Advice Goddess

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The deadline for entries in the issue of Thurs., May 21, is Thursday, May 7.

Events

28TH ANNUAL DERBY DAY: The Reno Chamber

Orchestra holds its annual celebration.

Dress up in fashionable attire and enjoy a live stream of the Kentucky Derby over a luncheon and traditional mint juleps. The event features a hat contest with prizes, a live auction and wine raffle. Reservations required. Sa, 5/2, noon. $70. Peppermill Resort Spa Casino, 2707 S. Virginia St., (775) 348-9413, www.renochamberorchestra.org. DINE THE DISTRICT FOOD TOUR: The mer-

chants of the Riverwalk District have teamed up to provide guests a variety of entertainment, cooking demonstrations and culinary delights with this self-guided food tour. Participating restaurants include Wild River Grille,

The Jungle, Campo, Nobel Pie Parlor,

Dorinda’s Chocolates, Reef Sushi &

Sake, Pizza Reno, Fuego for Tapas &

Vino, Bumblebee Blooms Flower

Boutique, Imperial Bar & Lounge and 12 other merchants. Proceeds from the event will support the continued development of the Riverwalk District’s beautification project. Following Dine the District, participants are invited to take part in the Strange Brew Festival from 3pm to 9pm at The Brewer’s

Cabinet, 475 S. Arlington Ave. A celebration of uniquely crafted local brews, the festival features live music and a barbecue. Sa, 5/2, 1-4pm. $20 in advance, $25 day of event. The Riverwalk District, downtown Reno along The Riverwalk, (775) 825-9255, www.renoriver.org. DINING OUT FOR LIFE: Order a meal at participating DOFL restaurants on April 30 for breakfast, lunch, dinner or drinks and part of the proceeds will go to supporting Northern Nevada HOPES for

HIV programs and services. There are more than 50 locations participating in

Reno and Carson City. Go to DOFLNV.org to for a complete list of restaurants.

Th, 4/30. Dining Out For Life, 467 Ralston

St., (775) 997-7523, www.doflnv.org. GENOA COWBOY FESTIVAL: The annual festival

combines cowboy music, cowboy poetry, living history performances, tours and more. Performers include Lacy J. Dalton, the Western Flyers, Richard Elloyan & Steve Wade, Larry Maurice, Sourdough Slim, McAvoy Layne, among others. Through 5/3, Opens, Th, 4/30. $5-$45.

Locations vary in Genoa, (775) 782-8696, www.genoacowboyfestival.org. KTMB’S GREAT COMMUNITY CLEANUP:

Volunteers are needed for trash pickup, invasive weed removal and other activities at 20 locations in Reno, Sparks and

Washoe County. Sa, 5/2, 8am-noon. Free. (775) 851-5185, http://ktmb.org/volunteer. NEWLANDS NEIGHBORHOOD WALKING TOUR:

Enjoy an architectural walk through one of Reno’s oldest and most prestigious neighborhoods. Meet at the Lander Street side of My Favorite Muffin on California Avenue. Reservations are required. Sa, 5/2, 1011:30am. $10; free for HRPS members. 340 California Ave., (775) 747-4478, www.historicreno.org. OPEN HOUSE & TELESCOPE CLINIC: Visitors can

explore the observatory at their leisure, ask questions of observatory volunteers, learn how telescopes work and even learn how to image celestial objects. Guests are encouraged to bring their own telescopes and use the observation deck to view the evening sky. First Sa of every month, 7pm. Free. Jack C.

Davis Observatory, 2699 Van Patten

Drive, Carson City, (775) 445-3240, www.wnc.edu/observatory. SUMMER BIRDS OF THE GALENA FOREST: Join

Alan Gubanich of the Lahontan Audubon Society as he uses the taxidermy mounts in the visitor center and a PowerPoint presentation to give a closeup look at the intriguing birds that breed during the summer in the Galena area. Sa, 5/2, 10am-11:30pm. $5 suggested con-

tribution. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mt. Rose Highway, (775) 849-4948, www.galenacreekvisitorcenter.org. TWO AMONG THE RIGHTEOUS FEW: Hear the

true story of a Catholic couple in the occupied Netherlands who, despite huge personal danger, helped save the lives of about two dozen Jews during World War II. Su, 5/3, 2:30-5pm. Free. Atlantis Casino Resort Spa, 3800 S. Virginia St., (775) 742-3505, http://amongtherighteous.com.

