10 minute read
Film
from Nov. 21, 2012
when was your last massage & facial?
Advertisement
make it today with our introductory signature massages & facials
introductory signature massge or facial:
{ for first time customers only }
$39
Still sucks
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
I haven’t liked any of the Twilight movies. In fact, I have a bitter hatred for most of them that’s unhealthy and likely illegal in some states. That said, I almost liked 2011’s Breaking Dawn Part 1, a sometimes twisted film that, while mostly stinky, showed promise. It ended with Bella (Kristen Stewart) opening her eyes as a vampire so I thought, “Hey, Bella Vampire … the last film could be a good one.” But, like the fisherman pulling up a heavy net to find nothing but boots and dead mafia dudes, or like the kid getting nothing but Miami Marlins after opening a pack of baseball cards, I was severely disappointed with Breaking Dawn Part 2. Yes, Bella is a vampire now. But she does little more than change her “Bella is Love Sad” pout to a more intense “Bella Needs Blood” pout. She runs around in fast motion and saves deer from mountain lions, like most vampires do. She also has a kid now, and this kid is weird looking. Director Bill Condon, who also helmed the previous almost-good installment, opts for some sort of CGI effects with Bella’s half-human/halfNosferatu baby, Renesmee. The resultant baby looks like one of the E-Trade kids, except this kid isn’t funny. The baby just looks at people with a creepy, janky smile. She grows rapidly, going through a phase with a bad wig—just like her mom in some of the previous Twilight movies!—and finally winds up as young actress Mackenzie Foy. Much of the plot revolves around protecting the baby, with Jacob the Wolf (Taylor Lautner) imprinting on her, which
means he owns her or some shit like that. I guess they grow up to be husband and wife in a freaky, Woody Allen-Soon Yi sort of way. Only author Stephenie Meyer knows. One of the big twists this time around is that some of the new vampires have special powers. Bella has some protective shield she can project, much like the Death Star in Star Wars. Another has the ability to shock people with electricity, and yet another hasby Bob Grimm something described as “paralyzing vapors.” When I heard of this particular power, I bgrimm@ thought it made sense. Vampires suck in allnewsreview.com sorts of foul stuff, so it would only stand to reason that their farts would be so noxious 1 as to render those within a few yards motionless. Alas, I was let down to see that paralyzing vapors were just black smoke that wafts from the vampire’s hands. Wait— maybe that’s how a vampire farts? Much of the movie consists of Bella and her strange, overly happy vampire family standing around in a house shooting looks at each other or out the window. Occasionally, Bella ventures outside for more running and hunting and intense pouting. At one point, Bella is running super fast, and we see the world around her through her super vampire eyes. Among the things she sees while running is a flower blooming super fast. So, this doesn’t make sense to me. Her being able to run real fast means she can see a flower bloom real fast? So the flower is now going at her pace? Can she magically make the flower bloom fast? It takes your average flower a long time to open up, and somebody simply running by fast normally wouldn’t accelerate the flower blooming process? See? That’s the kind of stupid crap I have found myself wondering about while watching Twilight movies. And let me just say this for the “twist” ending: I was much happier with the way things turned out before the big twist happened. The pre-twist ending had something involving Dakota Fanning that I rather enjoyed. Goodbye Twilight … at least until they make the gross movie where Bella’s baby grows up to marry Taylor in completely inappropriate fashion. (I nominate Woody Allen as director.) Oh, and for those of you wondering how much of the Taylor abs you get in this installment—one lousy scene. Not nearly enough if you ask me. They really are amazing. Ω
Bella passes some paralyzing vapors.
1 2 3 4 5
4Argo Ben Affleck makes another meaty movie with this spellbinding recreation of the late ’70s/early ’80s Iran hostage crisis, and the strange CIA mission that helped to extricate six American citizens from Iran at a most inopportune time. Affleck directs and stars as Tony Mendez, who hatches an elaborate plan to pose as a Canadian film director scouting Iran for shooting locations, with the six Americans posing as his Canadian film crew. The whole scenario seems ridiculous, yet it actually happened. Having lived through this period of American history, I can tell you that Affleck does a terrific job of capturing the look and mood of the time. The late ’70s were sort of humiliating both in terms of our status overseas and the way folks were wearing their hair. Bryan Cranston, John Goodman and Alan Arkin are all superb in supporting roles. This one will be in the running for some Oscars.
3Flight Denzel Washington stars and Robert Zemeckis directs this uneven film about an airline pilot with mad flying skills and a mad problem with alcohol and drugs. Washington is Whip Whitaker, a man who ties one on the night before a flight that first requires him to pilot through a horrible storm and then results in a spectacular crash. Whip performs miraculous feats as the plane goes down despite an alcohol level off the charts. Washington is typically great in the role, keeping the movie worth watching even when it gets a bit trite. The first half hour of this movie is a powerhouse. The remaining nearly two hours are OK, but nothing like the punch of that flight sequence. Sure to score Washington on Oscar nomination. A decent return to live action for Zemeckis, who had gotten all caught up in those creepy motion capture animation films like The Polar Express.
