Film

The rapidly deteriorating Resident Evilfranchise delivers its worst one yet with Resident Evil: Retribution. In this, the fifth chapter, things get so sloppy, disorganized and frantic, it’s as if one of the T-Virus zombies from the franchise bit the movie on the leg and got it all crazy and infected. This is the third installment directed by the much-maligned Paul W.S. Anderson, who has been involved with the franchise from the beginning in various capacities. He directed the first movie, took a couple of movies off, and returned for 2010’s lousy Afterlife, and now this even worse monstrosity. He has the dubious distinction of having directed the best and worst films in the franchise. Things are getting very repetitive in the land of Alice (Milla Jovovich), the super experimental woman trying to take down the Umbrella Corporation, the evil bastards responsible for the T-Virus. The T-Virus is a germ warfare weapon gone terribly wrong that turns people and animals into ravenous zombies who sometimes sprout strange shit out of their face and totally lack table manners. The film’s opening credits involve Alice in a firefight on a big boat, and the battle is shown in reverse. I actually thought this was neat, and it primed me for what I thought was going to be a relatively good time. Now I know it was just a means of tacking some extra minutes on the running time. I also know that it was easily the best part of the movie. Not a good thing when your movie peaks in the first three minutes.

Alice gets her ass blown off the ship and wakes up in some sort of testing facility where the Umbrella Corporation basically tests big zombie scenarios on giant soundstages simulating Russia, New York, Tokyo, etc. They do this for reasons I couldn’t really discern or give two shits about. Alice tries to escape the testing facility with a hearing-impaired girl in tow. The girl (Aryana Engineer) thinks Alice is her mom because she existed in one of the testing zones where an Alice clone was her suburban mother. The real Alice, wielding guns and wearing tight black outfits, feels a sort of obligation to the little girl and starts taking care of her like Ripley taking care of Newt in Aliens. Actually, I just did a very blasphemous thing by comparing anything in this raw sewage extravaganza to the mighty Aliens. I apologize to James Cameron, Sigourney Weaver and Carrie Henn as Newt for doing this. I assure you that this won’t happen again within the confines of this article. Some of the series’prior stars return, like Michelle Rodriguez reprising her role as Rain, the indistinguishable mercenary looking to kill Alice for, once again, reasons I couldn’t really discern. Rain also has a clone that is a little more mild mannered and hates guns. Anderson makes sure to get this particular boring, pacifist clone out of the way good and early. Anderson seems to be a director who shoots first and thinks later. Many of his scenes contain bad dubbing and looping, which amounts to quite the distraction. He has continuity problems throughout, and seems to think he can distract from these problems by blowing up things and distracting our attention. He’s just a sloppy bastard behind the camera. I saw this movie with somebody who’s not only a big fan of the franchise, but the video games from which it was spawned. He told me that this movie is actually faithful to many aspects of the video game itself. He also told me that the movie blew ass and walked off to his car, head hanging low. Another person we watched it with called the film “the worst movie I’ve ever seen.” I’ve seen Roberto Benigni’s Pinocchio, so I can’t make that claim. I can tell you that this is 1 easily one of the year’s worst, and I’ve officially lost faith in a franchise that had a goodPOOR start, but has seen its glory days pass it by. Ω

2FAIR 3 GOOD 4 VERY GOOD

Spooky Jingles … The Premier Holiday Art & Craft Fair Carefully selected artisans will create spooktacular & frosty merriment for this 100% handcrafted show. Their visions of Halloween & Christmas offer a spellbinding take on the two

