RN&R Bridal Guide 2017

contents a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 19, 2017

Bridal Guide 2017

An unfAmiliAr ring mAid to order Just desserts “i do” the honors second to none Wedding checklist

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Bridal Guide

Bridal Guide 2017

H

ey there. Thanks for picking up a copy of RN&R’s bridal guide. And congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.

Chances are we don’t know each other, but I still want to wish you the best. I hope you have the most wonderful wedding—that you feel beautiful or handsome, that everyone kicks off their shoes and dances like crazy at your reception, and that you have many, many happy years of marriage thereafter.

This annual guide is a lot of fun for us. And we’ve got some stories that should be a lot of fun for you, too, I think. This year it’s all about breaking with tradition.

If you haven’t purchased rings yet, you might be interested in the story on page 5, which shares ideas about alternatives to the customary diamond ring.

And I have to tell you, after researching and writing it, I’m planning on getting one of those alternatives—a tattooed ring.

a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 19, 2017

I also took some time to learn about mix-and-match bridesmaid dresses from the experts at some local bridal boutiques. You can read about this trend—and get tips to pull it off with style—on page 6.

One page 10, you’ll find a story from our restaurant reviewer, Todd South, who talked with local caterers, bakers and wedding planners about options for individual desserts in lieu of a wedding cake.

You’ll also find stories from regular RN&R contributors Anna Hart and Josie Luciano. Anna has advice on how to make second weddings special.

That’s on page 13. And on page 12, Josie gives a helpful how-to for first time officiants.

I’ve also included a wedding checklist on page 15. So, happy reading and planning!

Regards, Jeri Chadwell-Singley RN&R Special Projects Editor

by Jeri Chadwell-Singley

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Bridal Guide

a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 19, 2017

by Jeri Chadwell-Singley

An unfamiliar ring Alternatives to the standard diamond ring

O

n April 5, 2016, the Knot—an online and appbased wedding planning tool from the media company XO Group Inc.—released its ninth annual Real Weddings Study, for which nearly 18,000 people who said “I do” in 2015 were surveyed.

When it came to engagement rings, 84 percent of people said they’d chosen a diamond. Only eight percent reported choosing a different stone. And the average cost?—a whopping $5,871.

Information from other sources corroborates the Knot’s findings. In 2013, Ken Gassman, president of the Jewelry Industry Research Institute, wrote a report for the diamond trading platform International Diamond Exchange in which he predicted that the market for diamonds would remain stable if somewhat flat in the U.S. through 2023.

So diamonds, it appears, are still the go-to stone for engagement rings. And if you haven’t heard the story about how diamonds came to be synonymous with marriage, just Google “diamond ring tradition De Beers.”

You’ll find a few dozen stories in sources ranging from Forbes to the Atlantic and the New York Times detailing how De Beers Consolidated Mines, Ltd. ran smart ad campaigns starting in the late ’30s that resulted in everyone knowing “diamonds are forever.”

But surely not everyone goes with a diamond engagement ring. In fact, you probably know some folks who didn’t. I certainly do, including one of my closest friends, my hair stylist and my niece.

In the event you’re considering an alternative engagement ring, here are a few ideas to get you started.

Get a real gem Part of the subtext of the whole “diamonds are forever” marketing ploy is that they’re durable. They’re the hardest mineral, sitting a 10 on the 10-point Mohs scale—a method devised in 1812 by German mineralogist and geologist Friedrich Mohs to rank the scratch resistance of minerals.

So, yes, diamonds are the most scratch-resistant.

But that doesn’t mean that all the other stones out there will scuff at the slightest touch. Sapphires, for example, are a nine on the Mohs scale. And while blue is the color most commonly associated with sapphires—like diamonds—they actually come in a range of colors from pink to green.

Looking for something a little more unusual?

Consider labradorite. It’s a feldspar mineral that’s around six to 6.5 on the Mohs scale and has a neat, iridescent play-of-color. Or perhaps you’d like a stone that might appreciate in value. In that case, you should look into tanzanite. According to the Tanzanite Foundation, the stone was discovered in the foothills of Mount Kilimanjaro in 1969, and there’s only about a 30-year supply of it left.

If you decide you want an alternative stone, a good place to start locally is Rupert’s Precision Gem Cutting, 2800 S. Curry St., Carson City, 882-5988. It’s run by Tobin Rupert, who has certifications in advanced gem cutting, diamond setting, jewelry repair and goldsmithing. Rupert’s staff includes designer Kendra Thurman.

Plus, he keeps a large selection of raw gemstones and other minerals for customers to choose from.

An option in Reno is Doug Moore’s shop, D Street Designs, 45 St. Lawrence Ave., 830-9295.

Choose any old thing There are a lot of things you can buy used—like cars and houses. And there are things that it would be truly great if you got secondhand—like pets from the shelter instead of a pet store. Well, an engagement ring can also be a new-to-you item—be it an heirloom or something you purchase.

There are, of course, things to consider when going with a vintage ring. If it’s an heirloom, you may really like the stone but hate the setting. Maybe it’s in yellow gold, but you’d prefer white gold or platinum. You can have it recast at many of the jewelers in town, but you should probably make sure you’re not going to hurt anyone’s feelings by doing so. And you definitely want

to get it appraised first—not only so you know its worth, but also so you know what condition it’s in. The Knot offers a guide to the ins-and-outs of resetting heirloom stones: http://bit.ly/2imDrG0.

Just because you don’t have a ring that’s been passed down for generations, that doesn’t mean you can’t go vintage. And while there are a slew of companies offering antique rings online, there are also plenty of antique stores in town that offer impressive jewelry selections—a nice way to shop local.