All Ages

ANIMAL ARK PREDATORS AND PINATAS: Watch

Animal Ark’s predators open their treatfilled piñatas. Animal keepers and educational docents will share stories and answer questions. Sa, 5/2, 10:15am2:30pm. $15 adults, $13.50 seniors age 62 and older, $12 children ages 3-12; free for children age 2 and younger. Animal Ark

Wildlife Sanctuary and Nature Center, 1265 Deerlodge Road, (775) 970-3111, www.animalark.org. BARNES & NOBLE STORYTIMES: Staff members

and guest readers tell stories to children. Sa, 10am. Free. Barnes & Noble, 5555 S. Virginia St., (775) 826-8882. R.A.E.Y.C. ANNUAL WALK FOR CHILDREN:

Children of all ages and abilities, families, friends and pets (on leash) are invited. Enjoy free family activities and entertainment afterwards. Sa, 5/2, 9am-1pm. $10 for the walk. Sparks Marina, 325 Harbor Cove Drive, Sparks, (775) 682-5939.

Art

ARTSPACE, WEST STREET MARKET: Amelia

Currier: Cave Translations. The printmaker shows new work at University

Galleries’ downtown gallery. Through 5/2, 4-8pm. Free. 144 West St. CCAI COURTHOUSE GALLERY: The Driest State:

Nevada Watersheds. The Capital City

Arts Initiative presents 29 of Nolan

Preece’s photographs, many taken from an aerial perspective, that feature the beauty of the desert’s land forms, the lack of water and the range of water needs and uses. M-F, 8am-5pm through 5/29. Free. 885 E. Musser St.,

Carson City, (775) 721-7424. HOLLAND PROJECT GALLERY: Visible Wasting.

The Holland Project Gallery presents a new exhibition in the main gallery space featuring work by J. Gallego, Jon Kortland and FEEDING. The closing reception is on May 9, 6-8pm. Tu-F, 3-6pm through 5/8; Sa, 5/9, 6-8pm; In Twin Peaks. Natalie

Woodlock’s show features nine largescale silkscreen prints bursting with nostalgic color palettes and playful kitsch imagery that pays loving homage to David Lynch’s hit TV series. Each individual print is a special tribute to the characters and scenes that have made the Twin PeaksTV series a cult classic and pop culture phenomenon. The closing reception is on May 9, 6-8pm. Tu-F, 3-6pm through 5/8; Sa, 5/9, 6-8pm. Free. 140 Vesta JOT TRAVIS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: Priscilla Varner: Emancipating

Jane. Using a multidisciplinary approach, Varner’s showexpands the dialogue on American legalized prostitution by addressing issues of agency and questioning the representation of legal sex-workers in fine art since the modernist era. The exhibition explores the power dynamic between the photographer and the subject by removing the photographer, arming the legal sexworker with the tools necessary to more fully represent her identity. Recommended for 18 or older. Through 5/8, 10am-4pm; reception, Th, 4/30, 5pm.

Free. 900 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6837. MCKINLEY ARTS & CULTURE CENTER: Dancing

Alligators, Mermaid Kitties and Other

Extraordinary Creatures. McKinley

Gallery East hosts drawings and paintings by nine-year-old artist Zoe Murkovich M-F, 8am-5pm through 5/8; Before the Fall: Reena Spansail. McKinley Gallery West hosts new work by University of Nevada, Reno student Reena Spansail. M-F, 8am-5pm through 5/8.

Free. 925 Riverside Drive, (775) 334-2417. METRO GALLERY AT RENO CITY HALL: Moments in Nature: Emma Auriemma-McKay.

