Film

Pleasure Cruise

Rock of Ages

With his scaling of the tallest building in the world for last year’s Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and now his crazily good turn as singer Stacee Jaxx in the musical movie Rock of Ages, Tom Cruise has now transformed himself into Hollywood’s greatest stuntman. It took some big nuts to propel himself off of the Burj Khalifa tower in that harrowing, all-time classic sequence, and now he has learned to sing and play some guitar for his latest flick. It’s like he’s going down a list of bug nut crazy stuff to do in a movie, and he’s just picking them off one by one. And he’s not just crooning soft ballads. He’s belting out some of the biggest crap rock of the ’80s with a voice that’s some sort of blessed convergence of Axl Rose and Vince Neil. CRUISE CAN SING! His magnificent rock act is surrounded by a movie that’s fun, but not nearly as good as him. Adapted from the Broadway play and directed by Adam Shankman (Hairspray), the plot is your typical “girl comes from a small town to make it in Hollywood” story that has been told a thousand times before. It’s just never featured Tom Cruise in a fur coat accompanied by a rambunctious, well-dressed baboon. Sherrie Christian (a likeable Julianne Hough), wannabe singer, starts the film out on a bus, getting fellow travelers and even the driver to join her for a rousing rendition of “Sister Christian,” a goofy yet infectious scene that sets the tone for the movie. All of the action winds up at The Bourbon Room where owner Dennis Dupree (a shaggy Alec Baldwin) is trying to avert financial disaster. His last big hope is the final

performance of huge metal band Arsenal before their singer, Stacee Jaxx, goes solo. Sherrie gets a job at the Bourbon thanks to a chance meeting with Drew Boley (Diego Boneta), another up-and-coming singer trying to make it in the big city. The paint-by-numbers plot assembled by a team of screenwriters including Justin Theroux (Iron Man 2, Tropic Thunder) is just a place setter for musical numbers featuring by tunes by Def Leppard, Pat Benatar, Foreigner,

Bob Grimm Bon Jovi, etc. There’s an occasional good joke bgrimm@newsreview.c about drinking or puking, but this is mostly a om reason for big stars to lip synch admirably to their own vocal tracks. And let it be said that I detest hair rock— 3 deplore it. When characters in this movie talk about the power of rock ’n’roll, I couldn’t help but think, “Where’s Led Zeppelin or The Who?” This plastic music was all the wow during my teen and college years, a fact that still frightens and disturbs me. Oh sure, the occasional Guns N’Roses or Leppard song was OK, but holy hell, Poison and Mötley Crüe almost killed me. And Starship? This is the umpteenth movie to use what is easily the worst song ever recorded by anybody, “We Built This City.” Hell, the Muppets had it in their movie last year! The fact that I still enjoyed a movie where this music is prominently featured says a lot for the cast of singers including Cruise, Russell Brand, and Malin Akerman as a Rolling Stone reporter who shares a funny sex scene with Cruise that includes him using her ass as a microphone. Asong that has always pissed me off is “Wanted Dead or Alive,” with loser Jon Bon Jovi likening himself to a gunfighter with his “oh so burdensome” rock career. Yet, when Cruise sings it in this movie, it takes on awesome life. He, quite frankly, puts Mr. Bon Jovi to shame. I can honestly say this is the first time I’ve enjoyed listening to that particular track. If you go to this movie, go knowing that you will see and hear some amazing stuff from Mr. Cruise. Otherwise, Rock of Ages is just a mildly enjoyable musical goof, sort of like The Beatles Across the Universe movie, but with far crappier songs. Ω

That Something About Mary hair product never goes out of style.

1

POOR

2

FAIR

3

GOOD

4

VERY GOOD

5

EXCELLENT

5The Avengers Everything good about the last bunch of Marvel superhero movies comes together for one massive, excessively entertaining party. Director Joss Whedon hits all the right notes as Captain America (Chris Evans), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and the Hulk (newbie Mark Ruffalo) all get equal time in this well balanced, often funny, and completely satisfying cinematic experience. I wasn’t sure if they would pull this off, but they did, with Loki (Tom Hiddleston) once again bringing the fun as the villain. Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) contribute mightily to the process, as does Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson). Good luck to all the rest of the summer movies in trying to top this one’s fun factor. And let it be said that this contains the best Hulk action put to film ever! Joss Whedon is a god.

4Bernie Jack Black gets back together with his The School of Rockdirector Richard Linklater, and casting Black in this film was a masterstroke. As Bernie Tiede, the real-life convicted killer of Marjorie Nugent in Carthage, Texas, Black delivers a performance to be remembered. For an actor who has a tendency to overdo it, it’s good to see him rein it in and do something with depth and nuance. Linklater comes at the story from a risky angle. It’s no secret that much of the town loved Bernie Tiede, and some even believed he didn’t commit a murder that he confessed to. The movie almost comes off as an argument that this fellow wasn’t such a bad guy after all, even if he did shoot an old woman (played awesomely by Shirley MacLaine) in the back four times and stuff her in a garage freezer. This is a triumph for Black and Linklater, proof that these guys should just keep making movies together. Both men have done their best work when they team up, and I certainly hope this isn’t the last time they share a set. Also stars Matthew McConaughey as District Attorney Danny Buck, the man who would put Tiede behind bars.

2Dark Shadows After the boring tragedy that was Alice in Wonderland, the normally reliable Tim Burton and Johnny Depp team up once again to induce nap time with this plodding adaptation of the cult fave vampire soap opera from the ’60s. Depp plays Barnabas Collins, cursed by an evil witch (Eva Green) two centuries ago and buried in the Earth. Somebody digs up his coffin to make way for a McDonald’s and, boom, Barnabas is strutting around in the ’70s. Or at least he should be. As it turns out, he just spends most of his time moping around his mansion droning his lines. This had the looks of something potentially funny and weird, but Burton actually goes for the soap opera feel, a move that doesn’t work on the big screen. I would really like to see Depp do another real drama or smart comedy without burying himself under makeup and wigs. Having seen what he looks like in The Lone Ranger, I know I won’t be getting my wish soon.

