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Chick flick

There have been a lot of Little Women adaptations, and I will not list all of them here because, well, it’s my column, and I don’t want to. So there.

Anyway, most of you out there who go to the movies or watch them on that TV thing are probably most familiar with the 1994 adaptation that starred Winona Ryder, the little vampire from Interview with the Vampire (Kirsten Dunst) and Batman (Christian Bale). I recall liking that one. I mean, it had Batman and Vampire Girl in it, for God’s sake—and the girl from Beetlejuice!

Now comes the umpteenth adaptation of the classic Louisa May Alcott novel, and it’s safe to say this one is in the running for best adaptation of the story, ever.

Directed by rising directorial juggernaut Greta Gerwig (the magnificent, ultra-fantastic Lady Bird)—who has a vision with her films that declares, “Hey, we aren’t screwing around here!”—her third feature effort is an across the board stunner.

It’s a beautiful thing to look at due to some of the year’s best art direction and camerawork. It’s also chock-full of tremendous performances, and it’s written and directed by Gerwig, whose vision makes this an admirable update of a precious work.

Saoirse Ronan, who also starred in Lady Bird, headlines as Jo March, eldest sister of the March clan, which includes three others: Meg (Emma Watson), Amy (Florence Pugh) and Beth (Eliza Scanlen). Ronan, not surprisingly, makes the intrepid character of Jo her own, a budding writer who is trying to get her ideas past a crusty editor (Tracy Letts, who had a damn fine 2019).

Gerwig, in a departure from past adaptations, focuses more on the girls as adults, with flashbacks to their younger days. In doing this, she has chosen not to cast Amy with two different actresses. Pugh, who is well into her 20s, plays Amy at every stage, even falling through the ice as a pre-teen. I’d say that was an odd choice, but the other choice would be to have less screen time for Pugh, and I say a big no to that. Yes, she doesn’t look like she’s 12, but who cares? She’s a master in every scene.

Timothée Chalamet steps in for Batman as Theodore “Laurie” Laurence, and there couldn’t have been a better choice for the role. His first dance with Jo, where they go a little crazy outside on a porch alone during a party, is as timeless as movie dancing gets. Chalamet has such skill and ridiculous amounts of charm with every line delivery that not a single second of his movie time is wasteful.

My one minor quibble about the movie? Gerwig is so damned ambitious with the way she shows the many timelines (out of chronological order), and there were definitely moments where I was a little confused. Again, it’s a minor quibble because even though it is occasionally confusing, it is always enjoyable.

In the end, this is how you do a period piece, damn it—a fresh take that makes you feel like you are seeing a story for the first time, even if you’ve seen that story multiple times before. And it provides that feeling of transportation to another time. Also, it doesn’t hurt to have Meryl Streep in your period piece. That’s always a good thing.

Driving it all home are characters that you root for, played by one of 2019’s greatest ensembles. All hail Greta Gerwig for bringing this group together in delightful, superbly entertaining fashion.

Up next for Gerwig? Possibly a Barbie movie with Margot Robbie. I am curious to see how that one pans out. It’s going to be interesting if it moves forward with Gerwig at the helm. It’s always interesting when she’s at the helm. Ω

“Thank goodness we all remembered to wear our beach-going frocks.”

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3Bombshell Charlize Theron is uncanny as Megyn Kelly in this hit-and-miss take on the sexual harassment scandals that plagued Fox News thanks to the deplorable Roger Ailes, played here by John Lithgow under lots of makeup. The movie is propped up by terrific work from Theron, Nicole Kidman as Gretchen Carlson, and Margot Robbie as a composite character representing the many women who were assaulted by the likes of Ailes and Bill O’Reilly. Director Jay Roach is all over the place with his tone, with the film veering back and forth between dark comedy and serious drama. It never finds the balance that happens in great films, but it is often a good one, especially thanks to Theron, who is amazing in every second she spends on screen (and the makeup work is Oscar-worthy as well). Roach blows it with his portrayals of Bill O’Reilly (Kevin Dorff) and Rudy Giuliani (Richard Kind), who come off as bad impersonations rather than true characters. What should’ve been an important film comes off as partial failure.

1Cats So, when this thing started, I was actually liking it a bit. It looked weird as hell, and I could tell the cast was singing live on set, which I admire. But, after about five minutes, a malaise sinks in that doesn’t lift. That malaise is due mainly to the fact that this musical sucks to begin with. No amount of CGI wizardry (which, sadly, this film doesn’t have) can save this blight on humanity. The music is god awful, excepting for a brief interlude where something resembling a beautiful melody sticks out like a sore thumb. That would be “Beautiful Ghosts,” a song cowritten by Taylor Swift that is actually good. They should’ve let Taylor rewrite the whole damn thing. She actually shows up for a brief stretch toward the end of the movie, a life preserver in a sea of shit that, unfortunately, is snatched away before you can really grab onto it. Judi Dench stars as the apparent overseer of some sort of America’s Got Talent for felines. (I really have no idea what was going on in this movie.) The weirdness of the visuals, combined with the slog pacing and shitty music, will have you thinking you have a bad case of cat scratch fever, or perhaps somebody dropped acid into your Coke Zero. I saw the original version. Apparently there’s a new version out there with some fixed visuals. Readers, I love you, but there is no fucking way I am subjecting myself to this a second time.

