Advice Goddess

HORTICULTURE TRAINING CLASSES FOR NEW ARBORETUM VOLUNTEERS: Learn

everything you need to know to become a volunteer at the Wilbur D. May Arboretum and Botanical Garden. Garden tours, demonstration and opportunities to practice what you’ve learned are included. Thu 4/13, Tue 4/18, Wed 4/19. $15-

$75. The Ranch House at Rancho San Rafael Regional Park, 1595 N. Sierra St., www.washoecounty.us/parks/files/arbo files/Arboretum.

NATURALLY DYED EASTER EGGS: Using roots,

veggies, fruits, spices and flowers, attendees will learn how to extract the beautiful colors of spring to naturally decorate Easter eggs. While the eggs are drying, attendees will make Easterinspired natural body products. Bring a smock or old shirt. Disposable gloves will be provided. This event is open to adults and children age 5 years old and older. No more than two children per accompanying adult. The class includes free food and beverages. Thu 4/13, 7pm. $35-$45. The Basement, 50 S. Virginia St., (775) 357-8019.

PORTRAIT SOCIETY OF RENO: Painting from

life models (no instruction). All artists are welcome. For more information, email psor2016@gmail.com. Wed 4/19, 9am. $10. Nevada Fine Arts, 1301 S. Virginia St., www.nvfinearts.com/calendar.

QUILTERS WITHOUT BOUNDARIES: This group

explores ways of making art quilts with non-traditional products and techniques. The group meets the third Monday of every month from. Mon 4/17, 1pm. $5. Nevada Fine Arts, 1301 S. Virginia St., www.nvfinearts.com.

WATERCOLOR PAINTERS OPEN GROUP: This is a

group of watercolor painters who paint together and learn from each other. Fri 4/14, 9am. $5. Nevada Fine Arts, 1301 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-1128.

WEDNESDAY WORKSHOPS: Multiple hour-

long workshops and presentations on various topics. Changes weekly. Topics vary from consciousness to art, music, social networking, theater, etc. Contact ksweetsparlormint@gmail.com if you are interested in facilitating a workshop of your choice. Wed 4/19, 6pm. The Potentialist Workshop, 836 E. Second St., www.potentialistworkshop.com.

COMMUNITY

BLANKETS, TOWELS AND TOY DONATIONS

NEEDED: Tax-deductible donations of blankets, towels and toys may be dropped off daily 11am-6pm at the SPCA of Northern Nevada Pet Care and Adoption Center off the 395 Dandini Exit. Donations may also be dropped off at the SPCA Thrift Store at 401 Vine St. Mon-Sun. SPCA of Northern Nevada, 4950 Spectrum Blvd., http://spcanevada.org.

BLOOD DONATIONS: Give the gift of life. Donors must be healthy, weigh at least 110 pounds and be at least 17 years old. Call to make an appointment. Mon-Fri. United Blood

Services, 1125 Terminal Way, (775) 324-6454. BREAST CANCER—ON WITH LIFE: Saint

Mary’s team of social workers and educators, as well as other breast cancer survivors, meet weekly to discuss cancer survivorship. The group meets in the Tumor Board Conference Room. Tue 4/18, 4:30pm. Free. Saint Mary’s Center for Health, 645 N. Arlington Ave., Suite 120, (775) 722-1222.

CROCHET CONNECTION: Learn to crochet

or share tips with other crochet enthusiasts. Thu 4/13, 4pm. Free. Spanish Springs Library, 7100A Pyramid Lake Highway, Spanish Springs, (775) 424-1840.

FRIDAY NIGHT BALLROOM DANCING: The Senior

Dance Club of Reno presents live music, refreshments and three hours of dancing every Friday evening from 8pm to 11pm. Singles and beginners are welcome to attend. Fri 4/14, 8pm. $7-$10. Washoe County Senior Center, Building E, 1155 E. Ninth St., (775) 343-8138.

LIFESCAPES: A writing program giving seniors an opportunity to write and share their memoirs. New members are always welcome. Lifescapes is sponsored by the Washoe County Library System,

Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI), and the UNR Department of English. Thu 4/13, 10:30am. Free. South Valleys Library, 15650-A Wedge Parkway, (775) 851-5188.

MEN’S PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP:

Facilitated by a prostate cancer survivor, this support group is designed to help men cope with prostate cancer by offering education and support for patients during their cancer journey. The group meets in the Third Floor Orthopedic Conference Room in the Roseview Tower. Mon 4/17, 5:30pm. Free. Renown Regional Medical Center, 1155 Mill St.. (775) 982-6830.