Metro Gallery in City Hall hosts new landscape painting by Emma Auriemma-

McKay. Moments in Natureshowcases the majesty and grandeur of the Sierra

Nevada under the kaleidoscopic skies of western Nevada. Reception on May 7, 57pm. M-F, 9am-5pm through 5/8. Free. 1 E.

First St., (775) 334-2417. NEVADA MUSEUM OF ART: No Boundaries:

Aboriginal Australian Contemporary

Abstract Painting, W-Su through 5/3; Robert Adams: A Road Through Shore

Pine, W-Su through 7/26; Consuelo

Jimenez Underwood: Mothers—The Art of Seeing, W-Su through 5/3;Dave Eggers:

Insufferable Throne of God, W-Su through 7/26; Tamara Kostianovsky:

After Goya, W-Su through 7/26;Betsabeé

Romero: En Tránsito, W-Su through 7/26;

Larry Mitchell: The 1ºC Project, W-Su through 7/26; Andrea Zittel: Wallsprawl,

W-Su through 8/16; Victoria Sambunaris:

Taxonomy of a Landscape, W-Su through 5/3. $1-$10. 160 W. Liberty St., (775) 329-3333, www.nevadaart.org. NORTH TAHOE ARTS CENTER: Infused With

Color—Three Placer Area Artists in the

NTA Main Gallery and May Miniatures

Fundraiser at the NTA Corison Loft

Gallery. The opening reception will be on May 1, 5-7pm. Through 6/1, 11am-4pm.

Free. 380 North Lake Blvd., Art Gallery

Eat, pray you’ll shut up, love

I’ve always been a feelings stuffer, but I’ve been reading about vulnerability creating intimacy, blah, blah, blah, so I’m trying to be an open book. Though my boyfriend appreciates this, he keeps telling me there’s a line between expressiveness and my making everything an emotional issue to be hashed out. He last said this when I confessed that I had Googled his ex-girlfriend and felt threatened by how pretty she is. Should I have kept that to myself? It’s great that you’ve thrown yourself into the trenches of Self-Improvementville, but the way you connect with someone is by letting them see who you are, not poking them in the eye with it every 20 minutes. Vulnerability shouldn’t be a fancy word for “everything you say or do hurts my feelings.” This Carnival of Insecurities presented as problems for your boyfriend to solve turns his life with you into a never-ending emotional chorewheel.

This isn’t to say you’re wrong to look to your boyfriend for soothing. But before you press a problem on him, ask yourself how it would affect him, whether he can fix it, and whether it’s really his business to know. Not all feelings are made for sharing. Some need to go off in a corner and die a quiet death on their own. Still, you aren’t without help in ushering them there. People think that keeping romance alive takes a $10,000-a-night Spanish castle package, complete with moonlight carriage rides with an aria-singing Placido Domingo jogging behind. But it’s actually the mundane daily stuff that matters—how you and your partner respond to each other’s seemingly unimportant remarks and gestures. It turns out that telling your partner “I can’t find the salt shaker anywhere” isn’t just an expression about a lost object; it’s what marriage researcher John Gottman calls a “bid for connection.”

In a study Gottman did with newlyweds, he found that the ones still married six years later were overwhelmingly those who consistently engaged with their partner and met those “bids” with “turntowards.” Turning toward a partner means being responsive—soothing, encouraging, supportive, or maybe just showing interest. This involves, for example, replying to your partner’s remark about the lost salt shaker—even with “I hate when that happens!” rather than “Lemme finish this Minecraft session,” or saying nothing at all (effectively treating them like some old couch you stopped noticing).

This “turning toward” thing is something you and your boyfriend can each do. Think of it as treating each other like you haven’t forgotten you love each other. It’s smart relationship policy and smart life policy—wiser than getting in the habit of responding to a partner’s “I’m starting a machete collection” with “That’s nice, dear.” Ω

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica,CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

& Gift Shop, Tahoe City, (530) 581-2787, www.northtahoearts.com.

SHEPPARD CONTEMPORARY GALLERY, CHURCH FINE ARTS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: Tehching Hsieh: One Year Performance.