Make a permanent mark Again, the De Beers slogan is “diamonds are forever,” but there’s another option that may be going one better— a tattoo ring.

Naysayers will tell you that a wedding band tattoo will fade. They’re not wrong. The skin on your fingers is thin. That’s a good reason to go with a simple design in a dark color. You’ll also need to be diligent about not putting your hand in your pocket or submerging it in water while it heals, and you’ll have to commit to using sunscreen on the finger. And those aren’t the only concerns with tattooed rings. According to Inked Magazine, getting one will definitely hurt—a lot. Still, it’s a cool way to say “till death do us part.”

The website alternativebride.com has a list of tips for people considering wedding band tattoos, including doing a test run with henna and timing the tattooing for after your honeymoon at Sandals Resort. Read the rest here: http://bit.ly/1QujMfM.

Grow your own I’ll keep this short and to the point. Diamonds can be created in a lab. They’re not cubic zirconia. They’re visually, chemically and physically identical to mined diamonds. And they’re guaranteed to be conflict-free. If you’re interested, check out BVW Jewelers, 35 Foothill Road, 622-9015. ❑

a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 19, 2017

Bridal Guide

5

Bridal Guide

by Jeri Chadwell-Singley

Advice on how to pull off mix-and-match bridesmaid attire

Maid to order 6

Michelle Depoali, owner of Swoon ... a bridal salon, shows off complementary dresses in different materials.

I

t’s wedding pop quiz time. Which of these things is not like the others: flowers, aisle runners, chair covers, bridesmaids?

It’s the bridesmaids, of course— because people aren’t decorations, right?

So, why would a bride put all of her maids in seafoam green ball gowns with peach sashes to match her bouquet and cake? (And why would she ever dare say that the best part is they can wear them again?) Well—more and more often— the answer is, she wouldn’t.

While not all brides are entirely eschewing the notion of color coordinating bridesmaid dresses, many are approaching the outfitting of their wedding party with a greater emphasis on fashion than matching.

Perhaps the biggest trend to come from this movement in recent years is mismatched dresses for each maid.

And one need only look online to see examples of this trend employed well—and poorly. The people behind local bridal boutiques are in-the-know on fashion-forward wedding party trends and how to pull them off with style.

photo/ jeri chadwell-singley

Swoon... a bridal salon

530 W. Plumb Lane, 826-0505 Michelle Depoali got her start in the bridal business in San Francisco before returning to her hometown to start her own business. Swoon opened in 2008, and the store was recently named one of the top 50 bridal boutiques in the nation

by Brides Magazine. In part, she credits the new trends in bridesmaid dresses— and bridal fashion in general—to things like Pinterest that help brides visualize the possibilities for their weddings.

“I also think that it’s appealing because it’s a creative thing, to put a wedding together,” Depoali said. “And, you know, it’s a fun thing.”

According to Depoali, mix-and-match bridesmaid attire allows brides to create a cohesive look that’s not cookie-cutter.

“I think as bridal fashion has elevated, bridesmaids’ has too,” Depoali said.

“There’s just never been a better time to have to wear a bridesmaid’s dress, because there are so many pretty things.”

Among the styles trending at Swoon are long-sleeved dresses, lace, patterned

a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 19, 2017

and sequined materials and separates.

The result, she said, is that bridesmaid attire really might be something a woman would wear again.

“And a lot of our designers are actually switching—they’re changing their language and describing them as social dresses now, versus bridesmaids’ dresses, because that title is a bit tarnished in some people’s minds,” she said.

The Boulevard of Dreams 1180 Scheels Drive, Sparks, 826-5226

Kaci Torrisi took over ownership of the Boulevard of Dreams in 2015. Before that, she was the store’s manager—a gig she landed a few years after buying her prom dress there.

“I fell into the business, and I fell in love with it once I started doing it,” Torrisi said. “There’s just nothing else I could ever picture myself doing ever again.”

Her store offers custom wedding gowns that are guaranteed to be under $2,500 and also features a huge selection

of dresses—as in thousands—which works well in a bridal fashion climate where anything from cocktail gowns to prom dresses might double as bridesmaid attire, depending on the bride. Still, like other shops in the Truckee Meadows, Torrisi finds that her customers often have trends in mind before they start shopping.

“What’s trending right now is absolutely the chiffon, empire-waisted bridesmaid dresses,” she said. “The empire waist—if you do want them matching—is going to be pretty standard across the board, looking cute on almost all figures.”

Like Depoali at Swoon, Torrisi has also seen a growing interest in dresses with sleeves and sequins, as well as a continuing interest in mismatched dresses.

Top sellers at the store are gowns with lace-up corset backs that can accommodate women of different sizes without much alteration and infinity dresses, which feature long swaths of attached material that can be wrapped and tied to create different necklines or sleeves.

“But what’s funny is there is a dress … in the store that has been probably one of the most popular dresses for the last year and a half now … because it comes in about 30 colors, and the style just happens to look good on everybody,” Torrisi said.

And in the end, she said, this popular style often leads to wedding parties where the bridesmaids match, even if that wasn’t the original plan. But, Torrisi explained, with nearly three dozen colors to choose from, bridesmaids can still look different when wearing the same gown.

Blue Garter Bridal & Tux 948 Victorian Ave., Sparks, 358-4141

Cindy Lichty has been in the bridal business since the late ’90s. Her shop, located in the old Bank of Sparks building in Victorian Square currently features dresses that combine vintage style with modern aesthetics—including a lot of lace accents and long sleeves. And Lichty prides herself on carrying sample dresses of different styles in sizes ranging from the smallest to the largest.

“Every woman deserves to feel beautiful when trying on dresses,” she said.

When it comes to bridesmaid dresses, Lichty’s philosophy is one of simplicity.