See no evil Resident Evil: Retribution September 29 & 30, 2012 Saturday 9 AM – 4 PM; Sunday 10 AM – 3 PM Admission: Saturday $5; Sunday $3 Carefully selected artisans will create spooktacular & frosty merriment for this 100% handcrafted show. Their visions of Halloween & Christmas offer a spellbinding take on the two Spooky Jingles … The Premier Holiday Art & Craft Fair September 29 & 30, 2012 Saturday 9 AM – 4 PM; Sunday 10 AM – 3 PM Admission: Saturday $5; Sunday $3 Carefully selected artisans will create spooktacular & frosty seasons that have fascinated us since childhood. Our show will also feature artisans offering unique holiday gift items and jewelry. Food and drink will be available for purchase. Sipping & shopping is allowed so come early and stay late! Kick off the fall art & craft show season at the best show in town! www.SpookyJingles.com for additional information The Premier Holiday Art & Craft Fair September 29 & 30, 2012 Sat 9am–4pm • Sun 10am–3pm Admission: Sat $5 • Sun $3 seasons that have fascinated us since childhood. Our show will also feature artisans offering unique holiday gift items merriment for this 100% handcrafted show. Their visions of Halloween & Christmas offer a spellbinding take on the two Glowing shades of fall and the glistening twinkle of winter will create our backdrop inside the beautifully remodeled Reno Elks Lodge, which is located at 597 Kumle Lane, Reno, NV. (across from the Convention Center) Carefully selected artisans will create spooktacular & frosty merriment for this 100% handcrafted show. Food & drink will be available for purchase. Sipping & shopping is allowed so come early and stay late! and jewelry. seasons that have fascinated us since childhood. Reno Elk Lodge • 597 Kumle Lane, Reno (across from the Convention Center) Our show www.SpookyJingles.com for additional information will also feature artisans offering unique holiday gift items

Spooky Jingles … Food and drink will be available for purchase. Sipping & shopping is allowed so come early and stay late! Kick off the and jewelry. The Premier Holiday Art & Craft Fair by Bob Grimm bgrimm@ fall art & craft show season at the best show in town! www.SpookyJingles.com for additional information Food and drink will be available for purchase. Sipping & shopping is allowed so come early and stay late! Kick off the fall art & craft show season at the best show in town! September 29 & 30, 2012 Saturday 9 AM – 4 PM; Sunday 10 AM – 3 PM Admission: Saturday $5; Sunday $3 newsreview.com Glowing shades of fall and the glistening twinkle of winter will create our backdrop inside the beautifully remodeled Reno Elks Lodge, which is located at 597 Kumle Lane, Reno, NV. (across from the Convention Center) Glowing shades of fall and the glistening twinkle of winter will create our backdrop inside the beautifully remodeled Reno Elks Lodge, which is located at 597 Kumle Lane, Reno, NV. (across from the Convention Center) www.SpookyJingles.com for additional information 1 Carefully selected artisans will create spooktacular & frosty merriment for this 100% handcrafted show. Their visions of Halloween & Christmas offer a spellbinding take on the two seasons that have fascinated us since childhood. Our show will also feature artisans offering unique holiday gift items Spooky Jingles … The Premier Holiday Art & Craft Fair and jewelry. Food and drink will be available for purchase. Sipping & Spooky September 29 & 30, 2012 Saturday 9 AM – 4 PM; Sunday 10 AM – 3 PM Admission: Saturday $5; Sunday $3 Jingles … The Premier Holiday Art & Craft Fair September 29 & 30, 2012 shopping is allowed so come early and stay late! Kick off the fall art & craft show season at the best show in town! www.SpookyJingles.com for additional information