Through 6/21, 12-4pm. Free. 1664 N. Virginia

St., (775) 784-6658. UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: Reflections on

Pyramid Lake. An exhibit put on by the University of Nevada Reno’s Special Collections showcasing historic, artistic, scientific, native and natural visions. M-F through 9/15. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-1110, www.unr.edu.

BICYCLING WITH MOLIERE: Successful actor

Gauthier is planning a production of Moliere’s The Misanthrope. He seeks out retired fellow actor Serge, who would be perfect for the part if he can be torn away from his solitude and bicycling on the coast of France. In French with English subtitles. M, 5/4, 7pm. $7 general admission, $6 students, seniors, $5 members. Good Luck Macbeth Theatre Company, 713 S. Virginia St., (775) 322-3716, www.artemisiamovies.org.

Poetry/Literature

THE WRITERS’ BLOCK OPEN MIC AT WILDFLOWER: This

show is open to all ages for the first half with the second half open to whatever words need escaping. Sign-ups begin at 6:30pm. Th, 7pm. Free. Wildflower Village, 4275-4395 W. Fourth St., (415) 640-0389.

Music

BRYAN BOWERS: The traditional music singersongwriter performs. Sa, 5/2, 7pm. $15 general, $12 seniors, $10 members, $20 at the door. Brewery Arts Center, 449 W. King

St., Carson City, (775) 883-1976, www.breweryarts.org. COMPOSERS CONCERT: A concert featuring new acoustic and electronic music by student composers. Su, 5/3, 7:30pm. Free. Nightingale

Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts Complex,

University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia

St., (775) 784-4278. PIPES ON THE RIVER: The Friday lunchtime concert series features guest artists performing on the church’s Casavant pipe organ. F, noon.

Free. Trinity Episcopal Church, 200 Island Ave., (775) 329-4279, www.trinityreno.org. TRANSFORMATION: The women of Bella Voce present their spring concert with songs of transformation, including the world premiere of the five-movement choral work

Magdaleneby David Montoya. F, 5/1, 7:30pm.

Free, donations accepted. Sparks United

Methodist Church, 1231 Pyramid Way, Sparks, (775) 358-0925, www.bellavocereno.org. UNIVERSITY PERCUSSION ENSEMBLE CONCERT: The

University of Nevada, Reno Percussion Ensemble will present a spring concert along with the University’s World Percussion Ensemble and guest student soloists. Th, 4/30, 7:30pm. $5, free for students with ID. Nightingale Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts Complex, University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-4278.

Sports & Fitness

ADAPTIVE & CHAIR YOGA: This yoga program is for people living with heart disease, cancer, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, arthritis, multiple sclerosis and other debilitating diseases. The class teaches breathing techniques, relaxation, guided meditation and visualization. Please call before attending.

Tu, 2-3:15pm. $8 per class. Yoga Loka, 6135

Lakeside Drive, Ste. 121, (775) 337-2990, www.yogalokareno.com. CLASSIC INTERMEDIATE MAT PILATES: Students

learn to build on the basic mat routine. More challenging exercises will be added to the repertoire as students progress. Maximum of 10 people per class. Call to reserve your spot. Tu, 5:30-6:20pm through 6/23. $16 per

class. Mind Body & Pilates, 615 Sierra Rose

Drive, Ste. 2B, (775) 745-4151, www.pilatesreno.com. FELDENKRAIS CLASSES: Guided Feldenkrais

classes in pain-free movement will help you improve stability, balance and performance and increase your vitality and flexibility as you learn to do slow, non-habitual movements with focused attention. Classes are ongoing. Tu, 10-11:30am through 12/15. $12

drop-in, discounted 10-class card, needbased sliding scale. Midtown Fitness, 600 S. Center St., Ste. 300, (775) 240-7882, www.renofeldenkrais.blogspot.com.

