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Gross and stupid

Last week, I received a message saying Louis C.K. was available for interviews along with a link to watch his latest film, I Love You, Daddy. I also got a form asking for, among other things, my reaction to the movie.

I was a little peeved that my reaction to the film was needed before granting an interview, but no big deal. As a long-standing, rabid Louis C.K. fan, I figured the movie would be great, right?

This is easily the worst movie or show C.K. has made since Pootie Tang. Not only is it a bad movie on a purely technical level, but its subject matter is, as you may already know, a bit suspect.

For the past couple of years, I’d been reading those disturbing “rumors” of C.K.’s demented sexual proclivities. This weird-as-all-fuck movie seems to be a sort of strange confessional about that alleged, messed-up mistreatment of female colleagues and fans.

It also seems to be giving the finger to people who take issue with artists who do stupid, arguably criminal things, as if those people are being shallow for not separating art from a person’s bad behavior. It has a real creepy, odd vibe to it. And, as I’ve already stated, it’s just not very good.

After watching, I sent a note saying I did not like the movie, and I withdrew myself from consideration to interview Louis C.K.

A few hours later, the New York Times story dropped, followed shortly thereafter by C.K.’s halfassed apology. Those mistreatments are no longer “alleged,” and now nobody will be interviewing Louis C.K., or see what is now a really, really shitty movie considering what has transpired regarding his lewd sexual deeds. The film is garbage in so many ways, and its release has been canceled.

C.K. self-funded and directed the movie in secret so nobody could tell him what he could and could not put into it. Man, does that ever show.

One of those pesky studios would’ve told him the movie looked like crap and was about questionable subject matter, all things considered. He shot it on black-and-white 35mm film quickly and cheaply. It looks washed-out and poorly constructed.

This black-and-white “art” film is, in part, an homage to Woody Allen’s Manhattan, so that’s troubling. It features an older director, played by John Malkovich—and clearly modeled after Allen—who is notorious for sleeping with underaged girls. C.K. plays a famous TV producer, a character who deeply admires the director’s work, but his fandom is called into question when said director takes an interest in his 17 year-old daughter, China, played by Chloe Grace Moretz.

The movie actually features a character, played by Charlie Day, mimicking vigorous masturbation while C.K. talks to a woman on speaker phone. So, included in this insane movie, is a slapstick depiction of one of the vile things C.K. is accused of doing.

This is also supposed to be C.K.’s modern statement on feminism but plays more like straight-up misogyny. It’s sad to see the likes of Moretz, Edie Falco and Rose Byrne virtually humiliated. As for Woody Allen, the movie clearly wants you to knock it off when it comes to denouncing C.K.’s pervert idol and former Blue Jasmine boss.

On what was supposed to be the film’s premiere day, C.K. wound up issuing a public apology to the women in the Times story. Hard to take that apology seriously after seeing the contents of this film, which he was studiously trying to release up until the moment he issued that statement.

I Love You, Daddy plays like a career suicide note, as if its maker knew his day of reckoning was coming. David Bowie made his last album knowing he was going to die, and it was beautiful. C.K. made what might be his last film perhaps knowing he was doomed or, even worse, bulletproof. It’s totally gross and stupid, and it will not be playing at a theater near you. Ω

“How does something so small cause such big problems?”

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4Blade Runner 2049 Ridley Scott’s original sci-fi masterpiece Blade Runner came out in 1982—35 years ago. Scott has tooled with the cut of that movie numerous times, resulting in a final cut that was released about 10 years ago. While there was a lot of monkeying—in a good way—with the original, it didn’t seem there was much thought, or chance, for an actual sequel. The original was a box-office bomb and didn’t start gaining its classic status until a decade after its release. In fact, critics beat up on it a bit. Here in 2017, we actually do get a sequel, this time directed by Denis Villeneuve, the visionary behind Enemy and Arrival. (Scott remains involved as a producer.) Harrison Ford, who has classically moaned about the original movie, has, nonetheless, returned to play blade runner Rick Deckard. A terrific Ryan Gosling steps into the starring role of K, a new blade runner tasked with “retiring” older model replicants, the synthetic humans originated by the likes of Rutger Hauer and Daryl Hannah in the original. Other than the presence of Ford in the final act of the movie, and the vision of Pan Am and Atari logos still present in the Los Angeles skyline, there’s little to make this one feel like a standard sequel.

3Happy Death Day A college girl learns a few lessons about life—and not being a total ass—by reliving the day she is murdered over and over again in this mediocre movie that gets by completely on the star power of a relatively unknown actress, Jessica Rothe. Rothe plays Tree Gelbman, who wakes up in a strange dorm room on the morning of her birthday to discover she has spent the night with a bit of a dweeb in Carter Davis (Israel Broussard). She storms out of the room, ignoring phone calls from her dad and basically being nasty to everybody she encounters on her walk of shame. It’s established fairly quickly that Tree is a campus jerk and has more than a few enemies. All of those enemies, and even some of her friends, become murder suspects when Tree is stabbed to death by a mask-wearing baddie on her way to a party that evening. After her life force is snuffed out, she immediately wakes up in Carter’s bed again. She goes about the same day thinking it’s just déja vu, but when she is murdered again and wakes up in the same bed on the same day again, she figures things out. She’s living a murder mystery—Groundhog Day style. Rothe just sort of comes out of nowhere to make this movie more than a rip-off of the classic Bill Murray vehicle.

