10 minute read
Film
from July 12, 2012
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A spider can’t
The Amazing Spider-Man
Now that The Amazing Spider-Manis in our face, I think it’s fair to say that Marc Webb was not a good choice to helm a big budget summer blockbuster. His sole previous feature credit is the sweet (500) Days of Summer, a film that, to the best of my memory, had nothing like a big CGI lizard man in it. This is a “reboot” of the Spidey franchise, with director Sam Raimi parting ways with producers after his outrageously bad SpiderMan 3 and an aborted attempt at a Spider-Man 4 that would’ve seen John Malkovich as a vulture dude. After sitting through this reboot, I found myself missing the over-the-top Raimi approach from his first two efforts, and yearning for a winged Malkovich. Webb gets it all wrong, from his casting of Spider-Man and Gwen Stacey, to the terrible operatic soundtrack, and, most disappointingly, a truly bad screen rendition of The Lizard (played drably by Rhys Ifans). Dr. Curt Connors was played by Dylan Baker in the Raimi films, and it would’ve been cool to see him finally get green in this film. Why they cast the wholly uninteresting Ifans is anybody’s guess. Garfield, so good in The Social Network, takes an “Oh-gosh-golly-gee-willickers-pleaselike-my-nerd-ass!” approach to the role of Peter Parker. It’s cute for about five minutes, and then it gets pretty painful to watch. Emma Stone, cast as Parker’s girlfriend Gwen Stacey, delivers a performance that could best be described as obvious. They both feel like they are “acting” with every line delivery. They never seem to inhabit the world they’ve been given by the screenplay.
Much of that screenplay is just a rehash of the same story put on the screen by Raimi in his 2002 Spider-Man. Now, I’m all for rebooting, and I don’t care that only 10 years have passed. I want to see a new Spider-Man movie every couple of years, and I know the RaimiTobey Maguire combo couldn’t do it forever. That said, The Amazing Spider-Man is a task to watch, and I could’ve waited a couple of more years for something better. by The action is minimal, unexciting andBob Grimm messy. There’s also a layer of melodrama here bgrimm@ that just got under my skin early. It doesn’t newsreview.com help that the score by the normally reliable James Horner is repetitive and distracting. And although the strains of the main theme 2 were repeated often, I would be hard pressed to hum them for you right now. It lacks distinction. The supporting cast includes Martin Sheen with perhaps the film’s best performance as Uncle Ben. Not nearly as good would be Sally Field as Aunt May, who just seems out of place. Denis Leary is given the task of playing Gwen’s grumpy dad, the screenplay doing nothing to take advantage of Leary’s comedic talents. If you want me to cite an example of how bad this movie really can be, I need go no further than C. Thomas Howell’s appearance as a construction worker who comes to Spidey’s rescue with large cranes in an inexplicable, moronic sequence. It makes no sense, and felt like something straight out of a Michael Bay movie. I’m hoping that the further adventures of Spidey, which will happen, include a different director. I think Garfield and Stone could be decent in the hands of a director who isn’t trying to make them so adorable it’s puke-worthy. I would like to nominate The Hurt Locker director Kathryn Bigelow. She could bring dramatic levity and pow to the franchise. Let Marc Webb go back to making dreamy romances with Zooey Deschanel. The Amazing Spider-Man is one of the year’s biggest disappointments, a true misfire after the entertainment extravaganza that was The Avengers. Let’s hope Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises gets things back on track. Ω
Before starting his career as a crimefighter, Spider-Man was an avid pole dancer.
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2Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Honestly, this was one of the movies I was most excited about this year. Abraham Lincoln killing vampires—how could they go wrong? Director Timur Bekmambetov has most certainly found a way, turning in a boring, redundant and humorless film that blows it in most categories. Benjamin Walker is given little to do as Lincoln. He walks around looking glum and occasionally swings an axe at very unconvincing vampires. The movie speculates that the Confederacy was full of vampires during the Civil War, and it has absolutely no fun with this idea. I was hoping for something that I could file alongside the likes of Evil Dead 2with this one—good, sick fun with a dash of camp humor. Instead, we get a movie that’s as tedious and bland as the Underworld films. It will surely stand as one of the year’s biggest cinematic letdowns.
4Brave After the severe misstep that was Cars 2, Pixar gets back to goodness with this, the tale of Merida (voice of Kelly Macdonald). Merida is a princess who doesn’t want to conform to tradition, shooting arrows better than any of the boys in or around her kingdom, and not really too keen about marrying any of them under arranged circumstances. When a spell is cast on family members, she must search for a way to restore normalcy, while convincing her mom (Emma Thompson) that she has the right to choose her own destiny. Merida is a fun character, and Macdonald is the perfect voice for her. As for the look of this movie, it is beautiful for its entire running time. While I’ve liked many Pixar films more than this one, that is not a dig on this movie. It might not be one of the best the studio has offered, but it is still a highly entertaining piece of work.
3Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted The third in this franchise winds up being the best, and a decent comeback after a bland second installment. The zoo animals, still kicking it in Africa, wind up on a European tour with a circus, which gives writers Eric Darnell and Noah Baumbach the opportunity to introduce some fun new characters. These include a hoop-jumping tiger (voiced by Bryan Cranston), an evil animal control officer (Frances McDormand) and, most winningly, a dopey seal named Stefano voiced wonderfully by Martin Short. This one is a bit touched in the head, as evidenced by the “Circus Afro” sequence featured in the advertising campaign. Darnell and Baumbach write good jokes that will keep both the adults and children laughing. Stars the voices of Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer and Jada Pinkett Smith.
3Magic Mike Loosely based on the pre-Hollywood stripper life of Channing Tatum, the man himself stars as the title character in this dark character study from director Steven Soderbergh. While there are plentiful shots of male butt and thongs to go around, the film does have a semi-deep and dark narrative, so it’s not all about stripping. Tatum continues to impress as an actor, and the film allows him to mix drama with comedy effectively. Matthew McConaughey, who I’d say is in better shape than anybody in this movie, is fun as the stripper gang ringleader. Alex Pettyfer is pretty good as the up-and-coming stripper who has a few lessons to learn, while Cody Horn is a little drab as his sister and Mike’s potential love interest. This one isn’t a jolly romp, so don’t be bringing your bachelorette parties to it. There was one at my screening, and they were not having a good time. 5Moonrise Kingdom Writer-director Wes Anderson’s return to live action after his animated gem Fantastic Mr. Fox is probably the most “Wes Anderson” Wes Anderson movie yet, and that’s a good thing if you love the guy (I do!). The story here is set in 1965, where Sam the Khaki Scout (newcomer Jared Gilman) has flown the coop during a camping expedition, much to the worry of Scout Master Ward, (Edward Norton, in his funniest performance yet). Sam runs away with Suzy (Kara Hayward, also a newcomer), and they have themselves a romantic couple of days while parents and authority figures frantically search for them. The adolescent puppy love story is treated with the sort of storybook grace one would expect from Anderson. Every shot is a thing of beauty. Bruce Willis, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand and Jason Schwartzman all contribute wonderfully in what stands, and will stand, as one of the year’s best films.
4Prometheus In this prequel to his own Alien, director Ridley Scott explores all new angles in his monster universe via eye-popping 3-D visuals and intense storytelling. When scientists discover cave drawings that appear to be superior alien intelligence inviting us for a visit, an exploratory space mission travels to a distant galaxy in search of our origins. What they find involves tentacles, slime, gnarly selfadministered operations and general despair. Noomi Rapace takes on the female heroine role, with Charlize Theron along for the ride as a mysterious mission commander. Best of all is Michael Fassbender as David, a strange android who models himself after Peter O’Toole. With this, Scott proves that he is still a master of the sci-fi genre, a genre he hasn’t visited since his 1982 Blade Runner —he’s rumored to be working on a sequel to that classic, as well. The ending of this one, hopefully, paves the way for another chapter—a chapter I sincerely hope Scott is involved in.
3Snow White and the Huntsman The 347th Snow Whitemovie this year is actually a fairly decent one, with Kristen Stewart doing a fine job as the title character and Chris Hemsworth contributing nicely as the ax-wielding Hunstman. Best of all the cast is Charlize Theron as Ravenna, a loony queen hell-bent on staying young and eating Snow’s heart. Director Rupert Sanders puts together a swell visual movie, especially in the way he creates dwarves out of actors like Nick Frost, Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins and Toby Jones. The movie is quite good when it features Snow White running around in various enchanted forests, though not so much in the final act, where it becomes a weird Joan of Arc movie. The last act feels tacked on, like it belongs on another film. Still, Stewart is quite winning here and Theron is a bona fide scene-stealer.
4Ted Family Guycreator Seth MacFarlane makes his feature film directorial debut with one of the year’s funniest movies. MacFarlane lends his voice to the title character, an obnoxious teddy bear given the gift of speech and life after a wish by his child owner, John. The two never part, even when John, played as an adult by Mark Wahlberg, is in his 30s. They become pot-smoking buddies, and John’s girlfriend (Mila Kunis) starts to get annoyed. For those of you simply looking for good, raunchy, super R-rated comedy, Ted has got the goods. But MacFarlane also takes the human elements of the story seriously, and they wind up being quite charming. It’s a major directorial feat when a first timer creates an animated teddy bear character that’s more well-rounded than most actual human characters in movies today.
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