She only orders about 24 dress styles from a limited selection of designers each year. The designers she carries specialize in customizable dresses that—in addition to different colors—come in short, long and tea-length.

Like at the other stores, sequined material is a popular look with Lichty’s customers. So is lace.

“You have your different colors, and you can put lining underneath them—any color of lining you want,” she said.

Dress codes Current trends may favor individuality, but that doesn’t mean there’s no need for ground rules. In fact, it’s something Depoali, Torrisi and Lichty all said bridesmaids benefit from—and generally prefer. And all three shop owners have developed tactics brides can employ to pull off the mismatched bridesmaids look without anyone wanting to pull out their hair.

Lichty at Blue Garter recommends creative, budget-friendly thinking. Have a bridesmaid who would prefer sleeves?

She may be able to have them made from any extra fabric removed from her dress during hemming. If not, she can order an extra yard of fabric, usually for around $15, and have it turned into sleeves or a wrap. Another tip she shared concerns belts, which are a popular way to change the look of a dress—but can be expensive.

Lichty’s advice: try a craft store, where a few feet of beaded or bejeweled ribbon can be purchased as a thriftier alternative.

Swoon’s owner, Depoali, recommends creating the individualized look by actually starting with the individual maids.

“What are their body shapes like?

Because, in the end, what’s going to look good is when people feel good in what they’re wearing, so we want to pay attention to who we’re dressing and how that all comes together for the bride’s vision,” she said.

After choosing dress styles, it can be easier to figure out combinations of materials, patterns and colors.

Another trend the three shop owners have all encountered is bridesmaid dresses in a variety of shades of the same color. It’s an approach that can work well to give bridesmaids distinguished looks, even if they’re wearing the same material and style of dress. For those looking to pull this off well, Torrisi offers a crafty piece of advice—get paint color cards from the hardware store to demonstrate the shades bridesmaids should choose from.

There’s one other thing Depoali, Torrisi and Lichty all stressed— mismatched bridesmaid dresses really do seem to go hand-in-hand with styles maids are more likely to actually wear again. And the retirement of nightmarish, décor-matching dresses is something everyone can applaud. ❑

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Bridal Guide

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a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 19, 2017

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Bridal Guide

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C

by todd south

The Cheese Board, 247 California Ave., 323-3115 “So, I’d say gone are the days of a traditional cake, and I won’t be ashamed to admit that I am OK with that,” Marrufo-Shapiro said. In their place, she’s seeing trends like cake pops, doughnut tiers, cupcake towers and dessert bars.

When Marrufo-Shapiro got married just over a year ago, she chose to have a small cake for the slicing tradition—plus a selection of petite bites, including lemon bars, mini hand pies, s’mores bars, chocolate oatmeal cookies and other items from the Cheese Board.

She offers this piece of advice for people planning summer weddings: Consider what you’re serving and how it will hold up in warmer temperatures. Frosted things like cupcakes can still work in hot weather, but you’ll want to have them put out shortly before they’re served.

Liane MccoMbs

Liane McCombs Wedding & Event Planning, 4790 Caughlin Pkwy., 786-1730 According to McCombs, “a smaller ‘cutting cake’ is definitely more common with today’s couples.” This is often supplemented with a dessert buffet to provide a balance of sweets, chocolate and non-chocolate, with a variety of textures and sizes.

Mini eclairs, chocolate-covered strawberries, cookies, doughnuts, peanut butter brownies, mini tarts, mousse cups, ice cream with toppings and cake pops are all very popular, she said.

KeLLey schneider

Lavender Box Bakery, 885 Sparks Blvd., Sparks, 737-4551 “I personally love the trend away from the traditional, large, tiered cakes,” Schneider said. “We are doing more dessert tables and cookie bars for weddings.”

According to Schneider, simple dessert bites compete favorably on cost, though elaborately decorated cupcakes take more labor and can be more expensive per serving. Current favorites from Lavender Box Baker are cookie tables and naked—unfrosted—cakes.

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Bridal Guide

Mary aLLstead

Mix Cupcake Co. and Levi’s Pies, 655 Booth St., 329-1748

“They will have morning pastries and fruit in the bride and grooms’ suites for their bridal party to enjoy while everyone is getting ready,” Alumbaugh said. “And then they will also have our boxed lunches to provide sustenance before the long day ahead of them.”

Kerry hawK

Blue Sky Events, 255 Kingsbury Grade Road, Stateline, 589-2210

“Over the past seven and a half years, we have consistently done a significant number of weddings,” Allstead said, adding that couples like her companies’ mix of cupcakes, cookies and pies—both full-size and mini.

While both cupcakes and pies are an option for weddings—regardless of season—Allstead advises couples to consider how different desserts will fare at different temperatures.

For example, she said, “Cupcakes with buttercream frosting might not be the best choice for an outdoor wedding in the heat of the summer.

This is where pies might be a better option for our couples.”

“A ‘sweet and salty dessert bar’ is always a unique treat for guests, [with] chocolate covered pretzel sticks, potato chips displayed in apothecary jars, chocolate covered strawberries, brownies and lemon bars,” Hawk said.

As an event planner, Hawk has plenty of advice on local caterers and companies to work with.

She offers this advice for cold weather weddings: “If it’s going to be a chilly night your guests will love you if you provide them with a coffee station with hot cocoa and liquors to accompany, next to your dessert bar.”

Her other advice, be prepared—with dessert tables, guests sometimes start devouring treats before the bride and groom finish dinner.

Kevin furaMaKi

Kristen sMith bowen

Roundabout Catering, 631 Dunn Circle, Sparks, 851-2091 “I’m a bit indifferent to the trend, but I am happy to see any couple doing things out of the box, which makes things a lot more fun and exciting for me as a pastry chef,” said Furamaki.

