Film

Very ape

Chimpanzee

While watching DisneyNature’s latest effort, Chimpanzee, I was reminded of some of the shows I used to catch as a kid during TV’s Wonderful World of Disney. I remembered being wowed by the cool nature footage that Walt’s army used to catch, and I also remembered that the narration would bore and/or annoy me in contrast. Such is also the case with Chimpanzee. The footage of a little chimpanzee orphan dubbed Oscar is amazing stuff. Oscar, an energetic 3year-old, is a cute little shit, and I could watch hours of footage featuring his adorable eyes and natural sense of mischief. As for listening to Tim Allen narrate the story of Oscar and his predicament (“Power tools … grr!”), I was longing for the voice of Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones. Or perhaps even the famous primatologist Jane Goodall, who served as an advisor on the flick. Huge credit and awe for the camera work of directors Alastair Fothergill and Mark Linfield. If, while watching the extremely close action of Oscar and his troop of chimps, you guess that the crew got their footage via zoom lenses from many yards away, guess again. Credit footage reveals that the crew was right in the thick of things covered with camouflage. That’s amazing, considering that there are large, potentially volatile chimps in Oscar’s clan. Oscar is, in fact, adopted by the group’s intimidating alpha male, dubbed “Freddie” for the film. How the human crew managed to capture their footage without losing their limbs or their heads to Freddie is beyond me. And, according to the filmmakers, the act of Freddie adopting Oscar after he loses his mommy is a landmark moment captured on film.

It has been observed that adult male chimps don’t often do that sort of thing. As the film depicts, his actions may’ve been a catalyst in an attack by neighboring chimps looking to steal his area’s food. Even if it did put his group in a bit of a pickle, it’s a great thing to watch Freddie interact with Oscar. Some of the movie’s more fascinating moments involve the two goofing around with mouthfuls of food, or Freddie showing by Oscar how to crack nuts properly. Oscar smack-Bob Grimm ing himself on the toes with rocks provides a bgrimm@ couple of laugh-out-loud moments. It must hurt newsreview.com like a bitch, yet he just goes about his business trying to crack his nuts and get a snack, much like I do with whole walnuts during the holidays. 3 Little kids going to see this movie will probably be baffled by the notion of chimps eating tree monkeys, but that’s exactly what happens when food gets a little scarce. If those same kids know their Lion King, they might also be confused by the film’s villain, an ugly, menacing neighbor chimp named Scar. He shares his name with Lion King’s villain, which might prompt many a child to ask, “Say mommy, why didn’t the big ugly chimp have the voice of Jeremy Irons?” Eh, probably not. It would be interesting to see a film about the docile tree monkeys just going for a jungle stroll when a pack of voracious chimpanzees attack them and eat one of their brethren. As cute as these chimps can be, you must remind yourself that they will tear your face off and eat you. So, please, don’t go adopting any chimps, Michael Jackson style, resulting in your neighbors getting their faces torn off, making you the guest of dishonor at all future street parties. This concludes the PSAportion of this movie review. Thank you. I can understand getting a big name to narrate your nature film. Perhaps the goofiness of the Allen narration isn’t entirely his fault. But some of his efforts at dramatic tension or comedy are quite painful. They don’t completely derail the film, but they do kill the momentum at times. Straightforward narration would probably work better for adults. Then again, this one is also intended for kids, and they’d probably prefer the voice of Buzz Lightyear hamming it up as if he were reading them a story at bedtime, rather than the voice of Darth Vader. Ω

It’s hard out here for a chimp.

1

POOR

2

FAIR

3

GOOD

4

VERY GOOD

5

EXCELLENT 421 Jump Street Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum team up as an unlikely comic duo for this twisted reboot of the infamous ’80s TV show that launched the career of a little guy named Johnny Depp. The two play former high school enemies who become friends at their new job of being cops. After quickly getting into trouble, they are put into the newly reactivated 21 Jump Street program—with an angry, hilarious Ice Cube as their captain—and must go undercover as high school students to infiltrate a teen drug ring. The two are very funny together, and Tatum displays a surprising amount of comic chops. He actually has the film’s funniest moments. This will stand as one of the year’s funniest and nastiest comedies. It also contains some very memorable cameos.

2American Reunion The reality about the American Piefilms is that they were never very good, or even just good. A couple of gross-out gags involving deflowered apple pie and tainted beer got some laughs in the original, but the rest of the film was pretty weak, with the sequels getting progressively worse through the terrible American Wedding. This chapter, which might very well be the last, gives Seann William Scott’s Stifler a nice showcase, but it also gives too much screen time to dullards like Thomas Ian Nicholas and Tara Reid. Bad actors manage to sink this one, which tries to pull the nostalgia heartstrings for characters most of us couldn’t give a damn about. As for the gross-out stuff, nothing reaches the level of the original film’s semiclever nastiness. It’s time to set this franchise out to pasture.