NEW MOTHERS SUPPORT GROUP: This support

group is free and open to new mothers and their infants. A new topic concerning the postpartum mother and newborn will be discussed each week, including breastfeeding, sleep issues, normal newborn behavior and more. A scale is available for weight checks. Thu 4/13, 10am, 6pm. Free. Saint Mary’s Regional Medical Center, 235 W. Sixth St.. (775) 770-3429.

SPANISH LANGUAGE PRACTICE AND COFFEE

IN RENO: Spanish conversation, some grammar and coffee in a small group. The group gets together every other Saturday for one hour to discuss different topics of Spanish grammar and enjoy coffee and cookies or sweet bread. You will receive a binder with content corresponding to the day’s lesson. Sat 4/15, 11:30am. $10. 4600 Kietzke Lane, Bldg. B, Ste. 117, (775) 224-6271.

Greed between the lines

by AMY ALKON

I love my boyfriend. However, I feel bad that he never buys me presents. He did when we were dating, and he buys himself extravagant stuff. But he got me nothing for my birthday and only some trinkets for Christmas because I made a stink. When I’ve brought up the gifts issue, he’s implied that I’m materialistic. However, what matters to me is not the cost but that he’s thinking of me. Is my desire for gifts somehow shallow? Many men sneer at the importance their ladies place on getting gifts from them, deeming it a sign of female emotional frailty. What these men aren’t taking into account is that the differences that evolved in male and female psychology correspond to differences in male and female physiology.

Because, for a woman, sex can lead to pregnancy (and a hungry kid to drag around), female emotions evolved to act as a sort of alarm system, making a woman feel crappy when there are signs a man’s commitment may be waning. Wanting to feel better makes her take corrective action—pressing him to put up or get out. However, a man’s being willing to give gifts suggests a willingness to “invest” beyond 2.6 minutes of foreplay and a teaspoon of sperm.

Accordingly, evolutionary behavioral scientist Gad Saad believes that gift-giving evolved as a “distinctly male courtship strategy.” Though women do give gifts to romantic partners, they tend to wait till they’re in a relationship and then do it to “celebrate” being together. Saad’s research finds that men, on the other hand, “are much more likely to be tactical in their reasons for offering a gift to a romantic partner”—like, in the courtship phase, to get a woman into bed. Of course, if a woman wants to get a man into bed, she doesn’t need to give him a present to unwrap—she just starts unbuttoning her top.

Explain the science to your boyfriend. You don’t have a character deficiency—you just want him to show his love in the way that works for you. That’s what people who love each other do—even if they, say, believe the gift of their side salad at dinner should be gift enough. Besides, you aren’t demanding, “‘Tiara of the Week!’ or I’m gone!” You’d just like occasional little “thinking of you” prezzies and somewhat bigger ones on Official Girlfriend Holidays (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.). Ultimately, these are not just gifts but messages that making you happy is worth an investment of money and effort— beyond what he’s been putting in to run out and get his wallet wired shut just in time for your birthday.

Wussy galore

My fiancee and I were driving my drunk friend home from a party. He was saying rude things to her, but I knew he was just wasted and didn’t mean them, so I didn’t say anything. I thought my fiancee would also shrug it off, but she was mad and hurt that I didn’t stand up for her. Is it that big a deal? Couldn’t she have stood up for herself? A woman today may be perfectly capable of defending herself—with her big mouth or her big, pink handgun. However, she has an emotional operating system pushing her to go for men who show an ability and a willingness to protect her. This comes out of how, over millions of years of evolution, certain ladies’ children were more likely to survive and pass on their mother’s genes (and the psychology that rides along). Which children? Those whose mothers chose men who’d do more in an attack than, well, effectively crawl under the car seat and wish all the awfulness would stop.

Your fiancee probably still feels resentful and maybe even thinks less of you for how you basically showed all the testosterone-driven fortitude of a geranium. Consider what grandpas everywhere call “having character”—doing the right thing—even when that kinda blows for you. If, in looking back, you would’ve done things differently, tell your fiancee. Then pledge that going forward, you’ll be that kind of guy—and protecting the person who means most to you won’t involve pushing your girlfriend toward the grizzly bear so you’ll have more time to make a run for it. Ω

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).