RN&R Bridal Guide 2019

a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 17, 2019

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Bridal 2019 Guide heart on my sleeve .......................3 in your corner ..............................5

dream theme ....................................7 get the picture ............................... 8

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a special supplement to the reno news & review

Bridal Guide 2019

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Heart on my sleeve

elcome to the 2019 RN&R Bridal Guide. This was a learning experience for me, readers.

I’m not married, and I’ve only been to a few weddings in my life. In almost all those cases, the intricacies of the planning, the meaning of the traditions, and the effort it took to put on the event were completely lost on me. So, I decided, in order to write this guide, I needed to take an interest in more than just the open bar.

That’s why I approached this guide with all the questions I might have if I were asked to plan a wedding—something I now realize is a feat even if I had a year to plan. According to my Instagram feed, the first step for any new couple is social media-worthy engagement pictures. I spoke with three local wedding photographers about how those magical images come together, and what you should look for in a photographer. You can read about the process on page 8.

Next, I wanted some professional direction on how to get the big ticket items (the dress, the rings and the venue), so I spoke with seasoned vendors about where to start when planning a fully customized wedding. That story is on page 5.

When it comes to the actual day, Andrea Heerdt spoke to a wedding planner and a newly married bride about how to include all of your favorite pop culture themes and references at your wedding. I know I’ve had more fun at weddings where the couple was willing to buck stuffy traditions for something a little more

personal, and you can read about that on page 7.

On page 27 of our regular issue is my interview with Larry Williams, a long-time wedding DJ and host of wedding-themed podcast “Lifting the Veil,” who has some advice for new brides who might have received a ring for the holidays.

Finally, in the Arts & Culture section of our regular issue, Associate Editor Jeri Chadwell walked us through some of her own experience with marriage. Namely, if things don’t work out between you and your partner, what do you do with the ring? You can read about her decision on page 16.

To quote The Princess Bride, “Mawage is wot bwings us togedder today,” and even though I’ve had little first-hand experience with walking down the aisle, I can see that’s the real point of a wedding—to bring people together. To me, the planning, expenses and stress that go into a wedding seem like an incredible headache for just one day—and it is, I was told. But everyone I spoke to for this guide also told me that celebrating that day with friends and family is more than worth it. Hopefully this guide will give you some practical, common sense ideas about planning your own wedding, but I also hope you’ll take something away fom my outsider’s experience— It’s only worth it if it’s fun.

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a special supplement to the reno news & review

by Matt bieker | ma ttb @ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m photos/matt Bieker

in your

corner A team of professional wedding vendors explains what you should know before the big day

I

t can be tough to know where to start when it comes to planning a contemporary wedding. Your grandma might insist on a traditional ceremony when you’ve been fantasizing about your underwater theme for years. Yelp is stuffed full of scary reviews for local vendors, of which there are dozens in Reno alone, and it’s tempting to think, “I could save some money if I just picked all the flowers myself.” When it comes to getting the ball rolling, these professionals have some advice for couples preparing to take the plunge.

The rings Doug Moore has been a jeweler for more than 20 years, and is the owner of D Street Designs in midtown. He said that over half of his orders are for custom wedding or engagement rings. Since the rings are a concrete reminder of the wedding day itself—and a lasting expression of you and your partner’s style—it’s worth it to consider investing in a custom set. Moore interviews his clients to get ideas about their perfect piece, from elaborate textures and settings to simple bands and stones. Time, he said, is one of the biggest factors in developing a custom ring.

“A month is ideal, max,” Moore said. “But here’s the thing, too. I’m often booked out. Our waiting list fluctuates anywhere between three to six months at any given time.”

The other biggest factor is, of course, budget. Moore said the majority of his work costs between $2,500 and $5,000, but the quality of the materials is inherent in the price.

Moore uses ethically sourced gems and Nevadamined gold. Certain stylistic concession can bring the price down substantially, however.

“Recently, it’s been rose gold and then a lot of rough uncut diamonds ... it’ll have all the inclusions in it—that’s been the look,” Moore said, referring to recent trends he’s seen in wedding pieces.

“Those diamonds are uncut. I mean they’re literally a fraction of the price.”

The venue Unless you’re eloping to a secluded beach, the wedding venue is perhaps the most important decision couples will make as it affects everyone on the guest list. Gigi Werbeckes is the manager of the Grove, a private wedding venue in South Reno, and said that couples should do their homework before touring a venue in person.