4Bully Director Lee Hirsch’s documentary faced a lot of controversy on the way to movie screens, but managed to get its PG-13 rating so kids can see it. That’s a good thing, because every kid needs to see this movie. It’s definitely one of those. Hirsch visits the families of children who have committed suicide due, in part, to the stresses of being bullied. He also follows some kids around, including Alex, a great kid who has trouble making friends and endures physical harassment on the school bus. From what I see here, not much has changed since I went to school and bullies made life hard on many. Hirsch wants to put the message out to kids that bullying is very much a crime that can scar people for life and, even worse, take lives. I’ve known a couple of people who didn’t make it to adulthood, the victims of classmate torture for most of their adolescent lives. I wish this film had been made 30 years ago.

4The Cabin in the Woods This crazy rule-bender comes from writer/director Drew Goddard and cowriter Joss Whedon, the father of TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayerand hero to many a geek. It’s quite clever, maybe even a little too clever at times. The setup sees a typical sampling of college students getting ready for a vacation at the lake. They are Curt the Jock (Chris Hemsworth, a.k.a. Thor!), Dana the Almost Virgin (Kristen Connolly), Jules the Whore (Anna Hutchison), Holden the Hot Nerd (Jesse Williams) and Marty the Wisecracking Stoner (Fran Kranz). At the same time, we see two working stiffs (Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford) reporting to their very peculiar jobs, the details of which will not be given away. The film works as both a straight-up horror film and a funny homage to the genre, with plenty of great reveals and twists along the way, including an awesome final cameo. It sat on shelves for three years, and we finally get to see it. Yay!

2The Hunger Games For a big blockbuster based on an extremely popular novel, director Gary Ross’ film looks mighty cheap. Jennifer Lawrence plays Katniss Everdeen, forced to represent her district in a televised contest where young people must battle to the death. While Lawrence is a great actress, she doesn’t fit the role of starving teen very well. Josh Hutcherson plays her fellow district rep, Peeta, and he suits the role just fine. I just couldn’t get by the drab look of the movie, and the horrible shaky cam that manages to destroy the action visuals instead of enhancing them. Stanley Tucci, Toby Jones, Elizabeth Banks and Woody Harrelson are all saddled with silly getups for their roles, which might’ve played OK had another director filmed them. The movie is just a strange clash of tones, never has a consistent feel, and is surprisingly boring considering the subject matter.

2Mirror Mirror Director Tarsem Singh, who made last year’s awful, horrible Immortals, does a little better with this wacky take on the story of Snow White. Julia Roberts does her best as the evil queen looking to rid herself of the beautiful Snow White (a charming Lily Collins). Armie Hammer gives it a go as the handsome prince, while Nathan Lane tries to provide comic relief. The film looks good, with lush visuals and costuming. The seven dwarfs are toughed up and amusing. Yet, the film struggles to find a consistent tone that it never quite achieves. Tarsem is capable of making a good-looking movie—it’s just that his movies are usually kind of irredeemably silly. The film rips off Ella Enchanted during its credits by having Collins lip-synch a pop song. Stupid.

2Think Like a Man Comedian and radio talk show host Steve Harvey wrote the bestselling book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy and Commitmentin 2009. Even though it’s an advice book, with no plot, somebody has managed to make a movie out of it anyway. The film follows four couples as the women read and take the sage advice of Steve Harvey, who strikes me as an arrogant asshole. So I don’t buy that the characters in this movie would give two shits about what Steve Harvey has to say. Harvey appears occasionally in the film, spewing his nonsense straight at the audience, appearing on talk shows in the film, etc. A winning cast makes things sporadically tolerable, with fun performances from Michael Ealy, Jerry Ferrara and Gabrielle Union. They are good. Steve Harvey the douche can suck it, as can Chris Brown, who appears in a lame cameo.

2The Three Stooges Peter and Bobby Farrelly have been trying to get this thing made for years. There were times when high profile actors such as Sean Penn and Jim Carrey were attached to the project. What finally makes it to the screen is a cast of talented people giving it their all with a script that lets them down. Sean Hayes is especially amazing as Larry, while Chris Diamantopoulos and Will Sasso do good jobs as Moe and Curly respectively. The problem is that the writers rely on dumb jokes involving Jersey Shore, and most of the cast surrounding the Stooges—with the exception of Larry David doing fine work as a grouchy nun—has nothing worthwhile to do. The slapstick hits are often good, but there’s just no story worth watching, and things get a little tedious by the time the credits roll—too bad, because there’s potential for consistent fun with the new Stooges. As performers, the three new guys do the originals proud, even if the movie falls short.

2Wrath of the Titans Bad beards, an especially drab actor, and a whole lot of messed up Greek mythology nonsense make their return in this bad film that is, nonetheless, a marked improvement over 2010’s inexcusable Clash of the Titans. There are enjoyable, even exciting stretches in this film where the action and pyrotechnics overwhelm the fact that the movie is anchored with the dullard that is Sam Worthington. As Perseus, son of Zeus aspiring to be nothing but a human fisherman with awesome flip-hair, he registers zero on the charisma meter. Being that he’s onscreen more than anybody in these Titan pics, it’s a little hard to endorse them. This has some pretty decent explosions and a couple of neat creatures. The 3-D, while not extraordinary, is better than it was in chapter one of this hopefully finished franchise.

Reno

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