2Hysteria This film tells the story of Mortimer Granville (Hugh Dancy) and his participation in the invention of the first vibrator as a means of curing female “hysteria” in the late 1800s. Fed up with working for doctors who still peddle leeches and don’t believe in germs, Granville goes to work for Dr. Robert Dalrymple (Jonathan Pryce), who basically runs a clinic that gets women off using his hands. When Granville no longer can cure his patients because of hand cramps, he’s dismissed, only to return when his friend Edmund St. JohnSmythe (Rupert Everett) converts his electric feather duster into, essentially, a sex toy. Maggie Gyllenhaal stars as Charlotte Dalrymple, the doctor’s daughter and rebel working to help the poor and occasionally punch cops in the face. The film has an uninteresting romance between her and Granville. Things get off to a funny and spirited start, but it peters out in the end, culminating with a courtroom drama that feels stale.

Century Park Lane 16, 210 Plumb Lane: 824-3300 Century Riverside 12, 11 N. Sierra St.: 786-1743 Century Summit Sierra 13965 S. Virginia St.: 851-4347 www.centurytheaters.com 3Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted The third in this franchise winds up being the best, and a decent comeback after a bland second installment. The zoo animals, still kicking it in Africa, wind up on a European tour with a circus, which gives writers Eric Darnell and Noah Baumbach the opportunity to introduce some fun new characters. These include a hoop-jumping tiger (voiced by Bryan Cranston), an evil animal control officer (Frances McDormand) and, most winningly, a dopey seal named Stefano voiced wonderfully by Martin Short. This one is a bit touched in the head, as evidenced by the “Circus Afro” sequence featured in the advertising campaign. Darnell and Baumbach write good jokes that will keep both the adults and children laughing. Stars the voices of Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer and Jada Pinkett Smith.

3Men in Black III It’s been nearly a decade since the last chapter in the Men in Black series, something I find a little shocking. The franchise has been a cash cow, and I expected to see one every four or five years. We should be up to Men in Black V or VI by now. MIB III is a return to form in some ways. The effects are much better than they were in MIB II. Tommy Lee Jones, as Agent K, mentally checked out of this series after the first one, and he has a reduced role in this chapter. Most of the heavy lifting in this installment is handled by the capable, talented egomaniac Will Smith. His Agent J is still wisecracking with the best of them, and must travel back in time to stop a hideous alien monster (Jemaine Clement) from killing K and erasing him from history. The younger K is played hilariously by a deadpan Josh Brolin, who totally captures the essence of Tommy Lee Jones. Goes a little crazy toward the end, but overall it’s a good time.

Brüka eater Summer Performing Arts Camp July 9 – July 22, 2012

Who: Young artist ages 8-16, of a variety of talent levels. When: 10am-4pm weekdays, July 9 – July 22, 2012

Study Focus:

Participants will be absorbed in acting tools, scene work, script creation, improvisation and dance/movement for two weeks while exploring and adapting Alice in Wonderland for the public performances July 21 and July 22, 2012

Sign up by June 27, 2012 $250 for 2 weeks Internships available

For more info BoxOffi ceBruka@gmail.com

3Snow White and the Huntsman The 347th Snow Whitemovie this year is actually a fairly decent one, with Kristen Stewart doing a fine job as the title character and Chris Hemsworth contributing nicely as the ax-wielding Hunstman. Best of all the cast is Charlize Theron as Ravenna, a loony queen hell-bent on staying young and eating Snow’s heart. Director Rupert Sanders puts together a swell visual movie, especially in the way he creates dwarves out of actors like Nick Frost, Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins and Toby Jones. The movie is quite good when it features Snow White running around in various enchanted forests, though not so much in the final act, where it becomes a weird Joan of Arc movie. The last act feels tacked on, like it belongs on another film. Still, Stewart is quite winning here and Theron is a bona fide scene-stealer.

4Prometheus In this prequel to his own Alien, director Ridley Scott explores all new angles in his monster universe via eye-popping 3-D visuals and intense storytelling. When scientists discover cave drawings that appear to be superior alien intelligence inviting us for a visit, an exploratory space mission travels to a distant galaxy in search of our origins. What they find involves tentacles, slime, gnarly selfadministered operations and general despair. Noomi Rapace takes on the female heroine role, with Charlize Theron along for the ride as a mysterious mission commander. Best of all is Michael Fassbender as David, a strange android who models himself after Peter O’Toole. With this, Scott proves that he is still a master of the sci-fi genre, a genre he hasn’t visited since his 1982 Blade Runner —he’s rumored to be working on a sequel to that classic, as well. The ending of this one, hopefully, paves the way for another chapter—a chapter I sincerely hope Scott is involved in.

Grand Sierra Cinema 2500 E. Second St.: 323-1100 Nevada Museum of Art, 160 W. Liberty St.: 329-3333 Carson City

Galaxy Fandango, 4000 S. Curry St.: 885-7469 Tahoe

A benefit for

MUSIC EDUCATION DEPARTMENT

SATURDAY, JUNE 23 11AM-4PM

turner Crossing business Park, Sparks

if you love music and want to show support for local musicians and music in schools, please join us for a fun day!

PRESENTED BY

For information, go to: musicianrc.com kdot.com or call (775) 355-9494

DEADLINE FOR REGISTRATION IS 5PM ON JUNE 18th!

SPONSORED BY

Sparks

Horizon Stadium Cinemas, Stateline: (775) 589-6000