“They will go first go to our website, then they’ll look at our Facebook. They’ll look at all the pictures, but when they call, or when they email me, we qualify them,” Werbeckes said. “Can we accommodate their guest count? That’s the first thing.

Also, what time of year are they looking for?”

Private venues can take a lot of the guess work out of the day when it comes to variables like the weather or off-site vendors. Places like the Grove will also offer in-house catering, decorating, and set up and break down services, the convenience of which can easily be worth the added cost.

“We want them to enjoy the day and remember that dance on the floor,” Werbeckes said. “I want them to remember that funny toast. I don’t want them to not know because they were so busy in the kitchen trying to get something together where they miss that whole opportunity to be a guest at their own wedding.”

Average wedding pricing at the Grove can run between $10,000 and $15,000, and couples should be prepared to schedule it at least six months in advance.

That kind of commitment can seem daunting, but Werbeckes said that couples are also purchasing a support system for that time period as well.

“I am their constant,” she said. “They talk to me on the phone. They are emailing me there. We’re shooting pictures back and forth to each other, ‘Hey, what do you think of this?’ I’m meeting with them, and then, all of a sudden, the wedding’s over.

The tears have been spent because we’ve seen such a great event.” Ω

The dress No matter the style, most brides have a vision of how they want to look on the day, and Michelle Depaoli, owner of Swoon Bridal Salon, has spent over 10, years making those visions a reality.

“We’re going to sit down with the bride and try to learn a bit about her story,” Depaoli said. “Then we go right to the mood of it. How do you want to feel on your wedding day? Give us an adjective.”

Depaoli said that the first step to picking a dress is to leave the Pinterest-perfect standards at the door.

“My main thing is to use Instagram and Pinterest for inspiration, but to not go down that rabbit hole of that kind of fantasy world that social media can sometimes present itself,” Depaoli said. “Often times we do have brides that spend hours and hours gathering all this information, and it just floats away within a matter of minutes once we get them into actual dresses.”

She recommends brides start shopping for their dresses nine months in advance, giving the designers time to hand-sew the pieces and leaving room for alterations. While dress shopping is supposed to be a fun time, Depaoli also warns against soliciting too many opinions.

“We’re seeing [brides] bring in these big crowds of people with them to do it, and it’s just not super constructive,” she said. “Bring the people with you who are so trusted, either emotionally or, like, you trust their style, whatever it is, but be mindful and thoughtful about who you invite into this process with you.”

Finally, the sticker shock for heirloom quality dresses can be a nasty surprise (many of Swoon’s start at $1,200). Depaoli has a way of helping brides conceive of their maximum budgets before they even set foot in the salon.

“We always want people to know what we would call their ‘crazy,’” Depaoli said. “What’s your crazy?

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a special supplement to the reno news & review

dream Theme Planning your pop culture wedding

by AndreA Heerdt

P

op culture themed weddings are on the rise. From Marvel Comics to Harry Potter to Star Wars and beyond, more and more couples are branching away from tradition to incorporate their favorite books, music, sports teams and movies into their big day. While themed weddings give you considerable freedom, there’s no roadmap on how to plan and execute your ideas as if you were preparing for a traditional wedding.

Local wedding planner Kerie MacLeod has been the owner and operator She Said Yes Weddings and Events for four years and has planned a number of themed weddings spanning very different subject matter.

MacLeod said the first thing she does when she begins planning a couple’s wedding is ask them what their favorite colors are, what their hobbies are, and what some of their favorite things are. She first asks them

personal questions about themselves rather than asking what they envision their wedding to look like in order to engage their personalities rather than their expectations, which she can then incorporate into their wedding. From this point, it’s easier for her to help a couple decide on potential themes.

When it comes to choosing a theme that’s going to be timeless for a couple, MacLeod said it’s all about incorporating the things you love into your wedding without going overboard. Small accents of your chosen theme are a much better way of incorporating, say, your favorite movie rather than having the movie be the centerpiece and draw too much attention away from what a wedding is supposed to be about—the bride and groom.

MacLeod said a lot of couples come to her with the idea of wanting a Disney themed

had been to enough traditional weddings to know that option wasn’t for them.

“People get so hung up on traditions that they forget how boring they can be,” he said.

Kaitlyn said their theme was inspired by how they began dating. After meeting online, the two attended the California Roots Music and Arts Festival within a week of knowing each other. Kaitlin said they would always joke about having a festival-themed wedding, so when Kyle proposed she said it was like the two had already settled on a theme they both wanted.