During his 15-year culinary career, he’s seen alternative desserts become the mainstream option. These days it’s common for him to put together dessert tables with something chocolate, something textured, and something creamy—to provide variety and a nice presentation. Popular items include mini-fruit tarts, crème brulee and cupcakes.

“I’m a detail-type person, so I like anything that requires a little more work,” Furamaki said.

“For example, croquembouche—individual cream puffs in a pyramid shape—are one of my personal favorites.”

Buttercream Bliss Gourmet Cupcakes, 1756 Clover Leaf Drive, Sparks, 354-8888 One thing Bowen likes about small desserts is that they provide guests with options, including accommodation for dietary restrictions.

“I often do a gluten-free option at weddings,” she said.

Popular cupcake flavors from Buttercream Bliss include vanilla bean bliss, strawberry cream, strawberry champagne, triple chocolate, red velvet and lemon cream. But Bowen also provides options outside of cupcakes, including cookies, chocolate-dipped pretzel rods, marshmallow pops and other chocolate-dipped items that can be customized to the colors and theme of a wedding. ❑

nichoLLe aLuMbaugh

Homage Bakery, 519 Ralston St., 323-8952 “Pies! We do a lot of pies,” Alumbaugh said.

“We offer a mini pie table, where couples can choose from … over three dozen pie flavors.

We also offer them in our larger size that can be sliced and served at the event.”

Homage has offered dessert tables since it first opened in 2011. The bakery also does sixinch cutting cakes. One popular dessert option is a cheesecake bar with plain slices of cheesecake and a selection of toppings.

Homage also does boxed breakfasts and lunches. a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 19, 2017

Just desserts

Jessica Marrufo-shapiro

Schneider’s advice to couples is to remember to plan ahead; last minute is not the time to order dessert for 200 people.

“The most difficult thing is to have to decline a wedding cake/dessert because the time frame is too short to be able to give the couple the best we have to offer,” she said.

Individual desserts take the cake at weddings

akes and the like have been featured at weddings for more than a couple millennia. Romans broke loaves of bread over the bride’s head for good fortune. And for more than a century, multi-tiered cakes have been the traditional centerpiece of wedding culture in the Western world. Though still a popular option, the classic, one-size-feeds-all confection appears to be dropping off, as modern couples look to alternatives that provide options for their guests.

I asked a few local experts for their experiences with this trend and where they think it’s headed.

u t l a a r t i g o n ns oC to all the happy couples From The a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 19, 2017

Bridal Guide

11

“D

o you?”

It’s a question that every smoker, drinker, and bride or groom has to answer honestly at least once in their lives. It’s also a question that’s becoming easier to ask in the nuptial sense thanks to a perfect storm of loose ordination regulations and the wedding tradition of breaking wedding traditions.

In 2017, it’s possible to be asked to officiate a marriage on Monday morning, receive your license Monday afternoon and preside over the ceremony Monday evening.

I guess you could even marry the couple on Monday afternoon, but that seems kind of rushed, even for you.

Also, who gets married on a Monday? Also, is that a Jedi robe you’re wearing? Did the bride and groom specifically request that? Because if they didn’t, you need to take that off right now.

I don’t have to tell you what a big responsibility it is to officiate a wedding, but you should know that there are a few ground rules—beginning with the moment you’re tapped as a potential officiant and ending with the “I do’s.”

The ask There are four scenarios where you can consider officiating a wedding and one where you should absolutely decline.

See if you can spot the bad idea: ㅤㅤ Youㅤareㅤrelatedㅤtoㅤtheㅤbride/groom ㅤㅤ Youㅤareㅤaㅤcloseㅤfriendㅤofㅤtheㅤbride/groom ㅤㅤ Youㅤareㅤaㅤreligiousㅤadviserㅤtoㅤtheㅤbride/groom ㅤㅤ Youㅤareㅤaㅤco-workerㅤofㅤtheㅤbride/groom ㅤㅤ Youㅤareㅤcompleteㅤstrangerㅤtoㅤtheㅤbride/groom If you guessed that number four is the stinker, then you are correct! Presiding over a wedding for a coworker, or— even weirder—having a boss officiate is generally a murky situation. What if you get fired or have to fire someone?

What if you end up on a team project with your coworker and he finds out that you’re the kind of person who doesn’t pull your planning weight for, say, the office Christmas party? What then? All of those wedding photos will be tainted with the knowledge that you half-assed the holiday decorations. Did you half-ass the wedding, too?

There are, of course, exceptions to this rule. For example, if your friendship pre-dates your coworker relationship by at least six months. Or, if you are often told that you resemble The Impressive Clergyman from The Princess Bride. Or maybe you have zero shame. All of these instances are frowned upon, but allowed.

The self-check Even if you don’t work with the bride or groom, you still might have some misgivings about officiating a wedding.

Here, it is important to note that you cannot rely on the happy couple to weigh these concerns for you. They are drunk on love, and it’s clouding their judgment. Besides, you could be a complete stranger. Instead, you will have to look deep inside and ask yourself three questions: ㅤㅤ Areㅤyouㅤinㅤloveㅤwithㅤtheㅤbride/groom? ㅤㅤ Doㅤyouㅤhaveㅤaㅤfearㅤofㅤpublicㅤspeaking? ㅤㅤ Doㅤyouㅤlikeㅤgoingㅤrogue?

Obviously, if you are in love with the bride or groom, this is disqualifying. It’s bad form to be both the person

12

Bridal Guide

“I do” the honors

A guide for the uninitiated officiant

by Josie Luciano

saying, “Speak now or forever hold your peace ...” and the person to object—tacky.