Saturday 9 AM – 4 PM; Sunday 10 AM – 3 PMGlowing shades of fall and the glistening twinkle of winter will create our backdrop inside the beautifully remodeled Carefully selected artisans will create spooktacular & frosty Admission: Saturday $5; Sunday $3 Reno Elks Lodge, which is located at 597 Kumle Lane, Reno, NV. (across from the Convention Center) - Funtime theater Presents merriment for this 100% handcrafted show. Their visions of Voices Halloween & Christmas offer a spellbinding take on the two seasons that have fascinated us since childhood. Our show will also feature artisans offering unique holiday gift items and jewelry. Carefully selected artisans will create spooktacular & frosty merriment for this 100% handcrafted show. Their visions of Halloween & Christmas offer a spellbinding take on the two seasons that have fascinated us since childhood. Our show from the Past Food and drink will be available for purchase. Sipping & shopping is allowed so come early and stay late! Kick off the fall art & craft show season at the best show in town! will also feature artisans offering unique holiday gift items and jewelry. Food and drink will be available for purchase. Sipping & shopping is allowed so come early and stay late! Kick off the The Virginia City Cemetery www.SpookyJingles.com for additional informationfall art & craft show season at the best show in town! comes alive with the 19th century Comstock Glowing shades of fall and the glistening twinkle of winter will create our backdrop inside the beautifully remodeled www.SpookyJingles.com for additional information residents. They share Yeah, those are real Reno Elks Lodge, which is located at 597 Kumle Lane, Reno, NV. (across from the Convention Center) practical zombie fighting outfits. Glowing shades of fall and the glistening twinkle of winter will create our backdrop inside the beautifully remodeled Reno Elks Lodge, which is located at 597 Kumle Lane, Reno, NV. (across from the Convention Center) their stories, lives, and deaths. The performance will last 90 minutes as you walk through the cemetery with the widow of Silver Terrace as your guide.

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2The Bourne Legacy When Universal decided to forge ahead with the Bourne franchise after Matt Damon, a.k.a. Jason Bourne, decided to call it quits, they were most assuredly looking for a glorious changing of the guard—something akin to when Daniel Craig took over for Pierce Brosnan as 007. What they get with The Bourne Legacy is something closer to the vibe when Roberto Benigni replaced Peter Sellers in the Pink Panther franchise. Jeremy Renner taking over for Damon in this franchise feels like the underwhelming switcheroo that occurred when Andrew Garfield took over for Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man. Renner, like Garfield, is a good actor. But he doesn’t command a movie like Damon can, no matter how good The Hurt Locker was. Renner isn’t nearly as good as Damon as the Bourne centerpiece. The plot feels like a poor, scrapped together excuse for keeping a franchise alive longer that it should be.

3The Campaign While this falls into the category of weaker Will Ferrell comedies, it’s still funnier than most of the stuff thrown out there with the intent of making us laugh. Ferrell stars as a congressman running for reelection who is surprised by the candidacy of an unknown candidate looking to unseat him (Zach Galifianakis). Ferrell is basically doing a riff on his Ron Burgundy character, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. He has a few shining moments, including a profane phone message left for the wrong person and a classic baby punching incident. Galifianakis is funny, but his character’s two dogs, heavy breathing pugs, are funnier. This one is front-loaded, with most of the funny stuff happening in the first half. While it misses out on the opportunity to really skewer the American election process, it does have some good giggles involving refrigerator sex and petting zoos, so it’s got that going for it.

4Finding Nemo 3D Nine years after its original release, this Pixar charmer comes back to screens with a nice 3-D presentation. Honestly, I felt like I was watching it for the first time. The Pixar films are primed for 3-D. The movie looks like it was always intended to be this way. Albert Brooks voices Marlin, a paranoid clown fish who loses his kid Nemo to human divers. While Nemo sits in a dentist’s aquarium, Marlin frantically races across the ocean with new friend Dory (Ellen DeGeneres) in tow. For me, DeGeneres is the true star of this movie. Her voice work will always stand as a favorite cartoon character of mine, especially when she speaks whale. Other voice actors include Willem Dafoe as a growling angelfish and Brad Garrett as a puffer fish. I know I sound a bit clichéd saying this, but this is a real treat for the entire family.

