Advice Goddess

Mothership of fools

by AMY ALKON

This will sound crazy, but … should I tell my girlfriend, the love of my life, that I was abducted by aliens? It happened a long time ago, and I have no proof—just my own recollection. Yes, it could’ve been a dream, but even so, it changed how I see things and opened me up to new possibilities. My girlfriend is a schoolteacher and probably wouldn’t believe me. I want to be completely honest with her. Is that crazy? Like you, science historian and Skeptic magazine founder Michael Shermer felt like he had a little meet ’n’ greet with some outer space dudes. However, he realized that his supposed abduction was just the effects of “sleep deprivation and physical exhaustion” because he had just cycled 83 straight hours in a bikeathlon. This—mixed with a “distant memory” of a TV episode about aliens taking over the Earth—made for what Shermer calls “nothing more than a bizarre hallucination.”

Shermer notes that UFOs and alien abductions are “1. unaccepted by most people in astronomy, exobiology” and SETI (the search for extraterrestrial intelligence), “2. extremely unlikely (although not logically impossible), and 3. … largely based on anecdotal and uncorroborated evidence.”

However, Shermer explains, “[T]he human capacity for self-delusion is boundless, and the effects of belief are overpowering”—leading many people to swear that they actually did go on a ride with the little green men. As “evidence,” they’ll tell you they have really vivid “memories” of, say, the aliens bickering. But such “memories” are probably due to what memory researcher Elizabeth Loftus and her colleagues call “imagination inflation.” This describes how repeatedly imagining an experience can, over time, lead us to forget that the particular event came out of our imagination or a dream. We can start to believe it really happened.

For example, Loftus and her colleagues told research participants that a dream they’d revealed to the researchers probably meant that they’d had an upsetting experience before the age of 3, “like being bullied by an older child.” The participants insisted that they didn’t recall anything like that. Yet, about two weeks later, many reported experiencing the bullying they were simply told about—even offering details on how they were supposedly oppressed by some other 3-year-old.

This makes sense, considering cognitive psychologist Robert Bjork’s finding that “using one’s memory shapes memory”—meaning that the more we recall something the bigger and stronger it grows in our memory. Also, in recalling some event, we have a tendency to “decorate,” adding details that can easily get merged into the particular “memory.”

Also consider “cognitive dissonance”—the discomfort from simultaneously holding two opposing beliefs, like thinking that your worldview was transformed by UFOs while also thinking that it’s stupid to believe in UFOs. We tend to smooth out the clash by going with whichever belief works best for our ego. So, in your case, to continue believing that you’re intelligent and also not cockadoody in the head, you tell yourself that your memory of your special vacay with the 00100010111 family has to be real.

As for what to tell your girlfriend, what counts is that you had these insights. If you mention the alien thing at all, explain it in light of the science on how our memory likes to dabble in fiction writing.

While you’re at it, give yourself credit for your insights. It may help to understand our brain’s “default mode” processing. Our mind doesn’t just turn off when we take a break from directed, focused thinking (like reading, studying or pondering something). Wider neural networks take over and do subconscious background processing—gnawing on ideas and problems we’ve been working on. This can make insights seem like they came out of nowhere. But chances are, yours are a product of your mind and your real-life experience—an explanation that, sadly, lacks the panache of claiming the space dudes were going to use the anal probe on you but weren’t sure whether you could afford the copay. Ω

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

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VISIT ALL YEAR!

STREMMEL GALLERY: NatureDivine:

LandscapePaintingsoftheAmerican West.Paintings by Phyllis Shafer. M-Sa through 12/3. 1400 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-0558, www.stremmelgallery.com.

TAHOE GALLERY AT SIERRA NEVADA COLLEGE:

Ponderance. Sierra Nevada College BFA exhibit. Artist Josh Patten will talk at 5:30pm on Nov. 17. M-Su through 11/18; Th,

11/17, 5-7pm. Free. 999 Tahoe Blvd., Incline Village, (775) 831-1314.

WILBUR D. MAY MUSEUM, RANCHO SAN RAFAEL REGIONAL PARK: Aroundthe

Worldin40Days. The Sierra Watercolor Society returns to the Wilbur D. May Museum with a new exhibition of original watercolor paintings. Local and regional artists were asked to paint places they have visited or want to visit, favorite views, special events and other scenes. The result is the “Around the World in 40 Days” exhibition, featuring dozens of paintings that evoke the allure and beauty of travel. All paintings in the exhibition are available for purchase. Visitors are also invited to vote for their favorite painting to win the coveted “People’s Choice Award.” W-Su through 12/18. Free. 1595 N. Sierra St., (775) 785-5961.