2Hotel Transylvania This animated take on Dracula (Adam Sandler) and other big monsters like Frankenstein’s monster (Kevin James) and the Werewolf (Steve Buscemi) has a fun setup and some great gags. But its overall feeling is that of total mania in that it barely slows down long enough for you to take it in. It’s often unnecessarily spastic in telling the tale of a nervous Dracula dealing with his daughter on her 118th birthday—young in vampire years). A human (Andy Samberg) shows up at the title place, a building Dracula created to keep dangerous humans away, and his daughter (Selena Gomez) falls for him. The overall story is hard to digest, but there are some great moments, such as every time the vampires turn into bats (cute) and a werewolf baby knowing what plane flight somebody is taking by smelling his shirt (unbelievably cute). Even with the cute moments, there were too many times when I just wanted to look away because the animation was far too frantic.
2Lincoln I love Steven Spielberg, I love Daniel Day-Lewis, but I do not love this movie. In fact, I don’t even like it. While Day-Lewis is astoundingly good in the title role, the movie around him is a drab, lifeless retelling of the final days of Abraham Lincoln’s life. Spielberg makes this a darkened room political potboiler, chronicling how Lincoln and his staff managed to get slavery abolished in the waning days of the Civil War. Sally Field is cast as Lincoln’s troubled wife. While Mary Todd’s plight deserves a movie of its own, it’s not given much consideration here, nor is the life of Lincoln’s eldest son (an utterly wasted Joseph Gordon-Levitt). The movie’s final act treats the death of Lincoln like a strange afterthought. They would’ve been better off ending the film before his assassination. I expect Day-Lewis to be in the Oscar hunt. He could actually win for this movie, a film that doesn’t live up to his magnificence. 4The Perks of Being a Wallflower Writer Stephen Chbosky makes an impressive directing debut with this adaptation of his semi-autobiographical novel about high school kids in the early ’90s. Logan Lerman plays Charlie, a shy freshman looking to make friends who eventually winds up hanging out with a fringe group of students including Patrick (Ezra Miller) and Sam (Emma Watson). The new friends help Charlie come out of his shell, and he ultimately realizes things about himself that need to be examined. Lerman is especially good here as the film’s anchor, while Miller continues to exhibit the great talents he showed in We Need to Talk About Kevin. Watson gets to step away from her Hermione role, and she does so successfully, making Sam a complex, real kid. One of the better films about high school to come along in quite some time.
4The Sessions John Hawkes delivers a remarkable performance as Mark O’Brien, a man rendered virtually motionless by polio and looking to lose his virginity in his late 30s. He contacts a sex therapist (played by an often very naked Helen Hunt) that guides him through the ways of fornication and also becomes his friend. Hawkes does most of his acting from the head up, and he’s never anything less than totally convincing as O’Brien (an actual journalist who lived in Berkeley, Calif.). He should easily find himself in contention with the likes of Daniel Day-Lewis for this year’s best acting Oscar. As for Hunt, it’s the best work she’s done in many a year. William H. Macy brings great humor to the film as Mark’s priest and confidant. This is one of the movie year’s more pleasant surprises.
4Skyfall This officially stands as my all-time favorite Bond film. That’s coming from somebody who really hasn’t cared much for the Bond films. Daniel Craig had been my favorite Bond since Sean Connery and, with this fine entry, has actually become my favorite Bond. Sam Mendes directs this installment with a depth and level of excitement I haven’t detected before in the series—although Casino Royalecame close—and Javier Bardem, as a former British agent gone bonkers, is a Bond villain for the ages. Great action scenes, fun homages to the series and a nice supporting turn from Judi Dench as M make this a Bond to be reckoned with, and truly enjoyed. Also stars Ralph Fiennes and a decent song from Adele. I don’t know how many Bond films Craig has left in him, but I hope it’s a lot.
4Smashed Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Aaron Paul are phenomenal as a couple that really loves each other, and also really loves booze. When Winstead’s teacher starts throwing up in front of her very young students at school and smoking crack on a whim, she starts to get the idea that maybe she should slow down. Husband Paul is supportive, but not about to quit boozing with his friends. The consequences of drinking to excess are portrayed in a way that’s realistic, and even a little funny. The film seems to be stating that some of the results of getting plowed on the weekends are as funny as they are stupid. If drinking were a totally terrible time, why would so many people get addicted to it? Winstead is powerful and raw as a woman who knows it’s time to stop partying, even if the spouse won’t join her on the journey. Paul shows that his great acting isn’t reserved for Breaking Bad. There are still many movies to come, but the way things stand right now, both deserve berths in this year’s Oscar race.
Treat yourself to gift certificates up to 75% OFF!
Visit www.newsreview.com www.newsreview.com
Century Park Lane 16, 210 Plumb Lane: 824-3300 Century Riverside 12, 11 N. Sierra St.: 786-1743 Century Summit Sierra 13965 S. Virginia St.: 851-4347 www.centurytheaters.com Grand Sierra Cinema 2500 E. Second St.: 323-1100 Nevada Museum of Art, 160 W. Liberty St.: 329-3333 Sparks Carson City
Galaxy Fandango, 4000 S. Curry St.: 885-7469 Tahoe
Horizon Stadium Cinemas, Stateline: (775) 589-6000