3The Expendables 2 Here’s a sequel that learns a lot from the mistakes of the first installment, while capitalizing on the ideas that should’ve made the first installment good fun. It gathers up a bunch of old goons, gives them big guns, and tells them to shoot things. And, this time out, they do it better and with much aplomb. It’s obvious before the opening title credit, in a sequence where many a man is shredded via gunfire from aging American action superstars, that Stallone and friends are going to get things right and deliver the crazy-gory goods. Much of the credit must go to newly anointed Simon West, who replaces Stallone in the director’s chair. West made the ridiculously enjoyable Con Air, which combined stellar action with funny, dumb dialogue to much success. Unlike Stallone’s effort with the first movie, Expendables 2gets real laughs, rather than groans, from its boneheaded dialogue. 2Lawless I was hoping for a late summer powerhouse that would top off a mediocre season with something to remember. I figured a film with John Hillcoat at the helm and featuring the likes of Tom Hardy, Jessica Chastain, Guy Pearce and Shia LaBeouf couldn’t fail. While it isn’t a complete failure, it is a bit of a letdown. Considering the star power and the director at hand, I was expecting much more than your typical backwoods moonshine thriller. John Hillcoat (The Road) telling the “true story” of the Bondurant brothers, Depression-era bootleggers who stood up to the law, had a great amount of appeal. It makes the mistake of positioning LaBeouf’s youngest brother Jack as the primary character, when his older brothers Forrest (Hardy) and Howard (Jason Clarke) are far more compelling. LaBeouf isn’t necessarily bad in the role; it’s just that Hardy and Clarke are way better and far more interesting to watch. Guy Pearce overdoes it as the bad guy in a film that ultimately feels empty and misdirected.

4ParaNorman Here’s a stop-animation movie that isn’t afraid to be creepy for the kids. Norman (voice of Kodi Smit-McPhee) can see dead people and has premonitions, for which he gets picked on at school and yelled at by his parents. As it turns out, he’s the only one who can save the town from a curse involving zombies and witches. Directors Chris Butler and Sam Fell have put together a great-looking movie. And Butler’s script actually pushes the limit of the PG rating to the point where adults might be surprised by what they have taken their kids to see. As for this being too scary for kids, let me tell you that the kids were screaming with delight at my screening. They love this stuff. Also features the voices of John Goodman, Leslie Mann, Casey Affleck and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. One of the year’s best animated films.

2The Possession As far as demon possession movies go, I’d have to count this as one of the better offerings in recent years. That still doesn’t make it all that good. Based on a “true story”— bullshit!—it stars Jeffrey Dean Morgan as a basketball coach who moves his two daughters into a new house. They go to a yard sale, where the youngest daughter (an impressive Natasha Calis) grabs a mysterious box that has dead moths and spooky stuff in it. She winds up getting possessed by a demon, requiring the help of a Hasidic Jew instead of Roman Catholic priests for a change. And, of course, that Hasidic Jew is none other than Matisyahu. Director Ole Bornedal provides some genuinely creepy moments—I especially liked the very spooky CAT scan—but he also provides a little too much bad melodrama that drags the film down. Still, Morgan and Calis are good here, and the possession portions of the movie do have a decent freak-out factor. (Love those hands coming out of mouths!) A hearty “Screw you!” to the dumbass who decided to make this a PG-13 affair. This one should’ve shot for an R.

2The Words I’m OK with a film telling a story within a story. This is one of those movies where a narrator in the present day reads from a book and we see his story play out, with occasional revisits to the narrator and whatever they have going on in their life. The Princess Bridetotally rocked this format. Again, I’m OK with this. But when you go to a story within a story within a story … well, you start to lose me. Dennis Quaid plays an author reading from his book, and Bradley Cooper plays the subject of that book in a separate storyline that includes a character played by Jeremy Irons. Then, the Jeremy Irons character tells a story and the film goes into yet another time period and storyline. It’s a few levels too many, with the Quaid character proving completely unnecessary. Irons does good work here, while Cooper tries a little too hard. Your eyes will glaze over around the midway point.

Century Park Lane 16, 210 Plumb Lane: 824-3300 Century Riverside 12, 11 N. Sierra St.: 786-1743 Century Summit Sierra 13965 S. Virginia St.: 851-4347 www.centurytheaters.com Grand Sierra Cinema 2500 E. Second St.: 323-1100 Nevada Museum of Art, 160 W. Liberty St.: 329-3333 Sparks Carson City

Galaxy Fandango, 4000 S. Curry St.: 885-7469 Tahoe

Horizon Stadium Cinemas, Stateline: (775) 589-6000

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