MuseuMs

LAKE MANSION: FreeGuidedToursatthe

LakeMansion. The Lake Mansion is one of the few residences in the area that is listed on the Nevada State Register of

Historic Places and the National Register of Historic Places that is also open to the public to explore. F, noon through 12/31.

Free admission, donations accepted. 250 Court St., (775) 826-6100.

NEVADA MUSEUM OF ART: AndreaZittel:

Wallsprawl, W-Su through 12/31; Dennis

Parks:Land,LanguageandClay, W-Su through 1/8; APlaceintheCountry:

AboriginalAustralianPaintings, W-Su through 6/4; PeterStichbury:Anatomy ofa Phenomenon, W-Su through 5/28;

TarekAlGhoussein, W-Su through 2/19;

RobertAdams:AroundtheHouse, W-Su through 12/11; LeikoIkemura:Poeticsof

Form, W-Su through 1/15; TrevorPaglen:

OrbitalReflector, W-Su through 12/31; Ugo

Rondinone:SevenMagicMountains, W-Su through 5/11; AnthonyMcCall:Swell,W-Su through 1/8. $1-$10. 160 W. Liberty St., (775) 329-3333, www.nevadaart.org.

FilM

ALPENGLOW WINTER FILM SERIES: Local ath-

letes share stories of their adventures in the mountains during the 11th annual event. Th, 11/17, 7pm; Th, 12/1, 7pm; Th, 1/5,

7pm; Th, 2/23, 7pm. Free. Olympic Village Lodge, 1901 Chamonix Place, Olympic Valley, http://squawalpine.com.

THE LADY FROM SHANGHAI: Artemisia

Moviehouse presents a showing of the 1947 film directed by Orson Welles. In this seminal film noir, Orson Welles and Rita Hayworth meet on a shadowy path in Central Park. Before long they’re unwittingly entangled in a murder plot and courthouse drama, all leading up to one of cinema’s most famous shootouts. Tu, 11/22, 7-9pm. $7 general, $6 seniors, students, $5 members. Good Luck Macbeth Theatre Company, 713 S. Virginia St., http://artemisiamovies.weebly.com.

Poetry/literature

AUTHOR T.J. STILES: In celebration of the

2016 centennial of the Pulitzer Prizes, Nevada Humanities will host three Salon programs across Northern Nevada that will feature 2016 Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer T.J. Stiles. The programs will take place on Friday, Nov. 18, in Reno, and on Saturday, Nov. 19, in Winnemucca and Elko. The programs will provide Nevadans with an opportunity to engage in conversation with Stiles about his works—in particular, his interest in “changing the camera angle” with regard to the biographies he writes. F, 11/18, 6pm. Free. Sundance Books and Music, 121 California Ave., (800) 382-5023, www.nevadahumanities.org.

JENNIE WREN AND LOGAN BENSON: Meet

Jennie Wren, author of Slicker McQuicker. and spokesperson Logan Benson. Sa, 11/19, 1-3pm. Free. Reno Town Mall, 4001 S. Virginia St., (775) 232-5724, www.slickermcquicker.com.

MARK MAYNARD: Meet the author of the 2016 Nevada Reads book Grind.Su, 11/20, 1pm. Free. Downtown Reno Library, 301 S.

Center St., (775) 327-8312.

Music

NEVADA CHAMBER OPERA SCENES: Nevada

Chamber Opera presents a selection of scenes from popular operas. F, 11/18, 7:30pm; Su, 11/20, 2pm. $15; $5

for UNR students with ID. Nightingale Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts Building, University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-4278.

UNIVERSITY SYMPHONY FALL CONCERT NO. 2:

The final fall concert for the University Symphony will feature pianist Isadora Pastragus. Tu, 11/22, 7:30pm. $5; free

for UNR students with ID. Nightingale Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts Building, University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-4278.

sPorts & Fitness

GALENA CREEK GUIDED HIKE: Join a natural-

ist along one of the Galena Park trails and learn about the area. Bring water, sunscreen, hiking boots or snowshoes (depending on weather.) Sa, 10am. $5 donation. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mt. Rose Highway, (775) 849-4948, www.galenacreekvisitorcenter.org.