As far as public speaking goes, being close friends or even related to the betrothed does not trump your gripping fear in this scenario. This is not a time to work on yourself. This is a time to acknowledge your limits and later join Toastmasters or enroll in that community college course or renew your commitment to your already-abandoned New Year’s resolution to get better at public speaking by practicing “Jabberwocky” in your bathroom mirror until the words make perfect sense and your jaw is sore.

Going rogue is trickier, because if you like to go rogue, you don’t like to make decisions based on your tendency to go or not go rogue. Sarah Palin, the original “go-roguer,” had this to say about going rogue during the presidential campaign in her 2009 autobiography, Going Rogue: “A couple of times I had a friend in Anchorage track down phone numbers for me, and then I snuck in calls to folks like Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity, and someone I thought was Larry Kudlow but turned out to be Neil Cavuto’s producer.”

That sounds like a disaster. Don’t go off script, no matter how badly you want to bootstrap the heck out of your friend’s wedding. They will resent you for the rest of their marriage and maybe the rest of their lives.

The preparation Now that you’ve determined that you are a qualified officiant, the real work begins. First, do some research about ordination licenses and state laws. Some states allow you to obtain a permit online but only if the license company is based in the state where you will be an officiant (Nevada, most other states). Some states do not recognize any online licenses at all (Virginia, Tennessee, Pennsylvania). And one state does not care one way or another as long as you are 18 years of age and agree to sign up for a newsletter that you will immediately unsubscribe from following the ceremony (California).

As a courtesy to both the bride and the groom, read up about the extra steps they will need to take to make it official. This usually involves obtaining a marriage license and certificate from the county clerk’s office. Even though this part is not technically your responsibility, filing the marriage

a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 19, 2017

certificate with the county clerk after the wedding will be.

Once you’ve gotten a handle on the legal aspects of the ceremony, sit down with the bride and groom and do some personalizing.

Chances are—if they’ve asked you to officiate—there are other places that the couple deviates from the norm as well. Custom vows, tattoo rings and different music for each member of the wedding party are all popular choices.

You will probably get to tell a short, funny story about an experience you’ve shared with the couple, as long as it’s really short and pre-approved as funny.

It is also likely that there will be a rehearsal at some point—but if there isn’t, you need to be the adult and insist on one. Walking down an aisle and standing in front of an audience is not hard, but it’s the kind of thing that looks really dumb if the timing is off. Everyone will know if you skip rehearsal.

The day of This is your day (kind of). Leave lots of time to get ready and pamper yourself. Oftentimes, you will be invited to share the dressing room of the bride or groom’s party.

There are usually soft chairs, snacks and lots of grooming products in these rooms. Even if you were not invited, ask if you can join in this pre-wedding ritual. They will not say no.

Go over your lines and visualize the ceremony one last time.

If for some reason you are reading this and thinking, “I like going rogue and I didn’t stop myself before this point,” then now is your last chance to do the right thing.

Hand over your notes to the closest person in the dressing room and explain the situation. It is now Aunt Leslie’s duty to officiate the ceremony. Pull up www.open-ministry.org on your computer and walk her through the process of getting an expedited license. It’s the least you can do.

Not going rogue? Smile and breathe. Remember why you said yes to this. Stick to your script, but do not act like you are reading a script. Be perfect, but not too perfect. Do not outshine the bride and groom. TAKE OFF THAT JEDI ROBE. If you get stuck, you can always read a passage from Corinthians. You’ll do fine. ❑

by Anna Hart

W

hen a person imagines his or her wedding day, it is often in picture-perfect snippets. From the “I do’s” to the first dance, to cutting the cake, people envision their fairytale romances playing out just like the end of their favorite rom-coms. And like their favorite rom-coms, no one expects their wedding day to have a sequel. Sometimes, life doesn’t go as planned.

But there are so many things that are better the second time around, why shouldn’t your wedding be one of them?

“I don’t believe that just because you have had a wedding before [that] means your second one has to be any less special,” said Audrey Quint, co-owner of Fête Designs, a local event planning business. “In a second wedding, each moment, although different, is just as special, even more so for some.”

So whether you are remarrying or renewing vows, here are some tips for your victory lap down the aisle.

Wear what makes you feel good In the past, it was proper decorum for a bride to leave the lavish white gown and veil behind, in favor of something less formal and more modest for her second stroll down the aisle.

But now, if your heart beats for nothing less than that sparkling white taffeta ball gown, the only thing that should stop you is whether or not you can dance in it. Conversely, if you are ready to ditch the stuffy formal wear for something free and fun, do it. Dress to your own style and personality—not by some outdated etiquette textbook.

Involve your kids in the festivities When it’s not your first wedding, there is a good chance that children are already in the picture. Engaging them in the planning can help ease any awkward transitions. Also consider

Second to none

Tying the knot again can be great making them part of your wedding party or the ceremony. Including them in your festivities reminds them that your wedding is not only uniting two souls—it’s creating one family.

Consider skipping the registry Many couples opt out of a registry for their second wedding, which makes sense. They’ve probably had more time to amass a collection of crockpots and gravy boats that they won’t use.

But if you aren’t willing to drop the registry completely, try something different—create a wish list of gift certificates for date nights, a honeymoon fund, or encourage guests to put their money towards your favorite charities instead.

Be ready for a little extra paperwork Generally, the process to get a marriage license will be pretty similar to the process you went through for your first marriage. However, this time, you may need to bring a divorce decree or death certificate of your former spouse.

Regulations vary for each state, so call your local county clerk in advance.