4Ford v Ferrari It’s the 1960s, and Henry Ford II (Tracy Letts) has had it up to here with Enzo Ferrari (Remo Girone) and his fast, flashy car ways. He and cronies such as Lee Iacocca (Jon Bernthal) and Leo Beebe (Josh Lucas) are chapped, and they want to send a message to the world that Ford isn’t just about family cars. Enter Carroll Shelby (Matt Damon), a former race car driver turned designer and salesman after a heart condition benches him. Ford hires Shelby to design and race a car that can beat Ferrari in races, mainly the 24 Hours of Le Mans. It’s a tall order, and it calls for a crazy guy behind the wheel and calling the shots in Ken Miles (Christian Bale), an English-born rule-breaker who can drive a car and instantly know what can be fixed on it to make the damn thing go faster. Director James Mangold (Walk the Line) films Ford v Ferrari in a way where you feel every gear shift, every hairpin turn, and every moment when a car can skid off the tracks and cause grave injury. In this sense, the movie is simply at the top of the auto movie genre. Damon and Bale are otherworldly good as two pals who have no problem punching each other in the face on occasion, but always strain to have each other’s backs. 4 Knives Out Director Rian Johnson, maker of the divisive Star Wars: The Last Jedi, but also maker of the brilliant Looper, takes a crack at the whodunnit genre and comes up mostly aces. Daniel Craig stars as private investigator Benoit Blanc, mysteriously hired by somebody in a rich family after the strange, supposed suicide death of their patriarch, mystery author Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer still going strong). There’s something fishy about his death, and his personal nurse Marta (the awesome Ana de Armas) knows something the rest of the family doesn’t know. What transpires is a solid mystery with a fun set of characters featuring a stellar cast, including Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Shannon, Don Johnson, Toni Collette, LaKeith Stanfield and Chris Evans. Craig is especially good in a role that allows him to show his comic side, with Shannon and Johnson also impressive as a couple of paranoiacs. Above all, it gives the talented Armas a chance to really shine.

1Star Wars: Episode IX-The Rise of Skywalker Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is a disastrous, soulless squandering of the good will built up by The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi. Director J.J. Abrams and producer Kathleen Kennedy should’ve stepped back after producing this rancid turd and realized that this franchise deserved a better sendoff. Sadly, the money has got to get made, so here it is, the last chapter in the Skywalker Saga on time for holiday moviegoing, a chapter that had me longing for The Star Wars Holiday Special. The first hour is virtually unwatchable, fast and furious but with no editing flow and no sense of purpose other than to simply get you to the next part. Fans going in looking for answers or meaningful storytelling will not only be bewildered, but blindingly pissed off. It’s pretty clear that Abrams and friends had no real plans when they laid out this latest trilogy. They are making this crap up as they go along. Force Awakens, also directed by Abrams, was a promising start. Heck, I’ll call it a classic. Then, The Last Jedi happened, with Rian Johnson getting permission to go off the reservation with his storytelling, and he most certainly did. Some of the plot choices in Jedi were odd, but at least that movie was a decent film that felt like a Star Wars movie, peppered with some laughably bad moments. The Rise of Skywalker is a laughably bad movie peppered with the occasional moments that don’t suck as much as the rest of them.

5Uncut Gems Adam Sandler is having a pretty good year in 2019. He’s made a triumphant return to Saturday Night Live as host, and he reteamed with Jennifer Aniston for the actually fairly watchable Murder Mystery on Netflix. And, oh, yeah, he has just made what is, by far, the greatest film of his beautifully erratic career. With Uncut Gems, Sandler joins forces with directors Benny and Josh Safdie, makers of the excellent Robert Pattinson vehicle Good Time, and delivers the kind of dramatic performance—fully committed and thoroughly proficient—that he’s hinted at in the past with strong efforts in Punch-Drunk Love and The Meyerowitz Stories. As Howard Ratner, a New York City jewelry store owner and gambling addict, Sandler catapults himself into the upper echelon of today’s fine actors—not bad for the creative force behind Grown Ups 2. The film doesn’t just thrive on performances; it’s bursting with style and originality in its overall approach. The Safdies adopt a visual and sound style that makes Howard’s crazed adventure a swirling trip. It’s edited with the sort of electricity that keeps you riveted, with psychedelic trips inside opals, and even Howard’s colon, to boot. Apart from being one of the year’s best films, it’s also one of its most original. 01.02.20 | RN&R | 17