RENO BIGHORNS: The development league basketball team plays Oklahoma City

Blue, Sa, 11/19, 7pm. $10. Reno Events

Center, 400 N. Center St., (775) 853-8220, http://reno.dleague.nba.com.

RENO ICE RINK: The outdoor ice rink is open for the season. Hours are Monday to

Saturday 10am to 10pm, and Sunday 10am to 7pm. Free parking is available across the street along Evans Avenue.

M-Su through 1/28. $8 teens/adults ages 13-54, $6 children age 12 and younger, seniors age 55 and older, $4 skate rental.

Greater Nevada Field, 250 Evans Ave., (775) 334-7035. 11/17:Fall Dance Festival The Department of Theatre and Dance at the University of Nevada, Reno presents its fall showcase of dance pieces choreographed by faculty and students chosen by adjudication. The festival will include a broad spectrum of dance styles from classical to contemporary. Performances are at 8 p.m. on Thursday and Friday, Nov. 17-18, and 2 p.m. on Saturday, Nov. 19, at the Redfield Proscenium Theatre inside the Church Fine Arts Building, 1335 N. Virginia St., at UNR. Tickets are $5-$15. Call 784-4278 or visit www.unr.edu/arts.

onstage

DINNER MURDER MYSTERY: Funtime Theater

presents its dinner murder mysteries. The show starts at 6:30pm with dinner service starting at 7pm. Visit website for dinner selections. Third Sa of every month,

6pm through 11/18. $50. Lili’s, 2325 Kietzke Lane, (866) 449-7630 ext. 1.

THE LITTLE MERMAID: Western Nevada

Musical Theatre Company presents its production of Disney’s Academy Awardwinning animated feature film based on Hans Christian Andersen’s tale of a mermaid who falls in love with a human prince and risks her beautiful voice in exchange for a becoming human to be with him. F, 11/18, 7:30pm; Sa, 11/19, 2 & 7:30pm; Su, 11/20, 2pm. $25-$28. Bob

Boldrick Theater, Carson City Community Center, 851 E. William St., Carson City, (866) 977-6849, www.wnmtc.com.

ONCE: Broadway Comes to Reno opens its 2016-2017 with the Tony Award-winning musical about going for your dreams, not living in fear and the power of music to connect all of us. F, 11/18, 8pm; Sa, 11/19, 2 & 8pm; Su, 11/20, 2 & 7pm. $50-$85.

Pioneer Center for the Performing Arts, 100 S. Virginia St., (775) 686-6600, www. pioneercenter.com.

classes

GARDENING 101—COMPOST: Learn about

different composting techniques and the benefits of compost for your home garden. Participants will work together to build an aerated compost pile on the farm and measure the decomposition progress of existing piles. Sa, 11/19, 1:303:30pm. $10. Urban Roots, 3001 W. Fourth St. Ste. 12, (435) 754-4607, www.urgc.org.

coMMunity

BEGINNING WEST COAST SWING LESSON: West

Coast swing dancing sponsored by High Sierra Swing Dance Club. Preceded by a lesson by Tim Renner in beginning West Coast swing at 6pm. No partner necessary. Tu, 6-8pm through 1/31. $8. El Charro

Avitia, 4389 S. Carson St., Carson City, (707) 321-3010, www.hssdc.org.

CANCER SUPPORT GROUP: This group is for

patients and families facing cancer and is facilitated by an oncology social worker. Participants can share experiences and express feelings and concerns. The support group meets in the Orthopedic Conference Room on the third floor of the Roseview Tower. Th, 11:30am-1pm. Free. Renown Regional Medical Center, 1155 Mill St., (775) 982-6831, www.renown.org.

CLICKETS KNITTING GROUP: Jean Peters

guides this class for knitters of all ages and levels. Yarn and needles are available. First and Third Su of every month,

1:30-3pm. Free. Spanish Springs Library, 7100A Pyramid Lake Highway, located at Lazy 5 Regional Park, Spanish Springs, (775) 424-1800.