Onstage

SPRING DANCE CONCERT: The Spring Dance

Concert showcases new choreography by faculty and guest artists with performances by University of Nevada, Reno students. The featured School of the Arts’ Visiting Artist in

Residence is Gallim Dance, a New York-based contemporary dance company led by artistic director Andrea Miller. 4/30-5/2, 8pm; Su, 5/3, 2pm. $5-$15. Redfield Proscenium

Theatre, Church Fine Arts Building,

University of Nevada, Reno, 1664 N. Virginia

St., (775) 784-4278, www.unr.edu/arts. STAR WARS PARODY RADIO HOUR LIVE: Follow the

Rebels as they are pursued by Imperial forces and journey to Dagobah to train with a Jedi Master, while keeping perfect iambic pentameter in Merry Theatre’s live-action parody of the Star Warsfilms. Th, 4/30, 7 & 9pm; F, 5/1, 7 & 9pm; Sa, 5/2, 7 & 9pm. $10. Good

Luck Macbeth Theatre Company, 713 S.

Virginia St., (775) 848-9892, www.brownpapertickets.com/event/1186367. UP & ATOM IMPROV: The group performs long-form narrative improv based on audience suggestions. Sa, 8pm through 3/26. $5 per person. The

Potentialist Workshop, 2275 Dickerson Road, (775) 250-0189. Classes

RENO PORTRAIT SOCIETY: There will be a live

model for artists to paint or draw in the medium of their choice. No formal instruction, but participants can learn from experienced artists. The event is open to all ages and abilities. W, 9am-12:30pm. $10.

Nevada Fine Arts, 1301 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-1128, www.nvfinearts.com. TECHNIQUES 3 COOKING CLASS: Learn how to prep

and assemble a vegetable galette, prepare a quick, satisfying soup and finish by making a pastry dessert. W, 5/6, 6:30pm. $85. Nothing To It Culinary Center, 225 Crummer Lane, (775) 826-2628, www.nothingtoit.com.

Community

BREAST CANCER: ON WITH LIFE: This support group

provides a highly educational approach to looking at breast cancer. The latest research is discussed, along with alternative therapies, side effects of chemotherapy, reconstruction and community services. The group meets on

Tuesdays at Saint Mary’s Center for Health’s

Radiation Oncology Department. Tu, 4:30-6pm.

Free. Saint Mary’s Center for Health & Fitness, 645 N. Arlington Ave., Ste. 100, (775) 722-1222, www.supportsaintmarys.org. DHARMA BOOK GROUP: This group meets to read and discuss books of interest to Buddhists.

Check the website for the current offering.

For beginning and long-time Buddhists alike. Enter the building by the Taylor

Street entrance. First and Third W of every

month, 6-7pm. Free. Reno Buddhist Church, 820 Plumas St., (775) 348-6603, www.renobuddhistchurch.org. DOWN SYNDROME FAMILY SUPPORT GROUPS: Meet

other parents who are going through issues faced by relatives or caretakers of a child with a disability. The Down Syndrome Network of Northern Nevada seeks to connect families and create a strong foundation of support. First Tu of every month, 5:45-

7:30pm. Free. Nevada Early Intervention

Services, 2667 Enterprise Road, (775) 8285159, http://dsnnn.org. FRIDAY NIGHT BALLROOM DANCING: Every Friday

night The Senior Dance Club of Nevada presents ballroom dancing featuring live music by the Ninth Street Band. Singles and beginners are welcome. F, 8-10:30pm. $7 members; $9 non-members. Washoe County Senior

Center, 1155 E. Ninth St., (775) 828-1993, www.lreidenbaugh@washoecounty.us. LAWYER IN THE LIBRARY: The Volunteer Lawyers

of Washoe County present a Lawyer in the

Library program where lawyers provide general guidance on a variety of legal topics.

W, 5-7pm. Free. Washoe County Law Library, 75 Court St., inside the Washoe County

Courthouse, (775) 328-3250, www.washoecounty.us/lawlib. MEN’S CANCER SUPPORT GROUP: This support

group is available to men who have been impacted by cancer, including survivors and caregivers. Every other Th, 4:15-5:15pm. Saint

Mary’s Center for Health & Fitness, 645 N. Arlington Ave., Ste. 100, (775) 722-1222, www.supportsaintmarys.org.

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