Take the opportunity to make your day your own Many couples who plan to get remarried are often a little older and more financially stable, which is good, considering parents do not usually want to foot the bill for the second wedding. This can be a blessing in disguise and allows couples the freedom to plan the wedding they want, free from anyone else’s conditions. Don’t want your uncle to be the videographer? Great! Think that throwing a garter belt is tacky? Cool! Want to get married in a venue that doesn’t question the validity of

your marriage? Perfect! These are all decisions that you can make with confidence when your in-laws don’t have you by the purse strings.

Don’t be contrary for the sake of being contrary It is understandable to want your second wedding to differ from your first. Maybe you realized that a sushi buffet wasn’t a good idea for an outdoor wedding in July. Or it could be that you now understand that shoulder pads look terrible on everyone. Perhaps you just want to avoid awkward fights: “Well, my first wife loved my mother’s ideas for chartreuse bridesmaid dresses.” But don’t think that you have to do the complete opposite of everything you did for your first wedding. Instead of comparing your current wedding to your past one, make choices that reflect the personality and style of your relationship now.

It is all about you Regardless of where your wedding is, who your guests are, or how many more ridiculously unnecessary things you’ve put on your registry this time, your wedding day is about celebrating the starting page of a new chapter in your life.

Make sure that your encore wedding is how you want it. When in doubt, follow the advice of Jessica Pete, the owner of Once Upon a Time Events, who said, “There is one thing I would tell people. No matter what, if it is your first, second or fifth wedding, it is about you and your partner. Let go of people’s opinions and do what makes you happy.” ❑

a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 19, 2017

Bridal Guide

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Bridal Guide

a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 19, 2017

18-12 months out

ㅤㅤ F ㅤ igureㅤoutㅤyourㅤbudget.ㅤHowㅤmuchㅤwillㅤyouㅤandㅤyourㅤ spouse-to-beㅤcontribute?ㅤWillㅤyourㅤfamiliesㅤbeㅤchippingㅤ in?ㅤ(Beㅤprepared—thoseㅤwithㅤaㅤfinancialㅤstakeㅤoftenㅤ wantㅤaㅤsayㅤinㅤthingsㅤlikeㅤtheㅤguestㅤlistㅤandㅤmenu.)ㅤ ㅤㅤ C ㅤ hooseㅤanㅤofficiant.ㅤYouㅤcanㅤbookㅤone,ㅤorㅤyouㅤcanㅤ talkㅤaㅤfriendㅤorㅤlovedㅤoneㅤintoㅤgettingㅤlicensedㅤandㅤ ordained.ㅤ(JosieㅤLucianoㅤhasㅤputㅤtogetherㅤaㅤguideㅤforㅤ would-beㅤofficiantsㅤonㅤpageㅤ12.) ㅤㅤ P ㅤ ickㅤyourㅤdateㅤandㅤbookㅤyourㅤvenue(s).ㅤTheㅤearlierㅤ youㅤdecide,ㅤtheㅤbetterㅤyourㅤchancesㅤofㅤgettingㅤbothㅤtheㅤ dateㅤandㅤlocationㅤyouㅤwant.ㅤ ㅤㅤ P ㅤ ickㅤtheㅤpeopleㅤwhoㅤwillㅤbeㅤinㅤyourㅤweddingㅤparty.ㅤ Peopleㅤareㅤgoingㅤtoㅤstartㅤwonderingㅤaboutㅤthisㅤasㅤsoonㅤ asㅤtheyㅤhearㅤyou’reㅤengaged.ㅤHavingㅤtheseㅤdetailsㅤ ironedㅤoutㅤwillㅤmakeㅤplanningㅤforㅤlead-upㅤeventsㅤlikeㅤ bachelorㅤandㅤbacheloretteㅤpartiesㅤandㅤtheㅤrehearsalㅤ dinnerㅤeasier. ㅤㅤ T ㅤ heㅤguestㅤlistㅤcanㅤbeㅤaㅤsourceㅤofㅤinfiniteㅤstress—andㅤ evenㅤcombat—betweenㅤfutureㅤspouses.ㅤAㅤspreadsheetㅤ canㅤhelpㅤyouㅤkeepㅤthingsㅤinㅤperspective.ㅤUseㅤitㅤtoㅤ trackㅤnames,ㅤcontactㅤinfo,ㅤRSVPsㅤandㅤtheㅤlike.ㅤ ㅤㅤ Iㅤ fㅤyou’reㅤgoingㅤtoㅤhireㅤaㅤweddingㅤplanner,ㅤthisㅤisㅤ theㅤtimeㅤtoㅤstartㅤshoppingㅤaroundㅤforㅤone.ㅤIfㅤyouㅤ don’tㅤwantㅤone,ㅤthat’sㅤyourㅤcall—justㅤmakeㅤsureㅤyouㅤ considerㅤallㅤofㅤtheㅤhypotheticalsㅤbeforeㅤyouㅤdecide.ㅤ Forㅤexample,ㅤwhatㅤifㅤyouㅤplanㅤtoㅤdecorateㅤyourㅤvenueㅤ theㅤnightㅤbeforeㅤbutㅤfindㅤoutㅤthatㅤthere’sㅤbeenㅤaㅤ last-minuteㅤbookingㅤforㅤthatㅤnight,ㅤandㅤnowㅤyouㅤcan’tㅤ decorateㅤtillㅤtheㅤmorningㅤof—canㅤyouㅤdeal?