Because they didn’t have a wedding planner, it was up to Kaitlin, Kyle, family and friends to help execute their vision.

Kaitlin recalls initially choosing to have her wedding on her parents’ property in Wellington, which had fewer restrictions that a traditional venue.

“Because [the venue] was out in the middle of nowhere, we decided to do a wedding during the day, and we didn’t have to worry about music playing too late, so our chosen venue afforded us to be able to dream big,” said Kaitlin.

The couple’s love for brunch food, distaste for wedding dance floors, and desire for a true festival vibe were all put wedding, an idea that can quickly into consideration during the planning become overkill. If you’re a fan process. According to Kaitlin, once they of Cinderella, for example, she finished larger steps in planning, smaller suggests having a Cinderellasteps followed, which made it easier to plan like dress rather than an elaborate the details. replica, or having quotes from the “We had a lot of different things that movie when you enter the venue rather maybe wouldn’t work at a more traditional, than having Disney merchandise everywhere. classic wedding,” said Kaitlin. “For This ensures the theme doesn’t become example, we had a bounce house. too overwhelming.

I think that would look really One part of the wedding weird at a black tie event, MacLeod recommends keepbut since it was during the PeoPle get ing completely traditional is day and music festiva the ceremony, especially the themed, it totally went.’ so hung uP on vows. She said the theme In addition to the traditions that they bounce should be kept at the recephouse, Kaitlin tion, as themes have a way and Kyle went all out forget how boring of taking the magic away and incorporated a they can be from the ceremony. She bubble station, an array also notes that when themes of concert posters, a gazebo are relegated to the reception it decorated with tye-dye flags makes for a fun surprise for guests. and filled with marijuana vape MacLeod recalls one wedding where the pens, giant fake flowers growing from the ceremony was completely conventional, but ground from spray painted PVC pipes and when the reception began, the bride and groom rainbow smoke bombs to conclude their walked out for their first dance, busted out ceremony. lightsabers and had a duel before entering the “You kind of have this hope that what dance floor, which wowed the crowd. you think is cool other people will enjoy,” When planning your theme, she said to said Kaitlin. Because the festival theme consider your grandma and grandpa or other was so eclectic, all of the decorations family members who are traditionalists. blended together without it being too Although it’s your wedding you’re planning, overwhelming, she said.

MacLeod said, “Don’t just be like ‘I’m a Kaitlin’s advice for couples consider20-something-year-old—I’m just going to do ing a themed wedding would be to hire a what I want.’” day-of wedding coordinator, so you can Reno locals Kaitlin and Kyle Young celefocus on the party instead of any problems. brated their music festival-themed wedding on Ω Oct. 13, 2018. According to Kyle, the couple

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Taylor Benedickt and her fiance, Nate, posed for their engagement photos at the beach where he proposed.

by Matt bieker | m at t b@ n ew s r ev i ew . com

Get the

pictuRe A

nyone who uses social media has probably noticed a specific type of post standing out between the car selfies and eerily specific advertisements—the adventure engagement photo.

Instead of the usual prom-photo poses or unflattering camera flash, your friends are suddenly bathed in magical light, looking very much in love, surrounded by a stunning mountain/forest/ocean backdrop.

Professional engagement photos can be as elaborate as a West Coast roadtrip or as simple as a backyard stroll. However, couples hoping to have the perfect pics should know what goes into making them happen.

“Documenting this part of me and my fiancé’s life was important to me—and doing it in a way that spoke to our relationship,” said Taylor Benedickt, who had her engagement photos taken in September. “So, like, I could go to Tahoe and take pictures where there’s a pretty background, but, to me, telling the story of who we are in this moment of our lives is important.”

Benedickt, who is herself a wedding photographer, knew that she wanted her photos taken somewhere that had a meaningful connection to her relationship, so she

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and took photos until well past dark. Benedickt saw the value of the trip as another way to make memories with her fiancé and her wedding photographer, instead of just paying for pretty pictures.

“It was worth it for the memories we got for the photos, and also just connecting with Taylor,” Benedickt said. “She is going to be capturing, like, one of the biggest days of our life. Being able to have those experiences where, you know, she saw the funny moments or vulnerable moments, it brought us closer, and it makes me want to trust her more to capture that important day of ours.”