CROCHET CONNECTION: Learn to crochet or

share tips with other crochet enthusiasts. Th, 4-5:45pm. Free. Spanish Springs Library, 7100A Pyramid Lake Highway, located at Lazy 5 Regional Park, Spanish Springs, (775) 424-1800.

INTERMEDIATE WEST COAST SWING LESSON:

West Coast swing dancing sponsored by High Sierra Swing Dance Club. Preceded by a lesson by Tim Renner in intermediate West Coast swing at 6pm. No partner necessary. M, 6-9pm through 1/30. $8. El

Charro Avitia Restaurant, 4389 S. Carson St., Carson City, www.hssdc.org.

KNITTING & CROCHET CLUB: This group is

open to who enjoys knitting or crocheting. Second and third Sa of every month,

1-3pm. Free. Northwest Reno Library, 2325 Robb Drive, (775) 787-4100.

LIFESCAPES: In this program, seniors are given an opportunity to write and share their memoirs. Lifescapes is a project sponsored by the Washoe County Library

System, Osher Lifelong Learning Institute and the Department of English at the

University of Nevada, Reno. M, 11/21, 1-3pm. Free. Northwest Reno Library, 2325 Robb Drive, (775) 787-4100.

MAN TO MAN PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT

GROUP: Facilitated by a prostate cancer survivor, this new support group is designed to help men cope with prostate cancer by offering education and support for patients during their cancer journey. The group meets in the Orthopedic Conference Room on the third floor in the Roseview Tower. First and third M of every month, 5:30-7pm. Free.

Renown Regional Medical Center, 1155 Mill St., (775) 982-6831, www.renown.org. SO VERY LITERARY BOOK CLUB: The book club

meets every third Thursday. Th, 11/17, 1:30-2:30pm. Free. South Valleys Library, 15650A Wedge Parkway, (775) 851-5190.

SOUTH VALLEYS BRIDGE GROUP: Join Jill and

meet new friends. Basic bridge knowledge preferred. F, 1-4pm. Free. South Valleys Library, 15650A Wedge Parkway, (775) 851-5190.

SPARKS LIBRARY KNITTING AND CROCHETING

CIRCLE: Join the Sparks Library every Thursday and learn the techniques to start your masterpiece. Th, 4-6pm. Free. Sparks Library, 1125 12th St., Sparks, (775) 352-3200.

THE TUESDAY NIGHT YARN CREW: All skill

levels and yarn-crafts are welcome. Bring your project to this “sit and knit” gathering. Tu, 5:30-7pm. Free. South Valleys Library, 15650A Wedge Parkway, (775) 851-5190.

WOMEN’S BREAST AND GYNECOLOGIC CANCER

SUPPORT GROUP: Patients and survivors are invited to share experiences, concerns and feelings and offer hope and help to one another through their cancer journey. This support group meets in the Orthopedic Conference Room on the third floor of the Roseview Tower. Second and fourth W of every month, 5:30-7pm. Free.

Renown Regional Medical Center, 1155 Mill St., (775) 982-6831, www.renown.org.

YARN TIME: Learn to knit or crochet or improve your skills with other knitting enthusiasts. Second W of every month, 2-4pm; Fourth W of every month. Free.

North Valleys Library, 1075 N. Hills Blvd., Ste. 340, North Hills Shopping Center, Golden Valley, (775) 972-0281.

Volunteer

BLOOD DONATIONS: Give the gift of life and donate blood. Donors must be healthy, weigh at least 110 pounds and be at least 17 years old. Call to make an appointment. M-Su. United Blood Services, 1125

Terminal Way, (775) 324-6454.

MYSTERY BOOK CLUB: The book club meets

every third Sunday. Su, 11/20, 1-2pm. Free. Spanish Springs Library, 7100A Pyramid Lake Highway, located at Lazy 5 Regional Park, Spanish Springs, (775) 424-1800.

RENO COIN CLUB MEETING: Reno Coin Club

presents “Coins: The Beginning.” David Elliott will present a look at the development of the first coinage when the ancients went from barter to money for exchange of goods. Tu, 11/22, 7-9:30pm.

SAM ADAMS NIGHT: Join the Nevada Capital

Libertarian Party at this monthly gathering. Learn about the NVCLP, listen to speakers and featured guests and visit with fellow Libertarians. Third Th of every month, 7pm. Free. Comma Coffee, 312 S.

Carson St., Carson City, (775) 883-2662, www.nvclp.org.