12-8 months out

ㅤㅤ B ㅤ ookㅤyourㅤphotographerㅤand,ㅤifㅤyou’reㅤhavingㅤone,ㅤaㅤ videographer.ㅤ ㅤㅤ W ㅤ illㅤyouㅤbookㅤaㅤbandㅤorㅤaㅤDJ?ㅤEitherㅤway,ㅤit’sㅤtimeㅤtoㅤ getㅤthisㅤdone.ㅤ ㅤㅤ Iㅤ fㅤyou’veㅤgotㅤaㅤbunchㅤofㅤguestsㅤcomingㅤfromㅤoutㅤofㅤ town,ㅤyouㅤmightㅤwantㅤtoㅤseeㅤaboutㅤreservingㅤaㅤblockㅤ ofㅤhotelㅤrooms.ㅤThis,ㅤofㅤcourse,ㅤalsoㅤappliesㅤifㅤyou’reㅤ havingㅤtheㅤweddingㅤoutㅤofㅤtown. ㅤㅤ Iㅤ t’sㅤtimeㅤtoㅤmakeㅤsomeㅤdecisionsㅤconcerningㅤtheㅤmenuㅤ forㅤyourㅤbigㅤday.ㅤDoesㅤtheㅤvenueㅤofferㅤcatering?ㅤIfㅤ not,ㅤthisㅤisㅤaㅤgoodㅤtimeㅤtoㅤstartㅤmeetingㅤwithㅤcaterers.ㅤ

Sounds like a plan

Get your wedding planning underway with this checklist

ㅤㅤ Iㅤ t’sㅤtimeㅤtoㅤsendㅤoutㅤ“saveㅤtheㅤdate”ㅤcards,ㅤemails,ㅤ emails, textsㅤorㅤwhateverㅤyouㅤchoose.ㅤYouㅤshouldㅤalsoㅤprobprobablyㅤchooseㅤtheㅤactualㅤinvitationsㅤforㅤyourㅤweddingㅤ andㅤgetㅤthemㅤordered.ㅤ ㅤㅤ M ㅤ eetㅤupㅤwithㅤyourㅤofficiantㅤtoㅤplanㅤoutㅤtheㅤceremony.ㅤ Thisㅤisㅤespeciallyㅤimportantㅤifㅤyourㅤofficiantㅤisㅤaㅤ friendㅤorㅤfamilyㅤmemberㅤwhoㅤdoesn’tㅤhaveㅤexperienceㅤ inㅤtheㅤweddingㅤarena.ㅤYou’llㅤwantㅤtoㅤmakeㅤsureㅤtheㅤ personㅤwho’sㅤdoingㅤyouㅤtheㅤhonorㅤisㅤconfidentㅤandㅤ comfortableㅤwithㅤleadingㅤtheㅤceremony.ㅤ ㅤㅤ B ㅤ ookㅤyourㅤflorist.ㅤByㅤnow,ㅤyouㅤshouldㅤknowㅤwhatㅤ yourㅤweddingㅤcolorsㅤandㅤthemeㅤwillㅤbe.ㅤ

5-4 months out

ㅤㅤ Iㅤ t’sㅤtimeㅤtoㅤbuyㅤtheㅤdress,ㅤorㅤpantsuit,ㅤorㅤwhateverㅤyouㅤ wantㅤtoㅤwearㅤtoㅤyourㅤwedding.ㅤBetweenㅤorderingㅤandㅤ altering,ㅤaㅤweddingㅤgetupㅤmayㅤtakeㅤupwardsㅤofㅤsixㅤ monthsㅤtoㅤbeㅤready.ㅤ

ㅤㅤ Bookㅤtheㅤvenueㅤforㅤyourㅤrehearsalㅤdinner.ㅤ

ㅤㅤ G ㅤ etㅤyourㅤweddingㅤregistryㅤupㅤandㅤrunning.ㅤMaybeㅤ you’dㅤlikeㅤtoㅤconsiderㅤsomethingㅤinㅤlieuㅤofㅤaㅤregistry?ㅤ Howㅤaboutㅤaㅤ“honeyㅤfund”ㅤtoㅤhelpㅤpayㅤforㅤyourㅤ honeymoon?

ㅤㅤ Iㅤ fㅤyou’reㅤhavingㅤyourㅤhairㅤandㅤmakeupㅤdone,ㅤnow’sㅤ theㅤtimeㅤtoㅤstartㅤshoppingㅤaroundㅤforㅤtheㅤrightㅤ person(s)ㅤtoㅤdoㅤit.

ㅤㅤ S ㅤ peakingㅤofㅤwhich,ㅤit’sㅤprobablyㅤaboutㅤtimeㅤtoㅤstartㅤ planningㅤyourㅤhoneymoon.ㅤ

7-6 months out

ㅤㅤ Iㅤ fㅤthatㅤhoneymoonㅤyouㅤjustㅤplannedㅤinvolvesㅤaㅤ greatㅤescapeㅤtoㅤforeignㅤshores,ㅤit’sㅤtimeㅤtoㅤgetㅤyourㅤ passportsㅤup-to-dateㅤandㅤmakeㅤsureㅤyou’veㅤgotㅤanyㅤ immunizationsㅤyouㅤmayㅤneed.ㅤ ㅤㅤ Iㅤ t’sㅤtimeㅤtoㅤgetㅤyourㅤgroomsmen,ㅤbridesmaids,ㅤbridesmenㅤandㅤgroomsmaidsㅤoutfitted.ㅤIt’sㅤimportantㅤnotㅤtoㅤ putㅤthisㅤoff,ㅤbecauseㅤtheyㅤmayㅤneedㅤmultipleㅤfittingsㅤ toㅤgetㅤtheirㅤoutfitsㅤjustㅤright.ㅤButㅤhere’sㅤaㅤthought.ㅤ Ifㅤyou’reㅤsuperㅤbusy,ㅤwhyㅤnotㅤchooseㅤaㅤcolorㅤandㅤ materialㅤandㅤletㅤyourㅤweddingㅤpartyㅤchooseㅤtheirㅤownㅤ outfits?ㅤ(Seeㅤpageㅤ6ㅤforㅤaㅤstoryㅤaboutㅤthis.)ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ C ㅤ hooseㅤyourㅤcakeㅤandㅤgetㅤitㅤordered.ㅤOrㅤyouㅤcouldㅤ buckㅤtraditionㅤandㅤchooseㅤtastyㅤindividualㅤdesserts.ㅤ (SeeㅤToddㅤSouth’sㅤstoryㅤonㅤpageㅤ9.)ㅤ