1Jigsaw This film pulls the Jigsaw Killer (Tobin Bell) out of the mothballs and finds a way for the permanently scowling, droning party pooper to commence elaborate killings again. Hey, LionsGate needs a hit, and nobody over there is concerned about quality or making a lick of sense when it comes to this franchise. This mess is living proof of that. Things start in that oh-so-familiar, Saw way, with a bunch of people trapped in a room and chained to contraptions that threaten to disembowel them. They are all bad people who must confess their crimes or face the wrath of Jigsaw and a rather stellar makeup department. This movie is idiotic, but the gore masters do some pretty decent yucky stuff. There’s a half-sawed-off head moment that was quite good. Yeah, Jigsaw died in one of the past movies. I don’t remember which, and you couldn’t pay me enough to go back and watch them again to figure it out. I just know he died somewhere in the prior six films and lived on in flashbacks. The writers have come up with yet another way to return the crotchety psycho codger to the big screen because somebody at LionsGate needs one of those saltwater swimming pools and a new bike. Seven movies in, and I’ve yet to meet a Saw movie that I like. Jigsaw is more of the same, more of the lame.

3Only the Brave After a slow start, Only the Brave becomes a solid tribute to the Granite Mountain Hotshots, who lost 19 men battling the massive Yarnell Hill Fire in 2013. The Hotshots were an elite Prescott, Arizona, crew led by veteran firefighter Eric Marsh, played here by Josh Brolin. Brolin’s performance ranks among his best, showing us a man presiding over his crew like a father to his sons. Marsh takes a risk on Brendan McDonough (Miles Teller), a former drug user seeking redemption and a decent living to help provide for his newborn daughter. The always reliable Teller matches Brolin’s acting triumph every step of the way, making both Marsh and McDonough fully fleshed, complicated and ultimately likeable characters. The two seem right at home with each other on screen. Director Joseph Kosinski (Oblivion, Tron: Legacy) takes a solid step beyond his prior sci-fi missteps to provide a movie that is technically sound, emotionally powerful, and just a little hokey and overlong in spots. By the time Kosinski shows the real-life firefighters alongside their Hollywood counterparts, the film has driven home a major message about and homage to these guys.

3Stranger Things 2 The gang is all back, just one year later, for another round of ’80s horror and sci-fi nostalgia, and maybe they should’ve taken a little more time to let things settle in. The new, intermittently enjoyable season feels a little stretched out and undercooked at times, with a lot of silly subplots mucking up the works. Will (Noah Schnapp) still sees visions of the Upside Down universe, the place he spent a good part of season one languishing in while his pals searched for him. It turns out Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown), after her huge season one sacrifice going into the Upside Down, came back to our universe almost directly after, and is hiding out with Sheriff Jim Hopper (David Harbour) in a storyline that makes little sense. Dustin (Gaten Matarazzo), in a shameless nod to E.T., has captured a creature in his garbage can, and feeds it Three Musketeers bars instead of Reese’s Pieces. Winona Ryder overacts while Paul Reiser basically replaces Matthew Modine as the scientist guy. Season two manages to maintain the charm that made the first season so watchable, so fans won’t be disappointed. (Streaming on Netflix.)

4Thor: Ragnarok Somebody was smoking some laced wild shit and licking frogs when they put together Thor: Ragnarok, a film so nutty it easily surpasses the Guardians of the Galaxy films as the screwiest offering in the Marvel universe. When you hand the keys to the Thor franchise over to a director like Taika Waititi, you know you are going to get something bizarre, and Waititi doesn’t disappoint. Waititi is the New Zealand comic actor/director responsible for the hilarious vampire faux documentary What We Do in the Shadows and the funny family drama Hunt for the Wilderpeople. There’s really nothing on his resume that screams, “Hey, let’s have this guy direct an action-packed, highly expensive Thor film!” But he got the gig, so there you go. Sometimes the wild card pays off. Borrowing from a host of Marvel comics, including the famed “Planet Hulk” storyline, the hallucinogenic plot drops Thor (Chris Hemsworth) on a crazy garbage planet bent on round-the-clock, violent entertainment and led by Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum, finally getting a high-profile role worthy of him outside of a Wes Anderson film). The Grandmaster cuts Thor’s hair, dresses him in gladiator gear, and throws him into the ring for a weaponized bout with his prized competitor. That prized competitor is the Hulk, held captive on the planet for the past couple of years. He’s been nothing but the Hulk the whole time, with Dr. Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) trapped inside him. Thor and Hulk have a battle royale for the ages, followed by some great scenes where the Hulk actually speaks. There’s a whole other apocalyptic subplot going on, where Thor’s long-lost sister Hela (a striking and devilish Cate Blanchett decked out in black) is causing major havoc on his home planet of Asgard. Blanchett immediately sets herself high in the ranking of Marvel movie villains. She’s played a baddie before, but never this entertainingly.