators. ing for SNAP benefits. First come, first served. Th, 10am-noon. Free. Downtown Reno Library, 301 S. Center St., (775) 327-8312.

Art

FRONT DOOR GALLERY, CHURCH FINE ARTS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO:

Pinhole Project: Photos from the Playa,

Pinhole Project photographers document the people, art and events at Burning

Man each year, while they teach others to explore their creativity through this 100-year-old technique of pinhole photography. The reception is at 4 p.m. on Sept. 8. M-F through 10/1. Free. 1664 N.

Virginia St., (775) 784-6658. STREMMEL GALLERY: Ewoud de Groot,

Stremmel Gallery presents an exhibition of recent paintings by Dutch artist

Trails & VisTas arT Hike: Finding BeauTy

The annual art hike takes participants along a guided path past live music, art, storytelling and dance performances. The two hikes, on Sept. 12 and Sept. 19, will each feature 10 installations spread along a three-mile route. Local and regional artists have been commissioned to create original works for the hikes, incorporating the scenery and natural environment of their particular location along the path. Hikes will leave every 15 minutes starting at 9 a.m. On Saturday, Sept. 12, the Art Hike will take place along an aspen-lined trail at Spooner Lake in the Lake Tahoe Nevada State Park. Later that evening, the Pacific Mambo Orchestra will headline the Trails & Vistas World Concert at Sand Harbor State Park, 2005 Highway 28, Incline Village. On Sept. 19, the Art Hike will begin at Donner Ski Ranch, 19320 Donner Pass Road, and will follow a path with views overlooking Donner Lake and the mountains beyond. Tickets for each hike are $45 for people age 11 and older and $12 for kids ages 4-10. Tickets for the Trails & Visitors World Concert are $24-$68. Visit www.trailsandvistas.org.

included in cost. W, 4:30-5:30pm through

10/21. Opens 9/16. $55. Lake Mansion, 250

Court St., (775) 826-6100 ext. 3, www. artsforallnevada.org. BIRD IN THE GARDEN: GUIDED TOUR: Observe

different bird species and other wildlife through a guided tour by members of the Lahontan Audubon Society. Su, 9/13, 8-10am. $5 general admission; free for members of the Lahontan Audobon Society and May Arboretum Society. Wilbur D. May Arboretum and Botanical Garden, Rancho San Rafael Regional Park, 1595 N. Sierra St., (775) 785-4153, www. mayarboretumsociety.org.

Only children age 5 and younger are admitted to Small Wonder Wednesdays, which start at 9am, an hour before the museum opens. Older siblings may join at 10am. Third W of every month, 9am. $8

per person; free for members and babies under age 1. Terry Lee Wells Nevada

Discovery Museum (The Discovery), 490 S.

Center St., (775) 786-1000, www.nvdm.org. SUPPLEMENTAL NUTRITION ASSISTANCE

PROGRAM (SNAP) OUTREACH CLINIC: The

Ewoud de Groot. The artist reception will be on Thursday, Sept. 10, from 5:30-7:30 p.m. Th, 9/10, 5:30-7:30pm; M-Sa through

10/3. Opens 9/10. Free. 1400 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-0558, www.stremmelgallery. com.

UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: Reflections

on Pyramid Lake, An exhibit put on by the University of Nevada Reno’s Special Collections showcasing historic, artistic, scientific, native and natural visions. M-F through 9/15. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-1110, www.unr.edu.

Recycle

this paper

Getting more exorcise

I went through a horrible divorce several years ago. Our marriage got very ugly, and I was mainly at fault. I’ve since worked very hard to get my life together and become a better person, but this past Saturday night, out of the blue, I got a slew of angry, abusive texts from my ex-husband. Some of these texts: “I have a new wife & she’s younger than u & treats me way better.” “My career is going great. I bet ur more of a mess than ever.” “Ur a sociopath. I hope u die.” He also texted me an aerial shot of his new house and pool. A while back, I tried to apologize to him on the phone, but he was, to put it nicely, not interested. Is there a way to stop all this ugliness? (P.S. The new me stopped the old me from sending back snarky texts.)

Nothing says “I’m over you” like a Saturday night text blitz of hate and real estate.

When life sends you hate, it’s tempting to make haterade: “Luv the pool. Will b over 2nite to swim with Adolfo, my 24-yr-old underwear model boyfriend.” But the snarky low blow will just keep the ugly flying. Consider that anger comes out of hurt—from feeling that we’ve been treated unfairly—and try a counterintuitive approach: calling up a little compassion. Compassion gets confused with empathy, the ability to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes. But compassion is empathy plus an action plan—dialing in to the hurt that the person is feeling and then wanting to do something to make things better (rather than just taking the spectator approach: “Woo, is he ever having a crummy life!”).

Compassion is the gateway to accountability— taking responsibility for the harm you caused. You do that by admitting what you did and apologizing for it and then trying to make good in the best way you can. Sure, you tried to apologize to him before, but on the phone. The phone is easy. It’s the medium of prank calls and “30 minutes or less or your pizza is free!”

According to apology researcher Aaron Lazare, M.D., a meaningful apology is a “costly apology”—one that requires the person doing the apologizing to invest time and effort, take a hit to their ego by admitting wrongdoing, and maybe even spend money. (On that last one, that’s if you, say, broke someone’s vase, as opposed to breaking their ability to trust women, which is a little harder to put a dollar amount on.)

A “costly apology” starts with a full jerktopsy— your dissection of three things: 1. Why what you did was wrong; 2. What it must mean to the person you wronged; and 3. How things could have—and should have—been different. Laying out these details—first for yourself and then for the person you harmed—helps them see that you understand what you did and that you aren’t all “yeah, whatever, bro” about its effects on them. By making a meaningful effort to clean up the damage you did to their dignity—their feeling that they’re worthy of care and respect—you may allow them to stop clinging to what you did and maybe even forgive you (putting an end to the fun game of “I’ll claw your back; you claw mine”).

Send your apology to your ex in a letter—one that is detailed and thoughtful, reflects self-knowledge and healthy humility, and expresses remorse. He may or may not accept your apology, believe you’ve changed, or change his attitude toward you. But apologizing is the right thing to do and, ultimately, something you need to do for you. Getting in the habit of being accountable makes you a better romantic partner, a better friend, and a better person (and probably a person who sleeps better, as you tend to do when your conscience isn’t yoo-hooing you with 3 a.m. wake-up calls).

Sometimes you can’t entirely do right by the person you hurt (like when anything beyond a letter of apology would be unwanted and/or require body armor). Unfortunately, there’s no “undo” command in life, and a working time machine is probably at least 50 years behind my tragically nonexistent flying car. So when you find yourself still owing, it’s good to do something for somebody—maybe some sort of volunteer or philanthropic work—with the explicit purpose of making up for the harm you did. And then, when the confused homeless guy wonders why you’re giving him not just the bag of groceries but the car you loaded it into, you can mumble, “Um, let’s just say marriage wasn’t my strong suit.” Ω

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica,CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).