ㅤㅤ S ㅤ tartㅤmakingㅤlistsㅤofㅤmusic.ㅤDecideㅤwhatㅤyouㅤwantㅤ playingㅤduringㅤkeyㅤpartsㅤofㅤyourㅤweddingㅤday.ㅤMakeㅤ sureㅤyouㅤalsoㅤhaveㅤaㅤlistㅤofㅤsongsㅤyouㅤdon’tㅤwantㅤtoㅤ hear.ㅤSendㅤthisㅤoffㅤtoㅤyourㅤbandㅤorㅤDJㅤwhenㅤdone.ㅤ

3-2 months out

ㅤㅤ Iㅤ t’sㅤtimeㅤtoㅤstartㅤdouble-checkingㅤthingsㅤonㅤyourㅤlist,ㅤ startingㅤwithㅤyourㅤrehearsalㅤandㅤreceptionㅤmenusㅤandㅤ theㅤflowersㅤyou’veㅤordered.ㅤMakeㅤsureㅤtheㅤfoodsㅤandㅤ flowersㅤyouㅤwantㅤareㅤinㅤseason.ㅤ ㅤㅤ G ㅤ iveㅤaㅤheads-upㅤtoㅤanyoneㅤyou’dㅤlikeㅤtoㅤhaveㅤspeakㅤ duringㅤtheㅤceremonyㅤorㅤreception.ㅤ

ㅤㅤ W ㅤ riteㅤoutㅤaㅤprovisionalㅤscheduleㅤforㅤyourㅤceremonyㅤ ceremony andㅤreception—asㅤinㅤwhatㅤwillㅤhappenㅤwhen.ㅤGiveㅤ when. Give copies be providing copiesㅤofㅤthisㅤtoㅤtheㅤpeopleㅤwhoㅤwillㅤbeㅤprovidingㅤ food,ㅤmusicㅤandㅤflowers.ㅤThisㅤwillㅤgiveㅤyouㅤplentyㅤofㅤ food, music will give you plenty of time to make adjustments and answer any questions timeㅤtoㅤmakeㅤadjustmentsㅤandㅤanswerㅤanyㅤquestionsㅤ theyㅤhave.ㅤ they have. ㅤㅤ S ㅤSend endㅤoutㅤyourㅤinvitationsㅤaboutㅤtwoㅤmonthsㅤbeforeㅤtheㅤ out your invitations about two months wedding,ㅤandㅤaskㅤeveryoneㅤtoㅤRSVPㅤwithinㅤtwoㅤorㅤ wedding, and ask everyone to RSVP threeㅤweeks.ㅤ

1 month out

ㅤㅤ B ㅤ yㅤthisㅤtime,ㅤyouㅤshouldㅤsendㅤoutㅤasㅤmanyㅤfinalㅤ paymentsㅤasㅤyou’reㅤable.ㅤ ㅤㅤ Iㅤ t’sㅤtimeㅤtoㅤgetㅤyourㅤmarriageㅤlicense.ㅤIfㅤyou’reㅤchangingㅤyourㅤname,ㅤgetㅤseveralㅤcopies. ㅤㅤ ㅤSendㅤoutㅤtheㅤinvitationsㅤtoㅤyourㅤrehearsalㅤdinner.

ㅤㅤ Y ㅤ ouㅤshouldㅤhaveㅤtheㅤnumberㅤofㅤguestㅤnailedㅤdownㅤbyㅤ now,ㅤso—assumingㅤyou’reㅤhavingㅤbooze—goㅤaheadㅤ andㅤorderㅤit! ㅤㅤ Iㅤ fㅤyou’reㅤassigningㅤseatingㅤatㅤtheㅤreception,ㅤyou’llㅤ wantㅤtoㅤtakeㅤcareㅤofㅤthatㅤsoon.ㅤ ㅤㅤ Don’tㅤforgetㅤaboutㅤbridesmaidsㅤandㅤgroomsmenㅤgifts.ㅤ

1 week out

ㅤㅤ Pickㅤupㅤyourㅤoutfit(s).

ㅤㅤ ㅤCallㅤallㅤofㅤyourㅤvendorsㅤtoㅤmakeㅤsureㅤthey’reㅤallㅤset.ㅤ

ㅤㅤ ㅤSendㅤyourㅤfinalㅤguestㅤlistㅤtoㅤtheㅤcaterer.ㅤ

ㅤㅤ D ㅤ on’tㅤletㅤlittleㅤworriesㅤstressㅤyouㅤnow.ㅤThisㅤisㅤit.ㅤ Takeㅤaㅤdeepㅤbreath.ㅤTakeㅤaㅤnap.ㅤTakeㅤaㅤValium—weㅤ won’tㅤjudge.ㅤㅤ ㅤ ❑

ㅤㅤ Iㅤ fㅤyouㅤhaven’tㅤalready,ㅤnow’sㅤtheㅤtimeㅤtoㅤbuyㅤyourㅤ weddingㅤrings.ㅤThisㅤshouldㅤleaveㅤenoughㅤtimeㅤforㅤ themㅤtoㅤbeㅤsized,ㅤifㅤnecessary.ㅤ a special supplement to the reno news & review | january 19, 2017

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