Benedickt said having a personal connection both with her photographer and with her own clients is important. In the sea of competition for wedding vendors in Reno, the last thing she wanted was an impersonal experience motivated by the bottom line.

“When you’re choosing someone, you’re looking at their work and what they offer, but you’re also looking at their personality, because personality is what’s going to set you apart and your product apart,” Benedickt said.

“Personalities don’t always go well together, and that could be a big problem on your wedding day, especially with a photographer, because they’re the person you’re going to spend the most time with during your day.”

Photographers talk about how to get the perfect engagement photos chose the coastal town of Brookings, Oregon, for her backdrop—the same place her fiancé, Nate, had proposed to her a few months earlier.

“Choosing the location was important for me,” Benedickt said. “Choosing what we wore, what we were doing, like, I wasn’t going to make a big deal of something that [wasn’t important]. And that kind of goes back to what I promote to my clients as well, is that, you know, be yourself and show your authentic self.”

Rather than opting for an elaborate shoot, Benedickt hired Taylor Kern, another local photographer whose work she was familiar with, as both her engagement and wedding photographer. Kern followed her and Nate to Brookings, where they hiked down to the beach

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courtesy/taylor Kern

Making things click Kern, who has been photographing couples and weddings for the past three years, also agrees that making a personal connection with her clients is a must—you could say she only works with people she considers her friends. Feeling mutually comfortable with her clients, Kern said, is as important to the final product as technique, so couples should prepare for a potentially intimate interview process.

“We schedule our shoots five months to six months out, sometimes, and then we start prepping it about four weeks prior,” Kern said. “And so, I just start asking them like, ‘What’s your vision? What would explain you? Like, does your fiancé like motorcycles?

Do you guys like hot springs? What kind of people are you?’”

Even though she is informal with her couples, often bringing beer and firewood along to shoots, getting the right shots on a specific day in a specific place requires a game plan. Still, she said, a little spontaneity can make for better photos—and more fun.

“Sometimes I’m just like, ‘Oh, this is a really pretty area, let’s pull off here,’ and that’s kind of what makes it more adventurous,” Kern said. “And I really read my couples and see if they’re the type of people that like to do that, because some people are very much the planners, and they need an exact place where we’re going at all times.”

Most of Kern’s clients find her through Instagram, she said. The platform is vital to her business as it’s the only form of marketing she has invested in, and many of her clients come to her with a specific idea

they have from their feed. Most requests revolve around a feeling of authenticity, as opposed to the formal poses and generic settings of traditional wedding aesthetics.

“I feel like engagement photos in the past have been in studios or just, like, the idea behind them was not who their relationship was,” Kern said. “I think that now it has broadened … and you could do that with just you two and your home that you just moved into that’s really special to you, or to tell a story behind your engagement photos.”

Picture Perfect Social media is prone to exaggeration, though.

Jeramie Lu, a commercial and wedding photographer and owner of Hatch Studio, said that sometimes the happy couple can look a little too perfect—and they very well might be.

“The other biggest thing that couples need to realize is that not all photos posted on Instagram are from real weddings or engagements,” Lu said. “They’re called ‘styled shoots’ that are super popular right now, and I hate them.”

Lu said that certain photos couples find online could be more for the photographer’s benefit in terms of social media likes. They can set up unrealistic expectations of what a typical couple’s time and budget will allow for.

“Imagine taking a beautiful girl you know, and you know this beautiful guy, and they don’t even know each other,” Lu said. “You hire them. You guys go to Yosemite. You do an amazing engagement shoot because they’re professional models. You’ve got six

hours to do the shoot. You’re waiting for the location to happen and you create this amazing shot, but then you throw them on your website, and all of a sudden you call these engage“I feel lIke engagement photos In the ment or wedding past have been In studIos or just, lIke, shots.” the Idea behInd them was not who Styled shoots theIr relatIonshIp was.” often use Taylor Kern an entire team of off-camera vendors to produce a certain look, ironically making them the opposite of the authentic, minimalist experience most customers might have in mind.

“It’s kind of like reality TV compared to real life,” Lu said.

Choosing the right photographer and setting is important if Insta-worthy pics are on your engagement agenda, because the going rate for most photographers can be upwards of $500 an hour. Lu said choosing a photographer is not an area where you want to scrimp, however. If there’s a particular photographer’s style that ticks all the boxes, Lu said reaching out to him or her directly is worth the asking price.

“Just hire that photographer, even if it’s a little bit more, rather than trying to make somebody who doesn’t do that style mimic that style,” Lu said. Ω

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Big day Blueprints lueprints

• Whether you’ve got guests coming from out of town or are planning a destination wedding, it’s time to consider lodging. You may want to consider booking a block of hotel rooms.

• It’s time to make some decisions concerning the menu for your big day. Does the venue offer catering? If not, this is a good time to start meeting with caterers.

• It’s time to buy or order whatever outfit you want for your wedding. Between ordering and altering, a wedding getup may take upwards of six months to be ready.

• Get your wedding registry up and running.

Maybe you’d like to consider something in lieu of a registry? How about a “honey fund” to help pay for your honeymoon?

• Speaking of which, it’s probably about time to start planning your honeymoon.

7-6

months out

• If that honeymoon you just planned involves a great escape to foreign shores, it’s time to get your passports up-to-date and make sure you’ve got any immunizations you may need.

• It’s time to get your wedding party outfitted.

It’s important not to put this off, because they may need multiple fittings to get their outfits just right.

Use this checklist to help plan your marital merger

18-12

months out

• Nail down your budget. How much are you and your spouse-to-be contributing?

Is anyone else pitching in? (Be prepared— those with a financial stake often want a say in things like the guest list and menu.)

• Select an officiant (minister, justice of the peace, etc.). You can book one, or you can talk a friend into getting licensed and ordained.

• Pick your wedding party. People are going to start wondering about this as soon as they hear you’re engaged. Having your party selected will make it easier to get them outfitted and plan for events like bachelor/ bachelorette parties and the rehearsal dinner.

• Figure out how many people you’re inviting, and start a guest list spreadsheet. You can use it to track names, RSVPs, contact info for thank you letters and the like.

• Send out those “save the date” letters, emails, texts, smoke signals or whatever you’re using. If you’re sending invitations, get them ordered.

• Pick your date and book your venue(s).

The earlier you decide, the better your chances of getting both the date and location you want.

• If you’re going to hire a wedding planner, this is the time to start shopping around for one. If you don’t want one, that’s your call—just make sure you consider all of the hypotheticals before you decide. For example, you might plan to decorate your venue the night before but find out that there’s been a last-minute booking for that night, and now you can’t decorate until the morning of—can you deal?

12-8

months out

• Book your photographer and/or videographer.

• Will you be booking a band or a DJ? Either way, it’s time to get this done.

• Meet with your officiant to plan the ceremony. This is especially important if your officiant is a friend or family member who doesn’t have experience in the wedding arena. You’ll want to make sure the person who’s doing you the honor is confident and comfortable with leading the ceremony.

• Book your florist. You should know your wedding colors and theme by now.

5-4

months out

• Book the venue for your rehearsal dinner.

• Choose your cake and order it too.

• Start making lists of music. Decide what you want playing during key parts of your wedding day. Make sure you also have a list of songs you don’t want to hear. Send this off to your band/DJ. • If you’re having your hair and makeup done, now’s the time to start shopping around for the right person(s) to do it.

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3-2

months out

• Check in with your florist and caterer. Make any changes to the menu or floral arrangement based on what’s going to be in season and likely to be available.

• Give a heads-up to anyone you’d like to have speak during the ceremony or reception.

• If you haven’t already, now’s the time to buy your wedding rings. This should leave enough time for them to be sized, if necessary.

• Write a provisional schedule for your ceremony and reception—what will happen when. Give copies of this to the people who will provide food, music and flowers. This will give you plenty of time to make adjustments and answer any questions they have.

• Send out your invitations about two months before the wedding, and ask everyone to RSVP within two or three weeks. If you’re asking people to travel long distances, do this around six months out instead.

1

month out

• By this time, you should be sending out as many final payments as you’re able.

• It’s time to get your marriage license. If either of you are changing your names, get several copies.

• Send out the invitations to your rehearsal dinner.

• You should have the number of guests nailed down by now, so—if you’re having booze—go ahead and order it!

• If you’re assigning seating at the reception, you’ll want to take care of that soon.

• Don’t forget about bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts.

1

week out

• Pick up your outfit(s).

• Call all of your vendors to make sure they’re all set.

• Send your final guest list to the caterer.

• Don’t let little worries stress you now.

This is it. Take a deep breath. Take a nap.

Smoke a joint. Take a Valium. We’re not here to judge. Ω

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